Emergency Jaylen Brown Trade Reaction + Timm Woods And The Return Of Dungeons And Dragons

14:18Big Cat:The swap is the most confusing thing. I tried to read it like five times this morning. I think it probably will be the Clippers pick. Okay. That's a very good asset. We've been holding on to that asset for the right moment. But to pair that asset with Paul George, who many have said is the worst contract in the NBA, and bring back Jalen Brown seems... Not Wendy. Not Wendy. Wendy didn't say there was another contract that was worse. Yeah. I can't remember what that contract is.

14:49PFT Commenter:Well, your boy Wendy didn't help you this time, Hank, because he said that for the Sixers to get off of Paul George's contract, they would have had to trade a first-round pick. So essentially, the Sixers just got Jalen Brown for free. They would have had to do that just to get rid of Paul George's contract. They somehow got Jalen Brown on top of it.

15:16Big Cat:Shout out Mike Gantz. He's doing a hell of a job to start his tenure in Philadelphia. Hank, have you allowed yourself to think maybe Brad Stevens has a secret plan? Yeah. No, that's all I've been saying to myself. I don't know what that plan is. How wild have you allowed yourself to daydream about what the secret plan might be? Have you thought maybe Jokic? I just hope there's another move coming. Jokic would be awesome. I don't think that's possible. But I didn't think Jalen Brown going to trade to the Sixers was possible.

15:49PFT Commenter:I don't think it's happening this year. Yeah, I think the Celtics are basically saying this year we're resetting and then next year maybe. Jokic could definitely be in the realm of possibility. Hank, how many times did you read the tweet to be like, how is this real? Because that was the same. Everyone was like, what the fuck? How is this?

16:07Big Cat:I think I said that right away in the video. I was like, this is not real. Like, I was hammered. And I was like, this is just not. Everything was happening all at once. And I was like, this is not real. I'm not on this fucking island and like Jalen Brown is not going to be playing for this. Like the, the picture of him in the Sixers Jersey, like is so preposterous. I like can't even believe it. And it's like, I'm not even, I'm so much more mad about Jalen Brown. Like the Paul George thing is like, that's going to bother me when they're playing next year. That hasn't really like set in as much as it's just like, how is he on the Sixers?

16:43Big Cat:Like the Paul George thing will come when the season starts.

16:46PFT Commenter:you have delayed onset paul george like you haven't even registered paul george and then night one of the nba season paul george is gonna be wearing the celtics jersey and you're gonna be

16:56Big Cat:like oh fuck this happened why don't these teams tweet any of these trades it might not be real are you still thinking that it's not gonna happen i don't know why like you never know

17:10PFT Commenter:that's where you're at right now that because the celtics team account hasn't tweeted it It could just be fake.

17:19Big Cat:I just don't get it. The Sixers haven't tweeted it either. I don't understand it. This all might be just a figment of Sham's imagination. But like what? Yeah, I don't know. How many?

17:30PFT Commenter:No, I don't think so. I think they do it when it's officially done. Like they still have to. Like, I don't think it's officially been done. Got it. You still have a chance. how do you think they broke the news to deuce oh man hank i was real upset about that yes probably jason tatum like he it's not like i i think they're the long years of jason tatum versus jalen brown were probably overstated they won a championship together but i mean if jason it is his franchise if he wanted him he could have kept them right yeah wouldn't you agree hank

18:13Big Cat:it's the salary. Right. It's not like it was a personal thing. It's also crazy that they could have gotten... They could have made a move for Giannis. They missed out on Giannis. But you wouldn't give up Hugo.

18:30PFT Commenter:Hugo is a big piece.

18:32Big Cat:You just held on to that and run with it to the fucking hills. It hasn't been a solid fact that it was like Hugo Gonzalez was the one reason that trade didn't happen. Shams talked about that. He reported it and discussed it pretty – But if they put in Hugo, he would have come to Boston? No, he said that the trade got held up for two reasons. One, because the Celtics didn't want to part with their young pieces that they looked at very favorably like Shireman and Hugo. and then two because Haslam is a creative star is demanding trades because of what happened to Myles Garrett. So he's like, maybe I don't want Jalen Brown after all.

19:17Big Cat:So, right. Do you think it was more Jalen Brown or more fucking Hugo Gonzalez? I mean, they reported that the Celtics did not want to part with Hugo and Baylor. They also reported the Haslam thing, which was probably more prevalent to the trade.

19:31PFT Commenter:But in what PFT is saying, though, what if Haslam's like, I don't want two stars in Hugo and Jalen Brown, because then they could both ask out. Right.

19:42Big Cat:Right. Right. Just do one.

19:45PFT Commenter:Right. Right. Zach, you're here. Emergency pod. You were here on time. What's up, dude? Where's memes? Zach, did you sleep last night? Where is me?

19:58Big Cat:I did.

20:00PFT Commenter:but zach when you saw it were you shocked are you you i feel like you were the one of the first people to respond you were like ready to go if the emergency pod button was being hit i was watching

20:10Big Cat:it pretty heavily yesterday yeah i wasn't sure i felt like it could happen anytime i feel bad nobody deserves to get fleeced on an island so that's tough you know so you're saying fleecing I mean, yeah, confirmed. And I don't have – I'm not an educated guy when it comes to contracts or players. Yep, I agree. That's why I got ahead of it. But, yeah, Paul George, that's tough.

20:39PFT Commenter:Hank, you're being mean, Hank. You're being mean.

20:42Big Cat:No, Hank is – Hank's putting on a master class right now.

20:45PFT Commenter:You need to get the mic in front of him no more because he keeps saying shit and I can't hear it.

20:50Big Cat:Hank, I got a question. are we sure that Jalen Brown is going to be a good fit for the Sixers? I'm not a Sixers guy, so I don't know.

20:59PFT Commenter:What about how do you think Paul George is going to fit with Hugo?

21:04Big Cat:He'll be good. I think he's a vet. He can stay healthy. He can contribute. He played well against the Celtics in the playoffs. People forget that.

21:13PFT Commenter:Yeah. Yeah, he actually was awesome in that series.

21:16Big Cat:so if he can you know if he can stay healthy he can have similar production to jalen brown

21:23PFT Commenter:how was it meeting all of that meme i want to talk about mitchell wrongs did wait what do you say how was how was meeting max's friends and everyone on this island yesterday i i met him briefly they were fine like it was it was they were all they're all

21:42Big Cat:pretty good he left but he was my high school friends were out to dinner late last night so he has not gotten the full dose today's today's like you have a Boston friend that's coming into that's coming in today like a die diehard Boston guy coming in today so he's gonna have

21:59PFT Commenter:one one reinforcement you guys are gonna be like boondock saints going back to back just spinning at the wedding party yeah okay hey do you want my spin zones no why let's talk

22:11Big Cat:love soccer because they're going to be stupid and i'm not going to like them

22:16PFT Commenter:this is mean all right bfd i'll tell you all right so the first one is pretty simple uh that like i said to hank when you go to a wedding and you are hank is going to a wedding we all love max that is he knows not a ton of max's like family and friends he knows his brothers from the max's bachelor party stuff hank is a famous guy let's just be honest so he's gonna have to do small talk it was going to be a lot of like hey how you doing you know you can't great at this but now small talk completely solved it's going to be paul george bing bong uh jalen brown bing bong so that's good please that's good hank all right uh did hank here's a good spin zone this is actually only this is only the second worst trade that paul george has been involved in so that's it's not the worst still SGA right yeah so that's something to hang your hat on um Hank what are we doing right now waiting for memes to join the call we're podcasting right you just traded you just

23:27Big Cat:got rid of a streamer and got a podcaster I yeah that's I mean come on dude you I think you're just as upset about Paul George being on this team than Jalen Brown being off. Yeah. I've talked a lot of shit about Paul George. I'm like, there's no... Paul P? Podcast P? There's one thing that me and my brothers were talking about at the rehearsal dinner where we found out that Jalen Brown got traded to the Sixers. We kept talking about how in Game 7 we just kept saying, Jalen Brown, really good player. Jalen Brown, really good player. We said it like 50 times during that game. And then last night we just kept looking at each other when there was like a little bit of silence to be like Jalen Brown, really good player.

24:11PFT Commenter:Really good player. It did. We've already established that. We established that at your bachelor party, Jalen Brown, really good player. Okay. You don't like the podcast or over streamer thing. Nope. Okay. How about this one? Future podcast is the past. Okay. How about this one? This, this trade is so bad that maybe that maybe people will stop asking Brad Stevens to say no. Everyone in basketball will stop being like, we need Brad Stevens to coach or GM our team.

