MILLIE BOBBY BROWN: "I Had A Panic Attack For 3 Months"

31:56Like, I'm like, I do think those things are fun and interesting. Like, I don't know. I'm, and me being on here or me doing Fallon or, you know, those are great and interesting things, but I have too many normal friends. So I'm the odd one out in my friend group to say I'm doing Fallon on Thursday. What are you doing? As opposed to a friend group full of people in the industry and that being just a normal thing to do. And I don't have that. So for me, I kind of I lose out on the details of those things and just talk about the normal things oh my god I went to this bar the other night and you know they played this song so I got up on the table and stuff like that's my friend that's my friend group of talking about just like the normal things in life and that might be because my parents just raised me a certain way I do think things are interesting that might not be to the people in the industry but I do try to just maintain the same who I am because I when I go on to talk shows or do this or do that like I am myself again leads me to the point of maybe that's why I'm in the press a lot but it's just because I think you're talking to a real person like I'm not but nothing to hide here and I'm not playing a character I'm really not um and I think people hopefully people can actually see

33:09Jay Shetty:that yeah and you have goats called eminem and cardi b yeah so that i do i was like that that's pretty cool yeah all of my all of my goats are named after rappers um yeah any others biggie smalls and slick rick why the choices walk us through is that your top four okay um like i grew up just listening to slick rick biggie smalls icon yeah then cardi b i love cardi b uh and then eminem i love eminem me my brother love eminem and then thelma and louise are two goats that escaped their farm and were found on the side of the road so my animal control called me and said millie we can't figure out where these goats belong we've called everyone what do you want to do with these goats i said just bring them over so they brought them over and thelma and louise are like these two cute pygmy goats and they just live here now and and i have a lot of animals on the farm that were bullied out of their farm.

34:08So like the herds just kind of chose, we'd hate that donkey. So then that donkey comes to me. So I have about a lot of outcasts.

34:15Jay Shetty:You got all the misfits. Exactly. That's exactly where I belong. Yeah, that's awesome. Talk to me about what it was that finally made you actually want to get off social media. Like what was the criticism that felt, okay, now I actually need some space. I think it was a huge invasion of privacy at one point in my life that I felt like the overlap might have been too much you know like like it's like this right now this is my visual diagram I'm making and at that point it was like this like it was too much I was like they know too much and it's all lies and I don't have enough time to sit here and expect so I'm just like I need to I need to not I need to not see it and I took myself out of the equation.

34:59I not only did that, but I cut out all soda in my life. I took like a whole pledge where I was like, I just like took away a bunch of things that I felt maybe I just like did very small habits, but things that I wanted to take out of my life. So I did it all at the same time. I'm a big cold turkey girl. I don't, I do not do things half. I'm not somebody who's like, let's just like do everything in moderation and take it out. no not me i'm the same i get it i cut things out my life immediately so what went soda social media i was like i'm spending too much time like doing work that i needed to pick up a hobby so i picked up a hobby i started um uh bedazzling mason jars for hours like my like my boyfriend uh but my husband now who is like mel like i genuinely i can't like watch you bedazzle one more thing and I was like I'm bedazzling this whole mason jar because I have to and I think I was pouring my anxiety into that I would say I had anxiety for about three months um and I had to still go to work um and I just went to work and was just very very very very anxious um definitely not myself but yeah I would say like that that's hard when you're having anxiety and and and for me, my anxiety doesn't come on a Monday and maybe a Wednesday.

36:26My anxiety, if it was to come, something big needs to happen. And then it will probably last for two months every day. So mine are cycles. Mine aren't every other. Mine are cycles. And then I need to do something to change this. It's almost like I need to do something at the end of it to change the cycle. I know it's been happening for too long. So one of my longest cycles must have been three months. And it was, yeah, I got chased by somebody in a place and it sent me into a three month long anxiety panic attack where I had to do all of this stuff. And actually, I went to Japan and I sat with these monks and it was the most amazing experience.

37:15And I got, I'm getting teary eyed talking about it, but it took me out of the cycle. I needed it. So, yeah. And it's funny because it didn't mean anything to them. What I was telling them like about what sent me into this, but they were able to, and my, we sat in this garden and it was also my husband said I almost saw you like this weight just lift off of you but it was just such a yeah anxiety is the worst thing ever and I knew I needed to get I needed to heal and I needed to figure out my anxiety before starting a family like I needed to understand what was happening and then I did finally and I'm still figuring out now but I'm now like I have all these techniques I use and they work do you know what I mean like you know when people are like, yeah, I started this medication.

38:02It's a great, like, I'm, I'm so happy for you. But like, for me, I needed other techniques. I needed techniques that I could right now it's happening. What do I do? Because it would come at the craziest, hardest times. Sometimes I'll look back at red carpet things of me and be like, I was having a full blown panic attack in that moment. And it's crazy. It's crazy to all of it's documented. But yeah.

