Jelly Roll: 5 Powerful Ways to Overcome Guilt and Shame & How to Finally Forgive Yourself

23:45I mean, I've obviously dramatically changed. You know, I was 15, dude. You know what I mean? I couldn't grow facial hair at all. You know what? I didn't hardly hit puberty. I still had my hey voice when I did that robbery. So I've thought about that a ton. And they're definitely on my list, my men's list. I just haven't made it that far down yet. What do you think you would say? I would just ask them to understand. I would ask them to just, one, forgive me because there's no excuse. And that the first accountability is no matter how old I was, I had no business taking from anybody. Just this entitlement that I had, the world owed me enough that I could come take your stuff.

24:22Just what a horrible, horrible way to look at life and people. Just what a horrible way to interact with the earth. And I would apologize for that first. Just flat, just one, accountability is what I'm so big on now, Jazz. Just looking at them now and going, man, I f***ed up. And then I would hope they would give me a little grace as I explained to them that I was 15. And I was just trying to be, I don't know what I was even trying to be when I look back now. I don't know what my thought, I don't have, this is how I know I was 15. because when I try to make logic of it, I can't. There was no logic to what I did.

24:55It made absolutely no sense. And I learned so much from it and the way that I interact with people. And I hope that they would see that I've made it my life's mission to change and to change people because that's what I'm representing the most and what I do with my, this whole thing for me is, I think people cheer for me, Jay, because they see a little bit of me in them or they see their cousin or their, I'm a family member, they relate. and I speak for an unspoken group of people, you know, and I hope they would know that, you know, money doesn't create character, it reveals it, right? If I was an asshole, what a great time to start.

25:32You know what I mean? What a great time to show the world. You know, I think that I'm trying to diligently prove myself that I've not only changed, I took the platform serious and that it's making me change more every day. You know, the responsibility that God's given me and I would hope they would forgive me. That's beautiful, man. Even sitting with you for a few moments and the few interactions we have had, it's so evident to me that you've done so much work. Like, it's so clear. It's so clear. And I think you remind everyone of the potential we do want to see in humanity. Like, it's like that's what we want to see.

26:06Like, when we see someone struggling, we want to see them have that transformation. And I think what you were saying that when people see you, I think they're reminded that, oh, it's possible. Oh, it's real. It can be genuine. Like it's so genuine to you. Parking shouldn't slow you down. ParkWiz gives every driver a shortcut. Book ahead. Save up to 50 percent and skip the hassle of circling the block. Park smarter. Park faster. ParkWiz. Download the ParkWiz app today and save every time you park. This week on a very special episode of Health Discovered, We're taking a closer look at a condition that affects hundreds of thousands of men each year, prostate cancer.

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27:56Subscribe today and you can get the amazing Meaningful Beauty System for just$49.95. That includes our introductory five-piece system, free gifts, free shipping, and a 60-day money-back guarantee. All of that available at MeaningfulBeauty.com. When you're talking about it to me, I feel the vibration of just the growth and transformation you chose. What I'm fascinated by is how did it affect you at the time to make a mistake in your early years? How long did that end up putting you in jail for at that time? that's the time i got charged as an adult so i still have that felony on my record to this day for that crime that was i did a few years i mean i came home right i made bond right before i was 17 so i did two and a half years and then i ended up having to go back and do another few years for the actual case when it settled out what does that experience do to a young person walk us through that because i feel like you're now looking back at it when you're you know late 30s but when you're looking back at it, it's a different perspective to like when you're actually 15, in jail for two and a half years, going back in and out cases.

29:05What does that do to the mental health of a teenager? Well, here's the perspective, Jay. Imagine us as adults now, me and you go have a conversation. I go, hey man, let's go spend three months in the mountains together, not use our phones, just fellowship. You would look at it like, great idea, right? You're like, it's just three months, it'll be fun. I'm in. I think this will be great. We'll bring our wives. We'll invite other people. Let's actually make a thing of this. Now, because us, because we know in our age that three months is, but the hardest we're working, three months, I might need the break we need, you know?

29:39When you're 15 years old, three months is your life. It's an entire semester of school. You're now going to be a second year freshman, or you're going to have to make up these whole classes next summer because of three months, you know? So imagine getting thrown into that vortex for three years. I missed high school. I missed any kind of normal socializing, any kind of what would be growing up, what would be developing in those areas. And I was developing in a room, and I did a crime that deserved this, by the way, but I was developing in a room with stone white walls, a steel commode and a steel bunk in a six by eight cell, six foot wide, eight inches long.

30:21By the time I was an adult, I had to sleep with my legs curled. Couldn't stretch all the way out, you know? I'll never forget being 17, realizing I grew enough that I couldn't fit in the bunk no more lengthwise. So you go through these things as a juvenile, and do you ever see Blow? No. Oh, you got to watch the movie Blow. No, I haven't. It's incredible. It's a crazy movie. It's about a guy named George Young that was a huge, Johnny Depp played him, huge Johnny Depp fan. Oh, cool. Love Johnny Depp, yeah. But he was a big weed dealer, And he finally got some federal time for moving, you know, hundreds of thousands of pounds of weed.

30:55And the joke he says in the movie is, I went to prison with a bachelor's degree in marijuana. I left with a Ph.D. in cocaine. Wow. Because he came home and ended up being the biggest cocaine dealer in American history. So that's the truth, though. That's how that impacts us, Jay. When we're in these situations, our judicial system is set that when you put the worst of the worst in a room together and give them nothing to do but talk, argue, and fight, you're only making smarter criminals. They're only when there's no outlets because there was very few outlets for us, even as a juvenile. We didn't have no outlets.

31:33I didn't get my diploma. I didn't get my GED until I was 25 in adult jail. We didn't have real classes. We didn't have a real rec yard, an exercise program, a mentorship program at the juvenile. We didn't have anything. I mean, they treated us like lifers, you know, orange jumpsuits. And these were heinous crimes we were committing. And I understand that I am huge on discipline. Like I'm one of the few people that even in my justice reform doesn't anywhere do I believe people shouldn't be incarcerated. I think that I've learned some of the greatest things in my life and that it's changed my life.

32:05but what changed my life the most in those facilities was later when I started getting resources in them. When I started having education units where I could get my GED and they had a Christian program that I could go to called Jericho, breaking the walls down. And these were the things that I started learning these fundamentals and they had AA and NA. And I started being, getting access to different kinds of books and literature and these things. But all through my juvenile years, Jay, none of that. You're just sitting in there, you know, there's kids that went to juvenile at my age and came home and couldn't, never could read and write.

32:36Wow. Yeah, no, I appreciate that perspective. And it comes back to what you keep referring to is this principle of accountability. And I think accountability gets a bit of a hard rap right now. Like it's a difficult reputation that accountability has, because talk to me about the difference between accountability and self-sabotage or self-blame, right? There's a difference. Huge. And I can tell you know it because from the way you're using the word. But I think people get scared of accountability because they think, well, if I think it's all my fault, then maybe I shouldn't be here. Or maybe I don't matter or I'm not enough.

33:11How do you see the difference? There was a poem called The Guy in the Glass. Have you ever read this poem? No. It's an incredible poem. I used to have it memorized, but I read it in jail and I hung it up on my jail mirror. And until about two years ago, it was on the mirror in my bedroom every day. My whole, as long as me and my wife have been together, it's something I live by. The guy, it pretty much says that you can be king for a day and get pats on the back in life as you pass, but it's only heartache and tears if you fooled the guy in the glass. That was the moment where now, if there's a triggering thing that happens in my life, I used to, the old mentality was, who did this?

33:51First thing I do now is I go straight to the mirror and go, what could Jason have done differently? What could I have really done differently to avoid this situation? Because once I learned that there's accountability, this old head once told me, if I'm running up a flight of steps and I slip on a step and fall, whose fault is it? Is it mine or the steps? I go, well, it's mine. He goes, what if there's a crack in the steps? I go, it's the steps. He goes, you think? And I go, well, for sure. That's the variable, right? If there's a crack in the steps, it's the steps' fault. He said, the steps didn't have a choice to be there.

34:24You had a choice to run up them. man, those are the moments where you're like, oh, so, and then if I can assess that I did everything right, that's how I avoid self-blame, real self-assessment, honest self-assessment to go, because a lot of times we just don't honestly assess ourselves. Something I learned through AA that I love so much is going home and having these, like, you assess your day, you write, what did you do? What do they call it? Like a moral inventory, right? And having these real moments and then you get freedom because sometimes you find out it ain't you. And then you're like, you know what?

