Neuroscientist Emily McDonald: #1 Science-Based Hack to Rewire Your Brain to ACTUALLY Manifest the Life You Want

24:14OK, we're not necessarily at 10 million yet. So that's not, we're not there yet. It's really easy to do that and get caught up in the big picture and not give yourself the pat on the back for the steps that you're taking along the way. And those are the little dopamine boosts that are going to build momentum, that are going to keep you going, and that are also going to teach your brain that, oh, hey, this behavior, this action that we're taking is valuable and meaningful.

24:46When news broke earlier this year that baby KJ, a newborn in Philadelphia, had successfully received the world's first personalized gene editing treatment, it represented a milestone for both researchers and patients. But there's a gripping tale of discovery behind this accomplishment and its creators. I'm Evan Ratliff, and together with biographer Walter Isaacson, we're delving into the story of Nobel Prize winner Jennifer Doudna, the woman who's helped change the trajectory of humanity. Listen to On CRISPR, the story of Jennifer Doudna with Walter Isaacson on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

25:18I just think the process and the journey is so delicious. That's where all the good stuff is. You just can't live and die by the end result. It's scary putting yourself out there, especially when it's something you really care about and something that you hope is your passion in life and you want people to like it. Let's get delicious and put ourselves out there. I'm Simone Boyce, host of The Bright Side, and those were my recent guests, comedian Phoebe Robinson and writer Erin Foster. On this show, I'm talking to the brightest minds in entertainment, health, wellness, and pop culture. And every week, we're going places in our communities, our careers, and ourselves.

25:52It's not about being perfect. It's about going on a journey and discovering the bright side of becoming. Few people know that better than soccer legend Ashlyn Harris. It's the journey. It's the people. It's the failures. It's the heartache. It's the little moments. These are our moments to laugh, learn, and exhale. So join me every Monday, and let's find the Bright Side together. Listen to the Bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kurt Braunohler. And I am Scotty Landis, and we host Bananas, the weird news podcast with wonderful guests like Whitney Cummings.

26:31And tackle the truly tough questions. Why is cool mom an insult, but mom is fine? No. I always say cool. Kurt's a fun dad. Fun dad and cool mom. That's cool for me. We also dig into important life stuff. Like why our last names would make the worst hyphen ever. My last name is Cummings. I have sympathy for nobody. Yeah. Mine's Brown Oler, but with an H. So it looks like Brown Holer. Okay. That's okay. Yours might be worse. We can never get married. Listen to this episode with Whitney Cummings and check out new episodes of Bananas every Tuesday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

27:26What purchases do you think young people should delay? It doesn't have to be a purchase. It doesn't for me, I like clothes for me. And then maybe it's even, um, going and planning. It can, it can be anything like planning a reward for yourself. Um, like going out to dinner, let's say if you're a foodie, it really depends. So I'm not going to sit here and tell people what's going to boost their dopamine because it's very highly individual. Um, like what, what is it that you want and like, but maybe you love going to the grocery store and buying these one box of cookies that you really like or, um, whatever it is, maybe there's something.

27:59And also it's good to switch it up. Like if it's something that you haven't done for yourself in a while or like there's a dessert that you love that you only have on your birthday. It's like, okay, if I take the steps, if I sign up for this LLC and I get the logo done and I set up the website, I'm going to go get that thing that I get for my birthday and I'm going to give it to myself now. So it's just kind of really anything that makes you. And I think also this is why I always talk about with people is to also have something to look forward to. I think is super important, whether it's just like a dinner, because I found in, and this is something I really learned through experience in college and undergrad, but then of course, now knowing the neuroscience of it, I would be so much more productive and study so much better when I had plans on Friday night.

28:44And like, if you don't have any plans or anything to look forward to, or like a reason to get stuff done quickly, then it's going to be a lot harder. And also like dopamine is released in anticipation of a good thing happening. It's not just about reward. It's also when you are anticipating something, like from my kind of research studies, that was more tied to craving, right? But in kind of our day-to-day lives, it's anticipation. Like that's why when you're a little kid and it's the night before Christmas, like you can't fall asleep at night because you're excited, you're anticipating something.

29:14And actually the day that we were supposed to close on our house, which was like two weeks ago, I woke up that morning feeling like a kid on Christmas. And I was like, I was looking into the neuroscience of it actually, because I was like, how do oh, I activate this feeling more every single day because it's a great feeling. And I was so productive. But that was really a day of detachment because we weren't sure whether or not we were going to close that day. And it was actually as soon as we decided, oh, no, it's not going to happen today. We'll just drive home. We got the call and I was like, oh, you're going to get the keys.

29:42And I was like, it's always when you let go. So, yeah, I think it depends on the person when it comes to what you should delay or what you should purchase. It doesn't even have to be a purchase. It can be any sort of rewarding thing. Like actually something that I've been doing, because I have a mountain bike, not like an avid mountain biker, but I love nature. And I also have a ripstick. I love to ripstick just like around my house or whatever it is. And so I told myself the other day, actually, I was like, I'm going to film this content. And then afterward, I'm going to ripstick and giving myself that sort of little reward of like, honestly, it's like playtime, like not giving myself that it motivated me to go get it done that way because I had something to look forward to and a little reward afterward.

30:19Absolutely. Well said. It definitely works. It definitely works. I can think of so many moments in my life where that's exactly how I'm focusing on how to get the work done first and then be able to play break afterwards. And the biggest one for me, from what you said that I think really is going to make a difference for people is being kind to yourself in the process. That grace that comes with that and the ability to celebrate the small wins and the progress. Because if you're always measuring yourself up against a big goal, you could be waiting a long, long time, especially when you're writing a book.

30:51I mean, you just told me the cycle of when your book's going to come out. And that's what it is. It takes like two, three years to put it together. Then it takes time for it to come out. Then you're promoting it. So the actual result of someone saying, I love your book and I got so much from it is so far away. But if that's what you're waiting for, it's going to feel like forever. Yeah. I actually had to switch. It's just funny that you say that because when I first started, I was very motivated by having a bestselling book and writing this book. And And quickly did I learn that's not going to last and we're not going to be able to push through on this.

31:26So I actually shifted from being motivated by kind of the result to, hey, actually, I just want to be an author. And being an author is a reward in itself. And when I acknowledged that, then it became more rewarding to write the book and do the work. And so it was that shift. And I think that's also why it's so important to figure out who you want to be and that identity and who it's going to make you. Because when you can start to kind of identify as that, it's also very rewarding to embody it as well. Yeah. You've said that desperately wanting something actually blocks you from getting it, which applies to what you just said about your house.

32:04You're like, just that moment you let go, you're like, you got the call that you got your house. Why does desperately wanting something actually block it? When you are very attached to an outcome and you desperately want something, and it's to the point where it is kind of raising your stress levels and you are dependent on it or attached to the outcome, it boosts stress and it boosts cortisol. And that actually narrows your perception, which gives you a sort of tunnel vision and actually blocks you from being able to perceive or be aware of alternate pathways and alternate routes, which is one reason why it can block you from getting it.

32:37Because a lot of times, you know, we have a goal and we have something that we want to accomplish. And I know for me personally, I had a goal and I had to be very open to alternate pathways in my life. I had to be very open to like, okay, and, you know, we'll go down the road and maybe this road isn't it and we'll take a different road. But being able to be open to alternate pathways that actually you're less able to do that and you're less open-minded and you have more of tunnel vision whenever you are kind of desperately attached to something. And also whenever we are chronically stressed, I mean, that puts us in fight or flight.