38:28Jay Shetty:thank you for sharing that no I just I don't even know how we got there but sorry you're very good you don't need to be sorry at all I feel like I feel like you just took us like deep into your mind my psyche yeah get out get out no but as in I could feel that it was so palpable to feel just how much that three months of anxiety was all encompassing yeah yeah it's it's crazy because I'm I have um I have health anxiety really bad so like if I go to a doctor or if I go to the hospital I have to tell them before I have health anxiety so whatever you're going to tell me I'm going to rationalize in my head I'm going to make it seem so much worse so I need you to tell me things like I'm a three-year-old because there are certain things now that I know trigger me, like deeply, deeply trigger me.

39:23So I've been able to just work out what's going on and slowly accommodate my needs because then it's not going to go away. Like, and it could, one day it could and I wake up and great, but I need to be in the mindset of like, it's probably not. So let's just accommodate what needs to be done here. I can't stop my life. I'm not going to, but I need to like, I need to work around it. And I think I figured out pretty great techniques to work around it. My mum being one of those people, like my mum is just like the first person that can talk me down out of that space.

39:57Jay Shetty:How did you discover you had health anxiety? Well, it started like before this trip to Japan. And if for me, it's like if I feel something in on my neck, or if I, I start to, you know, I start to spiral really, really bad to the point where I could actually get myself sick. So like for me, like I have given, I lose vision sometimes. I can get a fever. I get myself sick really quickly. I could like, if I have an anxiety attack at night in the morning, I'll have 102 fever. Like that's my body responds, like kicks in to fight or flight. The hardest thing is, is that I, I don't know when my body's like tricking me or not because my anxiety gives me physical symptoms.

40:44So I never want to be the boy who cry wolf because my, but my husband's one of those people, he, he just never questions. He's like, you're telling the, this is your truth. Even if this is your anxiety, you're still feeling it. It's still happening to you. So I try now I'm really good at being able to understand if it's a, if this is a temporary thing or do I actually think this is a real thing? So for instance on Enola 3 I got really really ill during production like really bad and I knew it was a moment where I know I this is not anxiety I was able to compartmentalize and go this is not anxiety this is something that needs to be I need to go to the hospital right now I used to not be able to to separate and be like could this be could this be now I know I'm pretty certain I'm pretty good with it and it's just a lot of for me knowledge is power so I do a lot of reading about like And I don't know if it's like before I would just be like, oh, I'm feeling this pain.

41:42Could this be this? But now I'm like, no, it couldn't be that because that would show in this way. So I actually think I need to know more about the situation and the world than not, because actually the lack of knowledge is what gave me the most anxiety. Like the feeling of being, you know, not in control because I'm in control of everything else in my life. But you can't be in control of that stuff sometimes, you know?

42:04Jay Shetty:yeah thank you for explaining that to us i feel like there's so many people who probably feel that way and don't even know it no and then think actually i want to stay away from information and not realizing that more knowledge equals more power equals more ability to have a sense of what you're actually experiencing what was it during those three months that made you go to japan to i got chased by these people and it was um it was a really traumatizing like i would say 20 minutes like 20 minutes I just couldn't I it was very very intense and very scary after the 20 minutes I got into an elevator and I my team who's probably watching this right now I like faced the corner of the wall and I was just like I actually feel like I shut down and I shut down for three months like that is like in that moment I like something switched off in my mind and so I did all of these events and I, I believe I had like, I did like my engagement party and I had like all these really, my dad's birthday, I had a bunch of stuff and I started getting really ill and I had pneumonia and I had like all of these, all of these problems and I probably had three or four things and I got strep and I had strep for like three weeks or something and then it went undiagnosed and therefore untreated.

43:22So then I got to Japan because I was, I wanted to go, I really wanted to go not thinking it would be some spiritual journey. I thought this is just gonna be a really great time. When I got there, I was like, I still, I still really felt anxious. I couldn't like, for instance, sometimes we get to a restaurant and I'd say to my husband, I can't go in. We need to go back. And he'd be like, okay, we'll go back. And that's the thing. Like I never had to explain myself to him. He knew he got it. And then we would do like my tapping and just like, you know, and then I went to Kyoto and I went to this garden with these monks and I met him, this one amazing gentleman who was like just so calm and almost felt like he saw me.

44:13Like he was like, and I was in the height of my anxiety at this point. It was like he knew that I was kind of broken. So he was acting normal with me. But then when we got to the garden, he was like, we need to meditate. And I was like, okay, meditation has never been anything that's worked for me because of my mind and how I've not been able to shut out the thoughts. But we meditated in this garden, which was for five minutes. And I meditated with 50 people. like it was not just us there was a bunch of tourists like us and we all sat in this garden nobody knew who I was and if they did they didn't care in that moment and it was amazing and I will never forget the feeling and then we went into this kind of samurai's house and it was like the coolest experience and then they brought out these singing bowls and we sat there for another hour and I left being it was my husband's birthday and I remember being like I'm sorry I feel like it's my birthday like I just got given like the biggest gift of all like finally peace in my heart and my husband literally said like it would like it you radiated this light after and I it just it was exactly what I needed and I do think that I'm a big believer in in like divine intervention and I think that was a moment where God was like you need to you need to take a break and you need to like sit there and figure out kind of what's going on in your head.

