Matthew Hussey: The #1 Dating Mistake Keeping You Stuck (Focus On THIS Over Chemistry and Build a Lasting Relationship)

28:47It's like that in our love lives. When we go around saying, who's the one for me, we are missing the point that what we do is we find a human being where there's enough of the good stuff, enough of the values and the compatibility, a much underrated thing. If chemistry is overrated, compatibility is woefully underrated. love is not all you need compatibility is all you need we find people and we expect so much on day one and I think that like great sex it should get better over time you meet someone and they learn you and you learn them and it gets better because you learn each other that to me is what a relationship is like so it's finding someone with enough of the raw materials enough of the things that make you go oh, this kind of works.

29:41I feel more myself around you. I feel at home in the best way. I don't feel like I'm trying to be something that I'm not to impress you. I see you, you see me. It kind of, there's something interesting here. And I think if we can get curious about those feelings, instead of looking for this kind of otherworldly feeling, we'll realize how many people we could actually work with. And then it starts to get really interesting because you realize there's a lot more ones than you knew. And you don't start with the one. Someone ends up as the one. I think that's the difference. They don't start as the one.

30:22They end up being the one because of what you've built together. And now you look back and they go, oh, look, they're the one but not on day one i i think love at first sight is a very very dangerous concept like love at first sight is such an insult to two people who have been married for 30 years you know what i mean yeah it just they're the one okay tell that to two people who have been married for decades and have like weathered storms and one of them got sick and the other one drove them to the hospital every week and their relative had a drug problem and you had to put up with that relative with the drug problem because this is the love of your life but you figured it out together and you like that that to me is love love isn't i went on a date and now like oh my god i feel the best i've ever felt i think that's so powerful and what a great perspective because yeah i was thinking about that as you were saying that you know when me and riley first got together and then we got engaged and got married.

31:20I thought I knew her, but it's actually through the last nine years we've been married, 12 years we've been together, that I actually feel like I understand how little I knew her when I said I love you, which is a really fascinating journey to go on to your point, where it's like the day we got married was not the day I loved her the most. It actually wasn't even possible, even though I may have said that on that day. and it's now when we moved to a new country and didn't have any family or friends and when we were four months away from being broke and she said I trust you and then the next morning wanted to buy a plant right it was like moments like that it's moments like that and then you move to another place and you build community and you take care of your family and rush like it's it's all those moments where you go oh now I know what love means and now I'm building the skills and the toolkit of what it means to truly love you.

32:15And actually my biggest mistake was I also thought I knew you when we got married. And now I realise I didn't. So what I love about the advice you're giving of create it, you don't find it, is that that never stops. What you're saying never stops. And that's why it's great advice. Because if you had to find the one, that means you were done the moment you found that person. And that mindset creates such a fracture with reality, which is, wait a minute, you're going to have to create and build, using your words, create and build every 5, 10, 15, 20 years. It's never going to stop. And that requires discipline.

32:54It requires discipline and it requires being connected to your why, to your reasons why the relationship itself is important. I think that's one of the most missed things in so many relationships is I have these things I call emotional buttons, and they are basically how I access an emotion that I want to feel again. So, for example, there's a moment in the movie The Fighter with Mark Wahlberg and... Christian Bale. Christian Bale. Christian Bale, yeah. And there's a moment where Mark Wahlberg is, this is going to sound crazy specific, but this is how emotional buttons are. Mark Wahlberg is about to go into his last fight, and he's nervous, and his brother comes up to him, and he puts his head on his head, and he just rocks with him.

33:51And the crowd is going crazy, and you can feel the chaos and the nerves, and his bigger brother just comes and makes him feel safe. and that scene, I get goosebumps as I say it, that scene, I cannot think of that scene without thinking about the kind of brother, I have two younger brothers, without thinking of the kind of brother I want to be to my brothers. My, no, I'm not going to say that one because that one's about Audrey and it's too, she doesn't know I have this emotional button, but it's, no because then no because it's a thing it's a it's a little thing she does if i say it she will stop doing it because she'll become aware of it and it makes me love her so much but it's a little thing she does and when she does it it really i feel a deep it's like a not rational thing i feel a deep deep sense of love for her and i want to like make her as happy as I possibly can.

