In short
Carl-Anthony Towns reflects on winning the NBA championship after “the hardest year” of his life, focusing on staying present, leadership through service, and processing grief from COVID-era family losses.
Guests
Carl-Anthony Towns (Minnesota Timberwolves star; NBA champion; fiancé/wife Jordan mentioned throughout). Host: Jay (On Purpose podcast host; no background provided in transcript).
Key claims
- The championship arrived on “God’s timing,” not his schedule.
- The hardest part after winning is the first week out of competition—relearning identity without basketball.
- “Living in the moment” (not getting lost in it) prevents letting people down.
- Grief and survivor’s guilt persist, especially because his mother couldn’t witness milestones.
- He found “therapy” through trusted mentorship (Arnie Kander), not conventional city therapy.
Notable examples
- Game 4 vs. New York: he describes halftime rallying and OG Anunoby’s decisive play.
- Childhood: a walk with his dad in seventh grade led to rejecting a trainer’s plan to reshape his game; his mom’s calm forgiveness after a parakeet escaped taught him to forgive without holding grudges.
- COVID: he visited his mother in a hazmat suit, fixed her hair/toenails, and spoke with her on FaceTime before end-of-life decisions; he later proposed a “friend” conversation he had with her about his future marriage.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOReflecting on Game Four
0:05 to 0:33
Carl shares his experiences and emotions from a pivotal game in his career.
“You know, the ones that I'm talking about, when something about your body just doesn't seem right.”
Reflecting on Game Four
1:16 to 1:41
Carl shares his experiences and emotions from a pivotal game in his career.
“What a great time of year summer is, a time to celebrate with loved ones and get closer to nature.”
Reflecting on Game Four
2:25 to 4:26
Carl shares his experiences and emotions from a pivotal game in his career.
“Everyone in the world is talking about this moment.”
The Surprising Reality of Winning
4:26 to 6:43
Towns discusses the unexpected feelings after achieving his championship goal.
“you know, just understanding the situation is we're down 29 plus points, you know, down 25 plus points, 29 points.”
Celebrating the Moment
6:43 to 9:09
Carl reflects on living in the moment during the championship parade.
“football player, professional athlete, I think they understand what I'm going to say, which is it's that first week out of competition that is so tough because you got to, in essence, find yourself again.”
Formative Memories and Lessons
9:44 to 14:00
Towns shares childhood memories that shaped his identity and approach to basketball.
“Living in the moment, lush in the moment, I'll never forget that.”
Lessons from a Childhood Story
14:00 to 15:00
Explore how a childhood experience with a bird led to valuable lessons on forgiveness and letting go.
“I remember one day she was cleaning the bird cage and everything like that.”
The Importance of Being Present
15:00 to 17:40
Discussion on the significance of living in the moment and appreciating small everyday interactions.
“My mom approached that situation with such calm and relaxed and forgiveness that that one moment showed me a lot about, especially doing this job, this craft, it's okay to forgive people.”
Determination and Family Support
17:40 to 22:00
Karl-Anthony Towns shares how his family support fueled his confidence and work ethic on the path to the NBA.
“Coach Calipari always told me, told us when we was there at college, we're one of the greatest college teams ever assembled.”
Coping with Loss During COVID-19
22:00 to 28:05
Towns reflects on the challenges of losing family members during the pandemic and the emotional toll it took.
“Oh, the first five years, I would have loved you.”
Show all 33 chapters
Navigating Difficult Decisions in Love
28:05 to 28:39
Karl-Anthony Towns discusses the challenge of making tough decisions regarding loved ones' health.
“just to meet her say hi because me and Jordan had never been in that level ever and it was like weird for us to hug even for like two and a half years so like I said I didn't want to leave anything unturned.”
Celebrating Life and Family Traditions
28:40 to 30:49
Towns shares memories of how his mother made every moment special and how he aims to continue that legacy.
“I would have taken her in any condition.”
The Emotional Weight of Championships
30:50 to 33:19
Karl reflects on how his mother's presence influenced his emotions during significant moments in his career.
“And it was, it's probably one of my favorite memories with my mom of just like how she'd know exactly what I wanted.”
Experiencing Presence After Loss
33:20 to 34:58
Towns describes a profound moment of feeling his mother's presence during a pivotal game, highlighting its impact on him.
“That's something that I can't explain the value behind that.”
Experiencing Presence After Loss
35:15 to 36:38
Towns describes a profound moment of feeling his mother's presence during a pivotal game, highlighting its impact on him.
“From Anne Rice's Immortal Universe comes what Vulture calls the most momentous event in fictional rock history.”
Experiencing Presence After Loss
36:45 to 37:15
Towns describes a profound moment of feeling his mother's presence during a pivotal game, highlighting its impact on him.
“I even have seven days to love it or return it.”
Survivor's Guilt and Personal Growth
37:16 to 38:45
Towns shares his ongoing feelings of survivor's guilt related to his mother's passing and how it shapes his identity.
“You've talked before about this idea of survivor's guilt from that time.”
Defining Identity Beyond Achievements
38:46 to 40:12
Discussion on how achievements in basketball do not define personal worth, emphasizing a broader impact on community.
“What I do gets more attention than who I am, even though who I am is more important than what I do.”
The Importance of Authentic Connection
40:13 to 42:00
A conversation about the importance of being heard and authentic in expressing personal struggles and experiences.
“And I also think a lot of times people just want to be heard and they never really feel heard because people are never willing to actually say the real things.”
Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth
42:00 to 51:38
Discover how mentorship and friendship shaped personal resilience and emotional health.
“He's always been like a second father to me.”
Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth
51:43 to 52:13
Discover how mentorship and friendship shaped personal resilience and emotional health.
“You know, the ones that I'm talking about when something about your body just doesn't seem right.”
Career Transitions and Team Dynamics
52:13 to 56:01
Explore the feelings and insights around career changes and team integration in basketball.
“How did it feel when you were actually being traded from Minnesota?”
Courtside Excitement Test
56:01 to 58:04
Karl-Anthony Towns shares his excitement levels for various celebrity sightings at games.
“So I probably would say like a seven or six because right when you see her, you go dun-dun.”
Mindset in Playoffs
58:05 to 1:00:10
Karl discusses the mental strategies and responsibilities he feels during playoff games.
“And he said, I love how normal it is for you to see your dad.”
Pre-game Routines
1:00:11 to 1:02:34
Karl shares his consistent pre-game routines and mental preparations for games.
“And And in doing that, you get 1 % better, you get 1 % better, you get 1 % better.”
The Importance of Focus
1:02:35 to 1:04:46
Karl explains how being 'locked in' affects his performance and relationships during games.
“Because I'm so locked in that you're talking about, you know, what was the game about the celebrity row?”
Dream of Olympic Glory
1:04:47 to 1:05:48
Karl expresses his desire to represent the Dominican Republic in the Olympics.
“I love that visual you just painted of how you see nothing else apart from 10 guys.”
Lessons from Mac Miller
1:05:49 to 1:08:12
Karl reflects on lessons learned from his friendship with Mac Miller about authenticity and character.
“He was just so genuine in his approach to people.”
Cherishing Connections
1:08:13 to 1:09:16
Karl discusses the importance of remembering those who supported him along his journey.
“John was just talking about it and he was just saying like after the thing, you know, he would never expect me to reach back out to him.”
Final Five Questions
1:09:17 to 1:10:03
Karl answers the final five questions, sharing impactful advice and personal reflections.
“I'm going to need a few words from you then.”
The True Source of Happiness
1:10:03 to 1:11:09
Discover why human interaction is more valuable than money in finding happiness.
“I thought money would solve all problems and it would make me the happiest version of myself.”
A Simple Law for Better Living
1:11:10 to 1:11:31
Learn about a fundamental principle for improving relationships and society.
“If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?”
A Special Gift from Gatorade
1:11:32 to 1:12:44
Hear about a personal gift exchange and preferences for flavors.
“amazing I have something I want to gift to you actually a gift oh it's there you want to bring it in?”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:01Jay Shetty:This episode is brought to you by Amazon Health AI. We've got to talk about those panicked internet searches. You know, the ones that I'm talking about, when something about your body just doesn't seem right. So you search and search and scroll and scroll, and trying to figure out your body by endlessly looking for answers. Thankfully, now there's Amazon Health AI. It can connect your symptoms with your medical history, and it can even get you care 24-7. So call off the search, Amazon Health AI is here. Healthcare just got less painful. This episode is presented by State Farm. We spend so much energy becoming the best version of ourselves, building better habits, showing up more fully, embracing mindfulness.