45:44And I didn't figure it out necessarily, but I did figure out that I needed to sit in silence for a bit. And yeah, and I think that really healed me in a lot of ways. It healed a lot of me.

45:56Jay Shetty:Thank you for sharing that. Have you been back? I've not. And I'm dying to, especially take my daughter. We made a promise to this temple that there and so we are going to go back because we they said you need to come back at this specific time this year this time and so that that is kind of my my husband said like we we are going to go back and when we when we were there we said we're going to bring our kids back so we knew we were like we're on the right track yeah wow thank you so much for sharing that i feel like when you hear about moments like that and your belief in divine intervention and just finding the right thing at the right time and us being open to that happening to us because I think whether we're skeptical or whether we're not believers or whether we just live in a busy logical world which we all do sometimes the greatest gifts are quite otherworldly and and and happen by surprise and aren't things that we plan or measurably choose yeah I think like I'm around a lot of people who are like not skeptics but they're they're just they live in a very realistic world they're like that wouldn't happen because of this or this yeah this is i agree to a certain point and then i'm like you can't explain certain things that happen to you you just can't like coincidences just sometimes for me i can't you could see them as coincidences or you could see them as fate and for me i just believe things of i just believe in fate yeah yeah what are your other techniques now that are helping you said speaking to your mom is one of them speaking to my husband's a big one like if my husband's not with me it's my mom my mom's not with you know so that and i think you gotta find your people that understand you and that know the vocabulary to use around you in those moments right it's not you're okay everything's fine it's not that jake takes me through a step by step okay you were just here this is what just happened to you you were not in a situation where you know you could have breathed in that smoke and therefore you got this you know that he will take me through what happened and that is great and then my mom also is similar she'll tell take me through like statistics she's like you're a 22 year old you're absolutely fine she kind of tells me who I am another technique I use is like grounding so I will like talk about the room I'm in the sea I'm sat in things like that and then the third one tapping I love tapping singing bowls are a big one I have a lot of those in my house um used to be my phone.

48:21So funny. Now it's not. That doesn't work for me anymore. Singing is a big one. Took me a very long time to realize it was singing. Right before I got nervous to go on do things, I would sing. And then when I was in Japan and years, years later, I was learning all about my vagus nerve and humming. And I thought, whoa, I sing every time I'm nervous. so I'm basically just vibrating my vagus nerve and in turn you know calming myself down but without noticing and so I did that as a young child so something in me as a young child knew I needed to be soothed you know and so I do that a lot now singing is a big one what would you sing oh just like anything like you could put on anything and I will sing to it even if I don't know the words but a lot of musical theater and music I like music that like I love meaning I love music and my husband and I both play music a lot in the house and yeah I would just say like singing is a big one I used to be really into journaling but my life became a little bit crazy and it's hard to stay up with that so I I do a lot of prompts and gratitude journals instead yeah I would say that's pretty much that's a lot yeah like I'm trying to think because I had to I had to because I would have one one thing I would do and it wouldn't work so it's like okay you need to figure out like a plan you know if this doesn't work let's do this so that's where I'm at yeah you

49:47Jay Shetty:have a full toolkit yeah yeah and you're so right I love what you're saying that I think we're often like oh this is my one thing and the reality is that life's throwing so many things our way that you need a plan b and a plan c and a plan d and knowing that the people who are closest to you and love you the most are your mom and your partner Jake like they're able to actually understand what you need in that moment yeah and you can actually educate them i think that's such a big foundational point for healthy relationships where it's like you don't want the person panicking around you trying to figure it out you want to give them the tools to succeed for you yeah 100 and the reason i'm i'm my dad is like amazing my dad like but he's like me in that we think very similar so for me i'm like if if it's not this it's gonna have to be this and if it's not that it's gonna have to be that i'm very i'm very black and white and my my mom and my husband are very similar my dad and i are very similar so my dad's like okay well if you were there then maybe it was that and so i'm like dad no no we're thinking too similarly you know like i'm out i'm out so yeah it's great that they're they're able to be very different like i need i need them for very different things yeah i wanted to talk a bit about jake you've been talking about him the whole time which is beautiful but i wanted to dive into a bit because you said that you know we built a really strong foundation and even a few moments ago you were saying you know we just we just knew like we were aligned talk to me about what it means to build a strong foundation i think so many people want to have healthy deep meaningful relationships that not only look great but actually feel great and feel great on a daily basis beyond the big moments of a wedding or vows or all of that like what do you think it takes to build a strong foundation with jake and what have you both done to really build that?

