CFB Mega Preview W/ Brandon Walker & Tom Fornelli, Waterdog CJ Kirst, Mt Rushmore Of Worst Favors, Micah Parsons Traded During Fyre Fest

27:10No. Sometimes the hype is real. A lot of the times it's... Sometimes the public wins. Yeah. Especially early in the year. Yeah. You're right. 50? I'm taking the under in Maine Liberty. Under 52 and a half. Can't wait for that one. Love that one. That's a huge one. I think there's going to be a lot of stupid penalties. Maine Liberty. False flag game. I love that. Yeah. Think about it. Memes gets it. Memes definitely gets it. No. I don't like Maine's offense. Yeah, we're rooting for no points. Yep. I mean, have you watched Maine? Have you read any of the reports coming out of their camp? It's ugly.

27:52It doesn't look good. It's ugly. I also am doing something on Saturday night that I'm going to hate myself for. I'm going to probably bet on LSU, and then when Brian Kelly does a red-faced press conference. It's Groundhog's Day. Brian Kelly's going to blow this game. I'm going to bet on him. They're going to do a press conference after. He's going to be like, we just can't figure it out and all this stuff. And then on Tuesday's show, we'll roast Brian Kelly and be like, I wish anyone else but Brian Kelly coached LSU. I actually think this is going to be different. I'm betting on him, so I know I'm walking into the trap.

28:28I'm well aware of what LSU does in week one, and I'm doing it again. And they're going to win this time. Yeah. And I like Garrett Nussmeyer. and kate club might have gotten in a car accident which we'll get to with brandon and uh tom in a minute uh all right anything else before we get to our mount rushmore and then brandon and tom any any other there's a a tennis beef going on right now oh i feel like we should address it a little bit oh so i'm i don't know who these two players are uh but they played yesterday at the u.s open wait can i guess a name you you're not going to guess the name i'm just going to guess as many tennis names as I can.

29:04Alcarez. No. Sinner. You're not going to guess this. Medved. You're not going to guess this. That's all the names. Ostapenko. Nope. What does that name mean to you? Nothing. Well, she was upset because after the match, she got into a verbal dispute with her opponent because her opponent didn't properly say I'm sorry after hitting a ball that hit the net and bounced over. A let? No, like in the course of play. Oh, not on a serve? You know, like in tennis, if you hit the ball into the net and it bounces over and you score, you're supposed to be like, hey, I'm sorry for that. I personally, and I've played a lot of tennis.

29:42A lot. I will never apologize for that. Yeah, so she was very upset about that. She wrote two pages worth of Instagram stories about it. Just a small update about the match. Today after the match, I told my opponent she was very disrespectful as she hit a netball in a very deciding moment and didn't say sorry. But her answer was that she doesn't have to say sorry at all. Exactly. There are some rules in tennis, which most of the players follow, and it was the first time ever that this happened to me on tour. If she plays in her homeland, it doesn't mean that she can behave and do whatever she wants.

30:14In the beginning of the match, all players are supposed to start warm up on the baseline. The opponent came out, and straight away she started the warm-up at then, which is very disrespectful and against the rules of a tennis match. Thank you for attention to this matter. I got to say, I wasn't familiar with this rule. This is by far the dumbest unspoken rule of all time. Yeah, say I'm sorry for hitting a really good shot. For scoring a point. Yeah, my bad. Holy shit. You're not sorry when you score that point. No. You're so pumped. You're pumped. You're like, fooled you. Gotcha. Actually, you should start trying to intentionally hit it in the net.

30:51Yeah. The top of the net because the ball dies after. You're going to win all those points. Yeah. So, sorry, Ostapenko. Oh, man. You are the softest person in the world if you have to post a note about this after. Yeah. And she did like a look at the font that she. Marty Fish, text us after when you hear this part. Did you ever apologize for this shit? I hope not. I hope you're a man about it. Look at all that stuff. That's weird font, too. Yeah. Yeah. No, I hate this person. I hate her. Hate her guts. Ah. Ah. Okay. Let's get to our Mount Rushmore. Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office. When I think of denim, I think of Abercrombie.

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33:04It's a final Rushmore. All right, final Rushmore of the regular season. This is truly a must-win for me and Hank. Yes. Not a can't-lose. Here's where we're at with the standings. Zach and I have clinched first place with 52 points. Max, thank you. Thank you, Hank. That was nice of you. Max and Memes are at 47 points. PFT and Hank are at 45 points. There's now only one way for there to be a duel. that is for PFT and Hank to win this Mount Rushmore, for Zach and I to finish second, and for Max and Memes to finish third. There is a path. There's a path. Pokemon go to the polls. If that occurs, we will be in a duel, and we will do the duel next week, most likely in Wednesday's show.

33:56So, listen, we're not trying to say anything, but it would be great for a duel. No. Not trying to influence the vote whatsoever. But a duel last year was electric. I love the duel. Yeah, and it would be, for people who missed the duel last year, this year it would be Zach and I coming up with Mount Rushmore topics that we then give to the boys, and they don't have any time to think or game plan. They've got to go off the dome. So it would be completely off the dome. And we threw out the idea. I guess we can confirm or deny it. I like the idea of doing between the two teams a 1v1, a 1v1, and then a 2v2.

34:35Rider Cups. Yeah. Yes. Maybe even a scramble where we take the best answer that we give. You say the first word, Hank says the second word? Alternate word? Alternate word? An alternate word, too, would be awesome. That would actually be great. That should be one of the formats. Oh, man. Okay, so for the final Mount Rushmore in the regular season, Max is via Zoom. Memes, do you have the ball on this one? Yeah, but Max helped. Max helped, okay. And he is here. Memes has the ball. All right, your mic sounds like shit. I don't know what's up with that, but that's fine. Who has the ball on your guys team?

35:20That's Hank. Hank? Yeah. Hank has the ball. Okay. J.R. Smith. I've got so much confidence in Hank. Okay, so. J.R. Smith came one of the NBA finals. I could be like Keegan Bradley. I could just pick myself and send myself out there, and I've wanted to do it my entire life. It's been my dream, but I got to go with Hank. I think you should. I think. Okay. No, I said, Hank, you got the ball. All right, well, we'll see. All right, so. We got to win. We're going to do the. By the way, I was reading. We never did the analytics, and I was thankful. I knew it in the back of my head, and I was just not trying to say it.

35:50I think if we looked at our stats for this Mount Rushmore season, the points per PFT picking versus the points for mine is like double. So he's been better than you? Way better. Oh. I was waiting for someone to bring it up. And you just brought it up. But yeah, well, the season's over. Been working on that story for an entire year. Season's over now. But like, I know that. I think you should take the ball. But I will. You know what, though? You know what, though, Hank? This is leadership, okay? I want you to do it. You know why? Because I believe in you. Just so we're clear, though, are you saying I'm sitting out?

36:23Like, are you Scotty Pippen here? Are you? No, this isn't Tony Kukoc. This is Keegan Bradley. Okay. This is like, I've wanted to do this. There's nothing in my life I've wanted to do more than do this Mount Rushmore, but I can't, and Hank's going to do it. I can't pick myself. I don't know what Max is doing. He's very distracting. He's walking around. I'm panicking. I'm panicking. Okay. Okay. It is the Mount Rushmore of worst favors to be asked of you. Right? Yep. Worst favors to be asked. So worst favors to basically be asked in life. And Zach and I are first. You guys are second. Yep. And then memes and Max are third and coming around with the snake.

37:02All right, here we go. Worst favors to be asked. R1-1. In my mind, there's two really good picks at the top of this, but this is one that I really, I still hate to this day, and it gets asked a lot. Picking someone up at the airport. Ooh. And I know this is a point of contention. It was a point of contention online, I think, maybe a few months ago. People were debating it. Obviously, if you live in a small city, it's not a big deal. If you live in a big city, getting asked to pick someone up from the airport is fucking torture. It can be a pain in the ass, yeah. We have Ubers for a reason. It's like, hey, instead of me having to commute from the airport in an Uber, why don't you give up two and a half hours of your day to go there and back?

37:48It's a classic favor that you offer as an empty promise, and then say, no, I'll just take a cab. I don't even offer anymore. And I don't even offer to take to the airport, too, when the trip's over. I'm just, I offer, the farthest I offer is, I'll take you to the L. I'll take you to the blue line. You're like Derek Jeter. Here's a gift basket. Yeah. If they, in Chicago, I mean, Chicago airport's brutal with the highway construction. But New York was brutal. Yeah, New York was brutal, too. I don't even have a car. But if they land after like 9 o 'clock and it's like, you know, it actually is 30 minutes there, 30 minutes back, that's the only way.

38:20Yeah. You know what? And as a passenger, I kind of like having that ride to myself. Yeah. You like your thoughts. You had shitty Wi-Fi on the plane. Now you get to sit in an Uber, get to check up on everything. Yeah. Like your thoughts. Yeah, I agree. All right. That's our first pick. All right, Hank. We are going to go. Don't screw this up. With helping you move. Asking to help you move. Yep. That's classic. That's a good pick, Hank. Great pick. Brutal favor to be asked. And it's probably someone that you're close. If you're going to ask someone to help you move, you're very close to them. So it's tough to say no because you're close to them.

38:53But there's nothing worse. Yeah. Hey, do you want to work out all day and get really sweaty? And then just after we're done working out, you can just sit in my house that doesn't have anything set up? That's basically what you're asking someone. Yeah. Oh, hey, don't worry, dude. I'll get us a six pack of beer. And pizza. Yeah. We got pizza coming. Just you're an adult. If I was paying for this, I'd pay the people helping me like 500 bucks. Correct. But, oh yeah, I'll get you some pizza. Yeah, yeah. Right. If I actually - I owe you one. Yeah. You're an adult. Go do the adult thing and hire movers if you have that much stuff to move.

39:27Yeah. Hey, you want to help me move and then we can eat pizza on the floor? Because you know what it is about moving too? It's always more than you think. Yep. You look in your house and you say, oh, there's not that much stuff. there's so much shit in your apartment or house that just like when you actually like take it like you think about the plates and all that shit and like the closets everything just it's so much we only have really one flight of stairs not counting the stairs that go up into the house and it's only like probably five or six stairs we don't have anything heavy yeah yeah right yeah don't worry we can do this it won't take like an hour or two uh okay memes and max are up max is not here.

40:08He is here. Great pick, Hank. Memes, are you going to take Queen Latifah at any point? No, I still love her. Okay. Watch this Queen Latifah movie with me. Yeah, that movie. That's a bad favor to be asked. Asking for a loan or somebody looking to borrow money? Yeah. Okay. Good pick. And can you babysit for me? Can you watch my kids or dog? That's something that you and Max have been asked a lot? Wait, no, no. No, you can't do both, right? I asked memes one time. Dog or babysit? Is it the same thing? Totally different. PFT references his dog as his kid. Kids. No, I have a kid, Chris. Yeah. And then my dog, Blake.

40:51Yeah. But you can't - I asked him to watch him. His dog's kind of fun. It's definitely kids. Yeah, kids. Okay. Kids. All right. Max, way to clean it up for memes there. Memes, are you feeling a little nervous that Max had to step in there? No, I think both. Should be it. Okay. All right, you guys are up. Let's go, Hank. What do you think? This is the draft. This is the season. This is a huge pick. You go. You got this. No, Hank, you have the ball. I don't want the ball.

41:30we're gonna go with asking to stay at your place for an extended period of time oh okay great pick good one great pick can I crash with you even now like it's it's always when you're talking to your friends you don't live in the same city they're like oh yeah I'll come stay with you they're like great and then when it even like week of or leading up to you're like I actually don't want to just have someone staying with me if it's one two days no problem if they're like coming for work or like oh yeah i'll stay with you for the week and then we'll hang out on the weekend it's like oh yeah they're coming for six days like that's a lot yeah i'll be clean i'll clean up after myself they never do one time i i let somebody stay at my place in austin because they were in town for a concert for like south by southwest didn't really know the person that well like an old old high school friend came back to my house one time they had people over yeah they had like six people over at the house commanded the tv i couldn't even watch my own tv it's and it's it this is a if you're you know college recently graduated college totally understand it there was a there was a phase in your life oh yeah you're like 23 24 like i want my friends to stay this is fun we're just gonna kick it all weekend once you become a little bit more of an adult it's like dude can you just get a hotel we'll both be happier like we both will have a way better time where you have your space i have my space we hang out all weekend big time yeah big time uh okay zach i think we got to go with seven what do you think seven is good okay um

43:14Oh, or... Okay. Or 14. We really shouldn't overthink this. What are your thoughts on 12? But we'd like to finish second. 12. 12. No, I think that's a little niche, Zach. Okay. I think it's a little niche. All good. We can maybe get to that in honorable mentions. Okay. But I think that's a little niche. Okay. Do you want me to just take the ball and go? You got the ball here. Yes, sir. All right. How about when anyone asks For you to lie for them When they're like Hey say I was here Hey don't tell If your girlfriend or significant other Ask my girlfriend or significant other Just say we were doing this It's like come on man Kind of a different story when it's parents though Yeah yeah yeah but this is more like Like lie to a peer Come on Why are you putting me in this spot I can't say no, but I also don't want to be like, now I have to lie to my significant other.

44:09So can you, can you cut like live live for me? Cover for me. Yeah. Cover for me. Yeah. Can you cover for me with a lie? That's our answer. All right. And then let's go with, this doesn't happen to us because we don't have these, but I think it happens to everyone who has it. can I borrow your truck? Yep. I think every truck owner probably has to deal with this. If they have a pickup truck, you're basically a big billboard in your entire neighborhood being like, hey, if you need to go to Home Depot to get something, just ask me and I'll do it for you. Yeah. Well, so I used to have a truck and that quickly turned into, can you also help me move with your truck?

44:51So it was like a double whammy for me. Yeah. Yeah. So I think owning a truck that we're truck guys. Yeah. But just let's normalize not asking the people with the sweet shit. You know what? Go buy your own Chevy Silverado. You know what, though? As a multi-time truck owner, you kind of feel like a man when one of your friends is like, hey, can I borrow your sweet truck? Yeah. Oh, you don't have a truck? You can't really - Like me? It's like most of these are favors where you really can't say no, and you feel like you're a shithead. Yeah. No one's really ever asked to borrow the El Camino, which is technically a truck.

45:24You want me to do it sometime? I mean, you don't want that. I'll do it I live quite freely just parking it wherever I want knowing that no one's going to be able to start it if you get this thing turned on good luck driving it away but if you would like me to I will ask at some point to borrow it and you can say no I'll say no it is powerful but then it's been asked you guys are up can I say Zach's a niche one that was honorable mention say it because it's crazy for honorable mention yeah I just want to say it now because it's on top of my mind but I'll say just make a note yeah hank i highlighted the one that i think would be a strong choice all right we're gonna go similar thing you can't you feel you really can't say no to this but you never want to do it uh write a letter of recommendation yes we had it yep dude especially when you just don't know the person when someone asks hey can you write my kid a letter of recommendation it's like i've met your kid like twice yeah i just i just lie the entire time in a letter like i say just the nicest thing no matter who asked me to do it i've never said no to this favor i probably never will um but yeah you just you just write the most glowing endorsement that you can what little life hack because i've done it a few times and been asked a few times i just say yeah you write it i'll sign it yeah it's a good way to do it just like do that but still you know that your your name is now vouching for someone yeah but nobody there's never any blowback on the person that writes the letter of recommendation yeah right like if you actually let's say it's a hiring circumstance and you're asked to contact or send a letter to like this company no one's ever going to go back to you later and be like yo what the fuck why'd you write this letter if they ask you to like vouch for a friend that's when it's that's when it becomes a problem yep okay good pick hank great job hank thanks our third pick uh can you cover my shift okay i'm currently doing that for max right now oh max you shithead no no no he like people have reasons but like college football's on tonight want to watch college football by god cover shift now pulling stuff like that but like when you work in the restaurant industry somebody's like oh you have the early shift so i could go out at night and get fucked up or something and your day's just like your production but then you just do content that type of thing no call no show one of those things it's not it's not describing me okay no no yeah that's no general like that's a relatable thing yeah all right our final pick can you be the designated driver oh okay yeah i mean ubers was like ubers 15 years ago it's also one you're gonna say no you can also say yes and then drink your way out of it and be like well i can't do it yeah sorry something happened something came up i had to have eight beers i think the better pick there would have been can you switch seats with me after you crash your car right like that would be a terrible favor to be asked yeah no being a designated driver's bad okay it's bad no it's good it's good it's really good but it's a bad favorite memes i think it's a great favorite ask somebody because you're being responsible.

48:38Yeah. And you're planning your night out. You're saving lives. It's not a bad favor. It's a great favor. No, it's a bad favor to be asked. No, because you're showing that you're like, take this seriously. You're saving lives. Yeah. Download the Uber. You're before a first responder. Okay. We are going to go with one that seems simple, but always kind of stresses you out a little bit. Can I borrow your charger? Good pick. You're never getting that back. good pick and it's like someone you like big cat if I have to borrow a charger I can always tell he's like he wants to say no yeah because you sometimes don't bring it back that's a fact but that's everyone when someone asks me it's the same thing it's like I guess but also no you can't say no to it because it's a minor thing but you want to did either of you boys grab the charger from the cabin at Camp Barstool that I left nope god damn it can I say I had to do the thing where you buy a charger in the airport so I bought one in the airport because I didn't have my one that I left in the cabin then i go to new jersey then rossini shows up to the concert she's like my phone's on empty can i borrow your charger i'll give it back i gave her my charger she had a brick that was ready to plug into she didn't even need my charger damn she asked for it just walked off with it walked off with it can i say that uh memes i agree with you about rossini now a super a super classy move that i think this is just a level of wealth that uh just exists but i stated dave our boss's house in saratoga he just has a charger in every room like the bedroom i stayed in already had a charger in it that's what i did it's like so i i was like holy shit this is incredible when i in every room i looked there was a charger when i'm yeah i mean rich guy power moves would be a good good but i also think he does the thing where he just has wardrobes at all of his houses yeah he doesn't pack yeah like that's that's a level of wealth yeah when i moved to this new place i put a new charger in each bedroom the two like guest bedrooms and then now those bedrooms don't have any chargers because I've borrowed those chargers from those rooms and now they're gone.