0:48Jay Shetty:But sometimes the most purposeful thing you can do is just handle the thing you've been putting off. If getting your insurance sorted has been living on that list, State Farm is there to help you choose the coverage that's right for you. Go online at statefarm.com or use the easily accessible app to get help from one of their over 19 ,000 local agents. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods. What a great time of year summer is, a time to celebrate with loved ones and get closer to nature. Whatever you've got planned, you'll find everything you need with the quality you expect from Whole Foods Market.
1:25Jay Shetty:Find sales on best of summer fruit, like sweet peaches and organic blueberries and nectarines. Plus, you'll find fresh grilling veggies like corn and zucchini, salads and everyday low prices on 365 brand chips and dips. Shop Whole Foods Market in-store or online and get your first delivery free with Prime. Terms apply. This espresso is extremely hot and we're going to fight. We're fighting. Don't burn your tongue. Don't burn your tongue. Take a beer. Do not burn your tongue. If the alcohol ain't do it, it's not going to do it this way. I can tell you that. Hey, it's Jay. I don't know what your day's been like, but I was just thinking about you for a minute.
2:04Jay Shetty:And I hope you're being a little patient with yourself because you deserve it. And yeah, I'll talk to you soon.
2:20Jay Shetty:Carl Anthony Towns, welcome to On Purpose. What's up, man? What's up? Huge congratulations. Everyone in the world is talking about this moment. And I feel like even my friends back in England, people are messaging me. I love it over there too. Oh my God, New York looks crazy. I was at game four. Oh, okay. MSG, 29 points down. Yes. How do you remember that night? Well, I appreciate you staying in your seat because it was a tough game. But I remember that night just, I remember looking at Jordan, my fiance, and just telling her before the game, I feel really good about tonight. And I had a really good energy about it.
2:53I feel really good about our team. team you know we lost game three in a heartbreaking fashion I felt really good about us responding saw the shoot around we looked very focused prepared you know I felt really good going into game four obviously it did not look good until halftime I remember looking at Jordan I was like maybe I was wrong in the game and you know at halftime just rallying the troops telling them you know we've done this before experience teaches you a lot in life and you know a lot of times when you're young, you always see people who are older than you, your elders and who have had experiences.
3:25And you say, well, that was yours. That's not mine. You know, you realize we're all a lot, a lot alike. And I was just leaning on that experience of last year against Boston, coming back multiple times by 20 at their house. I was telling our guys, like, think about it. We've been in this situation before at an opponent's house. We got our fans behind us and we have a chance to still swing for the fences and trust our experience. And we found a way to get the job done. I'll never forget OG tipping the ball back in because the right hand of God, man.
3:56Jay Shetty:Was it a relief seeing him do that? Or was that like, no, it sounds like you watched the game. He tipped it in. I was ready to dunk it. So we had two offensive rebounds ready to happen. And OG, man, he's just special. He's always been special. And I always tell him even games not going his way. OG Ananobio always in the fourth quarter finds a way to make his presence known. And he did exactly that. But when you were saying that at halftime, were you saying that to each player, looking them in the eyes? It was more like, you know, when you're in the huddle, you get in the locker room and just speaking out loud and everyone's just looking at me and just talking, you know, just understanding the situation is we're down 29 plus points, you know, down 25 plus points, 29 points.
4:34It can't get any worse. And at the end of the day, we had the experience of being down 24, I believe in Boston and coming all the way back and getting the game. So it's going to take that one special play at the end to win the game because once you fight back, you still got to make that one play. Last year, both games was Mikael Bridges getting a stop, getting a steal. And this year it was an offensive play with OG.
4:54Jay Shetty:You said this idea that this is such a life-changing moment. It's an unbelievable accomplishment. What's the most surprising thing about being a champion now? Like what is the most surprising thing about this moment that you wouldn't have known until now when you're living it? When I said earlier, hearing that champion, that champion, like, I don't even know how you want to say it, moniker, you want to say whatever like that, like, just hear that next to your name is something you don't ever think you're going to hear in your life. Not me as a competitor, I felt my championship was always on the way, but I thought it was going to be on my timing.
5:25It was on God's timing when I got my championship. When I say that, when I was younger, you never think you're going to make the NBA. You never know if you have a chance. I was just hoping to get a college scholarship. That was always the goal. Just get a college scholarship and find a way to save my parents all that money in college. And I found myself here. And the thing that's so surprising with winning a championship is something life has taught you. And I think you'll understand this is your whole life. you see something and you see this goal and you set this goal and you run towards this goal with all your might, all your will, all your strength.
6:03And then you finally get to it. And the moment goes by so quick. And next thing you know, you're like, what's next? We won the championship on Saturday. We flew back. We were back home Sunday morning. We flew right after the game. and by Sunday afternoon, I'm like, what's next? You know, what are we doing here? Like, there's no more basketball to be played. I still worked out after winning the championship. I was like, I can't stop. Like, there's no way you could tell me after being so locked in and turnt up about playing basketball that I could just turn down and unlock myself back to the real world.
6:40It was something I can't comprehend. And any NBA player, basketball player, football player, professional athlete, I think they understand what I'm going to say, which is it's that first week out of competition that is so tough because you got to, in essence, find yourself again. You know, it's not as easy as it sounds to just, oh, well, just go on vacation and stuff. The vacation first two days, it feels awkward to be there because it may be, it's like a, for us, it's an all-star break. It's a two-day break. You know, sometimes in a regular season, you'll get three days between a game and maybe you're like in Orlando, you're in, you know, you get to go to Disney World with your family and stuff where you're in Houston and you get to go golfing and you get to go, you know, enjoy some sun or something like that.
7:22But like the first couple of days is it's very, it's very weird. And I haven't even really started my off season because yesterday was the parade.
7:29Jay Shetty:Yeah, exactly. You know what I'm trying to say? So I feel for me on Monday, I'm going to really have a tough time not waking up to go to the court to play basketball, not waking up to go lift heavy in the weight room, not used to seeing my teammates, my brothers, you know, we have accomplished the highest goal possible, but now we all have to separate to go live our lives, you know, and take care of our kids, our family. You're so aware of that though. I feel like some people win or go through that and athletes I've spoken to, they think about it years later, but you're so aware now, how are you trying to slow it down, experience it, celebrate, be still for this moment right now?
8:07Well, I mean, anyone who watched the parade, You see, I was definitely in the moment and I was living in it. But I do think even with the parade, like there's a difference between living in the moment and getting lost in the moment. And I found myself living to the point I lost myself in the moment. I was having so much fun. I was enjoying the moment, seeing the crowd, seeing the jubilation of the fans, seeing a lot of people to like finally give me the greatest currency in New York, which is respect. And just seeing them being able to give me that respect at the pinnacle of the mountain. And I was losing myself in the moment just watching these people and just being so happy that, you know, as any person, you at the top of the podcast game, you just want to be respected for what you do, you know, and to finally get that respect, to finally have people appreciate my craft.
8:53It was a really cool feeling. I got myself lost in the moment because that respect for my craft hasn't always been there in my career. And these are one of those few moments where I get to really sit back and allow the fans to show me the love and respect I've worked for so hard for.
9:09Jay Shetty:This episode is presented by State Farm. We spend so much energy becoming the best version of ourselves, building better habits, showing up more fully, embracing mindfulness. But sometimes the most purposeful thing you can do is just handle the thing you've been putting off. If getting your insurance sorted has been living on that list, State Farm is there to help you choose the coverage that's right for you. Go online at statefarm.com or use the easily accessible app to get help from one of their over 19 ,000 local agents. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Living in the moment, lush in the moment, I'll never forget that.
9:46Jay Shetty:And yeah, you deserve the respect, man. As we do on this podcast, I love going backwards because I'm fascinated by how people became who they are. Yeah. And I wanted to ask you, what's a childhood memory you have that you think defines who you are today? I had to go on a walk with my dad. First of all, that is not normal. So I was like telling my dad, like, I'm a young kid. I have the whole world behind me in basketball, this next basketball prodigy. And been on covers of magazines and everything. And I remember there was a guy, he had asked to work me out and drove down. and he's one of the top gurus of workout trainers in the world.