24:45Big Cat:Brad Stevens has got more cooking. He's not done yet. And then you're going to have to take all that back.

24:52PFT Commenter:Well, no. I mean, I'm just saying this is good. It's probably annoying that people keep saying his name every time this comes up, right? You. No, I say he's got to say no, but like other you know different basketball schools and everything just like hey you got to make Brad Steven say no I don't think I've ever said that um Paul George's dog do you remember Paul George's dog I don't know I was trying to look I think his dog's name is Kobe uh I don't know if his dog's still alive but his dog the famous picture where his dog was tea tea bagging Paul George um just his balls out everywhere on that couch I was thinking now that kind of a famous dog on the Celtics.

25:31PFT Commenter:We can get him a Hank dog toy and help sell more of those spin zone. Okay.

25:40Big Cat:Okay.

25:43PFT Commenter:Okay. All right. All right. Last spin zone because obviously you don't like this, but maybe Hank maybe this is finally rock bottom this year. How so? Well, I mean, we've you get upset when we bring this up, but this has not been the best year sports-wise. Live. Super Bowl. Live is still going.

26:08Big Cat:The Patriots made the Super Bowl. The Celtics won the number two seed with their best player injured. They won the number two seed? They were the number two seed party as early. That's going to be it. Shane, you're going to have to make a quote for that one. All right. Can I list it?

26:24PFT Commenter:Hank, and then you can just tell me. Maybe this is not rock bottom. Super Bowl loss. live golf canceled celtics lose to the sixers while we're at matches max's bachelor party soccer becomes huge and the u.s men's team beats your bosnia herzegovians duke buzzer beater loss having to golf as a lefty with a righty handicap nick's title jalen brown usa beat dominican republic that's a lot hank yeah it's been bad so this could be it this could be the bottom and then what do you go up only only place to go is up i don't know i'm scared you know what happens then i could go it could be worse you go up imagine if you traded hugo oh my god no no if

27:16Big Cat:If you trade Hugo, you have to quit the Celtics.

27:21PFT Commenter:Oh, man. Okay, anything else, Hank?

27:24Big Cat:Hank, is there anything that's making you – is it a little bit better that Max has almost reached that point where he's a little bit uncomfortable with how bad this fleecing is? He almost – you can tell he feels bad for you. I have not felt that at all, really. Okay. He's just been laughing in my face. I have been very respectful. I've been very respectful for it. The video last night, you were just... Well, that was a little bit different. You're dead. I was excited to see you, dude. I was excited. There were so many people at the bar. This is a joyous time.

28:07Big Cat:Real quick, if the Celtics rebuild and they get back to the NBA Finals, let's say in like 2029, Let's say they win another chip in 2029. That's a different team. The core is completely different without Jalen Brown. I don't know that you could consider the Celtics to ever even be eligible for team of the 2020s because it's going to be two different iterations of the team. It's the team of the 2020s, right? Yeah, but I mean, like totally different team without Jalen Brown. but it's the team not the core just something that I thought about wanted to get your feedback on also I was wondering if you thought that maybe like this could have all been solved if you get like Joe Missoula and a bunch of guys out maybe they go out to Toscano's table for six you get Brad Stevens, Chisholm I did think this clearly one three hour dinner I think you can fix this the case.

29:11Big Cat:Yeah, I don't think that's the case. I think something was going on with Jill and Brown and Brad Stevens. That was not going to get fixed and they knew that.

29:20PFT Commenter:Hank, have you thought about wearing white to Max's wedding day because people are going to want to talk to you more than Max or his bride? No. Okay, you should think about that.

29:30Big Cat:Hank does just have a, he just has a body double this entire week. Him and Jack McCarthy got the exact same outfits. They wore the same shirt last night. They have another shirt that's the same and then they have the same suit for the wedding. We don't know if it's the same suit, but it probably is the same suit.

29:45PFT Commenter:Okay, so you can just send him in, but Hank, you should you actually, I think Max I'm going to speak on your behalf Max, I think Hank should be allowed to go table to table during the dinner party and greet everyone because cut out the middle man everyone's going to want to talk to him anyway.

30:05Big Cat:Hank's going to be the bell of the ball.

30:06PFT Commenter:yeah he should wear a wedding dress and just go table to table and be like thank you so much for coming would you like to talk about the jill and brown paul george trade imagine if you guys thank god you guys welcome yeah you would be it would be bad if bft and i were there you'd have to leave you'd have to leave the island he's thinking about it right now he's like i would have had to leave that hank would have would have been like swimming it would have been escape from alcatraz you would just swam back to America. I don't even know where St. Martin is. I'm thinking about getting a flight there right now.

30:44Big Cat:I have an open seat if you would like to come, BFD. Can I come? I'll sit on his lap.

30:51PFT Commenter:We'll both share. Oh, man. Anything else, Hank? Where's memes?

30:58Big Cat:Mitchell Robinson. Where's memes? That's a good point by Hank. Mitchell Robinson. and like, yeah, it's called the greatest basketball player of all time. I want to talk to him about it.

31:09PFT Commenter:I actually think that's a smart move for, for the Celtics. Yeah. Yeah. If you shoot a bunch of threes, get a bunch of rebounds. Also, the Lakers are just, uh, they're doing like the plot to Hoosiers. I don't really understand. It's very funny. Walker Kessler for a lot of money. Austin Reeves resigned. Who else did they get?

31:34Big Cat:It was the scrappiest 20 minutes in the history of NBA free agency. Like 20 minutes, they got three of these guys.

31:40PFT Commenter:And they don't own, I think, like another pick for seven years now. They just went all in for the, which, I mean, I guess they did. There's the famous, they sat down with Luca and showed him a binder last year, basically being like, hey. I also saw very funny because LeBron has said that he's, the reports have been out there that LeBron is going to go anywhere. Like he, he's going to be, he's open to be being courted by every team. And then the Spurs are officially out because they signed Tobias Harris. So they have their LeBron. They don't need it. So it's good. All right. Any, anything else?

32:18PFT Commenter:And then we'll talk real quick. PFT, Hank, you got anything else?

32:26PFT Commenter:This is bad. Max, where's me?

32:29Big Cat:where's memes I've had a good time I've had a good time I don't know how Jalen Brown's going to fit but I'm excited to see this journey I've heard from Hank that he's such a good player and that he's such a good guy that you want to have on your team I'm excited that he's on my team that's the last thing I will say did you get yelled at at all yesterday? zero my wife was so excited about how excited me and my brothers were

32:57PFT Commenter:Oh, that's awesome. That's a great one. That's great. And also, she saw how sad Hank was.

33:07Big Cat:I don't even know if, I don't even think Hank saw her last night. I saw her. And her dad, you guys don't care about her dad. Her poor father. Her dad was in bigger, more hell than I was. Yeah, that's true.

33:21PFT Commenter:Alright, I just texted memes asking where he is. PFT, you were at the game last night. It was awesome. yeah the biggest eye roll ever

33:34Big Cat:what's the matter hank we should pod tomorrow

33:39PFT Commenter:it just eye rolled and then collapsed off screen oh my god okay real quick like in three minutes tell us

33:47Big Cat:uh yeah it was an awesome game we dominated fucked the ref it's bullshit fifa needs to change their rule Well, we need to lobby FIFA. Agreed. I'm talking about the Balogun red card that he got. Yeah, he scored a great goal. Tillman had a great free kick, and I've been saying, like, Tillman's due. He was going to score eventually. That was an awesome free kick that he had. But the red card is really what's kind of overshadowing what should be just like an awesome win. That is the – I think we've won three games in 19 days, and we've won three World Cup games in the previous 24 years. Yeah, I saw this.

34:24PFT Commenter:So this is a pretty good World Cup. It's also we've won three games by multiple goals. And in the previous rest of the history of U.S. men's national team, I think we won three World Cup games by multiple goals. So it's great.

34:37Big Cat:Yeah, it's been great. But, yeah, overshadowing the whole thing is the Balog and red card, which is bullshit. VAR was used when it shouldn't be used. And they looked at a slow-mo replay, and they thought that they could, like, ascribe intent or violent conduct to, like, something that happened in like a split second bullshit red card and um i think it's just a terrible rule that if you get a red card from a game that you're also suspended for the next game yeah you're already serving your punishment by by sitting out the rest of that game and your team has to go down one player why do you have to sit out the next game and also i don't think that it should have been red card and i think that fifa should overturn it i think that if you've got a guy that is the reigning FIFA peace prize holder.

35:21Big Cat:This is why he has that type of award and that type of power. I hope that president Trump gets on the phone with FIFA and tell us, Hey, let Balogun play.