33:12And when the nervous system is dysregulated, I mean, it becomes way harder to rewire your brain. And I like to use the analogy of a kid in a classroom. Like if you're a kid in a classroom and you are being bullied by every single student, it's gonna be really hard to pay attention to the teacher and actually learn what's being said. But if you feel safe in that classroom, the kid can actually feel safe to learn and pay attention to the teacher and absorb what's being said. And it works the same way in our lives. It's like if we're feeling stressed and anxious all the time, it's really going to be difficult to be focused on whatever goal that we have.

33:41And so that's another kind of piece of it. And then there's another piece of it, which is sort of this incubation effect in the brain. And I'm sure you've noticed that if you're sitting there and you're thinking about a problem or a challenge or you're wanting an answer to something and you can't necessarily think of the way of the answer. But then as soon as you walk away from it and you go for a walk or you're in the shower or whenever it is, all of a sudden the answer comes and whatever you wanted to say comes. That's the incubation effect. And our subconscious mind or like the other kind of areas in the brain can process a lot more information and make a lot more connections than our conscious mind can when we're sort of focusing on something.

34:19And so whenever we're desperately wanting something or attached to it and we're thinking about it all the time and we're kind of stopping that from happening, we're stopping the incubation effect to do its magic. of sort of going to work behind the scenes and coming up with the answers. And so that's another reason why letting go can be so helpful. And that doesn't mean that you're not going to work towards your goals. That doesn't mean that you're not going to be focused on your goals, but it means that you work toward it and you worry about the inputs and you worry about what you can do, but you sort of let go of the how and the when.

34:52And it also allows you to enjoy the journey, which is really important. And I think that's, if not one of the most important things when it comes to all of it is enjoying the journey. And I always say, you know, life is about the journey. If it were about the destination, it would be called death. It's about the journey. And so enjoying the journey is super important. And when you're desperately attached to something, especially, you know, when it's a long-term sort of situation, you're going to be, you're withholding reward and you're withholding feeling proud of yourself and feeling accomplished for a long time.

35:24And I don't think that anybody should really live that way either. Yeah, you can torment yourself. Yeah, exactly. You can torture yourself if you do it. And it can lead to greatness, but at what cost? Right. It absolutely can. But knowing myself, and I think that that's a very important piece of this, and knowing myself is that one of my top values is joy. And being able to enjoy my life and enjoy the journey of my life. And so for me, yeah, I think remembering to enjoy the journey. But also I've found that I do so much better in my work and creative process when I am in joy. And so I think that joy isn't necessarily like a break or like an additional reward, but it also is sort of a necessity if we want our brain to be in its most optimized state.

36:11because tons of studies show that play and being in your joy, it actually boosts creativity and also boosts longevity and our immune system function and all of the things. So it's really good for our physical health as well as our mental health. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. You've reminded me of two things. One thing I always say to people is you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagine it. The idea that you're going in the direction, but the path it's going to take is going to be totally different. And so what you want may even change if you're moving at the pace you want to go.

36:45And one of the things I love that you said, your value is joy. One of my values, deep values is love. And I always say to myself, I always want to move at the pace of love. I want to move as fast as I can while still loving it. Because if I start hating it, then it's not worth it. Even if I move three times the speed that I'm at right now, because I want to move at the pace of love. I want to move at a pace that I'm in love with myself. I'm in love with what I'm doing and I'm in love with what I'm serving rather than I'm moving really, really fast. We're getting there, but I actually hate it and I'm upset at myself.

37:16Yeah. I think it's super important to know in Minecraft, in the very beginning, I have people get to know themselves and their key values because in my business, actually like working in business, I've had kind of, I don't want to use the word standoffs, but situations where I've had to bring up. And so mine, what I have mine broken down into three parts. And one of the parts is to be, to have love and joy. And for me, it's the exact same way. It's like, yes, we could do all of this and we could move at this speed and we could. But at the cost of my love, at the cost of feeling love and joy, it's not worth it to me.

37:50And so I completely resonate with that. Yeah. What is the number one thing people are coming to you in Minecraft and your community for coaching? What's the number one thing you're seeing amongst young people? Minecraft is a pretty wide range. I would say it's from like 20s up to 60s. So we've got a pretty wide range of people. And so I would say the reasons why people come into Minecraft are pretty variable. But I think I like that you asked the question about people feeling stuck because I think that that's a big reason why people do come to Minecraft and understanding kind of the neuroscience of reality and how life works and how the brain builds reality is sort of an eye opener.

38:30It was an eye opener for me. It's an eye opener for a lot of people, but then also seeing how your brain is really like directing you and then directing how you feel and your actions and all of that. And so I think a big reason is that people do feel stuck and they want they and also, I mean, just I got to meet with some people in Minecraft in person recently. and one person said that he joined because he wanted to find purpose in his life and connect more deeply with his spiritual, his spirituality. And he found that not only did he find his purpose, but he actually just launched a nonprofit, which is super cool.

39:04Yeah. A lot of people surprisingly, and I guess surprisingly or not, I don't really know what I was expecting when I started Minecraft. I just sort of started it because I wanted to give people everything that helped me get to where I am in one place. But I've found that a lot of people end up quitting their nine to five jobs and starting their own thing. And not that, and of course there are people who love their nine to five jobs and they're in them, but surprisingly a lot of people do embark on that journey. And so I think a lot of people join because they want to really find what lights them up and what calls to them.

39:40And I think that when you figure out who you are on a super deep level and you then figure out how your brain works and you understand all the little kind of nuances of focus and stress and anxiety and nervous system regulation and of course like identity and your sense of self and how all that works then you kind of have this sort of freedom to go and create the life that you really want what's your take on manifestation i'm 100 000 believe in manifestation What version? Walk me through your... Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think a lot of people don't believe in manifestation because they think that it's this thing where you just sit down and think until it pops up into your reality.

40:23And I don't really see it that way. So I guess my take on manifestation is really sort of just understanding the neuroscience of reality and how the brain works. There's actually a really cool study. So I'll tell you about this study. Please. This study actually really greatly explains how manifestation works. at least in my eyes. So there's a study done in the 1970s where they took kittens and they raised one group of kittens. They raised them all in complete darkness. They took one group of kittens and they showed them only horizontal lines, horizontal black and white lines. So they're raised mostly in complete darkness, except for a few hours a day where they're shown only horizontal black and white lines.

41:02And then a different group was shown only vertical black and white lines. They allowed their brains to develop through, you know, their adolescence. And then when they were, their brains were more developed, their visual systems were developed, they put them in a normal environment with chairs and tables and all the things. And what they found was that the kittens that were raised to only see horizontal lines, they couldn't see vertical objects. They would bump into table legs and chair legs because their brains weren't programmed or wired to see them. The brain develops in a way that helps us survive in our environment that we grew up in.

41:38And so the kittens that could only see the vertical lines as they were raised, they could see, they would weave in and out of table legs and chair legs and all that, but they wouldn't jump up onto tabletops or chairs to perch the way that the kittens that were raised to see horizontal lines would. And so I think that that study kind of really showed me that if the way that kittens were raised kind of determined what they could then see or perceive in their reality, like what am I missing in my life because of the way that my brain is wired and the way that I was programmed by my environment? And I think that's where sort of certain activities like shadow work kind of come in.

42:17But recognizing that you really can only see in your reality what your brain is wired for. And so that job, that relationship, that thing that you're trying to manifest or create into your life, it might be right in front of you, but you're missing it because your brain is not programmed to see it or construct it, right? And it's super cool because there was someone who came to my masterclass. I host free masterclasses and he said he had been searching for a job for two years and two weeks after the masterclass, he got his dream job. And to me, it's just, it's a really cool example, but also like when you wire your brain to become a match.

