Tony Robbins: The Fastest Way Out of Feeling Stuck! Use THIS 6-Part Decision Making Framework to Take the First Step and Start 2026 With Clarity

22:08It's part of the journey. And solving them makes you bigger, more alive, more spiritually developed, more human, more caring. you know, pain and suffering. You don't have to suffer long, but we're all going to experience some of it, right? But decision-making is how we get out of it. Yeah. And you're so right, because one of the biggest challenges today is overthinking, right? We're exposed to more information or so we think. And I was reading a study that was saying we now consume 72 gigabytes of data per day. I don't know how much we have truly consumed. Absorb is a different one. Yeah, absorb, but it's like faced by it.

22:43And you think like, that's a lot. I remember when you were lucky enough to get one gigabyte on your iPhone. And now we're talking about 72 gigabytes coming at you. So decision-making is the kind of arrow that cuts through that. 100%. Because that's the only way to get out of overthinking. And so if someone's spiraling, if they actually listened to you and said, hey, if I just make one decision off of this, that will actually create a shift for them. I can tell you too, it's too long in a conversation like this to describe in detail, but I can give you how I make important decisions. Please. I have a six-step process.

23:15And if people want to jot it down, I call it O-O-C-E-M-R. Those are the trigger letters for what I do, O-O-C-E-M-R. And I developed this years ago because I only had one business. Now, I'm fortunate enough I have 114 companies. We do over$10 billion in business. I have no business background. All decision-making, learning skills, et cetera. But way back then when I had a small business, these decisions were just, it was tough. They were important decisions. They felt like they were life and death decisions for the business. And I knew that, Noah, how smart I am. you're better with a group of people around you.

23:44Cause even if you have more information, they have another perspective, you know? And so I was trying to find a decision-making model. And I thought, well, all decision-making is really value clarification. Like what's most important to you? Like what you decide with someone else's side may be different, but maybe right. Cause it's about what do you value most? Right? So I thought I should start with decision-making, not by all the emotion that I may have of either anxiety or fear or excitement or passion, either one can lead you astray. It's like, what do I want? What's the outcome? That's the first O.

24:14Outcome. So I get people, and by the way, I tell people, do not do this in your head. The reason people get overwhelmed is they ask multiple questions too fast to answer that. It's like, what am I going to do? I don't know what to do. What if she says this? What if he did that? But what if it doesn't do that? And you're asking 20 questions and you don't have the processing power to answer them. So you're just going to overwhelm. Slow it down. One thing at a time, right? But start not with what you're afraid of. Start with what you want, because that's how the human nervous system is designed. It's designed to make things happen, to create.

24:40So if you become a creator, you start with the one-on-one. So what are your outcomes? And this is the reason it's hard to make decisions for most people is they have multiple outcomes they're trying to get from the same decision, right? They want to make everybody happy and they want to make a million dollars and they want to have more free time, you know, all simultaneously. So you have to say, which of those things is most important to you? Is it the free time? Is it the family time? Is it to make more money? Is it, what's most important for you, right? So I have people write down their outcomes and they're usually, if they're having a hard time, that's because there's multiple outcomes.

25:10And I also say, don't ever do this in your head because you can't manage it all in your head. Picture's worth a thousand words. So you write down the outcomes and then you put them in order. And then you put the why, because the why is what matters. Like, what is the reason? What's the emotion behind this? What is it I'm, even though I say this is what I want, what do I want out of this? What's it gonna give me? It's gonna give me joy. It's gonna be happiness, fulfillment, spiritual development. What is it, right? So now when you're crystal clear what you want and the order you want it in, And that's critical.

25:37What's number one? You got to be rigorous. Now you can make decisions by going into second O, what are your options? And I always tell people one option is no option. Two options is dilemma. You need at least three choices to be a choice, right? And so, and when you get to three, usually find there's four or five. Now you may not like them all, but you shouldn't lie to yourself and say, this is the only option that'll stress you out. Or these two in the option, you'll get stuck in a dilemma. So I write out all the options. Then I go to OOC is consequences, which is what you're doing the decisions for.

26:07what's the upside and the downside of each of these decisions, to the best of my knowledge? The upside could be this and this, the downside could be that and that. I've considered the first half, okay? Now you know what exactly you want, you know what your options are, and you know upsides and downsides of each. So now we're going to go into the last three stages. I'm going to evaluate, mitigate, and resolve. E, evaluate. Now I'm going to evaluate, what's the probability of those consequences? Because you might have something that's like, oh my God, if this happens, It's the worst thing on earth, but the probability is next to zero and you're all stressed out.

26:38Unless you evaluate probability, you're wasting your time. You might have some go, oh my God, if this works out, it's going to be the greatest thing in the history of the world. But the likelihood of happening is zero, right? You can't let those extremes get you. So you start to see by evaluating what's there. And then the last two steps are fast. It's mitigation. Mitigation means, okay, I've seen what I want. I know my options. I know the upside down. I know what's probable. Now, can I take something from this option and mix it with this one? Is there a way to mitigate the downsides? And almost always there are.

27:09And at this stage, your brain gets really creative because it's not in fear or uncertainty or anxiety because you're not in your head. It's right in front of you. And the last part is resolve. And I gave you a million stories. It was too late to do. But I can just tell you, I've made personally$400 million from one decision I made from this personally. I'm trying to give you an economic piece. what the spiritual emotional value has been on things is priceless um and i i can honestly tell you by using this system i'm writing this book right now called the power of decision because i want people to have that skill and i show them everybody bezos decision making skills i teach people everybody's format but this is my format for doing it and i found it to be incredibly valuable especially when you add commit resolve you know to it not just decide to the process so i hope that's helpful for people that's a great system that's that's the best way I've ever heard it explained.

27:56I really appreciate that model because I think too much of what decisions making is based on today is if you really want something and you go after it and you organize and you have a plan, you'll get there. And it's like, well, wait a minute, you didn't evaluate the probability. You didn't look at it from a systematic point of view. Or the other side of it is like, all right, you made a decision, you get some good insight, get some good advice, get some good mentorship, you pivot, you pivot. But the point is you can save yourself so much time. You got it. By doing what you just shared. Huge amounts of time.

28:24Huge amounts of time, money and energy.

28:34This week on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler, Nicholas Sparks is here. I would imagine that you've gotten a lot of feedback about setting a standard of love and romance that a lot of men probably can't measure up to. I have heard such stories at my book signings, right? Where's my Noah or where's my John from Dear John? And at the same time, in the course of my career, I've had seven marriage proposals in lines to sign my book, you know, up to the table, the doodle dropped to his knees. And I feel so bad for him. I'm like, dude, you're, you're in a Walmart in Birmingham, Alabama, you know, but it's happened.