10:26And he was working me out and he was trying to mold my game more into the traditional sense of a big man back in the day. You know, back to the basket, get to these elbows boxes, really that's it. Well, me and my dad understand the vision I had for myself and my dad had the vision and wanted to do that because his whole motto was I want to make sure you have all the skills that a coach can never sit you. He was the coach. So he was like, I'm going to give you the skills to make sure I can never not play you. You know, working on my guard skills, shooting three ball, you know, dribbling, being able to recognize different defenses at different places on the court, being able to be a three level scorer.
11:04That wasn't something at my size people were supposed to be doing. You're supposed to be back to the basket, hook shots, fade, you know, maybe a fade away if you're like super talented on a KG, Tim Duncan off the backboard, Dirk Nowitzki with the one leg. and I could see his game was trying to model me more after that. And I had a vision for myself that I would be the first of my kind. And I'm a young kid. I think I was seventh grade, sixth grade. And I remember telling my dad one time, like, let's take a walk. It's the same house my sister lives in now. And then we took a walk around the block and I know how my dad is a very, you know, prideful man takes, you know, he's the head of the household and everyone's intimidated by him, except my mom.
11:49My mom didn't give a name. And I just took a walk with him. I was like, dad, listen, I appreciate you wanting to do the best for me. I know this guy has accolades and the credentials to say he would be better than you training me, but he wants to work out with me. wants to work me out as a player because of the time we put in together because he sees something special in what we've done. I don't think he's the man for the job because no one understands the vision I have for myself more than you. And I think that we've gotten here and been highly successful doing it to the world together. And I don't see why we should stop doing that when you're the one who got me to this place and you're the one that understands and believes in the vision that I have.
12:42And I remember walking with my dad and I didn't know how he was going to react. You know, he could be very like, no, like this guy is the one, he's this and this and this and this and that. But my dad looked at me and I felt like, you know, I'm older now. And obviously the vision we had was the right vision. I think he just looked at me and was so proud because one, I was willing to have a tough conversation with him of all people who everyone runs away from having that convo from Coach Towns. But I think he could see that I was very serious, that I believed in him more than I believed in anyone else.
13:21And I think when he saw that, he was like, you don't have to say anymore. I'll take it from here. Call the guys like, hey, I appreciate you working my son out, giving him a chance to see what you do and stuff. But I think we're going to go a different direction. How old were you? I think I was seventh grade.
13:36Jay Shetty:Wow. Yeah, I was like seventh grade. And I was just like, I seen it. Look at it now. If I would have done that, I don't know if I would have been the player I am today. I've done something in the NBA that hasn't been done before and shooting wise and with the guard skills and those skills and that vision has led me finally to a NBA championship. So that was big. And the small moment I always, I think of, and I've never said this before, but my mom was big into birds. She was big into parakeets. It's a small story, but it means a lot. I remember one day she was cleaning the bird cage and everything like that.
14:13And the bird cage was open and she said, Hey, don't close the door. I'm young. I always listen, but you know how it is. You know, like, no, I can see the bird. The bird's never going to be that much quicker than me. I'm cat, cat-like reflexes. I never thought of that. And I remember that I opened the door to go outside just to run around and I let the door open and the bird flies out. I said, Oh my God, I let down the one person in the world. I never want to let down, which is my mom. Love my dad to death, but my mom is everything. And my mom looked as she goes, she didn't show not one sense of anger.
14:50I was like, ah, the bird had better places to be anyway. Wow. And that's beautiful. And I felt upset because I didn't want to let her down. And that's how I, even today, I never want to let my brothers down. I want to let my teammates down. My mom approached that situation with such calm and relaxed and forgiveness that that one moment showed me a lot about, especially doing this job, this craft, it's okay to forgive people. it's not okay to forget, but it's okay to forgive people so they do not own any capacity of your life. And in doing that, when she had that story, I learned how important it is to not hold the grudge and that you truly control how much the situation dictates your life.
15:37And it's something small and it's something so, it would seem so insignificant, but that led to the conversation about losing material items. Like she was telling me how my grandfather gave her a watch and it was a gold watch. Didn't care about the brand. It was just nice. She was just like, I one day went to the beach. I put the gold watch down on the thing. I went to the water. I came back. The towel and everything was there, but the gold watch was in the sand and I couldn't find it. And she said that my grandfather had told her like, if you have ever lost something, it's not meant to be yours.
16:14And she was like, I've always believed that, that instead of me crying and getting upset about losing something and everything like that, it just wasn't meant to be mine anymore or it wasn't meant to be what it is anymore. And I just saved myself a lot of anguish and pain and things like that by just simply letting it go. You got the Hmong background, you know how it is.
16:39Jay Shetty:No, it's powerful. I didn't realize you were a philosopher too. Yeah, nah, nah, nah. No, it's powerful. I love it I mean I'm a man I'm just man walking the path I'm just walking the path man No but you're walking it Noticing Yeah I've been thinking a lot about that recently Like we talk a lot about presence Or we talk a lot about Being in the moment But really it's people who notice things Like these small moments These small things people say The little thing that your mom just said to you On the side But it becomes something that you carry in your heart What do you do now When you feel like you're letting people down Like whether it's your teammates People that you love Do you even go through that Or do you feel free from that?
17:13I just do everything in my power to capitalize on the present. You know, I think when you let people down is because, you know, one, it just wasn't your day and, you know, every one of your brothers and everything will notice that. But two, it's more the fact of sometimes people get caught up in the future and the future never happens without the present. And the past is already done. So there ain't nothing to get back from it. So I always just stay in the present. I'm big about staying in the present. Coach Calipari always told me, told us when we was there at college, we're one of the greatest college teams ever assembled.
17:48It was, you will never have a room of talent, like the way I have the talent in this room right now. You will never have another room. When you guys go to the NBA, you'll never be, have this amount of talent in one room ever again. So enjoy this moment, capitalize on this moment. Don't let it slip by without being thankful for this. And I've always thought of that. I've always thought about it. And it goes back to what you said, just noticing things and actually listening. I really listen to what people say and the way they act, the way the energy they present to us, to me, my wife. And it's so powerful when you stay in the present, you have a very hard time of letting people down because you really were there and you were giving everything you had to make sure that present was taken care of and then the future would be taken care of.
18:35So I just always stay in the present regardless of this conversation. it's me at brunch with my fiancee wife I like saying wife fiancee just sounds we got to get past that part with my wife just having brunch or um being with my dad being with my sister her niece my niece and nephew being at a baseball game with his baseball games and stuff like I'm real present about putting the phone away and everything and really truly enjoying family time I still grew up on appointment TV time with my family and my sister. So I appreciate those moments of pure silence because my life is full of noise. So I appreciate those moments when I get to really just disconnect from the world and truly have that one-on-one time.
19:20Jay Shetty:Yeah, I love that. I can tell. I mean, you can see it just in your presence from the moment you walked in the room. You can feel that when someone comes in and everything slows down around them. They're really where they are. I feel like athletes have to have it to be as successful as you are. Everyone's so wired differently, you know? And I think a lot of times when people misunderstand people, they keep saying they have to believe in exactly what they believe in. And if they don't believe in that, they're wrong. They're not wrong. They're just wired differently. I'm a man of people. I'm a man on a mission to just spread love to everybody, not because people believe in New York Knicks basketball or because they believe in how I feel about politics and stuff.
20:03I actually have had some of the best conversations with people who don't agree with what I think. And just being able to sit like this, no mics, no cameras, no lights, and just really just, I just want to hear them out. I think it's fascinating to hear why people think the way they do. And you'll find a lot of times we're a lot alike and they just haven't had a person who has a different mindset or a different approach to the situation. to just calmly speak to them in a loving manner of just having a simple conversation. And you find a lot of things or miscommunications in the world that just are being refused to be talked out.
20:38Jay Shetty:I fully agree with you. I think that the challenge we've created in the world is we judge before we ask. We assume before we reflect. We choose to make a conclusion on someone before we even have the context of walking a mile in their shoes. and it's so easy to live that way, but actually it creates so many complexities moving forward. For you, did you ever doubt yourself on the way to the NBA? Was there a moment of insecurity, a moment of, I might not make it? To be honest, my confidence was always driven by my support system and my family. I never thought I wasn't going to make it. I always believed that anything that the success I would have while making it would be determined by how much I wanted to work.
21:21So I wasn't going to allow anyone to outwork me because I seen how my parents struggled. I seen how they worked nine to fives and was able to put food on the table. I always, you know, I'm blessed that maybe I didn't have millions of dollars growing up in a silver spoon, but what I did have was a ton of love and that's more currency than anything you could get in a family. You know, I had so much love in my family that that's all I ever needed. I felt to be wealthy was just love. And I never doubted myself at all. not one bit.