50:40Yeah. That's brutal. Zach, should we do the... I mean, this is... Do you like two? I like two because it is the worst favor you could ever be asked but I don't know if any of us hopefully will ever be in this situation but should we say it? Hopefully not but we would like to take hide this gun. Yeah, hide this gun. That's just you don't want to be asked that. We had borrow your gun on the list. your gun. Can I borrow your gun? Bar your gun's also bad. But hide this gun. We had hide a dead body. Yeah, we had hide the body. Hide that body is, I feel like you can be like, no, I'm going to call the cops.

51:15Hide this gun. You're like, I don't know what this is about, but I feel like that's the same thing. No. PFT says hide a body. Hiding a body? If body's worse than gun. Dude, a body? Are we talking the same thing right now? For my people? It's the same thing. PFT says hide a body. What do you do? Okay. What do you do, Max? You wouldn't hide a gun to your head? No, low-key I've hidden a gun before. What? This is a crazy story. I don't even know if I've explained. Look at Max's face. My mom is going to be shook right now. So when I was in film school, I lived in Walt Ham. I had a room inside of a house, and like I had a bathroom so it was like a one bedroom little kitchen in a bathroom so I was secluded I could just go in this room and be separate from the people in this house and when my mom looked at it she like I guess looked up the the the history or if there was like people that lived there with crimes signed moved in and then she realized after we moved in like she typed in the wrong number of the house and like there was a guy that lived there it was all just public drunkenness like he kind of looked like a homeless guy but he was he lived in the house and like i would walk in sometimes i was like oh what's that smell that smells weird it was crack like i literally was like i that's what crack smells like so i was living in more or less a crack house or like in a house where some guy was smoking crack crack house yeah then like halfway through another guy moved in next door straight out of jail we were boys good dude we would hang out drink beer sometimes whatever one day i'm in my room and like he would you know he just come over we'd hang out no big deal one day the a bunch of cops show up at our house and the guy that lived next door that just got out of jail comes running into my room and was like i need to hide this in your room what the fuck i was like are they coming for you he's like no i don't know what's going on the cops were just coming for the other guy so it wasn't like it wasn't a thing where they were looking for the gun it wasn't a murder weapon it was just he was He's just like, he's like, I'm not going back to jail.

53:27I don't know why these guys are here, but I got to put this in here. But we don't know that it wasn't used in a murder. Correct. No, we don't. We do not. But yeah, that was, and we were relatively friendly at the time. I was like, yeah, no, I guess I accepted it. I hid the gun. And then you gave it back? I never touched it. He just came in, kind of hit it in my place, went back. The cops came, took the other guy out. So once they saw they were coming for the other guy and it was just like for like a public drunkenness or something. Guy was a good guy. Jimmy. It wasn't a big deal. But yeah, it was quite a house.

54:07Quite a living situation. Kind of a power move so that from that point on you know that he has a gun. Oh, I knew he had a gun. Yeah. He would just come over and tell me jail stories and like he really romanticized jail. Like one time he was like, I'll never forget it. He was like telling funny stories. He's like, yeah. He's like, I'm not going to lie. like i kind of had boys in jail yeah he's like jail was kind of fun he's like all the we'd all come together mess with the guards like everyone you know different days different guys and mess with the guards i was like this sounds fun it's kind of like high school he's like i'm not gonna lie he's like i had boys in jail and i i was dying laughing i was like yeah so hank hit a gun yeah and apparently this makes this actually a somewhat relatable favor yeah and i was too much of a pussy to be like no and like if i said no what was he what was what was gonna happen i was just None of us have been asked to hide a dead body.

54:56Zach, I'm going to double check with you. No, sir. No dead bodies. Have you ever been asked to hide a gun? No gun. Okay. Are you sure? Yes. Okay. All right. That was good Mount Rushmore. You want to hear Zach's honorable mention? Tell me what you guys think if we had taken this with, I think you, did he say he wanted it for the second pick? Our second pick? Second pick. Help mulch. Okay. Mulch is here? helping somebody mulch in the heat of summer it's 103 degrees outside it's like grab the snow shovels get the trailer we're going to mulch like we're going to the surplus spot let's go dump this mulch and they never have one of the trailers that dump it's always shovel work i just think that's a good bit you got to help them because that's a good pick you do get very dirty when you work with mulch yes it gets everywhere and it's in it's kind of the same vein of like it's just like we'll we'll grab a beer after this but it was eight hours of mulching most yard work is a terrible favor like doing the hedges you guys ever do the hedges yeah that's that's like a chore yeah shoulders brutal yeah um we had uh let me get a hit of your vape yeah bad favor can you get the drugs yeah that's just always like an annoying thing where it's like dude you're just being a pussy yeah uh will you go on my podcast yeah yeah uh what about oh i this was zach's one that i liked uh when anyone asked for the wi-fi password and it's super long yep that's it that's a really good one yeah uh also just i didn't we didn't know how to phrase this because it's kind of like a feel thing but just being asked to get anything for someone the minute you sit down yeah can you grab my can you grab me a water can you do this like right after you sat down Right after you get comfortable.

56:38Yeah. Switch seats on a plane. That's annoying. Especially if it's a downgrade. Yep. You go to the middle seat. When someone asks you if you can be a wingman on a date with somebody that you really don't like. Yep. No interest in. Yep. Can you get me a job? Yeah. At a bar school? Yeah. Yeah. Can you save me a seat at a crowded bar? Yes. Where you have to be like, sorry, somebody's sitting. They're not here yet, but they're going to be here. Can you hold my place in line as well? Yeah, that's a bad one. Can you watch my stuff at an airport? I know that's not a bad favor, but I also... So I'm not talking about if we were in the airport together, because we are sitting and we're traveling together.

57:25But that moment when... I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but you're sitting across from a stranger, and maybe it's more like coffee shop, and they're like, hey can you just watch my laptop while i go to the bathroom yep asking to borrow a laptop too sucks because it's like your it's like not really yeah all your shit's on there yeah but the the one i'm talking about is like if you play it out in your head if someone came and took a total stranger's laptop that you've been asked to watch i would not step in no i would not say anything no i would wait for the person to get back be like yeah some guy took it yeah yeah it's like I can describe.

57:59I'm not defending your laptop, dude. Oh, should have. Can you do you mind switching seats with me on a plane? That's what I just said. Yeah. Sorry. I was looking for my roommate picture. No, that's okay. Will you be godparents? Oh, it's like I like that one. It feels good. It's an honor. It's an honor, but also like, hey, it could be a big responsibility. Yeah. I have a very specific one. My kids are in a certain age where they're obviously two out of three of them are out of diapers, but it's a process, but can you wipe my butt? It's not fun. They get asked it, I don't know, two, three times a day.

58:35One time I asked Grant Hill if he could wipe my butt. He's my preschool teacher. Yeah. Yeah. All right. What about when Johnny Sacks asks you to sack little Carmine's little helper cousin, and it's during his wedding when you should be asking him for a favor? That's a good one. Yeah. That's a good one. Also, this is probably specific to us. when people ask us like for tickets and we're like we don't have we don't have like hookups yeah it's like we we actually do buy most of our tickets how about you guys there's somebody that that will always ask me for uh san francisco 49ers tickets when they're traveling to san francisco yeah but they're like and if you can make it that'd be awesome yeah it's like i don't i don't live in california and like yeah we interviewed kyle shanahan but i don't have his phone number Yeah, let me hit up Kyle real quick.

59:25Yeah, let me just text him and see if he can get you tickets. All right. I think that was a really good Mount Rushmore. What if when a country asks you if you can sell them billions of dollars in weapons to fund their war, and you have to act like, oh, I'm not part of it, but here's all my ammunition. Yeah. That's a bad favor. That's a bad favor for sure. Okay, so we'll see what happens. A duel will happen if PFT and Hank finish first, Zach and I finish second, and Max and Means finish third. not that we're influencing the vote. Nope, we're just laying it out for the AWLs. And I would love a duel.

1:00:00I'll just say it. What does Kornacki say about this, Max? I got Big Cat and Zach. Yeah, I don't feel good about it. Letter of recommendation. How many of those are you right? That was us. Yeah, I know, but I think that'll drop you down to two. Oh, you're a hater. Big Cat and Zach was really good. Yeah, it was. Borrow your truck is just an alternate of moving. Yeah. Yeah, we're in trouble. We'll see. We'll see. Well, I hope we're good enough to get second. That'd be nice. All right, let's get to our interviews before we get to brand. Now, at McDonald's, wake up to a$4 breakfast meal deal. Wake up to a sausage McMuffin or a sausage biscuit, to hash browns, and wake up to a hot coffee.

1:00:43Get your$4 breakfast meal deal. Limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher for delivery. okay it's time our mega college football preview with our two very special guests it is tom for our good friend and uh brandon walker reigning college football expert on the part of my take podcast not our good friend but he is the reigning college football expert on the part of my take podcast. Brandon, you've been bitching and moaning about not getting anything for beating Tom in the pickoff last year, so here is your thing. The floor is yours first. We sat here last year on this couch.

1:01:26You had a competition. You told me, you promised me last year, you can be on PMT. You're going to be our expert. I walked in. You had this guy sitting there as a surprise. Ha ha, funny. Yay. Everybody got to laugh. Anyway, we had a competition on that show. I won it handily i mean handily and we haven't mentioned it for 365 days until this moment right now so is it like by two points handily yeah no it was not hand it was handily he is correct that we haven't mentioned it right do you think people wanted us to mention it i thought that's what the competition was for that i actually won something and we did i just introduced you yeah but i thought i would be referred to on pmt multiple times is that not just the next time we did it we did talk about the experts being trivia champions right we did yeah yeah and and i carried us to that no and i and i i'll be honest with you the pomp and circumstance the parade all that stuff that is kept for when tom wins this right i feel like i feel like this whole thing was just a sham to hold over my head just in case i lost we didn't expect you to win it the first year i'm still waiting for you to fucking thank me i'm the one who got you on the show to begin with i don't think so that's a good point i was the one who contacted dan and said we should have brandon on That just can't be what happened.

1:02:37That is. Tom invited you on the show. He's like, hey. They've never invited you on this show. So you're their guest and I'm your guest? Yeah. Yeah, we gave Tom a plus one. Tom, do you have any questions for your guest? Do you put out on the second date? I won the first date. I won. No, I won the first date. I won. No, I think Tom was the better guest. I don't think so. I did a hell of a job that day. I have seen upwards of five tweets asking for Brandon to be back on the show. Yeah, that's true. Well, I think they assume I'm going to be. I was the reigning PMT college football expert. Yeah. I think I was here on bowl season, but it was brief.

1:03:13Okay. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I don't really have – Mississippi State's only appearance in bowl season was Brandon on this show. We're going to be better this year, brother. Better how? Better. Better. Better in football. How many better? Not that many because the schedule is tough. Schedule is very tough. Do you have to go to your second hand to count how much better? I'll just use the one for now, but I think we're getting further along that hand. I like that you checked that to make sure. Do I have six fingers? No, we're getting further along that hand. Okay, all right, so let's get into it. Let's just start where you guys want to start.

1:03:48You want to start at SEC? You know what? You get to decide where you want to start, Brandon, because you are the reigning college football expert on part of my take. I want to start with a take that I have put out there and everybody seems to be allergic to. that when you pick a Texas to win the national title, everybody's fine. When you pick an Ohio State to win the national title, everybody's fine. I have picked Penn State to win the national title. And all I have gotten is James Franklin can never win it. They'll never do it. They're just a joke. They'll lose to Ohio State like they always do.

1:04:17I think it's the most complete team. I think the quarterback is fantastic. And I think it doesn't matter that the coach has never broken through. It only matters if he can do it. I believe he can do it. And what do you think about that? I do not give a fuck about James Franklin's record in games against top five teams. Fair enough. I don't think that matters at all. Can't win the big one, though. He hasn't won the big one. But you know who hadn't won the big one? Ryan Day hadn't proven he could win a national title. Tommy Fleetwood, yeah. Kirby Smart hadn't proven he could win the big one. He couldn't beat Alabama forever.

1:04:46Dabo Sweeney had never proven it until he proved it. You never break through until you break through. I think they can do it. Penn State's not Georgia, though. Penn State's pretty loaded. And they're not. They're pretty loaded. Does Penn State have the dudes that Georgia has? Not the dudes that they had on the 2021-2022 National Championship. Yeah, we're doing a dude off. But I think they have as many dudes as anybody has this year. Let me ask you a question about Penn State. Yeah. And either of you can answer it. I believe in Penn State. I think they'll be very good. Aller's a good quarterback.

1:05:14I like that he came back. Oh, Tom, maybe not. Just look at Drew Aller's stats against good teams. Yeah, yeah, all right. Tell me if you still think he's a good team. But that's exactly what you said about James Franklin. But hold on. James Franklin's not playing. The player is who matters. So it doesn't matter against good teams when it's a coach, but it does with a player. Yes. When Penn State needs a big play, will they be doing a bubble screen to a wide receiver? So last year. That's my only question about Penn State. Yeah. Last year they had two great running backs and a great tight end. They threw the tight end often.

1:05:48The receivers were garbage. And the receivers being garbage showed up the most when they were playing elite secondaries like Ohio State and Notre Dame. You need a dude. You need a dude. They didn't have any. They went out and got dudes at receivers. They got Pena from Syracuse. They got Kyron Hudson from USC. That is a dude and a half. And I think that's going to make the biggest difference this year. He actually has – this is the first time in his career, four years, that he's had dude receivers to throw to. Okay. If Penn State wins the national title this year, I don't think it's a tremendous upset.

1:06:18What I think is completely overlooked is you talked about all the guys they have coming back. And I think that in this year where there's a lot of teams is that we don't really have a lot of new quarterbacks, new offensive and defensive linemen, all that shit going on. We're kind of overrating the returning experience. And the thing I would point out is, yeah, Penn State has a lot coming back. But you know what they don't have? Their best player on their offense last year or their best player on their defense last year. So those are two significant pieces that they have to replace in Tyler Warren and Abdul Carter.

1:06:46That said, they can win the Big Ten. Their schedule is very easy. In fact, if they aren't in the Big Ten championship, something went very fucking wrong. Yeah, their toughest game is going to Ohio State. Yeah. I think their quarterback coming back for a fourth year and being a three-year starter now is a big deal that can offset the loss of the tight end. And again, Hudson, I think he can equal the receiving threat that Tyler Warren was. He could, but I don't think that's likely. And yeah, they lost their best defensive player. I also think they massively upgraded a defensive coordinator. That is a very good point.

1:07:18Yeah. This is a huge upgrade. I definitely think they – He can win the big one. There are so many. He did last year. With Texas, with Ohio State, with Alabama, with Georgia, with all the other big teams, they're all replacing quarterbacks. Ohio State's replacing so much on defense. They all tick down a little bit, and that allows a Clemson and a Penn State to tick up. And really, to me, Penn State's the national champ. Okay, so since we started with Penn State, let's stay in the Big Ten. Ohio State, they obviously – Julian's saying who's, what, a redshirt freshman. That's right. but he also has an incredible receiving core and maybe the best player in all college football and Jeremiah Smith.

1:07:56Do you think that that receiving core makes it like, Hey, he doesn't have to be incredible. He's going to have guys open because it's Ohio state and they'll be just fine. I think to a degree, because I think of how Will Howard looked at Kansas state. And then I think of how Will Howard looked at Ohio state looked a lot different when you have all those guys to throw to. But I also think that if you look at the way that they work, They are so talented on both sides of the ball that Julian's saying to me is – my concern is he's not that big. And if he's taking hits and he gets hurt, then you've got to go to Lincoln Kineholz, who the good news is at least the competition seemed to be close all fall going in.

1:08:35I think they were on. That could be bad news too. What's his backup quarterback's name? I will say, you hear like Lincoln Kineholz. That is the most Ohio State quarterback name I've ever heard in my life. But you hear whispers like when these competitions are going on. It's like, well, it's a good competition because the backup's just playing well, or it's a competition because the starter, the guy that we want to win, is not playing well. From what I've heard, Ohio State was because they were both playing well. So it was making the decision more difficult. And also Ryan Day is also kind of always a little ambiguous about his quarterback going in.

1:09:04But if I look at Ohio State, I still see the team that is going to be the most talented team on the field pretty much every Saturday they go out there. Not as overwhelming a talented advantage as they had last year, and they still managed to lose two games, and that was with a senior. Called load management. That's what we do now. That's not called load management. Now that all you guys got your playoff expansion and losses don't matter anymore. Ryan Day literally pretty much said to us it was load management. He didn't say it, but he read the team alive. You don't load management. Michigan game, no.

1:09:31No, they didn't lose Michigan because of it. And they didn't lose Oregon because of it either. The way they went about the regular season, they were planning for the long run. No, he was giving Oregon and Michigan everything he had. His ego lost in the Michigan game. Yeah, and Michigan gave them everything they had that game. Tell me about the quarterback coming out of high school. What were his stars like? Sagan? Yeah. Five. Five stars. He was in Alabama, number one quarterback. He was in Alabama for like two weeks. Yeah, but Nick Saban wanted him is really what people are going for. Okay. I mean, it does seem to me like I would rather have an average quarterback with the best wide receivers in college football than the other way.

1:10:07Like have the best quarterback and then average wide receivers. Yes, like a great quarterback can elevate mediocre receivers, but like great receivers can also elevate a mediocre quarterback. So I think it goes both ways and having Jeremiah Smith and then, you know, Carnell Tate is another very good receiver who rarely gets discussed because of Jeremiah Smith's existence. And last year they still had a Mecca Agbuka, but he is another number two for them who would probably be the number one at 90 percent of the teams in the country. So they're going to be stacked. They're going to be loaded. And they've added Max Clare at tight end.

1:10:36and he's coming for Purdue and if you look at Ohio State over the recent years even when they've been really good they've had good tight ends but they haven't had like a Tyler Warren kind of tight end Max Clare is a Tyler Warren kind of tight end so he's going to have free reign over the middle of the field because defenses are going to be worried about Smith and Tate on the outside so I think he's going to have a huge season and they're just going to be even more difficult to stop offensively this year than I think they were last year and last year worked out pretty well who's going to win the game on Saturday I think Texas I think Ohio State okay so So when we come into this game and you have, yes, best receivers in the country, there's no doubt about that.