34:56I actually did pretty good by this. Then you can start handling your business and then going down the line. All right, well, where did this fall apart? You know what I mean? And then you can start checking your boxes. But I've learned that even in the end, it'll always come back to you. Because even if it's somebody you hired to do a job and they failed to do the job, I still hired that person to do the job. That was still my own going. And that just changed everything. I had to do it that way though, Jay, cause I was a chronic, I was the Spider-Man meme. You know what I mean? All the time, dude, it was everybody, you know what I'm saying?

35:25Ah, it's him, it's him, it's him. It was never me. You know what I'm saying? And it turns out it was pretty much always me. But I love that you can laugh at that and say that, right? I think that's the, I think that's the beauty of it. When you start realizing that even when you got it wrong it wasn't this like deep dark pain it was just like we're young we're stupid we think about things we we're kind of we're kind of trained to believe the problem is not us right and when we do make it us we don't need to hold it as like this heavy dark weight it's like oh wait let me just relieve myself of this stupid idea i have that it's not me and maybe if it is me i love that poem guy guy in the glass you said call the guy on the glass i'm gonna check it out it's big i got a question and depending on that how do you think that how do you encourage people to get over that because that's a real thing you're saying is to be like when you do assess at you there is a heavy heavy feeling for me i just started finding freedom in it to be like like you said it was more i started looking at less like damn i'm enough to more like oh i can let that go i blew that what I started taking this mentality of I don't lose, I learn.

36:37You know what I mean? Yeah, well said. Yeah, like we don't, this team, we might screw stuff up, but we don't just, we learned something. It was all valuable. Yeah. What do you think? What do you think that process is? There's two things that come to mind. One of them is in the monk tradition, our higher self is called the monk mind and our lower self is called the monkey mind. And so whenever you're acting in that way, it's compared to a monkey. So if you see a monkey, and obviously you're not going to see a monkey in most places, but at least in India, when you see a monkey, monkeys are crazy.

37:10They're silly. They're jumping from branch to branch. They're swinging around. They're making funny sounds. They're playful. They'll show you their teeth to scare you a little bit. They'll steal your credit card and trade it back for a banana. They're silly. And the reason why the mind is compared to a monkey is because it often acts like that. It's silly. It's unreasonable. It's awkward. It does funny things. And so when you look at the mind that way, you're like, oh, it's just a monkey. Like, it's okay. Like, it doesn't have to be this serious, heavy thing. You recognize that the mind's nature, the mind's propensity is to be that way.

37:47And then you go, wait a minute, I wouldn't judge a monkey if it did that. So let me not judge myself. Let me free myself of that guilt and shame. And I think the bigger thing there is, guilt blocks growth. Guilt doesn't make you want to grow. It might make you start to grow, but it won't help you grow long-term if you keep guilting yourself. Shame is not going to help you shift. If you keep shaming yourself, you're not suddenly going to shift. It may shift you a tiny degree, but it's not going to cause a transformation. And so guilt, shame, and judgment don't help you grow, shift, and transform.

38:21And I think so many of us have to realize that it's just not a useful emotion sustainably it can be useful in the interim to like get you off your backside and get you going but it's not a where i see you today it's not like love and grace and compassion like these things are sustainable these things are infinite whereas shame guilt and judgment are finite reasons for motivation they they run out i don't know if that makes sense no 100 yeah so That's how I see it. Yeah, that's how I see it. And that's big to touch on, especially with shame. Because that shame spiral for me has been my biggest demon.

39:02Really? I mean, it's the monster in front of me all the time. It's the monster that I battle the most with my obesity, which to me is one of the things that I'm working on, but it's clearly where I have the most work to do. My nan would always say you can't quit everything at once. I was with my dad one time. My nan was at a nursing home. And she was so funny, man. And we came in and first thing my dad tells her is, Jason, quit smoking cigarettes. Old baby Jason, quit smoking cigarettes. She said, good. I said, Grandma, I ain't going to lie, man. It was hard as hell. And my dad goes, hey, you can tell he didn't quit cussing.

39:38She looks up and goes, well, you can't quit everything at once, can you? I like that. I like that. So I'm finding that getting out of that shame is I'm focusing on emotional sobriety. So I'm really focusing on that. You know what I mean? And it was just in the last few years, I did enough work to even learn what emotions were. When I seen an emotion chart for the first time, because you ever heard, you know, people ask you, how do you feel? And I just like, it was always one of two things. It was always just angry. You know what I'm saying? For so many years, every emotion that came to me was anger.

40:11But I didn't know that it wasn't really anger. It was, sometimes I was disappointed. Sometimes I was sad, you know? Sometimes I was guilt. I felt guilt. Sometimes I was in a shame spiral, but I didn't know that. So to me, it was like, they were like, well, you know what? Tell me how you feel right now. But like, it was just always angry, you know? And then I worked my way through that too, learning more about the emotions and trying to anchor down and being honest about how I feel. Now, where I still struggle, Jay, is I still struggle when I get stuck ruminating. You know what I mean? I still, my time of clearing my head and getting a logical thought sometimes still takes a little longer than I want it to because I can accidentally get stuck.

40:54Miles, you see Miles, my buddy from Onsite, he always calls it, I don't remember, he calls it rumination lane or rumination road, but I'll just, instead of making a decision, you know, it's freedom or grace here and you can ruminate here and I'm still the guy that'll just pace here for three or four days just making myself madder about something until I finally let it go. One of the things you're reminding me of is this idea that like, one of the most addictive things in the world is actually shame. Shame is such an addiction. We get addicted to it and it just becomes our rhetoric, our habit, our go-to place.

41:29It's a go-to comfort and it's a go-to pain. And we know it's both, but we kind of hold onto it like an addiction and we get caught in that spiral. I think that's real. But it sounds like you're taking a lot of steps in your health journey. You were just saying to me, drinking like two gallons of water a day like you know what's crazy though i'm just having a fan moment right now where you just looked at me and said the kind of shit i watch you say on this podcast that inspires me but it was to me you know what i'm saying that was so cool thank you i was just sitting here like a little giddy kid like i see this all the time this is cool that i'm on the other side of this now anytime thank you brother man please i think the weight for me right now is it's the mountain in front of me and I'm taking it.

42:11I'm learning, you know, I'm being very diligent with it and I'm taking it serious. I'm drinking a bunch of water. I'm cold plunging. I'm eating right. I'm doing good. I just, uh, I just have to fight that little, that little pirate on my shoulder. That's, you know, them late nights and just, I'm, I'm a food addict, man. I've always, I probably never said it this honestly, but this is the podcast to be that real about is that I have just had a bad relationship with food from birth. I've never had a good relationship with food. I've never had a good example around me of it. You know what I mean?

42:41And I've always said that I believe obesity is directly connected to mental health. I know how easy it is for people to go, just quit eating so much. Just work out. It's so easy. You know what I'm saying? I just, I don't, I wish I looked at food that way, but I understand it from the perspective of an addict because I know what addiction is. You know what I mean? And how I struggle with food is the same way I struggled with codeine. It's the same way I struggled with cocaine. Like couldn't, you know, even getting it away from me. It took years to be able to be around people doing cocaine and just not be doing it, you know, just to know what's happening in my environment and be okay with that.

43:21So I'm having to take that same approach with food, to be honest. And I'm not ashamed to say it, that I'm having to make those dramatics of decisions where I'm like, I just, I don't need nothing to eat in my green room. You know what I mean? I need to change my entire relationship with how I look at food. But a lot of that changed with me, how I looked at myself. You know what I mean? A lot of that started changing with me, loving me and really starting to love me because I went through this thing forever where I did all this work and started loving people and hugging people. And I still laid down and hated me.

43:53You know, and I still deal with days of this. I still deal with days. It's real. I'm honest enough to be on your podcast today to tell you that I still get stuck here sometimes. And it's scary, man. It's really scary. I scare myself. But I've got a good support system around me. And I will say that all that cliche stuff is real. When they're like, go walk out in the sun, drink water. You remember you hear it as a fat person. I'm like, you, it's not that easy. This is hard. And then I started walking around in the sun and drinking water. I'm like, dude, I feel so much better. You know what I mean, it's crazy.