21:54Jay Shetty:Yeah. Even to this day, I never doubted the championship wasn't coming my way, but like I said, I thought the championship would come on my time and it was going to come on God's timing. What was your time? And this was God's time. Oh, the first five years, I would have loved you. I thought I could get one in Minnesota right away. And I thought on my time, I would be getting this championship and God had other plans and I had to slow down and trust his timing. And once I slow down and said, I'm on your timing. I'm not going to push what I want to happen. I'm sitting here now with the championship moniker and it's pretty cool.
22:27Jay Shetty:Talking about family, you've spoken about how important it is to you. I also know, and I'm so sorry for your loss, but you lost eight family members during COVID and you were even hospitalized yourself. And my dad, my dad actually survived with my mom. So how did you even begin to process that? What was going through your heart and mind when you were going through it? I mean, I think the whole world was going through an epidemic we've never been through. I've never seen New York have nobody in the streets. You know, nobody was, you know, the pictures were insane. It looked like I am legend, truthfully.
23:01Jay Shetty:Yeah. I just feel like my life has built me up to be so mentally tough. And it was never about rah-rah and screaming and yelling at people. I've always felt my leadership style was servant leadership. I'm here to serve others. That's literally when I'm at my best is when I get to serve others, whether that's with kindness, love, or in basketball, being able to give them an assist, be able to pick them up, be able to score the basket. So whatever mistake they made is covered up. Like I've always felt my style was serving leadership. I was just built up mentally to be able to withstand these kinds of punishments and nothing could have prepared me for that.
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23:42and watching my mother lead the household and watching my father demand respect and gain respect and being able to be tenacious with his competitive attitude. Competitively, I knew I could go at this challenge of stepping into the head of the household, stepping into taking care of my father, stepping into her shoes. As a competitor, I wanted to do the best job I could do to match hers because I never thought I could win, but I never thought I was going to lose. So I was just more of like, I could do this. And I knew from watching her so up close for all these years, I knew how she approached different situations, how she took care of people, my grandmother, her mom, my father, my sister in certain situations and being able to understand the meaning of love from her.
24:34I was able to appropriately show that love to people, show that love to our family. and stepped into her shoes of taking care of the household, being the head of it. And I feel like I'm doing a great job. I feel like I'm making her proud. And I just continue to stay in the present. It's a challenge every day. It's a challenge every single day to make sure everyone is feeling at their best.
24:59Jay Shetty:You tragically lost your mom at that time. And I wanted to ask, like, did you, because it was COVID, I lost people during COVID. I couldn't even go back to see them. did you get any last moments with her? Were you able to be there with her? I got to talk to her on FaceTime before I had to make that decision of pulling the plug. I definitely, I went and saw her personally with the hazmat suit and I walked in the room. I fixed her hair. I made sure her toenails looked good. She looked fabulous. I remember eyebrows right before everything. And yeah, just whitewashed her face and just make sure she was comfortable as possible and had my final conversations with her and talking to her and everything like that.
25:45And it was a crazy feeling. It was crazy because it was, you know, I felt we had real conversation. She didn't say a word back to me, but I felt like energy always travels, you know. And I just remember being there right before there. I remember being on the phone with my fiance now and my wife and Jordan and asking her what to do in these situations like where she was with her father and she gave me kind of like some tips and just kind of like letting me know it's going to be okay and that's when I went upstairs in the hospital and saw her for the last time it was one of those things that like I didn't get lost in the moment I was living in the moment but the moment was very it was heavy it was a very heavy moment especially it was COVID so they didn't allowed my father to go up there.
26:31They didn't allow my sister to go up there. It was only one person. They all picked me to go. It was one of those moments. It was tough conversations. And it was conversations that I appreciated that I was always talking about staying in the present, that I got to tell her a bunch of things alive when she was cognitive about a lot. So we talked about everything. There was only one thing we really never got to talk about. And I used that moment kind of to talk to her about it and uh I'm glad I did it worked out can you share what that was I actually told her I said you know I have this friend of mine she's been helping me with all this stuff I've never introduced you properly to her I know we're friends I don't know what life has for us but you know let me know if this is supposed to be something that is gonna happen or will happen.
27:21But I know when you step into that next life and that next realm, you'll, you'll look out for me and you'll, you'll let me know if this is the right situation to come into my life possibly. What is it? Seven years later or getting married this summer?
27:37Jay Shetty:And you felt, you felt like an inner, I don't know. I just, my gut has been so good at telling me about life. And I feel because I've lived the right way. I'm not saying I'm perfect in any sort of fashion, but I've tried and that's more than enough than what God asked for all of us is to try and I try I don't know I just felt like I didn't want to leave any stone unturned so that was the only thing I feel like we never got to talk about and um even like her opinion just like you know friends like you know just to meet her say hi because me and Jordan had never been in that level ever and it was like weird for us to hug even for like two and a half years so like I said I didn't want to leave anything unturned.
28:15You live in the present. Don't think about the future. I'd rather let you know, and you'll let me know if the situation is something. And I guess you was pushing it to happen because everything aligned up perfectly. And now we're getting married. So obviously it's the right one.
28:30Jay Shetty:I can't imagine how hard it is also to make the decision. I think when we're losing people we love, we want to hold onto them. And so as you said, to pull the plug and let go of the person you love, that must be like a terrifying decision. How did you even make sense of it? I didn't. I don't know if I did. I tried everything. I tried every other route than that. I would have taken her in any condition. It didn't matter if we needed to change our lives around for her or whatever the case may be, I would have done anything. But I don't think there was a way she was going to have a meaningful recovery.
29:06You know, I don't think that she was actually going to make it regardless. So it's tough when you have to make those really tough decisions. And we're not talking about either going to vacation here or there, or do you eat this or that for dinner? I'm talking about like the true life and death decision, you know, either you have to be willing to have death of your ego or, you know, you got to have a death of opportunity. And I picked the death of my ego for the best of her.
29:37Jay Shetty:Hardest decision. Yeah, yeah. You said that your mom always knew how to make the celebration special. Yeah. The big moments. Yeah, she did. What kind of things did she do? My birthdays was one of them and she made them feel so grand and it was so simple, but it was just so much because of the energy she brought to it. Yeah, she did an amazing job of just making all those moments feel so special. And, you know, now with, you know, Jordan, we try to kind of mimic that energy for a lot of things, especially. And that's how we approach people's birthdays. Or like she has a nephew in Lake that we love to celebrate.
30:16My niece and nephew, I love to celebrate their birthdays and special moments and stuff like that. And I'm just fortunate now, especially winning a championship in New York, that I get to be closer to my family in Jersey, my niece, my nephew, my sister. So it gets a little easier to do something, you know, when they're growing up and stuff. It's easy to show up at the Little League baseball game. It's easy to show up at a dance recital. It's easy to do that. So I'm just trying, like I said, I'm just stepping into her shoes, trying to do as much as I can that she would done for us.
30:47Jay Shetty:I can relate to what you're saying. So my mom used to, I remember we didn't have a lot growing up, but on my birthday, I'd get the like one thing I wanted as a surprise or at Christmas, the one thing I wanted. And it was, it's probably one of my favorite memories with my mom of just like how she'd know exactly what I wanted. She'd figure it out. She'd find a way to surprise me. And I wanted to ask you, what do you think your mom would say to you if she was here right now and seeing you become the champion that you are? Well, I think first she would say you didn't drink more. she would be so happy.
31:20She would just be definitely hugging me up, kissing me a ton, just saying how proud of she is of me and how awesome this is. And I don't know. I just feel like it would have, it would have been really cool to see how she would have reacted at the parade. I feel like she would have ran off the float and started running with the people. So I feel like she would just be super proud. I feel like she would be emotional. So I feel like a lot of it It would just be her crying and being super excited and just enjoying these moments of, I laugh when I say it, but it is funny. And my sister hearing this will laugh when she'll be like, you didn't drink more?
31:56It's a celebration. We got to go even harder. You got to find a way to do more. And I found more happiness with this championship in game one before the game started. I found more happiness than I found in the rest of the series. Really? Why? Because I felt her presence so strongly. And I yearned for it so bad. That was probably the best moment. And you would think it would be the moment right after winning, celebrating, screaming and stuff. You would think it would be the right-hand tip-in by OG. I think it was before game one started in the 20 minutes on that court before we had to go back to do the national anthem.