29:13And, you know, you get a lot more of those kinds of stories than And people coming up and saying, I've ruined, I've ruined men for the rest, which I'm glad. I would feel bad if that was more common, actually. No, that's what you come to Dear Chelsea for. Yeah. To get upbraided. Listen to Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

29:47Lotus, a mentor, a friend, a wife, a mother, an author, attorney, advocate, television producer, and now she adds podcast host to the list herself. Friends, Michelle Obama is here. Sophia, I'm beyond thrilled to be able to sit down and chat with you. We talk about it all. Life, love, motherhood, martinis. Vodka martini, dry, straight up olives. Ooh, olives. Very cold. My girl. Barely any vermouth. What's next? What she's watching on TV. I am a White Lotus-er. I am a Real Housewives person. I love the dating shows. And tennis. I just find that to be a bit meditative. You do not want to miss this.

30:32Listen to Work in Progress on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Salam gente, it's Anna Ortiz. And I'm Marcin Delicato. You might know us as Hilda. And Justin. From Ugly Betty. We played mother and son on the show, but in real life, we're best friends. And I'm all grown up now. Welcome to our new podcast, Viva Betty! Yay! Woohoo! Can you believe it has been almost 20 years? I, no, I don't. That's not even possible. Well, you're the only one that looks that much different. I look exactly the same. We're re-watching the series from start to finish and getting into all the fashions, the drama, and the behind-the-scenes moments that you've never heard before.

31:13You're going to hear from guests like America Ferreira, Vanessa Williams, Michael Urie, Becky Newton, Tony Plana, and so many more. Icons, each and every one. All of a sudden, like, someone, like, comes running up to me and it's Selma Hayek. And she's like, you are my ugly Betty. And I was like, what is she even talking about? Listen to Viva Betty as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

31:53I was going to ask you, Tony, you have such a systematic brain. Like when I've learned from you, listened to you, everything is so process-oriented, which I love. But at the same time, you have this deep faith, this deep spirituality, and you brought it out there. You said, I made$400 million, and at the same time, the emotional and spiritual benefits are off the charts. Talk to me genuinely, because I think today we all hear about, oh, you can manifest this, and you can get that and this. I feel like you have a really pragmatic and process-driven approach to both. How does faith, how does energy, how does spirituality correlate with a very systematic process-driven approach?

32:31That's a great question. No one's really asked me that question. That's nice. It's a reflection of your qualities as well, which I think you look at both sides as well as I do. I think there's nothing more important than spirit, soul. There's nothing more important than your spiritual development. Anything else is a joke. And yet, maybe the best way to describe it is think about it as East and West, right? We both have experiences of both. I go to India at least once a year on average, and I've been going since I was in my 20s, because I was fascinated by the cultural differences. And as a gross generalization, the East is more about internal development.

33:06If you go to a place like Varanasi, which is one of the oldest cities on the planet, you know, 3 ,800 years old, they have fires that have been burning for 38 straight years nonstop. And for people who don't know it, in that culture, you know, everyone has different perceptions of God or belief of what God is. But in that particular culture, it doesn't matter what kind of Hindu you are, if there's some believe you should give up all your clothing, everything but your clothes. Some people believe it's studying the Vedas. Some people believe it's through yoga. Different ways to get to God. A million different ways.

33:34And there's more than 300 million different gods, your own personal God in that culture, right? Very different. But they have a belief there that if you die in Varanasi, it's the only thing you have unified, then you don't come back because the belief is reincarnation. So they want to not come back, which would be Nirvana. right? And they burn these fires. And when someone dies, they try to get to Varanasi no matter what they do, because they believe if they die there, they won't come back. And the city is filled. You've been there, haven't you? Yes. Yeah. Filled with people that are dying and joyous.

34:05Like I remember we went to Mother Teresa's facility and there was a woman there that was, you know, tiny little lady and she was like in her nineties and I was talking with her, you know, broken English with her and she was mad as hell. She was dying and she was mad. They scooped her off the streets and they're helping her. She came here to die because this was her, I mean, really pissed off, right? And then most Americans have said, you know, they burn the bodies. I watched them burn the bodies. I'm on this boat and I'll never forget the first time I did this. And I watched this little boy who's flipping this, looked like stick or twig and it was his grandfather's leg.

34:37No one is crying. No one is sad. They believe that the body is the t-shirt. You burn it and it goes away. So the spiritual side of life is all that is seen there, but yet people live in squalor. You come to America and people get stressed about they didn't get the special burger sauce on their burger, right? And you see people that live with tremendous economic opportunity who spoil it and don't take advantage of it. And people have tremendous economic opportunity when they're not fulfilled in their relationships. They're not, who's to say they're not spiritually developed, but looks on the outside by the way they treat people.

35:10They're not spiritually developed. And so I don't believe you have to pick one or the other. I believe that they go together. I've always believed when I originally was learning, you know, constantly listening to albums, that's how old I am, and cassette tapes and reel-to-reels, that's how old I am, eight tracks of various professors, speakers, I was just immersing myself in things. I noticed almost everybody specialized in either how I can look at it as philosophy or strategy, right? Philosophy is critical. It determines the quality of your life. in terms of whether you're happy or not happy, fulfilled or not fulfilled.

35:45Strategy is how, how do you get it done? And strategy is critical because you could save a decade with the right strategy in business, in your personal life, with your body, the wrong strategy, and you're going to be ill. Right. And so early on I decided you need both. So I teach both and I don't think that's anything but intelligence to do both. So that's how I look at it. But if you think like What creates, you know, when you look, I try to look at what does everybody want? And we're all different. And I think the best example I can give is that people want an extraordinary quality of life. But that definition is different for everybody.

36:20Like some people's idea of an extraordinary life is, you know, three beautiful children and a husband or wife that they adore. Some people's is to write poetry or write music or to build a farm or garden. Some people's is to grow a business. Everyone has completely different eyes of what that is. I don't pretend that my life should be your life. I'm the example for you. But I'm an example of how you can take what you believe you want to create and make it real by a combination and enjoy it. Because how many of you know have achieved everything you want and then said, is this all there is? Because they didn't have the right philosophy.

36:52Or they were trying to achieve something they thought would meet a need for significance and they missed love. You know, the more important pieces of life. So I believe that there's two primary skills to have an extraordinary quality of life, which I would define as life on your terms. So the first one is the science of achievement. That's a skill. So when I wrote my financial books, I ended up writing three of them. I never intended that. But after 2008, I was so angry because I worked with Paul Tudor Jones, one of the top 10 traders in the history of the world. And I knew this was coming. I tried to warn people.

37:23And a few number of people almost destroyed the world economy, right? And then we punish them by giving them more of our money. It's just the most crazy thing. So I don't have a lot of power, but I have the power to convene. And so I brought together 50 of the best financial people in the world and kind of dug into their brains and figured out what's the common pattern. They're all different. That have made them go from nothing financially to financially free. And I want to show people that's still doable because I think most, especially young people, they don't think that's possible. And they're wrong.