44:25I feel like it sounds like, though, that because you've been through other addiction journeys, there's a part of you that is inspired and knows you can do it. Yes. Right? It feels like you've been able to break so many habits and so many addictions at this point that it feels like you have an inner belief that you can. Would you agree with that? I believe it in my spirit. I see it, yeah. In my soul, I believe it. And I also believe it's because God's purpose for me is so much bigger than even what I'm doing now. And I almost feel like I heard the spirit, my spirit tell me that you're holding you back from what's really for you.

45:02You know, your physical is what's holding you back for what we have for you. And I want to shed that skin. I want to shed it bad. But I also want to do it to inspire kids the same way I'm inspired. I never thought I would be able to talk to you in real life. I never got into this thinking I would be a mental health advocate or that I would be a, you know, this wasn't, I just wrote songs about how I felt and how people around me felt and the brokenness that was in my life. And man, it's helped so many people, Jay. The messages, you get, you know, I think we could connect on that. The messages, because I've sent you messages of how I feel, of things that we actually are helping people.

45:43This is called On Purpose. Purpose is what changed my life. Shia LaBeouf did an interview one time where he said, I quit trying to be happy. I started being useful. I started trying to be useful. And I've lived by that quote ever since. It's like once I started prioritizing my purpose, it's funny how much life's just awesome. You know what I mean? When I was trying to make life awesome, it sucked. When I started just trying to be a man of purpose and just try to walk in my purpose and what I think God put me here for, it just opened up everything for me. It's been such a dynamic shift. Yeah. You said, I want to read this from you because it's from your own post.

46:18But this was to your wife. She said, happy anniversary. This is my best friend. Literally, people ask me what was the turning point in my career. And the answer is simple. I married my best friend, period. This woman changed my life. Four years ago on a drunken night in Las Vegas, my wife and I made a decision. That night during a Deftone show, I walked on stage during Yellow Wolf's performance. Thank you for this, brother. I'll always be grateful for that moment. we rushed the courthouse and got married at some random chapel i was a lost cause i was in the middle of custody battle i was broke living out of a van doing 200 shows a year for 200 a show i was addicted bruised used and barely breathing she came in and changed everything she made me whole she gave me purpose it was truly the turning point in my career and life i mean when i read that i was like you know you can't read that and not feel moved by that how was how are the people we choose to spend our life with a why are they so important and b how did she help you find your purpose like that word especially first of all it felt like somebody actually believed in me and i hadn't felt that in a while my father believed in my mother you know my but like outside of my little crew, she just prophesied it over me.

47:42I'll never forget the first time we hung out, she whispered in my ear. She said, I don't know what it is, but you're special. She was like, you're special. And I felt the same way about her. We just celebrated our eighth anniversary last week. Congratulations. Thank you, man. I'm talking to you about, I've done so many interviews and never talked about this. I was so insecure in my body for so many years that I found validation through women. And I thought that if I could pull pretty women, then I wasn't fat. You know what I mean? And it was just something else, you know. And because of that, I had a really, really bad relationship with women, multiple women all the time, many partners that I could get, living double, triple, quadruple lives, relationships with all these people.

48:26The first thing that happened was when I got with Bunny, it was something that just happened where I was immediately, I didn't want to talk to nobody. I just wanted to be with her. and somebody used to always tell me that anybody who's ever built an empire, it was a modern era. It was always a one woman man. You know what I mean? Because when you focus on one woman and one woman focuses on you and y 'all focus on building together, I've seen it with you and your wife. It's amazing what happens. So it's crazy, Jay, just what happened the day I just was like, this is all that matters. It's just me and you and building this thing together.

49:04And she came straight in. And now keep in mind, I'm fixing to get custody of a kid that I don't even have a place for them to live. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. Bunny comes right in and goes, look, I don't know if we're going to work or not, but I'll help you get custody of your daughter. Let's go get an apartment for you. I'll go stand in court beside you as a, you know, as a person of this. Like she, she put together this thing for me to get custody of. We call her our daughter now because she raises her as her own and she calls Bunny mama. We've had that little girl for eight years now.

49:30And she gave me purpose because I felt like our story was one that could help so many people. Two broken people that were able to kind of heal and then come together, not as healed as we probably should have been even. But then we were able to heal together and grow together and learn together. And just knowing I have somebody that really supports me, really encourages me and holds me accountable too. Bunny will, you know, I'm sure your wife's the same way. When them doors close, man, Bunny will get in my ass. Bunny will tell me what's really going on. She will check me. If I start egoing out a little bit or getting a little something, Bunny will be the first person to go, man, I don't know what's up with you, man.

50:08You know what I'm saying? She was the first woman, and I know people are going to say this ain't right, but she was the first woman I had a healthy amount of fear of. I've never been afraid of losing something before, ever. Never. I was always lived by the motto of heat. If you can't get rid of it in 30 seconds, it don't need to be in your life, you know? And she was the first one where I was like, I don't want to lose this. I don't want to blow this. I'm willing to do the work for this. I'm willing to get in there. Talking about doing work, this will be a cool podcast. Share this story. Me and my wife, I was learning about how trauma affects us in our children years.

50:44And about my wife was in a place where when she was growing up, she had a very abusive stepmother and a father that was detached. And she was grounded to her room a lot. So her room became her safe place. When I was growing up, I had a mother that never left her room. So for me, the room is a dark place. Right? It reminds me of a story about you and your wife, the dishes. Yeah. Remember the dishes story? You sit down, you do them after y 'all watch TV, she does them before TV? Yes, yes. Well, remember. Yeah. So it's like, this is a similar thing, but, you know, so imagine when she would shell up and life would be hard on her, she would back into the bedroom.

51:23What does that trigger for me, Jay? It's my mother. I got to go entertain my mom. What's wrong? Go to the room. I'm trying to hoist her out. But I think she needs to come out here to be better. But this is better for her. And you could imagine this is rubbing rocks together. We're starting fires all the time. and then as soon as we really did the work and I found out that about her man we do we argue we have a typical relationship argument once a year and it's almost always over the kid you know what I'm saying but um but it's like once I learned that now it's like when she goes to her room I'll walk in hey baby are you okay cool do you want to talk about something I want to talk cool I love you I'm downstairs call me if you need me because I know that's how she processes you know what I of things.

52:10And I learned, she's taught me so many things like that. Her patience with me, Jay. Man, I don't deserve that. I didn't earn that patience. That's just grace. She just gave that to me because she loves me. Very, very diligent. And she lets me be the wild horse I still am. As something else, every other woman still tried to tame this old wild Mustang. I got to run. You know what I'm saying? I'm programmed to go, Jay. Two or 300 days a year, I'm out of the house. It's just how I operate, you know, and she's the opposite. She's a homebody, prefers to be home. But she cheers for me, man. So yeah, that's my best friend, dude.

52:43I love that, man. It reminds, it definitely reminds me of me and my wife in so many ways as well. Like I talk about that example in my, in my second book, Eight Rules of Love. I talked about how just like there's love languages, there's fight styles. And so my fight style is venting. I want to talk about it. I want to fix it. I want to get to a solution by talking about it. Right. And my wife's fight style is hiding. She wants to go into a room. Right. Like yours. She don't want to talk about it. Yeah. And in the beginning of our marriage, I used to think she doesn't care about it as much as I do because I want to talk about it.

53:14That's because I care. Right. But what I didn't realize is her having that space, that was her caring. Right. So that she could come back with a solution, so that she could come back with the energy and the capacity for going to some resolution. Right. Whereas to me, it was like, oh, you don't care as much as I do. I'm standing right here ready to fix this and solve this and you just want to run away what does it take to have the humility to have your partner help you heal because I think it requires humility on both parts to A, allow someone to heal you and B, heal someone else without judging them and like you said, giving grace and space like how do you strike that balance especially as a man of putting your ego aside and allowing someone to come in with the medicine.

54:03I had to quit looking at the word help as an ego death and start looking at it as, I had to start looking at it as an empowerment almost. That's so good. You know, to just be like, hey, can I get some help? There's a book that I read when I was on site doing some therapy work. I'll always butcher the name and they should have changed the name because of this, by the way. But it's like, you probably read it. It's a children's book, but it's all drawn. It's like the horse, the mule, the donkey, and the fox, right? And this version of Winnie the Pooh, they could have done way better. They picked weird animals.