35:29PFT Commenter:We need that. We need the Texas tech stores. We judge. That's the guy.

35:34Big Cat:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just, just whatever, whatever we can do, we need to do because we're we can beat Belgium. We can, but it's going to be way, way harder without Balogun because he's the, like probably the best pure striker that we've ever had. I know it's crazy to say that after just like four games, but in terms of just like being a pure striker and a finisher, he's the best that we've had. Maybe, you know, you can say Clint Dempsey, but he was never really like a true striker, but we need him. We need him because Pepe looks like Bambi trying to walk on ice for the first time. That's not going to work out.

36:08Big Cat:No. So I don't know what else we do, but it was an awesome time. I saw the substation up close. I gotta say that substation is really fucking big

36:22Big Cat:it's way bigger than I thought it would be it goes like half the stadium so now I might be a substation truther now

36:32PFT Commenter:I saw your video it looked massive looked like an incredible game one of those games I was sitting on my couch just being like fuck yeah they tried to screw us the free kick was incredible Yep. Hank, you agree? Yeah.

36:46Big Cat:Fur Kikos cool.

36:48PFT Commenter:Okay. All right. So Sunday we'll be back. Actually, no. Hank and Max will not be there because you guys will be in flight. You guys will be joining us. We're going to be going to Tahoe for chill week, but the rest of us will be back in studio. And now we have what? Two hours? Oh, Memes just texted back. He was on a flight. So that's where Memes was. that makes sense, right? That's a valid excuse. Valid. Would you agree, Hank? Yeah. Okay.

37:23Big Cat:At any point last night, but...

37:26PFT Commenter:That is true. We were planning this last night. He did not mention that at all. PFT just asked for a comment on Mitchell Robinson for Habica. All right. Let's do that Sunday night. Oh! Oh!

37:40Big Cat:Ding-bang! Ding-bang! Bing Bong, you thought you were going to go to a beautiful island and get away from everything and get away from Mr. Bing Bong. But Mr. Bing Bong is stronger than ever. You'll never get him to retire, no matter how many mass holes. Say, Mr. Bing Bong sucks. And I know it's all Hanky's friends from Massachusetts, or as we call them, mass holes, which is a play on words of the anus. Bing Bong.

38:10PFT Commenter:No joking. Mr. Bing Bong is stronger than ever. I got to tell you, I was feeling down about Mr. Bing Bong. Look, I'm walking my beautiful dogs. Get outside, Hanky. You're a bird. Tweet, tweet.

38:25PFT Commenter:I was really down on Mr. Bing Bong. And then I went to that parade. And yes, I wasn't wearing a Knicks jersey. My daughter didn't pack the Enobi jersey that I bought her. And she wanted to wear it because she was taking pictures to the gram. and all I had was a PBS shirt, which is sort of the antithesis of James Dolan. But whatever, man, that's what I had it. I support public broadcasting and so do a lot of people in Boston. So you shouldn't have been so critical of that, messholes.

38:54Big Cat:Hey, let me just say this is – come here. Let me show you my beautiful dogs. Set this up. Sorry. Hey, it's Mr. Bing Bong. He's here for you. Those are great dogs.

39:08PFT Commenter:great dog man they're so good look at those dogs look at this it's a beautiful dog jr

39:17Big Cat:but you know what i will say i am going to defend um hank here i don't know what's going to happen with this trade you know on paper yes it looks like boston lost but jaylen brown could be we could be entering james harden territory with this dude you know just something to think about Hank like Hank don't be don't be totally bummed out I didn't hear this whole conversation before but like don't be totally bummed out like Jalen Brown that was some crazy shit he was saying at the end of last season and I just I don't know I wouldn't I wouldn't be super depressed yet Hank

40:05PFT Commenter:mm-hmm that's good that's nice he is on a island full of delentes jerry

40:11Big Cat:guys can you believe someone agreed to marry max delente

40:18Big Cat:i'm so happy for him it's like i'm here oh sorry sorry max she's uh she's a beautiful like serious like no mr bing bong for a second gorgeous like you're gonna have beautiful babies it's uh you're lucky to have her don't uh don't uh don't pull anything that other early barstool uh employees pulled okay we won't go there um hey uh they're gonna say don't blow it like don't blow it uh i was just uh i didn't really write anything for this because i got a text from uh uh big cat last night but um can i start with the issue is still i'm kidding no i'm joking i wanted to say yeah don't so don't don't i don't

41:04PFT Commenter:want any fingers pointed who set this up don't do that okay it's gonna be mad listen could be anyone

41:09Big Cat:just mr bing bong just wants to talk to hank for a second uh hank uh mr bing bong here i hear um i hear you're at uh at the delente wedding that's beautiful you know that song you got to get to the church on time if you got to get in the car and speed and get max to the church on time you know if you get pulled over you could whip out your phone and and you could offer to facetime with

41:32PFT Commenter:blotman just like rossini did when she got pulled over yeah yeah that's so beautiful it's so beautiful that you're on a deserted island it's it's a resort yeah just like an arizona resort where that reporter and your coach blew it for no reason she was a very capable

41:54Big Cat:reporter no reason to do all that bing bong find a rooftop interlock fingies and one of the bridesmaids because you blew it bing bong what else can i touch on oh jerry i have one last thing

42:08PFT Commenter:because we got it we got to go in a second but um hey can you can you stop can you stop doing podcasts and giving stories that we would like on this show i mean when when you go on a podcast and say that your wife smells like shit i would like you to say that on part of my take

42:24Big Cat:I was on the comedy podcast I have a movie coming out Hey, this weekend, if you're with a family This weekend, AW Wells It's called Summer's Last Resort In theaters? It's on Tubi No, it's not in theaters, it's a streaming movie Hank, you fucking hater Oh my god, do you remember when Hank said I'm doing a tour of a movie I did 40 years ago Hank, you fucked me up Honestly, you have the audacity to say Mr. Bing Bong is a jerk and all this stuff I have never commented on your career That was cutting shit Mr. Bing Bong will never guide Hank. I was trying to help you promote. I said, where can people go see this movie?

43:00Big Cat:That was not... How was that shitting?

43:02PFT Commenter:He was asking if it was in theaters. You better hope and pray I was trying to drive people to the theaters

43:09Big Cat:to go see your movie. But it's on Tubi. You better hope and pray. You better hope and pray. Tubi is a growth engine, bro. I learned that when I was out with them. It's a growth engine. It's a huge company. it's it's it's owned by the fox broadcasting company you son of a gun you better hope that the patriots get more than seven years because mr bing bong is gonna be so up inside of you i'm gonna be so up inside of you hank sorry there's like a cyclist going past me i'm gonna be so up inside of you it's gonna be funny i'm gonna be so i'm gonna be balls deep i'm gonna shave right before so you get that rash all around your anus and i am gonna i'm gonna come inside of you there you want some stuff for this podcast i'm gonna come inside of you raw dog you're gonna get it you're gonna get what i have i'm gonna give it to you how dare you how dare you tubing is a growth engine it's called summer's last resort awls it's called summer's last resort it's a great movie i did a podcast we were talking about deodorant i said my wife experimented with crystal deodorant because my wife is a little holistic and sort of clean and that the crystal deodorant didn't really work and i made a joke and then the new york the i was about to say the new york times um but uh the new york post did an article that i said my wife smelled and then i really like i'm a couples therapy i have to go to couples therapy right now okay well jerry thank you for joining us thank you Hank Hank Hank Hank Hank don't don't don't be too down i don't think this is such a bad thing you know let let brad stevens cook a little bit i know everybody was getting on you but but these trades something was up i have i have no idea what was happening some the awls had to explain to me what a second apron was yesterday so shit is going on like just like chill out um god it was so funny i i don't know if anybody saw on the everything app i wrote uh can somebody explain the second apron if you were explaining it to hank and they all like we're saying it's as if you wanted to see more tootsies but you had to pay for the extra

45:15PFT Commenter:tootsies it was really funny ADM Wells are the best happy fourth Jerry we love you all right let's kick it to Dungeons and Dragons and Tim Woods uh and then we'll see everyone Sunday night okay we are back it is time for our very very very special guest Tim Woods Dungeons and Dragons part. How many times have we done this? Oh, gosh. This might be our 10th game together or something like that. I'm taking a guess. I'm taking a guess. But something like 10 or 12 or somewhere around there. Okay, so always great to see you, Tim. Always. Why don't you just take it away and then we can introduce who everyone is dressed as for the podcast.