32:38I felt such a presence that it was just so obvious that it had to be her. and I've yearned for that moment ever since she passed more than the championship. And when I got that moment, I felt so at peace and I felt, I just kept smiling because it was something I, I feel like we were having our own like dance, but we weren't saying no words and I just felt the presence. And it was, when I said that at the end of game one, it was real. Like I just was having fun. I know it got competitive. You may not see me smiling a lot, but I felt very comfortable. I felt very at peace. And that was one of those moments.
33:15And I don't want to diminish the value of winning a championship. It's one of the best feelings ever. But like, that's supernatural. That's something that I can't explain the value behind that. Like when you say it's one of the best feelings in the world, there's a value associated. There's no, that's priceless. Like that's so rare you get one of those moments. It's like her appearing in a dream. I'd wake up and cry after that. and to have that moment of feeling of that presence, like that was special. How did you notice and feel her presence? It was so calming. It just felt like the music felt like the best music ever.
33:49Dribbling the basketball felt just so youthful. Like it felt like I had just played basketball for the first time. I fell in love with it again. And her presence was felt. I just, it was, it was cool. The music felt like the best music I ever heard. I felt like Tame Impala and Black Coffee came together.
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37:17Jay Shetty:You've talked before about this idea of survivor's guilt from that time. How is that? changed over time. It's just different. I mean, I feel like there's always survivor's guilt. You know, it's one of those things that if my mom didn't get in, I got it early on, maybe I would have done better. You know, younger athlete, maybe I would have, you know, had a better chance. And all the family I haven't been able to see, I think more of my survivor's guilt comes from more of the family and my mom not being able to see these moments, the championship, getting engaged. Married. Yeah, like kids, you know, not having kids now, but like, you know, in the future, having kids, like being there for that process and everything.
37:58Like, you know, I feel that's more of like the guilt I have because I know these are moments she would really want to experience. And it wasn't God's timing. It wasn't my time for her to see that. You know, she got to see my sister have the kids, live her life ups and downs. Like she got to see that. And for me, you know, she got to see me reach the pinnacle of basketball, which is make the NBA, make all-star game, make another one. You know, it was like one of those things. She's seen me, but that never really defined me as it always defined me as my whole entire life. Like I said, since I was young, I was told to be a basketball prodigy.
38:37And as life goes on and experience and experience and experience goes by, I realized it never defined me about who I am. and I'll leave you with this quote. What I do gets more attention than who I am, even though who I am is more important than what I do.
38:53Jay Shetty:I fully agree. And I just, I believe that. And over years and years of being told you're this basketball prodigy, you're really good at basketball. I was like, is that it? Is that all you get from doing this is being told you're good at basketball? What about like, how many communities have I helped? How many people have I served? That's your leadership style. You got to live by that too. So it was something that I realized basketball didn't define me once I went through experience and experience got in the NBA, did some of the things I've dreamed of, seen the hardships that come with it. And then when I lost her, it didn't come close to defining me anymore.
39:31I realized it didn't mean as much as I thought it did.
39:34Jay Shetty:Yeah. What you just said is the exact reason I started this podcast. I wanted a space that people could come and talk about their purpose, talk about who they were more than what they did. and talk about the human behind the high performance and talk about the heart behind the championships and the wins. And I actually saw an interview. I was about to go on stage. This is eight years ago before I launched the show. Tom Brady was speaking before me and he was being interviewed and I was backstage waiting to go on stage. And the interviewer just kept, he kept trying to talk about meaningful things.
40:08Jay Shetty:And the interviewer just kept saying, talk about the rings, Tom, talk about the rings. and you could tell that Tom was trying to talk about meaningful things and he just wasn't allowed and I was like oh got it like we just want people to be what we think and this 2D version of who they are and not letting them be there so I appreciate you opening up so much because as I'm listening to you I'm like this is why we started this is for you to be able to say that and it's going to help so many people a lot of people too because a lot of times you know mental health is real. And I also think a lot of times people just want to be heard and they never really feel heard because people are never willing to actually say the real things.
40:48They want to come out on podcasts and stuff like that and be cool. What is quote unquote cool? You know, don't care, relax, chill. Oh yeah. You know, I've, you know what I'm trying to say? I do this. I do that. That's it, man. Like, nah, like we really people and we really have different ways we got to this point to the story and all these seats have stories and all these seats have a reason why the person is the person and just takes a little bit of time just to be able to like let them open up and explain why they are the way they are you've talked before about this idea of how you didn't want to go to therapy because you weren't ready to talk and then you just be sitting
41:28Jay Shetty:there has as your view on that change does that help i think therapy is great i just think that for me therapy wasn't what I needed in the conventional sense yeah I got therapy looks different yeah I got therapy in a different way I got therapy in someone I really trust someone I call like a sensei uh Arnie Kander he's the head of magic um of the Orlando magic health uh sports side oh cool and their PT you know the the health and uh strength and conditioning he's the head of there and he's always been like a sensei to me he was best friends with my mom as well my dad They talked all the time. He's always been like a second father to me.
42:06I just kind of leaned on him for those really hard hitting questions because I'm able to be open with him. I'm able to tell him any little thing in my life and feel it's safe. and I didn't think I needed the conventional of getting a therapist in the city, in Minnesota, sitting down, doing that when I could just go in my office, call Arnie and allow him to like hear my thoughts and give me honest feedback and maybe things. And we've had really deep conversations, some really dark, some just saying how I'm doing, like think really good. and he's been vital for me just in my life because he was doing this before anything, even when she was here.
42:51I didn't think therapy the conventional way was good for me. I didn't think it would be as beneficial as having already someone I trusted that I was willing to really spill my heart out to and understood that my heart was not gonna be, the cup wasn't gonna be given to someone else for their benefit. It was a true, I'm gonna hear you out like a son and I'm gonna give you an unbiased opinion and I'm going to give you a monk opinion as well. So I was, I was appreciative. I'm always appreciative for him. I talked to him a lot. He's like a second dad to me. And it's, it was one of those things. So I think therapy is great.
43:26And I think a lot of people miss the opportunity to really step outside with, with less baggage.
43:34Jay Shetty:I had the opportunity to speak to Kobe Bryant. Kobe would talk about Phil Jackson. And it's like that kind of mentorship. it's actually quite special to sport yes i find like athletes when you find like the right coach yeah even the way you're speaking about your coaches and yeah pts like what you've learned over time it's like it's a special relationship and i think the majority of the world who don't have coaches or people in their life that they look to for guidance like in other careers you don't have that yes and that's why i think it becomes a therapist is a great option because like you said there's certain people you run into in life that are just wired differently yeah and able to do some special things.
44:12They have special talents. That's why we're all the top of our game and they have special talents that utilized in the right way can take you to another level. I feel like Arnie's special talent was relationships and his ability to listen and come back at a different mindset. And he's very, you know, he spent time with the monks. He's been, you know, has the Catholic background, Christian background, Buddhistic background, very like natural based everything like the ground is that the soil like everything's like alive you got to be very very respectful of everything when i leave he's the reason when i leave hotel rooms i thank the hotel room for allowing me to live in the hotel room like little things like that like that mindset and i just i'm forever grateful for him what i love about that is you just wouldn't
45:01Jay Shetty:expect it yeah that's surprising you're being grateful to a hotel room yeah literally and And Jordan, when she was like, when we first went to the hotel, she was like, who are you talking to? And I was like, nobody. Oh, you're saying it out loud, too. Yeah, yeah. I say it out loud. So, you know, I thank the room. I thank you for allowing me to live in here. Thank you for blessing this energy and this time. And I walk out and close the door. Let's talk about Jordan, because you've been mentioning it the whole time. Oh, God, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about how you met. How did you actually? Over Uno.
45:29Jay Shetty:No way. Literally. In L.A. Just you two? Yes. It was me, her, and my friend, Chucky. Okay. I beat both of them. You did? I didn't let her win one time. Has she beat you since? No comment. Who made the first move? Who was like... She's going to say, in a way, it was me. And she knows damn sure it was her. She made the first move. So, obviously, it was... I guess, in a way, it was mutual. You were talking about earlier before when we started, this idea of how you don't see relationships last that long always. Yeah, especially like, yeah. NBA player with a woman that's heavily involved in Hollywood and everything like that doesn't ever seem like a recipe that works.