54:40That person should call me. I'll help them with the next book. But they had some really good stuff in it. That's a great book. But it goes to the horse, and it goes, what's the hardest thing you've ever had to do? And the horse goes, ask for help. I cried. I seen that illustration the first time sitting in that cabin. Of course, I was in a highly emotional place. I was doing some intensive therapy. But I just bawled because I was like, man, that's a core thing with me and my wife. We got to look at the word help as we're trying to make the word help sexy now. You know what I mean? Like instead of like this, oh, help, because that's how we're growing up.

55:12Like you don't ask for help. I'm trying to look at it like, oh, that's sexy. She asked me to help her with something. You know what I mean? You're like, yo, can I run something by you? That's like, man, I get goosebumps if she hits her. If I hit her with that or she hits me, it's like, oh, this is the good. We're growing. This is where we grow, baby. you know what I mean we call it the foxhole that's the biggest thing is that we started making it fun like let's get in the foxhole let's huddle up let's talk about this you know like making real decisions it's kind of where we started thriving so it went from being afraid to ask for help to like now it's like our thriving point like when we can really get in that foxhole and start trying to sharpen each other's skills it's really cool yeah that that putting your ego side's huge I wrote another chapter that was called um your partner is your guru and it was that idea that your partner's your teacher but your partner never makes you feel like they're your teacher and you never feel like you're the student right like there's learning there's growth without the other person kind of like pointing a finger at you making you like pointing out your mistakes in a negative way like my wife will call me up and call me out like you're saying but i know it's full of love full of love like i know it's to make me better i know it's because she actually cares about me, not the perception of me.

56:26And she doesn't want me to get carried away. But you have to trust that because as a man, it's so easy to have your ego rise above that and go, who are you to tell me? Or, you know, where's that coming from? Or you don't even see it. You don't know it. And so I love hearing how much you've been able to put that ego aside and truly allow it in. I think that's really inspiring. Oh, yeah. Well, the first step for me was just admitting I had an ego. Yeah. You know how hard that was? It was like, I used to, I was like, I thought I was the only dude on earth that didn't have an ego. I was like, I'm telling you, I'm the most eagoless dude ever.

57:00And I had such an ego, you know, and I still have to, have to fight that guy a lot. Yeah. I always joke with my management, but it's true is that I need an hour when I wake up before I deal with people to, I need to, I got to kill the bad half of me. Me and that guy go to war as soon as I wake up, because he's there, he's waiting for me. He's by the nightstand. You know what I mean? Be mad, be mad. because I used to just wake up angry, just woke up mad. And I fight that guy for an hour every morning we wrestle. You know, I feel like Jacob. Parking shouldn't slow you down. ParkWiz gives every driver a shortcut.

57:32Book ahead, save up to 50 % and skip the hassle of circling the block. Park smarter, park faster. ParkWiz. Download the ParkWiz app today and save every time you park. This week on a very special episode of Health Discovered, We're taking a closer look at a condition that affects hundreds of thousands of men each year, prostate cancer. I first found out about my cancer at the age of 45. Anything with cancer, you just think death sentence. In this episode, we'll explore the science behind detection, along with the practical steps men can take to protect their health. Listen to Health Discovered on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.

58:14Open your free iHeart app, search Health Discovered, and start listening.

58:44Meaningful Beauty. Confidence is beautiful. Learn more at MeaningfulBeauty.com. Like a hip every day, wrestling with God. You know what I'm saying? But it makes me, and you'll notice it because I'm a lesser, better version of me if I don't get that out. I come out and you can kind of still sense it on me. But that's all about that ego death, man. Yeah. But I started, I just replaced ego with love and compassion and started going, what would love say? because it's so funny how fast you separate what's love and what's not when you really think about it when you go if you really just bring everything back to like did I say that really out of love or was it a loving way I said it most of the time I say I blew that one you know I could have reframed that for sure it's uh hearing about your purpose through your wife as well there's um I mean I'm just going to read a few things that are happening right now because they're so beautiful save me is one of the most played songs at recovery centers I mean that how How does that, before I go on, how does that feel?

59:42Unbelievable, man. It's. One of the coolest experiences of my life is being able to especially catch people in that first 30 days or those first 10 or 15 days. Anytime we get to go back to a detox center and love on people and play songs for them, we go to prisons all the time and play and we go to homeless shelters. But you catch somebody on them first 10 days, man, because I know what them 10 days are, you know? And to know that that's the song getting people through that particular stretch, I couldn't, you know. It's like when they told me that Save Me is becoming the new Freebird in the South for funeral homes.

1:00:18Because, you know, Freebird, old Leonard Skinner's song has been like the famous funeral home in the South. and they said they get more requests for Save Me now. And that used to really bum me out and make me sad because I used to carry that. But then I started thinking about how much that's helping people grieve because how many songs have really helped me grieve. You know what I mean? Toby Keys, I'm going to miss that smile. I'm going to miss you, my friend. I mean, it got me through the death of my father. I listen to that song every day. So I know how music can do that, even though I'm leaving by Luke Combs.

1:00:45I think it's beautiful to hear that, to feel that your music's there. And then this one, too, when you performed for the Oregon prison mates, the inmates, it's the first time the prison has allowed live music in 20 years. I mean, how does that feel? That's cool. Stevie Ray Vaughan. So even cooler shoes to follow. For them to trust us enough to bring our message to a yard, that prison has the most lifers in Oregon. There's 12 prisons in Oregon that has the most lifers. I probably met 30, 40 men that day that were doing life. It was such a different perspective, Jay, because you're not, normally when you go into a jail, you're kind of trying to show that change is possible and that, you know, recidivism is, you know, you can bring down recidivism and go home and actually do something productive with your life.

1:01:31It's a whole different thing when you're looking at guys that aren't going home, you know, which made it even more special because then you're just spreading one thing, hope, just a little smile, baby, a little love. I just want to, all I'm looking for today is a smile because i know this is a place that not a lot of that not a lot of that happens you know i just want these guys rocking and it was chicken soup for the soul jay you should come with me one day i would you know i was just speaking to uh the gentleman outside i forgot his name miles yes and i i was telling him when i was reading about researching the work you're doing i would love to be alongside you in any way i can i think it's amazing we're gonna reach out we're setting up something big with a big prison uh we'll talk about law off camera but we can use all this but i'll tell you the exact one you'll be like oh but we do it i'd love to have you come i'd love to support in any way i think the work you're doing is spectacular when i was researching for this interview and reading about all the stuff you do i was like i couldn't believe it i was like this is this is exactly it i mean this is what's needed this is the most important work you could do right now so anywhere i can be helpful thank you i'm all in you just let me know i will call it's I'm putting feet on faith, baby.

1:02:37That's what we say. Yeah. You know, it's one thing to sit in these interviews and talk all that shit, but it's another one you got to get up and go do it. Absolutely. And as a musician, I make it a point to go do it. It's also so much easier what we do than what most people do because, you know, it's music, right? It just works anywhere all the time. You know what I mean? It's just super. It's like I love sometimes we'll go to these places we won't talk at all. We'll just go in and sing three or four songs just like a regular show. You know, we don't, it's just being present, man. Just seeing inspiration, inspiring these guys.

1:03:11It's such a dark place. Those places are, people are getting sexually assaulted every day in there. You know what I mean? It's, people do not truly understand how dark prison is. It is the scariest thing I've ever lived through. Any kind of incarceration. So you see them dudes out there smiling and nodding their head for a day and dancing, dude? man, I'd make you cry like a baby on the way out. Oh, man. Are there any memorable interactions you've had with any inmates that kind of stick out to you or any conversations that you have had that? Tons, but I'll start with the Oregon State Penitentiary, Jay.

1:03:46Man. So there was some guys that were working the prison. So they're the ones who set up the equipment that day. You know, they're the trustees is what they are. They're the people that they trust in this prison. So first moment, talking about ego death, I'm singing and I come off stage. I go, hey, I'd love to meet as many of y 'all as I can before I leave. So I go kind of stand over here and everybody on that yard formed a line to get an autograph from me. And I was like, what an ego death for these guys. Like, these are tough dudes. These are, you know, these are murderers. You know what I'm saying?

