James Corden: How to Know When the Time is Right to Let Go

47:43I think it's just people go, well, this is going to be good on my story. Right? I do. No, I do. No, I'm not. That is not any faux. I genuinely believe that. I think people are going, well, he's there. He's only over there. this is gonna this is gonna be great yeah in amongst the other four photos of my day right and so and i love taking photos of people i don't say no so i used to say no when i was with my kids more but but now they have a bit a bit a bit better understanding of it and i don't need to hold their hands all the time so that was my my wife was like you cannot give your attention to someone else when they're that night so charlotte it's the road whatever so charlotte's things so So if I'm out with like, you know, my two eldest, it's always a lot easier now.

48:33And it's people, people are really great and cool and lovely. But I don't ever, ever in my, ever in my life go, I got all these people. They just want a photo. What can I say? I just go, no, no, no. This is, they didn't find me. They haven't been waiting for me. I just happened to be in the same Joe and the Juice as them. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, I might as well, you know. I love that. That's amazing. But no, I do love how conscious you were of that. And it's so fun because that mindset, that approach to success, that approach to fame makes everything just feel wonderful and beautiful.

49:17and it makes everything so, you know, in the sense of when I don't, I don't mean perfection. I mean, in the sense of it gives you a sense of joy in an interaction, removing the expectation and the weight that can come with it. Yeah. I also just think you have to just take it all with a bag of salt. Yeah. All of it. Everything. Yeah. Everything. Good, bad. Yeah. You know, if you just can take it with the same bag of salt. Yeah. and and distance yourself from it you can just sort of go well that's over there yeah that's happening over there and but but i'm but what's really how i'm here yeah and here are my friends and my fan all those things and just and also just being so aware of like yeah how lucky you are yeah how lucky you are and if you lose sense of that and i understand when people do by the way and i have you know other points in in my career and in my life and i don't i'm not walking around like this every day like i have all those same things right so this it's not like i'm i'm sort of floating around like i'm really really not and a lot of this really is predicated on just how much sleep i get yeah that's true for all of us like that is it you know what i've been on this supplement recently i was talking to my so i'm very into you know biohacking and health and all the rest of it and so i was i've been testing this supplement i've been having for the last 30 days and it's it's like boosted my mitochondria so much that i can't get to sleep i have so much energy and i was telling i was telling my doctor i was like hey i really want to sleep like i enjoy sleep i'm someone i'm not someone who sacrifices sleep i enjoy sleep sleep and i haven't been able i haven't really been able to sleep because of this one supplement that's anything to do with that also jet lag and the time difference i think there's a bit of that but i've been here for like 30 days now so i'm like it should have gone in after a week or two but i agree with you coming from la to london is the harshest jet lag right because yeah you almost never really get used to it oh it's really rough and so it could be that but i feel like yeah sleep is we're so rarely i mean i think there i'm saying rarely talk about we probably talk about it more now than we ever have in the last 40 years but like sleep is this extraordinary gift and i think i'm probably more aware of it now because i've got a 12 year old who is who seems to think that sleep is some sort of punishment do you know what i mean like he views sleep as like why would you do this to me and like dude i don't want to be awake right now you know and and uh it's something like in um in alan de botten's new book yes please uh which i just i bought for you as a gift which i think it's called a therapeutic journey a therapeutic journey which i bought for you is i don't know if you want to plug other people's books.

52:26No, please. No, I - It's not as good as How to Live Like a Munt. I'm joking. Alan Debutton and The School of Life. I'm a big fan. Genius. Fantastic. Genius. Very big fan. And he's got a section in that book where he talks about sleep and he says, when you've got a newborn baby, when you've got a newborn baby, you are very, your only intention is to put this child into a routine and make sure that they sleep at the right time for the right amount of time. So therefore you feed it the right food to make sure it's the right, we have to, because if you don't get the right sleep, they are going to be awful tomorrow.

53:02And then at some point, we just decide, well, I don't need to do that. That's only for a baby. I can sit with my phone at midnight, just looking at a stream of 30 second videos It was to then carry on to not sleep and imagine that I'm going to be okay tomorrow. And I find that sleep is just like this gift. Oh, tell me about it. And the better sleep I have, without question, in every facet of my life, I'm better. Yeah. Like, I'm really thinking about, you don't drink, right? No, no, no, I haven't. So how long have you not drunk? I would say, how old am I? Like maybe 18 years or something. Right.