1:11:12Offensive line took a lot of lumps last year because of injury. They'll be better. Running backs just kind of reload there. Like I'm fine with all that. But if I'm looking at Arch Manning taking over the Texas offense and some things they've got to replace and Ohio State having to replace the quarterback and everything, the surest unit out of all four units to me is the Texas defense. I feel like they're going to be ahead of everybody. They're bringing back the most – they all got star power. So we're talking about five stars across the board, but they bring back the most proven commodities. I think that unit will be ahead of the other three units, and they win a close game on Saturday.

1:11:43It's throwing darts at a board, though. It's at, like, what, a two-and-a-half point spread? Yeah, one-and-a-half. Oh, it's down to one-and-a-half? Yeah, yeah. Really? Okay, well, I've got to get on my phone here in a minute. But just, like, you mentioned that, but I look at Texas, and all the things we say about Ohio State as far as question marks are all the exact same questions we have about Texas, but the game's being played in Columbus. Now, I know you guys can't go. No. but a lot of Ohio State fans will be there. So it's just, it's, I think playing on the road for Arch Manning, I don't think the hype around him is solely based on his name, although I don't think that has helped him very much because Manning.

1:12:16But he's a very talented player, like saying, a five-star quarterback coming out of high school. He hasn't been a full-time starter yet, but you're going on the road and you're playing in a really difficult environment. And it's the first fucking game of the year, so you aren't really in any kind of rhythm. So in a game that I expect to be close, I wouldn't be shocked if Texas gets off to a slow start, and it's just too much of a hole for them to dig out. If we ever figure out, why did Arch not go to Ole Miss? Oh, probably because he's a good person? Yeah. Yeah, or, I mean, Texas offered more money.

1:12:43Yeah. I just want to tee Brandon up. That's what we do for our current guests here. Also, no, I will say, if you're Manning, it's not like you're in desperate need of money. Yeah. You know, you're doing pretty well. So if your concern is getting to the NFL and getting the kind of coaching and all that kind of stuff you want, You also want to sit for a while to learn and develop. Texas was kind of a better choice for you in that aspect. And also, I think just making your own legacy somewhere. It's kind of why Peyton went to Tennessee. Right. Not having to live in the shadows. Plays in your own path.

1:13:12It kind of grows in that family. I give Stark a lot of credit for what he did last year because everybody wanted Arch to play by the end of the year. There were some question marks with Quinn Ewers. It was like, okay, we know what he can do, but we don't think that he's the guy that's going to be able to take us out of the way. And I think he told Quinn, like, hey, yeah, we're getting Arch in just so you know your job is safe. I'm not going to screw that around. I'm not going to sell you a bill of goods and then bench you once things start to go bad. I like what he did showing the rest of the team, like, hey, I will keep my word to you guys, even if it's kind of to the detriment of the team.

1:13:44Well, Arch also started two games, right? He started a couple games through the injury, and then he came in. I think he came in a couple games down the stretch. like he was probably solid but it was clear he wasn't ready to be the guy and Quinn you had the fourth year senior whatever he was uh I think it was easier to start to go back to him than than maybe we thought it was yeah you're still you were still operating with a somewhat limited playbook with arch last year than you were because like you would see when arch did come in for those two games it was a very very kind of just five or six plays way more running yeah and there's a lot more running in it but as far as the passing game they were much more limited in what they were doing just because Arch wasn't really ready for it yet.

1:14:22I don't like how fast Arch Manning is. For a white guy, it's kind of off. Manning should not be that fast. No. But have you seen his Manning face? Yeah. Is it good? Pretty good. It's pretty good. We got a new crop. All right, so sticking to Big Ten, Oregon number three, although I don't know about Dante Moore. We haven't seen him since two years ago, and it was not good. I think this is the team that people are just assuming is going to be top ten because of their recruiting profile over multiple years, but they're kind of starting over. There's a lot of new guys here. And the schedule is sneaky tough.

1:14:52That last game at Washington, I think Oregon, you can fuck around and look up and they're like 9-3 or 8-4 and wouldn't be shocked. I have Oregon as the third best team in the Big Ten, but I feel like it's more about questions about who the fourth best team is. So give us Illinois in the conversation. Illinois is in the conversation. Indiana is in the conversation. Michigan, USC, Iowa, Nebraska, Washington. There's like 15 different teams in that league who could be the fourth best team this year, I think. But with Oregon, I also feel like we're at a situation where we know Drew Aller is going to be the quarterback at Penn State.

1:15:22Julian Sane will be the quarterback at Ohio State. And Dante Moore is the starter. But there's a kid behind him in Austin Novosad who Oregon really likes who we've seen Dante Moore play. He started at UCLA as a freshman. He was a freshman. He looked like shit sometimes. He looked okay at others. But if he's shaky to start, I wouldn't be shocked if by the time that Penn State game rolls around that Novosad is the starter for them. So that's going to be an interesting situation to watch. and I also think Oregon's going to be kind of flipped on its head in that you mentioned like Lanning's been there they've recruited very well since he showed up and this is going to be the year where those kids finally start really having the major impact whereas the last few years they've been reliant on transfers and like 24 year olds they don't have that anymore I think you're going to see a very defensive team that is probably going to be running the ball a lot more it's going to be like you know complimentary football but with five-star talent all right so you mentioned a few teams there.

1:16:11Illinois, Washington, USC, Michigan, Indiana, Nebraska. Of that group, who are you guys highest on? Maybe give us your two teams that you're highest on of that group because there is kind of a... Big Ten has some good density to it this year. So, heft. I released my playoff 12 and I got Nebraska in it. I think Nebraska is this year's Indiana in the fact that they will be better as a football team than they have been and their schedule is fantastic i think uh catching michigan at home in september if they come out of september 4-0 like no sure own more in that either i i think not that that makes a big deal uh i i think the nebraska is the team uh quarterback has to take a big step but he's going from his first year to his second year you you kind of assume that has to happen for a five star anyway uh i like nebraska i like the roster and his third year of matt rule everything to me adds up like look they got neutral side against cincinnati and they go at penn state is their toughest game.

1:17:08Yeah, but that's very late in the season. You can build up a 7-0, 8-0 start here, no problem. Can I throw out something that I didn't... Did you see Dylan Rayola's quote the other day? Is it about Patrick Mahomes? Yeah. He said, I can't get mad at God for making me look like him. He doesn't got it. It's a pure question. He literally just... He dresses like him. He acts like him. He's not making it. He was born that way. That's a red flag quote to me. Does it bother anybody that the expert has to look at the screen? Oh. Yeah, I told you. I'm working off the dome here. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1:17:39I'm just saying. I told you what the schedule was. You want to need a timeout? Did I lean? No, I don't need a timeout yet. I just leaned up to affirm what – because I couldn't remember it was Houston. Christian, right? Hey, you know what? Shout out to the guys in the booth for helping you out. That's very nice. All right, who's Nebraska's fifth game? Nebraska's fifth game? That would be Iowa. No, no, no. No, that's their last game. I don't know their fucking schedule. The fuck am I in it? Yeah. All right, so who of that group do you like, Tom?

1:18:05temple won 10 games the next year he was seven and six at baylor won 11 games a third year and he went seven and six last year with nebraska so history suggests we're going to see a leap forward whether it'll be enough i don't know but the schedule works in the favor they have the five star quarterback the defense we'll see it could be nebraska overs might be a thing we're leaning into all season long i like that i like illinois i think their floor is good i don't know if the ceiling is quite as high as what we saw last year because they do lose their top two receivers and that's difficult to replace for anybody but for Illinois a program that has not exactly been wide receiver you over the years like there's there's nobody that's truly emerged as the alpha and I think you have to have an alpha before you can be overly confident but having a third year starter in Luke Altmaier is good having your entire offensive line back is good and their defensive line will be one of the better units in the Big Ten again so there's a high floor but there are also tough road games for them at Indiana at Duke we'll see how it goes let me throw something at you real quick throw it on illinois altmeyer to me is a good solid quarterback but not the type of quarterback who is going to drag a mediocre receiving quarter to greatness like you described earlier like i think he's he's a solid guy but i don't see there's the ceiling isn't that high for him individually would you agree with that uh i think he could play his way into like a late round nfl draft pick like a fourth fifth sixth like yeah somewhere in the back end but it's also belem a ball yeah but he doesn't have to be but that's kind of misleading because they were not a running team last year.

1:19:26They threw it all over the place last year. This year we could see them lean more into the run game if a receiver doesn't emerge. But we're also going to see them more 12 personnel because they've got more tight ends. Well, you can't play 12 guys. It's only 11 allowed to play. That's very funny, Brad. Expert over here. Who's going to be this? How am I supposed to feel about Signetti this year? Because I'm going into this year. He's an asshole. Well, I had to be a defender of Signetti last year. Why? Because he left you. I know. I'll explain. I'll explain. You can call me a cuck after this if you still think that way.

1:19:55But my theory is that I'm going to be a stepping stone school no matter what at JMU. Right? Like coaches, if they get to the college football playoff, if they're winning the conference in the Sun Belt, they're going to get poached eventually by a big school, by a big state school. And that's what happened. I might as well want to be the best stepping stone that there is so you track the next guy up. Like Bob Chesney, great coach. Happy to get him on board. But he took also a lot of JMU's players last year, so I also felt like I was rooting for JMU in a power conference. That was fun. But now that's like one year removed.

1:20:30I think I have to be like, fuck this guy. He's no longer Duke. I think you should have done it last year because he took all your players. Yeah. He took your players and left you. You want to be the best stepping stone school. That includes having your players around for the next guy. And he took all your players, went to Indiana, played a softer schedule than you guys played last year, and acts like he's Steve Spurrier all of a sudden. He's an asshole. Well, he has to do that to get attention on Indiana. in it. That's what you have to do as a coach. I don't know if this has ever happened to any of you guys, but fun story about Kurt Signetti.

1:20:57I was in Vegas last month and I'm taking a piss at the stall. And all of a sudden, a guy pulls up next to me. It's Kurt Signetti. I don't know if you guys have ever had a celebrity piss next to you. Was he able to pee? No, I wasn't. He was. Strong flow. Very strong flow for a man. Tom, that's where you and I met. Was in the bathroom at Blogs with Balls? Yeah, I believe so. I think I was taking a leak and you were taking a leak next to me. I said, hey, I'm PFT commenter. and you're like holy shit good to meet you then we cross swords and it's been friendship ever since yeah her hands never done that who of that group in the big 10 is going to disappoint it could be indiana could be illinois oh it could be illinois i couldn't be yes it could and you know you know it could well to be fair you know what disappointment looks like oh but i know what pure fucking heartache looks like you ain't been where i've been you're gonna tell an illinois football fan he hasn't been where you've been listen we played in the bowl a couple years ago and i haven't even seen i don't even know what a bowl smells like who'd you beat in that bowl game we beat illinois exactly so you're gonna tell me i don't know what it's like to be on that you guys have been in bowls ever since i can't even my coach died you only get one more year for that by the way at least i get the one yeah so uh i just think with indiana like we saw with florida state last year when you build your team through the portal like that it's a lottery ticket a lot of the times and last year they caught you know they caught lightning it all worked out the schedule was great every single transfer hit they've got a lot of those guys back still but you're going back to the portal you've got a brand new quarterback in you brought in a new offensive lineman we saw at florida state if it doesn't work and shit goes south quick teams will check out like when you hire mercenaries mercenaries can only live to fight another day if they get the fuck off the field yeah i the only thing about that is i do think the profile of the transfer quarterback they got this year is even better than the one they got last year yeah but the one they got last year was very experienced and Mendoza and he played a week schedule this guy doesn't get to do that no but Mendoza Mendoza I think right now is far more projection than actual production I think people look at him they see the size they see the arm and they kind of start drooling on what he can be in the NFL I think at the college level there's still some kinks that need to be ironed out of his game that if you watched Cal closely last year there were good moments but there were also a lot of what the hell is he doing moments and now that Indiana is going be more in the spotlight, that could bite them.

1:23:14Back to Nebraska real quick. Dylan Rayola, just by just a pure vibe, gut reaction to having your leader dress up as another human being. I don't like it. I don't really like it. No, I don't like it. It's like a tribute band. It could be fun to check out. But at least he's - Like Brandon last year when - This is doing Patrick Mahomes and not Tyrod Taylor. Don't say God made you that way. You're doing his celebrations. You're doing his warmups. When Desmond Watson cosplayed as you last year, how'd you feel about that? That was good. You're talking about the really, really fat guy? The guy that didn't make the Bucs, yeah.

1:23:43Because he's so fat. You also get upset about not making enough Bucs. Did you forget who he was the minute he went to the NFL? No. That would be an awesome bit. I do sometimes. If a football player goes to the NFL and you're like, who's that? I do sometimes. Not my problem. He's 460 pounds. Who's Ken Ward? Yeah. All right. Want to go to SEC? Can we? We've been talking about the damn Big Ten the whole time. All right. Let's start with the SEC. All right. talk me off of Alabama to win the national title 10. I have no problem doing this. I did it last year. Last year I sat on this couch, and he really – Yeah, yeah, no, you were right.

1:24:16Jalen Milrow. Jalen Milrow. But this year Alabama fans are going with the narrative, yeah, well, Kalen DeBoer came here, and he had to start Jalen Milrow or he was going to lose the team, and that's why we were so bad. Well, Jalen Milrow took him to the playoff two years ago. He had an ability as a college quarterback to do it, and for whatever reason the coach doesn't fit Alabama. and to me now they're turning to a guy who has been there for four years and multiple coordinators and multiple head coaches have never believed in this guy never once have multiple coaches and multiple coordinators looked at Ty Simpson said that's our guy and now all of a sudden by default he's the last one standing and we're supposed to say oh wow everything that went wrong last year when they got boat raced by a bad Oklahoma they got beat by a mediocre Vanderbilt and they could should have lost to South Carolina like everything that went wrong last year is fixed because this new quarterback that nobody's ever believed in counterpoint not happening ryan grubb ryan grubb does make me feel what if he is the what if he is the kalen what if he is the the secret recipe yeah he's the recipe because he's followed kalen de boer everywhere he's gone he obviously wasn't there last year now he's back with him what if he's the offensive coordinator that we discussed it earlier when we were talking the big tent what can really great wide receivers do to an average quarterback they can lift him up right what does ty simpson have a really really good he has great receivers around him it's not like jeremiah smith grabbed all the attention but ryan williams is pretty fucking good too so he's only 17 years got plenty of weapons around him he's going to have a very strong offensive line and it's not like i i know that nick saban changed the format towards the end where it started becoming i've got nfl quarterbacks now so good fucking luck but they won plenty of national titles at alabama just with a game manager quarterback i don't think ty simpson needs to be anything spectacular he doesn't need to be first team all secs Saban ain't there anymore.

1:25:55Their defense is unbelievable. Nick Saban ain't there anymore. He just has to distribute the ball. And Kalen DeBoer and Ryan Grubb are very good at putting together an offense that teaches their quarterback how to distribute the ball. So he's going to be able to get it out, and he's going to let his receivers do all the work. They've got good running backs. They've got a good offensive line. Defensively, they're still going to be really, really good. I've got them reaching the SEC title game. I don't know if they can win the national title, but I don't know. There are so many questions about everybody that I feel like there are eight or ten different teams you can make a logistical, logical argument for winning a national title.

1:26:24And that's kind of how I did it because they were 10-1 where it's like, Ohio State's 6-1. Like, why would you want to bet the favorites when there are so many teams? I'm fair with that. I do think there's probably eight, nine, ten teams that can win it. And even in the SEC, probably four, five, six teams that can win the SEC. Like, I'm good with that. But to me, there were just so many bad signs in that first year. Kalen DeBoer goes to a national title game with Washington, switches to a roster that is loaded. They were loaded last year. I know they're loaded this year, but they were loaded last year.

1:26:49They were loaded last year. But Jalen Milrow couldn't make the throw. He didn't have Ryan Grubb. They were loaded last year, and Kalen DeBoer figured out a way to lose to Vanderbilt. I don't care anything going on in Alabama. You just can't let an Alabama roster lose to a Vanderbilt roster. Vanderbilt had the better quarterback that day. You can't do it. You can't lose to that roster. No, I'm not making an excuse for it. I'm just saying they had the better quarterback. You can't go to Norman, Oklahoma, and get beat by a mediocre team 24-3. Like, there's something. There's a disconnect. It takes a different kind of human to win in the SEC.

1:27:18I'm not saying a better coach or whatever. It takes a different kind of human, and I don't think Kalen DeBoer fits Alabama. Ryan Grubb is the connector. Maybe he – we've seen him succeed. We haven't seen him succeed in the SEC. I'm just betting on Ryan. You've got to be a borderline criminal to succeed in the SEC. But what do you say? He's on his deathbed. I ain't got – When you say you can't go to Alabama and lose to Vandy, they did. They did that last year. Right. And he's still the coach this year. I feel like there's going to be a lot more – If he's 9-3 this year, he's on the hot seat. You can't do that this year.

1:27:43You get one year to figure out the SEC. Agreed. For sure. But I also think part of it, too, just like you look at the kids on the roster, They've gone from Saban to DeBoer, who are two very different kind of personalities. I think kids were just trying to figure out what they can get away with last year. And maybe, like, DeBoer wasn't stepped at. If they were doing it year one, what's going to stop them doing year two? Substitute teacher energy. Yeah. But, well, it's the second year. He's still around. But if he couldn't lead them in year one, if they were trying to get away, if he had to go with the quarterback he didn't like because he didn't want to lose the team, what kind of leader is that?

1:28:12What kind of leader is that? James Franklin's past performances don't matter when you pick Penn State winning a national title. but one bad season for Kalen DeBoer who's had nothing but outstanding teams everywhere he's fucking in. There's no way he can lead a team. He was only in the national title game two years ago. How would you expect him to lead? Hold on. It's a fair point. It's a fair point, but Kalen DeBoer has never proven it in the SEC at all. James Franklin's proven it in multiple conferences. He's already won the Big Ten once, right? He won it in 2016. He has proven he can get to this level.