34:48I get that because I think of that thing that she does, and it connects me. It connects me to my wife or why I want to show up differently in the relationship. And a lot of us don't have these emotional buttons, and we certainly don't use them consciously every day. Winston Churchill said, people occasionally stumble over the truth, but most pick themselves up and carry on as if nothing happened. We occasionally stumble over a moment of truth about why we love someone, about why they matter so much to us, about how much our relationship enriches and enhances our lives. If we don't understand what just happened that made us feel that and bottle that, we will move on as if nothing happened.

35:33And then the next time we feel it, it will be by chance. And if that's three months from now, you just went three months without connecting to that feeling, which is three months where you might be showing up in lesser ways to the relationship. On the other end of that, when is the work too much work? Because there's a spectrum on that. So on one side, we're saying, hey, we've got to create it. You've got to build it. You've got to work on it. And then I'm sure there are people in the audience going, I've been working on it for a few, or someone made me work on it for quite a while. And then I realized, when do you know it's too much work.

36:09Like, how do you know when you're at that end of the spectrum? I don't think there's any one moment. I think when we realize over time that we have shown up to the best of our ability, and we have tried to find a teammate in them, because you can't, you have to have a teammate for that. If you want something to change, you need a teammate in helping you make that change, or you need their participation in that. There are so many people trying to make a relationship better on their own. You need someone to be with you in that process. If you don't have a teammate, if you don't have someone who acknowledges...

36:49That's why being with a partner who doesn't value growth is so hard. Because you don't have to have someone who's perfect if you have a learner, someone who's humble, curious, willing to grow. but if over time someone shows a complete lack of willingness to figure this out with you and you've communicated that with them, that I think is its own form of closure. The problem for a lot of people is that they only really communicate how truly unhappy they are or how many things they've been struggling with on the day of the breakup. that, especially in a long-term relationship, that's not a fair thing to do to our partner.

37:35Like, I think we owe it to ourselves and to them to create the closure of, here's what I'm really struggling with, and I'm bringing this to you because I actually care about this relationship, and I feel safe enough to bring it to you and to have that conversation. but it's really affecting me and this is really you know it's affecting me in this way in this way in this way i need us to work on this i need us to take this seriously whatever that means whether you and i do it whether we do it with a coach or a therapist with whatever we do i need us to take this seriously this needs to be a priority for us you and me looking at the problem not you me looking at you as the problem you and me together looking at the problem and saying this is an issue.

38:21Can we figure this out? I think then if over a series of months you're like, I haven't got a partner in this process or things aren't getting better, one or the other, then you might make that decision. But even if you realize you do have a partner in the process, but it doesn't get better, at least your partner doesn't wake up one day to a complete ambush of having no idea any of this was a problem. And then all of a sudden they get hit with it all today. I think we owe it to each other for someone not to be surprised on the day that it ended about the things that made it end. Yeah, there's such a reality to communication being the hardest part, not because we're even bad people, but because we were just never trained in an emotional vocabulary, right?

39:15If you didn't see great love mirrored, you weren't able to mirror it. If the people in your life always just shut down when there was a problem, then you may shut down. Or like you said, not only do you only have the conversation on the day of the breakup, you only have the conversation as an argument. So it was never a conversation. It was an argument, a disagreement, a full-blown fight. It was never shared in that moment where maybe it could have been digested, maybe it could have been heard, maybe. And a lot of that, a lot of our fear of saying the thing that feels unspeakable is our desire for control.

39:57We're trying to control the situation. And when we're, like, a lot of us, and listen, no judgment, because I've done this several times in my life, and I'm not proud of it, but we are trying to protect ourselves and so we hold back and hold back and hold back and hold back. In the meantime, by the way, we're grieving. We're grieving the relationship. We're just not telling them that we're grieving the relationship or vice versa. I've also been on the other side of this and so have many of you. That's why someone can break up with you and then two weeks later they're with someone else. And you're like, how is that possible?