42:58And so that's what it's really, it's all about. It's sort of that like neuroscience meets law of attraction sort of situation where when you wire your brain to become a match so that it can actually construct the experience that you're wanting to experience, that's when you can see it. And that's why I say like, you need to act like it, or you need to be it before you can see it. It's because the brain has to be a match for it in order to even construct whatever it is. Like you can be in the best relationship ever, but make it toxic or you won't be perceiving it as that if your brain isn't wired to be in a healthy relationship.

43:31And so I think it really is about rewiring your brain so that you can perceive the things that you want. And so for me, that's what manifestation is all about. For me, manifestations, it is, I guess, an entire, it is a mental game. It is about rewiring your brain so that you can become a match to whatever it is that you want. But then, of course, that requires action. You don't rewiring your brain. Yes, it can be done through visualization and all of that. But a lot of the circuitry, like habit formation, all that, a lot of it comes from action and from doing. And so I do think that of course it requires action, but taking aligned action.

44:09And when, and I think that it's important to recognize that when, when you have action, but your brain isn't programmed to see it, then you'll be taking action for a long time. You might achieve it, you might not. But when, and when you're of course only doing the brain component or the energetic component of it, the mental component, you might become this great thing, but then it's going to take action for you to go. And I think that when you have both your brain is programmed for whatever it is that you want and you're taking action toward what you want, then that's when you become completely unstoppable.

44:38Yeah. It's so interesting to hear about the exposure of the kittens, what they had, the vertical and horizontal lines. I remember I was coaching someone a few years back and they told me that the richest person they knew made$100 ,000 a year. And so then I introduced them to someone who made$100 ,000 a month. And they were like, oh my God, I didn't know you could make$100 ,000 a month. Then I introduced them to someone who made$100 ,000 a day. And then they're like, oh, wait a minute, like I didn't know you could make$100 ,000 a day. And then I introduced them to someone who makes $100 ,000 an hour.

45:07And it was just incredible to watch their mind expand because it was just a glitch almost in their belief system of what was possible. And that wasn't about that person wanting to become really rich or wealthy. It was just about the idea of, can you expand the mind out enough to be exposed to something that it hasn't seen before and heard before? And all of a sudden the person's being able to wire differently and being able to conceptualize dreams and businesses and ideas that they never have because they just weren't aware. And I always think about that. Like what's the prison that we've created for ourselves?

45:40No matter how big your world is or how small your world is, it just ends up being that size. And it's hard to do that if you haven't left your town or met someone outside of your landscape or met someone in a different career path. I mean, I talk about it all the time. Growing up, I didn't know anyone who looked like me who worked in media or was on television or worked in any sort of way. I just didn't see anyone. And if you haven't seen it, it's so hard to experience it or dream to become it because you just think people like you don't do that. Right. Exactly. And that's why I'm really big on normalizing your dreams to yourself.

46:15Because yeah, exactly. If your brain hasn't been exposed to it, it's going to be really hard to honestly even set the goal for yourself to be it or have it. And, you know, I've definitely had people like my business partner and fiance. He, he definitely showed me a lot on the business side of things that I had never experienced before. And I was like, well, there's a whole different world out there that I didn't even know existed. but then also kind of more in the content creation space and like meeting people when I did. I'm big into moving. And I love that you said that if you haven't been outside of your hometown, because for me, moving is just an incredible way to level up your life.

46:49And I love to talk about the brain also being an association machine. So the brain loves to make connections and associations between things. And when you move into a new environment, the brain has no prior associations to anything. It's like, it's a clean slate. And so it's really easy to establish a new identity or sort of new beliefs or a new mindset in a new environment because your brain has no prior associations to kind of hold you back in that past version of yourself. And so it's really easy to start anew. But yeah, and I love going and putting myself in environments where I'm being around people or places or things that are expanding my mind.

47:27It's an incredible way to to level up in your life and in your mindset and, and in your ability to even set goals for yourself. Because I think for a long time, for me, I didn't even know what I wanted to do or be or have. I didn't, I didn't know, like, I didn't know any of it. And so I think exposing myself to that. And like when I moved across the country to Miami, I didn't know a single person there, but being around certain people, I knew I was like, you know, this person, not necessarily do they resonate with me, but I know that they were brought into my reality to show me what's possible.

48:00And it really did expand my mind. So I'm grateful for that.

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49:53feature a special bestie and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is the diva of the people. The diva of the people! I'm just like, text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. We're good, man. That's us. My name is Curly. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the My Cultura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

50:37Hey sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance bro tell you how to manage your money again? Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates, I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable.

51:10Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100 % can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt and it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

51:46How do we manifest based on neuroscience? How would neuroscience suggest we do that? Yeah. So I have a three-step process. I love them. I love them too. I know you do. I know you have a three-step process. I love me some steps and making it simple. That goes back to my scientist days. So when it comes to manifesting, it really is the same thing for anything that you want. So the first step is to identify the feelings. identify the feelings that you believe the thing that you want is going to bring you I always say you don't want the thing that you want you want the feeling that you believe the thing that you want is going to bring you so for example if you are wanting a relationship then you might the feeling you might be after is to be loved and feel safe and supported if you're wanting a whole bunch of money it might be freedom it might be security again safety and security and freedom, whatever it is, right?

52:40So those are a few examples, but whatever it is that you want, write down whatever it is that you want, and then write down the feelings that you believe those things that you want are going to bring you. It's super important to identify the feelings. And I get a lot of questions from people like, what if I don't know what I want? If you don't know what you want, that's fine. You can still write down the feelings that you want, because I think a lot of times maybe we don't know. And I think a lot of times also we think we know what we want, but we don't really know what we want, but it really is the feeling that rafter.

53:05And so identify the feelings. That's the first step. Identify the feelings and write them down. And then from there, make two lists. The first list is a list of reasons why you already have to feel that way. And so for example, for me, I actually held a manifestation workshop in my community and I was my, I always use personal examples. So mine was a million followers on Instagram and I didn't have it at the time. And I live on that call, I realized, oh, what I'm really after is feeling official and accomplished. Like I want to feel official and accomplished. That's really what I want. And so then I identify those feelings, right?

53:39And so then the next step is to write a list of reasons I already have to feel that way. I think a lot of times, again, our brain isn't even letting us acknowledge that we actually can already feel that way in the present. And I was like, I already have this business. I'm coaching people. I'm changing lives. I have a giant following on social media, even if it's not a million. I have a lot of reasons to feel official and accomplished already. And writing a list of all those reasons down. And I have people in my community that they print out their resume and put it in their bathroom mirror, like all of the things that they've done, right.

54:08To make them feel that way. But write down a list of the reasons why you already have to feel that way. That's brilliant. I love that. And then the second list is a list of things, right. So sometimes people will be like, well, I don't have any reason to feel that way. Which to that, I would argue, try harder, but there is another list. And the list is a list of things that you can give yourself that you are in control over to feel that way. So if I'm trying to feel official and accomplished, what can I do today to make myself feel more accomplished? Well, for me, I always feel accomplished after I complete a workout.

54:40I always feel like I know that I'm writing a book. I can go write a few pages of my book that will help me feel accomplished. And so again, what will help me feel official? I mean, the definition, what does official mean to me? I guess for me, it's just like, oh, I made it. And I guess that for that, I could go and maybe read comments from people like saying like, oh, you really helped me or whatever it is. So what are some activities that you can do to give yourself that feeling? And I think combining the two is important, right? Because again, acknowledging all the reasons why you already have to feel that way, but then also becoming more aware of things that you can do in the moment to make yourself feel that way.