37:52The system's rigged is what everybody says. It is rigged to some extent, but it's still totally winnable. Life isn't always fair, but it's still magnificent, right? You can still make it magnificent. So the skill sets, it's like, it's a science. If you do certain things, you're going to have too much month at the end of the money. You're going to have stress. If you do certain other things financially, you're going to be free. That's a science. Your body is a science. Every one of us is slightly different, but there's certain patterns that if you violate them, you're going to have illness. You're going to have disease, right?

38:22That's what it is. If you surround yourself or apply them, you're going to have a high level of energy, a high level of health. That skill is the one that most human beings in the Western world are pursuing. They want to achieve more, and the whole focus is let's get more. And we're a consumer culture, and so as a result, a lot of people do that, and they're still unhappy, right? That's because the second skill is more important and is not promoted in Western culture very much, and that is the art of fulfillment. And notice I said art, not science. Because what fulfills you, and I consider you a dear friend, and what fulfills your best friend, and what fulfills your kids, may be really different, even though you love each other and you're all part of the same family, so to speak.

39:01We're all unique in that way. It's like, what does God love? Go to a forest and take a look around. Everything's different. It's ultimate levels of variety of shapes and directions. It's not supposed to be one thing. I think that's the biggest challenge in our culture. We've experienced all this pain and these shootings and so forth about people who want to shoot other people because they believe something different than them. Man, we've really lost it when we can't have a conversation anymore or we can't learn to agree to disagree. You can love somebody and still disagree with them. I know in Congress I have friends who worked at the vice president level and worked at the presidential level and worked in Congress and Senate.

39:40And they would fight like hell three or four decades ago and they'd go have a beer together. Now they don't even talk to each other. It's a crazy thing. But my point is, fulfillment is an art, and fulfillment is as different as you and I are. There are no laws to fulfillment, but there are some principles. And one is growth. If you're going to be fulfilled, you've got to grow. In fact, the whole self-care mentality we have, which I think was important, it was like the antidote to the, what they used to call it, the hustle culture. Hustle burnout culture. And people are always stressed. You know what they're stressed?

40:11They're hustling just to make money. There's no meaning. When there's no mean, you can work your ass off and be so fulfilled if it's meaningful to you, if you're doing it for a higher purpose than just money. I'm not saying you shouldn't have money. You should. It's part of a master skill of being alive and take care of your family. But if that's the only thing you're doing it for, you're going to stress out and burn out. I mean, stress comes to making things more important than it really is. Failure comes to making things less important than they really are. It's an art, right? But the fulfillment side is finding what it is that allows you to grow because when you grow, you feel alive.

40:44I always tell people, people ask me all the time, they say, what is it that makes people happy? You travel the world, you make millions of people. What's the common key to happiness? And I say progress. Progress equals happiness. When you're making progress, you're happy. Even when you achieve it. Can you think of a goal you've achieved that you're really proud of and then afterwards thought, is this all there is? No. Oh, good. I'm so glad you're more purposeful. Of course, the Purpose Podcast. No, and you do. But I think that's because you know it's about progress. Yes, yes. No, no, no. I'm agreeing with you.

41:17Yeah. Have you ever had a goal where you achieved it and you're out of your mind? Like out of your mind and good, like you're celebratory? Probably not either. Oh, interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, most people have had some celebration. Yes, yes, I've both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when they celebrate that, what I always ask people is, you're really celebratory. It was great you achieved it. You're proud of yourself. Great. I say, how long did that feeling last? Not long. And I say, did it last six years? No, six months, six weeks, six days, six hours. Most people, somewhere between six days, six hours, and six weeks max.

41:48Because, you know, why does it go away? Because we're not made just to achieve goals. We're made to grow. We're made to become more. Because when we grow, when we make progress, we have something to give. We have more to give. So it's like everything in the world either grows or it dies. If your relationship's not growing, don't BS yourself. It's dying. If your business is not growing, it's dying. If you're not growing, some part of you is dying inside. But I found that when people really grow, they're happy, and then they want to share. And they have something worth sharing, right? So if you look at somebody like Robin Williams, I mean, Robin Williams, I think, was one of the gifts of our country to the world.

42:23He made people laugh all over the earth. He came here to Hollywood, where we are right now, and he had almost no resources except creativity. And he said, I'm going to star on my own TV show. Everybody says that. Nobody does it. He did it. Then he said, okay, I want to not only star my own TV show, I want to make it the number one show in at least five countries. He did it in nine, right? Then he said, I don't want to do TV anymore. I want to make movies. That's more dramatic. And he did. Then he said, I want to win an Academy Award for not being funny. A dramatic Academy Award. And he won. He said, I want a family that totally loves me and I love him.

43:00He did it. He said, I want to have more money than I could ever spend. And he did it. and he hung himself in his own home. How do you explain that? I know people say he had Lewy bodies in his brain, but he abused alcohol and cocaine and drugs his entire life, staying hyped up. He worked to make everybody as happy except himself. So I really believe that success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And you do not have to separate them because if what you're doing is designed to try and serve something more than yourself, you're not going to be stressed. I mean, when you're trying to serve your kids or you're trying to serve your community or your country, when there's something you care about more than yourself, there's an energy that you have.

43:42All suffering comes focused on the self. And ironically, again, I started to mention self-care. I'm not being derogatory towards self-care because I think it's important to take care of yourself so you can take care of others and take care of yourself. But it's become the new hustle culture. Self-care means you're doing something, directing your mind, soul, and spirit to become more, not just checking out, right? Yeah. And so many people are doing it now, and I think that's a huge reason why. I don't know if you saw, I looked it up the other day. I actually brought it up to make sure I had the right numbers.

44:10It blew my mind. Yeah, 61 % of Gen Z has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder. 61 % of a generation. 54 % of Gen Z women report diagnosed mental health conditions by American Psychological Association. 34 % of Gen Z are currently taking prescription medication, and there's been a 129 % increase in the trajectory use of antidepressants among teenage girls since the pandemic. I mean, it's like, there's something wrong here. This mental health crisis is because we think we should do less and we're going to be happier. There was a study done right in the middle of COVID by a woman who wrote an article in the New York Times.

44:48And she took people who were miserable and angry and sad and said, we're going to do a time management course for you for nine weeks. And I'm going to ask that you do more during these nine weeks. And at the end of nine weeks, just by feeling control of their lives, right, 20 % increase in life satisfaction, 18 % increase in productivity by doing five times more than what they were doing when they kept. Because the problem with pulling back and taking care of yourself when it's the extreme side, not what you or I would do. I know you have the meds thing you talk about, right? In terms of meditating and eating well and diet and sleep, right?

45:24Couldn't agree more with you on that. But when people make it like just letting go and doing nothing, I mean, I don't find the value of that. But the weaker we get, the harder it gets. It doesn't like, you don't hit a bottom and now you're okay. You just get weaker and weaker and now little things are stressful. It's just like the decision making. The more you don't make decisions, the more anxiety you have. The more you start making decisions, the stronger you feel. You feel like you're in control of your life. And all it takes is a few good ones for you to start getting momentum. So I think those two skills are the key to a great life.