53:57But did you ever, were you, right. Okay. Not in alcohol. I was never in alcohol. But I drank socially, enjoyed it, had fun, loved drinking games. Like used to hang out with the lads and like, yeah. So you're about where I am. So I really, really, I very rarely drink at home. I never really get in and go, I'm going to have a glass of wine or a gin and tonic. But if I go out and if I'm out, I'm like, I love the feeling of being three and a half drinks in. Between three and six, I am, look at Raj's face. He knows what I'm talking about. I am, I feel it in my knees and I love it, right? And now as I've got older, I'm just really, I'm going to really try to just stop doing that.

54:49like with no great declaration i you know you know i am so yeah i just am really really going to try not to do that because my friend a good friend of mine my friend jez i spoke to him about it and i was like how did you just manage to just did you just stop doing this and he said something to me and i think you'll really like this he said i he said i started asking myself and i do think this changes post probably like 37 38 it starts to change in your body and he said i started to ask myself how how much of tomorrow do i want to borrow all i'm doing now by drinking is borrowing from tomorrow wow right it's like a it's it's like you're going to a cash point yeah you're going to a cash point and you're going i'm going to withdraw three hours from tomorrow that i will be useless and then probably if i just borrow three hours around about noon or one i'll start to feel okay yeah so i'm borrowing from tomorrow wow and that and how many hours do you want to borrow and sometimes you borrow a day yeah and then the only way you think you can rescue that days to go let's have another one you know yeah and uh i thought that was a really amazing way of looking at it and so my my intention is is to really try and and not do that i just want to try try and just be healthier i don't even sort of think about weight loss anymore i've done that so many times in my life just made so many like decisions just right this is it i'm not going to go on and why don't you change that because that isn't working why don't you just only try and do what is healthy and see how that impacts your yes frame yes you know yeah yeah yeah no i i like that approach i mean you know i think it's natural when when we're recording this it's like new year's resolutions and start of the year and all that kind of stuff and i think all of us know that about 80 of us drop off by the end of january by february we're not practicing this new year's resolution this massive commitment we made and it's almost because we go from this huge extreme from being indulgent in december to trying to be hyper intentional in january yeah and trying to go from one extreme to the other and none of us can hack that it doesn't work well a friend of mine said a really good thing to me my friend simon said to me he said you need to stop going on a diet because my weight has gone up and down you know i can i can see it in in too many videos on youtube like where I was up where I was down I used to have like three sets of suits Lauren Shapiro who was our wardrobe uh designer on the show who I am now saying as I said it out loud would have hated hearing her name on on your podcast uh and I my time with her I used to just love so much because like I said so much of the day would be a lot of people and then it would just be me and her choosing suits and choosing what I'm going to wear and we'd chat about the day and you know we've had moments where we cracking up laughing.

58:08We have other days where one of us is really down and it would just be this little precious moment in this very small walk-in closet that was off my, off my office where all the suits were. And my time with the, those are the things I really miss. That's the stuff I really, really miss. And she very, very subtly, and we never talked about it. We never, ever talked about it, but I knew what she did. and i was grateful was she basically started organizing my suits into like really fat fat and always looking good you could see and she would just you always look good she no but she would just very very in the in just and i would go and then we just became a thing where i'd be like i think we're you know particularly if we came off a hiatus or go away and just okay i think we're gonna be and she's like and we'd never really speak about it but my friend my friend said my friend simon said you need to stop going on a diet i said what do you mean said you gotta stop you've got to stop going on a diet he said because going on a diet is like going on a holiday you are going to return you're going to come back wow He said, if you go on a diet, what you're saying is this is short term.