51:27You know, when you meet someone young, you have habits from either previous relationships or just like your trauma, your fight or flight response, very much like me. And so you have to work through how each other communicates and works. So I definitely did that. We both did that. Like I was very much like, okay, this is how he responds to things. And this is how I respond to things. And then figuring out what that looks like. And I think that took us about a year to understand how to communicate. And then, but trust was never like, I like, it was like met him and well, I spoke to him on the phone for like 20 minutes.

52:09I cold called him. That's how we kind of met. And I hung up and I said, that's either going to be, I ran down to my mom and dad and I said, that's either going to be the groom at my wedding or my maid of honor. but like I trust this man like don't know what it is but it's just I don't know it was the way he answered the phone to me it was like no one ever like no one has ever answered the phone like that he was just like hey girl and I was like hi like wasn't didn't care about who I was just saw me like it felt like so yeah I think it took a lot of work because we we learned how to communicate okay I'm a big like I love to read books I love to do courses I love like I am so I mean Gottman like I just studied all the methods of all the methods because I I want to learn and there are plenty of things I've learned I don't like or apply to my life and then there are things that I do but I learn from either space you know and so Jake is big on that too so we both did that I would say for like all of our relationship that's what we do we just like try different techniques try different methods of different things and now we're like I would say we're you know it's been like two years of like oh this is just like how we do things and it's been pretty but like we were just like we we want to be we're choosing each other we want to be together so we do all the work to get there but never have we tried to change each other I think that's a big thing I've been in past relationships where you're trying to morph this person into who you want them to be and you're kind of waiting for them to change and there was not one thing I wanted to change about Jake like at all like it was just like oh this is you this is I'm going to embrace you for every part of you because this is who I want in my life but that was the difference of feeling I was like I'd been with other people you know who's like oh like I need you to step up and be this and be that and it's like no why am I waiting also I don't want you to change either This might just be who you are too.

54:12Whereas with Jake, it was like, don't change anything.

54:15Jay Shetty:What do you think Jake understands about you that most people get wrong? I do speak my mind. And with my friends, I feel like I tried to be a really good friend, but I didn't go to school. So socializing for me is very new, very new. In my latter three, four years. I feel like this is my year of friendship. I'm really trying to help nurture those friendships and be true to them. But I'm a very honest friend. And so if something's going on, or if I feel something is needed to be said with them in their life, if I'm observing something, I tell them. Because I say to Jake, if I don't, I'm not a good friend.

55:05and he says yes but sometimes you also need to let people ride the course of what they're going through you know and I'm like but they need to know like they need to know and he's like he'll never tell me no but he's like just think about the way you'll say it and then think about but I always have to end up saying it because it's who I am it's just I have to I have to be like hi like are you okay like something feels something feels off what's going on let's talk about it because I'm a very honest friend. And Jake knows I mean well. Other people sometimes, I'm sure, could probably read it as like, you're rude, you're mean.

55:44I am never trying to come across as that. I'm actually, in fact, I'm trying to be the most present and loving friend. And all I mean is being, all I want for you is to succeed. Like, all I want. Like, I'm a big, Like I want all of my friends to succeed in love. But I need to be the person that they look at and go, thank you for telling me that. Because I was surrounded by people sometimes, friends growing up that wouldn't tell me those things.

56:14Jay Shetty:And that's worse. And I needed them too, you know? And so I'm like, I need to feel like I need to show up for my friends in that way because I maybe didn't have friends like that growing up. Do you think you've got a balance right now? I've got a balance. because now I know to take time, take a breather. Okay. Maybe they don't need to hear this right now. So I've taken a bit of Jake and what he knows. But if I feel that there's like a cry for help, I have no problem in stepping in and just saying, you know, I'm here for you. I love you. I'm your friend. If you need me, I never force anyone into like talking to me, but I want you to know that I see you because I've been there.

56:49Jay Shetty:Yeah. What do you believe defines a good friend? I think loyalty loyalty because I have a lot of friends that I'll speak to or not see over years and years and years and then see each other and things are completely back to normal and you know great and my life is hard I can't maintain friendships in the fact that like I can't maybe reach a dinner or go to that birthday party or do this because my life's hectic and vice versa. A lot of my friends have busy lives too, but loyalty to each other, like knowing that we've known each other for a very long time. And so we need, we owe it to each other to remain friends, to nurture the friendship, to stay in touch, to be there for each other, to support each other when you can be.

57:35I think that's a big one. I don't enjoy people in my life or have met people in my life that are just down to drop a friendship because it's like, to me, I value them as much as relationships. Like we've been doing this, you know, I have my best friend Noah, we've been friends for 10 years, you know, but we know our loyalty lies within each other. Like we will always nurture and honor the friendship.

57:58Jay Shetty:Yeah, that's a beautiful answer. I love that. Yeah. What's the best thing about watching Jake become a dad? His heart melts anytime she does anything. And so does mine. But he literally is like, I can just see her wrapped around it. Like, or vice versa, sorry. He is wrapped around her finger. Like, it's hilarious. I can already tell certain things. He's like, oh, like in the morning, he wakes her up. He gets in the bed and he wakes her up with a song and she opens her eyes. And he says, like, she looks at me as if to go, you've been here the whole time. Oh, yeah. And they just cuddle. And I'm like, when I look at it on the little camera, I'm like, that's the person I chose to marry.

58:40Like that little girl will never go a day without knowing that her dad is there for her and her mom. But dads are really important. Dads are really important. I had an amazing dad growing up. Very, very similar to Jake. And Jake has an amazing dad. Very, very similar to Jake. But just like in many ways, they play maternal and paternal figures. You know, like I do too. And I think it's really cool to be able, you know, I don't like the whole like narrative of like the mom does this and the dad does this. It's like, no, Jake does both. And so do I. And so you have two parents that you can come to for almost everything.

59:20Like mom can do it too, but also dad can. Dad can, dad, I've taught Jake how to braid hair and all the things, you know, because I want dad to know how to do it too.

59:28Jay Shetty:Yeah. What's the quality of Jake's that you hope that she developed? All of it. His, oh, he's so calm. he's so calm and he sees through everyone's perspective i'm like most is the way i think as you can tell i'm sure you're like oh yeah i got the gist of you now but i'm very much like why would you do that why would you say that like no this is you know and jake's like well maybe they were going through something or maybe it's this or maybe it's that and i'm like oh okay so I hope she is able to see through different lenses and understand the world in that way and different people. Jake has so much patience for everyone.

1:00:14I am the most impatient person. And I think I take after my nanny in that my nanny Ruth, like she was very stubborn. I'm very stubborn and Jake is not stubborn at all. Jake will forgive and forget like that. I mean, so I hope she takes after to after him but you know there's also a bit of my feist that everyone

1:00:33Jay Shetty:needs absolutely I think yeah you don't want to lose that no no absolutely absolutely and and he probably loves that part of it too he probably loves seeing that with girl dad energy like just oh yeah the other day she like side-eyed him and she and she's also saying no no no and Jake's like she's you yeah you know you were talking about earlier the the the trad wife comments or whatever that means and that kind of perception. And even though the reality doesn't really afford any of that definition to even feel true, but it sounds like you and Jake have created a real almost unit and team between you both to deal with all of that noise, whether it's age or how you choose to get married or when or adopting a child or whatever, all of this stuff.

1:01:15Jay Shetty:Like talk to me about why that's so important and how you do that, where it's like, we're a team, this is our decision, how you keep that conviction when there is so much noise. Yeah. I think Jake grew up kind of out of the spotlight despite his family. Like I think Jake, his mom is amazing and they just lived a very normal life. Very similar to me in that I also tried to live a very normal life despite my environment or job. And so Jake's very used to blocking out the noise because he's literally had to do it from day one same to me but not day one like I was at least you know eight or nine but you know young enough for that we're very both used to it so it's not like this has just happened in our life and now it's all of a sudden we have to learn how these how to cope with this like we came into this our relationship knowing what this is what we're probably gonna get like people but again I always tell Jake I'm like everybody's a walk in contradiction because, you know, you get married at 20, you're too young.

1:02:20What are you doing? Oh my God. Like people are preying on the downfall, you know? And then it's like, you're 40, you're not married. What are you doing? You're twice divorced. My God, how dare you? She's crazy. Like she needs to get married soon. She's not having a baby at 30. Like that's, you know, well, ticking time. Like, come on, you got to have your baby. Like you want to adopt. Why? How could they let you? You know, it's like these questions. It's bizarre. And you're, again, you all are walking contradictions. If I lived my life following the rules of these random people, I would probably live the most boring, mundane, awful, miserable life because these decisions, I'm going to base them off of these random robots on the internet?

1:03:02Absolutely not. I am doing what makes me happy, what feels right to me. And I would consider myself a person who does, I am smart and I do like to think everything through, but I do believe in fate. Going back to, I do believe in that. I think it was fate that I, you know, met Jake. And I do think that I believe in like the invisible string theory. I think we would never have met. We would never been in the same world. So I always think like, were you there at this point? Were you there? But we weren't in the same worlds at all. Like he was a boarding school and then he went to college. Like we were not in the same world.