45:54Master the science of achievements. You can study how people did it. Get the same thing with your body or your emotions or your relationships or your finances. But then when it comes to fulfillment, you have to discover what will help you to grow and what will help you to give more and what taps you. I'll give one final example because it's humorous to me. Steve Wynn is a good friend of mine who built most of Las Vegas, about half of Las Vegas. Beautiful. My favorite hotels. Yes. Beautiful, beautiful old man. And Steve is quite a philanthropist, great human being. I had a good friend of mine. So we both have vacation homes in Sun Valley, Idaho, for the snow.

46:28And I arrived one morning, or one night, the night before, and I got there like 2 or 3 in the morning. And the phone rings at 8 a.m. I'm in a 4 or 5 hour sleep. Who could possibly be calling me in this home, right? It's Steve. Tony, it's my birthday. I want you to come over today. I said, Steve, I know. But it's, what, 8.15, 8.30 in the morning. I just got here. He goes, listen, I got this new piece of art. He said, it's unbelievable. I've coveted this piece of art for the last 13 years. He said, I outbid everybody at Sotheby's and literally they delivered it late last night for my birthday. You must come and see this painting.

47:06I said, all right, Steve, I have one question. How much did it set you back? 86.9 million dollars, 87 million dollars. So I said, Steve, screw lunch. I'm coming for breakfast. I got to see what an$87 million painting looks like. And I'm picturing God crashing through the clouds, some Renaissance image and everything else. I get there and he takes me there and he goes, see? And I look at it and I understand what it is. It's a Rothko, but it's an orange square. If you've ever seen a Rothko, it's literally an orange square, orange and red square. And I said, Steve, they missed a few spots because it isn't filled in right.

47:39He got a little, and I said, this is a Rothko. I said, I know what it is. He goes, yeah, but I said, Steve, I said, give me$100 worth of red paint. Give me a piece of paper. Give me 20 minutes. I think I can do this again. And it stirred him up a little bit. You know, he knows I was teasing him. He goes, Tony, you understand. He committed suicide. Start telling me the whole story of the guy. I said, well, for suicide, it should be his blood for$87 million. I mean, come on, right? But the reason I tell this story is he can barely see, but he got almost an orgasm looking at that. Because he finds meaning in everything.

48:11Like he knows what every stroke means. I'm looking at, I see an orange square. I'm unsophisticated. So what makes you feel fulfilled depends on what you focus on. And, you know, people say, why did he do that? He should have given that money away. He's given millions and millions and millions of hundreds of millions of dollars away. That's just everybody's judgment. I think you should figure out what it is that fulfills you, because if you don't find fulfillment, you're going to be miserable. More stress comes because you're not fulfilled. It's not because you're not achieving. It's because you're not making progress on what matters to you.

48:38It's because you feel at the effective events versus you're affecting events. So many breakthroughs there that I just want to flag for people that I think are huge. The first point being this breakdown of the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. It's so important because I think today what people are getting confused is that they think if they're more fulfilled, they'll be better at the science. And that doesn't work that way. And you won't stay fulfilled either because their idea of fulfillment is what feels good in the moment. But what feels good in the moment is what feels good long-term.

49:06What feels good long-term is when you grow. Yes. And when you give, the two things that make us feel alive is growing and giving. Yes. And you grow so you have something to give. Yes. And then saying back the other way, the science of achievement won't make you more fulfilled, which you made. One big breakthrough. Second one is what you just said. Now, this idea that self-care is promoting this idea that we all want more comfort. Yes. That we should all have more comfort in life. And if we have more comfort in life, then we'll be happier. And you're completely kind of uprooting that and going, well, actually, the discomfort makes you experience progress, which equals happiness.

49:41That's correct. Because that's the algorithm that we want to be a part of. And that's the hard choice, because that hard choice is choosing the discomfort, choosing the discipline, choosing the decision that may feel hard, but is right. But the one that's the hardest one is regret. Not making the decision almost always leads to regret. If you make a decision that's wrong, you can change it, make another one. Even those type one decisions, you know, that Jeff Bezos talks about, most of them are still possible to change. This just takes a lot. So it's always possible to shift. What will screw your life up is not deciding, is living on the fence because the brain does not do well with uncertainty, right?

50:18Well, that's one of the human needs is the need for certainty. And the fastest way to certainty is just make some decisions and act on them and discover what's real. So I appreciate your meta comments about that because I think it's really important to master both skills. I know so many people that achieve so much and they're so unfulfilled. And there are so many people that are trying for fulfillment and they, you know, never last. Um, it's cause like, you gotta think about it. Everything in life is calling us to grow. And if you want to know what doesn't work, the pop psychology of self-care is not working any more than the hustle culture did.

50:48They're both extremes, right? Life's a balance, right? And if you want to see what the results are, look at the medication and, you know, and millennials are known as the RX, not the X generation, the RX generation, right? So it's like, that is not solving it to feel good. Not feeling good is part of what gives you drive. It either destroys you or drives you. You have to make those choices. And most of us will not let it destroy us if we don't medicate ourselves, if we don't, we find a way to push through. But if you don't have to, people go for comfort. And comfort will never make you proud. Comfort will make you strong.

51:20Comfort will not allow you to inspire your kids or your community or your friends. But there's a greater thing than comfort that comes from fulfillment by pushing through what, and here's the other part. It's like, I hear the word, the other pop culture element drives me crazy is self-esteem. Oh, I don't have any self-esteem because when I was a child, people said these horrible things to me. And how convenient you only remember the horrible things they said to you, right? They said lots of things. But the truth of the matter is what people said to you makes no means whatsoever as to whether you feel like you have high self-esteem or not.

51:52Self-esteem is earned by yourself, with yourself. Someone can tell you your whole life, you're beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're so smart, and you can fear you're not, right? I mean, people like that all the time, right? And they have all this anxiety because they thought they were the best in the world and they find out they're not. The parents overblew who they were at that stage. They didn't teach them to develop it or to push through or develop the muscle that would make them the best in the world of what they do. On the other hand, you can be told by people, you're a piece of worthless, piece of junk, you'll never be this, you're a piece of that, and that person can say, screw you, I'll show you who I am.

52:24So what people have said has zero impact on your self-esteem. And telling people they're great or not great does not change it. Teaching them to have grit, teaching them to push through. The way you develop esteem for yourself is by doing difficult things that you know are right. When you do something that you know is right, even though it's difficult, your esteem for yourself grows. And no one can take that. Well, you can take away money or material things. No one can take away who I've become as a man and my path or you as a man or anyone else as a woman. And I think it's really important to know that if you want to feel good about yourself, it's not by relaxing.

52:58Don't get me wrong. I know how to relax. I know how to take time. I have a beautiful family. I have five kids and five grandkids. So I certainly have to be able to do that. And one of my kids is, thanks to COVID, I have a 51-year-old daughter and I have a four-year-old daughter. So I have quite a spread at 60, when I'm going to be 66 pretty soon. So to give you a sense. So my life is full, but it still has to have growth in it. It still has to have progress. And that's what makes it fulfilling. Yeah. What's the difference between growth and hustle? Meaning? Well, yes, exactly. Hustle, I'm just doing it to try to make money.