40:40How is it possible that you moved on so fast? They didn't move on so fast. They broke up with you six months ago. You're just hearing about it today. That's because they were trying to control it. It felt safe to them to control it until the last possible minute when they felt safe to leave. And then they left. but their controlling of it is what makes it such a traumatic thing for us and vice versa. So sometimes when we are unhappy in a relationship, we have to relinquish some control and allow things to break to maybe get better or not. But once you break it in some way with your partner in the process, you're also now not fully in control of the situation because they can't unknow what they know.

41:28Now that makes us have to live a little more dangerously. But that also might be the thing that makes us attracted to our partner again. Because now that they know, they might start doing some things. And you may not even love everything they do. But it might make you start to feel that jolt of like, you know, something again. Matthew, how's it, everyone? That was, wow. Turned up tonight, Matthew. All right. Before we let you go, because you've been on the podcast multiple times, which we usually end with the final five, We came up with a new version that you can join in on as well. It's called Vibe Check.

42:05And so I'm going to read out some scenarios in love relationships or dating. And the audience is going to decide first whether it's a vibe, which means yes, that's great, or not a vibe. So let me hear you say, it's a vibe. And then not a vibe. Nice. And then I'm going to ask Matthew whether he agrees or disagrees with the audience. All right. So Vibe Check, here we go. The first one. You're dating someone who always shows up, always listens, always texts back. They're kind, respectful, but the chemistry isn't there. You keep the relationship going because it's the first healthy relationship you've ever been in.

42:46Is it a vibe?

42:51I'm going to ask you to make noise on either one. So it's a vibe, make noise. Not a vibe, make noise. That was like mildly not a vibe one by a tiny amount. So they're saying it's not a vibe if you keep the relationship going because it's the first healthy relationship you've ever been in. I don't, listen, don't keep it going for like a year, but like give it maybe a you know a month to settle in like settle in and see if you can get used to this new feeling uh because it's a new feeling if you're used to like crazy chaos this will be boring for a minute no one no one comes off of drugs and then enjoys a sunset the next day.

43:44Great answer. You've been dating someone for six months. They treat you like a priority, talk about long-term potential, but haven't introduced you to any of their friends or family. And when you ask, they say it's still early. Make some noise if it's a vibe. it's not a vibe yeah very clearly not a vibe not a vibe when should that be happening with that conversation i mean listen there's certain situations that are different like if someone has kids complicated and you have to be respectful of the fact that someone might be taking a serious amount of time before introducing you to those but if you're talking about like their friends or their family, even just their friends.

44:29That's a weird thing after six months. If you haven't met anyone in their world to verify who this human being is. No, not a vibe. Definitely not a vibe. Great, I think we're all agreed on that. All right, last one for all of those who are struggling with dating out there. You've been seeing someone consistently, great dates, great connection, but they don't follow you on social media. They never post you. They say they like to keep their private life private is it a vibe is it not a vibe oh that's pretty equal right who was saying is a vibe is it a vibe make some noise wait for how they they don't did you say they don't follow you they don't follow you on social media come on they don't follow you it's nice listen it's one thing if someone's like, I don't, I mean, are they famous?

45:26If someone's like, very famous, and they're like, I don't want to post about you right now, because it's going to make your life miserable, trust me. But he's probably not famous. There's this whole trend right now about how if someone doesn't have social media and doesn't post, it's someone's Roman empire, right? It's like so attractive if someone... Yeah, I do think that. Listen, I don't think that it's necessary for them to post about you anytime soon. I do think that. And I think it's lovely when someone is just like, their private life is not out there in the world in that way. But it's a bit weird when they're not following you or they're sort of like not having any interaction, you know, I don't want to create any kind of feedback loop whatsoever.

46:15Suspicious. Tell my wife that. My wife started listening to On Purpose like last year. for the first time. That's kind of like not following me, right? Yeah. But to be fair, I don't think she's ever followed a single thing that I've done either. So I don't think she's just maybe not into this content. All right. Well, Matthew's been so kind that we're actually both going to take some questions from the audience. So Paige, where are you, Paige? There's Paige. Paige is up there. Make some noise for Paige, everyone. So Paige is going to come around. Raise your hand if you have a thoughtful, conscious, kind question and you haven't had too many drinks yet.

46:59Paige is going to find you and me and Matthew can take some of your questions. You can direct them at both of us, to Matthew. Whatever you like, he's here. So make the most of it. This is great advice, great insight.

47:16It's smart to always have a few financial goals and a really smart one you can set? Earning cash back on what you buy every day. And with Discover, you can. Get this. Discover automatically matches all the cash back you've earned at the end of your first year. Seriously. All of it. And we trust you to make smart decisions. I mean, after all, you listen to this show. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. Protect your pet with insurance from PetsBest. Plans start from less than a dollar a day. Visit petsbest.com. pet insurance products offered and administered by pets best insurance services llc are underwritten by american pet insurance company or independence american insurance company for terms and conditions visit www.petsbest.com backslash policy products are underwritten by american pet insurance company independence american insurance company or ms transverse insurance company and administered by pets best insurance services llc one dollar a day premium based on 2024 average new policy holder data for accident and illness plans pets age zero to ten who doesn't love warm carby comfort satisfying sandwiches, loaded bagels, rich mac and cheese.

48:16Crape-worthy and smart, Hero Bread's loaves, bagels, and noodles have just 0 to 5 gram snack carbs, 0 gram sugar, and up to 19 grams of protein and 32 grams of fiber per serving. Hero Bread bakes with heart-healthy olive oil and delivers a soft, fluffy, flavorful experience you love. Shop now on Hero.co. Use code IHEART for 10 % off. That's Hero.co. Per serving, not a low-calorie food. Some products contain allulose. See nutrition info on Hero.co for sodium and sugar content.

48:50What do you think is the secret sauce for like a long-term marriage? What's your name? Sahar. Sahar, nice to meet you. Where are you from? Houston. Awesome. Well, actually, from, sorry. What, in England? Yep. Oh, no way. Well, I think you should start with this one. You've had a long-term marriage. Longer term, yeah, to some degree. I'd honestly say the biggest thing that I've seen work for us and I've seen work for the couples I interviewed for my last book who've been together for decades far longer than we have is people who never tried to change each other respect means I'm not trying to change you I'm happy to watch you grow I'm patient while you grow but I'm not forcing you to become the person I want you to be or need you to be, I'm happy to let you have the freedom to be the person you are.

49:45Because over your relationship, people are going to play so many different roles. They're going to take on so many different hats. There's going to be so many different transitions that if I don't respect you and let you be who you are, that's going to be the reason why we can't be together. And those signs of who someone was were really evident in the beginning. You just shut them them out because the chemistry or the attraction overtook them. I'll give an example. For me, since Radhi's met me, my purpose has always been my number one priority. And my purpose didn't look like this when we met.

50:22It looked like me booking a tiny little room in London and speaking to five people on a Friday night. But Radhi knew that that was my priority. And ever since I met Radhi, I knew her priority was being with her family. She adores them. She loves them. She's the incredible bubbly human being because of the love that she has for her family. And at so many points in our life, my wife could have said, you work too hard, you focus too much on your purpose. And I could have said, well, we've built an amazing life. Why do you need to always go hang out with your parents? And those two things would have broken our relationship.

50:58But I understand that her family is what makes her the person I love. And she understands that me doing this is makes me the person that she loves. And so that's, that's normal. I love that answer. I love that. Hi, I'm Victoria from Houston. Hey, Victoria. A lot of Houston in the house. Thank you so much. I just want to know if you think cheating is forgivable, whether emotionally or physically. It's a nice, easy one. Matthew, why don't you go first? I should have gone first on that one. I think I heard Robert Greene once use the phrase, nobody ever does something once. If someone did something, assume it's a pattern, or that they've done it in the past many times.

51:48Now, I think that's really great survival. If I was handing out survival advice for life and human behavior, I would say that's a really, really important lesson. I also have to temper that logic with a bit of humanity and compassion for ourselves, which is that probably everyone in this room has done something in the past that they regret and wouldn't do again, and learned from, and wished they hadn't done. And that informed your life. It changed your life in some way. There's a British poet, David White, who can't stand the culture of hashtag no regrets that we all live in today. He said, anytime I hear someone say no regrets, I think, where have you been?

52:39Regret is actually important. It serves a very important function. When you regret how you treated someone in high school because you were mean to someone or you bullied someone and that affects you, it might change the way you treat people for the rest of your life. If you didn't regret it, you wouldn't change. Do I believe once a cheater, always a cheater? I think life's more complicated than that. And I think that part of having compassion for ourselves is realizing that other people are capable and worthy of forgiveness too. But, and there is a really, really, really big but here.

53:23It's not your job to fix what someone else broke.

53:34The trauma of that kind of betrayal is deep for most people. Extraordinarily deep. So if you betray someone in that way, if you want that relationship, you better understand the journey that is ahead. Because there is a long journey ahead. you are not in a sprint i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry that's a sprint you're in a marathon and you saying sorry might be an acknowledgement today it might help someone feel seen today but in six months it won't stop their emotional flashback it won't stop them having a revisit of these feelings a year from now when they think about that betrayal. And you're going to have to be along for that ride and respect the damage you have done and respect that your job now is to be an enormous part of the reparation of that damage.

54:46What I see routinely is people who have been cheated on trying to do the work for the both of them? Like, can I be back with them? I don't know. What are they saying right now? What are they saying? Are they saying, you know, I know what I've done. I know that this has caused deep damage. I know this is going to take a long time. I'm going to be with you the whole way. Not only that, I'm going to... the thing that happened for me, that what triggered that, it is never going to trigger me again in that way. That's never going to be my response to that trigger again because I'm going to go out and do the work to make sure that that's never my response to that trigger again.

55:40And that might mean therapy over time, might mean coaching over time. That is going to be a long journey for them. right there's a great line um jacob m broad said consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll realize how foolish it is to think you can change someone else how many of you at the beginning of every year set a resolution that's really really really important to you and then by the end of january you've broken it that was something you decided to change, and you couldn't stick to it. Now imagine being with someone who cheated, and even though they're sorry because it's inconvenient right now that the relationship is falling apart, they don't actually want to change the fundamental part of them that made them cheat in the first place.

56:28If they don't want to do that work, there's no amount of forgiveness on your side that will make any difference to this relationship whatsoever. So be forgiving. That's a very kind compassionate act don't be a fool

56:43mic drop no need to no additions that's a beautiful answer no need hello what's your name my name is this is my dream by the way to be here and meet you jay thank you so great for you how do you deal I think this is for Matthew since you're the dating expert not that I don't trust you jay but I haven't dated in a long time because it's been a lot of work to figure myself, deal with the traumas, blah blah blah and I'm in a place where like you would think that I'm ready to date because I am who, I know who I am but at the same time I'm 43 I'm independent, I pay my bills, I take myself on dates I accept my friend requests I mean, I love my company but then I also crave, I've always had a dream about having a partner.

57:38So it's like I want to meet somebody, but at the same time, I can do bad by myself. I don't want to get in a relationship where I have to build somebody up. I don't want to get in a relationship where I owe somebody or they feel like they're improving my life because right now I'm taking care of my life in every way. I don't mind eating alone. I buy myself flowers. I buy myself everything I want. and I'm not rich, but I'm happy. Got it. So how do I go out? Like, how do I start? Like, how do I, like, what do I do? I'm happy, but. Thank you. It's a wonderful thing that you have gotten to that point in your life where you know who you are.