45:56Absolutely. 100%. So I'm very excited because we're going to be picking up today's adventure kind of from where we left off. We had defeated the five evil Doom Raiders, the evil adventurers who are the masterminds of the crime syndicate known as the Zentarum, the Trainwind brothers. Now, this is where I did want to double check. Was it Trainwind or Tradewind?

46:16PFT Commenter:I believe it's, I think, I think we're the Tradewind? Absolutely. Why do we say it on three? One, two, three, Trainwind. He said Trainwind. I said Trainwind.

46:25Big Cat:Yes, we're talking to Mike Zach. Trainwind. Trainwind. I've been calling you Treywind this whole time. EY, that's, yeah, that's of us can play too. So which one are we? That could be plural. Trainwind? Trainwind. I think it's T-R-E apostrophe Y-N-N. Train. Train? Oh, train wind. Like a train wind. Like train wind.

46:45PFT Commenter:So are we the train? Are we trading the wind or are we on a train with wind? Train wind. We're on a train with wind.

46:53Big Cat:Train wind. Either we're using it as a locomotive or we're train wind. Got it. What else could train mean? Either train or train. Training. like training lifting weights okay is there a third definition is there a third definition of train yeah like when there's when there's like a lopsided amount of people in like a sexual experience but that's not what we're doing i do believe this name originated when we put zach on the spot to come up with the name in five seconds so i and i do i do i did listen back and i think

47:28PFT Commenter:it was train wind originally 100 so i i am a train wind there was a reveal last session that norm in fact was not norm but rather loud train wind to the counterpart and half brother to silent train wind our cleric in the group uh there was some argument uh first of all about what your family tree exactly was and then we discovered that you two share a mother but have different fathers and i believe uh loud train which was also raised by wolves is where we had to land my dad was an alpha a beast, a monster. Your dad was a cuck. And our mother covered you in honey and treated you like a baby.

48:06Big Cat:And one of us has respect for our sweet mother and it feels like one of us doesn't.

48:10PFT Commenter:Oh no, I hate our mom. She's a fucking bitch. She gave us life. I want her to die. She birthed us. You know what's going to happen in this episode? I'm going to insert you back into our mother's womb and then kill both of you.

48:25Big Cat:You're going to put me back in to re-cook? Yeah, yeah. Point of clarification, is their mother alive or dead? So actually, at the end of last session, I had the spirit of the mother appear. Now that doesn't necessarily mean she's dead, but it highly implies that she might be dead. So you'd have to dig up the corpse and then... Listen, magic exists in the world of D &D. We can make anything happen if we really want to, 100%. Absolutely.

48:48PFT Commenter:Okay, so where the train wins. Alright, so do you want to say what we are? Everyone go down the line, and then we'll let Tim take us away? Absolutely. oh Max's Hippo Maximus is in that wasn't a fat joke that was a very powerful Jude who had been once part of our party Hippo Maximus 100 % Tim has a Hippo Maximus sheet it's over there actually I left it over there unfortunately but if you want to grab your sheet Max you're more welcome to jump in it wasn't a fat joke it was literally just that's his name given these circumstances I'll just say before we introduce our costumes also of course we've got everybody else in the group besides the Trainwind Brothers, our Barbarian, and our Cleric.

49:28We have also got Ehrlich, our Gnome Warlock. We have got Wayne, our Hilldorf Bard. And we have Greg with two Gs, our Human Paladin rounding out the D &D party. But of course, our costumes are entirely different.

49:41Big Cat:Tim, I got a question. Is there a possibility, like my character maybe in this most recent off-season has taken maybe a real keen interest into becoming a wizard? Oh, you could certainly. So ever since Cake the Wizard had to leave our party, we've been without a wizard, really. Could I be, like, studying? You could be studying to become a wizard. I'm wiz-curious. You're wiz-curious 100%. Wiz-adjacent, absolutely. By wizardly. And so you absolutely can be branching, or as we would call it in DD, multiclassing into wizard. Multiclassing, I like that. Actually isn't a bad combo. Bard and wizard work well together.

50:16Nice, nice.

50:17PFT Commenter:Okay, so what are you, Nick? Or Greg?

50:19Big Cat:Zach brought me a prince. with a cigarette. Okay. Yes, I'm a prince with a cigarette or a duke.

50:26PFT Commenter:Duke, okay.

50:27Big Cat:Yeah. Duke Brotherhood. No duke of sus sex jokes either, please. No, no, no doing it. Prince Andrew? You can make those. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Zach? I'm the white ranger today. Power ranger. Yeah. Who might morph some things. Sean Avery. Shout to Sean. Yeah. P-T? thanks Zach I appreciate it Zach I'm we'll put the mask on for this one I'm sub-zero from Mortal Kombat I don't know why I'm talking like Bane but yeah I'm sub-zero and Zach also got me bow and arrow and a dagger and a dagger too for stabbing yeah more like close quarters yeah close quarters so there's no way that didn't happen alarm no it happened oh my god it's clearly I'm going to get a new app.

51:23Big Cat:Wait, Zach, do you have to answer math problems? Yeah, and you just type 60 for 4 plus 2. What are the main problems, Zach? Well, the first one was 5 plus 5. That's not the hardest of equations. Zach was 4 plus 2, and he typed 60. Zach, how are you not getting these right? Zach, how many alarms do you have right now? They're all the way off. I'll let you roll for a minute.

51:49PFT Commenter:Zach, what were the questions here?

51:50Big Cat:Some math. It's early math, but it's early in the day. So you get fired. They were single digits, but I might have rounded up. It's like instead of a cup of coffee, you have to answer basic math problems to wake you up. Yes. Do you feel more awake after four plus two? Yeah, you jump straight into the textbook. You get going.

52:14PFT Commenter:Okay. I'm Mr. Incredible. The dad. And I'm going to face fuck Zach during this episode. I'm also Lord Tradewind, a.k.a. Norm, the human barbarian.

52:26Big Cat:I am Ehrlich the warlock, and I am Deadpool. Zach got me a mask with...

52:32PFT Commenter:You look like Spider-Man.

52:33Big Cat:No mouth.

52:34PFT Commenter:Yeah. Are you Spider-Man? I'm Deadpool.

52:37Big Cat:What's the difference? Deadpool's funny.

52:42PFT Commenter:Spider-Man's not? No.

52:45Big Cat:What happened to your face? I tried to cut open something so I could talk because my face, Zach got me a costume with no mouth.

52:54PFT Commenter:Why'd you give him a Spider-Man costume with no mouth?

52:56Big Cat:Some of the superheroes, they have immersive masks that you can't hear through them, but I didn't think, I should have been thinking more about audio in the costume shop.

53:04PFT Commenter:Okay.

53:06Big Cat:Double swords, maybe. I'm also interested in becoming a wizard. Absolutely. Warlocks can certainly branch into wizards. I'll admit that's slightly redundant, but it's still a good choice. 100 % So only one of us can So only one of us Can become a wizard No both of you Can become a wizard Just warlocks Are already pretty good At wizard stuff So yeah Nice You already Kind of have that expertise A little bit So I'm already ahead Of the wiz Aren't they from the north Aren't they like Almost like Celtics Yeah Yeah I would say so Okay so they're probably More into that Than they are being a wizard They're probably just Making fun of the wizard By trying to become a wizard

53:41PFT Commenter:So we have two guys Who are curious About becoming wizards Wiz curious The Tradewind Brothers in a fight to the death. And then Nick, I think he said, or sorry, Greg said beforehand that he's interested in getting a beard officially. A beard officially? Like a husband beard?

53:59Big Cat:Yeah. He wants to teach a woman that he's not going to fuck. That's what he would like. 100%. Absolutely. Yes. 100%. So this is the regathering, the return of our adventuring party, which we officially named last session. I want to highlight we are the six Chinese boy whisperers. A very cunning name. We did that? I was desperately hoping that we would wonder where that came from this time around. I wrote it down. The logic was also that we would say we were the six Chinese boy whisperers because that way when they tried to count, they'd be assuming one's still out there kind of loose in the wild and they would always be looking for them why boy whisperers though i would love to know that i assumed it was something that i wasn't getting okay absolutely this is going to reflect badly on me if i totally misheard it that's what got into my head but i think that's the name we land yeah i mean that's a pretty tough one to to misinterpret yeah yeah i had a lot of questions but i chose to internalize we whisper

55:04PFT Commenter:at the volume of a boy. Oh, that's what it was. It's pretty straightforward. That's obviously what it would mean. A weak little boy's voice whispering. And of course we named ourselves because there was a rival adventuring party who we had to go up against. They were stealing our credit. These Doom Raiders were absolute assholes and that's why we murdered them without any remorse. Killing all of these agents who run essentially the crime syndicate in the city of Waterdeep. Unfortunately and as our opportunity for today for maybe gathering more treasure and power, we have discovered that there is one leader of this crime syndicate who has not been eliminated.