55:15And when you start doing that, and after like two months after doing that practice on myself, I had a million followers on Instagram. And I do believe and know that it shifted my energy, right? Like I'm creating now from a different space of feeling more official and accomplished. And so I think that that kind of process of identifying the feelings, recognizing all the reasons you already have to feel that way, and then becoming aware of things that you can do to help yourself feel that way even more. When you start doing that, now you have the feelings that you want already. And now you're in a place where you can also be detached from the outcome.

55:49It's not going to stop you. You should still go and work toward the thing that you're wanting, right? But that's how you rewire your brain. So that's sort of the neuroscience component. Of course, we could go way deeper into this and talk about this for hours. But this is sort of like my short, condensed three-step neuroscience component to becoming a match to whatever it is that you want. And now when you're going and working toward the journey, when I was going and working toward a million followers, now I'm working toward it with a different energy. I'm working toward it as a match to whatever it is that I want.

56:17Yeah, that match piece is brilliant. I love the way you broke that down. I think we all forget how many difficult things we've already done and how many amazing barriers that we've already broken through and how many challenges we've already overcome. And if you just took a moment to recognize that, you'd feel so confident because each and every person who's listening to us has been through hell and back in their own way. And that experience is something we kind of take for granted. We just don't, we don't realize how hard it was because to us, it was normal. Right. We don't recognize just how much beauty there is in it.

56:50That's brilliant. Do you believe that you can miss something if it was meant for you? I don't, I don't believe that, um, if you can miss something that's meant for you. Um, because I think that really we are on this journey to learn lessons and level up in our own little game of life. And so I don't believe that. And I think that if there is something that you think that you missed out on that you believe was meant for you, I think that I'm a firm believer in divine timing. So everything happens in divine timing, maybe not at that time, but it will come around and cycle back. I think that also life happens in these sort of cycles where every time you level up or just, you'll see the same situation over and over again.

57:36So I don't think that you can miss something that was meant for you. If you're not a match for whatever it is that you want, I do think that you can miss it. But then in that case, it wasn't meant for you at that time. I think you were talking about how if you judge someone, you can internalize those same things that you're judging about them. And I really like that you brought that out because I think one of the other biggest distractions right now is actually jealousy, comparison, gossip. There's a sense of like, we'll talk about the person. It's what you said was your fear with even becoming more public and being more vulnerable is that people put themselves out there, then other people point to them, either make fun of it or call it cringe or whatever it may be.

58:21And then we don't realize we're actually just setting ourselves up for failure too, because then we're not able to put ourselves out there. Talk to me about what do we do with feelings of jealousy and comparison when they're so human, they're natural for us all to feel, but how do we transform them into something actually useful for us rather than something unhealthy? Yeah, I think for jealousy, a huge thing that I would do when I first, I don't remember where I learned this from, but I have a mantra or a statement that I say, and when I see somebody with something that I want, I say, that's for me.

58:54And I think jealousy a lot of time is it is just fear with a mask. It's fear that we can't have it too. It's fear that this person can achieve this goal or have this thing and I can't have it. And so I'm going to be jealous of them. And I think that it is sort of a limiting belief and a limiting kind of mindset and behavior to be jealous of somebody because you're basically telling your brain that you can't have it whenever you're jealous of someone. You're basically reinforcing to yourself, that's not for me. And so recognizing that, that when you're jealous of someone, you're teaching your brain, that's not for me, then you're like, oh, wow, I don't want to do that anymore.

59:32I want to teach my brain. And I think that a lot of times we are shown things in reality to see them. And when our brain is triggered by this thing, it's because we actually want it to, and it's to be shown something that we can then go and work toward. And so I started saying to myself, that's for me. And I remember actually when I first moved to Miami and I was on the beach and I went on the beach and there was this couple having this super romantic picnic on the sand and I was very single. and um I just I remember looking at them and I took a video I was like that's for me and just like being so you took a creepy video from afar like that's for me too and it's though it's really cool though because I think maybe it was about a year later that I'm less than that actually um that I met my fiance and then we were both in Florida and we were doing that so it's super cool um how that works so yeah I think recognizing that you don't want to teach your brain that you're limited in that way.

1:00:23Teach your brain that that's possible for you too. And so recognizing that that's really what jealousy is, is just fear with a mask. Yeah. I really like the idea of that's for me and the idea that when you are jealous of someone, it's actually saying that's not for me. And that is the emotion that blocks you because, and then you justify it. You come up with so many reasons for why you don't like what that person's doing or so many reasons for why you deserve that and they don't, but none of that actually motivates you to get out there. How much do you believe that our matching is feeling we're worthy of something or deserving of something?

1:00:55Like when you say that's for me, that's you saying like, well, I deserve a love like that. I deserve a picnic on the beach like that. How much do we struggle? What's happening in the brain when we're struggling with feeling worthy or deserving of that? Yeah, I think it really is just a worthiness component to it. And I think that there are different components to achieving whatever it is that we want or having whatever it is we want. And like believing that it's possible is huge, but also believing that you are deserving and worthy of it. And worthiness comes down to self-love and knowing yourself.

1:01:31And I think self-love really is one of the biggest components to all of this that we're talking about today and loving yourself. And so, and loving yourself is about more than just like doing self-love practices, it's also about knowing yourself and knowing who you are in the light parts and also in the dark parts and giving yourself grace and also accepting all that you are and accepting every single piece of yourself. And so when it comes to self-love, of course, there are so many. I mean, the first thing on that, what I would say is really your self-talk and recognizing how you're talking to yourself is so important.

1:02:06But I've seen insane shifts in my own life when And I have decided that I'm worthy of something. And a lot of times we don't, again, it's sort of that on that same playing field of getting specific about your fears, like getting specific about your limiting beliefs and where you are limiting yourself. And I think that worthiness is a big component to that. And so recognizing that you are worthy of whatever it is that you want is so important. And yeah, I mean, you can, of course, like make a list of all the reasons why you deserve it and why you are worthy of it. And that's great. But also like, it really can just be a decision to decide that I am worthy of this.

1:02:48Like I am worthy of this and I do deserve it. And really like stepping into that. And if you don't believe that you're worthy of it, then that's again, an area where you can take it all the way to the end and ask yourself why, like, why don't I believe that I'm worthy of this? And then getting clear on that and getting clear on your why. And then again, you can rewrite the story from there and kind of create a new narrative around whether or not you're worthy of something. But back whenever I was in the PhD, I would go to this temple all the time and hang out with all these monks. And I got like really close with a couple of them.

1:03:20And I think one of my greatest takeaways from the time that I spent there and just learning from them and talking to them is that wanting things, wanting material things and physical things, whether it's money or a job or a relationship, whatever it is, it's not a bad thing. It's not bad to want to make more money. It's not bad. It's actually one of the most spiritual things that you can do is to be abundant because that's the state of nature is abundant. When a tree blossoms with fruit, it's abundant with fruit. And so we are abundant by nature and recognizing that and that the divine by nature is abundant.

1:03:58And so recognizing that you deserve to be abundant as well. And recognizing that honestly really helped me because before that I thought, and I think this is also where a lot of like the hate or like, cause I've got, I've seen people before say things like, oh, it's bad to want money. I don't like money and all of that. I think a lot of it comes from that place as well. It's like thinking that it's bad or feeling guilty or shameful for wanting to achieve it. And I think it's really important to recognize that you don't need to feel shameful or guilty for wanting things. that's actually like you came here to expand consciousness and expand along with the universe.