58:27You've done all of this work on yourself and that there's a safety that you have created in the life that you have built. What I hear is that there's this other part of your life that you really want, that you keep saying you want, but it represents an area of life that you can't control the way you can control everything else. You can control your work. You can control how you take care of yourself. You can control the food you eat. You can control, you know, if one friend lets you down, you put your effort on another friend. Like, you've built all this safety. But at a certain point, what you call independence is really a desire to keep clinging to control.

59:25And by the way, that would be fine, Piavet, if you were incredibly content and happy and wanted nothing more from your life. But you do want something more, which is why you stood up in front of this whole room and expressed a desire to find a relationship. So you want more, but you're afraid of what a relationship could bring. And my guess is, the part of that is in learning to really trust yourself. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that what you're really afraid of is someone coming into your life who you, God forbid, like.

1:00:20And that locks everything up. Because all of a sudden, it feels like there is an element of your joy that you do not have complete control over. And maybe what's happened in the past is you have been in a situation where you like someone, and all of a sudden, and you felt very out of control because you couldn't trust yourself not to keep overgiving in a relationship, not to show up in ways that eventually meant that you got walked over or that your happiness was compromised. And so there's a desire never to return to that. And when we have a desire never to return to that, what we really say is, I just got to keep myself away from that temptation because I know if I get too close to it, it's not someone else will mess up my life.

1:01:18I will mess up my life. Because the reality is, and this is the important thing for you to remember, if you trust yourself, you don't need to worry about the impact anyone else is going to have on your life. You don't have to trust anyone else. people how do I how can I learn to trust again don't worry about it just trust you trust not that someone's never going to betray you or they're never going to come along and start taking too much or taking advantage of your generosity or that trust that the moment someone starts doing that you can have a boundary and if that boundary isn't respected you have the power to walk away when you trust yourself you don't need to worry about someone else coming in and screwing everything up the one thing that um that i learned in my through my cancer journey i'm a recent survivor is is that um i i don't they know how you said the whole no regret things i do have one regret but one thing that i learned is that to forgive myself for the regret or whatever i was to say well, that's the information I had at that time, and I made the best decision that time.

1:02:34And I know that me, I don't do things impulsively, that I'm very deliberate, I do all the research, so I need to trust myself in the future about what I did in the past. So where I'm at right now, I am glad you said that, because I just have to have faith that who I am today, that I've found who I am. You've already successfully protected yourself. Yes. You've already done it. So the fear that someone's going to come in and they're going to take, they can't. You already did it. You already achieved it. You're already fine on your own. So you can go back to that anytime you want. You just proved that with the life you've been living.

1:03:21Now go out there and make an actual impact because you didn't create all that safety so that you could never leave the house. You created all of that safety so that you could leave the house and you could go blow shit up and know that you could always come home if you had to. I think we've got time for one more question, Paige. My name is Maya Piotr. Nice to meet you, Maya. Thank you. It's nice to meet you too. I would like to ask, when you're looking for somebody who can just take you to the next level, I guess in the relationships that I've been in, I have, sometimes I feel like I love from a place of wanting to make someone else feel better or bring them up or show them love that maybe they haven't experienced before when I can see that somebody is hurting.

1:04:24but giving of my energy to the point where I feel drained and have lost myself I don't ever want to compromise like that again I think I want to be well I know that I want to be with somebody who can improve my life and my situation. And maybe my question is how not to let overgiving turn into something that's too costly, like my peace or my safety. Two things come to mind, Maya. the first is that that overgiving is something that's meeting a need for you it's working for you on some level and it's important to figure out what what that's doing it might make you feel safe because when you find someone who just needs a lot from you that's not the kind of person that will abandon you but when you actually go out and meet an equal that's scary as shit because that person can leave you just like Pia Vec can leave someone she's a scary woman she can leave right that makes her a force that makes her much scarier to date than someone who absolutely needs all of the help in the world.