55:40And indeed, it is the guild master, the one who is in charge of the entire crime syndicate. Now, I am especially excited to introduce this classic D &D villain, because I didn't make him up. His name is Lord Manchun, and he is a powerful wizard, incidentally. What? So those who might be, it was curious, would certainly know that Lord Manchun is traveling the plains right now, away from the city, but he has somewhere in the city a base, a headquarters. And if somebody were able to get his spell book, indeed, not only would they deprive Lord Manchun of his power, but they would become a great wizard like him.

56:20So this was already going to be the adventure. The fact that two mysterious characters have been expressing their desire to become wizards, Indeed, stealing his spellbook would not only defeat this enemy, but also empower you. But only one person can get the spellbook, just to be clear. Now, the real reason I'm excited to introduce Manchun is because the D &D creators who made Lord Manchun, I suspect, had some influences that they were really excited to work into the game. Lord Manchun runs a crime syndicate of essentially ninjas, and he's a powerful wizard. And this is what Lord Manchun looks like.

56:53Wow. So you tell me whether or not this guy is your classic Shredder. I always think of Lord Manchun as being a very D &D's Shredder kind of villain character. And I know that Shredder has been a very meaningful part of our campaign over the years in many different ways. So the danger is Lord Manchun is so powerful. Look at that hog on Lord Manchun. Look at the hog. I didn't even notice that I'm so straight. Cod pieces are a very important part of a wizard's armor arsenal, I will say. You've got to protect every part of your body 100%. And the luchador mask, very Shredder-like, is probably my favorite feature.

57:29There's new artwork of Manchun in the current edition. He's very, like, vampire Edward Cullen. I don't like it. I like old-school Manchun with his Shredder mask. And so we do know that if Manchun were discovered that we're going after his spellbook, he would come back to the city maybe using powerful teleportation magic. And I will warn that when I run this adventure for the AWLs, I tell them, do not try to fight Lord Manchun, because they're all playing the game at level two. They can't beat Lord Manchun. He's like level 20. But we're level seven. And so in theory, if we wanted to try to take down Lord Manchun, you could.

58:05But the real goal here is to get his spell book, because we've got several whiz-curious characters for sure who could benefit from that. And it certainly weakens him as a villain. So that'd be the smart and easy way to do it. But I will admit, some groups have defeated Manchun, but only through bullshit shenanigans. No one's actually beaten him in what I would call a slugout fight, but people have come up with clever solutions for defeating him.

58:27Big Cat:Right, like if you tell him, like, hey, if you lose, you'll get a better draft pick, then he might actually tank and try to lose. Absolutely, 100%. So you can use any strategy you want. The world of D &D is open to your interpretation and how you want to approach this problem. And, of course, the first problem we have is we don't know where his headquarters is to get the spellbook. So we're going to need to do some information gathering. we're going to need to maybe gather supplies or something in the city that we are in. This is the city of Waterdeep. It's huge. It's the King's Landing or the Los Angeles.

58:56It's just like spread out like a vast metropolis. Anything you need to do or buy or get, you could get in this city. But as we usually do to see who goes first in our game, we are going to roll the almighty 20-sided die. And whoever rolls highest will get to go first. Each of us has a dexterity modifier, but I'll apply that for us to see what turn order we're going to go in.

59:20Hank, go ahead. Yeah, Hank, how did you do on your roll? Just one. Just one D20.

59:29PFT Commenter:Just one good. Hank got a six and tried to say it was a nine. The line's always at the bottom or there's a dot at the bottom? No, yeah, there's a dot. There's a clear dot. It's at the bottom, yeah. So that's a six plus two. You just got an eight, Ehrlich. I got a ten. Okay, and you have also a plus two, so you just got a twelve for a blouse. Trainwind. A one. That's a ten. And how did Wayne the Bard... I got a one. Becoming wizard. I got a one. I got a one, too. You also have a plus two bonus, but that will only put you at a three, Wayne. First overall. 100%. Absolutely. And how about Silent Trainwind?

1:00:04I wrote a seven. Seven. Okay. Unfortunately, you have a minus one because dexterity isn't your focus. You have lots of other ability scores that you kind of goosed up. So with A, you got a seven. A six. That is going to put you solidly between Ehrlich and Wayne. for Silent Trainwind. And Greg with two Gs. I rolled a three. Three. Also with a minus one, unfortunately. That is going to put you at a two for Greg with two Gs. Absolutely.

1:00:27Big Cat:So I'd like to just point out real quick that Silent Trainwind is so committed to being Silent Trainwind that he just deleted the entire alarm app off his phone. I just watched him. Oh, no. Was that the entire app that you deleted? I didn't want to take any chances yet. How can you get that? You got to get that back. That was off. I'll get it back later today. Have you done that before? Yes. Okay. It's the fastest way to just make sure nothing goes off. That's how you turn your alarm off as you delete the app. Just to make sure no more interruptions, you just get it out of there. We go to the iCloud later.

1:00:55Got it. Absolutely. Now, we will point out loud train when that puts you at the top of initiative going first. There is a warning I would offer that barbarians are not necessarily the best at gathering information in town. Unless you're picking somebody up and shaking them down for information. Very often what barbarians want to do is rush into danger and start fighting things immediately. The problem is we don't know where Lord Manchun's secret tower base is in the city. Okay, so Lord Manchun could be literally anywhere. He could be. We, in fact, know he's not in the city right now. He's traveling the planes.

1:01:28But if we were to break into his mansion, it's possible that there are alarms that might lure him to our location.

1:01:34PFT Commenter:Well, I would like to look under every rock and make sure that we do not leave any stone unturned. So with that said, I would like to take Silent Trade Win and gut him like a pig and search and see if Manchun is somewhere inside of his body. You certainly can. I would point out that you have a weapon. Could I just ask on your character sheet, what is, I think you can wield a greatsword. I'm pretty sure you have a greatsword. That is unfortunately the perfect weapon for gutting somebody. Just end to end. I want to slice him open and like, we'll just, we'll, you know, peek around in there. silent train would it be safe to assume you are not volunteering for this are you trying to resist him doing this or are you are you laying down and letting him do this he's not the guy we're looking for is not in me you feel pretty exactly what you would say if he was in you

1:02:26Big Cat:you know there's not a man in you yeah there's as there's zero men in me right now we don't even have to gut me but we don't have to use not how could you tell the difference unless you have had been inside. Yeah. Wouldn't I be walking around heavier if I had a full man? Like, I feel kind of like today. You're the expert. Yeah. If I had a full man inside me right now, I think I would know. What about an empty man? You guys gotta take my word for this. Yeah, Wizards shapeshift? Like, they could be like a small one. It could be a... It's true. The last time you had a man inside you, what did it feel like?

1:02:54Big Cat:Was it uncomfortable? This would be the first time, and what I'm telling you guys is I think I would realize the first time. No, but maybe you've just had a man inside you all along.

1:03:00PFT Commenter:Since you were born? Yeah. Also, if Lord Manchu is inside of you, wouldn't he then say as your human body out here with us being like, hey guys I'm not in here.

1:03:12Big Cat:We don't have to use a knife. He's very powerful. He could get inside of you. Without you knowing. For the team, if we need to gut me we can gut me. Is there an x-ray machine we can go to? In theory, there are means of detecting magic that is inside of bodies. That would be a wizard can do that.

1:03:28PFT Commenter:I don't want to derail the whole show right away to get my vengeance for our cunt mother uh i will i will she burped you instead i will i will i will submit to putting silent trade win through an mri and cat scan absolutely just to make sure the man's tune's not in there colonoscopy also full cavity yep as you as you bring him to the magical x-ray wizards who do this kind of thing all the time in the city please roll for me a d20 this is going to be unfortunately a persuasion check but you still have like i think a plus one on this i have uh rolled a four four okay with a five they are going to try to scan him as best they can oh no just roll me one d20 zach i'm gonna leave it up to the roll of the die whether anything odd happens here because i three i don't have to gut you with a three there's like a shadow inside something's inside of you and they can't figure out exactly what it's not a full-grown man but there is like magic inside of you right now it's it's unclear exactly what it is there's almost like a some kind of like foggy magical shadow inside what part of the body around the stomach around the stomach or like uteral area guts yeah you're saying i got the magic in me yeah you do have the magic in you 100 it's all backfire this is that i'm i you have cancer and i just got you early diagnosis you're lucky you're gonna survive we got it early yeah you have only you through bonus action so far, you could go to these wizards and be like, check them again.