59:28He said, you need to just go, this is how I live now. That's good. And this is it. That's not going, I don't eat any bread. No, no. In moderation, it's probably good for you to eat certain types of bread. But that's it. and you're going to don't just stop this thing of being like oh guys i'm not i'm on a diet yeah and he was like and stop broadcasting yeah saying it just stop saying it just go this is what i'm going to do i'm going to try and exercise like this i'm going to try and walk like i'm trying to do and just be like no no i'm gonna i'm gonna eat this and don't don't be like well i want to be down 20 pounds in 35 days like because you've done that yeah yeah and you know how that plays out don't go on something just change something that's good I like that yeah on a diet on a holiday that's good that's strong you've got some wise friends James I do there's a lot of good there's a lot of great advice are these friends for like life are these friends recently some of my friends Simon I've known probably probably about nine years and then I have yeah I have like friends who I've known for 35 years you know what I mean like what's it taking to keep those because I find like I've been talking to a lot of my male friends about this recently and this idea of, you know, do we have, do you have a friend that you could call in the middle of the night and you know they would pick up, they would turn up, they would be there.

1:00:56Because if you have one of those friends, that's pretty rare and pretty incredible, especially as men I find sometimes. It's almost harder to have those vulnerable relationships, but you seem to be having a lot of open, vulnerable, healthy conversations with men in your life. But I think it's easier now. I think it's easier now than it used to be. I think, I hope, we're going to move into a generation of men. And I think you and your show is responsible for that. I think lots of, I think just the ability to just be like, I'm struggling is a thing which I think for a very long time, men were conditioned to that that was weak.

1:01:35And actually it's almost certainly the bravest thing you can do. it is it is a tremendous act of bravery to say i'm not doing too great at the minute and as soon as those words leave your mouth i reckon 20 of those things have gone and and i'm very i'm very very fortunate i just have a lot of i love a lot of friends that i've known for a very long time and i and i love them and i tell them I love them and I I and i enjoy the company of people so much you know i i just you know it's interesting you talk about who would call like my friend louis that i was just telling you about who we wrote that script together louis had a previous life where he used to he would go out sometimes for three days i don't think he'd mind me saying this he'd go out for days on end and i always always i mean i said to to jules when we met i said just so you know i've got this friend louis and he goes out for a long time like you know what london was like in those times in these very streets yes yes and i said if he calls me i always but i have to pick up i always pick up because i always used to think he might be in trouble this resulted in some of the funniest things i've ever heard right him calling me at two three four five in the morning resulted in some of the funniest things I've ever heard.

1:03:24And so that's what I'd say to anybody who doesn't pick up the phone to a friend in the night. It might not always be bad. It might be, he called me once. I think it's okay to tell you this. He called me once and I said, for half three in the morning, I said, hey man, are you okay? And he went, and he's drunk. And he went, I'm going to tell you something now and it's a fact. I went, what? He went, it's a fact. I went, sorry. What I'm about to tell you is a fact It is a fact of life And I would like to share it with you I said okay there's quarter four It is a fact James That I have never and will never See the Jersey Boys Goodbye And hung up the front That's brilliant I love that And I think friendship is, I think it's sort of everything, isn't it?

1:04:25Yeah. Like, it's, I cherish it so much. I also think, you know, with kids, it's really important for them to see you with friends. Yes. to not separate those things to to be to involve your friends with your children and your children with your friends because i'm really aware that like my son's 12 and and like he's right now like we just get on it's great we get on so well yeah so we get on so well it's i love it's beautiful and i'm so aware that that is about to change because that is just nature you know i took about a year ago before we moved before we moved back i took my son i can't even remember what happened he was kind of stroppy and he oh really you know stomped upstairs he's really not that kind of boy but he did and I I went upstairs and I sat in his room and I just went to him I said can I ask you some questions and he was quite taken aback because because he thought I was gonna go what was that about and I went can I ask you some questions and he went yeah I said do you think I love you and he went yeah I said do you think I would ever do anything to intentionally hurt or upset you he said no I said and do you think in the 11 years that you've been on earth do you think I've changed dramatically he went no I went well done you scored a hundred percent they are all the right answers i said and i'm telling you this because over the next few years there are going to be points you are going to think i don't love you you are going to think i am intentionally trying to hurt or upset you and you're going to think that I've changed and I need you to remember this that I haven't changed we haven't changed you've changed and you need to and you have to and you are going to go through immeasurable changes in your life and body and all we are trying to do me your mum your sisters and it's going to happen to them too are just trying to help you navigate these bumps that are going to come your way and these changes both mental and physical that are happening for you but i need you to know that i haven't changed i'm never trying to intentionally hurt or upset you and i love you i love you more than you'll ever know and he went

1:07:41I think we should have some sort of code word so I remember this and so we came up with we came up with some silly code word that I would just say to him like do you remember and he'd be like oh yeah you haven't changed I was like my hair hasn't changed dude I got the same hairstyle that I had when I was 18 years old you know and I and I refill that with friendship that they I'm so painfully, painfully aware that there's going to come a point where the influences that aren't me are going to become bigger on my children for a moment. And so if I can make sure that those other people that they look to are people who are aligned with how I feel, then it's going to be great.