1:04:32The universe is expanding. We're here to expand. And a lot of times that does mean to go after whatever material thing that we're wanting. And that's, again, it's not about the material thing. It's about who we're going to become on the journey toward achieving the material thing. But if the material thing is driving you, that's not a bad thing and you don't have to feel ashamed of it and you can actually feel worthy of it. Yeah. It's so interesting how we think of limiting beliefs as being, I'm not good enough or I'm not smart enough, but shame and guilt can be limiting beliefs as well. Like I don't, I feel like if I want that, then I'm a bad person.

1:05:04And if I want that, then I'm not a good person or whatever it may be. And what do we do with that? What do we do with limiting beliefs of I'm not good enough? And what do we do with the shame and guilt of maybe I'm not a good person if I want that? Yeah. So on the, I'm not good enough piece, I think that's where I like to adopt the game of life mindset when you make it to a new level of a game you're tech you're good enough to get there because you passed the previous level and you're on this new level but are you really good enough to play this level yet like no you haven't learned the way this level works you haven't learned the ins and outs usually it takes yourself you a few tries and you got to go and navigate and learn the rules of this new level of life and this level of the game.

1:05:55And so are you good enough to be on this level? Maybe not, but you're good enough to pass the previous one. But recognizing that that's okay. You're not meant to be perfect at this new level yet. You just got there. And so recognizing for me, I'm starting to write it. I might not be good enough to be a bestselling author yet, but it's going to be the journey that's going to make me into one. And so I think giving yourself permission, permission actually, to not be good enough to do the thing. And I mean, of course, like understanding who you are and knowing yourself and, and, and being confident.

1:06:27And I think I have like a hot take when it comes to competence that it doesn't have to, you're like, competence isn't about achievements or accomplishments. Confidence is knowing who you are. And I have a track on like all streaming platforms. I'm like, I'm not trying to plug this right now, but it's called like, you don't even realize who you are. And, and I think for me, whenever I was first starting the journey, to go into the PhD and moving to Arizona where I didn't know a single person there. I had people asking me like, aren't you afraid? Are you nervous? And I wasn't at all. And thinking about why I wasn't, it was because I had just embarked on this journey of self-improvement and knowing myself and self-awareness and also like a huge spiritual journey that I was on.

1:07:04And I think that those two things together and this sort of trust and surrender mentality, I had trust and surrender written on sticky notes everywhere. Did I necessarily think I was good enough to be this like amazing scientists doing all these things. I don't know if I really believed that, but I believe that I was capable of being good enough to do it. So recognizing, of course, like innately, I am worthy, but also like mentally and physically, maybe I haven't gained those skills yet, but that's okay. I don't need to have those skills yet. From there, you can really, again, it all comes back to your why of why you want those things.

1:07:37Like for me, I don't feel ashamed, like I don't feel ashamed or guilty for saying I wanted a million followers because I know that with my platform growing, then I can impact and help more people. And that's my overall goal. And so, yes, of course, I want a million followers. Honestly, if I'm being honest with myself, I want even more. And that's okay to want that. But also understanding that what is driving me to even build this from the beginning, because I never even, my plan was never to be a content creator in the first place. I was just becoming a scientist. And then the content about science was taking off.

1:08:10It really is about helping people reach their maximum potential and giving people the information that I wish I had whenever I was younger that I didn't have. And so recognizing my why and other people don't need to know that. And I think one of the things that I've had to really release on my journey is being understood and accepted by everyone. And when you are, I always say that being misunderstood is the tax that you pay for being authentic. And so, and authenticity is the most magnetic energy that you could possibly have. Like you are so powerful because that's really, if I have to name a purpose that can be distilled down to everyone, that is your purpose to be you because you came to this planet to be exactly who you are.

1:08:50You were made on purpose and so that is your purpose to be you. Being yourself and being authentic is super powerful and me kind of being myself and sharing that, that is me just being authentic. But also, I don't feel ashamed for it because I know my why and I know that it's a lot bigger than me and I know that it's going to be like helpful for people. And that's what's driving me, you know, and there are people that, that, and I can't speak for everyone, but there are people in my, in my personal life that, that want to make more money and they are driven by money. And I think from there it's like, okay, but what is your, why?

1:09:24Like, why do you want to make more money? And a lot of times it's okay. I want to be able to take care of my family. I want to be able to have a sense of freedom and safety and security. I don't want to have to worry about certain things. And that is completely valid and okay. And I think, again, you mentioned giving yourself grace before, and that's something that I've recognized through working with people, that most people do not give themselves enough grace. We really do. And forgiveness is powerful practice, forgiving others, but also forgiving yourself. But I think that when it comes to feeling guilty or feeling shameful, I think thinking about it from the neuroscience perspective to kind of attack from both sides here, realizing that you learned that story.

1:10:06And that doesn't mean that it's true. And so if you feel guilty for wanting money or a specific job, if you feel like that makes you a bad person, realize that you learned that from somewhere. And that doesn't mean that it's truth. It means that that's what was programmed into you. And from there, and this is what I tell people with limiting beliefs as well, is look for evidence of the opposite. Look for evidence of people. And I have people, someone in my community was like, oh, yeah, there's this guy who's super rich, multimillionaire, and he uses that money and donates it to charity and does a lot of great things.

1:10:38And so that's a great example of someone who has gone out and made a lot of money and then used it for good. And so, of course, there are the opposite side of that as well. But that doesn't mean that that's going to be you. And so recognizing that is important, too.

1:11:01Have you ever looked at a piece of abstract art or music or poetry and thought, that's just a bunch of pretentious nonsense? Well, that's exactly what two bored Australian soldiers set out to prove during World War II, when they pulled off what was either a bold literary hoax or a grand poetic experiment, publishing over a dozen intentionally bad but highly acclaimed works of expressionist poetry under the name Urn Malley in an incident that caused a media firestorm and even a criminal trial. The Earn Mally episode made fools of believers and critics alike and still fascinates poetry lovers to this day.

1:11:35We break down the truth, the lies, and the poetry in between on Hoax, a new podcast hosted by me, Lizzie Logan. And me, Dana Schwartz. Every episode, Hoax explores an audacious fraud or ruse from history, from forged artworks to the original fake news, to try and answer why we believe. Listen to Hoax on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of Heavyweight, I help a centenarian mend a broken heart. How can a 101-year-old woman fall in love again? And I help a man atone for an armed robbery he committed at 14 years old.

1:12:19And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a joke. And he got down, and I remember feeling kind of a surge of like, Okay, this is power. Plus, my old friend Gregor and his brother try to solve my problems through hypnotism. We could give you a whole brand new thing where you're like super charming all the time. Being more able to look people in the eye. Not always hide behind a microphone. Listen to Heavyweight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1:12:54Hey guys, it's AZFUD. You may know me as a gold medalist. You may know me as an NCAA national champion and recent most outstanding player. You may even know me as a people's princess. But now you're also going to know me as your favorite host. Every week on my new podcast, Fud Around and Find Out, I'll give you an inside look at everything happening in my crazy life as I try to balance it all. From my travels across the globe to preparing for another run at the Natty with my Yukon Huskies to just trying to make it to my midterms on time. You'll get the inside scoop on everything. I'll be talking to some special guests about pop culture, basketball, and what it's like to be a professional athlete on and off the court.