1:04:58Take another look. Roll again. See if you can be like, you guys didn't do a good job the first time around. That's a 16. Okay, with a 16 plus one, 17. They scan again. It was a smudge on the lens. They messed up. Unfortunately, with that roll before, they didn't put forth their best effort. You almost got gutted over nothing. It was just a smudge on the little telescope thing.

1:05:18PFT Commenter:I'm happy. We figured, listen, you said, Tim, I'm not, as a barbarian, I'm not someone who can collect a lot of information. So me going first was always going to be a problem, but at least we checked one box. He is not in silent trade way. You have ruled out one of the possible hiding places of Manchute.

1:05:35Big Cat:Absolutely. You're welcome. I would like to say if the role was there, I would have got gutted for the team. Shame I didn't have to do that, but I would have got gutted for the team.

1:05:42PFT Commenter:You sounded like you really didn't want to, though. You sounded pretty resistant to the whole gutted thing. You sounded like you were trying to hide the man inside of you.

1:05:50Big Cat:He said it could be man or magic.

1:05:51PFT Commenter:Yeah, it was also a smudge.

1:05:53Big Cat:Smudge? and that will bring us to early great tracks absolutely very successful productive found to not be there okay quick break from dungeon and dragons talk to you about our

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1:07:43Big Cat:Reese's animal crackers. They're so good.

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1:08:24PFT Commenter:So go today, get a Reese's. Okay, now back to Dungeons and Dragons.

1:08:28Big Cat:All right, I would like to, since we're with the wizards right now, right? Yeah, there are some wizards around. We're kind of like in a section of the magical school where they do like magical MRIs and stuff. So I would like to go up to them and ask where we can get more information on the guy we're searching for, but then secretly kind of ask them if they have any internships or other positions. Dude, 100%. Absolutely. It did not even occur to me. These are the perfect people to ask about Lord Manchun, a powerful wizard of evil. So go ahead and roll. You get a plus three on persuasion, but I will warn, if you're willing to be intimidating, I happen to know you have a plus six on that.

1:09:03I'm trying to woo. No, I'm trying to woo. I want these wizards. I'm trying to be recruited. I might be wrong. I think you actually have a plus four on this naturally. So go ahead and roll a d20 plus four. 20. Whoa! A natural 20? Oh, my God. I can attest it was a natural 20. 100%. So you find some wizards around here who, here, you find a really old wizard. And they say, well, if you want to know about Manchun, we got to bring out his old teacher. And this is like Dumbledore and Voldemort type stuff where it's like, I remember when I thought he was good, but he turned evil. And he became the leader of this crime syndicate.

1:09:38I should have never taught him his secrets. I can tell you not only where his layer is, but he will answer no fewer than three other questions that you might have about Manchun. Now, if you don't know what questions to ask, he'll give you random facts about Manchun, but if there's specific things you want to know about this wizard, you can ask whatever you want right now, and you can trade one of those questions to get an internship. If you trade two questions, you might get a really good deal on the internship and maybe even be higher ranking. All right, so I'll do one question then. and then get a really good yeah yeah absolutely 100 % how much sweat how much is Dave worth what are his motivations oh interesting money Manchun is the leader of like an evil crime syndicate very similar to Shredder he wants to do crime all over and gain more and more power but mainly the way the Zentorum this crime syndicate do it is through they're like the fantasy mafia they spread from city to city they try to lock down trade routes and then get smuggling routes set up through their connections and shady.

1:10:38Like they kick out all the other thieves' guilds and take over the underworld, basically.

1:10:43Big Cat:A wizard that just wants to be traded and collected. It's Jordan Poole. We have Jordan Poole. Yeah. Absolutely. So that's his motivation mainly, is to make money, make profit. If he thinks he can do that, he might show up at a place where he would be able to maybe make some extra money. And then, so yeah, I'll use my other two questions to elevate myself in the internship program. And then I'll just tell the rest of these guys, like I got one question, I got some answers. Yes. You tell them it was a very successful information gathering, even though secretly it was very successful. You not only got an internship, you got free tuition, scholarship to Blackstaff Academy, the wizard school.

1:11:18At the moment, you are the closest in the party to becoming a fully fledged wizard. I'd even give you one level of wizard right now to do a little bit of extra magic and boost your arcana. Wait, so no one else has any levels? Nobody has any wizard levels yet, except Cake is somewhere out there traveling around, but he's the only wizard we have. My king.

1:11:36PFT Commenter:I got a question. Yes. Very cool. Hey, dude, you were with those wizards for a while. What'd you ask him?

1:11:45Big Cat:I found out what his motivations are there. He's a crime syndicate. He wants money. So we can do that, right?

1:11:52PFT Commenter:So that was your only question? You asked him a question that we already knew?

1:11:55Big Cat:We were there for a long time. We didn't know that.

1:11:57PFT Commenter:You had one question. You were there for 35 minutes?

1:11:59Big Cat:Yeah, they only gave me one question. It took me a while just to get that one question. Huh. We did see pictures of him and everything. It seemed pretty clear that he ran a crime syndicate. He looked like Shredder. Yeah, he looks like Shredder. Well, now we know for sure. Now we know how we can get to him. And then what else did you guys talk about? Because they were really... It was hard for me to get one question. I really had to haggle just to get the one question. What's all that paperwork that you have in your hand? It looks like a brochure. Why do you have an ID badge? Oh, no, that wasn't...

1:12:24Big Cat:I don't have a brochure. I'm already in. You're wearing a lanyard, dude. Separately. I mean, that's like my mom signed me up for Wizard School months ago or whatever. That was a separate side conversation. Where's your mom right now? She's back at home.

1:12:38PFT Commenter:I'm looking at my phone right now, and I'm watching a video of Jersey Jerry interviewing all the interns at Wizard School. What the fuck? Why are you in this?

1:12:47Big Cat:Like I said, I mean, we're not together all the time. My mom, you know she's been pushing me to try and just chase my dreams, and I guess I have to go to Wizard School or whatever.

1:12:57PFT Commenter:why do you have swim trunks are you going to ben mince's pool i'm gonna miss you guys okay so you're going to wizard school instead after after this mission though after this mission

1:13:08Big Cat:it seems like maybe you're not gonna be completely focused on this mission though no this is like this is my last my last hoorah also feels like you wasted you guys know i don't even want to go like it's not like i'd rather be with you guys like i'd rather just chill with you guys it feels

1:13:20PFT Commenter:like you had more questions that you could have asked that would have helped us instead i only

1:13:25Big Cat:Oh, the bad guy's doing it for money. Thanks. It's also worth noting this wizard teacher is trying to cover your butt a little bit. He comes in. He says, well, you asked me just one question, and then he farted, and I just started cracking up, and I couldn't get through the rest of the questions, unfortunately. He covers your butt.

1:13:39PFT Commenter:He farted, okay. That actually checks out. That checks out. Poof.

1:13:43Big Cat:I actually didn't think it was a fart when I heard it. I thought it was just, he was sitting on a chair. He moved his legs, and then gravity pulled the air out. Could happen to anybody. True. Good point, Tim. Okay. And that'll bring us from Ehrlich's turn then to Silent Trainwind is up now. Silent Trainwind, what would you like to do? I will point out you're not too shabby at gathering information, but we do now know the location of Manshoon's headquarters. If we're looking for him, that would be a place we could go to that then might set off alarms where he might show up potentially. And certainly where we can find his spell book if we're looking to gain its power.

1:14:22Big Cat:is there happen to be a recently known location of the spell book or we have no clue uh we oh good question where in his base is the spell book is not information we have right now but we know at base we do know it must be at his base he would keep it as his base even when he's traveling to these dangerous dimensions like the plane of fire or the nine hells or something like that or maybe even heaven where we went on one of our adventures you can go anywhere when you're a wizard who can travel the planes so he is somewhere where it's dangerous to bring his spell book he's going to keep it in his base i would like to maybe see if we could do we know if the spell book is uh is paper pen or is it electronic one last question that's it is paper and pen and probably covered with like grizzly skin or something like that okay so no grimoire so we're not doing any like geolocation we can't ping it or anything like that gosh i never thought of that uh you uh might have a scrying spell that allows you to try to pinpoint the location of this spell book potentially using, not that it has a geotag or anything on it, but you can be like show me Manshoon's spell book in a crystal ball and kind of try to find it that way.

1:15:25Yeah, I'm not going to give a crystal ball a rip. Absolutely, 100%. I happen to know clerics get a divination ability. I'm going to say you can roll a d20 to see how effective. When you pray to your god, pound found, don't forget, you worship the god of storms, pound found and he is gonna maybe answer your question if you roll really well

1:15:4715 15 is the exact number I was looking for in order to get the exact location of Manchun's spellbook you see a vision of two towers one center tower and one outer tower and sure enough the center tower looks like it's six stories tall it's the big important building but the outer tower is connected to it by a bridge and that one only has a single door on the second story accessible by bridge no windows no other doors on the ground floor or otherwise and it's at the top of that four-story outer tower the better protected of the two towers you zoom into this room and you see a magic circle in the middle of the room roll me a d20 to see if you understand what this vision is showing you because you're not seeing the spell book but it's another 15 15 with your religion skill bonus.

1:16:37Could I just ask on your sheet? I think you have like a plus. Do you have the religion skill by any chance under skills? Actually, probably not. My mistake. I do not have the religion skill. So you would have, you said you rolled a 16. Is that right? Or 16. 15. Or 16. Okay. With a 16, that is just enough that you know something about this magic circle. Number one, if Manchun senses alarms going off in his tower, this teleportation circle is where he will show up. But you also know it's been modified. So that if you press the right combination of runes or maybe solve the right math problem on this like essentially alarm type situation, you could create an opening to a demiplane, a pocket dimension.

1:17:18And it's almost like a wizard safe. You're realizing that while there's treasure chests in this room, this is the safest location, is the portal that is accessible only by this teleportation circle. If you were a wizard trying to hide a spell book, you'd hide it in this dimensional pocket. And so you think that's what this vision is trying to tell you. We got to get into this outer tower, get to this magic circle, and then someone with good arcana skill, which is usually a wizard is somebody who has a very good arcana skill, would be able to open this up. Some of us already do have arcana, even if we are or not wizards.

1:17:51Big Cat:It's a plane and two towers, Tim. There have been unfortunate incidents when I've run this adventure for the AWBLs where we have knocked over both of these towers, unfortunately, and it's all pretty regrettable. But shout out, shout out, right? But Zach said he doesn't have religion skill. So that's good. Yes, does not. So he's not dramatic. 100%, absolutely. Yep, yep. I didn't write this part of this adventure. I pulled it from a book. But Zach, before you were training in Florida, right? That's correct. Yeah, he's from Florida. But nobody's knocking anything down in the name of God because I don't have the religion skill.

1:18:28PFT Commenter:And you would do anything for 1 ,000 virgins.

1:18:32Big Cat:Milk and honey does sound like a tasty combo, but I'm not saying, but I just don't have that skill. I mean, you follow the god pound found. You can decide whether pound found is like what their motivations might be or something like that. So we're able to get the drop on the book, boys. We'll take that. You gotta learn the location.

1:18:49PFT Commenter:You gotta do the math problem, though.

1:18:50Big Cat:As a team, I think we're pretty equipped on math.

1:18:52PFT Commenter:I think it's you. You have to go up and do the math.

1:18:55Big Cat:Oh, I thought it was a wizard that would unlock the...

1:18:57PFT Commenter:It is somebody with good arcanist, Skip. I feel like we got some arcanist. Unlock that. Do you have some math problems for him, Tim, that he can just practice real quick? I could whip up a few, I think, absolutely, 100%. Yeah. Go ahead. And that will be your turn then. I suppose you have a bonus action. If there's anything else you did want to do on your turn. Otherwise, Wayne would be good.

1:19:15Big Cat:I feel okay with that turn, Tim.

1:19:18PFT Commenter:120 times four.

1:19:20Big Cat:120 times four, so we're doing 100 times four. So 420 times four, so we're doing 80, right? So 480.

1:19:26PFT Commenter:Okay. He's good. He's really good. That's Pim Dawes. Guy knows his math. And that will bring us to Wayne, our Hildur bar Next Okay And I assume you shared that information with everyone? With the entire group Thank you for being an open book

1:19:42Big Cat:Very nice to hear that I'm going to disguise self Yes, disguise self, classic spell that allows you to look like somebody else Kind of apologies potion vibe I'd like to disguise myself as Ehrlich Oh yeah, 100%, absolutely You immediately look like Ehrlich And then I'd like to tell all the other wizards that I'm no longer interested in their school. And in fact, I never wanted to be a wizard and I'm a fraud. You absolutely can make a deception check. And because you look like you have advantage on this. So please roll two times and take the higher number. That's three. Three. It's five. Five. Here's the issue you're running into.

1:20:20These are wizards. And so they go, well, of course, just one moment. and they sort of scan you with magic, and they're like, wait a minute. This is a disguise self-spell. What do you think you're doing right now? That's not going to be good for your application. Let me just confirm. Yep, yeah, they rolled a 17 to know that this was a ruse. I'm sorry to say, Wayne, they did bust you. And this is a classic, like, oh, like they had, like, you tried to bring in, like, a huge gun flick through a metal detector. Like, get out of here. Are you kidding me? This was a, they're the really only place in the whole city that would have routine magical inspections like this.

1:20:53Big Cat:Actually, guess what? It was a stress test, and they passed. I was making sure that, and it sounds like these wizards really have their act together now. Yes, absolutely. You know what? They are upset. Roll me one persuasion check to convince them that this is a— 16. 16! They're like, hey, oh, wait, so you're from the Order of Watchful Magisters? That's like the wizard police kind of? You're like, so do we pass the test? Do we get a new—we're trying to go from a B plus to an A on our security. Will you give us the A now? There are bugs in the keg line. Can I go check out that combination that Zach pulled up?

1:21:26Big Cat:You absolutely can. What are you checking out? The combination. Yes, absolutely. Combination. Combination. You are able to start heading in that direction, but it will point that as you get to the location in kind of the dock district of the city where you see the main tower and then the attached outer tower, you sure enough can see the outer tower has four stories and you can see the doorway on the second story. You could try to climb up onto the bridge to get into that tower, but you're also noticing one other thing because I know your character has decent perception. There is like dirt around the tower in a perfect ring.

1:22:04It's almost like you see a ring of dirt and then nothing. It's clean within that perfect ring that goes exactly 30 feet out radius circle around the tower itself. As you're watching, you see a bird fly through the air and then just hit something and slide down an invisible wall of some kind. Roll me an arcana check real quick to see if you know what you're looking at here.

1:22:28Big Cat:That's a six, and I had plus four. Oh, plus four? All you needed was a ten to get an idea of what's going on here. This is a force field dome around this tower. You don't, with a ten, know how you would get through a force field dome, but someone with arcana or a wizard would be able to figure that sort of thing out. Okay. And I will say that was you going with your move. You still have your bonus action if you want to do anything here, or you can inspire as a bard one of your teammates with bardic inspiration, either playing the music or encouraging them. Who's up next? In theory, it is Greg up next.

1:23:06No, Greg's up next.

1:23:06Big Cat:Would you sing me a song? Prince Greg. I'd like to sing Prince Greg a song. Absolutely. What song do you sing Prince Greg? So you said that there's like a ring of dirt and then a hole. Yeah. So there's kind of like, it's almost like there's a perfect circle around the tower where it looks like the street sweepers have been sweeping dirt up against the force field. So there's no mystery, even though it's invisible, where the force field is. You think you could walk into it and then bounce off of it. I'm thinking like a nine iron. Maybe just, why don't you come in my dirty hole? Yeah, that's good.

1:23:35Big Cat:Go right in that dirty hole, Greg. All right, thank you. I'm inspired. Go check out that dirty hole. Come on in. It's pretty nice. With that song in your heart, Greg, you absolutely feel inspired. Thank you. It's my turn? It is now your turn, Greg, 100%. I think we should wait for somebody to walk out. Is there a lot of traffic going in and out of this tower? In and out of the tower, there seems to be no traffic. In fact, you see people moving around inside of the main tower. Not the outer tower where the spell book is, but you can see windows on floors one, two, and three of the main tower and a front door.

1:24:11There's people moving around in there. I'm going to roll to see if they've noticed anybody out there. They have not yet. Someone almost looked out a window and spotted us. And this is a crime syndicate at its core? Yes, absolutely. So not a lot of traffic going to and from, and you'd bet they keep this force field pretty secure a lot of the time.

1:24:26Big Cat:Boys, give me all your gold.

1:24:27PFT Commenter:Let me walk by and look vulnerable. Ooh.