1:04:19That are standing in line to get one for their daughter or their wife. So you see the humanity in them. You know what I mean? And the, and the, and the gratefulness because they've been incarcerated so long that getting an extra snack at dinner is a big deal where to thank you, thank you, thank you. So it was like, but then after I meet, I meet 300 inmates, sign autographs, hug everybody, I touched everybody. It was just, it was emotionally, I come back and there's these 20 trustees, Jay, and they go, can we grab some pics? I was like, of course. So I'm taking pics with all of them. And the guy taking the picture has been in there for 39 years.

1:04:54He spent 30 something years on death row before they got rid of the death penalty in Oregon, completely in solitary. Now he's the camera guy for the prison. He's still incarcerated. But we're all taking these pictures. And at the end of it, they go, hey, can we take one with just the lifers? And I'm like, yeah, now these are the trustees. These are the best inmates in this prison. And when they said the lifers, I thought maybe it was two or three of them. I've been talking to these guys. Every one of them were the smartest, most talented. They were just awesome guys. 12 of the 20 were doing life, Jay.

1:05:25and I was so emotional in that moment, dog, because they were so full of life. They were so grateful I was there. And these dudes will never see the streets again. And we're taking a picture and I'm starting to cry like I am now. And I'm like, God, it's just, because they were just,

1:05:51I was hopeful that I was hopeful that some of these guys Are going home Because they're telling me their dreams Their wives Their kids You know Showing me pictures And I'm excited I'm thinking Oh these are the trustees At least some of these guys Have got a chance And it was just sad man but the good thing about humor is while we're taking the pictures i go damn is 12 of y 'all he said yeah i said well hell it would have been easier just tell the eight that wasn't doing life get out of the picture you know what i'm saying and the one good thing about prison is every one of them cried every one of them cried laughing i said uh and i right before i turned around left i said i'm gonna come back and do this again next year and they said we're not going anywhere and I was like, thank y 'all for making me laugh.

1:06:36But it was just such a moment because I had never even fully experienced that yet. I've been to a lot of prisons and a lot of jails, but I had never got to do the yard or do 300, 400 inmates. And I'd never got to really go into death row or go on to see this many people doing it. It's such a different perspective. You go to jail, I'm spreading hope. Like, hey, you're coming home. You can change. There's dudes that are never coming home, you know, never coming home. And, man, that just really, really, really f***ed with me a little bit. Absolutely. Sorry, I got emotional on here. No, man. I think you invited us into a world that we wouldn't have an understanding of, right?

1:07:12Like that isn't a daily experience. We're not getting to interact with what that feels like. And we can have all of our views and assumptions or whatever it may be, but I think through you, we're getting to have a human experience of what that looks like. I wanted everyone to know this. If you haven't heard Jelly Roll's congressional speech, I highly recommend it to everyone. I thought that was one of the most powerful things that I've seen you do. Every line was just so, what's the right word I'm looking for? It was just so clear. It was so powerful. It was so, it just grabbed my attention immediately.

1:07:53You said, there was one thing that just stood out to me. I had to write it down. you said that there's 190 people every day that die in the usa and you said that that was based on well i'll let you explain actually you explain the point because you went on to compare it to a 737 plane yeah and when i heard that i was like i'm gonna let you explain because it's so powerful but i want everyone to go listen to that speech please the idea that i said was could you imagine if there was a plane crashing every single day in the United States of America with 200 passengers on it, how many days would that happen before, as Americans, we completely lost it, canceled every flight, looked under every engine of every plane again, whatever.

1:08:43I mean, we would, you know, I also use the comparison sometimes that if there was 11 squirrels a day dying in Central Park unexplained. I bet that don't go four days before the EPA comes out there, shut Central Park down, and it's a national crisis. I bet 50 squirrels die before it is like, hold on, we've got to figure this out. But 190 humans, Jay, every single day are dying. Because of? Drugs. Yeah. Drug addiction and fentanyl. And the way we have looked at them previously as society is, well, that's their fault. That's their choice. They chose to be drug addicts. They should make their bed and lay in it.

1:09:22One, it's just such a not compassionate way to look at life and humans. It's just such a way to dehumanize people. And I think part of us dehumanizing people is why America has got put into all these separate boxes and so against each other. I say this, and I mean it. I went and spoke to Congress because I had a moment where I was like, maybe I should bring these statistics here because there's no way our federal government could know this is happening and not be doing nothing about it, right? I would like to believe in the betterment of the world, that they just don't know. Let me be the guy that goes and tells them, hey, maybe y 'all are missing what's really happening out here.

1:09:58Y 'all are so busy arguing with each other about stuff that people have been disagreeing about for 100 years anyways. What I know is, and I said this in a speech, and I really, really do hope y 'all go check it out. This is somebody's cousin. Jay, have you ever known somebody that's been addicted to drugs, like a heroin addiction, like a full-blown, like somebody close to you by chance? Yeah, close to a friend, yeah. If you've never experienced that, for the people watching that might not have, it's like seeing somebody you've known your whole life become a zombie. It's like watching somebody you've known your whole life become a completely different human.

1:10:33They talk different, act different. It's irrational. It makes no sense at all. You have no clue what drugs do to people if you've never really experienced that. Those are mostly the people who are quick to go, oh, they just shouldn't do them in the first place. It's like, man, you don't know what it was like when that young lady broke her back in that car accident and they started feeding her these extremely addictive pain pills to help with the pain that she couldn't shake herself out of. And then eventually, if you're doing 30, 20 lower tabs a day, it's cheaper to go get a gram of heroin. You know, this issue, these are humans.

1:11:08It's kind of like I try to talk about the inmates, man. Kids, they've done horrible things, but they're humans. and I want to humanize. What I wanted to do in that speech, Jay, was I wanted to humanize drug acts. I wanted people to remember that. And that's why I said to that panel, I said, it's some of y 'all right now sitting up here in this Senate that have family members that you're thinking of right this moment that are addicted to drugs. And you know what I'm telling is the truth. Does that person have to die before you walk up here and make a difference? That's all I want, man. And just back to practicing what we preach.

1:11:43And it's sad that we didn't learn nothing from, they said history is bound to repeat itself if we don't learn nothing from it. And I don't think anything could be more true if you watch what was the cocaine epidemic into the crack epidemic into the pill meal epidemic into what was the heroin epidemic that's now into the fentanyl epidemic. And it has done nothing but it's a snowball that's just getting bigger and bigger and less addressed. We got to do something about it, man. How did they receive it? What was the, what did you feel was their response? I felt genuine love in that room. I felt like they were very receptive.

1:12:24The bill got passed into law, which was a big, which was a huge, huge deal. Because that bill had got put up three or four times before it never got passed. It's huge. But what it did the most, Jay, was I'm walking the Grammy red carpet, and I will never say the names. But when I tell you A-list celebrities, we'll talk about a lot off camera, friends of ours, friends of mine now, probably been friends of yours, are dragging me to the side going, hey, I just want to tell you, I've never heard a song of yours. But I watched the five minutes and 37 seconds that you gave that speech to Congress and I cried because my son is seven years sober.

1:13:03And right then I was like, this is what God's purpose was for me, was for these kind of conversations to not be taboo no more. to be, these aren't conversations that are being had on Grammy red carpets. These aren't conversations being had at Clive Davis's party. And I'm creating this kind of vulnerability with people that they, that they'll walk up to me. And it wasn't even just celebrities, people that work there, security guys, hey man, what you did at Senate, man, thank you. I got a nephew. I got a niece. It showed me how it started putting faces to these 190 people a day. And once we started putting faces to them, I think things will change.

1:13:39It's my hope at least, you know. Yeah. No, I think that's what, whether it's you telling us the stories of the inmates or the congressional speech, I love that you said it in your own words that it's really humanizing these stories and these experiences of people that are happening all around us. And we either choose not to believe they exist, or we live in a blissful ignorance, or, you know, hide away from it all, or put it away into this area of society. And And I think it's harsh, but it's like until we have to deal with it face to face, we don't really deal with it. And so being aware of it, hearing about it in all of these spaces, opening up conversations.

1:14:18You're right. I mean, I hear it. I hear it about, I'm sure from this interview, I'm going to get so many calls and messages saying, oh, my God, I saw the clip of you and Jelly Roll. And Jelly Roll speaking about that made, you know, that's going to happen. Right. I hope so. And I think that's the beginning of the opposite snowball effect, the one you're talking about. of people having real conversations about it. And maybe that'll start helping. I mean, dude, getting into a rehabilitation center in America is so hard. Getting into a real rehab, the ones that are state-funded or federally funded are backed up for years.