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1:10:50And I remember you were, you were so wonderful, even in between the show where you're in between segments, like it's not live and you would come and chat to the audience, you'd shake people's hands. And then I remember you'd go and call your kids and you'd literally sit at the desk before in between and just like get the, because, and you'd tell us, you'd be like, guys, I'm just going to call my family because I'm going to say goodnight to my kids. And it was such a like, it was so amazing to see someone who's in the middle of everything you described so phenomenally earlier, but then be like, I just want to say goodnight to my kids because it's that late, right?

1:11:19However late it was at that time. I think kids were going back to bed at seven. Yeah, it was about seven o 'clock. Seven or whatever it may have been. And I remember you FaceTiming them and then we got to wave it. And I just remember how special that was. And I just think, you know, I've heard you say before that, you know, for so many years, your family was marching to the beat of your drum. Like they were there for you. They were just holding it together for you so that you could build and create. And I just think about moments like that that you were having with them. Immediately. I'm so worried that the show you came to was terrible.

1:11:50It's all I can think about. It was Mark Ruffalo. It was great. It was great. It was great. But like, that's really what really resulted in us moving back is the truth. You know, like my wife just walked to the beat of my drum. My family, you know, we're going to New York. We're going to LA. I'm going here. I'm going there. babe, I'm going to do this thing in Australia. You're good here with the kids. Do you know what I mean? Like, honestly, I genuinely feel, I get the feeling that you might be like this. I feel like I could live anywhere. Yeah. Anywhere. I could live anywhere because we're very fortunate that you're here now in London.

1:12:35You're going to go back. You're going to go to India. You're going to go to New York. You're going to go to LA. Like, what a privilege. I'm so aware that that hasn't been my wife's life for the last 12 years 13 14 years you know and so really our our decision to move back was like i was gonna stop the show regardless you know there was a there was a moment where i was gonna stop it a bit earlier and then it was done so beautifully my leaving of the show like me and my boss george just sat in my office and literally talked it out like this no agents no lawyers no nothing like i said i'd like to leave at this date he said is there any way i can get you to stay to this day i was like i can't stay to that day because we've got to resettle the kids have got like they have to start school in september you know and then at one point it was going to be may and then there was like i think there's golf and masters and all these and we literally just were like okay we'll end it then and that'll give us the the right gap and all of that came from me just saying to jules like i'll live anywhere where like where do you want to be where do you think it's best for us to be because i know she would never make a decision that isn't best for the kids.

1:14:05Forget me.

1:14:10And she was just like, I think it's time to go home. I was like, okay, that's it. And I'm so grateful that we did. Just in my family, before Christmas, we had a, my mum sings in a choir. It's not a church choir. It's just a choir with some of her friends. And we all went out to High Wycombe to watch her sing in this choir.

1:14:42I sat in this room in John Hamden Sports Hall or their, you know, theatre or just a school hall that we were in. I cried my eyes out. I cried. I couldn't stop crying because my mum was in this choir with like 40 other people singing Christmas songs and it was so pure. It was so pure. It was so the antithesis of what our life had been in Los Angeles. And my mum was in the corner of this choir, you know, And I just, she couldn't stop smiling. And I just thought, oh my God, this purity that's here. These are a group of women and men in there. I guess they range between 30 to 60 people. And I just was like, this is everything.