1:13:32You'll even get to have some fun with the FUD family. So if you follow me on social media or watch me on TV, you may think you know me. But this show is the only place where you can really FUD around and find out. Listen to FUD around and find out, a production of iHeart Women's Sports in partnership with Unanimous Media, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1:14:03yeah what i appreciate is you're such a student of your own work like you you're you're testing these things out on yourself you're creating the things you wanted when you were younger what's the work you're doing on yourself right now like what are you working on and building for yourself right now recently i have been doing a lot of re-releasing of being accepted and understood by other people. That's something that I've been writing down a lot in my journal. But also tapping back into more of my creative side, something I live and swear by is doing morning brain dumps. So every single morning I wake up and I write for about 30 minutes in my journal and I just write.

1:14:47It's great for a lot of reasons, but also it is a great way of practicing non-judgment of yourself. If you just allow yourself to get into flow and just write in your journal without judging it, without really overthinking it, but just stream of consciousness writing, it's really kind of priming your brain for flow for the rest of the day as well as practicing non-judgment of yourself and getting into more of a creative state. But also it's a really great way to observe your own patterns too. So I love kind of analyzing myself in that way. But that's really something that I've been tapping into.

1:15:19And also, I guess just really giving myself more grace because the past few weeks have been insane in my life. Like we just closed on a house and we're moving and getting engaged and all that. And I think, like I was telling you, the house is a mess. We don't have furniture and there's a lot going on, but recognizing that the messy middle is proof of growth. And sometimes the in-between stages mean that you're growing and leveling up. And so giving myself grace and that as well as, And recognizing like, okay, yeah, things are not put together right now. Like we are not settled. I feel displaced.

1:15:51I feel a little bit all over the place. But recognizing that that means that I'm in a journey of leveling up and is a good sort of mindset to have while doing this. So I would say that those are really some of the key things that I'm working, I'm kind of acknowledging and wiring into my brain right now. You're releasing the need to be accepted by people. what is the part of you that is craved to be accepted that you're trying to release? So I think for me, I guess me understanding my why and understanding that I really am here to just help people in every way that I can. It's sort of tough when you, when you see comments or get DMs from people.

1:16:32And I mean, people have negative things to say, or they pick on like certain things like, oh, I can't believe that you would do this or whatever. And it's just like, damn, I'm trying so hard to be a positive force for good. And no matter what I do, it seems like so. And so I've recognized sort of recently that maybe it's having a little more effect on me than I would like it to. And so becoming aware of that and now also recognizing that, I think a big thing that I've realized, and I guess another thing that I've been working on a lot lately is play and being in my joy more. Because actually, we were in Sedona a couple of weeks ago, and it was funny because, and this is, you had mentioned a little bit about the videos, like what you put out and what you put onto people is actually mirrored in your brain and you're really putting it onto yourself.

1:17:15Um, but I, we went to this like aura reading thing and Alec, he asked me, he was like, what color is my aura going to be? And I told him Brown. And, and he's like, what's your gold? Mine's going to be gold. And we go there and mine was Brown. And, um, it really is true. Like you get what you give and there's tons of neuroscience behind. Was his gold? Yeah. It was gold. Yeah. And it really is like, I mean, obviously like, and you kind of mentioned it a little bit, but when you talk about badly about other people or just make any sort of comments, like you are activating those pathways in your brain.

1:17:50And so your brain isn't necessarily even making the difference that it's about someone else. You're just focusing on that emotion and you're focusing on negativity or complaining. And for me, it's like, okay, yeah, I'm focusing on that brown aura. But really what I was told in that was like, you need to be pouring into yourself more, like you're pouring into a lot of other people and you need to be pouring back into yourself more. And I've come to recognize that the comparison, the jealousy, the being bothered by what other people have to say, it has a lot less of an effect when you're actually really enjoying your life.

1:18:23And so pouring back into myself more and spending more time in play and like going on my ripstick and going hiking and playing with my dog. but allowing myself to actually be in my joy more often and pouring more into myself is actually something that I've been doing more often that I kind of fell off of doing and it I think that's one way that I am kind of lessening the effect of that because yeah I recognize that it was having more of an effect on me and I have learned that those comments and what other people have to say it really has less effect on you when you are actually truly enjoying your own life and feeling confident in yourself.

1:19:03That, and I also had a dream. I had this dream about the neuroscience of reality and why you shouldn't listen to what other people have to say. And that actually, of course, it told me everything I needed to know, and I made a video about it. And it was like, basically the neuroscience of reality in short is just the idea and understanding how the brain works that your brain is constructing your entire experience of reality. Everything that you hear, see, like you don't see with your eyes, you see with your brain. All your eyes do is just take in light signals. And then those light signals travel through the brain where your thoughts and your emotions and your beliefs and your past, it's all incorporated before the image is even put together that you see.

1:19:45This is why they've shown differences in activity in people that when they look in the mirror, like they have sort of body dysmorphia or whatever it is. They've shown differences in brain activity in those people. So it's not just that like, oh, it's all in their head. But really, their brain is actually constructing the image of them differently. And so this works with everything in your reality. This is just how it works. It's not just vision also. It's the same thing with sound. All of it. And so recognizing that what that means is my brain is different than your brain. You live in a completely different world than I do because your brain is constructing the world differently.

1:20:21You have a different brain. And so it's constructing a different world. And this is why actually science shows that no two people see color the exact same way because no two people have the exact same brain. I used to work in a color vision lab and I got to see how different objects were plotted on this color map and how different individuals would see the same color fruit. And it was pretty cool to see that. But yeah, and so recognizing that, like, okay, every single person is seeing the world differently. Like they're essentially living in a different reality. And so when somebody makes a comment or they say something, that might be actually true for their reality.

1:20:55It might be true for them. That might be the world that they live in. But that doesn't mean that it has to be the world that I live in. It doesn't mean that it has to be true for my reality. And so recognizing that, and of course, like everybody's on their own journey, their own timeline, their own path. They have their own programming, like the kittens. Like imagine the kittens that were raised with the horizontal lines giving advice to the kittens with the vertical lines. The kittens with the vertical lines would be like, what are you talking about? That doesn't make sense at all. And it's the same thing for people.

1:21:24We're all programmed and raised differently. And that's why, you know, we should take what resonates and leave what does not resonate. But also I think that that's given me a lot of reassurance. So thankful for that dream. but it's given me a lot of reassurance on my journey of releasing that. Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I wanted to talk to you about love. You just got engaged two weeks ago and you've said that you don't attract what you want, you attract what your brain is wired for. And I wanted to ask you for anyone right now who's in that space where they're like, I want to be in love.

1:21:59I want to find my person, but maybe they just got broken up with. What do you do when you're feeling, going back to what we talked about earlier, you're almost feeling so desperate that you just want to find this person and you keep hearing different forms of advice. Someone's like, yeah, you just got to get on the apps. You got to focus. And the other person saying, no, you'll find someone when you're least interested in looking for them. People are confused. Where do they start from a neuroscience point of view? Yeah. So I can share my story of it all. And of course, it's really funny because whenever I was still dating, I used to, people in my life would be like, Em, you date like a scientist.

1:22:34And I absolutely did date like a scientist. So everything, I like to be super intentional with the way that I do things. So whenever I would date people or go on dates or whatever it is, like I said, you do have to be a match for it, but also you should be sort of putting yourself in positions. But so I would go on dates and stuff or whatever. And actually what ended up happening was I ended up with a list. I love lists, if that's not obvious. I ended up with a list of all the different qualities that I wanted in a partner because I became very aware and clear of what I didn't like in people and what I did, at least for myself, right?