1:03:36I think we were meant to be together. So I think we both just talk about it. Like no one can do right for doing wrong like it just you look on the internet every day somebody else is getting slaughtered for something random and you're just like why that's why i don't listen to those things i'm not i'm not like i don't care enough and i'm always like most of the time it's not true so if anyone was like have you ever heard about this person getting having this and you're like it's probably not true because half of the shit that's out there is not true about me

1:04:07Jay Shetty:so well said i feel like that all the time like i know so many people in the public eye and when there's reports about them in the news and you actually know what's going on and like who's making this stuff amazing like these exclusive sources i'm like who is this person yeah unnamed friend i love it i love it i've never met you yeah literally never met you it's so funny i i remember that you what you just said right now was so powerful and i want to you know i want to make sure that people hear it clearly and it reminded me of this great speech that uh taylor swift gave it a billboard award a few years ago and she was just like you know i think she said something and she says it much better than i will but she said it along the lines of you know i was writing songs about breakups and then they said oh i was just couldn't get over my exes like a scorned ex yeah so then i started writing songs about my friends and then it was like oh she's having too much fun yeah and then so i started writing songs that i wrote back in the day and then they said oh she's trying to go backwards and it's almost like no matter what you do there's a version of it that people will spin it to be and yeah the way you just put it out there right now about whether you're 20 and getting married or whether you're 40 and unmarried and divorced or whether you're 30 and you don't have a baby yet.

1:05:13Jay Shetty:I mean, that was so well put because none of you win. No, no one wins because women don't win because we don't get to win. Like we don't get to just be in peace. It's the crazy scrutiny. Like, and I, I've, you know, I grew up on a show with four boys that I am not taking away their experience. They, they, they got their fair share of things. But what the girls got on that show, like what felt my experience as well was like the scrutiny and pressure that gets put on you was insane. I never heard about any of my cast members, boys slash men, about what they're wearing on the carpet and what they look like or what their hair looks like or what their makeup looks like or what they're saying.

1:06:02Those weren't the headlines and it was about how amazing they were, how successful they were, how amazing, and they are amazing. They do get to get, you know, written about like that, but I do too. Like my headline shouldn't be tearing me down and other young girls down. And I hold a lot of, you know, I try to, it's hard. I get very annoyed about it because I just feel very protective of girls that are coming up into the industry that that's what they, you know, that's their, that's their storyline, but that doesn't need to be their storyline. So I've, I've kind of rearranged my storyline. That's why I have no problem in calling like journalists out by their name.

1:06:45So I'm like, you need to learn a lesson, like go back to school, like learn your bedside manners. What is wrong with you? Like, what is wrong with you? Who, who, I just don't get it, especially somebody so young. And I don't think it's right at any age, but young people and them trying to figure out their mental health. Nobody knows what I'm going through. Nobody knows what I don't need to hear at a certain time. So that to me is very important. Like just trying to harness the power to just let that go in a way, because I do hold a bit of resentment against that. You I just, I don't feel I received the same treatment.

1:07:26And it's not a pity party. Like, I don't need to be sat here and be like, you know, I really feel bad for me. But I just hope it never happens to anyone else.

1:07:34Jay Shetty:No, and I think the resentment's fair. You were so young as well, and going through all of that, and it's hard to, it's easy to look back and be like, okay, you know, this is how it works, and this is how it makes sense. But when you're actually going through it, people are so busy as well. No one's really paying attention, whether it's your cast mates or everyone around you and I was wondering like what would your advice be to young women coming up in the spotlight right now how do they do that how do they navigate it do it maybe do they even approach you do you have younger musicians and actors and actresses will approach you as well for insight every kind of young person I really try to reach out I befriended Ella Bright who who is just in that new show off campus and she's not that much younger than me but she's amazing and I reached out and she's like here's my number if you ever need to call me I'm here even if it's just about the most random things like I've probably been through it same with my co-star like Louis Partridge I feel like kind of not responsible but like just very much a part of his journey and I just feel like I'm I'm here for him you know there's a lot of public perception about his life and everything.

1:08:42And I just feel like I, I feel, you know, I just want to make sure everybody feels protected and supported. And I want to be able to be that friend to also be honest, you know, and be like, okay, but also like wear the crazy thing, you know, like do the, do the fun hairstyle, like don't have any regrets. Like, it's just like, why, why play it safe all the time? And then also Owen Cooper, who is in adolescence and who has had such a kind of rise and rightly so he's unbelievable but I did I did meet him through a mutual friend and I said here's my number anytime you need me you know call me and so sometimes he'll call me and say Mel you know they want me to do this magazine I'm really tired don't do it then yeah don't do it don't do it it's not necessary like so like sometimes we'll have those conversations where I say how are you feeling are you tired are you do you feel like doing too much and he'll be like I'm fine I'm fine I'm like okay like if you need a breather like just you know just tell someone like and and he is amazing he has an amazing family um but I feel like I've just been there as a kind of nine-on-one if he needs me but he doesn't he's already so

1:09:52Jay Shetty:smart and brilliant that's amazing that's so great that you're doing that I mean I can't imagine what what a wealth of wisdom you have and the fact that they can call you up and reach out did you have anyone that you could do that with yourself yes I did I had a lot of people that I was able to do that with um a lot of musicians and and actors I feel I remember meeting Natalie Portman and having this moment where she you know I kind of was just like wow like I really feel like she understands me um I was at an award show I was very busy but I do feel like in that moment I was I really feel like we could have we would have been friends like if we're the same you know like and I want to be friends with you, Natalie.