1:05:54So it might be that for you right now, overgiving makes you feel safe, makes you feel indispensable. It might be that that's a model for love you've learned, that you only really feel safe in a situation where you're giving more than the other person is, that you're not worthy of being in a situation where someone just loves you for you and not because of everything you do all the time. The second thing I want to say is that you are, when you go into a situation trying to give like that because it seems nice and it seems like a kind thing to do and someone else needs you, there's another human being in that room that also needs you.

1:06:34When we're in a room with one friend, there are two human beings in that room. And our responsibility is just as much to us, if not more than it is to the friend. Because our job is to take care of ourselves. It's the only job we'll ever have for the rest of our lives. It's the only job we've always had our whole lives. You are your human. Your job, no one else, out of the 8 billion people on this earth, no one else has the job of taking care of the human that is you. No one. It's your job. so the next time you find yourself in a situation where you're over giving say to yourself what are you doing you had one job you had one job take care of this human and right now this human is starving for love because you have put her in a situation where she is giving non-stop to somebody else and not getting her needs met.

1:07:38And the truth is, the reason that's happening is because your human is scared of being in a situation that is completely different than that. Because this dynamic that you don't like, that you complain about, is also a dynamic that's very comfortable for you because you feel very safe in it. Now the job is to live a little more dangerously and to start making space for the idea that there are relationships out there that will be truly reciprocal. But when you first find one, it's going to be scary to you. It's going to be uncomfortable. And you're going to feel the urge to keep giving. You're going to find someone healthy and you're going to try and give all this stuff to them all the time.

1:08:23And it's going to scare them away because they're going to be like, why are you doing this? Why? Just be normal, be a person. I don't need you to do this. That's what they're going to be like. And your job is going to have to be to realize, oh, I'm going to have to put my normal way of getting significance down so that I can create space to be significant in a new way. And ultimately in a much more rewarding way than being in relationships where someone is dependent on me and can never leave because I just do so much for them and they absolutely need me.

1:09:09Guys, give it up for Matthew Hussey. Thank you, guys. Thank you. If you love this episode, you're going to love my conversation with Matthew Hussey on how to get over your ex and find true love in your relationships. Make a list of the things that are truly important for you to find in a partner and then be that list. This is Martha Stewart from the Martha Stewart Podcast. Ever wonder how to make hosting look effortless? Here's a secret. When prepping for cooking and baking, get ahead of the mess with new Reynolds Kitchen's countertop prep paper. Just lightly wet the counter so the paper grips.

1:09:56Lay it down, and drips and spills stay on the paper, not on your counter. Cleanup is as simple as lifting it away to reveal clean counters. Effortless it is, thanks to Reynolds Kitchen's countertop prep paper. Wet it, set it, prep it, done. available in the Reynolds Wrap aisle at Walmart, Target, Amazon, and Costco. If you work in university maintenance, Grainger considers you an MVP because your playbook ensures your arena is always ready for tip-off and Grainger is your trusted partner. Offering the products you need all in one place from HVAC and plumbing supplies to lighting and more and all delivered with plenty of time left on the clock so your team always gets the win.

1:10:43Call 1-800-GRAINGER, visit grainger.com, or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. Discover a spectacular island destination with crystal blue seas, endless sunshine, and the cool Bahamian breeze. Bahamar, located in Nassau, Bahamas, offers your choice of three luxury hotels. The richly refined Rosewood, the playfully hip SLS, and the stylishly modern Grand Hyatt. With over 45 restaurants, bars, and lounges, Baja Mar serves up delicious dining from world-renowned chefs like Daniel Bouloud and Marcus Samuelson, nightlife venues like the new Jean Batiste Jazz Club, and the Caribbean's most luxurious casino.

1:11:24At Baja Mar, you'll find every pleasure under the sun and one-of-a-kind experiences for the entire family, like Baja Bay, our 15-acre lush tropical water park, interactive wildlife experiences, including our daily flamingo parade, world-class golf, tennis, spa, and so much more. Visit Bahamar.com today and discover a vacation destination where memories are made for a lifetime. Bahamar, life spectacular. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.