1:15:42I don't want to be anywhere else. This is, I only want to be here. And it was so weird. It's so weird the effect it has on me even now saying it. I can't understand it. I can't tell you why. I think it just felt in that minute like, oh, this is the sacrifice. This is why we made what you would perceive to be a great sacrifice. This is the reason. Something here that I would never see, I would never come back for, I would never be part of. And then my dad joined them with a few numbers playing the saxophone. And I just was like, oh, my God, this is worth everything. this is this is this is everything i need to feed me and my kids watching their grandma sing this song i was like how lucky are we to appreciate and have this experience yeah to have come back and everyone be healthy you know yeah for sure what does it take in that in the marriage for that communication for that even the fact that you know you're both asking each other questions you're both checking in with each other like that's not easy it's challenging yeah like what is that what has that taken like from both of you to to really be able to make those big decisions together it's taken me learning from my wife that's it that's it like Like she, I think, has always known and always figured out how to communicate, how to do this.

1:17:22And I think I've been terrible at it. I think I've been rubbish at it. Because I think I lived for a very long time an existence of just, nothing will move me from this train I'm on. This is it. Oh, you're hopping on? Great. But this is the thing. and actually you then realize that that isn't the case i mean we don't argue very much we really really try to talk in the day right to not make it the last thing we do even if you are going to bed with like what they yeah and it's more her than me and she's like well i'm gonna talk to you about that tomorrow you know what i mean but it's so much better than than going to bed going to sleep just don't go to sleep on an argument yeah that's the first thing and i think i learned quite probably halfway through our marriage that that actually if all you're doing and this is this is an almost impossible thing to do.

1:18:39But if you're at least trying to, you're pretty much there. As if you're going, well, if all you're trying to do is meet your partner's needs, then all yours in turn will be met. They just will. Like how many times do we hear, it's funny, we had a friend of ours, a friend of my wife's, they're friends of ours, but if we ever broke up, she'd get her. Oh man, now you've got me thinking about all our friends yeah oh divide it up yeah it's quite a fun game i think my wife's gonna take it's quite a fun game but uh it and uh and she was saying this a few years ago now she was like oh he just never does anything for me i never he never surprises me and takes me out for dinner he never says oh like oh i'm good you know buys a theater ticket he never says oh friday night me and you let's do this and i just went well when do you do it how often do you do that she went well i don't and i was like right well you have to see that that might be a yeah that that might be a thing i was like for all we know he's sat somewhere now going she never takes me out she never because let's go to the cinema and she was like oh and i was and i and that's it in its most base level i think that's probably the thing i've learned the most yeah i love hearing about your relationships and the way you talk about your relationships obviously this whole shift in your life is because of your relationships and so it's it's so wonderful to hear about it and you were you were giving me credit earlier for you know hopefully changing conversations around masculinity but i think you did that very much so as well with uh your bromance comic relief videos with David Beckham and I'd always appreciate those when they came out and I know you guys have a real bromance but but seeing it on screen was always a real treat uh whether you're doing the Calvin Klein ads together or whether you know or doing each other's nails or whatever it was it was it was it was so funny uh and you went to the premiere recently of his documentary which I thought was just yeah it's brilliant phenomenal I I read Bex's biography when autobiography when I was like 15 or something and it was life-changing i loved it and getting towards the dock was almost reliving it again i mean what a story what a story right just the whole thing it when i watched it it really really reminded me have you ever watched aaron sorkin's commencement speech at syracuse university i have not no so actually me saying you know when i get my driver's license my life will be like this he actually says that in that speech he he he talks about that and i think and that was the first time i realized that like oh that's what i have always done his commencement speech at syracuse university is brilliant okay as you can imagine it's just so brilliantly written and he delivers it it's exceptional it's my favorite thing to watch on on youtube is people's commencement addresses and his is particularly good and i would urge anybody to go and to go and look at it i i use it i quote it i it's it's fed into me you know and he says a brilliant line and it really came to the forefront of my mind watching the beckham documentary where he says the world doesn't care how many times you get knocked down so long as it's one less than the amount of times you get back up again and that's what i think the beckham doc is yeah it is a story of a man who just doesn't stop he just gets back up and he carries on and that's what it's about you could you could say it's about the first sportsman to become a global brand and icon you could talk about it's the first family to have become perhaps in britain outside of the royal family a family of intrigue and interest you could say it's a story about fame and sport it's not i think it's a story of someone who just kept going through adversity through challenges just got up and carried on and that's why i think it's resonated so much with people yeah because it's interesting i don't know if you found this but like it's interesting being British and watching it.