1:23:06And so these weren't necessarily physical attributes, but values and different characteristics of a person. I took stock of, okay, where am I a match to that and where am I not? If I'm wanting someone that's physically active and physically healthy and into fitness and likes to eat healthy and all that? Like, am I living that lifestyle, right? Like, am I a match for that? And so I think that's the first step is getting super clear. And I think also understanding what you want is very important when it comes to wanting to date someone. So, or wanting to meet your person. That's honestly what I did is I would treat it like an experiment and collect data of all the different things that I valued and things that I didn't.

1:23:45And then on that list, recognizing like, okay, where am I out of sync with whatever it is that I'm asking for? Am I asking for something that I'm not currently embodying and then embodying that. And then honestly, what happened was I did give up. I did actually give up. I met my fiance literally the same week I had said to my friends, I'm giving up on dating. I went through like a little bit of like a talking stage and then ended it. And I was like, I'm giving up. I'm just going to focus on my business. I'm going to focus on content. I'm going to, I'm just going to do me. And, and, and literally I was in the middle of doing me.

1:24:20And you heard the story of like how we met, but we met on a work call. So I was in the process of doing me. And I think that it really does work well when it happens that way, because I met someone that was literally my perfect match. And it was really cool because I think maybe like a few weeks after we officially started dating or whatever it was, I went back and looked at the list and he checks every single box on that list. And so it works. And I think from that, for that, I also tell people like, don't ever settle, like don't settle for a person. And it was really cool because when I, it was that moment of like, oh, that's what it's supposed to feel like.

1:24:55Like for so long, I was like fighting to make certain things work or like trying to like make, explain myself in situations or whatever it is. But then finding that person that really understands you, that you don't have to over explain yourself all the time is, is really incredible. But yeah. And And so I guess just, again, getting clear on the feelings that you want. And I think when it comes to manifesting love from the neuroscience perspective of it, you do have to date yourself. And people do say that. And you do. You do have to be in love with yourself. And you do have to date yourself. And you do need to have a really good relationship with yourself.

1:25:30Because, I mean, the truth is, is that like relationships are like they are work. And you do have to pour into them. And there are going to be moments where you're going to maybe not see it the same way. But understanding yourself and really being really confident in who you are is really important, even for the longevity of a relationship. So it's more than just about finding your person, but also making that relationship last and making it a healthy relationship. Dating yourself and really being in love with yourself and having a positive relationship with yourself is super important. So I think, of course, then again, follow the three-step process that I said earlier.

1:26:08identify the feelings that you want the person to give you. Like, do you want them to make you feel safe? Do you want them to make you feel supported? Are you making yourself feel supported? Do you support yourself? Do you celebrate yourself? If you want someone to celebrate you, are you celebrating yourself? Because the way that it works is then if you get into a relation, you start dating someone or whatever it is, and they don't celebrate you. If you don't celebrate yourself, you might let that slide. But if you're celebrating yourself and you're loving yourself and showing yourself all of the being for yourself, all of the things that you're wanting from someone else, then you wouldn't, you wouldn't even settling, wouldn't even be in your vocabulary.

1:26:44Because as soon as somebody didn't do something that you would do for yourself, little switch will go off in your brain and be like, okay, something is a mismatch here. And it's not, maybe it's not completely a match or maybe it's something you need to communicate. But either way, again, giving yourself all of the feelings that you want to have from that person is then going to make you a match for it. And then also whenever you're dating someone that's not a match, again, that's where your question of, do you think that you can miss something that's meant for you? This is going to make you better at missing things that are not meant for you.

1:27:12Well said. Yeah, it's been great. I've learned so much. I think we've touched on everything from manifestation to relationships, to people dealing with self-doubt, to people knowing their values, getting to know themselves, being able to understand. My biggest takeaway has been this idea of the mismatch of identity with goal or even identity with the person. And I think that's going to help so many people. And I love all your steps and lists. Keep them coming. They're great. But Emily, we end every episode of On Purpose with a final five. These questions have to be answered in one word or one sentence maximum for each of them.

1:27:49And then sometimes I'll break the rules, but I'll let you know. So the first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? The best piece of advice I've ever heard or received is don't follow or do what you think you should do or what you think is going to work, but follow or do the thing that most lights you up because that's the thing that you're going to make work in the end. Well said. Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever heard or received? You have to do, you have to follow this diet or you have to create content this way. You have to have this schedule for posting.

1:28:25You have to do this, that, or the other. I think when you try to follow specific step-by-step paths that work for other people, and I think for the same reason of the neuroscience of reality and that you live in a different world, it might be true for somebody else's world, but it's not necessarily true for your world and your reality. And so I think any piece of advice that, my answer would be any piece of advice that is calling you to go against your own intuition. Question number three, for anyone who's listening to this, when they wake up tomorrow morning, what's one thing you'd like them to try or do differently?

1:29:02All right. When you wake up tomorrow morning, well, before you went to bed, I hope you didn't give yourself a whole bunch of cheap dopamine so that your dopamine stores can replenish themselves. But I would like them to try the three Ms, movement, mindset, and mindfulness. And they can be done in any order, but these three components in the morning, they make you that deeply rooted tree so that you're not swayed in the wind of life. And it can be as short as 15 minutes. It can take you two hours. For me, it depends on the day, but movement is super important. I mean, every single night as you sleep, your brain dumps a whole bunch of waste down into your neck through the glymphatic system.

1:29:44And if you're not moving in some way, shape or form, it will just sit there in your neck. And there's actually been some studies now showing they're linking that to Alzheimer's and cognitive decline. And so it's just super important to move your body. And back in my PhD days, whenever I was super busy, I would just hit three sun salutations, like one minute, and I would be done with that. And then mindfulness, and a lot of people ask me, like, what's the difference between mindfulness and mindset? For me, mindfulness is raking the soil and mindset is planting the seeds. So mindfulness can look like meditating.

1:30:18It can look like breath work, whatever that is. And then mindset for me is setting an intention or an affirmation or whatever it is. If you do those three things in the morning, you really will set yourself up for success on a level that you might not have ever seen before. Nice. Question number four, what's something that you've learned in neuroscience that still shocks you or something recently that you learned that really stands out to you about us? The one thing that still shocks me that is super powerful and really important to know that I'd never hear anybody talk about is how the vagus nerve ties in with our ability to manifest in our intuition.

1:30:57Talk to me about that. Yeah. So there's actually research to show that the level of how much our vagus nerve is toned actually is connected to our intuition. And of course, the vagus nerve is the 10th cranial nerve. And it's what is really responsible for that mind-body connection. and what they've found is that now, so when I say like the vagus nerve, how toned it is, you can think of it like a muscle. So when your muscles are really toned, when your muscles are really toned, they're stronger. When your vagus nerve is really toned, it's stronger. It's better. It's better. And so when you have more vagus tone, they've actually found that your sense of intuition is stronger.

1:31:36It's more accurate, but also your nervous system is more regulated. So you're in more of that kind of like rest and digest, feeling of safety. You're better able to rewire your brain. You're better able to learn new things. And it's super powerful. And something that I always tell people and I've talked about before is just how easy it is to tone it right in the moment. If you're feeling anxious, you can just start humming. And humming or om or whatever it is, it's really cool how ancient spiritual practices are already doing it. But humming actually tones the vagus nerve. And There are many ways to tone the vagus nerve, but that's one thing that you can do in real time that you'll immediately start to feel calmer and more relaxed in the moment.