1:14:48You can't afford the other ones. You know, I mean, it's a big problem to fix, but it's one of the ones I'm going to advocate for. I'm definitely going to spend my time and life pushing towards that because I know what drug addiction did to my family. Y 'all hear all this in the speech. You know, my daughter's a victim of drug addiction. I used to think drugs was a selfless crime, right? I used to think that it was like a nobody got harmed kind of crime. It was like this was a fair exchange. You need drugs. I have drugs. You have money. Here's the drugs for your money. It was just like I used to justify it.

1:15:23Like, it's no different than KFC selling that chicken that's killing people. You know, now you get an insight into how I used to think when we were talking about it earlier. And then when I came home from jail and my daughter was born and her mother was addicted to heroin and was completely out of her life. Now I every day look in the eyes of a victim of what drug dealing is and what drugs are. And I was a guy that sold drugs. I went to jail for selling drugs. I got caught with the same pain pills that lead to people doing heroin. I got caught with cocaine. I got caught with crack. I got caught with these, these, I was selling these same drugs.

1:15:59That's why I'm so passionate about it, Jay. That's why I tear up when we talk about drug addicts or prisoner inmates because I remember genuinely being the other side of that problem. The same guy, this has been so good for me, the same guy we talked about 40 minutes ago where I was like, that dude did not think logical at all. You know, thought I was better than KFC. I had more integrity than KFC. They're killing people and not talking about it. That was how lack of accountability I had in life. even when I'm selling heroin and I justified it by well so is KFC you know it's like ah come on now big fella yeah well I hope there's accountability there too as well right and I'm like yeah I think I think that does need to change too yeah there's stuff that happened there was this picture that I saw you spoke about your daughter just for a second this picture that I loved it brought so much joy to my heart.

1:16:55This one. Oh yeah. That's my much can do. It brought so much joy to my heart when I saw that. What's it been like to perform together, man? It's been so cool. Just to share anything in life together, but then to share what we both love. And I was the first, and I don't, I don't know. I think if I remember right, you were the first person in your family to kind of go into the space you're in. Yes. Nobody, we know, I don't come from a family of musicians. I come from of a family of the opposite. Nobody in my family can carry a tune in a bucket. We all, nobody has music theater. We sound like drunk alley cats together.

1:17:30It is nothing. So when my daughter started getting interested in the guitar and the piano, it was like, I didn't, I tried not to show her, but everything in me was just glowing. Same way I have a niece that plays the guitar. And I just was so excited when she picked it up. I was like, I think I might've been the inspiration that'll change this family. And that in three generations, we'll be a music family. Three generations from now, those kids will be born probably wanting to play instruments because everybody in the family did something, you know? And they'll link back one day and go, we always been a music family.

1:18:00And then somebody gets to go, no, actually you had a great, great grandfather that wrote a bunch of country songs. It was famous. That's beautiful. That's beautiful, man. It's like, uh, you, you getting to rewrite your family's history. Yes, sir. Breaking generational curses. Bunny and I were, that was our mission too, man. taking an ex-drug dealer convict and an ex-prostitute and showing people that you can really come from the sketchiest of past and completely change everything about it. Change everything about the way you look at life, how you interact with people. It's never too late to forgive.

1:18:35It's never too late to love. It's never too late in life anyways. Jay, I'll be 40. This shit didn't start working for me until I was 37. You know what I mean? You know how long I was throwing darts in the dark it's there had to have been groups of people around me that love me that just now i'm glad they didn't they were just scared to come go hey bubba maybe you know what i'm saying i don't know when's your birthday uh december december the fourth fourth yeah i'll be 40 december the fourth baby i love that yeah that speech you gave at the cmas last year i mean that just like you you like took us to church that's what it felt like when i saw that i was like i felt like i was at church thank you it's like a jelly roll show i gotta get you out to one there um And I used to, I have a natural love.

1:19:18I grew up in a Southern Baptist church, so I have a natural thing that happens whenever I speak. But one day I came off stage and somebody said, that was church tonight. That was church. This was a 200-person bar. And my wife goes, that was church. And I looked at her, and I was such a Southern Baptist still. I was like, I hadn't really forged my own true relationship with my higher power like I have at this time. And I was like, hey, that's where I'm from. That's sacrilegious. I don't want to call this church. I know some people. No, no, no, no, no, no. But watch, you're going to love where this goes.

1:19:47And she goes, this is the only church some of those people ever walk into. Jay, I changed it. Now it's church. I make it church. So you saying that, that's what I want people to feel. Because I have a room full of people every night that might be disconnected from any kind of spirituality, but they're all hurting. And this music has helped them in some way. And this can be church for them. You know what I'm saying? It's like, I want you to laugh. I want you to dance. I want you to cry, and I want you to leave inspired and feeling 10 pounds lighter. Yes. You know, some cries will put you to sleep, and some cries make you feel better.

1:20:23I want to make you feel better and cry, not to put you to sleep cry, you know? And that is it. And ever since then, we lean into it. We call it just the church, man. This is church. We say it on stage every night, brother. This is church. And once again, my wife, my purpose, reframed that for me in a way that I needed it. because she was like, why would you go away from what you naturally do? God naturally gave you a gift of evangelism, of the way that you speak, like this is church. Right then I was like, you're right, this is church. And ever since then it's been church, baby. Yeah. No, I love that.

1:21:00For me too, it's been like in our tradition, it's almost like you carry a temple in your heart, right? Like you carry God within your heart. and so a lot of people to me would also be like why are you going to this event and why are you in this like why are you going to this event and that event i'm like if usually when i go to these events someone will come up to me and start a spiritual god-centered healing conversation i'm like but if i don't show up in these places we're not going to have that conversation so that conversation heals me that conversation hopefully helps and supports someone else it's like I get to go as an ambassador for spirituality and get to just put in a little sprinkle of a reminder.

1:21:44And that to me feels like a hopeful, beautiful thing to do because you never know who's going to need that conversation, that interaction, that connection. It's not that I'm doing it. I don't have any of that power. But when we're being a vessel and we're being an instrument and we're happy to play that, play our role and play our part and just be there as a connector of worlds and be a portal. You know, I don't have any power or any, any of that, but the ability to just represent whatever that may be to the individual. I think to me, that's, that's how I see my role in these places. And it's, to me, I, I feel like that's what I needed.

1:22:24Yeah. Well, sometimes the messenger has to become the message. Yeah. Right. And you, your presence, Jay, sometimes you got to go places like, I think about us. I don't know how long it would have took for the universe to put us together had it not happened at a Clive Davis party. I know I've been wanting it to happen. And also equally, the last person I thought I was going to meet at a Clive Davis party was Jay Shetty. You know what I'm saying? So it was really cool for me to be like, because I'm an example of that, of you being somewhere where somebody might be like, what's he doing out at this party at one o 'clock in the morning?

1:22:57But it's like, you've helped me a ton and getting to see you lifted, just seeing you and hugging you lifted my spirit. It's like, um, I always call them them little, them little arrows that are showing you you're going the right way. And we ignore them so much in life. We miss them. And to me, you were an arrow. You were an arrow that night. You know what I mean? Uh, Tyler Childers was at my table. He's a country music artist. I love, I'd never met him. And he's a big fan. Him just saying that to me was like, that's an arrow. Parking shouldn't slow you down. ParkWiz gives every driver a shortcut.

1:23:24Book ahead, save up to 50 % and skip the hassle of circling the block. Park smarter, park faster, ParkWiz. Download the ParkWiz app today and save every time you park. This week on a very special episode of Health Discovered, we're taking a closer look at a condition that affects hundreds of thousands of men each year, prostate cancer. I first found out about my cancer at the age of 45. Anything with cancer, you just think death sentence. In this episode, we'll explore the science behind detection, along with the practical steps men can take to protect their health. Listen to Health Discovered on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.

1:24:07Open your free iHeart app, search Health Discovered, and start listening. Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford, and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty. Well, I don't know about you, but, like, I never liked being told, oh, wow, you look so good for your age. Like, why even bother saying that? Why don't you just say you look great at any age, every age? That's what Meaningful Beauty is all about. We create products that make you feel confident in your skin at the age you are now. Meaningful Beauty. Beautiful skin at every age. Learn more at MeaningfulBeauty.com.