1:28:37He just can't open the door. Kalen DeBoer going to the SEC. The SEC is a different monster. I understand he did it at Washington. Alabama fan base and the The Alabama pressure is different, and it fucks people up. And it fucked him up last year. I think it's going to fuck him up again. Now he's not built for this shit. Now he knows what to expect. He had no idea what he was in. He's got Ryan Grubb. He's not built for this shit. He's got Ryan Grubb. Ryan Grubb is a fucking human shield. He will protect him from everything. You're going to stop with Ryan Grubb. Ryan Grubb will turn off the radio when he's listening to it, so he doesn't hear any of the shit he can talk.

1:29:04Kalen DeBoer ain't built for this shit. It is a nasty world. Kalen DeBoer is one of the best fucking football coaches in the country. That ain't what I said. He ain't built for this shit. Alabama is a fucking nightmare to coach at. Only somebody like Nick Saban could manage the expectations and the demands and all the fucking bullshit you got to deal with. Nick Saban's the greatest coach of all time. Agreed. Tom, they're supposed to be SEC. They're supposed to be SEC. I don't know that Kaelin DeBoer's SEC. I don't think he is. But is the SEC still the SEC? Yes. I don't know. Oh, shit. You're still competing against Kirby Smart.

1:29:35You're still competing against these motherfuckers down there. Change the cost. Change the cost of doing business. All right, Georgia. Gunnar Stockton. We're going to talk about Heisman at the end, but Gunnar Stockton is something I've been looking at. I'm going to shift back here. Okay. I just can't. Why did you shift in the first place? Because you shifted. Yeah, but I'm going to shift. I'm a shifter, and people know that. Do I buy the Gunnar Stockton stock? Not to win Heisman. No, I'm looking for – Listen, you're talking to the guys who had 40-1 Travis Hunter last year. Fair enough. You look like an idiot.

1:30:06I've never had more questions about Georgia under Kirby Smart than I have about them. But Travis Hunter, I knew. No, you tried to talk me out of Travis Hunter. I did. I said he's not going to be able to stay healthy, but he did. Yeah. He's 4-0. So Gunnar Stockton, are we saying? And Kalen DeBoer's not built for the SEC, but he will. Is Gunnar Stockton capable of leading this Georgia team, or is it, hey, he couldn't beat out Carson Beck, and Carson Beck stunk last year? I don't know. My biggest concern about Georgia, and it's not really a concern. It's just the question marks. Like we saw when they were winning the two national titles, they were the best team in the country by far.

1:30:41They were just able to rotate guys in and out along the lines of scrimmage because they were so fucking deep. But the one thing that the portal has done is a lot of the guys who used to be sitting on that second or third string of the depth chart have moved on to go start other places. So they don't have the same kind of depth that they've had. And now if you look at their offensive line last year, it was not nearly up to your typical Georgia standard. And the best part of that line was the interior of it, the two guards in their center. Those guys are gone. So you've got pretty much a brand new offensive line as far as experience is concerned.

1:31:11I mean, it's Georgia, so they're not going to suck there. But are they going to be elite? I don't know. And if you don't have an elite offensive line with Gunnar Stockton behind it, I just don't think the margin for error for the Bulldogs is nearly as small as it was before. I think that they could have problems. But when I say Georgia could have problems, I mean it could go 9-3. Right. I agree with all that. I'm not a big Georgia believer this year. And not only – the offensive line is a good point, but Carson Beck wore it last year, but the receivers and running backs were average as hell, and receivers were garbage.

1:31:40Yeah, they had no receivers. They were garbage. They led the country in drop passes. Carson Beck was bad in his own right. He had some – something was going on in his head or whatever. Now he's at Miami. I don't think Gunnar Stockton is the answer to fix all of that in one offseason. And I don't see an improved receiver room or running back room. To me, they're a solid 10-2, 9-3 team that can mess up somebody else in the SEC. but I don't see the national title contender I saw three years ago. 10-2 is – but if Georgia finishes 10-2, you're a playoff team, also where you should keep your hands on the wheel.

1:32:08Do they teach that at Georgia? No. Did you see Clemson suspended a guy for a game for DUI? I wonder what Kirby Smart was thinking when he saw that. At what point does it become like an actual issue that the team has to like force the guys to go to preventative driver's ed classes? I don't – I think there would have to be multiple like murders or something. At some point, Kirby Smart's not going to do anything, and George is not going to do anything to Kirby Smart as long as he's winning. It doesn't matter. Crimes don't matter if you're winning in the SEC. That's 100 % true. They don't. That's America.

1:32:39Crimes don't matter as long as you're winning. No, if you're winning in football, crimes do not matter. Yeah. What even is crime? Let's ask ourselves. Speaking of crime, is it criminal what Auburn did a couple weeks ago and just gave themselves like nine more national championships? My take is that you can try to pull this bullshit, but you have to do it within like two years of when that national championship would have been so that people can get properly mad at you. You can't claim national championships from like, I don't know, 15 plus years ago. It's bullshit what they did, but it is not fair to judge Auburn through a normal lens.

1:33:11They share a state with the most egregious violators of this, of anybody. They live next door to Alabama who claims national titles where they finished number 20 in the AP poll. 1941, Alabama went 8-3, finished number 20. They claim a national title. Alabama's got like six or seven of those. So if you're living with them, fuck it. Just claim whatever. Now, the 93 one when they're on probation, that's stupid. Yeah. I think it's funny when schools claim national titles, so I'm not going to get on about it. But I do think there needs to be a statute of limitations where you're claiming a title from over a century ago because now a computer rating of that season ran box scores through a simulation and said, oh, this team's great.

1:33:47That's great, but it's also like, no. There was something that they did when they lost to the eventual national champion. And they're like, yeah, we're going to claim that one too. So I think anything before like 1950, I think every school should just claim at least three. Yeah. Every school should claim because nobody fucking knows. Can we talk about Auburn real quick? Yeah, we are. The other – no, I'm saying this current – not 100 years ago Auburn. This current Auburn team, Jackson Arnold, is also someone I'm looking at for maybe a long shot Heisman. Thoughts? I think their offense is going to be good.

1:34:18And also here – all right, so let me state my case. Cam Coleman's very good. Yes. Yes. okay great receivers on that okay jackson arnold was in a bad situation last year against with oklahoma terrible situation and on top of all that what has auburn always proven to us is when you think they're down some crazy fucking year happens but it's been like so if you want to go i know but if you want to go chaos theory i could see it but here's the thing i was a huge jackson arnold guy last year he was somebody i was very high on and i felt like oklahoma threw him under the bus he got blamed for a lot of the things that were wrong with that team which were primarily all on a horrible offensive line i have not heard anything good coming out of auburn camp about jackson arnold okay so this is why we have our not expert but insider it's just like now wait a minute he's our insider how did he get a title he just gave us a nugget he just gave us a nugget i'm curious how you don't hear anything good out of auburn because those people never say anything bad about themselves oh i'm not talking to auburn people i'm talking yeah you know he's got insider people.

1:35:18This is how you don't understand Brandon. Oh, I understand. No, it sounds to me like It's called sources. Do you want to have a source off? When Brandon wants to report on a team, he just calls somebody from the team and then he just parrots whatever they tell him. He reads somebody on Twitter. I read you. That's Hank. Hank does that. Hank reads and incites me. But I just, I've heard a lot of negative buzz coming out. And also Auburn, like their plan last year was to kind of load up the money cannon to go into the portal this year to kind of do what Ole Miss did last year make a run for it except the kind of talent that was in the portal the last few years didn't show up in the portal this year so they kind of blew it on multiple quarterbacks so like because they've got ashton daniels from stanford who's the other kid that they got well they got the deuce night kid out of missus night they paid for out of great name so jackson i i don't know you look at hugh freeze's history i compare that with the kind of stuff i've heard coming out of camp i don't know that jackson like it could be a quarterback carousel there it could be week to week fucking serious hell they've said he might play all three in the first yeah and all three coordinators and i think like i forgot about they have a play caller for first day they have nine different combinations you guys were trying to do the permutation yeah that's not our strong suit no but like i i just don't know if jackson is going to be the guy there every week it's gonna be really hard to win the heisman if you're being if you're getting steve spurrier like rotating quarterbacks yeah i have two things about that okay a i think hugh freeze as a elite quarterback whisperer that he was at ole miss and then even at liberty i think it's dead i think it's gone.

1:36:41You want to know what that was? People didn't know the offense yet. Yeah, it's a very simple, yeah, it's not that complicated an offense. But number two, let's paint the picture that Jackson Arnold at Auburn is very good, and you want him to be the Heisman Trophy winner. Can I even come up with a world where he's better than Arch Manning at Texas or Lagway? Listen, these are all long shots. And come up better than Sellers at South Carolina. I can't get him in the top three of the SEC. I know. I'm talking long shots. We're looking for value. I'm probably not going to bet it. I'm just throwing these out there.

1:37:09It's just a thought. I think a better long shot in the SEC, and I haven't looked at the Heisman odds as closely as I'm sure you have so far. I don't know what lag way is it at Florida. Can they get to nine wins? Can Florida get to nine wins? If he gets to nine wins, he's a contender. You've got to get to nine wins to win the Heisman. I'll give you a long shot quarterback in the SEC, Austin Simmons at Ole Miss. Ooh. Just because Lane Kiffin still is good at coaching quarterbacks, and he also has an offense that is still very good at getting their quarterbacks to put up numbers. And if Ole Miss, like they missed out last year, and it feels like they kind of missed their shot, and so everybody's just kind of completely overlooked them and I understand why because I look at the team and it's not a perfect team but I think that offensively they are dangerous enough that if Simmons kind of overperforms what you would expect from somebody with his lack of experience at this point like that's a team that could surprise people it could be in the playoff hunt like Miami was all season last year where even if they come up short Simmons might have an incredible season with the kind of numbers that allows him to you know end up getting in there okay I don't mind that I mean think he's talented he looked good against Georgia in the drive he got in lane can obviously coach quarterbacks but you're kind of poo-pooing something that i think is is a great point they went nine and three last year with the best roster in school history yeah and jackson dart put up numbers i what he finished in the heisman seventh eighth ninth like he wasn't in the top echelon of heisman if jackson dart in his last year there uh with a peak roster didn't do it i don't see lane magically throwing quarterback dust on this guy and i first of all i don't think they're going nine and three i think they're going nine and three at the very best uh I think he's going to be good.

1:38:36I don't think he rises to Heisman level good. Yeah, you do need nine wins. But he's a last shot, though. I think he's like 40 or 50 to 1. Austin Simmons is 40 to 1 on the DraftKings Sportsbook. I didn't need to look that up, by the way. I do. My actual Heisman pick, I think, is on that screen right now. Can you see it? I can see the screen. Yeah, there it is. Jeremiah Love. That's mine. Okay. 25 to 1 on the DraftKings Sportsbook. The narrative doesn't – you don't have to do a narrative when it's Notre Dame. No, it's a Notre Dame running back who rushed for 17 touchdowns over 1 ,000 yards last year while his quarterback vultured 17 touchdowns from him.

1:39:12The question is, will he get enough carries? That's it. If he gets enough carries, he's electric, and it's Notre Dame, and sports writers are going to go crazy for Notre Dame. Max, you said that's down to 25? Yes, 25 to one. See, that was 40 at a week and a half. Oh, fuck. Brandon, what about Mississippi State? Are people asking if Brandon Walker – about Mississippi. He just did. This is the number one podcast in America. He just did. Let me finish my question. Is Brandon Walker to blame for Mississippi State being dog shit these last few years? I'll kick you in the fucking game. And here's why.

1:39:42Great question. Brandon, you're probably what? You're probably in the top 10 in terms of richest Mississippi State alumni. Why would you ask this? Why aren't you giving enough money to the program? I'm doing what I can. I got four kids, brother. I got private school to pay for. My wife. You had to move mama up here. Go manteeking this weekend. I had to buy my house. I had to buy Hank Aaron's science shit. He's buying old newspaper fucking machines, but he's like, I don't have any money to give to Mississippi State. Oh, he can't get a linebacker. I got a good deal on that. You have a 17th Greg Maddox memorabilia.

1:40:11Brent, is it like the end of Schindler's List when you're looking around at your little chair and you're like, oh, this Ron Gant poster, that could have been a linebacker. Not familiar with the movie. I'll watch it later. But I – I wouldn't expect that you would be. I just – listen, our coach died. And is that a thing that I say on Twitter and people smile at it? Yeah, sure. He died at the wrong time in history. He died right when the transfer portal and everything was happening. And we were caught. Is there ever a good time in history? Never a good time for a coach to die. I don't think so. But this was particularly bad.

1:40:41Are you seeing that link? I mean, maybe if you're losing a game and he dies on the sideline and they have to cancel the game. Yeah, yeah. No, the transfer portal and then everything, NIL popped off, and Leach had his own way of doing recruiting. He wasn't going to play that game anyway. So now we're two or three years behind. We're fighting back. The money's a lot better. took in 29 transfers this year. You just got a new contract. I just got a new contract. There's some money in your pocket. I'm working on more Cowbell, the NIL podcast that I'm going to do with Jake Mangum with the Tampa Bay Rays.

1:41:08Like, we're fine. We're fine. Things are going in the right direction. Now I don't even know if I have the NIL with the revenue sharing. I don't even know if the podcast needs to happen. I fully support your Our Coach Died excuse, but again, you got one more year. One more year. That should be the name of your podcast. One more year. Our Coach Died. Yeah. All right, top five teams in the SEC. I like LSU a lot. You do? I do. Hot seat, though. What about Brian Kelly being a – It goes back to the James Franklin thing, right? So if I am going to believe James Franklin can bust through, I'm going to believe that Brian Kelly with the talent at LSU.

1:41:39Now, the defense has to come a long way, but the receiver group, the quarterback, I just think a lot is lining up for LSU. They are a peaks and valleys team. When they are good, they are national title good, and then they go away for a couple years and they come back. I think this is a comeback year for them. um i texas obviously and i don't really believe in florida i don't believe in south carolina to the level of the p i think south carolina is the biggest fraud in the sec so i would probably go in this game i'd probably go chalk there with alabama georgia and then i don't know omeis probably sneaks into that fifth spot i picked lsu to win the national title so i'm with you on i pick them to win the sec i picked yeah i pick them to win the sec too and it's it's kind of along with what you just said like the way that they work it's like when you don't expect them to be anything is when they're going to jump up and have a great year and they have a quarterback who might be a first round pick they have excellent talent to receiver they got to replace damn near the entire offensive line which could be a very big problem going up against clemson in your very first game of the season but i thought that defense last year was improving as the year went on under a new coordinator you go into year two you expect it to be better uh as far as after lsu i got alabama second georgia third texas fourth and then fifth yeah i haven't thought about fifth that much I'm still going to go with Ole Miss because I'm with you like Florida every time you talk about Florida everybody says well if DJ Lagway stays healthy DJ Lagway has never been healthy it feels like since he showed up and it's only been a year or so but it's not healthy now yeah he got hurt last year during the season then all offseason it's like he's not able to throw in camp and then he's able to throw in camp you head into the summer it's like well now it's like a calf injury or something and he's not it's just until he shows the ability to stay on the field which he could but if he when he does he's very very talented I just need to see him stick it out before I'm going to buy into the Gators.

1:43:17I have my fifth. I'm my fifth in Missouri. I like Missouri. I worry about their offense this year. I think Eli is brilliant when it comes together to putting an offense and just putting together a system and all that and gets the absolute most out of his guys. But they lost two guys in their offensive line, both tackles. And Mizzou just does not strike me as a program right now who is in a position where they can lose those two guys and just completely pick up the slack where they were. Now they got Ahmad Hardy, the running back transfer from Louisiana Monroe, who I think is very good. So it's possible they could do like the Cody Schrader out a few years ago, where they just completely lean on the run game and what should be an excellent defense.

1:43:52But I don't know. I just don't know if they can score enough points this year to really be the fifth best team in the SEC. No mention of Oklahoma yet. How hot is that seat? I love John McTeer. This is Brent Venables last season. Who's more pre-fired, Brent Venables or Billy Napier? Pittman. Oh, Pittman's gone. I think we said Pittman was gone at the start of last year. Yeah, Pittman tried to leave. He was like, hey, just give me my buyout. I'll leave. And they're like, no. I think Pittman, they're waiting for a certain date. Yeah. I think his agent literally went to Arkansas and was like, please, let us just go.

1:44:25Don't sleep on Stoops, though. Stoops, I feel like it's like – Oh, yeah, they could be bad. He's on like the pony at the end of the trail just slumped over. He's been dead for a couple years. How is Zach Calzada still – I don't know. I don't fucking know. It's crazy. The list of A &M quarterbacks throughout this country – mediocre A &M quarterbacks starting in this country this year is crazy. It's just infected the world. There's six of them. so wait what was the analogy for for stoops he's the pony at the end of the trail he's a cowboy slumped over on his pony at the end of the trail he's he's dead we just haven't we just haven't told the herd yet i do feel like stoops has run his course at kentucky like i just feel like that's when the a &m thing happened that was the yeah i mean i i think he knew like he understood like i've taken this program to the highest i'm gonna be able to get it and the natives are kind of getting restless because that's how it works like when you're a program like kentucky and you don't have a lot of success and then you start getting success the fan base starts to expect that every single year so it's like it's really fucking hard to do that at kentucky so i think he was looking for a way out i do feel like if kirk ference retires then it makes it really easy for both parties because stoops can just walk out the door and head to iowa and kentucky can move on and then summer all can head to kentucky can we all summer all wants let's all just try to manifest gruden and coach o to arkansas i want gruden at arkansas as a package deal you don't think SMU guys going to Arkansas?

1:45:41I think Rhett Lashley might feel like he could get a better gig. But he's an Arkansas guy. I don't think that matters that much. I think it does to some. I think you can look at SMU if you're Rhett Lashley and say I'm better off here than I would be going to Arkansas. Because if I go to Arkansas, I'm going to get fired. Can I throw out a name for Iowa Kirk Ferencz? Sure. Pat Fitzgerald. That's certainly on the table now. He's going to coach again and he's going to be good. He wants to coach again for sure. I mean, I think that at some point he will definitely get the opportunity to do so and it makes sense.

1:46:11Like if I'm Iowa and Pat Fitzgerald is interested, I'm certainly answering the fucking phone. Yeah. Have we properly called out the bullshit that happened to Pat Fitzgerald? Yeah, it was bullshit. Yeah. It was, yeah. It's horse shit. You know, theory. Again, disclaimer, not inside info. My theory is just Northwestern wanted to get the stadium done and they did not want any of that shit possibly interfering with getting the stadium done. That's just paranoia that's stupid. Yeah. I'm not saying it was smart. Okay, should we do ACC? I mean, if you want to. Are we worried about Cade Klumnik getting in a car accident?

1:46:43So are LSU and Clemson engaging in who can come up with the stupidest rumor about their quarterback? Yeah. With LSU, it was their torn ACL, and now Clemson said, well, they took the football injury. We're going to take car accidents. So some of us in this room might have bet LSU Moneyline just on the off chance it was true. I mean, it might not be a bad bet anyway. Yeah. I like the bet to begin with. There was a message board. It was two days ago. My brother is a first responder near the university, and well, about 30 minutes ago now, someone T-boned a car at an intersection. My brother just told me that it's Cade Klubnick inside the car.

1:47:15Also spelled his name wrong. Can you go a little further? Which is the first. I like a little bit more of this. That got T-boned, and he couldn't move his arm and shoulder. Right, exactly. But when they got there, he didn't text me anything else. Lucky I saw it in time. I'm 57-year-olds and don't carry my phone a lot. He just told me that because I'm a diehard fan, and I'm heartbroken and panicking. Too much info. Anytime a first responder comes to a car crash and the car's in T-bone, the first thing they check is the arm and shoulder. The only injured is arm and shoulder. Your arm's broken? How's your shoulder?

1:47:44That's the thing, though. If you're going to do that, you have to just limited info. Hey, my friend's a first responder. I heard Kate Klebnik was in a car accident. Really banged up. Really banged up. That's all I got, but just something to be on the lookout for. And then you move on. Ambulance, you might lose some accuracy. I'm 57 and I don't carry my phone around. It's like media. It's like, all right, this guy's full of shit. Yeah. So Clemson, maybe Miami? I think Carson Beck's going to be good this year. I like Miami as the second best team in the ACC. I like Miami as a playoff team. I think Carson Beck is way better than Georgia fans want us to believe and that most college football fans want to believe.

1:48:17I think he's really, really good. Whatever happened to Georgia, his head was – he's got some shit going on or whatever. I think he's really good. Now, the receivers, they've got to rebuild the whole room in Miami. But I think they're significantly, easily the second most talented team in that conference. And they get shit on last year. and Chris Ball hadn't made the playoff yet, but they went 10-2. It was Syracuse. Their defense was really garbage, and defense lost them a couple games. They transferred a portal the shit out of that defense. And they got a new coach, too. I look at Miami, and I do feel – I mean, I look at the ACC in general.

1:48:49To me, it's a two-team league. You can argue – you can talk about Louisville and SMU. I think they're both going to be good. I don't think either team is really what you would consider playoff caliber. I think SMU is coming way back to earth. Yeah. I think 8-4 is far more likely than SMU being in the playoff hunt again. But then after you get past those teams, I look at that league in general, and I'm just like, that's not a whole lot there that I'm a big fan of. Pitt's got a chance. They could be like 8-4 simply because the ACC sucks, like the bottom half of the league, and they can just pile up on them.

1:49:18But I just don't look at Pitt as a team that I think is going to be any good, no matter what the record says. I think Pitt might be the team that picks off someone to ruin their season. That's a very Narduzzi thing. Yeah, it's a Narduzzi-Pitt thing. Holstein's a great quarterback. based on quarterback play better cow than a quarterback uh holstein isn't that good of a cow it's pretty good cow it's not that great of a cow i mean it's a solid cow it's a solid it's your average you don't like the spots it's an average cow depends on the spots like you know it could be kind of a rorschach test yeah i like a good holstein there are better cows but i think that's a when you when it's a really good quarterback when you ask a child to draw a picture of a cow what do they draw it's going to be a holstein right every time and they're like the Norman Rockwell of cows.

1:49:59Yeah. Okay, so Miami, you think you're leaning Clemson over Miami, though? I like Miami over Clemson. I just... Oh, that snapped Brandon's head. That was a head snapper. I'm not a big Cade Klobnik fan. I'm just not. Why not? Because of the car accident? Because of the car accident. He's really fucking good. He's okay. 36 touchdowns last year, six interception. I don't know. You can't tell on the stats. Playing against the ACC. I don't know. You can't tell on the stats. Playing against the ACC. What happened in the Georgia game? What happened against South Carolina? Not a lot of those stats. What happened when he played a real team?

1:50:26He was way better against Texas. He was better for a quarter against Texas. He was way better against Texas. After the game was pretty much out of reach, he played great for a quarter. I will grant you, against elite competition, he has a ways to go. But with the receiver talent around him, with the offensive line talent in front of him, I think he is a terrific quarterback. And listen, we're not in the strongest quarterback year we've ever been in. Like, there's a lot of turnover with the top teams. I think he's in top three quarterbacks in the country. I think he might be the best quarterback.

1:50:50I think he's a top three quarterback to start the season simply because nobody knows who the other quarterbacks are yet. I think that by the time November rolls around, Kate Clubnick's like a top 10-ish, top 15-ish quarterback. But you don't think quarterbacks take steps from year to year? I think some do. I think more don't. I think plenty do. I think there are far more examples of guys who just kind of flattened out than who actually improved steadily. I think experience is a big deal. And in this transfer portal era, we kind of throw development out with the bathwater. We just assume a guy who— Do we throw development out or are the guys who've improved going to the NFL?

1:51:25I think there's still guys that stay around and develop. Not – I mean, Michael Penix was in college forever. I don't think the growth between junior and senior year is very significant. I think it can be. I think when you've been starting since you were a freshman, by the time you played 30 games, you kind of just are who you are. The best example recently of three average years and then bang. I think this could happen. That was an offense. That wasn't Kenny Pickett. That was Kenny Pickett, though. That was a Walt Bell offense. And that's going to be Clemson's offense. Okay. I just – I don't see it, man.

1:51:50We've seen it for three years now. Well, I see it. I haven't seen it. So, again, be clear. I don't think Clemson is going to be bad. I just would rather have Miami if I'm picking one of those teams to win because I think Carson Beck last year, obviously, he was banged up, didn't play great. Turns out losing Ladd McConkie and Brock Bowers mattered. I don't know if you watch those guys in the NFL, but they were pretty fucking decent. And I think that he kind of, you know, it just didn't look as good. But I think now he's going to have better talent around him. I think he's going to have a better offensive line than he had at Clemson.

1:52:18And the one thing that's really sold me about Miami is defensively. The defense was horrible last year in the secondary, and they had a defensive coordinator who was insisting his guys play man on every single fucking snap, even though they always showed we shouldn't be playing man, we were going to get beat deep every single time. They ruined a great defensive line that will be one of the best in the country again this year. They brought in a new coordinator who understands what zone is and will actually call it sometimes. And I think that defense is going to be so much better than what we saw last year to where that offense doesn't have to be as good as it was.

1:52:48I like Miami. I'm with you. But I just think Clemson might have, what, six first-round picks? This is a loaded team. They've had a lot of draft picks in recent years. They haven't had this many on one team. They went 8-4 last year. Then they won the ACC. They won 9-3. 9-3, but they won the ACC. They're going to kiss. Why not? You guys are talking so much balls. We're just talking balls. It's like when you guys start fighting. I forgot y 'all were here, to be honest. What about week one? Miami, Notre Dame. I think Miami's going to beat Notre Dame. So do I. We can agree on that. Experienced quarterback.

1:53:21I have some breaking news. Breaking moves. There it is. Holstein cow. Holstein cow. Breaking moves. This fits in perfectly because we can go to the Big 12 next. Colorado announces Ralphie Six, its live Buffalo mascot named Ember, is retiring. An indifference to running contributed to the decision. Very relatable. We all suffer from that. I'm also retiring. The school is training Ralphie seven for her debut, but the team will take the field without its live mascot in the interim. I don't like that. Oh, they're fade Colorado. Screwed. Hate that so much. Also, yeah, people forget that Ralphie is a female Buffalo.

1:53:59They don't have a backup, Ralphie. You lose Shador, Travis Hunter, and Ralphie. Ralphie. Yeah. They win three games. Dion should get like coach of the year. I love a Buffalo indifference to running. Just didn't want to run. I think they're beating. Fuck. I'm a Buffalo. How do you fight? Like, does the Buffalo, like, you're like, come on, girl, let's go. And she just sits there like. No, look. Look at that clip right there. Ralphie's just walking? Yeah, walking. That's the last time that Ralphie Six ran. And you can tell it's this. Shout out Ralphie Six. He does not want to run. Running sucks. That could be intimidating, too.

1:54:26Yeah. Running sucks. I love that at some point lawyers are involved in this situation. They're like, hey, we got to replace the old Buffalo. It's not dangerous enough. Yeah. And the lawyers are like, okay, I get it. It's college football. It's not even santering. But I would say she walked onto the field, but as soon as they turned to go off the field, she started running. She's like, finally gets home and gets paid again. Maybe she's got social anxiety. Yeah, maybe she just wants to get the fuck out of there. I don't think she likes football. Didn't like running. Love that. All right, so Big 12's chaos.

1:54:53The chaos. Which I love. I love that the Big 12 has stayed the chaos. Let me ask you this. Jalen Daniels, 60-1. Heisman, your thoughts. Jalen Daniels' problem has always been staying healthy, and about four snaps or four plays into the game last week, even though they won, he's limping off the field with his left arm hanging at his side like it had been dislocated already. And they're not going to win nine games. They could. It's the Big 12. They could win 11 games. Who the fuck knows? They were really good at the end of last week. Can I say a basic bitch answer to that question? Yeah. Can you picture the Kansas quarterback winning the Heisman Trophy?

1:55:24Because I can't. That's a good question. I just can't do it. Not with so many teams. I just can't. I can't. I can't picture it. I'll put it this way. If Arch Manning is in New York, there's a 0 % chance that Jalen Daniels wins. Yeah, well, somebody like an Arch Manning is going to be in New York. He's 60-1, right? Yeah. Okay, well, if you look at it from the aspect of can you bet it and then maybe I could cash it out later. Don't expect him to win. I'm still not sold him. Wow, you set that up like you were. Did you know that his name sounds a lot like Jayden Daniels? It does sound like Jayden Daniels.

1:55:53In fact, I thought that's who you were talking about at first. He did win the Heisman. Yeah, I blacked out there for him. You bet on him. Big 12. ASU? I think not. Sam Levitt, also not a terrible Heisman pick. No, and I'll tell you another one. I think Sawyer Robertson's really good at Baylor. I got Baylor. Why didn't you guys hold on to him you're uh because mike leach died that's right oh yeah he's dead he was the last mike leach but no but you've got yeah you've got your michael jordan signed photo you could have had sawyer robertson i'd rather have the michael jordan signed photo uh so i i like you're just throwing darts at the board with the big yes um arizona state last year i think when we look back we remember scadaboo running crazy and levitt playing well and then competing and should have beat texas we remember that we remember them killing iowa state they also had seven one score games they had a lot of really close games had a lot of tough losses like this team was rolling at the end of the season I don't know that they're going to be able to do that for a 12 game schedule and so many close games I think they fall down the pack a little bit I picked Baylor but it could be anybody one of nine teams 12 10 teams yeah I picked like in our preseason picks for on the website at CBS Sports I picked Kansas State I'm already fucked it feels like because they lost last week to Iowa they're not out of it but they're not out of it because that's how the conference works like i'm more confident that whoever ends up winning the league will have a seven and two mark mark in conference play than i am and who will win it because i do feel like that will be how it ends up because that's what we saw last year there are three teams that went seven and two in the big 12 and ended up in the game but as for kansas state i think has a chance iowa state has a chance baylor has a chance arizona state like they all utah utah you're sure i mean devon dampier won me money last year big fan of his but and they don't and they no longer have to do the will they won't they cam rising no that's over which is was torture that took forever forever and you know a team that like nobody's talked about in the big 12 that i just feel like everybody's looking for this year's indiana this year's indiana you mentioned it kurt signetti leaves james madison he goes to indiana he takes the entire fucking roster with him rich rod left jacksonville state went to west virginia brought the entire fucking roster with him from jacksonville state and he's in a league where there really isn't an elite team i think the schedule's easy too and the schedule is pretty easy so i look at west virginia like if that's a future you want to take instead of taking jaylen daniel it was virginia to win the big 12 uh what teams can't win the big 12 i think ucf and houston is really the only two where i want to i would like say that they can't win it i don't think cincinnati's got it i don't either i like brendan soresby yeah yeah i just i i don't know like if if he takes oklahoma state i'm not counting out mike gundy it would be the most it would be the most Gundy thing ever though for him to just suddenly jump up and win 10 games again we've said that like two years in a row I feel like it's time to maybe count him out I'm not but that's what he wants me to do he does that's what the fake news want you to do Texas Tech Yeah.

1:58:51They're going to be good. Yeah. Yeah. They should. With the roster they put together, they should be in the mix. It's a little believe it when I see it with Texas Tech because Joey McGuire seems like more fantasy than fact right now. I did some research this offseason with Texas Tech in mind, and I was just trying to look at transfer portal classes as far as – because they get ranked. It's a very, very inexact science because it's a very short track record. and my the results of what I looked at were like when you look at the teams that rank among the top 10 in these transfer classes it's typically the teams that are already great who continue to play well with these transfer classes when you look at like the middle class schools that are in the top 10 they tend to improve by a win it's never really what you think just because we had a great transfer class so I think when you factor in the big 12 and that anybody can win it yes you have to mention Texas Tech but when you look at how like going that heavy in the portal usually works for most teams of their caliber it's like eight and four is probably what you're really looking at but eight and four might be good enough okay uh notre dame independent great where do we have them winning the independence this year i think they've got what it takes to take down uconn okay yeah they're gonna they're gonna be in the playoffs i think so yeah yeah i don't have them in the playoffs really yeah i i i think what what's that you hate catholics i don't hate catholics i don't hate notre dame i don't hate anybody i'm simply that's not looking I don't know.

2:00:11I've got sources that tell me you hate Catholics. This actually makes - Your source says I hate Catholics. Yeah. You hate a lot of - From the guy who brought you Travis Hunter can't win the Heisman, I'm excited about Jeremy. Not what I said. Do you know where the Pope is from? Yeah, he's from somewhere in Chicago. Yeah, I know him. He told me that you hate Catholics. You don't know the Pope. I totally know the Pope. He used to go to White Sox games. You don't hang out with the Pope. Yes, I do. Well, not anymore. Now he's in the fucking Vatican. This is worse than hating Catholics. You're lying about the Pope.

2:00:34I would never lie about the Pope. You just said - I am Catholic. You said Pope was slumped over on a – No, that's Stoops. You were talking about the football coach. I was talking about the football coach. Notre Dame. I think last year was a perfect storm of being a really good team, having a really good coach, and having an identity, that defensive identity, the elite secondary. I think it was a really perfect storm of that schedule kind of nursing them back to life. They lost to Northern Illinois team, and then that schedule just gave them stepping stone after stepping stone after stepping stone.

2:01:04and I think this one's sneaky mean off the rip. I think at Miami to open up, everybody's assuming they're going to win. Well, they're going to be breaking in a new quarterback down there. Miami defense is way, way better than it was last year. I think Miami beats them. Then they've got to come home and play an A &M team who's going to be really good. That at-Arkansas trip in the fourth week is really fucking tricky. I don't think Arkansas is an elite SEC team by any stretch of the imagination, but talent-wise, that's going to be a team that is certainly going to be a step up from Purdue and everything.

2:01:35They got Boise State on the schedule. They got at Pitt on the schedule late. When you think all the hay's in the barn, they got to go to Pitt. He can say what he wants. I think Holstein's a good quarterback. The receiver, the running back, they're all really good. I think that's a tricky spot. I think Notre Dame could fuck around and be a 9-3 team this year. In fact, I think they will be a 9-3 team this year. I don't. I look at this team compared to last year, and I think that with Riley Leonard gone and now CJ Carr taking over as starter, what you could possibly see is a far more dynamic offense that will actually be capable of throwing the football are they gonna let him yes they don't seem like the team that's just gonna let him let him go out there and rip I I think they will I think they haven't in the last few years because they haven't had a quarterback they felt comfortable doing so I think Sam Hartman could yeah and they threw him around but Sam Hartman's arm was not exactly what I would call NFL caliber yeah there's a reason he got cut today but I think CJ Carr is an NFL caliber kind of arm and I think that they had good receivers the last years they haven't really been able to utilize uh the defensive line they got to replace some guys on but they also brought in they've had some young talent on that side i think they'll be fine i think the secondary will still be fine we talked about jeremiah love earlier and i think to your point about the earlier games i i have miami winning this week and i wouldn't be shocked at all if texas a &m beats i'm like we didn't mention them but texas a &m could be the fifth best team in the sec but i think that plays to their advantage because if they finish even if they start oh and two and they win out nobody's going to give a shit about those losses from september by the time you get to the end of the year it's going to be putting them in the playoff and they're Notre Dame so if they're 10 and 2 they're getting in no matter what so and they're gonna have the Heisman and they have the Heisman they're starting out 0 and 2 I think they're they're they're in some trouble well they have to be perfect they're in some trouble and I don't think that schedule is as forgiving as it was last year and I said that there was no way they should be in the playoff last year after losing to Northern Illinois and then look what happened yeah is uh PFT gonna go to the college football playoff James Madison I put a bet on it earlier for five have you just bet on every team and ever played?

2:03:25Listen, when you win a Tommy Fleetwood bet, you've got some stuff that you can spread around a little bit. Maybe if you put that money on James Madison's NIL, all the players wouldn't leave for Indiana. Well, when I win this bet, then I'll kick it back in the set. I'm not a Brandon Walker. Why didn't I think about that as a retort? I'm so stupid. Because I'm smarter than you are. Agreed. With JMU, I think that they've got a good shot. I really do. I think Boise State, obviously, is the frontrunner for it, but if JMU can win the Sun Belt, I see no reason why they wouldn't be that that 12th team I think James Madison can win the Sunbelt I think what you have to overcome is how the Sunbelt is viewed in a lot of ways like with a lot of the metrics that they use to figure out the field and I think the other thing working against you is like week zero is week zero you never want to take too much from it but my one big takeaway from watching the games last week was the Mountain West might be truly horrible so like Boise State might absolutely run to a 12-0 record in that conference and if Boise State's got a great record like that I just don't think any G5 or other G6 team is getting in.

2:04:24What if we beat Louisville? Notre Dame, by the way. What if we beat Louisville week two? I think that would certainly help, but you really need Louisville to be very good. And again, I'm not a huge – I'm not really high on anybody in the ACC outside those top two teams. And yes, I guess if Boise State does beat Notre Dame, that would count. So I'm sorry, Boise State's only 11-1 with the loss to Notre Dame. Because you did say – after saying that – And you didn't bring up NIL with him. No, I – Hey, I got Sluka. I got Mr. NIL. I dropped that ball, but you made an error too. Is Luke at James Madison now?

2:04:52Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. That should put to bed all the rest of JMU's not playing. You better make sure that check cashes or he'll leave halfway through the season. We'll pay him in meth if we have to in Harrisonburg. That's not a problem. Couldn't get any of that out in Vegas. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Can't do it. Do you guys want to do your picks? What are we picking? You had the same thing as last year. But that didn't matter. It did. You won college football extra, but it didn't win me anything. Yes, it did. Brandon, he won you a chance to come back here. You got introduced. I've worked here for six years.

2:05:23You got introduced as a part of my team. And it took him that long to get you in here. And who got you in here? Me. What would you like? You've literally been down the hall for five years before I got you in here. What would you like us to put on the line, Brandon? What do you think the winner should get? I should get. No, the winner. I won. No, this year. What do you think the winner should get? What do you think the winner should get? We're in the competition together. I think they should get a wrestling champion belt. Okay. Tom, by the way, in the spirit of college football, you could just claim last year's title.

2:05:52I will, 20 years from now. Don't worry. Don't bring up wrestling. It's a sore subject. Why? What's wrong with wrestling? Brandon had a podcast. You took it away from him? I didn't. Who took it away? Hulk Hogan died. Alright, so we're going to do the thing. That should be the name of the podcast. All of my podcasts are people that died. Alright, so we'll finish with a rowback question. RHOBACK.com promo code TAKE. 20 % off your first purchase. Q-Zips, Polos, Hoodies, Joggers, Shorts. Rowback.com promo code TAKE. What would you like to put up for it, Brandon? What do you want to have? I like y 'all creating a championship belt.

2:06:29Okay. Done. I will parade it around all year. I will put it on my wall behind me so that way every time I'm on my show, you'll see it. That's perfect. I've never seen your show. I know. That's fine. We cater our show to people who know ball. The Thinking Man's podcast. Not me. All right. So who wants to go? Brandon, you won. I would like to go first or second and third. I'd like to have picked second and third. Second and third. Okay. That's fair. So how we did it last year, each of the guys is going to pick 12 teams to make the college football playoff and win the national championship. And then what was our scoring?

2:07:04Was it? I can't remember. Last year was just one for one. That's what it was last year. Now, if y 'all want to improve it, where it - Nominate scoring changes here? No, I think we did do. I think we did wait it. It was like three and five for – Yeah. But Tom didn't get anybody past the fucking semifinal. You should get extra points for getting a team that gets a bye. Oh, okay. So one point for a bye. Mm-hmm. And then one point for a first-round win. I like that. One point for a first-round win, two points for a second round, three, and then four for the national champion. That works for me. Is that good?

2:07:33Lock it in. Agreeable? All right. That was a – can we – there we go. All right. So here we go. You put it on your knee. That was weird. Here are our picks. This is what we did last year. Sorry. I just found it. Okay, so it was one point for make playoff, one point for first round win, two points for second round win, three points for semifinal win, four points. Yeah, see, there's nothing for getting a bye. So should it be one point for bye? Yeah. So you don't get a point for making the playoff. You just get a point for getting a bye. But looking at this record, it looks like Tom had two points.

2:07:58But technically, you would get two points for getting a bye. Got it. You basically get the first round win. You get the first round win. Yeah, Tom had two more playoff teams than Brendan did. Yeah, I know. But I got fucked by the scoring. But I agreed to the scoring of it. I don't think that was – Yeah, he was more accurate than you. You had five. You had five. You had three. I had more three, by the way. No. That didn't look right. That looked exactly right. Pull it up again. Tom had five. Brandon had three. But I had. No, yeah. Brandon had Ohio State, Texas, and Notre Dame make the playoff. Tom had Georgia, Oregon, Tennessee.

2:08:28My quarterback died. My quarterback died. Time. We're just skipping Clemson? Why is Clemson not greened? Clemson did make the playoff. Fucking assholes. See, this is how y 'all do it. See, my quarterback died, which is why I lost. because if Carson Beck plays, they beat Notre Dame, get to the finals. I was just looking up a reference of what our scoring was. I wasn't looking up the – Well, you can't look up stuff around us. Shit will go crazy. My bad, my bad, my bad. It's all right. You don't get to yell at our producers. I didn't yell at Max. You have plenty of producers. You were kind of yelling at them.

2:08:58You have lots of producers at home you can yell at them. Max, do you feel like I yelled at you? I feel all right. I apologize. Thank you. I'll still take the apology. All right. Max, I thought you were a great captain. Shut the fuck up. I was bad. Okay. Tom, you have a first pick. Ohio State. Ohio State. What a bitch-made pick. What a bitch-made pick. Buckeye Brandon. Penn State. Penn State and? Texas. Okay. So, Texas, Penn State, Ohio State off the board. Tom, you now have the next two picks. Give me Clemson and Georgia. Fuck, why did I pick Clemson? I don't know. You're the Clemson guy. I thought you were going to take them.

2:09:43I'm thinking about who I got in my playoff I'm thinking about who I got in my fucking playoff I'm thinking about who I got in my motherfucking playoff I'm thinking about who I got in my motherfucking goddamn playoff I feel like you should know Are you doing Bernie Mac right now? Bernie Mac voice? I was hanging out at the bar, you know, chilling, all cool Woman gonna come up to me, she gonna say Brandon! I said, yeah, that's my name Have you heard this bit yet? No She said, Brandon, does pussy taste like pumpkin pie? I said, don't ask me a damn question. I never had no pumpkin pie. Kick it. Nice.

2:10:17All right. It's like he was in the room. It's like he's right here. That's the most racist thing I've ever heard. No, no, it's not. Oh, don't ruin his Brady Mac. Don't come after Brandon Mac. All right. You got Georgia. Well, now I got to pick teams that I don't believe are going to make it. Why wouldn't you do that? There's only five teams off the board. I know, I know, I know. This is still make it territory. Give me Notre Dame. Okay. Notre Dame, who I don't think is going to make the playoff. But there's more sure bet than like, no, no, no. Go back to Brandon. Go back to Brandon. And I'm clearly missing somebody in my mind.

2:10:55LSU. Yeah, give me LSU. He's right. That's who I was going to do. Good pick, big cat. Yep. Thank you. If LSU wins it all, I'm the college football expert. Miami and Alabama. Miami and Alabama. Good picks. No, no, no, no, no. See how ready Tom is for this? Yeah.

2:11:14Do you need me to tell you the teams that are still left? Oregon. Mm-hmm.

2:11:24Boise State. Oh. That's a good pick. That's a very solid value pick. Yeah, thank you. I don't need your approval. You notice we're both terrified of going to the Big 12. Yeah, yeah. It's just a guess. It's just a pure ass. What's he doing? That's not what he said at all. If they win it all, I'm the expert. This is, God damn. See, we're raiding the Big Ten and the SEC because those are far and away. But it's also, I feel like game theory wise, you want to just take some shots on other teams and other conferences. Just go, just go pussy. Max, it's not proficient at Excel. No. I'm going to do it.

2:12:02Give me Michigan. Grace Underwood Forfeit your pick then Yeah I know teams of five star quarterbacks And shit Alright I'm going to do it I'm going to break the bubble Give me Utah I like it Since he did it I'll also do it Give me Give me Baylor That's kind of Tom's pick too Because he broke the bubble for you Once again I am the reason he's here Notre Dame is also Tom's pick not true at all you have two picks you made on your own none of this is true no that's not Tom's pick and PFT's live in Austin so Texas is PFT's Baylor fuck I know we're getting to the it's getting nasty out there give me a motherfucking give me a Missouri.

2:13:01Bucket. I like them to go 10-2. I had them last year, I think, in this. We can stop it after... We're like 24 now. We've each got how many more picks? You've got four. Give me A &M. Which one? Texas. The one in College Station. I already have Texas. And then give me... Nebraska's still out there? You need me to write down some teams for you? Yeah. Do you not know Arizona State? You don't have the teams, do you? I'm just trying to figure out all the SEC teams that don't have a shot. So far, I've only got Mississippi State. Ole Miss? Obviously, Kentucky doesn't have a shot. No, I mean, I feel like Kentucky's got a shot.

2:13:41They've won 10 games. Then pick them. Pick Kentucky. No, no, no. Maybe in the later rounds. This is a later round, Tom. This is the mid to later. This is round 10. South Carolina? No, no, no. I don't want South Carolina. Fuck that. Give me, you know what? Fuck Brandon. This way, so he's right. He fucks them. Give me Nebraska. I'll kick you in the... Okay. Give me Arizona State. And give me... Fuck.

2:14:11Illinois. That's fine. I win either way. That's Tom's pick, too. Yeah. Well, since I have a degree from there, I feel like I should get half those points if I can. Yep. That's in the Bible. How come all of Tom's – my picks are somebody else's? Yeah. All right. Great question. So I've got two left here. Give me Kansas State because I'm not totally off of them. I thought they actually played well even before we lost that game. They certainly didn't play well. I think they played better than Iowa State. Well, they didn't. Well, no, you can play better and lose. They were down 10. Especially in the Big 12.

2:14:47Go watch the tape, buddy. I watched the All-22. I did. It was not impressive. Name four players on the team. Let's see. Avery Johnson. johnson's dad and avery johnson's brother i mean those guys are fighting for their brother that's that's the kind of team unity i want dylan dylan edwards and then the receiver so let's see you took illinois off the board give me hmm give me two lane oh yeah you needed to take a g5 that would have been an asshole move you did yeah it just felt like it's yeah give me to round it out to finish it off, to cap it, to make it whole. Give me the Washington Huskies. You like that?

2:15:32I do. My only concern about Washington that we didn't talk about much is just I met Demond Williams in person. Not the largest human being you're going to run into. They don't make big quarterbacks. He's a running quarterback, though. Got to have some meat in the bones. Yeah. Got to have some density, some heft. That's two. Yeah. okay okay good job boys thank you uh i think we know 11 picks each that's that that's 12 right well no i fucked that up i fucked that up first time and brandon oh so we need one more so we had it so it's my yep that's true i'm glad now you know it's max's fault it's max's fault not ours okay no it's definitely not one more jalen hurts isn't even a top 10 nfl QB.

2:16:18You know what? I'm taking away all the parentheses. It would be my pick.

2:16:26I know, it's tough. Big Ole Miss. Fuck you. Why not? Louisville. Ooh. I don't hate it.

2:16:39Take James Madison. No, it's okay. I feel like they're racist against the Sun Belt. You think James Madison's racist? I think the college football The whole institution is. He lived in the 1700s. Yeah, like the school or the man? Harrisonburg feels like a racist place. I would agree with that. When you drive through it. Yeah, there's some truth to that. A lot of golden corrals. That's always a sign. Always a sign. They got the old Cracker Barrels. We're not giving up our old logo. They're holding on to it. From my dead hands. Let's see. You can't name 24 teams? I'm just trying to figure out what other big 12 give me Texas Tech fuck it they spent so no Ole Miss on there we didn't miss like a top 5 team did we?

2:17:24if we did we'll find out no I don't think you guys did I think you're good I'm looking at the odds right now alright boys thank you it was always great always fun to get the invite to walk down the hall three doors to be on the show for the third time ever that's not true fourth time ever That's not true. Seventh time ever? I don't know. You did three dinners. How many times have I been on? A lot. You've been on? A shit ton. I'm just trying to remember. My burners used to fucking kill you. Your burners? Hank's on every show, so Tom's got representation. Is Hank here, by the way? I haven't seen Hank.

2:17:59Brendan, you've been on a bunch of the Takey Awards. Yeah. I was awarding things to Ben Mintz. Yeah. No, but this year we illegally taped you and ran it. How did that? Hold on. So what you're saying is like the only time you're on the show is when you're connected to somebody else. Correct. Tom Fernelli 11 times. I don't stand on my own. How many times am I for real? One? Five. Five. I'm at five? Yeah, that's pretty good. Dingers Only has helped. Yeah, Dingers Only helps. Which, by the way, I'm a lead at. Yeah, you are good at it. Who's the one of you guys that drafted the utility second baseman of the Diamondbacks who was only up because the guy was injured?

2:18:31That was Stephen Che. The fantasy expert. Yeah, he did because his name was funny. Alright, boys. You're the best. Thank you both. All one of us is. Brandon and Tom are brought to you by Nutrafol. If you're dealing with... We had help. On August 21st... We have a story. Mutiny arrives on the big screen. Who are you? It is, trust me. Jason Statham stars in the action movie to end your summer. What do you want? Engines. Mutiny. Rated R. Brandon. At Boar's Head, we've been going back to school for over 115 years. And this year, every school lunch is reason to celebrate. with the flavors your kids love and the exceptional quality you expect.

2:19:15Helping you make school lunch fresh, easy, and delicious. Ring the bell. The deli is open. Orzette, committed to craft since 1905. Here's CJ Kirst. And now for something completely different. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very, very special guest. he is our star player for the Philadelphia Water Dogs 1-1 overall from Cornell national champion what's the Heisman called again? Tour time. There it is. It's CJ Kirst. CJ thank you for joining us we figured maybe it's a good time to have you come in, get you pumped for the semifinals coming up I don't know if you know this but we've won a championship as owners of the Water Dogs we'd like to add to our ring collection even though we lost the first ring that we were given.

2:20:09We are like Jerry Jones. Yeah. And you are like Micah Parsons. Yeah. So let's get a deal done. Yeah. Who signs your checks at the end of the day? Does it say Paul Rabel on the checks? No, I don't think so. Okay. How much more money do you want? Because we'll get it for you. Can you? Yes. Whatever you want. Wow. I would love an NFL deal if that's possible. Yeah, done. So how's the season going? I mean, you obviously, like, we were very excited when we got the first overall pick. watched you at Cornell. Incredible season. Most goals ever. Is that correct? Yes. Most goals ever is pretty sick. Pretty cool.

2:20:42But how's this season going? Has there been a transition from college to the pros? Yeah, definitely. I mean, I broke my hand towards the end of the college season, so I had to take a couple weeks off once I finished up on playing in the championship and then been playing for the last five games. So I was 0-4-4 to start at the end of the regular season, so wasn't really contributing i guess too much for the team but uh then we got it done in the playoff so we're uh still dancing yeah is there a difference between college speed and pll speed yeah 100 there's a new shot clock so after face-off you got 30 seconds to go take a shot and then um and i guess a regular shot clock resets 52 and then in college it's it's 80 so uh much faster yeah do you think it's bullshit that you are so good at lacrosse and then you also can be like I went to an Ivy League school?

2:21:30Yeah, I think, I mean, I guess in lacrosse, it's not the worst look in the world where people are like, oh, you went to an Ivy League school. But I guess compared to in the outside world, the other sports, people always give you some crap. Yeah, you got it all. You literally have it all. Did they have like special lacrosse courses at Cornell or did you take like the full student load? Full student load, yeah, yeah. So it was tough. Was that hard? Yeah, I would say so. I mean, just like any other school though, you figure out the easy classes. So I can't complain about the five years I took to graduate there.

2:22:03Yeah. You guys have been – you've been on a little tear right now. Nobody wants to see the Waterdogs win. We are the underdogs right now, and we're playing Cinderella. So tell me about the matchup that we have coming up this weekend. Yeah. So we're playing the New York team, and actually my roommate's on the team and a couple other Cornell guys that I've had the opportunity to play with. So, you know, a lot of – we've been talking a lot about this matchup, But we had a tough loss to them a couple weeks ago by one. 2019 was probably the coolest P.L.L. game I've been a part of. So fired up to play them again.

2:22:32And Philly, too. So home crowd. Hopefully a lot of purple there. I hate them so much. I hate New York. It's like I always have. I've got two favorite teams, the Water Dogs and whoever's played New York. Yeah. Or no, whoever plays the Whipsnakes, too. Well, yeah, fuck the Whipsnakes. Yeah, fuck the Whipsnakes. All right, so your brother, you have three brothers also in the P.L.L.? Yeah, three. Okay. So this is like a Saving Private Ryan situation. If one of you goes down with an injury, then another one goes down, we've got to save CJ Kirst. That's pretty crazy. Four brothers in the PLL. Are you the best by far?

2:23:04I wouldn't really say that, no. You can say that. I mean. You had the best college career. Yeah, I guess so. I mean, you scored the most goals in college lacrosse history. I'm going to say that you had the best college career. I appreciate that. Yeah. But is it like, are you still trying to catch your older brothers, even though you've been very accomplished yourself? I mean, yeah. Now playing pros, I mean, it's totally different. So, like, they're pretty accomplished themselves. They've been a part of world teams. So trying to follow their footsteps and hopefully in a couple of years have a, I guess, better resume in that regard.

2:23:37Yeah. Where were they drafted? So two of them play for the Boston Cannons and then one plays for the California Redwoods. Okay. Were they also taken, like, really high up? No. Oh. But you were. So got them on that. Yeah, 1-1. Yeah, so you're like the Rob Gronkowski of the Gronkowski brothers. Wow, that means a lot. Yeah. Have you been in a fight this year? No, I haven't. I feel like that is a level that I could definitely jump on my brothers because they play indoor lacrosse as well, which is huge in fighting, I guess, compared to some of the other styles of lacrosse. So once I get to that fighting level, I think then I have an upper edge on them.

2:24:16When was your last fight? Last fight, wow. I don't think I've ever had a legit flight. You've got guys that handle your business for you. Of course. Yeah, that's the name of the game. That's just sports. Are you soft? No, I wouldn't. Come on now. Listen, we're the owners. We've got to ask the hard questions. I like that response, though. Yeah, that was a good job. And obviously, you're not soft. You literally played with a broken hand and scored the most goals and won the national championship. But that was a good answer. Yeah. You got a little offended by that. I like that. Yeah, yeah. So are you soft?

2:24:45Answer the question. No. Okay, good. so why aren't you fighting? because I don't want to be suspended I mean, come on, now I want to be playing for other good answers other good answers, that's a very good answer if you were to say we had an enforcer on the water dogs, who would you say? enforcer? wow I would say a guy who's been living in the penalty box Jimmy Freehill, another rookie he's trying to make a name for himself by, you know sitting in the sin bin, so it's been It's been impressive to see. Yeah, I like that. Every team, if you have a Michael Jordan, you have to have a Dennis Rodman.

2:25:21Exactly. That's ready to throw down at all times. Yeah. I like where we're at right now. I really do because I feel like the rest of the league underestimated us after the regular season. What changed? What changed? I would say within the older guys. I don't know if you guys are familiar with the veterans that we have on our team. Of course, we own the team, dude. Where are the rings, though? You guys have somewhere, right? I think Hank has them. Hank has them. Well, we moved offices when we got the ring, and then we have them somewhere, I'm sure. Yeah. But yeah, we are, come on, man, we're owners.

2:25:52We know this whole, we basically picked the roster ourselves. Honestly, like, the rings are a flex for us, but we don't need to show them off all the time. Like, you guys went out there, like, the team earned it. Yeah. So I don't need to act like I was a part of the team, even though I did put the team together and galvanize the team and give them words of inspiration and really will them to victory. I don't need to act like I'm part of the team. so like the rings I want to see you guys wearing the rings yeah you're right but the most important ring for me is the next one yeah well said you were talking about our veterans like you're talking about like Mike Schlosser I love Connor Kelly yep CK or Zach Curry yeah yeah like are you talking about these guys here McArdle as well Dylan Ward yeah those are guys battle tested those guys stepped up big so that's where the difference is coming that's where the difference is coming yeah we're uh I mean they're taking control of the locker room and so it's uh it's been a huge difference from the past couple games to now being in the playoffs.

2:26:43So you guys are playing the semifinals on Monday. Our game is at 11 a.m. Central, noon Eastern. Have we played the Atlas? How have we done against the Atlas this year? Yeah, so we're 0-2. God damn it. Hard to beat the team three times. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. So we got that going for us. But yeah, no, I said it a little bit earlier, but we lost them 20-19 a couple weeks ago in Boston. So I feel like we know them well and fired up to play on Monday against them. Yeah, I'm definitely fired up to watch. How fast can you shoot a lacrosse ball? Wow. I would like to say close to triple digits. Yeah. Okay.

2:27:24Do you have like a favorite goal you've ever scored? Favorite goal I've ever scored? In the pros? Yeah. Or overall? It could be overall. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would say so. I want to say like my freshman year against Yale. It was like off a clear. Got the ball on the ground ball and ran a couple, ran like 50 yards and then put it in the back of the net on one-on-one. So, yeah, I'd say that would be my favorite goal. I like that. What about the longest goal you've ever scored? Longest goal I've ever scored? I want to say I've scored like a couple empty netters from like 20 yards away, but nothing too special.

2:28:00Nothing too deep? Yeah. Yeah. No two bombs yet, so I'm trying to hunt for two bombs. That's coming this weekend. Yeah, exactly. They don't think that you can shoot from distance. Yeah, it's on the scout. We'll see. What's the vibe in the locker room about the owners? Are they like, hey, fuck these guys? Or are they like, hey, we love our owners? Thank God they're so hands-off that we never see them. What's the vibe? I would say the last part. Thank God they're just kind of pushing it towards us, letting us run with it, and then have conversations like this to make sure they're still in the loop at the right moment.

2:28:32Yeah, we're players first. We always have been players first. We take the perception here that you guys are professional, you know what to do we're just going to step back and you guys are going to do your thing and we're going to just do our thing and we're going to win then we'll claim credit for it after yeah right we win yeah then we'll be like yeah our team won but yeah it's really up to you guys like you guys are are controlling your entire destiny right now we don't want to interfere with anything yeah we're not you know the best lacrosse minds in the world but we will talk shit so is there anybody out there whether it be a player or an organization or another owner that you would like to make our enemies?

2:29:09We'll get in their shirt, like big time. Yeah, no, I appreciate that. And I think it's much needed at this time of the year. But I don't have anyone specific that comes to mind. Okay, what about this? So we're owners of the Water Dogs. We're about to play the semifinals. We guarantee victory. We're going to kick the shit out of the Atlas. Hell yeah. Okay. I like that. Print it. Put it on the paper. Fuck the Atlas. Fuck the Atlas. All my homies hate the Atlas. Let's go. We just wrote a check that hopefully you can cash for us. Yeah, we got to get it done, though. Yeah. Are you thinking about the Olympics at all?

2:29:42Yeah, I would say that's kind of the biggest goal and biggest dream and being a lacrosse player and hopefully have that opportunity to be pretty special. How does that process work? How are they doing tryouts, Team USA? How does that all go down? Yeah, so it kind of started last summer. It's a new form called Sixes, so they tried getting a group of guys together and figuring out what's the best way to play the game. So then this summer is kind of like the first real round of tryouts. So invite another group of guys down to Sparks, Maryland, where the USA Lacrosse headquarters is, and then figure it out from there.

2:30:18So I guess the process starts in a couple weeks. So there's a chance. It's an outside chance. We have a guy here who actually works down in Florida now, but he is the goalie, I think backup goalie, for the Czechoslovakian team. Wow. I have privately funded the Czechoslovakian team in certain ways. And if they qualify for the Olympics, I will walk with them into the stadium in L.A. Is that stolen valor? You'll be there. I will be an Olympian. I will get the tattoo. I will be an Olympian. Is that stolen valor? I don't think we're – it's going to be a long road because I think there's only, what, eight teams, six teams?

2:30:54I don't know the total teams, actually. It's small. They kind of screwed us on that. But would you think, like, if we're walking down the street and we both are like, hey, we're Olympians in lacrosse, would you be like, no, this guy is bullshit. He just paid a little money for the Czech team and I played. Would you be upset at me? No, I would tip my cap. Yeah. Any way you get there. Yeah, I'd say respect. You're doing your part. I would say it's not stolen valor. It's treason. If you're funding a foreign country to get out to the Olympics. They're not going to beat. I'm going to root for the U.S.

2:31:24You're going to walk out with a checklist of Lockheed and flag on your shoulders. To say that you're an Olympian? Yeah. I don't know about that. I don't know about funding the checks. I'd like to fund USA lacrosse. Wow. How much? Five? Ten dollars? What do I have to do to be able to tattoo the rings on my arm? I think a little bit more than that. Yeah, we can talk about that. Do you have like a thing that you would do if we won the PLL this year? Like, would you shave your head? how bad do you want it? I would shave my head. I would get a tattoo maybe. Okay, I might get a tattoo if we win. Would you?

2:31:59Yeah. There's a couple guys who have it from the 2022 season. It's a pretty cool one. Do you guys have anything like that? No. Just the ring. Just the ring, which we took great care of. I'd maybe get a water dog tat. It's an awesome logo. Do we know what kind of dog that is? I think it's a Great Dane. We'll go with Great Dane. It looks like a Great Dane. If you guys do win, when you win, sorry. Got to talk like an owner here. Beer's on us. Wow. Full tab, whatever we want to do. So just maybe send that back to the boys and be like, hey, listen, beer's on the guys. Wow. We appreciate that. And we'll give you, every single member of the team, a free subscription to Pardon My Take.

2:32:40Wow. Yeah. That's epic. And Toosie. And Toosie. If you want Toosie. If you want Toosie. You probably can't accept the Toosie. I'll do the Toosie for you. All right. All right? I'll celebrate for you guys. Steve gets all the free two-s. I bought you a bunch of two-s. Unfortunately, it's against the law for me to give it to you. I guess I just have to do all the two-s. Okay. Okay. All right, so we're going up against the Atlas. Who's on the other side of the bracket? It is the Outlaws and the Redwoods. Yeah. Okay. You knew that. Yeah. Who would you rather face? My brother's on the Redwoods. Oh. Yeah.

2:33:14I like that. That would be pretty cool. That would be great. That would be like the Harbaugh Super Bowl. Exactly. You guys would tune in for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no doubt. What was it like? So it was five of you total, right? Your youngest brother is playing where? Ruckers. Okay. Yeah, he's a sophomore. Is he going to get drafted, you think? Is he good enough? Hopefully. He's got to earn it. So what was it like growing up with four other brothers and you guys are playing? When you were four years old, you're like, I'm going to be awesome at lacrosse because all my brothers are awesome and we're just doing this together?

2:33:41Yeah, it wasn't even just lacrosse at the start. I feel like we played everything and played basketball, football. I mean, loved playing baseball as well. So it was great just having so much going on all the time. And I feel like we all enjoyed it, which is the best part. So going to sit at a field for a whole weekend, just watching your brothers play, and then you get to do it the following weekend. It was pretty special. And then as we got older, everyone was taking it a lot more serious. So, yeah, it was unreal. What's your second best sport? I would say basketball. See, all right, can I give you a little just tip here, media training?

2:34:14Yeah. You got to say lacrosse. because then it's like whoa shit yeah really he's better at something else even better yeah a little illusion like yeah lacrosse is actually my second best sport yeah yeah it's a good point just say hey listen we do media training for all of our players you can see this you're a rookie did you get rookie phased at all uh i mean a little bit yeah good yeah we are pro hazing on our team are you yeah that's good i've yeah you guys weren't a part of talking to the veteran no We just say we're pro-hazing and just go with whatever you want. We look the other way. Yeah.

2:34:48I mean, it's smart. I think that a small amount of hazing can be good for camaraderie. You just got to watch out. You know what it is? At the pro level, I feel like you don't ever have the guy that takes it too far because usually the guy that would take it too far would be the guy that sucked on the team. And so he was like, okay, I'm going to nominate myself as being in charge of hazing because that's all I'm going to do. But you don't have that when you're all really good. So with you and your brothers, where did you all go to school? What's the breakdown for colleges? Yeah, so COVID kind of mixed it all up.

2:35:17So my oldest brother, Connor, went to Villanova and then fifth year at Rutgers. And then my brother, Colin, went to Lehigh and then went to Rutgers with Connor. And then Cole went to Lehigh, played with Colin, then went to Cuse for his fifth year. And then I went to Cornell and Caden's at Rutgers. Okay. What is historically the best college for lacrosse? Johns Hopkins? Johns Hopkins, very good. Syracuse, Maryland. yeah, so I'd say those schools are up there. Cornell's not bad, though. No, Cornell's great. Cornell's pretty good. Cornell's great. How often do you guys quote Andy Bernard to each other?

2:35:53It's funny. People, they're asking around the office. We're like, oh, where'd you go? I was like, Cornell. They're like, oh, there it is. Yeah, he kind of ruined the whole Cornell thing, right? Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say ruined it, but definitely that's the first thing people think of now, which is all right. Yeah. Can't complain. Why do you run around with giant spoons, and what does that question mean? Giant spoons. Are you referring to lacrosse sticks? I think so. Yeah. Do you guys call it spoons? I would say that was a little joke when I was younger. Okay. We were calling it spoons. Okay.

2:36:21Yeah. Do you have a bigger net than most guys? No. Okay. No. I don't know where that question was going. I thought I'd take a shot. What about the sticks? Do you guys have different, are they all the same uniform, or are they different like baseball bats where one guy's like, I like a bigger stick? No, they're much different. Yeah. I mean, people put softballs in their stick to make it wider. I use Nike. I'm a big Nike guy. But there's so many different companies with so many different styles that you can change it up. So it's kind of like a hockey stick. There's different curves on it, and people like different things.

2:36:55And great players use weirder things. So it's impressive to see. Yeah. How much does it hurt to get hit by the ball? A lot. Yeah. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. It really wasn't a good question. Do you ever shoot it at the goalie just to hurt him? Be like, I don't care if I see it. I just want to hurt the guy. There's a couple of my buddies who are Canadian love doing that. So that's their thing. Yeah. That's very funny. That's a great strategy. Yeah. No, you hit them. They're hurting for the rest of the game. And it's smart. Especially when you hit them in the dome. It's like, wow, they're out for it now.

2:37:25Yeah. You just dome them up real quick. Then the next time you shoot, he's getting out of the way. He's like, I don't want to get hit again. Exactly. Our big thing is we just need to shoot more. Because I always, and this might be stupid. You can tell me if this is dumb. But I feel like it's really hard to save a 90-mile-an-hour shot. Yeah. Just shoot more. No, I'm with you. I totally agree. Does a coach ever say that to you guys? Yeah, I would say shot location is probably the more, I guess, coaching point there. But trust me, I'm a huge shooter as much as you can. Yeah. We want to take the analytics out of the game with the whole shot location, what's a quality shot.

2:37:58We just want to go just. More. Yeah. We're a big quantity over quality guy. Yeah. What would be your number in a game? I want to say 100 shots. 100 shots. Yeah. Twice. How much do you usually shoot? Me personally. Well, your team. I would say around, what, 40? Yeah, so 100 seems right. Minimum double it. 40 might be a lot too, but yeah, okay. 100 shots. 80 shots, 80 goals. That's the team motto right now, yeah. All right. Do you have like a celebration that you're known for? No, I wouldn't really say. I mean, kind of just get fired up. He just scores so many goals. What is he going to do? He just scores so many goals.

2:38:38You get exhausted with all the celebrations that you do. Yeah, that's smart. Can serve your energy. Exactly. I don't know. I mean, if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. Yeah. Maybe. I always like it when they pretend to drink out of the football, when they crack it open. Yeah. So maybe you could have a football with you that you could pretend to drink out of. Yeah. I mean, I don't have a football out there on the field. I'm just thinking about football. Maybe taking the lacrosse stick as a sword. Yeah, that's common. And then stabbing the goalie in the face or something. I don't know. I like it when Mississippi players, they crawl on all fours, and then they lift up a leg and pretend to pee.

2:39:07That's a good one, too. Yeah, pretend to pee on the net. This is my net now. Bow and air. at the goalie yeah bow yeah bow and arrow is common do they have like gun restrictions in the nba yeah you might get fined for that yeah we'll pay we're gonna talk to rabel about you'll pay for that one yeah which yeah what if you guys started picking up our fines how much how much is a fine for using your lacrosse stick as a gun and shooting it i mean i haven't done it so i don't know the number there what is the average fine because i'm actually interested in this we could become like the the al davis raiders yeah just pay all the fines what i haven't been fine but i would say a couple hundred bucks oh yeah we'll start picking up i'll pick up your fines in the semi-finals and the finals if you get fined that's coming out of our pocket yeah all right don't worry about that yeah i want you guys playing loose not worrying about the the man upstairs looking down trying to nitpick your celebrations you guys do what you do and let me and big cat take care of the tab yeah let's let's get some clips going like let's get some viral clips going of you guys being just cocky assholes if we're winning this game all right i feel like You guys are giving us an edge now.

2:40:06This is what we needed. Yes, yes. I have a real question about your championship run with Cornell. Awesome season. Obviously, like I said, most goals in college lacrosse history. And your first championship since 1977. What was it like going into that game? Did you feel some extra pressure? Like, hey, I've had an unreal career. I've done all this stuff. But if I don't win this, it's going to be a little different. The story will be different about me for better or worse. Yeah, no, I would say going into that weekend, we were there my freshman year in 2022. So we're, like, as a senior class, we're like, all right, this is great.

2:40:43Like, we're here. This is exactly where we wanted to be. And, you know, in the semifinals, we beat Penn State. It was the only loss that we had that year. So then we were like, when we beat them, we're like, I think we got the momentum that we need. Everyone had a chip on their shoulder going into Maryland, who beat us in 2022 for the championship. So I would say we had a different feeling, different confidence going into that game. and Coach Busick gave a pretty good speech beforehand about that, referencing that. Yeah, once the first whistle blew, I went off sides, which kind of sucked, and then we were manned down the first 10 seconds into the game, and then once we got through that, I feel like we all knew that we were going to get it done.

2:41:23And you played this game with a broken hand. How long did you have your broken hand in the season? I did it after the third game. Holy shit. Yeah. And did it hurt every time? What was that like? A broken hand? Yeah. Or just stopped playing? I mean, I don't know if it's pretty common in football, but guys play through injury. They get some help in that regard. So, yeah, I'd say our trainers did a great job getting me ready for game day with some extra help. You got two hands anyways. Yeah, exactly. That's why God gave you the second one. Yeah. Yeah, you'll be okay. What about the color of Gatorade you guys like to drink on the sidelines?

2:41:59What color is that? I don't know if there is a certain color that was every time, but I would say we did a mixture every week. It was called Bug Juice. Okay. Yeah. I like this. It would end up being green before games. What's in Bug Juice? It's just a mixture of all the Gatorade powder in a huge five-gallon bucket, and our trainers just mix it up. That's sick. Yeah. They're like, you guys need sugar. So, yeah. It was great. That's awesome. That's like going to a restaurant when you're a kid and getting every soda. Yeah, like 7-Eleven, getting all the slushies together. You're mixing all the powders into one and drinking bug juice.

2:42:33Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Iconic summer moments deserve an iconic drink. Reach for Mountain Dew, an American original. From its beginnings in the foothills of Tennessee to your biggest summer yet. The refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew is the perfect companion to your American summer adventures. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew. Tasting great since 48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you at MountainDew.com. That's MountainDew.com.

2:43:30given any thought to later on in your career, possibly getting into ownership, getting into team management and scooping up a team in the PLL? Yeah, I mean, you look at the ownership now in the PLL, it seems like a pretty sweet role to have. So I feel like I would love to follow in their footsteps and maybe get involved and stay in the game. I feel like it would be pretty unreal. That's a good question. You got a question about video games? After a game, tough loss or a great win, you guys heading back to the hotel or to the apartment, are you guys ripping any games? Video games, you're saying.

2:43:59If you're into that, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't think guys have been bringing their consoles on the away trips to hotels, but in college, yeah, it was more NHL at night before going out. Just a thought, could be a little bit of a momentum shift, some good bonding, four or five guys hop into a party afterwards, hop on the game. Yeah, I feel like that would be huge, especially with being in the same hotel. I feel like that would be good team camaraderie. Just something to think about, and it's safe fun, keeps you inside. You know what I mean? Exactly. Safe fun. Yep, stay up late doing that, which sounds fun.

2:44:32Yeah. Us owners don't have to worry about what they're getting into if they're all just having some safe fun on a video game. Good point, Zach. Memes, you got a question? Who's on your Mount Rushmore of Cornell lacrosse players? Oh, good question. Wow, that's a great question. Great question. So I would put Amy McEnany. So I'm going way back to 70s. So I would put Amy McEnany, Attackman, won national championship with my second guy Mike French Canadian then I would put Rob Pinnell up there Whip Snake but he was unreal player and then I'd also put Max Sebald so Rob Pinnell and Max Sebald also won the Tourton as well so that's my four what about yourself I mean no we gotta have some confidence here you're on the Mount Rushmore get yourself on there All right, so who's off?

2:45:29Who's off? Yeah. Whip snake. The whip snake? Yeah. I guess so. All right. Who is that? Paul? Rob. Rob. See Rob. Sorry, Rob. Brutal. Do you think could lacrosse players from the 1970s compete with the modern day? I mean, the game, the technology of the sticks, night and day now. But I would say they were a different breed. So, yeah, I would say athletically for sure. Yeah. What was the difference of the game back then? I mean, it was no shot clock. The sticks were barely made out of plastic at that point. So I don't know. I mean, it's just like hockey. Like I said earlier, the sticks are just a completely different game.

2:46:11It changed the sport. Yeah, I feel like any sport like that back in the day, probably some really tough guys because you just get in the face, spitting out teeth, spitting blood, and you're like, I don't care. I'm a lacrosse player. I'm going to keep playing. Yeah, exactly. Not to say you guys aren't tough right now, but it's like that whole mentality of playing back when there was like not any attention at all on lacrosse and doing it just for the love of it. Like that's a different breed of guy. Yeah, they were all in frats at that time too at Cornell. So I even tip my cap a little bit more to those guys and those alums.

2:46:39Yeah. All right, CJ, best of luck. Monday, noon Eastern, Waterdogs, Atlas, semifinals. We are covering all fines that are incurred in that game. Let's go win another chip. And then beer's on us. The tab is on us if we can win a championship. Let's do it. Let's do it. Thanks for having me. All right. Thanks so much, man. Yep. If your hair isn't performing like it used to, the answer isn't another hat. It's a proactive approach. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand. It's also NSF certified for sport and the official hair growth partner of Major League Baseball.

2:47:18The only hair growth supplement trusted by the pros. Visit Nutrafol.com, enter promo code PMT, get$10 off your first month's subscription, and you get free shipping. That's N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com, promo code PMT. And today. And now, Firefest of the Week. Okay, Firefest of the Week. Henry. Yeah. What do you got? I told a story about hiding a gun on a podcast earlier. Yeah. It's a good story. Statute of limitations. Yeah, hopefully. and then yesterday we did we did a barcel after dark we talked about it um was atv the pro volleyball tour chase buttinger san diego smash uh i was like pros versus joes we got smoked and going into it my whole time i was like i just want to not you know get injured like we're old now i'm always constantly thinking is this something where if i tried too hard i could get hurt taking you know spikes from professional volleyball players was like yeah so i was like i'm not going of put myself in the line of fire did a good job during that at volleyball our softball team uh they needed a sub i didn't play in the summer because we weren't here but i was like yeah i'll sub in for the game didn't get hurt during volleyball went to softball and i got stepped on fully stepped on with a spike basically punctured through my cleats and into my toe and my toe has just been absolutely throbbing all day the worst is it bleeding it was bleeding last night it's not It wasn't bleeding today.

2:48:48How'd you get stepped on? Show feet. It was like, I was playing first base. Meems was playing catcher. Play it first. A little bit high. I jumped up, and when I came down, it was a bang, bang play. The runner didn't do anything wrong, but my foot came down at the same time as the runner was running and just ran over my foot. Let's see the toesies. I'm sorry, Hank. If you think if the throw was there, would you have been okay? Hmm? If the throw had been good, would you have been okay? Yeah, you got stepped on pretty good. Did memes do something to screw you over? No, no. It's the game. The ball slipped out of my hand, and I just immediately went, oh, no.

2:49:27And it went 10 feet over his head. So he had to jump, come down, and the kid went full speed into Hank. Yeah. And I then gave him a speech like a disappointed father. I launched it. I was like fundamental baseball, dude. That's what I said to him. literally after he threw the ball. It was like fundamental baseball. He threw behind two runners with one out. There was a guy on second and third. Both scored. Oh, no. And then that led to like seven other runs. We were the bad news bears. We were the bad news bears. So the other team kicked our ass. But, Hank, you're going to be okay? You're going to make it through Oasis?

2:50:03Yeah, I mean, it's going to be, you know, we're going to have to battle. Are you going to sing to all the songs? Not all the songs. I think I've seen the set list, I think, the last like 10 or so. I'm not like a, I don't know. I'm going with Robbie Fox. I think he's going to be singing every single lyric to every single song. I'm excited for the, you know, the last like 10. What's your favorite song? My favorite song? Probably Master Plan. Oh. Master Plan, Don't Look Back in Anger. Nice. I'm fired up. It's going to be awesome. 80 ,000 people singing these songs. It's going to be biblical. And you're going to be in a football stadium.

2:50:36Football stadium, yeah. You're going to be as close to football, as much as you love football. You're going to be there. Yeah. Okay. pft bucket hat hank bucket hat bucket um can i instead of fire fest of the week can i do jordan of the week sure it's the same jordan that it's always been did you know that would be great if it was different no it's it's the same jordan she's putting up a dynasty right now um we also we screwed up by not talking with tom and brandon at all about bill belichick at unc which yeah be a very interesting thing thing to follow uh jordan and bill have trademarked the phrase gold digger i thought that was interesting that they did that very interesting why do you think they did that i don't know hank do you know why they why can you even can you trademark that they did no they tried to did they officially do it i don't know file for trademark i don't think you can just i think i don't think you can trademark a phrase like this can you it's yeah i mean kanye probably owns it it's very well known he's not getting along well as lawyers though no okay so shout out to jordan she's got a number of of things that she's filed for they're just they're being very industrious jordan's looking out for for the future of her maybe husband yeah um yeah i feel like husband is coming soon i think they might be secret married Is this your addiction to secret agreements?

2:52:02Yeah, secret agreements I mean, Travis and Taylor were secret engaged for a couple weeks Terry signed a secret extension I think maybe they're secretly married Be classic Belichick Would be classic Belichick My other fire fest of the week is just that I lost three laptops within the span of about 30 hours How? Alright, so I have my original laptop Back from 2016 that I got when we started part of my take. That's what I've been using. Even though Pete's tried to give me new laptops before. I'm like, I kind of like my old one. I like the keys. Yeah. Whose laptop is this? All right. So I'll get to that.

2:52:41I just noticed the stickers. I'll get to that in a second. And I took that on the road with me and I left it in the hotel in New York City on Friday. and I was already out of the city when I realized that I left the laptop behind. I didn't really feel like calling the place and then having them ship it back to me. And it also is a bad laptop now. It doesn't really work that well. So I just figured - Whoa, whoa, breaking moves. Holy shit. The Cowboys traded Micah Parsons. Oh, Micah Parsons. Is this real? Yeah, it's real. Micah Parsons to the green. Do you see how I thought it was fake? because Schefter said Cowboys are trading three-time All-Pro Micah Packers to the Green Bay Packers.

2:53:28Yeah. They reached an agreement on a four-year,$188 million contract. Fuck! Fuck!

2:53:40Fuck! That's bad. I'm very happy. I am not happy. I'm extremely happy. A great deal by Jerry Jones. Probably getting a haul back from that. rebuild the entire franchise. Let's see. What are they being? What are they traded for? This is bad. Highest paid non quarterback in NFL history. This is bad. Great trade by Jerry Jones. This is bad. He's done it again. God fucking damn it. It's how do you let the fucking Packers get him? Packers got fleeced. This is awesome. Great job, Jerry. You said a great trade by Jerry Jones. How many picks? I want to encourage this type of activity from him. We don't know yet.

2:54:33Oh, man. And you know what's worse is I saw a tweet earlier today that was like, Micah Parsons just started following Caleb Williams. Like literally? Yeah. Yeah, no, that was now it makes sense in the bad way. So he knew where he was going to go and he started following all the ops. Yeah. God damn it. All right. Processing, processing, processing, processed, bad, processed. Great. You know what? They probably overpaid. That's what I'm going to say. They don't have any first round picks for the next infinity. Yeah. Yeah. This is bad. This is bad. Okay. All right. Yeah, that's fine. We're fine. Pick out two of fire fest.

2:55:29Fine. Yeah. Mine was going to be that my daughter started watching K-pop show that's on Netflix now and I want to kill myself. But now Michael Parsons is a Packer and I really want to kill myself. All right. Back to the computers. God damn it. How many picks? Tell me how many picks. I have a question for you. How many fucking picks? Do you think it's a possibility that Jerry talked to Nico?

2:55:52Maybe. Maybe. Nico, I got a question. How do I handle this guy? Fuck Nico. How do I handle this? I haven't said it in a while. There's a little rascal here. Oh, dude. That's so much money. Wait. And that's only two first rounders? Why wasn't it three? You know what? I'm just going to go with Packers Fleeced and just mute that tweet. Right? Yeah. Okay. Packers Fleeced. Does everyone feel like that's a good cope? No, that was my initial reaction because I want to encourage Jerry Jones to keep doing this stuff. All right. Everyone agree? Memes, you cool with that? That was good. Yeah, I'm shocked.

2:56:36I don't know why you would trade him in the NFC. yeah and also like he's really fucking good and he's 26 years old and he's gonna be really good for a while and now these first round picks are probably gonna be late round picks i want to know what other teams reached out because if it's just two first round picks i feel like other teams would offer that right all right i'm gonna do you know what i'm gonna go i'm gonna go all caps fleeced what do you guys think about that and then i'm gonna follow it up with saying yes this is a cope and then I'm going to mute the whole thing.

2:57:13This is crazy.

2:57:18First so it stands. All right. You got our live reaction. Fuck. That's my fire fest. And also the K-pop stuff. The K-pop stuff, it sounds tough. It's tough. Aaron was telling me about that yesterday. It's his biggest enemy. I don't know why Netflix did that. They did it to all of us with children. There's just a K-pop animated show that is now, what is it called? It's K-pop All-Stars or something. I don't know. It's... Oh, K-pop Demon Hunters. That's it. Yeah. Hank, talk. I have the hiccups. Damn, this is... Micah Parsons and the Packers gave me the hiccups. Micah Parsons, Luka Doncic, both 26 years old.

2:57:59Both traded away from Dallas. Tough. That's wild. Tough for Dallas. I feel like you... That was going to suck. If you're Jerry Jones, you should probably want to trade him out of the conference. You want to trade him out of the NFL? Yeah. we really could have used Micah Parsons on the Bears. Really could have used him. Really could have used him. Okay. I feel like every team should have been calling about him. Yeah. He's 26 years old. I said three first-rounders. No problem. It was a conversation we had when this first started, when people were like, we should do the Khalil Mack thing again. Khalil Mack was good.

2:58:36Khalil Mack was the right move. It was the quarterback that didn't progress in the right timeline. when you can get a player that is this good and this young like ask yourself this and now i'm defending the packers but will there be a player in the next two drafts in the let's call it 15 to 25 range where the packers will most likely be picking that will be better than micah parsons the answer is no i gotta see what skip bayless has to say oh yeah yeah let's look this up real quick come on skip yeah all right our good friend tom fornelli is texting me uh he said fuck so there we go we're on the same page uh okay back to the laptops please just tell me about your laptops let's think about something else okay back to the laptops so i i leave one in the hotel room in new york it's been i've had that laptop for the last uh nine years so it's not really working that great leave it there then i'm just like you know what maybe it's just meant to stay there maybe this is a good way for me to just move on from that laptop clean break so i just don't inquire about the laptop yep i think to myself i've got another laptop that i've used from time to time back at the office okay come back to the office i don't know where the laptop is i don't know where i put it sometime in the last two weeks i've misplaced that laptop then i've got a third laptop so i'm like okay i've got one at home i can bring that in i'll bring it in go to a gas station on the way in get out walk inside and while i'm inside somebody steals my laptop what yeah didn't realize somebody stole it until just leave it sitting on like the front seat it may have been very visible but i don't like to lock the el camino yeah um can you lock the el camino yeah it's yes you can lock the el camino good question hey you have to you have to lean over and press the thing down oh you can't reach and then that's not what i meant by it's just a pain in the ass i can i can i have a wand that i use for my car locking wand uh and so i know exactly who stole my laptop the problem oh because you have the tracking no oh the problem with me knowing exactly who stole my laptop is i don't want to describe the person to anybody because the person looks exactly like me oh the guy was inside the gas station in front of me trying to return a phone charger at least the case to a phone charger that he had removed and tried to return it to get like 15 bucks cash yeah from the cashier and she was like no i can't take this back you very clearly just stole the thing out of it now you're trying to get money out of it right this guy was not he was not there for any good reason right and he looked exactly like me and so i can't be like yeah be on the lookout for me for me a white guy approximately um close to six feet tall mustache glasses, long hair.

3:01:24That's your man. I can't describe that guy to anybody. So whose laptop is this? So this is a laptop that Pete gave me to do streaming on. Probably a lot of cum on it. Back in 2020, the keys are very sticky and nothing is saved on this. So I'm having to log out, log back into everything. So we're making do on this. This is an away game, but I think this is now my laptop that I'm going to be using. Oh, man. So that's kind of a fire fest. and then I you have that moment when you go through like a real bad have your laptop or Micah Parsons on your rival team uh I would trade every computer I have to get Micah Parsons off my rival team yeah like there's no could be worse there's no better feeling in the world than when Micah Parsons leaves your rival team it's awesome I highly recommend to everybody out there try it at least once perspective yeah so big hat you might get that joy one day yeah true when he's like 35 in a hall of famer yeah when he's gone uh zach great trade jerry fire fest uh my fire fest of the week uh i guess uh a little bit of backstory uh yesterday night i did go on a date it was a lot of fun uh we we played mini golf got some drinks but uh my fire fest is that i shot a 51 on nine all right i went into it solid score yeah really wanted to be like you know golf is a man's sport i'll look so so sophisticated as a man if i can sink these putts and then i just none of the holes went well so how was the date though uh date was a lot of fun great time the mini golf not so much will there be another date uh there could possibly be another day yes sir exact question yes sir was this date number two or was this date number one this was this was a second date let's go all right so how did you manage that because i know that there were some questions about reaching back out to schedule the second date we just there were just some scheduling conflicts last couple weeks uh people were out of town i was out of town they were out of town but they just uh circled back to uh a dateable scenario so did you did you apologize for not reaching back out uh certainly i i i i was very transparent about being terrible at uh Texting, and we might pivot to phone calls.

3:03:34Love that. That's smart. Pivot to phone calls. That plays. Maybe a FaceTime situation. The most important question here, what did she shoot? She shot, I think, she had a couple of rough holes as well because the digital scorecard only let you log six holes each hole, but I think she was like high 20s, so I got smoked. Okay. So, yeah, you let her win. What a gentleman. She beat you by 20 strokes. there there's a high teens i don't want to say 20 but not way more strokes than you would like to get beat by in a mini golf tournament on a date so many more strokes oh man that's good i'm happy you went on a date thank you big cut yeah we have a statement from micah parsons now okay let's hear it uh let's see growing up in harrisburg pennsylvania i was one of few kids in my neighborhood who cheered for the dallas cowboys blah blah blah blah blah blah blah you You embraced me.

3:04:27My family is my own. I never wanted this chapter to end, but not everything was in my control. My heart has always been here. It still is. Through it all, I never made any demands. I never asked for anything more than fairness. I only asked the person I trust to negotiate my contract to be part of the process. It's a sad day, but not a bitter one. I'll never forget the joy of draft night, the adrenaline of running out of the tunnel, or the brotherhood I shared with my teammates, coaches, and staff who prepared me for every single game. Those memories are mine forever. North Texas will continue to be my home in the offseason.

3:04:55I'll still be here giving back to the community that gave me so much and no matter where the next chapter takes me The bond we've built will never break. Thank you Cowboys nation for every cheer every moment Every ounce of love you showed me wearing the star has been the honor of my life with gratitude and love 11 Wow Should have stayed If you loved it so much No, no Listen, sometimes this is business NFL is a business Cowboys are just gonna suck Hank, as a Cowboys fan, how does this affect you? I think they are. They're going to be terrible. I don't know about terrible. It's good for the... The offense is still good.

3:05:34Good for the commies. The offense is very good. Take the team away from Jerry Jones. No. He's senile. No. Give him more responsibility. He's senile. Take it away. Let the man do what he loves. You know how much money Jerry Jones has made the NFL? We have to be supportive of Jerry. It's so nice if you have a rookie QB knowing he's not in your division anymore. yeah for young qb second year qb yeah it is it's really good like there's it's so awesome it's so you laugh about memes no hank hank is making a great point hank's just making points hank knows ball this is great two what is it gonna be two times a year for the next twice a year for forever and like that's a guy that even if you have a quarterback that you're really happy about like i'm not looking forward to dallas week i'm not looking forward to michael parsons getting Even if they're bad, even if the team is bad.

3:06:22Right. Number's three. He's still great. I'm going to take 11. I'm going to take number 11.

3:06:3122. I'll allow this one. No hate towards you.

3:06:40College football is all I care about right now. We'll deal with this later. We'll deal with this when we deal with it. This is a next week problem. This is totally a next week problem. I don't think we play the Packers for a while anyway. Who knows? All right. What do you guys got? Numbers. I have three. I took 11 for Micah. I think we play, I can't remember what the first. Yeah, December 7th and then the end of the season. We got a long time to worry about this. A long time to worry about this. I'll do 50. I see it behind PFT. 46. 76 19 I also found a home for Mr. Parr

3:07:2945 What'd you guys have? You had 46? Oh man So close Tough break Love you guys Love you Jerry

3:07:48Thank you.

3:08:19Thank you.

3:08:49Thank you.

3:09:18We'll be right back.

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