53:30If I'm busting my tail, but man, I know what I'm doing. You know what it is? I always people, I measure people's lives. I have to give a zero to 10 score on their body, not compared to someone else. Like your idea of a 10. When I was 20, I thought washboard abs was a 10 and they had them and my back hurt. You know what I mean? I was out of balance, right? Everything else was screwed up. Big biceps and weak in other areas. then so i ask people where are you zero to ten in your life today based on what you want for your life is it energy what is it where are you zero to ten in the level of meaning and emotion because if you don't measure something you can't manage it i'm giving zero to ten a little description give me zero to ten where you are in your relationships and um and the most important one your intimate relationships because friendships are easy right and where's that and if you don't have one that's zero and you want to see that so it pushes you right uh where are you in you know your, and this is the one that led me to it, is your work or is it for you a career or is it, you know, a calling or a mission?

54:30And I already know who people are based on which word they pick. If it's work, it's work. If it's a career, they work at it and they're pretty fulfilled that. But if it's mission, like I know you and I are both called. I don't have to do this in the day of my life. I do it because it's my mission. It's my purpose. I believe it's what I'm made for. There is no amount of work that can wear you down when it's mission. Zero. And if you haven't found that, I'm cautioning against one other thing, if I may. You've stirred me up with some different questions. Yeah. It's good. I think it's important to understand a lot of people are trying to find their purpose.

55:04What's my purpose? What's this big purpose? Who said you had one? Who said you had one for a lifetime? If you write down a purpose statement, it's a long mission statement, it sounds real good, and you read it, It's never going to cover all of who you are waiting for. You know, I have a different purpose when I'm sitting down with my daughter, my youngest daughter, than I am with my oldest. I have a different sense of purpose in what I'm doing in this business as for that. I have a different purpose in our conversation today. Purpose is what gives life meaning. But you don't have to have one giant purpose that you're struggling to find.

55:34Life will evolve. And if you just keep moving forward in a purposeful manner, like whatever you do, there's some meaning to it. Then I think you're going to find you're much more fulfilled. And those measurements, by the way, I would do them on your finances, and I'd do them on the spiritual side of life. Not religious, but like, religio means celebration. Most people in religion don't have a lot of celebration anymore, right? Just a bunch of rules. So it's like, okay, I divide it as between how much are you celebrating your life? Because isn't this an unbelievable gift that we're sitting here breathing, this heart's beating, we don't have to work at it?

56:06That the skin's working, that we can have a conversation, that we can feel, that we can live, that we can have our children. That's a miracle. We forget what a miracle does just to be alive, right? So are you celebrating? And then are you contributing? Because celebration without contribution doesn't last, you know? And so I say measure those things. But to answer your question specifically, I think it's critical that you understand stress comes from having activity without purpose is the drain on your emotional well-being. Yeah, and that's what we're struggling with. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah.

56:44I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of Heavyweight, I help a centenarian mend a broken heart. How can a 101-year-old woman fall in love again? And I help a man atone for an armed robbery he committed at 14 years old. And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a joke. And he got down, and I remember feeling kind of a surge of like, Okay, this is power. Plus, my old friend Gregor and his brother try to solve my problems through hypnotism. We could give you a whole brand new thing where you're like super charming all the time. Being more able to look people in the eye. Not always hide behind a microphone.

57:27Listen to Heavyweight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

57:41Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little bit different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.

58:04over the past two seasons i've had special guests like dave grohl levy rufus wainwright remy wolf mark rebbeer mavis staples really too many to name and there's still so much more to come in this new season including the powerful psychedelic duo black pumas my old pal and longtime songwriting friend jesse harris and the legendary lucinda williams listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts

58:39a combat surgeon with secrets a world built on power and privilege and the most unexpected creative duo of the year as an actor for so many years I would always walk into other people's stories and I thought well why don't I give it a shot you know and try to write up my thought This week, Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club goes live from Apple Soho in New York City with Reese Witherspoon and Harlan Coben, the powerhouse team behind Gone Before Goodbye, now a New York Times bestseller. I think we both knew right away that this was going to happen. It's a conversation about fear, ambition, and what happens when two master storytellers collide.

59:19I've never seen a woman in kind of a James Bond world. Come for the chills and stay for the surprises. And find out why readers can't put it down. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

59:46You just mentioned that you have a child who's 51 years old and one that's four and a half. I wouldn't call her a child now. She wouldn't appreciate that. I have a daughter who's 51. Yeah, you have a daughter. You have a daughter. Sorry, yeah. You said you have a daughter who's 51 years old. And you probably still see her as a child in some ways, I assume. I don't know. My mom can't stop seeing me as a child. But yes, you have a daughter who's 51 years old. You have a daughter who's four and a half years old. Talk to me about what being a dad at that age was like in your 20s to what being a dad in your 60s looks like.

1:00:20Like what is, what's different? What are the different challenges? What are the different lessons? It's my favorite stage of life is the stage of life. I would say that first for everyone listening. You know, I look at life in seasons. You know, it's like, I'm a big believer that the three skills we need to teach our kids or ourselves, especially in a world that in the next five to 10 years will have more change than any time in human history between nanotechnology and AI and, you know, robotics and everything else, the world is going to change like never before. So how do you have an advantage there?

1:00:52You have to master three skills. You have to pattern recognition so that you're not fearful. A lot of fear is because you think this is the only time this happened. Politically, we've never been this way. It's bullshit. I can show you stuff that makes Republicans and Democrats look nice to each other from the past. You know, when you recognize a pattern, you go, okay, this has happened before. And seasons are one of those patterns, right? And then you're not fearful. And then the second part, it's not random. The second skill is mastering really pattern utilization. That's what gives you power in your life.

1:01:23Because now a baby can't get out of this room until they recognize almost all rooms have an exit. And I look around there, it's shaped a certain way. And there's a handle that if I push, pull, I can get out of here. If you don't, you're trapped. So pattern recognition is power. At a little level, get out of the room. At a big level, if you look at somebody that's great in business, like how do I have all these companies? I couldn't even run one company with five employees. I was trying to do a million dollars in business. I wasn't hitting it. And I was stressed out of my mind to now have 114 companies doing 10 billion.

1:01:54The difference is pattern recognition. It's like understanding and then learning how to use those patterns in those situations. So if you're good in business, there's certain patterns. If you're good at investing, there's certain patterns. If you've got good mental health, there's certain patterns. You know, if you're physically well, there's certain patterns. If you know somebody who's a good dancer, they recognize how to use patterns to produce a specific result. Spielberg has made movies for 40 years. He knows if I move in slowly like this, he knows if I go fast, what will happen? If I pull back, if I bring the music up here.