1:10:33But like, if we were child stars at the same time, same with Drew Barrymore. I feel like, you know.

1:10:40Jay Shetty:Yeah, Drew's amazing. She's amazing. And I really felt seen by her. Oh, I love that. Yeah, it's so important. And I'm so glad that you're, you know, actually reaching out and sending your number. And it's so needed because you're the only person that can relate to what they're going through, truly. And everyone's journey is different. Of course. So when certain people say, oh, I'm feeling this, I'm like, okay, I didn't feel that. However, I knew somebody that did. So that's always really helpful. Because coming from a boy's perspective, it's very hard for me to understand sometimes. However, I grew up around boys who went through the same thing.

1:11:11So I'm like, okay, I kind of get where you're coming from.

1:11:14Jay Shetty:What's a belief that you hold that you think everyone disagrees with, but you die on the hill for? Speaking your mind. I mean, it might be my problem, but I think be respectful. always be respectful we have too many men in this country right now speaking their mind but be respectful like like just try to see everyone at like just have a conversation that's the one thing I try to do is like even though I might speak my mind and have my perspective I always am down to have a conversation I really value that so I love to hear what other people you know think and we can kind of reach to in a conclusion or whatever but I I think speak your mind I I wouldn't ever say like bite bite your tongue because you're always gonna wish you didn't you're always gonna wish you I should have fucking said that you know like I wish I said that I should have said that um I just I I personally am like I'd rather have said it and people know where I stand on it because I think I I bit I had to bite my tongue a lot as a child people said so much about me and I was just like I just didn't say anything and then I felt like I reached an age where I was like no I'm not gonna settle for this anymore what is it that was that turning point for you were you like probably I was 18 just yeah it's age isn't it yeah it's age yeah I felt like I was like no I'm I'm an adult now and like you can't treat me like this anymore yeah it was easier to stay quiet younger because it's like it gives them less to talk about but now I'm a bit like I don't really want to give them more to talk about but I do however want to hold people accountable yeah it can be hard when you feel like people are just taking shots and shooting arrows at you and you just kind of have to stand there.

1:12:57I don't care if it's like one time, two times, but sometimes it's felt incessant, like back to back to back to back.

1:13:03Jay Shetty:Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. Millie, I could talk to you for hours and you've become my new favorite person on the show, like for sure. Without a doubt, this conversation is incredible. We have a game that we called the Jake game for you. Oh my gosh. And so you have to finish these sentences. So I'm going to read them out for you and then you complete them. Jake's favorite thing about me is? Jake's favorite thing about me is my humor I'm really silly is it what would you what would you could be my humor I mean I think you know he he would say something very romantic but I think like I really make him laugh and I think he always says like I always wanted a girl to really make me laugh and like you know and then he makes me die laughing even the other night this like we were in a bar and this girl came over and was like how do I play darts and Jake gave this long-winded explanation about how to get in the line for darts and but it was the way he said it was his tone it said I literally was like uncontrollable five minutes and I was just like and he was he's very silly he's like a really silly person like he'll do funny accents to random people like he's just like one of those people that really makes me laugh and then I'm the kind of person to start like, you know, dancing really ridiculously in the store and he's just like wants to die.

1:14:19But he loves that. So I really think like we make each other laugh. So hopefully it's my humor.

1:14:24Jay Shetty:I love it. Jake would say my most annoying habit is? That I hate to hear people chew and swallow. Like it makes Jay, there's something clear. It's called misophonia, I think, but it's a real thing. And I can't, like everybody on my team knows like i just can't hear people chewing food it's just a thing i have and is he a really loud no he's not but he would think that's annoying about me when i have to say to people like i'm so sorry like i have to leave the room i'll just wait until jake's like millie oh my god you know jake would say the household chore i'm worst at is making the bed like making the bed and like I do pick up after myself, but oh, I do like if I'm making a tea or like I do leave things out.

1:15:12Jay Shetty:Got it. I'm big on that. And he's cleaning up. Yeah. He puts things away. If he's going to make something, he'll, and then he puts everything on. I'm, I'm a little bit more like just because I think I just see like something sparkly and I go that way. Do you know what I mean? But I'm being more intentional. Got it. Jake, I'm just helping you out. This is, this is all to help you out. Jake would say my most unnecessary purchase this year was? Maybe like a goat shed. like I didn't need the shed did I but the goats love it but I don't know were they cold was it raining no I just thought it was cute also a new chicken coop but he doesn't think it's unnecessary I feel like he'd know that that's like I don't really buy unnecessary things but I think that's maybe what he would say if he were to be like did did we really need another shed like yes we did is it a shed or is it like MTV Cribs because it's for it's a shed no it is a shed like I'm not I'm It's not bougie.