1:24:47I'm going the right direction around here. You know what I'm saying? This is all right. I wasn't as lost as I thought. I'd be at a big LA party. You know what I'm saying? Oh, dude. Yeah, exactly. That's what I mean. Like that idea, it's a big LA party. And same for me. I was like, I'm watching this guy sing about God on stage. This is insane. You know, it was so special. And I think watching you just grow, I mean, this new album, I've picked out some of my favorite lyrics from, some of my favorite tracks from yours. There's this, oh, this one, Heart of Stone. Yes. There's one lyric that says, I've had enough of my demons, but angels only meet you where you are, and I'm in the dark.

1:25:22This is my favorite song on the album. I did not know that. That's what's so cool. And it's my favorite song because of the lyrics. I think these lyrics say the most. And this whole album, if they were like, lyrically, who do you stand for and what do you stand by on this album? Every song is great. Winning streak means a lot to me. But this record, man, that line that angels only meet you where you are and I'm in the dark. and it goes, at least for now, Lord, I ain't losing hope that somehow you could make a heart of gold from a heart of stone. And I love songs when you can read a song and it's impactful.

1:25:59That is, as a songwriter, Jay, that's it. That's the telltale because most of the time our message is in the melody. And if you don't have the melody there, it'll kind of be like, oh, that doesn't sound as cool as I thought it did when I just read it flat. But when I read Heart of Stone, it goes, dear Lord, can you hear me? um but uh dear lord can you hear me i'm falling out of grace it's running like the river filled with all of my mistakes my blood is getting heavy there's metal in my veins the second verse goes dear lord can you hear me i'm shackled in these chains i'm haunted by the lies of every time i said i'd change it's slipping through the shadows and that's weighing on my soul the lights are shining on me, but there ain't nobody home.

1:26:47I get goosebumps reading that and I wrote it. You know what I mean? It's like, that's, to me, that was the ultimate cry for help. You know what I mean? And like, my whole music is about honesty. I love the idea of being like, God, I know I need you. You know what I mean? But you got to come over here and I'm in a really dark place if you're going to get me out of this one, you know? Yeah, man, that song is just the goose. every lyric on that record, man, just that song was the one. I would not let that song go. We wrote that song three different times. Oh, wow. True story. Just where I'd go home and just be like, it's just not.

1:27:28I wanted every single line. You wrote books, so you know every single word can't be a killer. It can't. You know what I mean? But this song, I just was like, I want every line of this song to be thought out. I want it to be a killer. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I might do that on a page. You did it all the time. For sure, yeah. But sometimes you got to get people to them. You got to set them up for the kill. Yeah. And so they really get it. You know what I mean? But this was one of those where it's like, I just wanted, man, every lyric on that was it for me. So powerful. There's another one that I love.

1:27:57I mean, there's so many, but I'm picking a couple that I loved. And we've talked about this. This is on Unpretty. I hate the man I used to be, but he would always be a part of me. The man who I was wrong, but he's the one who built me. I feel like that's been our conversation today of just being able to accept that he'll always be a part of you, but that doesn't make you any less than. It's a, do you ever watch Stutz? Yeah. It's the shadow, right? Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? It's that, it's that idea of the shadow that's there. It's, yeah, that's, that's exactly the, there was, I'm so glad you got to get into these lyrics and you're picking the ones that were, me and Miles were talking about the other day is that you can tell on this, album that I was doing some work because it came out on the album like the way that I'm the stuff the way I'm writing is clearly like oh you're like oh yeah this kid's really doing some therapy for sure for sure and and and so so clearly I mean this is higher than heaven uh I get higher than heaven to hide from myself you know that just even that idea like is there a place higher than heaven.

1:29:05Right, right. Exactly. Yeah. 100%. And then think about this. You want to get to heaven to hide from you. Yeah. The thought of that was so good. And you hearing that lyric, right, was awesome. I had to send back at my label, they sent me the list because they try to transcribe my lyrics and I'm so country. They thought I said too high for myself. And I was like, no, no, no, too high from myself. And they were like, okay. And I was like, that was cool too, but not as cool has had for myself. I love that. That's so funny. That's hilarious. No, but I'm so excited for people to hear it. I was lucky enough to get it earlier.

1:29:39I'm so excited. Thanks for taking the time to listen to a couple of them. Of course. No, I think it's, I mean, it's not even, I listen to a lot of it, but those are just, I mean, I've got so many more, but we could go on for every track, but I just feel like it's healing music and it's, like I said earlier, I could pray to it. I could meditate to it. I could dance to it. I can hang to it. And I think it's rare that I feel that way where a lot of music, when it tries to be healing, it's cheesy. It's kind of like a bit corny. It doesn't, you know, and I feel that's when it's your real journey. That comes across.

1:30:15Exactly. Because you're not trying to preach. You're actually going through it. Exactly. You're going through it with me and the listener going through this together. And we're sharing this experience and feeling together. And it's also, you're right. because you know what, when they try to write songs, they try to write these you songs. And nobody wants to be you'd. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, I know you're feeling down. It's like, you know, you don't know I'm feeling down. You know what I mean? So yeah, they just write it on such a weird, they're so hard to write cathartic music without it coming off super corny or preachy.

1:30:48Also, that's why I don't feel a need to resolve every song. And this is where we talk about how my sausage is made a little bit. But I think artists and songwriters feel the need to resolve songs. It's like a song is a story. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, it's not. This is just a part of the movie. It doesn't have to resolve. Like, there doesn't have to be, hope can happen at the end of the album. Hope can happen on the first song of the album, right? But you can take them through a genuine journey. Everything doesn't have to cap. You know what I mean? It doesn't, sometimes leaving a song unresolved, fire and rain by James Taylor.

1:31:24I feel like that song never fully resolved itself, right? And because of that, it's made it open for my interpretation. And it's Against the Wind by Bob Seger. Never really resolved itself. These songs are the songs I always come back to because you can identify with them every part of your life, you know? When you resolve a song, sometimes you take that away. And you take away the power from allowing the person who's hearing the song to heal from what they're getting from it. I hate when people go, what was this song about? I love it when people like you go, what's up with this lyric? This is deep.

1:31:57When they're like, so what's this song about? I'm like, yo, I want this person to get something from this song. They might think about it. I tell them what I thought it was about. They might not ever hear it the way they need to hear it. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, because then it's not their story. They're not a part of the story. Yeah. You want someone to fill in the blanks. You want someone to be the guy in the glass. Art, exactly. Art is open for interpretation. Yeah. And I want you to find yourself in it, which is also why I write from first person a lot. It's not a big I thing because I'm not a big I guy.

1:32:24But first person writing for me, it's a cry for help that we can all feel. Yeah, yeah. There's only two more things I want to talk to you about because I know you've got to get out here to perform today. Yeah, El Paso, Texas, baby. You've been so kind to us. This blew my mind. Jim Todd. Yes. This is crazy. This is crazy. When I read about this, I was like, what? So Jim Todd, who's the young attorney who prosecuted you, you're not working with him. That's true. This is a fact. It's the first time we told this story too. This is really cool. This is amazing. Yeah, he's starting the Dinkin Center for juveniles to teach traits for juvenile at-risk kids.

1:33:04And you want to talk about somebody just being awesome, Jay. Imagine being the guy who charged me as an adult, bound me over. I mean, the hardest thing that's ever happened in my life, a felony I'm still trying to get rid of, is now working to help juveniles. And then me, the same kid he bound over, who was as wrong as I should have been, you know, are now work. It's just to me, one, it's such a change. It's such a signature of like, I keep having these really cool moments, Jay, where I'm like, what a full circle moment. God really, you know how there's an old saying that when you do right, they'll restore everything that went wrong.

1:33:43I'm watching it all restore. It's happening, Jay, right in front of me, dog. Like my old prosecuting attorneys, my partner now to help juveniles, you know, that old juvenile I was in now let me build studios in it and paint the walls for the kids. You just like I look at all these moments and I'm like, man, God is like he's healing my inner child in front of the world. It's dude, when I got slimed at Nickelodeon, I was like I went back that night and I was like and I got to do some at SummerSlam. I got to choke slam, swipe at SummerSlam. I was like, God is really healing my inner child in front of the world.

1:34:21You know what I mean? I suffered in silence by myself for so long that I'm now getting to redeem myself on a national platform. The sheriff to Davidson County's jail, his name's Darren Hall. 22 years he's been a sheriff. He was the sheriff whenever I was in that county jail. The last time I got locked up, the day my daughter was born, he gave me a key to the jail I was locked up in. I'm the first inmate he's ever gave a key to the jail to. And I got a necklace made. I made it diamond crusted and got a necklace with a pair of handcuffs for every time I got arrested for it. And I call it my redemption chain.