1:02:22So anyone you know that you probably respect and like does just recognize patterns. They got great at using them. But the third level for me is pattern, you know, a creation. Where you really, it's like if you played music, you did it usually by playing someone else's music. Big Tovenbuck, whoever you did, you learned someone else's patterns. And you did that long enough, you could use it. And then one day, you start to come through. You started to become a creator, right? We stand on the shoulders of the people before us. And so those three skills are how you can compete or do well. And I want that for my 51-year-old, and I want my four-year-old.

1:02:57Having said that, you don't recognize as many patterns when you're 25, to answer your question, right? And I'm proud of the father I was. I mean, I got married in my first marriage to a woman that was 12 years my senior, and she'd been married twice before me. She had kids from both husbands, and she moved in with me, and she was so unhappy, and I was like, bring them here. And I adopted all those kids. So if you can imagine, I was 24, just turning 25 years old. I had a 17-year-old son, an 11-year-old daughter, a 5-year-old, and then shortly after, a blood child of my own coming on board. And so I was out to change the world.

1:03:32I had to learn how to manage my life and who I was. And these kids, I fell totally in love with them and the joy of my life today. And that marriage lasted 14 years. And when I grew up, I really, I was there for the kids, honestly, more than anything else. We weren't the right match for each other. We're still good friends. And I married my wife now. I've been together 25 years, the greatest gift of my life. But my wife didn't think we could have kids. The doctor told her point blank we couldn't. So we ended up doing it with a surrogate and it was COVID. And I'm normally going on the road 225 days in a year, 200 days in a year with COVID.

1:04:04They shut down every arena in the world. I mean, from doing 15 ,000 people to them saying I could put a hundred people in the arena. So we pivoted and I started doing digital seminars. We did the biggest ones in the world, 1.3 million people for three days, you know, and really made it an experience that was amazing. So there was time. So we got our daughter, but the answer to your question specifically, I think in my twenties and thirties, um, I was still trying to figure out completely who I was. And all I knew is I want these kids to be loved. I want them to know that they're not here to demand from life.

1:04:35Life is expecting something from you. And that if you're here to be a contributor, you'll always be happy. And I really accomplished that. I'm proud of all my kids. They're all contributors. They all contribute time, energy, money, resources to help people who are not as well off as they are. They're all great parents. And they're all just good people. But with my daughter today, it's, you know, I had her at 61. so certainly not what I planned for. It brought more joy to me than anything else because you know so much more. You have so much more wisdom to share. You have more time to just experience things versus when you're running, trying to make it all happen.

1:05:11And I think someone like yourself at 38, and we talked off the air here that at some point you'll probably have children. I think in that 38, 39, 40, you have more wisdom because you're still, you know who you are now to a great extent. You'll continue to evolve. Yeah, I'll continue. Especially you, right? I'm continuing to evolve, right? But I think there's just more to give at that stage. But I also would tell anybody that I wouldn't, if someone would have told me, if you think of zero to 21 as being a pattern of seasons, like when I say pattern recognition, the pattern that has changed humanity the most, the first recognized pattern that we changed and started to use was seasons.

1:05:46Until then, we were hunter-gatherers and starving to death unless we could find the right food. Total stress. Way more stress than we have today. But then what happened? We realized, wow, there are these seasons. And if I plant in the spring, I protect it during the summer. I get to reap in the fall, have enough for winter. I can do the whole thing again. Well, if you do the right thing at the wrong time, you get nothing. It doesn't matter how hard you work. So I'm a big believer in looking at what season you are in your life, what season you are in history, right? What season I'm in with my family.

1:06:18And so I think a 021 is springtime. Everything grows in springtime. It's easy to grow in springtime. Now, if you start a business in springtime, you think you're a genius. You're not a genius. You're just in the right season, right? But then summer comes and things are tested. And God or the universe, whatever you want to call it, has made it so we have an easy time and then we have a tough time to test this, to make us grow. An easy time of rewards and a tough time. So summer, think of it as like 22 to 42, roughly. Zero to 21, you're taken care of. I had a childhood that was a little tough, but I was 13 or 14.

1:06:50I had to work to support the family. But I still, I didn't have to make all the money for the food. Someone else is housing me. Someone else is taking care of me. At that stage of life, you're taking in information. 22 to 42, now you go test it, right? Now you go say, well, I was taught all this stuff, but what do I believe, you know? And in the early stages of that season, you think you're invincible. You think you're going to be a multibillionaire, president of the United States, and have 100 relationships simultaneously, and everyone will be happy, right? and by the time you're 32 or three or something like that you start going i'm not a billionaire i'm not the president of the united states and i can't even one person happy in the relationship what the hell is going on here and that's usually when people start to look out for people like you and i who are looking for some wisdom about how to live life in a way that's happy and fulfilling and growing and expanding because they know they're not invincible that stage if you're listening if you're in that 22 to 42 it is the most painful stage across all studies most unhappy stage.

1:07:45If you're happy right now, that is awesome. And anyone can be, but most aren't fully happy at that stage. It's the most trying stage. It's the testing time. And if you didn't grow during spring and take care of yourself summer, then you won't reap in the fall. You're going to weep. But if you grew in both those stages, now you go to the third stage. That's, you know, basically 43 to 63. And both these numbers are round, right? Some people are early, some people are late. But in that stage of life, you've accumulated enough skill and knowledge. If you've grown, you know the people, I'm sure you're already experiencing it now.

1:08:14Like I was in Greece and I got stuck. I'm fortunate enough to have a private plane and I'm supposed to fly to Germany and I want to drop my family in Italy so I can have a good time. And they, you know, we had two weeks in advance. They told us what the times would be. And then they changed the times and said, I couldn't get out until after my seminar started with 13 ,000 people in 54 countries. Right. And I'm like, and they were immovable. And so like, okay, my only option is find some other way to get to Athens and fly somewhere else. And it's like, no, you know, at this stage of my life, there aren't very many people on the planet.

1:08:45Who do I know that knows, you know, the prime minister of Greece? So I asked you at GBD, Tony Robbins, who does he knows? It gave me a list. It's like Mark Benioff of Salesforce, my dearest friends and human reporters. Peter Diamandis, one of my partners in business. He's, you know, he's from Greece and he knows and went through the whole list. There was like nine of them. So I called three of them and, you know, the poor prime minister got about nine calls. And next thing I know, No problem. They move the time and everything else. There's a stage of life that if you've done your job and it contributed enough to society that you know most of the players or you know most of the people in the industry and you've got relationships that are 20 years long or maybe 30 years long.

1:09:25And the talent pool is not elastic. There's only so many people that keep growing. And so you usually know those people and have a role in that. So that stage is where most people have that stage that we can think of as autumn, as the fall, as the reward stage. That's when most people earn the most. That's when most people tend to grow the most. That's when you start to really become a leader in that stage. And obviously it can happen earlier. And then 64 to 84 to 104 to 124, which is the oldest living humans, is the winter stage, which is there's a gradual decline in the body, no matter what you do at some stage.