1:32:18But yeah, and so they've shown that when your vagus nerve is not as toned, you actually have lower heart rate variability and heart rate variability is also linked to intuition and of course nervous system dysregulation. And so we're kind of more stuck in that fight or flight. Our intuition is less accurate. And so I think the vagus nerve is a kind of cool avenue to think about and talk about that I don't really hear a lot of people talking about when it comes to neuroscience and manifestation. Yeah, that's huge. I've never heard that before. Yeah. That's awesome. And what are the other ways of toning it?

1:32:46So you've got humming. Yeah, humming, grounding, exercise does it. Actually, a really cool gratitude practice, tones the vagus nerve. Wow. But yeah, and there are a lot of ways to tone it, but exercise, grounding, humming. There's actually, I had this device, which I mean, they're available everywhere, but they vibrate and through bone conduction actually can tone the vagus nerve as well. So there's a bunch of different ways to do it, but yeah. I love that. That was great. I'm glad I asked you. Yeah. I've never heard that. Fifth and final question, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show.

1:33:21if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? I would say I would want people to learn about the power of their minds. Yeah. Growing up, I had so many labels and all these different like diagnosis put onto me. And I thought I was just stuck that way. And I thought that's just who I was and what I had to deal with for the rest of my life. And I had no idea that, oh, hey, like through the power of neuroplasticity and epigenetics and all these different practices, I can not only rewire my brain, but change the way that I think and feel and behave and also change my physical health through all of that.

1:34:04So yeah, I would say that my law would be that people need to learn about how powerful their mind is. Is that what made you want to study neuroscience? No, I actually found neuroscience on accident. So I was, again, just kind of following the rules that everybody had set out for me. I was smart and good at science. And so I just was like, okay, I should become a doctor then. And my major was actually biology. I hated it. I did not like learning about the Krebs cycle or photosynthesis or any of it. And so I actually went up to one of my friends and I asked him, I said, I hate biology. What should I switch my major to?

1:34:34And he was like, you should switch it to neuroscience. I had never even heard of neuroscience at the time, but it sounded cool. And so I switched my major. First exam I ever took, I got a 100 and my professor reached out to me and he was like, congratulations, you could have done better. And I responded back to his email and I was like, this is so cool. I need to be in the research lab. So I started doing research in neuroscience immediately, very early on. And that's where I started to really fall in love with neuroscience and just learning about how cool the brain is because the brain is super cool, but also all the different things that we can do with it.

1:35:04And then I was taking a class in undergrad about the neurobiology of drug addiction and why current treatments don't work. And it was like, they don't work because we don't actually know the problem and we're just throwing band-aids on the symptoms. And that was something I really resonated with kind of growing up that happened to me a lot. And so I was like, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go and cure drug addiction. And so I actually ended up doing the exact research that I wanted to do. I was investigating new targets to treat relapse to drug addiction, like neuropharmacology and all that.

1:35:35And so that's what I went to do. And I like that you mentioned, you know, being open to other pathways and stuff because yeah, whenever I decided obviously not to be a scientist in the lab all the time anymore. I kind of didn't really know what was going to happen with that dream, but actually someone in Minecraft let me know that she's two months sober since joining. And for me, that made me, that was a full circle moment for me when I realized, oh, hey, like actually I still did the thing that I set out to do just in a different way than I thought I was going to be able to do it. So that's how I got into neuroscience.

1:36:07It wasn't on purpose. It was by accident. And what were some of the labels that you had when you were younger that you felt you wish you had this insight earlier on in life? What were those labels? Yeah, so growing up, I actually dealt with a lot of physical and mental health issues. When I was eight years old, I was hospitalized with E. coli. And then from then on, I really struggled with my health. I was in and out of doctor's offices all the time. I was there at one point in high school. I was going to like the emergency room. I remember having to leave a haircut halfway through because I had to go to the emergency room.

1:36:38So I had like PCOS, like hormonal imbalance, all the different kind of physical things. Then mentally, you know, like depression, ADHD, all the, I just, one doctor labeled me as bipolar, like a lot of different things. And knowing now what I know, like I was a teenage girl, like going through a lot of hormonal changes and not being supported. And so, you know, and of course, like I think especially with many other things and I think especially with the ADHD component, but also now like I was talking to my grandma on the phone recently and she had asked me like, oh, how's your health? And I honestly hadn't thought about it in a long time.

1:37:16And that's when I realized, whoa, like not only have I healed my mind, but I've really healed from the inside out. And I think for me, I thought that I was going to have to be on all these medications for the rest of my life. I thought I was going to just like, I really struggled with like, and I think something with ADHD that a lot of people don't talk about is it's not just an ability to focus and being distracted. It's like, okay, if you're bad at controlling your impulses, I personally also was bad at controlling my impulse of emotions. And so I was super emotional. There's just a whole bunch of things.

1:37:45And so I think for me, I wish that I, someone was like, Hey, you can actually start to train your brain to be better at focusing and being less impulsive. Like for me, meditation gave me superpowers. And I mean that in every aspect of it. Like also like, of course, with the brain and focusing and training my ability to focus and all of that, but also to be able to tap into my intuition and to be able to tap into every, all that is and all that and just get downloads and answers and all of that. So I think, yeah, I wish that when it comes to all like to answer your question of what labels, there are so many.

1:38:24And I just wish that somebody would have come and told me, hey, you can change. You do have the power to change because I thought I was stuck like that. And I thought that there was something wrong with me. Well, that's so powerful. I love hearing that because I think right now that's exactly what every young person's being told. And we hear those diagnosis and they're useful, but then we end up creating a story around them as well of what we can achieve, who we can be, how much we can focus, what's possible for us. And you're living proof that you can go on to not only heal from the inside out, but to actually go and have goals and targets and win and achieve and build a healthy life, which I think is so inspiring for so many to see.

1:39:06So that's awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah, of course. I love that. Well, everyone who's been listening and watching, make sure you go and tag me and Emily with all the incredible insights that she shared, any advice that stood out to you, anything you're going to try out, anything you're going to journal about, go and follow emonthebrain on Instagram if you don't already and across social media. And you can follow Minecraft as well, which is Emily's community platform. Check that out as well. Emily, anything else, anywhere else you'd like people to discover you, follow you, find you?

1:39:36Oh, no. Oh, those are the main accounts. So thank you for sharing that. Of course, of course. And I'm sure we get to welcome Emily back when her book's ready. She's already an author, but when she's a published author, we'll have her back on. That'd be awesome. But yeah, such a pleasure talking to you, Emily. I learned so much. And thank you for being such an incredible instrument and vessel for neuroscience and spirituality and mindset. It's incredible what you're doing. And I'm such a fan. So congratulations. Yeah, it's been great. Thank you for having me. This has been awesome. Thanks a lot.

1:40:06If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with Dr. Daniel Amen on how to change your life by changing your brain. If we want a healthy mind, it actually starts with a healthy brain. You know, I've had the blessing or the curse to scan over a thousand convicted felons and over a hundred murderers and their brains are very damaged. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season we're leveling up.

1:40:47Each episode will feature a special bestie and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curly. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just think the process and the journey is so delicious. that's where all the good stuff is you just can't live and die by the end result that's comedian Phoebe Robinson and yeah those are the kinds of gems you'll only hear on my podcast The Bright Side I'm your host Simone Boyce I'm talking to the brightest minds in entertainment, health, wellness and pop culture and every week we're going places in our communities our careers and ourselves so join me every Monday and let's find The Bright Side together listen to The Bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1:42:03or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast.