Jay and His Wife Radhi: 3 Simple Ways to Get Over Your Biggest Fear From 2023 & Reset Your Intentions with Purpose for Next Year

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2:23That's C-A-L-M dot com forward slash J-A-Y for 40 % off. Calm your mind, change your life. Join Radhi and I for a special on-purpose episode today with BMW. Radhi and I love taking road trips together and today we get to take you on a drive in the all-electric BMW iX. First ever episode in a car together. I know, have fun. We love going on road trips and I thought today we'd just do a little spin. Good little chats. Yeah. Find a nice lookout point, enjoy the sunset. You know, you know I'm a romantic, hopeless romantic. You've got questions next to you. Amazing. The team chose these questions. Let's dive in.

3:07What is something you would ask my opinion of? I would ask your opinion of what's good for my health. Like I'm like, okay, I want a dessert. What should I eat that's healthy? I would ask your feedback on, I've been doing this workout. I'm not sure I'm feeling good for me or bad for me. Like, how should I change it up? I would ask for your opinion of, I want to feel like this in the morning or this in the night. Or I've got a headache. What should I do that's natural and a remedy that's going to help straight away? My gut's not feeling so well. What's a change I could make that would make me feel better?

3:43You know, I think I ask your opinion of me sometimes as a person. Like I find it really reassuring and it means the world to me when I know that you love me and you appreciate me and that you value me. I think that means a lot to me because I really value your opinion because I think that you are an amazing person. And I think that you have a really good moral character and are a very honest, genuine person. And so when you think good things of me, I think that if I have a choice or a decision I'm making, or if I'm sharing something or writing something or thinking about something, I always like getting your opinion because I feel that if I've checked it through with you, then it will be authentic and deep.

4:20Oh, thanks. Those are like a good amount of stuff. There's more. There's so much more I'd ask your opinion. I would ask you for advice on people. Like if I've got some sort of discrepancy with people or I'm feeling a certain way about someone, and I know you'll give me a really honest opinion about both sides. Like you're someone who doesn't really take sides about things, which I really appreciate. You see it as the actual situation versus who's involved. I'll ask you about some of my fashion things, even though sometimes we don't see eye to eye. I'll get your opinion, because you may not take it all the time, but I will still get the opinion.

4:52Got it. I would ask you about every time I need any motivation or I'm feeling like I'm lacking in trying to get through my day or figure out what I should do next. you're so good at figuring out step by step of turning something that feels so big into manageable steps and achievable things. So I appreciate that, that's really great for me because I feel like I always make things really big in my mind and you really help to break it down. You're like actually let's strip it all back and this is actually what you need to do. I would ask your opinion about our work stuff Like it's just such a beast in terms of work and constantly reminding me to go back to a deeper intention.

5:35And I think that's what's so important. It's less about you're obviously so good at what you do, but even deeper than that, I feel like the motivation and the intention behind it is what you always remind me of. And so I definitely ask your opinion on whether something feels right or wrong, because I think you're always quite aligned with intention. There's just a few that come to mind. Thanks so much. I really appreciate that. What is something you wouldn't ask my opinion of? I think what I avoid now asking your opinion of sometimes is my fashion choices. For sure, we definitely differ on that.

6:07Because I think I've become quite adventurous. You have. And I quite enjoy pushing the boundaries, trying new silhouettes and shapes. And to me, it's all about, I feel like I get to express myself. For self-expression, yeah. I feel like creatively I also get to push my own limits when I'm like, oh, that's what I thought worked and now I'm able to open my mind up to a new shape, a new colour, a new space and I enjoy that, not just in fashion but in all areas of life and I think I get scared sometimes because I do also want you to think I look cool but obviously some of the stuff I try sometimes is pretty out there.

6:42Yeah, and I want to be honest but I still think you should do everything. Like for me, it's more you should do whatever makes you feel happy which is why I stop laughing. that you want to do but then I'm not going to tell you I like something if I don't. Totally, totally. Which I appreciate. So the no asking is probably the best route to go. Because I'm using so much of my confidence to pull it off, that then if I ask your opinion, then you don't like it. It's like, that's really hard because I already know. It's already had to push me out of my confidence. But I always say, I don't like it, but you should wear what you like.

7:14You should wear what you feel comfortable in. You should wear what makes you happy. Because if you don't feel comfortable or happy in what you're wearing, then it doesn't matter who likes it. It really makes no difference. so I think it should be a personal expression I think it's so cool that you express yourself in that way and I think it's cool that you feel free to do that I believe like you have to have different people in your life for different things and I recommend everyone does this activity where you write down every need you have in your life you match that to a person in your life and if you have a gap often what ends up happening is you expect that of your partner or you expect that of your sibling or you expect that of your parent rather than going, well, let me be proactive and take responsibility for finding the person that solves this gap.

8:02So let's say you're like, oh, I don't have someone to go roller skating with, for example, because I know you love roller skating. I do. It's like, okay, well, let me go and find that person because I'm horrific at roller skating and it's an acquired taste, right? And so it's a specific interest that other people may not be talented or skilled at. Just like, I like playing football and you don't. And so I think finding that person is really important. You're using, you know what I really like about this car? Yeah. It does this, you can use hand gestures to do things. But for what? So you're moving your hands around because you're an expressive talker but you're basically, it does everything from like, you can use, which is kind of cool because you don't have to press buttons.

8:41Yeah, yeah. But it does it to change songs and stuff, see? But because you're so expressive it's doing things without you even knowing. Right. So, tone it down. Yeah, so, So, yeah, what was your thing that you would... That I wouldn't come ask your opinion of? Be honest. I know you're good with, like, solutions, so if I don't want a solution and I just want a vent, I'm going to... That's so good. Probably won't come to you. That's so good. I'll probably... Oh, but I want you to feel comfortable. No, no, not like that. I'm just half-joking. But, yeah, I know that sometimes if I don't want a solution, I just want to, like...

9:09I know you can always tell me that, you know that? Yeah, no, I know. You can always come to me and say, look, I don't want a solution. Totally. Well, that's what I'm going to ask your opinion on. I probably wouldn't ask your opinion about food. Definitely not. I like sometimes asking other people to pick for me, but then you don't enjoy doing that either. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, I think that's a good selection, really. What is there in your life do you think that you have a need that you haven't found the person yet? Like, what is it that you would think you'd need on a weekly, monthly basis in your life?

9:39And you're like, you know what, I don't have that friend yet. Or, like, I haven't built that relationship. I haven't proactively figured that out. I have friends to work out with. Yeah. I have friends that I can call just a pastime with. I have friends to have meaningful conversations with. I have friends to do spiritual activities with. Not necessarily as much here as I do in London, but still. Yeah, that's for me as well. I have my mum for a lot of stuff. She ticks a lot of boxes. You tick a lot of boxes. My friends, I don't know. That's good then. No, but that's a complete life. That's good.

10:11I feel like my sister ticks a lot of boxes for me. No, but that's good. that's a good place to be in. My niece and nephew for some fun and silly convos. I've been looking for a competitive FIFA friend. Oh yeah, you have. I need a competitive FIFA friend. Like someone who really gets me to become better. Maybe, you know, I miss having like a friend that just comes in like sits and does nothing with me. I like having friends like that sometimes. Cool. We just exist together. Maybe take naps together. Maybe just like watch something but don't have to talk together. Right, got it. Yeah. Like a lot is said but just like nothing is actually said.

10:43Got it. I like friends like that. Next question. Oh, and a friend who really likes watching reality TV show because that's my little secret indulgent pleasure thing where I just like switching off. And I haven't quite found a friend who likes sitting and binge watching reality TV. If we had to switch roles for a day, what's the first thing you'd do as me? Meditate and work out. Those are the two non-negotiables in Radhi's life. I will be late for everything. Ten years. But I will not be late for a workout. Workout and meditation. She's always there. Yeah. It's amazing. It's really impressive. Physically there, sometimes not mentally.

11:20It's impressive though. Like I think it takes a lot of dedication to have a non-negotiable. Yeah. And I think it's amazing that your non-negotiable habits are so important because they set you up for the rest of the day. They really do. And it's like if you compromised on those two things, could you imagine what life would be like? No, I think I just really struggle going through the day without it. And I think what's really amazing is that you having those non-negotiables has inspired me to have similar non-negotiables, especially with working out, in a way that I don't think I would have had if someone forced me to, if someone preached to me to do it, if someone made me do it.

11:54Like when I see you dedicated every single day to your workout, whether it's a weekday, whether it's a weekend, whether it's two workouts a day, I look at that and go, okay, got it. Like, that's a really great discipline. Yeah, it's nice having things that you really appreciate in your life that you don't feel like you need breaks from. I feel like they're few and far between because it doesn't ever seem like you're working. It's just like part of your being. And it's the person that you are on screen, off screen, with friends, with family. Like, I don't see a difference in that because that is just what you absolutely love doing.

12:27It's like your full nature to be that. and so those non-negotiables come because you just feel and see the deep impact that it has on you and then you kind of can't like you just know that I just know I'm not going to have a great day even if it's not crazy workouts even if it's just a walk or movement it's just so important and I always see movement as mind movement body movement both equally so important and I think meditation is great mind movement and walking or workouts is great body movement but both of them help with your emotional well-being, your physical well-being, your communication, just gets things flowing.

13:05Yeah, there's an amazing Zen teacher that says what movement does for your body, mindfulness does for your mind, or meditation does for your mind. So true. I love that. What was the question, though? If it switched roles for a day, what was the first thing you'd do as me? Yes, you didn't answer mine. As you, I would go on a Facebook Live. Facebook? Or like an Instagram Live, whatever, and I would fully start acting out. Like just things you wouldn't say, things you wouldn't do. Yeah, this is more like Freaky Friday. That's the point. Yeah, I would dress crazy and I would... Oh, you know what I do?

13:39I would get people to just realise how wacky and fun you are because sometimes people don't see that. Got it. You know what? You'd go into work and I'd be like, you know what? Today, guys, we're not going to work today. We're all just going to sit around, cook something, have a little chat. I want to answer that question back for you because that's a fun one go on then yeah so beautiful here look at this it's amazing unbelievable I love these lookout points in LA gorgeous they're really special so nice they're really special just to open up the mind and I love how you can just pull up and find a spot yeah really take it all in it's really so beautiful it is it's so nice okay go on ask the question for me then wait what would I do as you so I like your answer for me so if I woke up as you Freaky Friday what would I do I think I'd go do I'd test out all the things.

14:24I think you have so much talent. I think you have just so much potential. I think you're one of the most entertaining people in the world. Not singing. Like dancing. Not dancing. Everything apart from singing and dancing. Like sleeping. Yeah, you're good at sleeping. I'm great at singing. Everything apart from singing and dancing. And I would literally just... That's what I would do. I would just go and do everything that I think I know you have the hidden potential for. That's fine. Because you're just... You're so talented and you're so gifted. I can't wait to see you host a TV show. I can't wait to see you write more books I can't wait to see you I'll let you write a book for me I would do that as you but I just see you like travelling across the world studying cultures teaching that culture passing it on yeah that would be really fun through TV through film through movies you could act you could do whatever you wanted like you're so talented so I'd try and do all of those things on a hard day what is the thing you will do to make each other start laughing immediately that's a good question I'll start doing my Indian accent or dancing or something.

15:21Dancing. You, I still remember that video. Do you remember? I don't know. Do the baking. Do the baking. Do the baking. Yeah, I do remember. It was so good. Like one day, this is before Radhi ever made content and people were unaware. She randomly started doing this dance and I filmed it for fun. And I was like, you have to post this because it is just pure joy. And you posted it and I remember everyone loving it too. And it was just like, yeah, you can literally burst out into dance or make a funny face, you can make me laugh very easily. Very easily. If I was trying to make you laugh, I'd put on an outfit I love.

15:57I would... I wouldn't laugh at it. I would try and help you cook. That makes you laugh. I would... What else would I do to make you laugh? I mean, you're really good at finding funny TikToks. You are. Wow, that's my little skill. No, you do, though. You find really good quality funny TikToks. Oh, you know what you do sometimes? When you're, like, gassing yourself up, that makes me laugh a lot. To make you laugh, I do that. You get it, Banner. Next question. Do you have any fun memories when it comes to driving? Oh, moments spent with family, friends, driving off to university. I do. Go on. I have such fun memories in cars with my dad.

16:35I feel like when he was dropping me to university or even now when he's dropping me to the airport, there are really special times where I feel like it gives space to just open up and he'll just share stories about his youth that I didn't know about. We'll just talk about random things and I'll just find so much out about him and he's usually quite a quiet person. And so it feels like the car journeys are when things are changing. Even when we go back to where his family lives in Norwich, it's like a two and a half hour, three hour drive. And I always think along the way, he'll be like, this is where this happened, this is where this happened.

17:07Or yeah, there's always little moments where he'll just suddenly start reminiscing in journeys. And I think that because you're going on a journey, your mind kind of goes back to journeys in your life. and yeah definitely enjoyed that and then also with my grandma because I drive her and her friends around sometimes to like take them to different places so imagine like four 90 year old women in the car that are just laughing and hanging out and so I love doing uber service for them that's fun and singing along singing along with my nephew in the car that is a good one that's always fun and we've done so many fun road trips as well yeah I just I love being out and about on the road Videos of you and Arjun singing in the car.

17:48They're so fun. They're really cute. I love a good karaoke moment in the car. Yeah, he's like singing his heart out. Singing his heart out to Adele. I think for me, I actually love car time as a space for reflection. I don't know what it is about cars for me. You do that a lot. You don't play music. I don't. I drive in silence a lot of the time. I'll listen to my own thoughts. I'll reprogram them. I'll take a moment to... I find sometimes when I'm in the car, I talk to God the most. I don't know what it is about that, but I find it a really easy way to talk out loud and just listen and pray and reflect.

18:24Like I do that a lot if I'm driving alone. That's really beautiful. I think my favourite memories of road trips also include all of our road trips, like our weekend trips. So fun. Whenever we're like doing a playlist, when we're, you know, just hanging out, having conversations like this. I always find that when we find like our... Even when we do road trips with friends and stuff, I feel like we play good games, cracking jokes. It was so fun. It was so fun. It was so fun. And then I think when I was young, I remember because my parents would drive from London to Europe. So we wouldn't get a plane.

18:53We'd drive. We'd get the ferry from Dover to Calais and then drive through Europe. And I always found that to be so incredible because we'd go through. You'd get to see like every country in a really intimate way. Like now when you fly, it's almost like you don't get to see the roads and the streets and everything. Parking shouldn't slow you down. Park Whiz gives every driver a shortcut. Book ahead, save up to 50 % and skip the hassle of circling the block. Park smarter, park faster. Park Whiz. Download the Park Whiz app today and save every time you park. I'm Radhi Dvlukia and I'm the host of a Really Good Cry podcast and I have the opportunity to talk to Logan Ury.

19:32Logan is a dating expert, a behavioral scientist, a best-selling author and someone who is seriously changing the way we think about love and dating. In our conversation, we talk all things dating, that Logan has studied and tested from what to put in your dating profile, the pictures you should and shouldn't be using to the conversation starters that actually work. And the huge no-nos that people probably do not realize are reducing their chances of success on apps. Whether you're single, dating, or just trying to be more intentional in love, Logan offers the kind of clarity we all need. Relationships do require work and the best relationships are people who really work on them together.

20:08They're so focused on if I find the perfect person, then I'll have the perfect relationship instead of understanding really that they can choose someone great and then build that relationship together. They don't need to keep searching for perfection. Listen to A Really Good Cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's AZ Fudd. You may know me as a gold medalist. You may know me as an NCAA national champion and recent most outstanding player. You may even know me as a people's princess, but now you're also gonna know me as your favorite host Every week on my new podcast, Fudd Around and Find Out, I'll give you an inside look at everything happening in my crazy life as I try to balance it all.