46:12What makes it work for you guys? How have you found it? Because we wanted to work and our whole relationship was based off of a friendship of two and a half years of no romantic, no anything. It was just strictly platonic, like how we're just great friends. We vibe with each other. We know that we're here for each other. I think, you know, just for us, it's always fun that we truly do enjoy each other's presence. and we do love hanging out with each other with doing nothing, you know, simple. And I think that's what makes a special relationship when you truly enjoy each other's presence, but it's more of a friendship.
46:44Like I enjoy just hanging out, doing nothing. We don't even have to say a word to each other, but she could be watching TV. I could be on my phone playing a game or she could be on her phone playing a game and I'm watching YouTube and none of us complain about anything. We're just happy to be next to each other. So it's pretty cool.
47:01Jay Shetty:What's one thing she's taught you and one thing you've taught her? She's taught me a lot. And I think one of the greatest things she taught me was how good sushi is. But I would say from a real aspect of emotional, everyday living, she's really taught me how boundaries can be safe. They don't have to be so aggressive. When you hear the word boundaries, you think of it as an aggressive block. But she makes it seem that you can have healthy boundaries that work for everybody and make you feel good as well. I think I'm a patient person. I feel like she's helped me understand patience is a good thing as well.
47:43Because sometimes I am very patient and she's very patient. So we both could kind of like it. So it allows me to like take that competitive edge of when she gets impatient and be like, it's okay, just relax. I think for me to her, I believe she would say just through all the bad that the life throws at you and all the obstacles and the trials and tribulations. She always talks about how I bring that youth into an energy, into a room where it doesn't seem like things are so bad and just kind of keeping it very cheerful and positive and youthful. I think that's really what she loves is that, you know, I kind of make her bring that inner child back out, even at the age that we are now where it doesn't have to be so serious.
48:29Like we're in Target. Let's go have a lightsaber fight around Target. Like, why? Yeah, of course. How do you get away with that? Minnesota. It's not New York. So are we doing stuff like that or putting her in the shopping cart in Target and just doing laps around Target? just stupid kid stuff you would do. And, you know, now that we finally found each other in this world and we found each other at this time, we don't have to act older because we met older.
48:59Jay Shetty:Yeah. You know, we can still bring that youth back into our lives and just little things like that. I love hearing that, by the way. I mean, it sounds beautiful and I'm so happy that you guys get married. It's huge. I feel like her orange bag became its own all-star. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's the greatest. That may be the greatest clothing article ever. That may be one of the greatest things in New York history for sure. It has to be the greatest bag ever made, the greatest piece of article of clothing ever. I mean, it must be up there with like George Washington coming to America, established in the United States.
49:35It's something special. It needs to be in a museum here. In a museum?
49:38Jay Shetty:Is she willing to give it up for a museum? I mean, that's like one of the greatest pieces ever. So, I mean, what, Guggenheim has to do it, I would feel. I feel like Guggenheim has to be the best place. I mean, Smithsonian is, like, up there with, like, dinosaurs and stuff. How did you feel when she couldn't get it in to the game where obviously Trump came? You know, I knew it was real when my teammates said, is she going to still bring the bag? No way. My teammates were still asking about the bag. Did it feel hard that day when she couldn't bring it in? It was just off. The day was off. You don't see the bag.
50:08You know, you can't really drive into MSG. You got to go to a hotel and then drive in with a bus and you're used to just driving yourself into MSG. So it was just a weird day. It was different.
50:17Jay Shetty:It's crazy that the bag had that much power. Right, the bag. The bag has all the power. I'm giving all credit to the bag. Woods by Jordan Bag got it done. I'm not going to lie to you. Tell me another piece of clothing, right? Article of clothing that you've ever seen have that consistent of a result. Like, I don't know. It's true. I can't think of anything. That's what I'm saying. Like, think about it. That Woods by Jordan Bag went through the greatest comeback in finals history. It went through in the Eastern Conference Finals, came back again from 20 plus, which is the largest comeback, I think.
50:48It went 13, what, 13? Well, if you count the game, the game we lost, she didn't bring the bag. So what, that's 15 games in a row? One, still counting with the bag there? Because next year we go and do it again? I'm glad your teammates agree, too. That's the part that was funny. You know how crazy it is to get men to agree on a woman's bag being that lucky? Like that never happens. Like JB, JC, OG, Josh Hart, everybody was like, yo, is the bag going to make it? Like we got to find a way to do this.
51:21Jay Shetty:Where's the bag now? Is it safe? That bag is resting. Jordan says it to see. She's resting. She's right now going to enjoy her off season. I think she's going to retire. I think she's going to retire on top. She's going to hand a memo and like Michael Jordan and just be like, I'm done. It's over. We have to find a new one for next year. I know, I know. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Health AI. We've got to talk about those panicked internet searches. You know, the ones that I'm talking about when something about your body just doesn't seem right. So you search and search and scroll and scroll and trying to figure out your body by endlessly looking for answers.
51:58Jay Shetty:Thankfully, now there's Amazon Health AI. It can connect your symptoms with your medical history and it can even get you care 24 seven. So call off the search. Amazon Health AI is here. Healthcare just got less painful. How did it feel when you were actually being traded from Minnesota? That was a wild moment. That was a wild moment, especially when I seen everybody that morning. So it was a wild thing. I would say the honest feeling at the moment was I was shocked that my career in Minnesota ended like that. Like no warnings, no signs, no one in NBA knew. It was not a murmur or whisper or nothing.
52:36just in the dark happened. And usually, you know, you think you'll see the ending. You'll see the end of the book, you know? And I didn't know the book was ending on me and I was the one that was part of it. I thought I was the author and I became the character in the book. So I was kind of shocked that my career was ending. I remember being told in my house that I go to my office, I see my achievements in Minnesota and I was like, that's just how it ends. Just snap of the finger, you're done. Bye, gotta go. and that's why it was a weird feeling. I look back at it now and of course I wanted to win a title there.
53:13I wanted to be there the rest of my career. I made it clearly known that I wanted to do that but maybe I had to go and get traded somewhere else. Maybe I had to go somewhere so I could show my true value and true worth to the world and I'm just honored that New York gave me a chance to do that and I'm glad I was able to repay that belief for a championship.
53:36Jay Shetty:Yeah, we always hear that phrase, like, rejection is just redirection. Yeah. And I'm like, you're living it right now. To go through that moment of feeling like, I love what you just said, like, from going from being the author to being the character, but then the character gets to go and write a new story. The character found the, he got a sequel to the book, and if I wasn't going to be the author, I wanted to make sure I was the main character, and the character was actually driving the story. And I thought it was, it's a humbling thing. It's a humbling thing to be able to look back at it now and smile about what happened.
54:11Got the championship. I was able to be back home. I was able to be with my mom's mom and stuff like that. But I would be lying if there's not a bittersweet feeling that it wasn't, you know, at Target Center, holding that trophy, having the parade down First Ave over there and seeing the Minnesota fans that raised me since I was a kid, you know, and to see me now as a man not be able to bring that to them. That does bring me some pain inside.
54:37Jay Shetty:Maybe one day. I don't know. I don't think so. I don't know what life got for me. I always say it's on God's timing. I don't know. I'll see what he has planned for me. Tell me about who made you feel most welcome at the Knicks? JB and everyone really welcomed me a lot. OG was very welcoming. I remember he was the first person I got to like, he invited me over to his house and I was able to like talk to him. So I was not aware OG didn't talk. because my first day with OG, we had a great conversations and we're laughing and talking. And I only realized when we got to training camp, I was actually to be like, wow, he does not talk.
55:12But he talks to me a bunch. So they were really welcoming me, me in. And I think what was also great was, you know, earning the respect of them as a man and as a player from afar, I was able to walk in and be myself right away. And then, and I feel like I had to be like, like I was stepping on toes or anything like that. But obviously it's an adjustment. I didn't know everybody there. I only knew Matt Ryan was the only teammate I had in Minnesota, so we had familiarity with each other, but everyone else was new to me. TJ Warren, I've known a while, so I kind of felt familiar with it, but I never really got to know Josh Hart for Josh Hart.
55:50I never knew I got to know OG. I never, Jalen and me have a ton of respect from far away, not actually as teammates, as hanging out. so it was great it was great to like feel that welcome energy and it was great to be able to be allowed to affect change right away especially with the way my season started last year
56:10Jay Shetty:we have a fun game we made for you this is called the courtside stress test but you're not a stressed out guy so it might be called the courtside excitement test so what you have to do is on a scale of 1 to 10 you have to tell me how stressed or excited you were to have this person courtside in the mixed game oh this is a good one, I like it Mariska Hargitay I see her and start smiling. So I probably would say like a seven or six because right when you see her, you go dun-dun. But it was cool to understand how close everyone is too. Okay, so Adam Sandler. I would say eight. Spike Lee. Eight. Yeah, eight, nine.