1:16:03Jay Shetty:No, it's not bougie. It's like wooden, like it's really cute. But it's for the ghost. That or like I just built a swimming pool for my foster dogs. Amazing. Yeah. And he's like, why? And I'm like, because it gets hot in the summer. And I want them to learn how to swim so that when they get adopted, they can swim. I love it. Jake would say I take too many photos of? The animals. Like I put thousands of animal pictures on my phone of like the sheep, like nose right up against the camera. And Jake's like, that's not even a picture. I'm like, yes, it is. It's a great picture. That's a great picture.

1:16:36Jay Shetty:Jake would say my love language is. Mine to him. Yeah. And both. Do us both. Mine to him is words of affirmation slash affection. Mine is affection. I think. Mine is affection. And like slowly becoming a mother now acts of service, but less about like, I don't need you to like do like the, the like, you know, grab this, grab that, or like clean the kitchen. like that it's more like oh you made me a tea like it's the it's like the cute little things i guess it's not service it's more gift giving i guess but it's just more like thoughtful surprises yeah i love that uh jake would say i could talk for three hours about dogs dogs dogs and like like like children's um like development like i love baby like development and jake's favorite thing about being married to me is?

1:17:28Like a built-in best friend. I think we both feel that way. Like, thank God we found each other in this life.

1:17:34Jay Shetty:That's so beautiful. Millie, we end every episode of On Purpose with a final five. These questions asked to every guest on the show, they have to be answered in one sentence maximum. Okay. Millie Bobby Brown, these are your final five. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? Matthew Modine said, everything you put on your face goes into your bloodstream, which changed my... I love that. Which changed my relationship with my skin. Great answer. Do you want to share more? No, I mean, that's really it. Question number two, what is the worst advice you ever received?

1:18:06You know, children should be seen and not heard.

1:18:11Jay Shetty:Question number three, the one reason people should watch Inola Holmes 3. It's a great family film, a great easy watch on a Friday or Saturday night. Yeah, and it leaves you feeling good. yeah tell me a bit more about what characteristics you share with Enola I feel like there's a lot there's a lot yeah yeah um she obviously speaks her mind she is a change maker she only she tries to be um she's a bit stubborn very witty and I'm not saying I am witty but I'd say I'm fast like I really do pick up on things pretty fast if somebody's saying something I'm like okay I know I know the kind of person you are, or you're very observant.

1:18:50Um, but yeah, very, uh, I would say, yeah, very stubborn. My co-star would say stubborn.

1:18:57Jay Shetty:Yeah. Yeah. Is, is Millie Bobby Brown aspiring to be Enola Holmes or is Enola Holmes aspiring to be Millie Bobby Brown? I'm aspiring to be Enola. Yeah, for sure. Nice. I love it. Uh, question number four, complete the sentences about overthinking, complete the sentence. I think, I think too much about. I think I think too much about being a mum. Yeah. In the best way possible. In the best way possible. But you know, as a mum, you just overthink about everything. I feel mum guilt is probably the hardest guilt that exists. It really is terrible. Yeah. And then it feels like everyone has a version of how to be the best mum too.

1:19:29Jay Shetty:So then you're getting everyone's opinions. Yeah. That's another thing. You have to block out the noise on that. I always just try to be there for other mums and vice versa. Surround yourself with a mum group. But don't compare yourselves to each other because that's where you you'll just start to feel inadequate, but you're not. But mom guilt is a real thing, especially as a working mom. And fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? I guess, gosh, my initial instinct, but I don't know if this is like, if I'm even saying this right, in terms of like an answer to the question, but like if someone is mean or cruel to animals, they should never be able to have an animal again.

1:20:14is that yeah that's a good law that's a great law I feel like that's like I yeah like I feel like people don't shouldn't get second chances on that like but yeah I don't know I just think I like I I've been in the the animal world for you know a minute now and I've just seen a lot of animals and I feel like yeah like you don't get second chances on that like you've changed an animal's life forever. And yeah, I just wish more people showed kindness to animals. And I've seen it on both ends of the spectrum where I have people adopting my dogs and loving them and nurturing them and great. And then I've also seen dogs come to me that have burns and scars all over them.

1:20:58And, you know, I've seen the other end of it. So for me, I just think, yeah, I don't have time for people that don't have time for animals.

1:21:05Jay Shetty:Millie Bobby Brown, thank you so much. Thank you. You're awesome. This is wonderful. I had such a great time. I hope you got to share everything you wanted to. I really did. I was honestly nervous coming into this just because I'm very much the kind of person to forget the cameras are there and just start blabbering, but I've had the best time. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you.