1:09:58And you have to make sure you keep your mental facilities up. But it's also the most magnificent stage because you can make not only a phone call to get your playing out, but you are able, you have 30, I have 40 year relationships now. I've got five kids and five grandkids. You know, I've got people that I love with my soul that I would do anything for, do anything for me. I don't know many things in life. I feel closer to God in the universe than I've ever felt in my life. I feel like my life is such a blessing. If my life ended tomorrow, I'd be the most blessed man on earth. I'd like to continue contributing, but that's not in my hands.

1:10:32Yeah, we need you around. But that's not in my hands. Whenever I go, it'll be the right time. So it's just like, I want people to know, and all the studies, by the way, show, if you stay healthy, this stage I'm talking about is the most fulfilling stage. And it's a stage where you get to become, you know, an elder statesman and you're not trying to prove to somebody who the hell you are. You know, you don't play the social media game. You know who the hell you are. If people know you, like people know you're a good person, but if they don't, you don't really care, right? You just go deliver what you're here to deliver and do what you're going to do.

1:11:01So those stages of life, I think, are useful because we're all different, but there's a racetrack to life. And you're not there yet, but there's a stage in your life when your brain will go, there may be more days behind me than ahead of me. That's usually midlife, whatever age that is in people's heads. It's different for everybody. And there's a beauty. There's a massive increase of the beauty of life when you begin to realize it's a limited racetrack. it's uh you value every moment every relationship every experience you have even more and i'm at a stage of life where i have so many friends that are 20 years my senior um i have a lot of friends in their 80s and friends my age that have passed away just in recent years and it just reminds you that it's a limited racetrack it's but i think that's valuable i remember i read a um uh ray kurswell uh sent me one time ray kurswell is a brilliant futurist one smartest in the world right And one day he sent me this little story.

1:11:58He goes, Tony, I think you'd appreciate this. And it was a write-up about a story from a TV show that was done years ago. And in the TV show, which has a little twist, it's about a man who is a gambler. And he goes to heaven. And his Diet Day of Heaven is staying at the Wynn Hotel in the presidential suite, right? Or the encore, the presidential suite. And he wakes up in heaven. He wakes up at the top of the encore. And he opens his closet. and there's all these suits and outfits, and he opens the drawers, and there's cash, and there's jewelry, and watches, and all these things. And he goes downstairs, and every woman notices him.

1:12:33And he goes, and he's, Blackjack, you win. 21, you win. You win, you know? And all of a sudden, he's playing craps. You win. You win. You win. And he's lit up like a Christmas tree. And he goes home that night with more than one person, and he thinks it's the greatest experience of his life. And he wakes up the next day, and does the whole thing again. And the next day, and does the whole thing again. The next day, does the whole thing again. After three weeks of this, he's sitting at the table. He's playing blackjack and goes, 21, you win. He goes, of course I win. I always win. He's getting angry.

1:13:02He goes, there's something wrong here. He goes, I want to speak to the head angel. There's something wrong here. And so the head angel comes over. He looks like Guy Lombardi in his tuxedo and says, can I help you, sir? He says, yes. He goes, I win every single time. He goes, there's a mistake here. I don't belong in heaven. I'm not the kind of guy that should be in heaven. and the angel looks at him and said, who said you're in heaven? Oh, wow. If we always got everything we wanted, if time was unlimited, would you value life as much? So I'm here to make sure we make every moment matter with meaning and with love.

1:13:38It's beautiful. I love that story. Love that story. And I mean, you've dedicated so much to this and you keep doing it. Time to Rise Summit. Time to Rise is coming up at the end of this month. Yes. And it's another opportunity for people to get better at making decisions, to decide, to commit, to act, to resolve, to have that energy. Everything we've been talking about today. Plus, there's something about the calendar that's so funny. It's totally arbitrary. But a new year is like a new life. It's like a fresh start. And we all need a fresh start. But the problem is most people set a bunch of New Year's resolutions and 98 % they don't follow through on them.

1:14:13So this is about, hey, let's figure out what you really want. What's getting in the way? What's the plan? It's only three hours a day. So think of it like a great movie, only you're in it and you're actually changing your life three days in a row. So it's January 29th through the 31st. And you can attend from anywhere on earth. We had 1.3 million people last year attend from 193 countries, every country on earth that exists, at least that the UN recognizes. And it's an experience that probably should we'll forget. Plus, there's a community of people and there's zero charge. It's not like partial pay or there's zero charge.

1:14:43Once a year, I do this just to give back to people all over the earth. And it's really, really dynamic. I'm making people create incredible changes and they share them with the community on Facebook. I look forward to it every year. So I hope people will join us. And then the other thing, I hope you'll join me for that because it's an immersion and it's the beginning of the year and you set yourself up to win and meet some great people. But then also I've actually now created a partnership with Paramount where I'm doing the Tony Robbins Network, which we've just launched and it'll be all over the world.

1:15:11They're going to actually translate it in every language. I'll use AI. So I'll be speaking with my own voice in there. It's amazing technology we have today. But it's literally 24 seven channel of nothing, but we've got dozens of programs we've developed on how to improve your body, your emotions, your relationships, your finances, and there's no charge for it at all. So anybody can dip in and have an experience there as well. Wow. That's fantastic. I mean, what I love about Time to Rise is that that few days, those two to three days that people spend with you, it will create a shift. There's no question.

1:15:41Because we all need those moments where we just immerse, we get absorbed, we get focused because some of us maybe will do 10 minutes of thinking about our life here and 30 minutes over there. And maybe you'll spend an hour if you're lucky, but to have three days of three hours each, it's colossal what could happen in your life. And I really believe in immersion. The reason I do live events and they're usually 12 hours a day to give you an idea and people who won't sit for a three hour movie will go 12 hours and say, this is the greatest experience of my life is immersion is the way to learn. Like if you're going to learn a language and you learn a little bit at a time, most people learned in high school and college, they don't speak the language years later.

1:16:14But if I dropped you in Rome, for 90 days with no teacher, I pick you up, you're going to be speaking because you're seeing it, feeling, experiencing it. So three hours isn't quite that level of immersion, but it's enough to really create momentum, make some real choices and really change your life for the better. And it'd be my privilege to serve anyone who wants to join us. And again, there's no charge for it. Last question, Tony, before we end, you mentioned there that, and you've talked about it in your seminars, I've seen you talk about it, your relationship with God, the universe. Yes. And I wanted to ask you about that because I think we often refer to a relationship with God, a relationship with the universe.

1:16:46What does a relationship with God and the universe look like? How does one nurture that? What does that mean? It's more of what it feels like to me than what it looks like. It feels like, I feel like I've been guided in my life because I've asked for guidance and I believe I've been created. I think we're all created for different purposes. And my own personal belief, which may be wrong, is that I'm here to make things better. I mean, I wear these silly baseball caps all the time just for fun. But if you read them on the side, it says, be a blessing and you'll be blessed, is what it says underneath.