56:44Fat Joe. Come on, that's Mr. Fat Joe. But he's not Fat Joe anymore. He's more like Skinny Joe. Okay. I would say more like seven. Timothy Chalamet and Kylie Jenner. It was great to see Timmy. I love seeing Timmy. I get more like laughy with Timmy and I see Timmy and Kylie's awesome. So seven. Sydney Sweeney. Seven. Tina Fey. Tina Fey is funny. I love Tina Fey. We were a game four together. Eight.
57:06Jay Shetty:Eight. Okay, very cool. Ben Stiller. Nine. Tracy Morgan. Nine. Taylor Swift. Eight, seven. And I'm saying eight, seven, because I mean, you're genuinely excited just to see anyone who comes new to the game. Larry David. Oh yeah, eight. He was awesome. Jerry Seinfeld. Eight. Donald Trump. He was in courtside, so that was a trick question. Jimmy Fallon. Oh, eight. That's awesome. You did great. All these people are great. I just feel like those nines is like Ben Ben is such a iconic Knicks fan and also he's such an amazing guy so I feel like he's a nine I feel like Spike Lee's a nine I'm gonna give him a shout out Al Palagonia is a nine and he knows exactly why.
57:48The only person that would be a 10 I get excited about is Jordan. I only get excited I get a 10 for Jordan's the only one who gets a 10.
57:55Jay Shetty:That's beautiful, man. I love that. I'm just happy my dad's there. So I'm super happy. I would say he's a 10 too. My dad and Jordan, I'm blessed to say this. And I had a guy who told, a friend of mine who told me this, he's a pastor. And he said, I love how normal it is for you to see your dad. That's something I never got to live. So I think for me, it's a, I would say I'm more grateful as at a 10 to see my dad at the games. I'm always excited to see him at the games, but I love and I'm blessed that. It's a normal thing. And to see Jordan at my games, it gets me really excited. I mean, that's my best friend.
58:31So that's only when I get to 10.
58:32Jay Shetty:What a great answer. I'm glad I asked you all of that. Only you would take it to that level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm getting to know you a little bit today. I'm like, only you would take it to that level. I want to focus the last few questions on mindset when you're in the playoffs, when you're down and out. It felt like every game you guys were the underdogs. Yeah, every series. Every game, every series. You guys are behind. You're coming back. Like, how do you, like, from a pure mental performance perspective, or even, I mean, you're a philosopher, so go there if you want to go there, but how do you find that gear when you're down and you're the underdog?
59:06Jay Shetty:What are you doing? Where are you finding that extra gear? Just competitive nature. Just not wanting to lose, not wanting to let down the city, these fans. I mean it when I said it after the game, too. Like, they're putting their 9-5s, life savings. they think it's a joke their kids tuition online to watch us play at msg you don't want them to go away and not feel like they got a show or at least had something to cheer for it's our duty as players it's our job as players to uh make sure that we continue to give them something to cheer for and as men as competitors you know every day in new york your your your respect is on the line and you have to continue to earn it every single day.
59:49They don't care about what happened last game. They care about what's happening today. And every day you got to go and earn your respect.
59:56Jay Shetty:Yeah. The tough fans. And that's the end of the best fans. And look what those fans did for us now. Every day that, that kind of, um, I would say positive fear, it makes you get on that court and do everything you can to earn their respect. And And in doing that, you get 1 % better, you get 1 % better, you get 1 % better. And now you're sitting at a parade yesterday, you know, and our fans always show up. If they see the work and effort you're putting in every single day, they're going to make sure that you feel welcome, then you feel special. Everything I've learned from you today, I'm like, you're so present, so intentional.
1:00:30Jay Shetty:What does your prep look like for a big playoff game? What is your morning routine, evening routine? Walk me through how you're... I'm not going to lie, the routine's the same regardless, even in playoffs. What is it? What does it look like? Be the first one at the gym. If we have shoot around at 11, I'll be there at seven, work on my body. Work on my body and stuff like that. Turn the lights on in the practice facility, maybe get a lift, go and shoot on the court before shoot around, do the shoot around, shoot a little bit after, go back home, have some pasta, have a smoothie, get sleep, wake up an hour before I have to leave, you know, shower up, get relaxed, play some music.
1:01:10get dressed, head out to the game, and the game's what, at 7.30. I'll usually get there around like 4.30, 4.15. I'll be the first one there and just work on my body again, get treatment, get warmed up, feel good, mentally be engaged. Before the game, honestly, I could be doing anything other than basketball. It's always like everything but basketball. Like, you know, when I'm there in that time, I'll watch the tape, make sure I understand my opponents a little better, maybe little things that I could pick up on the court to help lead us on defense and offensively, maybe see little things that change up.
1:01:45So kind of coaching on the court as well, relaying back to the coaches, hey, they're about to be in zone. They're about to be a man. They're about to trap. They're about to do this. And how do we want to adjust to that? Helping JB out as much as possible and doing all the logistical work out there. Yeah. And after that is really such different things in basketball. Could be looking at sports cards. Could be looking at trading cards. Could be talking to Jordan about something completely different than basketball. It could be watching YouTube. I could be watching highlights, YouTube golf. I could be watching the podcast, you know?
1:02:20So I could be doing a lot. So I do everything other than the basketball part and just kind of get my mind away because I'm gonna have enough time to be in the present because once I'm locked in, I'm locked in. And Jordan says, this is the first year of all my years that I've actually acknowledged her in the game. Because I'm so locked in that you're talking about, you know, what was the game about the celebrity row? I don't see anybody.
1:02:41Jay Shetty:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't see anyone on the court. I don't see the fans. I don't see none of that. It's all just shadows to me. And all I see is this court that's lit with 10 people on it are playing basketball. And that's all I see. So there's people you were saying there. I was like, I don't think they come. Like, great story is we're playing in San Antonio and Timmy, Timmy is my guy. Timmy is like my white brother that I didn't know I had. So I'm talking to Timothee Chalamet and he was like, Carl, you are so locked in all the time. I know you don't be seeing me. And I said, yeah, so Timmy, I didn't know you were in San Antonio.
1:03:18Timmy goes, Carl, I was one seat away from you in Chromeheart jeans and you didn't even notice me. And I was looking at you and screaming and you were so zoned out. I said, Timmy, I swear to God, I didn't even know you were at the game. Timmy was like at the end of our bench, there's a seat right here. He's literally right next to me. In every photo, he's right next to me. I have no idea Timmy's there. And Timmy told me after the game, Jordan calls me, she was like, hey, did you and Timmy talk after the game? He was at the game. I said, what game? Like, what are you talking about? And we have a group chat and Timmy's like, yo, I was right next to you, bro.
1:03:58I promise you, I was right next to you. He shows me a whole Getty image where we're next to each other. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to be like, I'm just, he's like, bro, no, I know that. We see each other all the time. We're having dinners and stuff. He always brings up, he goes, I've never realized how locked in someone can be until I've been with you. And you're like, literally, when you say you don't see anybody, you see nobody.
1:04:20Jay Shetty:That's awesome, man. You see nobody. And the only person I've ever, I ever see on the court, on the sidelines is Jordan. Other than Jordan, I see nobody. and Jordan will look at me and I'll look at her and she'll be like, you're doing great. And I'm like, maybe I'm not doing great. She'll be like, you're doing great. I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm not doing that good right now, but I'm gonna pick it up right now. So she's always a sense of encouragement for me or also saying that I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do, stay in this mindset. I love that visual you just painted of how you see nothing else apart from 10 guys.
1:04:53Jay Shetty:I see nothing but the hoops, the light on the court and 10 people. And then the court feels like, you know, it feels like a massive court to start the game. And then as the game goes, it gets shorter and shorter. And then all of a sudden, I feel like, you know, it's not that much of runs that we're doing as the game goes along. As you get more accustomed, you know, we say we get comfortable into the game. You ease into the game. We love seeing you in a Knicks jersey, but I know the Dominican jersey means a lot to you. Yes, it does. It does. How much would it feel to put on that jersey and take it to the Olympics?
1:05:26I would love it. That's one of my dreams, man. I just was able to accomplish my dream here in America. I won an NBA championship, but to be able to take the Dominican team to the Olympics would be one of my greatest honors. Yeah, it'd be amazing to see you do that, man. Like I said, it's on God's timing, but I feel our time is coming. I feel that the island deserves to see themselves on that Olympic floor.