1:23:04Yes, yes. So then it's because people in America are like, I had no idea. Oh my God. Those football, those soccer fans, the way they were with him. And you're like, yeah, no, I know. Yeah, yeah. I remember the effigy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and then Greece. And that's where sport, though, can transcend everything. it's like it's it's why i think sport and music i think sports stars and musicians are i think their fame is so different to actors and performers and hosts and writers and i think their fame is something different because they give you moments they give you moments in like and i and really what i put those moments down to is they made you feel less alone that's actually what it is it's why our relationship with singers and art and recording artists is so personal because i was in this play called the history boys and it's written by alan bennett and there was a speech that richard griffiths used to deliver every night and he'd say the best moments in poetry are when you think a thought or a feeling is particular to you and then suddenly someone who is long dead you may will never meet no he says someone who you will never meet perhaps even long dead has written down the very thing you're feeling and it's like a hand has reached out and taken yours and it says to you you're not you're not on your own you're not on your own there's a great bit in a john lennon documentary where there's a guy saying to john lennon my that song you wrote but it's you know that that was about me it's about me that's how i am and john lennon's going they're just songs they're just songs it isn't that and he's going no but it is you wrote that about me because you can't know how i felt and so i think you don't suddenly you feel very alone you hear something and you realize you're not and then i think sport when David Beckham curled that free kick in the top corner, which when we qualified for the World Cup, it did not matter.

1:25:25Tory, conservative, Republican, Democrat, left, right, all the stuff, the divisions, everything suddenly. Yeah! And you're hugging people you don't know, you've never met and you're brought together and you're not alone anymore. and that's where I think sport and music is such a powerful thing in our lives which you don't feel when you watch a film you can watch a film or a TV show and go oh yeah that was amazing even if it moved you hugely that connection isn't the same I don't think that's why you gave him an ugly statue of himself for all of that that was the best I've watched that a million times that day man that was so much fun that was just i just you know because pranks they're the worst thing to film they're awful because they could just go wrong at any point they could go wrong one notice of a camera and hundreds of thousands of dollars gone yeah and my god that day just worked out in the best way it was oh it's so good if anyone's not seen it it's so good like if if If you watch the doc and you love David Beckham and you love what James does, you have to go and see it.

1:26:44It's just, you made the ugliest statue. Well, I had the idea. One of the best looking men. Well, I had the idea because do you remember the real Ronaldo one? Yeah. Do you remember that? So then it was like, I remember going into Ben's office and going, because I think if they hadn't done that with Ronaldo in real life, I don't think David would have believed it. Right, right. Yeah. But it was because it happened in real life with Cristiano Ronaldo that we were like oh hang on we could do this i never thought it would work as well as it did yeah and credit i have to say to the to the actors in that sketch i mean just just brilliant yeah perfect yeah yeah manchester city those that was brilliant it's amazing it's amazing it's amazing walk me through that what you just said now that you're in that space six months you're reflecting figuring it out we're waiting for that next balloon we've let the other balloon go what does James Corden's creative process stillness waiting for the idea building an idea look like what does that look like where does that where does inspiration strike where does it come from where do you seek it when you've let go of something without knowing what's next what I'm really trying to do now is not rush anything i spent a long time squeezing so many things in that actually now i i just sort of think well don't force an idea to be the whatever it is that you might, you know, write or do.

1:28:26But then at the same time, I think what I have to really be conscious of now is to not be too afraid, to not be too scared to do anything. Because I think I've been so enjoying this feeling of not being on TV every day and putting out content on, whether it's youtube or you know social i'm so aware of how much was just being pushed out all the time and that can come with so much stuff totally it's good to sit and wait but then don't be scared to do it don't be scared of the the failure of it i i've only took a screen grab I think it's the guy who's the new CEO of Vans Shoes. Yes, yes. I think.

1:29:20Okay. We used to work at Logitech. And it says here, I've just got the screen grab, which ran for a decade, which he ran for a decade. And he penned a Dr. Seuss-like poem titled The Secret to Success, Avoid It. it reads in part success makes you fearful of losing your place of gambling with stature of losing your face and it is there is an element of that which i feel of like well there's a very very very real chance that you do something and it's shit you know and all the greats have had that they've all done that oh my god but i think that's why i was so keen to even in this period to make this this podcast called this life of mine to like go well no i i know i know what this is like this this idea of this podcasting is an idea i had when i was 16 and i wrote it out wow oh i love that i wrote it out and it was called planet lovely that's a name now it's called planet lovely because do you remember there used to be a tv show on TV on BBC 2 when we were growing up called Room 101.

1:30:35Yeah of course. So Room 101 was a show where people would take things they hated in life and they would put them into Room 101 and they'd be gone forever. It was a really funny show. It was a brilliant show and premise. And I was like 16. I was like well this is great. Wouldn't it be brilliant to make a show which is just people talking about things that they love and things that are really significant in their life and i wrote this like thing yeah this planet lovely it's not called planet lovely anymore i came to the decision that that's a not great title but i was like why don't we just have people talk about yeah things that are significant in their life whether it's a film uh a place a person a memory a possession a song and there and and the real the you know i really really wanted to do it so i was like oh can i create something in a completely different medium that feels almost the antithesis of what the late show was it's it's completely different it's calm and it's quiet and it's soft and it's people talking about things that they love or that were moments in their life and like some of the stuff that we've heard has just been great so i've really loved yeah creativity i love the creativity of just i don't you know like we're gonna put this on sirius xm and hopefully people find it and hopefully it'll be just a piece of joy it'll be a warm hug on a sunday afternoon and that would be a lovely thing to put out into the world but that's a sort of uh gestation period of 30 years i don't think i should do that again yeah but i do think what i'd really love to do is try and write one more thing yeah i'd love to try and write one more thing i'd love to write again with ruth jones who i wrote gavin and stacy with i i love her so much she is and has been a a a constant in my life as a friend and you want to talk about a long friendship you know and so i'd love to try and write something else with her i don't know what that'll be i don't even know if we'll ever before do it i don't know but you know we we do we do have chats about yeah maybe this is a thing you know yeah so that that's what i'd really love to do yeah it's just have you listened to bradley cooper talk about making my story yeah i did yeah he really where he really just made a decision to give himself over entirely for three years to that project to just go well what does it feel like actually to not move from one thing to the next to be to here they're doing this doing that what is it what does it feel like to just give myself over in every way to the point where i imagine a lot of people around him on that set we're earning more financially but like as a as a as a challenge to give himself over to him in the most beautiful way i think is it's so inspiring to watch and i don't know if i've ever done that i don't i know i haven't done that i never like that on that level but like i don't think i've ever completely just given myself over to something and seen it through from inception to pushing it on the water and letting other people decide whether it's good or not and seeing who i am the other side of it like that's i think that would be a really good thing to to do like i might go to i might go there's this i just found this like seven weekend course at the film school in beaconsfield or seven i don't know how many days i can't i don't know i might be wrong but i like i think oh well maybe i'll maybe i'll do that i wouldn't mind doing some acting classes i didn't i just wouldn't mind just going well can i i wonder if there's one more thing yeah and if there isn't how lucky was i yeah you know but i really feel like i might be getting to a spot where i might have something to say yeah james you are you're very unique and uh extremely extremely thoughtful and conscious and so honest and genuine it's it's been such a treat talking to you honestly like genuinely just sitting with you and i know that i'm listening to an actual stream of consciousness more than curated answers and you know it's it's really powerful it's been really really special one i want to thank you for giving me this space holding this space and trusting me with it it's i mean what i mean it's a yeah it's a real thrill to uh to sit and chat with you it's it's it's it's great it's it's a lovely thing you've created here it's brilliant it's really brilliant what you're doing i'm so uh it's strange i don't know if you feel this but i feel like there's a strange thing with like brits that go to america because it's only like there's only a handful of us who know how hard it is and how vast that is so like when i look at i look at your stuff and i see the things that you're putting out and like i think i walked past like a huge billboard of you the other week and i was like and i don't know we'd never met but we have friends in common and i was like yeah i was like i was like go on boy because yeah not when i get to work yet this is great i was like you're from from wood green wood green yeah you're from wood green look at him i'm very proud of you with no reason to be no mate i i appreciate it and uh you know offline today and online you've given me a lot of mentorship and coaching that i'll take on and I'll practice in my life honestly though you've left me with some really thoughtful pieces of insight but we end every show with the final five and these are the fast five which are answered in one word to one sentence maximum of course and so and I'll ruin that rule every time because you give such wonderful answers but we'll try we'll start there we'll start there so James these are your fast five first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received to ask yourself is this of my concern right you're gonna break it already but i really think that phrase is one of the most important things you can hang on to is to just go there's there's a great power in being able to say that's none of my concern it's more polite than saying i don't care it's more truthful than saying it's nothing to do with me because sometimes it will be to do with you but is it of your concern do you need to engage with it you just go i'm sorry what was that someone say something think about it oh that's none of my concern and carry on i love that super powerful okay question number two what is the worst piece of advice you've ever heard or received oh geez oh god it's weird you know i think just do it right yeah the nike the nike if you're in america and the nike if you're in england uh britain the i think just do it is a brilliant slogan right i think it's one of the most powerful slogans in the world and what makes it so powerful is that is the full stop is the period just do it right just do it great but that can really have other connotations.

1:38:48So I would say, I would say, don't just do it. Ask whether you want to do it. Yeah. Do you really want to do it? Yeah. And then do it. I love how you just went up against the greatest slogan of all time. I do think it's a masterpiece. Yeah. I just sometimes think, yeah, because it's like, you know, I would say like, you know, crystal meth. Don't just do it. Don't just do it. Yeah. Really don't just do it. Yeah, I love it. Now the new one, when we're going to walk across the night store in England, it's going to be, do you really want to do it? Ask yourself, seriously, do you really want to do it?

1:39:24And if the answer's yes, just do it. I love it. I love it. I'm looking forward to seeing that billboard with you on it. It's not as snappy. I don't know if it will really take off. Question number three, how would you define your current purpose? I think my current purpose is to let it be and accept whatever it is. And that's not work. That's life. Accept all of it. Don't get caught up in what you thought something should be. just accept what it is and realize how incredibly amazing it is to just be alive brilliant question number four what does it feel like when tom cruise says to you your life is more valuable than his feels like a lie Jay

1:40:30yeah it feels like a lie and I think I knew that at the time but you believed it he I mean man he could say anything and I'll believe him you know anything at all he like the guy is just exceptional oh my god amazing yeah special fifth and final question which we ask to every guest who's ever been on the show if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow what would it be i think the law should be for every minute you spend on social media that when you come off the app you're not allowed back on for that many minutes so if you go on for an hour you're locked out for an hour if you're on for two minutes you're locked out for two minutes and i believe that should be the absolute law i don't prescribe this notion that these things should be banned i think it's insane to think that i just think that actually we regulate the speed on the road we regulate uh what age you are when you can vote what age you are when you can get married have a child drink do a degree drink alcohol all these things and actually i think one regulation would be that you know yeah you could you could spend if you need to spend seven hours on it the second it's dormant for a minute you're locked out for seven hours and i think people would be i think it would be great i think it would be brilliant that is genius that's my that's my genius we've never had anything like that on the show that is i pitched it once to to i was at some conference thing interviewing quite a prominent sort of Silicon Valley type you know CEO and I pitched this as an idea in the room and it did not go down well they did not respond as well as you know they were like why would we ever do that we are monetizing all of their time we want all of their time James we don't want some of their time we want to steal it all I'm the opposite I'm thinking how do we make that happen like what that's brilliant I think it's a really interesting thing to play with because again it's not I'm on a diet I'm on a detox I'm on a it's not you know going back to me it's not going this is awful I'm not going to be on it for seven days I think all of these things all of these things social media like you know the way people the way that you know the new thing where we talk about AI and it's like of course it's terrifying it's also going to be miraculous and brilliant so nothing's nothing is all bad nothing is all good no one is all bad no one is all good it's impossible but what you can do is regulate these things in a sense and if that was just the we would all accept it we'd all accept it and i'm sure someone somewhere will find a hack that means you can't but on the whole people would just go along with it and they'll be like i can't open i'll open it in a minute yeah and then they would stop and look up and realize that actually maybe maybe out here can nourish me more than it does in there it's very hard to leave in there when it's always there james you're world class uh this life of mine is available right now wherever you listen to podcasts uh serious right it's serious xm yeah serious xm and so i hope you guys subscribe follow uh and look out for an episode i'm gonna get to jump on the podcast too so i can't wait really really looking forward to that great and uh again thank you so much james this is It's absolutely privileged.

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