In short
Podcast Summary: Open Book with Anthony Scaramucci - Episode: My Entire Life Exists Because Strangers Chose Courage
Episode Overview In this episode of *Open Book*, host Anthony Scaramucci engages in a deep conversation with Tom Carver, a former BBC foreign correspondent and author of *Where The Hell Have You Been?: Monty, Italy and One Man's Incredible Escape*. Carver shares the remarkable story of his father, Richard Carver, who escaped from a prisoner of war camp during World War II, as well as insights into his own life and connection to historical figures like Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery.
Key Themes and Discussions
- Background of Tom Carver
- Career as a War Reporter: Carver discusses his extensive experience as a BBC foreign correspondent covering significant events like the Rwandan genocide and Black Hawk Down.
- Connection to Montgomery: Carver elaborates on his family background, particularly focusing on his relationship with Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery, who was his step-grandfather.
- Richard Carver's Story
- Prisoner of War Experience: Richard Carver was captured and became a prisoner of war during World War II.
- Escape from Italy: The narrative centers on his harrowing 500-mile escape through German-occupied territory, aided by Italian civilians who risked their lives to protect him.
- Courage of the Italian Families: Carver highlights the bravery of families who aided his father, showcasing their selflessness in the face of significant danger from German forces.
- Themes of Courage and Sacrifice
- Acts of Bravery: The episode explores the extraordinary courage exhibited by ordinary people in times of war.
- The Role of Strangers: Carver emphasizes how strangers' courage and kindness played a crucial role in his father's survival, underscoring the theme of human connection in dire circumstances.
- Reflection on Monty
- Complex Personality: Carver reflects on Montgomery’s character, revealing a duality of being a stern military leader while also showing deep care for his family.
- Montgomery's Letters: The discovery of letters where Montgomery expresses concern for Richard Carver's well-being adds depth to the understanding of his character as a caring stepfather amidst the chaos of war.
- Lasting Impact of War
- Aftermath of Trauma: The discussion touches on the psychological effects of war on soldiers, examining how Richard Carver's experiences shaped his post-war life.
- Cultural Differences: Carver humorously contrasts British and Italian cultural expressions, especially in moments of emotional reunions.
Key Takeaways
- Human Resilience: The conversation illustrates the resilience of people during wartime and the unexpected ways in which lives are intertwined.
- Historical Perspectives: Carver’s familial connections to significant historical figures provide a unique lens through which to view World War II and its impact on personal lives.
- Empathy and Understanding: The importance of empathy and understanding historical narratives is highlighted throughout the episode.
Closing Thoughts The episode concludes with a reflection on the complexities of human relationships during times of crisis and the profound impact of courage, kindness, and community in shaping our lives and histories. Carver's story serves as a testament to the strength found in solidarity and compassion, even among strangers.
Resources
- Book Mentioned: *Where The Hell Have You Been?: Monty, Italy and One Man's Incredible Escape* by Tom Carver.
- Podcast: Tune in to *Open Book with Anthony Scaramucci* for more engaging discussions with thought leaders across various fields.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOTom Carver's Early Life and Career
2:15 to 4:07
Explore Tom Carver's experiences as a BBC foreign correspondent and his family background.
“wife, Katty Kay, who, you know, I mean, she browbeats me.”
The Influence of Bernard Montgomery
4:07 to 7:30
Learn about Tom's relationship with his step-grandfather, General Montgomery, and its impact.
“So I covered the Rwandan genocide and covered Somalia, Black Hawk Down, Srebrenica in Bosnia, all those sort of lovely things that now seem a long time ago, but were hugely consequential at the time.”
The Escape from Captivity
7:30 to 12:22
Hear the incredible story of Tom's father escaping from an Italian POW camp during WWII.
“But your father is a big part of this story as well, though.”
Navigating a Dangerous Journey
12:22 to 14:00
Discover the challenges faced by Tom's father during his escape through German-occupied territory.
“His life story is tied to you and your whole family because if he doesn't make it out of there, it's obviously a different destiny for all of us, right?”
Hiding from the Germans
14:00 to 14:47
Learn about the daring escape and strategies used by Tom's father during the war.
“And for 24 hours, they could hear the Germans driving around and around, unable to kind of figure out where all these men had disappeared to.”
The Courage of Italian Civilians
14:48 to 19:20
Discover the incredible bravery of Italian families who risked their lives to help Tom's father.
“And he used that for 500 miles, kept it in this little box.”
Montgomery's Concern for His Stepsons
19:21 to 21:32
Explore how Field Marshal Montgomery showed unexpected tenderness towards Tom's father.
“and would share their last bit of food with them.”
The Community's Support System
21:33 to 23:39
Learn about the extensive support network that helped Tom's father survive.
“And And he was not aware of that because the book came out after my father had passed.”
Cultural Differences in Emotional Expression
23:40 to 26:46
Understand the contrasting ways Italians and Brits express emotions, particularly during reunions.
“And the sole purpose of the trust is to raise money for educational fellowships, to bring the children of these families over, to give them a chance to learn English in Britain.”
The Lasting Impact of War on Soldiers
26:47 to 28:10
Reflect on how the traumatic experiences of war affect soldiers long-term, including Tom's father.
“Reflecting back on your dad for a moment, how do you think this traumatizing period of his life affected him?”
Show all 13 chapters
Reflections on a Father's War Experience
28:10 to 33:49
Discover Tom Carver's insights into his father's impactful war experiences and their lasting effects.
“experience, the level of emotional intensity, the ups, the downs, the terror, the amazing feeling when you're safe, all that sort of thing.”
Reacting to Key Words
33:49 to 35:58
Tom Carver shares spontaneous thoughts on key words related to duty, bravery, and Italy.
“and we pick out words, and we want you to just react to them, okay?”
The Critical Role of Monty
35:58 to 38:04
Discussion on the significance of General Monty in WWII and the nature of military leadership.
“And for everyone, for the Americans, because the Americans were starting to land in North Africa.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Tom Carver:When you want your spring break to feel like... And your kid's pool day to feel like... And your hotel bed to feel like... Ooh, and room service to feel like... Because at Hilton, hospitality feels like... Your cabana's ready. Would you like fresh towels? It matters where you stay. Book now at Hilton.com. Hilton. For this day. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Introducing Virtuo Up, the latest in a long line of innovation from Nespresso. It's innovation you can touch, sense, and taste in every single cup. With a three-second start, easy open lever, and dedicated brew over ice button, it's even easier to enjoy your coffee your way.
0:52Tom Carver:Sip for yourself. Shop Virtuo Up exclusively at Nespresso.com. This episode is brought to you by Indeed. Stop waiting around for the perfect candidate. Instead, use Indeed Sponsored Jobs to find the right people with the right skills fast. It's a simple way to make sure your listing is the first candidate C. According to Indeed data, Sponsored Jobs have four times more applicants than non-sponsored jobs.
1:17Anthony Scaramucci:So go build your dream team today with Indeed. Get a$75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. One time during this two months, the Germans realized that there was two officers hiding, and they went to the DeGorio family, and they put the grandmother, Maria, against the wall and said, we're going to shoot you unless you tell us. And she didn't tell them. And it's just incredible, you know, that someone would do that for two total strangers that they had no connection with and would share their last bit of food with them. It's just amazing.
1:51Tom Carver:Welcome to Open Book. I am your host, Anthony Scaramucci. Joining us now is Tom Carver. He's the author of Where the Hell Have You Been? Monte Italy and One Man's Incredible Escape. It's being republished right now in the UK, and it'll be out again in a new edition in the United States in May. Tom, welcome to the show. And of course, some of you may know Tom's wife, Katty Kay, who, you know, I mean, she browbeats me. Tom and I could probably talk about that as well, but my co-host.
2:27Anthony Scaramucci:Deidre and I could talk about that.
2:29Tom Carver:Yes, exactly. The rest is politics US. But anyway, this is an extraordinary story, Tom. But before we get into this story, I want to talk a little bit about your background, if okay, and your relationship with General or Marshal Bernard Montgomery.
2:48Anthony Scaramucci:sure yeah um well let me say quite funny anthony sitting in the chair that caddy normally sits in to chat to you every week and i'm here instead of her um but she really loves doing the podcast
3:01Tom Carver:and she left you good hey carver she left you good lighting by the way you you're very well lit so she must she set my microphone up she must still like you because the lighting is yeah you know she would have made you too bright otherwise but you're looking good yeah yeah we
3:19Anthony Scaramucci:had a kind of rough night because our daughter had some people around and they were there till two in the morning but we survived and we're here yeah well that's the perils anyway but she does love doing it with you and she often comes out of the podcast talking about it and saying how exciting it is to to be with you and to do the podcast every week so it's great she's she's
3:40Tom Carver:Enhance my brand, Carver. That British accent that you guys have, you know, she's taking me up a notch, Carver.
3:46Anthony Scaramucci:I think it's a meet, sure.
3:48Tom Carver:Well, let's get the conversation on your background, which I think is just a fascinating thing, and how you became a BBC foreign correspondent. And then, obviously, I mean, there's a personal side to this story that gravitated you to write this book. Let's start there.
4:06Anthony Scaramucci:Yeah. Yeah, so I, as you say, I was a BBC foreign correspondent for many years, a war reporter, actually, for eight years of doing wars. I was based in Africa. So I covered the Rwandan genocide and covered Somalia, Black Hawk Down, Srebrenica in Bosnia, all those sort of lovely things that now seem a long time ago, but were hugely consequential at the time. and all the time I was doing this and in the field I was kind of conscious of my father having had also an extraordinary life as a as a officer and the fact that his stepfather was Field Marshal Montgomery and Monty died when I was about 15 I think so I have quite clear memories of him i remember being taken to see him by my parents and being kind of completely silenced by the by by him he was a intimidating character and whenever we went over there it seemed like there was like 15 other generals with all their badges and medals and things and i remember one particularly kind of gruesome sunday afternoon and we were they were having tea and Monty told me to pass the chocolates around and I dropped them because I was so nervous and I was kind of scrabbling around all amongst the feet of all these generals trying to pick up these chocolates and he just yelled at me just get out and go into the garden and so I went into the garden and in the garden of his house down in the south of England where he'd retired was his caravan that he had used all through his North Africa campaign right up through Italy all the way through D-Day to Berlin he had traveled in this caravan and I went on being an inquisitive 15 year old you know went into the caravan I didn't really know much about Monty's significance and on the wall of the caravan was this map of the Mediterranean and there were these kind of china graphs i don't know if you know you know those kind of things you use to write on a map anyway i started kind of just doodling on the map which was a bit mischievous um but i was bored and cut forward i don't know 40 years later and that caravan is in the imperial war museum and there was a formal opening of the caravan which had been donated to the imperial war museum and my dad and i were invited and we were lying lining up and there was a lot of other dignitaries ahead wanting to see the caravan and what it was like and i and by then i was a foreign correspondent and i remember this man i think he was a an american general actually coming out of the caravan and looking kind of mystified and saying to his wife wow i don't know monty ever planned the sea invasion of North Africa.
7:10Anthony Scaramucci:That had been my China graph line that I'd kind of, you know, mischievously lined across the map, uh, from, from the Mediterranean into North Africa. Anyway, I didn't tell my dad, I didn't confess to him that that was my line, but, but it was, yeah, it, he was always this presence in my life.
7:30Tom Carver:But your father is a big part of this story as well, though. So tell us a little bit about your dad?
7:35Anthony Scaramucci:So my dad was born two months before the start of the First Old War, which is kind of incredible to think, right? I mean, in May 1914. His father was very young. His father had just graduated from Cambridge and was sent straight into the trenches. And he was killed at Gallipoli, my grandfather. And my father was 18 months old, so never knew his father. His mother then, who was a very vivacious character by all accounts. I never met her, my grandmother, but she was very, had, you know, enjoyed lots of company. And so she was a widow and she, in the 1930s, met this colonel in the ski resort called Bernard Montgomery.
8:23Anthony Scaramucci:And they fell in love. And he was an unknown at that time. He was completely unknown. and very you could see you could see what kind of a character he was he was you know full of energy slightly add quite sharp you know slightly spectrum probably um you know would be quite sharp with people but but you know clearly brilliant and they were kind of an unlikely couple and they fell in love and my dad was about 12 then i guess um no i guess he was a bit more But anyway, my grandmother then was on a beach just before the beginning of the Second World War in England. And she got a bite from an insect.
9:06Anthony Scaramucci:And she died of blood poisoning. It was before antibiotics. It was before she didn't get proper treatment. And Monty was absolutely devastated. and if you look at the photos of him at that time he just looks like a shell of a man i mean he it was the only person i think in the whole world that he ever loved was my grandmother and when she went he just threw himself into his work um and you know it's one of those interesting counter-narrative things you know if betty had lived would he have become the general that he did subsequently because he became obsessive about fighting the Germans. So he was not liked by Churchill because he was so argumentative and quite difficult to handle.
10:02Anthony Scaramucci:And when Rommel was coming along the North African coast in 1942, and it looked really bad for the Allies, Monty ended up as the general there in charge. And it wasn't Churchill's choice. The previous general had been killed in an aircraft crash. And Churchill really had run out of generals, basically. And so he very reluctantly appointed Monty to this. And it was a real hinge moment because Rommel was on the verge of taking Cairo. Had he taken Cairo, he would have had access to all the oil fields in the Middle East. And Monty just realized this was his moment. And he said, I'm going to make this stand at this place called El Alamein in the desert.
10:53Anthony Scaramucci:And he prepared and he prepared and he prepared for it. And then he launched his counterattack. And it broke through Rommel's lines. And my dad was, Monty had asked my dad to be his ADC, his aide-de-college. And so my dad arrived in the desert, 24, again, just down from Cambridge. And Monty, during this advance, it was all chaotic, as you can imagine. You know, it was like hundreds of thousands of troops. It was dark. It was January. It was raining unusually in the desert. and Monty told my dad to get in his staff car and drive forward towards the Germans to find a new place to put the headquarters.
11:43And my dad drove in the night
11:46Anthony Scaramucci:and he just went too far. There were no lights. And he hit the German lines and they arrested them. And the incredible thing, Anthony, is that they didn't realize they had Monty's stepson because he had a different name and they didn't know about Monty's family, I guess. Had they known that, they would have obviously used him as a hostage. They would have sent him to Kolditz or to the concentration camps. Sure. But because they just thought he was just another British officer, they gave him over to the Italians and he was put in a camp in Italy.
12:22Tom Carver:But he escaped. I mean, this is the great part. Yeah. So then... His life story is tied to you and your whole family because if he doesn't make it out of there, it's obviously a different destiny for all of us, right? So he escapes, and this is a brilliant part of the story. It's a 500-mile journey through German-occupied territory. He's in the winter. He doesn't have a GPS, right? I don't think he has an iPhone on him in the escape, right? So tell us about this harrowing little food, risk of betrayal, risk of being captured. Talk us through some of the moments he faced. How do you think he navigated those?
13:03Anthony Scaramucci:Yeah, it's a good question. I mean, he obviously had nothing and prepared him for it. I should just tell you how he got to escape, because when the Italians surrendered in 1943, you know, the Italian army just put down their weapons, right? And the head of the camp where he was in, in northern Germany, in northern Italy, by Parma, it's called Fontanolato, happened to be a very decent Italian colonel. And the Germans were pouring into Italy over the Alps to try to stem the progress of the Allies coming up through Sicily and so forth. And he said, he got all the camp together. And he said, in two hours, the Germans are going to be here.
13:47Anthony Scaramucci:I'm going to cut the wire and you can escape and he knew that that meant death for him because the Germans would be furious obviously but he cut the wire and 1200 men ran out and they decided rather amazingly that if they just ran the Germans would just drive around and pick them up, it would be easy for them so they decided to hide in a massive drainage ditch almost right next to the camp because they just thought the Germans would never look there. And for 24 hours, they could hear the Germans driving around and around, unable to kind of figure out where all these men had disappeared to. And then eventually the Germans carried on south and they stood up and started going their different ways.
14:36Anthony Scaramucci:And some went to the Alps, some went to the coast. and my dad as you say decided to walk south down the apennines um hoping i guess eventually to meet up with his stepfather monty who was coming up and you talk about navigation i brought with you something which i think you might find interesting this is the compass that he used on his navigation you know so no gps as you say there it is it's a little thing made out of a safety pin and a top of some tin top and put together by sticking plaster. And it still works, still points north. And he used that for 500 miles, kept it in this little box.
15:26Tom Carver:It's a lot of help along the way, though. I mean, it's an interesting story about the Italian civilian community, right? They come to help him. Tell us a little bit about that because obviously they're helping him under risk of execution. They're helping him under fear of imprisonment, concentration camps, et cetera, but they don't care. They make that courageous sacrifice for him. Tell us about that.
15:50Anthony Scaramucci:Yeah. I mean, they really are the hero of the story and I hope they come across as the hero of my book. There was a series of families that looked after him. I mean, he was looked after by monks in monasteries. He was looked after by quite wealthy families, very poor families along the way. But there was one family in particular that just saved his life because he gets, in December 1943, he gets to the Sangro River, which is this river kind of east of Rome. And this is the river that the Germans have decided to put what was known as the Gustav Line, a massive fortification. and they are going to stop the Allies coming up.
16:39Anthony Scaramucci:And so there are hundreds of thousands of Germans there. But he knows that on the other side of the river is Monty. And so if he can just cross this river, he will be safe. And he is hiding in this bush one morning, trying to kind of figure out what he's going to do. And these two kids come down this track and they trip over my father's feet because my father was quite tall. he couldn't get his feet into the bush so they trip over his feet and they have a gun with them and they think initially that he's a German and so they're about to shoot him and he says no, no, no, no we're English, I'm an English officer he was with a one-on-one guy and it turns out that these two guys Alfonso and Antonio di Gregorio were running down from their farmhouse in the hills because the Germans had just taken their family pig.
17:35Anthony Scaramucci:And that, you can imagine how absolutely critical that pig was to that family's survival. No kidding. I mean, you know, this was a family without hardly any food. And these two boys were determined to take on this German patrol and get the pig back. And my father realized that this was absolute madness and that they would all die if they tried to do that. And so he said, please don't do that, please don't do that, and persuaded them. And they lay in the bushes, and they watched the patrol go by with the pig. And they took my father up to the house. And that family then looked after my father for nearly two months, and they would put him in a cave.
18:20Anthony Scaramucci:There was this cave that he hid in with Jim, his other companion, during the day. And then every night, Alfonso or one of the boys would come down and tell them the coast was clear. And they'd bring them up to the farmhouse and they would feed them. They would share, you know, the tiny amount of food that they had with them. It's an incredible story. It's an incredible story. And just, you know, so just to give you an example of how incredibly brave they were. one time during this two months, the Germans realized that there was two officers hiding, and they went to the DeGorio family, and they put the grandmother, Maria, against the wall and said, we're going to shoot you unless you tell us.
19:09Anthony Scaramucci:And she didn't tell them. And it's just incredible, you know, that someone would do that for two total strangers that they had no connection with. and would share their last bit of food with them. It's just amazing.
19:30Tom Carver:Well, listen, I want to take it back to Monty for a second because you discover a lot about Monty's personality in writing the book. He, as you point out, he's a formidable commander. He's sort of an imperious guy, guy but he's also a stepfather in love with his stepson and he's worried about him uh and he has no idea whether he's alive or dead so tell us about uncovering that story and how it potentially changed your understanding of field marshal montgomery yeah so as i said you know at the
20:08Anthony Scaramucci:beginning my childhood memories of him was as a very severe man who really had lost any person he ever loved. And so, you know, and had gone through all this war, he'd gone through the first old war, and then through the second war. And so he was kind of, you know, suffering PTSD. But also had a very kind of inflated ego and kind of sense of himself. And yeah, he wasn't an easy man, and never kind of showed much affection to any of us. But in writing this book, what I discovered was that when I applied to the war museum for some records I came across a whole series of letters that my that Monty had written to the red international red cross asking about my father and where was he and which prisoner of war camp was he in and was he getting rations and make sure that he is you know um tracked and traced and not you know doesn't disappear into of the Gulag.
21:08Anthony Scaramucci:And you think how busy Monty was at that time of fighting in Alamein and then fighting up through Sicily and up through Italy. And then, yeah, and basically all during that year, he was trying to find my dad and making sure that my dad wasn't lost. And I think that shows an incredible tenderness that I don't think my father ever knew. My father's now died, obviously. And And he was not aware of that because the book came out after my father had passed. But I do want to just say one thing about this. Can I just go back a second to this image of my dad living in this cave? Because not only did the De Gregorios look after him, they enlisted the whole community.
22:00Anthony Scaramucci:And there was a system. So when I was researching the book, Caddy and I went back to Italy with our kids, and we found the cave, and we found the family, and we sat with them, and we talked about it, and we discovered that there was a whole system of looking after Jim and my dad. And, for example, there was a woman in the neighboring village of Rocca Scalegna, which is where the German headquarters were, who every time the Germans went out on patrol from that village, she would lower a sheet out of the window as if she was airing it. And someone else in the village next to the Gregorios, which was called Jessupelenia, would see that and would then run up and tell the Gregorios to get my dad and Jim back into the cave.
22:56Anthony Scaramucci:And so that's kind of one side of it. The reason that the Germans knew that they were there is because there was another woman who was sleeping with the German commandant and revealed in the moment of high ecstasy that there was a couple of British soldiers. And that's why they went up to the de Gregorias and threatened to kill the grandmother. so you know you kind of uncover these layers in which these families are kind of either helping or hindering this effort it's it was kind of amazing and we you know i don't know you want to know about this but i mean we stayed in touch with this family and i'm still in touch with them
23:39Tom Carver:yeah that was my follow-up question have your family still been able to keep that connection
23:44Anthony Scaramucci:you know 80 years long 80 years past yeah yeah absolutely because i just think i mean like you say without them my dad wouldn't be alive i wouldn't be alive i mean i owe everything to them um and so yes i mean the the cousin of of this family came to stay with us for easter in washington um antonio who is another cousin who's very we're very particularly close to who lives in geneva we go and see and then also i'm now on the board of this organization for the Monte San Martino Trust, which is a group of all descendants of POWs in Italy, just like me, who owe their lives to Italian families. And the sole purpose of the trust is to raise money for educational fellowships, to bring the children of these families over, to give them a chance to learn English in Britain.
24:46Anthony Scaramucci:And it's incredibly moving. We just had our lunch in london the other day and just the stories that others have you know quite similar and not just
Read the full transcript
24:54Tom Carver:brits but also a lot of americans too let's go to the cultural differences between the italians and the brits for a second okay because he's now returning allied headquarters and he's seeing monty this is the title of your book and monty very dryly says to him where the hell have you been i'm just letting you know italians don't do that tom they'd be hugging each other the accordion would have been broken out the wine would be popping but the brits are like you know dryly i mean he's worried sick about them you know anybody's like where the hell have you been right so tell us about that moment because you you capture this emotional moment between the two of
25:35Anthony Scaramucci:them brilliantly in the book yeah i mean it absolutely as you say i mean that is the difference of nationalities can you imagine the italian saying that i mean it's just impossible the
25:48Tom Carver:italians would have had like a full-on wedding you know what i mean they would have been bringing
25:52Anthony Scaramucci:food it would have killed seven pigs for that right right right i mean i guess you know monty was a little busy so he didn't have time for a full-on wedding but even so he could have given him a hug i mean there's a fantastic photo in the book of the two of them standing side by side and Monty, I mean, my dad, who had arrived in the camp in Monty's HQ, completely disheveled and malnourished and had a beard and everything. He'd been sent off to get a quick shave before meeting Monty. And he's standing there looking a bit shell-shocked, and there's Monty. And if you read into it, you can see that Monty's smile is pretty warm.
26:31Anthony Scaramucci:But you would never have guessed, I would never have guessed, until I found these letters that he was so worried about my dad. Yeah. And it was just, that was Monty's style. You know, where the hell have you been? You know, that was his way of saying, I'm glad to see you. Reflecting back on your dad for a moment, how do you think this traumatizing period of his life affected him?
26:55Tom Carver:So I have a uncle who I'm named after, who was on Normandy Beach, he survived Normandy Beach. He was wounded in a small village on the way to Paris with the Allied troops, the American army, was in a field hospital for two months. After his convalescence, they told him he could return home. He did not. He went to go fight in the Ardennes in the Battle of the Bulge and ended up in Potsdam with Harry Truman. But forever changed. Forever changed, Tom. You know, he suffered from what we now call PTSD, and he never really recovered from his wartime experience and the senseless deaths of his friends that he watched and witnessed and the horrors and so forth.
27:37Tom Carver:Was your dad impacted? Obviously, he was impacted, but how was he impacted by this experience? With your adult mind today, looking back on your childhood?
27:51Anthony Scaramucci:Yeah, that's a very good question. And also, not just with my adult mind, but perhaps having been in some war zones myself, I mean, nothing like my dad, but it gave me a flavor of empathy and the level of intensity that you experience, the level of emotional intensity, the ups, the downs, the terror, the amazing feeling when you're safe, all that sort of thing. and I think there's a side to this PTSD which a lot of people find hard to acknowledge because it doesn't sound very good but it's like that was the high point of my dad's life you know that I mean everyone was saying to him how awful it must have been during the war but imagine that those two years of kind of being on the run and being the prisoner of war camp and I mean, you're never going to experience life as vividly and feel as alive as you are then.
28:52Anthony Scaramucci:And I think after that, I suspect everything felt a bit of a slightly grayer, less colorful, less, you know. Yeah, I mean, he stayed in the army for a bit. Then he did some teaching. He was a very gentle guy. But, yeah, I don't think he ever kind of felt that he... I mean, he still had some amazing experiences in the army. He was based in Kenya and Egypt and things after the war, but nothing came close to that and that experience. But at the same time, being very British, he never talked about it. And so, I mean, I had this one memory when I was 14, and my sister and I, and we didn't have very much money, and we suddenly never went abroad for holidays.
29:45Anthony Scaramucci:And suddenly my dad and mom said, we're going down to Italy on holiday. And this was in the kind of late 70s, I guess. And we drove in our little car across the channel on the ferry and then down through France. And it was great. It was a nice camping holiday. And then we get to the kind of middle of Italy and we pull up on the side of a road and my dad suddenly disappears into the bushes for like an hour and liz my sister and i had no idea what was going on i was like 13 i suppose and he comes back and he's like shrieking and he's you know kind of joyous and what he had done was gone to find the cave and he had found it but what was weird is that he then what seemed weird to me later was that he then never went to try to find the family the de gregorios right i mean he's right there in the same village and he doesn't go and see them and why do you think well so what happened was that it turned out that they my mom and i my mom and dad tried to they did go to the village on the way back, I had had to go back to school in Britain.
31:03Anthony Scaramucci:My sister had gone on, so there was just the two of them. After we left, they did go to the village. When we were sitting down with Catty with the family, I began this whole prepared speech of apology, saying, I'm really sorry my father never came back to see you in the village. Antonia, one of the cousins, said he did. And I say, well, what do you mean he did? And he said, yeah, we know that your father and mother came to the village in the late 70s. And they asked for Alfonso and Maria, and they asked for the family. and they got a ride with a taxi driver a local taxi driver who said who didn't who knew that they that the gregorias were in the village but didn't want to give up the price of the ride that they would get driving this british officer around interesting and so he never told my dad he said oh the gregorias have moved away interesting wow and of course there was no google there's no way of checking right exactly my dad just went oh that's sad you know and it wasn't until 1985 when my dad was retired my mama died that my dad received in the post a vhs remember those vhs videos yeah received a vhs and don't let my don't let my dyed hair confuse you about
32:35Tom Carver:my age tom okay i i remember a vhs okay i remember an eight millimeter camera okay right right yeah
32:44Anthony Scaramucci:well yeah i don't remember them but my dad didn't even have a vhs machine so i had to go out and buy vhs machine plug this thing in and it was the family who had reenacted that moment of bush and kind of finding my dad. And it was kind of, I'd love to show it to you one day. It's like chaotic Italian and English and kind of lots of people. And there was a horse makes an appearance in it at some stage. And, you know, they're all kind of trying to tell their bit of the story and what happened and how, you know, they'd found him in the bush and then they took him up to the farmhouse. And they made this whole thing and somehow found my dad's address in England and sent it to him.
33:29And that, from then on, we really established contact. And, you know, my dad went to see them, and they came to stay with my dad.
33:39Anthony Scaramucci:So that was great. I mean, at the end of his life, he was able to be reconciled with the family.
33:45Tom Carver:Great, great, great, wonderful story. So we're down to the five words where me and my producer, we look through your book, and we pick out words, and we want you to just react to them, okay? Okay.
33:59Anthony Scaramucci:wow that sounds a bit daunting like a test is it a one or two cents i want to say the word
34:05Tom Carver:whatever comes to your head you give me a one or two cents if i if i yeah exactly a role if i say the word duty you think of what
34:16Anthony Scaramucci:i think of i think of solemn i it's kind of loaded freighted tough
34:26Tom Carver:bravery what about the word bravery unexpected yeah we never know who the heroes are going to be right you never know how brave
34:34Anthony Scaramucci:you're capable of being until you're put in that situation right amen i agree i agree with that sir uh italy i say the word italy passion i mean the brits love italy i mean come on right right we love it we're italians and everything we want to be you know i can't get enough of italy right i
34:53Tom Carver:mean come on let's face it right yeah absolutely by the way my italian cousins as you know i have a lot of relatives still in it they say i'm american they hurt my feelings every day when they tell me that oh yeah you work too hard you know we're cutting an extra piece of cheese we're having an extra bottle of wine we already had our empire we know it's a bunch of yeah exactly you
35:11Anthony Scaramucci:guys are working too hard over there all right they don't have any insecurities they know who
35:15Tom Carver:they are unconditional love for italy i think we both agree on that right absolutely okay i would
35:21Anthony Scaramucci:be italian you know if i could be anything i'd be italian i'd love well me too i if i could be
35:26Tom Carver:think i would be it turns out they're telling me i'm not my relative i see myself as an italian all right richard carver i say the words richard carver you think what
35:39Anthony Scaramucci:i think i think love yeah i think love for this complicated man who you know bottled up a lot inside him and went through a lot but yeah i loved him a lot as a dad this was a it's an amazing
35:56Tom Carver:insightful story about his light his tribulations his travails and uh i mean is it to me i mean should be should be a stream by the way i i see this as a uh a part stream somewhere uh there's
36:10Anthony Scaramucci:not much love action in it you know that's the only thing i think you know there's no kind of
36:15Tom Carver:that's why it could be fictionalized you go off the board there okay right you got the you got the german stop in the uh the girl right i mean come on there's some stuff in here all right let's go to the last word and i'm going to give you the last word tom uh monty i say the word monty you
36:32Anthony Scaramucci:say what i have to say one word no we don't have to say a word and give me a sentence a paragraph a churchill said that if it hadn't been for l alamein britain would have you know the allies would probably have lost the war right it was the turning point and so in a way and tactical
36:50Tom Carver:but also psychological for the Brits, right?
36:53Anthony Scaramucci:Absolutely.
36:53Tom Carver:Absolutely. Yeah.
36:55Anthony Scaramucci:Yeah. Yeah. And for everyone, for the Americans, because the Americans were starting to land in North Africa.
37:01Tom Carver:They believed they could beat the Nazis after that battle. Exactly.
37:07Anthony Scaramucci:Absolutely. And then, you know, three months later, they landed on the mainland of Europe for the first time in four years in Sicily. Or in the mainland. So, you know, it was a huge turning point. And if that had failed, then everything would have been lost. And so, yeah.
37:26Tom Carver:When I read your book and I hear the word Monty, I say pain in the ass, but indispensable. Right? I mean, I think that's probably true for a lot of personalities like his, right?
37:39Anthony Scaramucci:Their pains in the ass, but, you know, you need it. Absolutely. Like Patton, right? Was a pain in the ass and indispensable. Yeah. I mean, absolutely. I mean, generals come in two ways. They come as diplomats like Eisenhower was. Allenbrook was. Or they come as pain in the ass, you know, but God, you want them on your side. Amen. Right.
37:59Tom Carver:MacArthur. MacArthur. Exactly.
38:02Anthony Scaramucci:Right. Yeah. Yeah.
38:04Tom Carver:It's been great to have you on the show, Tom. The title of the book is Where the Hell Have You Been? Monty, Italy and One Man's Incredible Escape. It's by Tom Carver, former BBC foreign correspondent. And thank you so much for joining us today on Open Book.
38:22Anthony Scaramucci:Thank you. It was great, Anthony.
38:48Tom Carver:into something hearty, satisfying, and built for life on the go. From craveable sauces to satisfying textures, they're designed to keep you going without slowing you down. So put that fork down. Try the new wraps today in app or at order.sweetgreen.com. Available at participating locations only.
From the publisher
Tom Carver was a long-time foreign correspondent with the BBC. He was latterly the BBC's Washington Correspondent and continues to live in Washington working as a writer and consultant. He is the step-grandson of Field Marshal Montgomery.
This book would make a great TV series. Get your copy of Where The Hell Have You Been?: Monty, Italy and One Man's Incredible Escape
Anthony Scaramucci is the founder and managing partner of SkyBridge, a global alternative investment firm, and founder and chairman of SALT, a global thought leadership forum and venture studio. He is the host of the podcast Open Book with Anthony Scaramucci. A graduate of Tufts University and Harvard Law School, he lives in Manhasset, Long Island.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