1:05:47Jay Shetty:Yeah. I wanted to ask you also about someone that you knew well. People loved him for his music. You knew him as a person, Mac Miller. Mac Miller, yeah. My brother, yes. I love him. Was there anything he said to you? anything a lesson a message a conversation you had with him that stayed with you because you noticed so much about these people and carry them in your heart he was really my favorite artist of all time wow of all time and before i even knew him he was my favorite artist i bought the merch i went to spencer's i went to hot topic i had pictures of my mom wearing his merch you know maybe it was something he said if you if you're asked there's a bunch of things he just taught me how to just live life be yourself people always will appreciate that from you because he always but you see when he passed, everyone had good things to say about him.
1:06:30He was just so genuine in his approach to people. And I remember he would show me, you know, music he had been working on and unreleased songs I still haven't seen the light of day. And he would show me, I'm like, man, this is great, man. This is so good. It could be taken as a way of thinking about life, but he was only looking at the music. He goes, man, everything sounds good loud, but when there's no noise, how does it sound? and I think in a way in life it's like when you're in front of the cameras and there's a bunch of noise and cameras and reporters seeing you do these amazing things like of course everyone wants to say it's awesome it looks great but when there's no cameras there when the noise is low are you willing to still be that person are you willing to still do those things for people that people say you do even when it's not reported and you get none of the shine or none of the marketing from or anything like are you really this person that they say or not maybe he was on to something i'm just thinking about it now sitting with you i'm sitting down thinking about you it could be taken
1:07:33Jay Shetty:as a life lesson i think that's a great life lesson i think that's the most important one i just got a message from someone that when i first started my career they had a big radio show and they invited me on in london and i was like just starting out and he just messaged me and i was i was helping him out with something now and he goes dude the reason why i love you is because you still remember how I helped you out back then. And I was like, yeah, man, how can I forget? Like, you know, for me, that was like one of the biggest moments of my career then. And so to me, that's what life is made of.
1:08:01Jay Shetty:It's like those memories and moments of where you built with people and they stayed with you when you had nothing and they'll be with you when you have everything and nothing again. For sure. When I was coming up, I remember being on the newspaper where I'm from and Mr. Haley, I'll never forget, he texted me the other day and he was telling me about how it was awesome to see your journey when you were like growing up, covering my dad in his high school when he was playing and then covering my dad again as a coach and now got to cover me as a player and coming up under as his son. John was just talking about it and he was just saying like after the thing, you know, he would never expect me to reach back out to him.
1:08:41And I was like, no, just text me and I appreciate you. And I just thank him for giving me those chances because at that time, like you said, it was the biggest moment of my career to be in your city's newspaper, to be in that newspaper in Central Jersey. I was like, man, I'm on top of the world, man. So I never forget that.
1:09:01Jay Shetty:Carl, I could talk to you for hours. Honestly, you're my type of human, man. I appreciate you, man. That means a lot. The thoughtfulness, the reflection, the amount you've learned from every single person in your life, it's really unbelievable. I can't wait for you to write a book one day and go into all of this. I'm being serious. I'm going to need a few words from you then. I'm right there to help. Honestly, I feel like you have so much to offer, so much to give. I'm so excited for all the young people that look up to you and admire you and can learn from you in all facets of life. But we end every episode on purpose with a final five.
1:09:32Jay Shetty:These questions have to be answered in one sentence maximum. And we ask it to every guest on the show. Okay, so five questions in one sentence. Yeah, Carl Anthony Townsley's your final five. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? Live in the present because the future is not guaranteed. Second question, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received? You can't do this without me. That's a great one. Who said that? Can you tell us? A lot of people. Name one. That's a great answer. Question number three, what's something that you used to value that you don't value anymore?
1:10:03I thought money would solve all problems and it would make me the happiest version of myself. I got the money, didn't save my mom, didn't save my family members. So what good was it? the money never brought the happiness. It was the fact that the money bought the vacation to bring the people. So if you think about it, the people was bringing the happiness, never the money. Realize it didn't mean that much. And it really never did. It's always been about people. Humans have always came from interaction. We've always found wealth in that. And somewhere in the line, we thought currency was going to change the value of human interaction.
1:10:46It's always going to be the number one thing you could do in your life is listening, talking, interacting.
1:10:53Jay Shetty:Question number four, this is about overthinking. Repeat after me and complete the sentence. I think, I think too much about. I think, I think too much about the things that I can't handle or I can't control. Fifth and final question we ask is to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Treat people the way you want to be treated. Simple. if you do that simply we should be just fine I don't know where along the way we started adding all these stipulations and stuff but it was just a simple rule simple law treat people how you would like to be treated we would all be in a better spot amazing I have something I want to gift to you actually a gift oh it's there you want to bring it in?
1:11:37Jay Shetty:throw it we have a special gift from Gatorade and I don't think you've seen this yet no I have not guava lemonade That is my favorites, actually. You were telling me Guava earlier. Yes. Who was it that got you on a Guava? Jada Pickett-Smith. Auntie Smith. Auntie Jada. Yeah. A BetterHelp ad. Have you ever had so many tabs open that your computer starts slowing down? Ten for work, five for family, one for that thing you've been meaning to figure out, 20 more are running quietly in the background. Life can feel like that, too. According to BetterHelp's 2026 State of Stigma report, 85 % of Americans say getting support is a smart thing to do, Yet 74 % say society still discourages people from asking for help.
1:12:21Jay Shetty:And more than 3 in 4 Americans reported symptoms of anxiety or depression in the past two weeks. Therapy can help you sort through what's taking up space and attention. With BetterHelp, you can connect with a licensed therapist online on your schedule. You'll be matched based on your needs, and you can switch therapists anytime. In fact, 69 % of BetterHelp users showed meaningful improvement in anxiety and depression. Maybe it's time to close a few tabs. Visit BetterHelp.com. That's better H-E-L-P dot com. Legally, we can't say drinking Storm makes you smarter and more focused. But with zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine, and immunity support, you're smarter and more focused for drinking Storm.
1:13:00Storm, good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.
1:13:04Jay Shetty:Carl Antetown's champion. I appreciate you, man. Thank you, man.
From the publisher
Karl-Anthony Towns has spent his life chasing championships, but his greatest lessons came far from the basketball court. In this heartfelt conversation with Jay Shetty, he reflects on grief, faith, family, and the moments that shaped the man behind the jersey. From honoring his late mother's legacy to embracing God's timing, discovering purpose beyond success, and building a love rooted in friendship, this episode is a moving reminder that who you become matters far more than what you achieve.
Sometimes the greatest victories aren't the ones the world celebrates, they're the quiet moments when you choose to keep moving forward with hope.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
A State Farm agent can help you choose the coverage you need. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Visit: https://www.statefarm.com/
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What We Discuss:
00:00:00 Intro
00:00:51 Winning an NBA Championship
00:03:13 What Comes After Your Biggest Goal?
00:06:12 Slowing Down to Celebrate
00:07:38 The Walk That Changed Everything
00:11:17 Choosing Calm and Forgiveness
00:14:48 Finding Peace in Quiet Moments
00:17:03 Everyone Sees the World Differently
00:18:42 Confidence Starts at Home
00:20:09 Losing Family During COVID
00:22:42 A Final Conversation with Mom
00:26:12 Letting Go with Love
00:27:23 Making Every Moment Special
00:28:50 "You Should've Drank More"
00:31:24 Feeling Her Presence Again
00:31:48 Living with Survivor's Guilt
00:34:05 Everyone Wants to Be Heard
00:35:51 When Therapy Looks Different
00:38:04 The Coach Who Changed Everything
00:39:53 A Love Story Over Uno
00:40:27 From Friends to Forever
00:41:32 What We Learned from Each Other
00:44:22 The Luckiest Bag in Basketball
00:46:09 Traded Without Warning
00:48:43 Feeling Welcome in New York
00:50:06 The Ultimate Courtside Stress Test
00:52:48 Bouncing Back from Failure
00:54:26 The Pre-Game Routine
00:59:12 Playing for the Dominican Republic
00:59:42 Carrying Your Country with Pride
01:01:28 The Moments People Remember
01:03:24 Karl Anthony on Final Five
Episode Resources:
YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/c/KarlAnthonyTowns
Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/karlanthonytowns/
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/karltowns
X | https://x.com/KarlTowns
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