20:49From my travels across the globe to preparing for another run at the Natty with my Yukon Huskies to just trying to make it to my midterms on time. You'll get the inside scoop on everything. I'll be talking to some special guests about pop culture, basketball, and what it's like to be a professional athlete on and off the court. You'll even get to have some fun with the Fudd family. So if you follow me on social media or watch me on TV, you may think you know me. But this show is the only place where you can really fud around and find out. Listen to Fud Around and Find Out, a production of iHeart Women's Sports in partnership with Unanimous Media, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

21:27Where do you drive to when you miss home when you're in L.A.? When I really miss home, it's weird because what I really miss is, this is why I'm really on, But seeing Indian people and being around Indians and seeing like grandmas with saris on. And I feel like in L.A., you don't, we see people, but I would say I see a lot less brown people than I do when I'm in London on a day-to-day basis. So as you know, especially during festivals or like Indian festivals, I want to go to Artesia. Cerritos. Cerritos. And eat Indian food, buy Indian clothes. buy Indian clothes, be like in a place where there are just so many people that feel like my community.

22:08And there's something about that that makes me feel nostalgic. So sometimes I'll go to an Indian, like this veggie Indian restaurant that I really like here. Usually my missing home is like missing my mum's food because when I'm feeling sad or I feel like I need comfort, it's usually my mum's, specifically my mum's food that brings me that comfort. And if I can't get that, then I have to go see some old Indian women in sari so it feels like I'm around my grandma. Yeah, I love that. So yeah, that's probably, if I think about it, it's either that or I'll sit just by myself and eat ice cream and watch a Bollywood movie or something.

22:44Nice. I think for me, I drive to places I can make new memories. So if I miss home, I'm always thinking, well, what's a new cool, fun thing I can do to create and build a new memory? I think it's very easy for me sometimes to think if I miss something that I have to recreate it or sometimes we think if we miss something you have to remake it. For me I just like to think okay well what opportunity do I have or what possibility do I have to just build something fresh. So I think that's what I do. What is the thing you were most scared of going into this past year that you ended up doing? Literally a month before my world tour, I was so close to pulling out because I was really worried about whether I'd be able to stay healthy and fit traveling to all those countries.

23:33And I was concerned about my well-being. I was thinking about work. I was thinking about all the things I had to put on hold. It was like I wasn't going to see you for months. I wasn't going to see most of my team for months. I wasn't going to be able to do so much of the work that I'm used to doing every single year. we had to tape meditations in advance we had to tape podcasts in advance there was so much work and like a month before I was like okay I don't think I can go on tour and the thing that kept me going was Nicole and Annie had worked so hard on putting the tour together and the team had worked so hard on putting the tour together and I was like I can't let them down like if I cancel it it's gonna let down all these people who've worked so hard putting it all together and I can't just pull out and I never told them that till afterwards and I think I think they were relieved but it was just one of those things of just like when you're doing something new what I've learned is it's so natural to feel scared and it's so natural to feel fear and what I've realized is before I used to think you have to wait to get over the fear to do something or you have to wait till you don't feel scared so you can do something so you spend all your energy going okay well how do I take care of my fear how do i control my fear how do i move past what i'm scared of and the truth is you have to be fearful and do it anyway like you're going to be scared anyway so why not accept that you're scared accept that you're fearful create a plan and then do it like when i went on my tour i remember after finishing the u.s leg i was exhausted and then when i went international we started in australia again there were some crazy highs and lows on tour when it came to like health and wellness, fitness.

25:13We were literally in a city for a max one and a half days. Yeah. And so for me... Yeah, that was intense. For me, I mean, you came with me for a week and it was exhausting. Why am I getting a massage in my chair? Guys, I just found out that there is a massage feature in this car and I just activated it. While I was answering my question. Yeah. While I was opening my heart. For some relaxation. This is what Radhi's like. So this is how Radhi makes me laugh. I'll be having a really vulnerable, deep, open, heartfelt conversation, and then you'll do something like this. Can you feel it? Yes, I can feel it.