1:17:16And that's my whole philosophy of life, be a blessing. And I think, I know one of my sons, Josh, I remember when he became a Christian, I'm of the Christian faith personally, but I'm quite broad in my approach and not restrictive in my thinking. And I don't believe everyone should be what I believe to believe. In other words, if you have a spiritual belief, I hope you follow it because whatever it is, if you don't follow it, you're probably not going to be happy. And I'm not a proselytator of people to have to be or think a certain way. But I remember my son, he became Christian. And when people find God in whatever way they find it, they often think no one else has that.

1:17:47It's only their way, you know? And he became very, very rules-driven about this is how it is and that's how it is. And I was quite concerned. But rather than trying to push him to be a certain way, I told my wife, Sage, I said, honey, we were in Fiji. And I said, you know, I've got a few days. I said, I'm going to go on a fast for the next four days, maybe five, four or five days, just drink juice. And I'm going to read the whole Bible from cover to cover. And I said, because I've never read it that way. I've never done total immersion, like I talked about. I read the whole Bible, and literally about 18 hours a day.

1:18:19And I was struck at the end by an overall pattern. So I went to my son. He was being very devout and very right, wrong, good, bad. And anytime you make things extreme, I think it creates problems, right? And I didn't try to make them wrong in a way. I said, God's this, and God's means that, and this is what Christ did, and this is how it is. And I said, okay, Josh, I said, just I have one question for you. I said, I just read the entire Bible from cover to cover, and his jaw dropped open. I said, I'm dead serious. And Sage of the Major goes, he did it. I said, one thing that comes out of me, I read the Old Testament, and God seems like a selfish bastard who's mean and vindictive.

1:18:57And I read the New Testament, and God seems incredibly loving and supportive of all. So I said, if that's true, does God grow? And there's this long pause. He felt like he was being trapped. You know, like, you're trying to trap me. And I said, I'm not trying to trap you. I'm asking an honest question. I mean, everything in the universe either grows or dies. So does God grow? If the Bible is a real reflection of God, and there are many other books that are a reflection of being inspired by the divine, but let's say that's the book, does God grow? Because it sure looks like it in the book, you know?

1:19:34And if that's true, the only reason I'm bringing that up is I know what you're fearing is that you can't have absolute certainty about how things are, which is what everybody wants. But you could have faith. And I said, he goes, well, God knows everything. God knows what you're going to do before you're going to do how it's going to be. And he gave me this rattle. And I said, okay, I believe all that. But the question is, does God grow? And he couldn't give me an answer either way because he felt like he was being trapped in it. But eventually he loosened up. And I can say today he's much more balanced in that area.

1:20:02He's not trying to make everybody else believe what he believes. But I think the universe grows. I think God grows. And I think it's our job to grow. And I think that when I look at the spiritual side of life, the relationship I have is one that's more emotional than visual. I feel like when I get up to serve, God comes through me. When someone stands up and I say it's a date with destiny. You've been a date with destiny. You never know who's going to stand up. They could say, you know, I'm suicidal. Or they could say, you know, I'm considered killing myself and my five kids. I mean, I've had that come up.

1:20:34they could say I made$400 million and I'm depressed and people want to slap them. It's just, you never know what somebody's going to say, but the minute they stand up inside me, it's already done. Not because I'm so smart because I know they stood up in this moment, I believe, because this is all by design and the right answers will come through me. And they do. I mean, I've never lost the suicide knock on wood and you know, 48 years. Um, and you know, I'm sure people have seen, some people may have seen, I'm not your guru on Netflix. It's a piece, but you see people six years later, like the woman that was there that was suicidal, that was in that cult where they made you have sex with the adults.

1:21:09And she's got out. She's now a psychologist. She's rescued all these other kids. She doesn't have an ounce of depression or suicidal thoughts. Stanford did a study that shows that. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that the spiritual side of life is critical. But what I said to my son is this. I said, I want everyone's relationship to be God if I had a choice, which I don't. But if I had a choice, It should be as unique as your signature. Why should everybody copying everybody else? You should have an individual relationship with God. So I said, I really appreciate if you read the Bible or you read any great spiritual book, a personal Christian, but read any of them and let God speak to you.

1:21:45Don't just take it from another man or woman standing on a stage telling you what to believe. I always tell people in my events, I'm not here to tell you how to be. Who the hell would I be to do that? I'm just sharing with you insights and tools and strategies that can help you guide yourself to whoever you want to be. and hopefully to ask you, who do you want to be in this lifetime? Because in the end, what you get is not going to make you happy. Who are you going to become? That's going to make you happy or sad. So I think it's an individual decision and I think it evolves for people over time.

1:22:12But I think it's one of the most important things because for those who believe that there's nothing nihilistic, but this moment or this body, I think that's a big mistake. It's like saying Webster's Dictionary is the result of an explosion at Print Factory. It all came together perfectly in balance. I just don't buy that, even logically. And I think you're missing out on life if you don't think there's something more than you and also something more to serve than you. And that gives me personally a great sense of meaning. Yeah. Tony, thank you for your work, your tools, your insights, your life, your service.

1:22:43Thank you for your time and energy today. Thank you for all that you do. I appreciate it so much. I'm so grateful for our friendship, honestly. It's been a real gift. And I want to push people to timetorisesummit.com. It's timetorisesummit.com. That's where you can subscribe. Remember, you can sign up for absolutely free to join the Time to Rise Summit. You can be a part of it with all of the seminars, the insights, three hours a day. It's very rare that we get to do a podcast and I get to direct you to something which will exactly solve what we've been talking about. Today, we get to do that.

1:23:14Get to give you this summit as a gift. It's absolutely free that Tony's doing with him and his friends, timetorisesummit.com. Please go do yourself a favor. It's a gift. It's free. Start your year off right. get into that great season in the first quarter of this year. And remember, I'm forever in your corner and always rooting for you. Tony, thank you so much. Thank you, brother. Truly, thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you so much for listening to this conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll love my chat with Adam Grant on why discomfort is the key to growth and the strategies for unlocking your hidden potential.

1:23:48If you know you want to be more and achieve more this year, go check it out right now. You set a goal today. You achieve it in six months. And then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief. There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of expected it and you would have been disappointed if it didn't happen. What are the cycles fathers pass down that sons are left to heal? What if being a man wasn't about holding it all together, but learning how to let go? This is a space where men speak truth and find the power to heal and transform. I'm Mike Della Rocha. Welcome to Sacred Lessons. Listen to Sacred Lessons on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1:24:56This is the next chapter on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast episodes drop weekly. Hi, I'm Radhi Devlukia and I am the host of A Really Good Cry podcast. This week I am joined by Anna Runkle, also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, a creator, teacher, and guide helping people heal from the lasting emotional wounds of unsafe or chaotic childhoods. childhoods. Talking about trauma isn't always great for people. It's not always the best thing. About a third of people who were traumatized as kids feel worse when they talk about it, get very dysregulated. Listen to A Really Good Cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1:25:35This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.