1:34:55And to have the relationship with Sheriff Darren Hall that we're close, my mayor loves me, me and Jim Todd. I mean, that guy put me in jail. You know what I'm saying? Who reached out to who? Yeah. Yeah. What's funny is they reached out to us. Now I've always been friends with him because when he became an attorney, we used to talk and he represented a couple of cases of mine that It wasn't that case because he conflict of interest. The cool part of this story is not even just what I'm doing with it, but him. Think about the heart change he had to be hands on and watch the system fail these kids for so many years that it bothered him enough that later in life he was like, I got to circle back and fix that.

1:35:33That's beautiful, isn't it? You know what I mean? Like Jim Todd's the real hero of that story to me. You know what I mean? Because I've been changed my life. It's glad you came around. You know what I'm saying? That's what it just shows, that if everyone's intentionally reflecting, looking at their life, what's possible. That's it. Just a little bit of a— Jim Todd had some guy-in-a-glass moment, didn't he? Yeah. At some point in time, he went and looked at the guy-in-a-glass and said, you know what, I was a part of the problem at one point, too. And I want to be part of the solution. Now, let's help these kids.

1:36:01Let's give these kids the resources they didn't have whenever I was a district attorney. And they said that he had that heart back then. But you want to talk about humanizing stuff, Jay. I do a songwriter program with a company called The Beat of Life at the Juvenile I was incarcerated in. And we go in there one day and Judge Calloway, who's a judge in Juvenile, is there. And she came in to write songs, Jay. And I'm in there watching. For the first time, I'm listening to her and her group. And they're giggling. They're laughing. They're writing lyrics. They're having a ball. And I thought to myself, back to the human thing.

1:36:39I love that we've had themes in this whole conversation. She's seen those kids as kids for the first time. She got not an inmate case number that killed somebody or shot somebody or did something wrong. She's seen them as little giddy 15-year-olds playing cards and trying to write a song they'd never wrote before. And they got to see her as a concerned mother. And, man, it just was so—I cried. I mean, it was just so special to watch. And it was such a good thing. They were so in the moment, they didn't realize how special it was. is when she left, I was like, I want you to know that that is the coolest thing that I've ever seen a judge do, that you came, took off the robe, showed up in regular clothes, and sat down and wrote songs with these kids.

1:37:20Like, that'll go miles with everybody. You know what I mean? I understand you still have a job to do and guidelines you got to abide by, but I think this humanized everybody. I think we all looked at each other a little different that day in that jail cell. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And it was cool because you could tell that she loved songs and singing in church, So to be a part of that, it brought out a little child and her, right? And then these kids, they'd never wrote a song. So they're just, they're really tough kids that are holding it back. And they just, you start seeing them get excited.

1:37:47And I was like, this is special, man. This is redemption. Spectacular. It's incredible. I want to end with one thing, Jelly Roll, that we reached out to your brother who sent through this beautiful love letter for you. Scott. Yes. and so I'm going to read it to you if you don't mind because uh you've given us such a gift today and I wanted to find a way to thank you and I thought who better than the person who's known you for so long so he says dear bubble love that's my bubble where to begin first off I just want to tell you how unbelievably proud I am of you for what you have achieved and even more so the man you have become personally one of my proudest memories was being in the courthouse with you.

1:38:34Bunny, Dad and Pook, the day you got full custody of Bailey, makes me tear up a little just remembering how proud we all were of the man you grew to be even back then. One of those moments I remember looking at Dad with a smile and not even having to say a word. Growing up, I always saw the talent that the world is getting to see now. Thinking back to your first day of middle school and you had missed the bus so Mama said, take your brother to school. We pull up across from JC Napier housing projects. And before you could open the car door, me telling you that it would probably be a good idea to start rapping or to not be the guy who doesn't throw the first punch.

1:39:15Lol. You figured it out, brother. You were freestyling every ride after that. I know growing up, I was not always the best role model. And the older I got has given me many sleepless nights of regret. You always, always, always came to visit me when I was locked up. And yeah, I came to juvenile a few times, but when you got bound over, I was not there. Just know that I had to leave, TM Baba. I know it had to hurt you that your brother wasn't there, and I'm so sorry. Being young and where we came from is my only excuse, Baba, although not a good one. But the amazing part of it all is what you're doing as a human now.

1:39:57Being so young and getting out of being incarcerated over and over, then hearing you had a little girl born while being there, you grew strength and changed everything. Started helping others with your songs, those who went and still are going through similar pasts and struggles as we did. Being at your shows and seeing people cry and be so touched by the words you sing and person you are is amazing. You portray love and hope, JJ. You got out of lockup and totally changed your direction. Taking all the negatives and turning them positive for helping others to overcome what they've gone through is amazing.

1:40:35Reaching out to me in Idaho Falls several months ago and taking me out the dark place I was in for years and years, I'm forever grateful for you, brother. You've always been there for me and our family. I love you more than you will ever know. I know dad is in heaven looking down smiling ear to ear with Nan and Bibi he called it 30 plus years ago at the Italian street fair in Brentwood TN where you were on stage doing karaoke to George Strait he looked to me and said Jason has never met a stranger one day he will be an entertainer well look at you now Baba I just want you to know how proud your family is of you and thank you for doing what only you can do every day helping the world to be better and letting people know it's never too late you're a true inspiration to so many including your big brother I love you Baba Scott Scooby DeFord Scooby baby God man that is so awesome dude it's for you brother oh thank you brother God I love him man he didn't even tell me he just left I was just with him three days ago oh man I want to thank you for just being amazing inspiration in my life, brother, being introduced to you from the moment we met.

1:41:51I was like, this is the guy I need to talk to. I'm here to support you, serve alongside you in any way I can. And I can't wait to go on to see what you do. I know this is just the beginning and I'm so, so inspired by you. Your true, true light in this world and a true testament to every transformation we believe in. You're, you're living it right now. So deeply humbled and we end every episode with a fast five. Every question has to be answered in one word to one sentence. All right. First of all, though, Jay, I need to give you your flowers, though, brother. Thank you again for your impact. You don't know how many people you help.

1:42:30I always have this phrase I use that it's not a ticket stub, it's a story. Those YouTube views are souls, baby, and you're touching them. Thank you, man. Appreciate that. Deeply. Deeply, man. I feel that. and receive it. All right. Last few minutes. Question one, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? Best advice I ever heard or received? As cliche as it is, just don't give up. It just, my father was real big about don't give up. He was just super, super, he believed in the law of hours that if you put enough time into something, it would work. Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

1:43:12Give up. The worst advice I ever received was somebody telling me, you know, it's not going to work. I love that. Cut your losses. Question number three, if you could define your current purpose, what would it be? My current purpose is to help and heal. I think my current purpose is to help people heal through music. Beautiful. Question number four, a message you'd like to share to anyone who's listening right now, it like just what you need them to hear what you feel they need to hear right now uh i said it in my speech but i live by this quote it's a quote i live by that the windshield is bigger than the rear view for a reason baby you've got to move forward dog i love it and fifth and final question we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show if you could create a law that everyone in the world had to follow what would it be love truly love truly act out of love um if you just thought to yourself, is that what love would say every time you were fixing to say something?

1:44:13It would change the way we all talk to each other. Jelly Roll, thank you so much. Thank you, brother. Thank you, man. The album is out right now while we're speaking. Beautifully Broken, baby. You got the biggest podcast in the world. Shameless plug. My name is Jason Jelly Roll, D4. My album is available. It's called Beautifully Broken. Check it out. I'm trying to have my first number one album. We're going to make it happen. We're going to make it happen. Your mouth to God's here, baby. We're going to make it happen. We're going to put everything behind it. Beautifully Broken all the way. I'm so grateful, Jelly Roll.

1:44:39Thank you for such a good conversation. Thank you. Love you, brother. Love you, man. Thank you, brother. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you. Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. like as an artist if you like it that's all of the value that's the success comes when you say i like this enough for other people to see it parking shouldn't slow you down park whiz gives every driver a shortcut book ahead save up to 50 and skip the hassle of circling the block park smarter park faster park whiz download the park whiz app today and save every time you park Ugh, come on.

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