1:24:29Big Cat:I'll jingle it in a purse. Gotcha. Absolutely. How much gold do we have? I would say even you alone have enough jangling gold in your pocket. I want like a comical large bag of gold. Okay, 100%. If you pull your money between the dragons that we've defeated and the money we got off the Doom Raiders last time, we've got well over, like, I would say 6 ,000 gold pieces. If you're putting it all in one bag, that's a bag, like, this big with the big dollar sign on it. Yes, please. Does Greg have any older brothers? Because I feel like the second or third brother prince always gets kidnapped. Those are good ones to kidnap, which is good if that's what we're looking for.

1:25:07Greg, it's totally up to you if you have any brothers. Certainly, they could be in the city even. Do you want me to have brothers? I think so I think kidnapping

1:25:15Big Cat:like if you're a crime syndicate like trying to kidnap and hold hostage I see your logic okay so you are a paladin a paladin is like a knight like someone who has taken an oath and become a very important person you would be someone they might want to kidnap

1:25:29PFT Commenter:alright so if we're thinking about like a brother that Prince Greg could have kidnapped should we maybe pick someone who's like got glasses and a beard looks a lot like Prince Greg you certainly could Body double, if you will. Do you? No. I can't grow a beard. I don't. Does anyone have glasses in it? Are you guys just assuming I'm a prince in the game because of this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. So there's only one person who kind of looks like you, right? Prince Greg?

1:26:04Big Cat:Oh, wow. I have spectacles as well.

1:26:07PFT Commenter:So why don't we have Silent Trade wouldn't get kidnapped?

1:26:10Big Cat:with our big gold purse. So I get all the gold, but maybe kidnapped? But you need to walk by and look vulnerable. Yeah, you gotta say you're a prince.

1:26:18PFT Commenter:You're the second prince. Maybe walk by like you've lost your glasses somewhere. I was just gonna say, this is all contingent on the fact that you have not already lost your glasses, silent trainwind. Please roll me a d20. As long as you nuke a 1, you did not lose your glasses. It's a 17. 17. Absolutely. You lost them, but you found them again after hours of looking around for them. You really put in a lot of hard work, but you found them again. So now you can affect a very good disguise of Greg the Paladin, 100%. That also means that, Greg, it's your turn. I like the idea that as you are seeing Silent Tradewind disguises you walking by, you're almost waiting in ambush, maybe, potentially, for anybody who might come wandering out.

1:26:58You certainly could. Near the bush, please. Absolutely. There's plenty of bush. And so you are able to get into some nearby bushes, look out, and sure enough, in fact roll me 1d20 is a bonus the bush bush is near these two towers plenty oh no yes yes but uh you you you see someone's hung up like a nice mission accomplished sign for some party or something like that and so you can roll uh this will be your stealth check you have a minus one on this but it's a nine problem is that right now you're trying to hide in some bushes and it's not it's hard to hide when you're wearing heavy armor and stuff i think that your giant moth mount is i believe you still had a giant moth as your mount yep yep is kind of like coming up you're like no no no no come on girl and is like sort of drawing attention upon you right now i will see they haven't noticed you however they are too locked in on the money bag being carried by the false prince and so you see let's find out who it's going to be who comes emerging out of the tower.

1:28:01Ooh, you see a little hobbit come running. A halfling, the Tolkien estate owns the word hobbit. A halfling comes emerging out of the tower. He's wearing a chef apron and wizard robes. So it seems like he is a chef, but also can do magic of some kind. This hobbit comes running out and you hear him like, what's going on? Oh, interesting. And then he suddenly points at the force field, in the direction of the force field, he has a ring, and suddenly this archway appears in the force field, and he goes, you there, you there, it seems like you are maybe in possession of too much gold, my friend, perhaps I could lighten your load a little bit, he then, like, almost looks in Greg's direction, but Greg still has the element of surprise right now, this guy is almost acting like he's being friendly, but you can tell he's about to maybe cast spells to, like, kind of passing by with your reaction.

1:29:00Greg, do you want to jump out and do anything at this point? I would like to

1:29:04Big Cat:compel him to a duel. Yes! You can use compel and duel! If this works, he will have to fight you in that case. He will not get to do anything else. Let me get my special wizard die here. Okay. The special wizard die has betrayed him. He only got, even with his decent bonus to this, a total of a 12. He needed like a 14 or better to pass that. He immediately looks at your direction, and you're like, duel me. And this little circle suddenly inscribes in the ground between you two. He tries to back up, and he slams against it. And he can't get out of here. The ring is clearly the thing that led him through the force field.

1:29:40And now he's like, no, no, no, no, no. And you know he's scared, because wizards can hit really hard, but they're glass cannons. They don't have a lot of hit points. If you go after him right now, you, I'm gonna say you still have one attack left that you could do to this wizard.

1:29:55Big Cat:I don't think we want, do we want to kill him though? you can attack someone to knock them out. You could intimidate him or persuade him to not fight now that you know he's kind of trapped, locked in duel with you. I would like to intimidate him. Absolutely. You're like, surrender now, yield now, and like, I won't make this messy on you. Go ahead and roll with advantage. You get to roll two times now, and you're going to be adding either intimidation or persuasion to the higher roll. Eleven? Mm-hmm. Seven. Seven. Okay, so with an 11 being the higher roll, Can I ask under skills, do you have either intimidation or persuasion?

1:30:31Persuasion plus six. Plus six. Let's go. He would need a 17 or higher on this. He immediately says, listen, listen, I'm just the chef. I'm just the chef. We don't need to make this messy. How can I help you? This was all a big misunderstanding. I wasn't going to take his money. I would never do such a thing. In fact, I'll bet I can help you out a lot. This guy's totally willing to betray everyone in this tower right now. He tells you his name is Manafort Cherryport. He's the chef in residence here in the tower of the Manchun, known as the Colat Towers.

1:31:03Big Cat:It's too obvious if we just take the ring. I want his whole hand. Absolutely 100%. You're almost like, it's punishment for what you were about to do. A thief is punished often by slicing their hand off. And so you take, he almost is like, you see him kind of be like, no, come on, we don't have to. Fine. And you're pretty sure he knows I can kind of regrow my hand. and by the time he realizes you're going for the ring hand, it's almost too late. Roll me 1d20. As long as you hit him, you'll take his hand right off. 13. 13 plus your attack bonus with your, I believe, long sword. My long sword. Takes the halfling's hand right off.

1:31:38It falls to the ground and he goes, so can I go now? And he wants to run away from the tower to get out of here. You let him loose from your compelled duel. This guy says, I quit, and starts running out of this tower. Congratulations. You don't have a ring to get everybody in and out of this force field into the tower. However. Nick's got a ring. You do. Wow. I keep doing this. What a day. I can't believe it. Wow. And it was given to you by this young halfling wizard who, as he runs away, is like, are we, what are we now? As he thinks to himself about Greg. Nobody has noticed this whole transaction from inside the tower.

1:32:16Congratulations. We still have the elements of surprise right now. Greg, huge turn, and you didn't even need to use your bardic inspiration, so you still have it on standby. Great job, Prince Greg. Going to bring us back around to loud train wind.

1:32:28PFT Commenter:Okay, so I'm a big dummy, right? The barbarian is known for immense strength and constitution toughness, but not high intelligence. Can I? So I feel like we've got to know more about this Monsoon guy. Lord Monsoon, 100%. Can I? He's a crime guy. Well, I'm not smart enough to ask people to go around and trick people with my brain. Could I potentially listen to a podcast? Yes. You can learn valuable information by doing so. That would be a perception check. Okay. So I would like to listen to the Sit Down, a Mafia History podcast with Jeff Nadeau. Absolutely. And he did an episode about Monsoon. And I'd like to just get everything that he knows about him and download it.

1:33:14Absolutely. You have to sort through a lot of other true crime podcasts and stuff, but you are able to find this legit one that is very authoritative, has all their history down. This is wizards just broadcasting from their towers all of their thoughts and stuff, and so you are able to use Magic Crystal Ball to tune in on this, or Magical Sending Stones, or wherever you get your local podcast. Love it. And so you can roll me a perception check. Roll a d20 plus, I think you have a three on this. 18. 18 plus 3 is a dirty 21 in all. Dirty 21. Well done. Absolutely. With that, you are going to extract valuable information about Manchun.

1:33:50Was there something you were listening for in particular? You're going to get three pieces of information about Manchun right now. Ironically, you can't trade this for scholarships or anything like that because it's just information. You would never do that. I'll just leave a five-star review. Absolutely. 100%.

1:34:07PFT Commenter:Okay, so what do we want to learn, boys?

1:34:09Big Cat:Maybe find out what Manchun's all about. Yeah. Like, does he do this for money or what? What's his motivation? It's actually the first thing he says right away. He's like, everyone knows that Manchun does what he does for money. That's common knowledge. But let me tell you the real information about Manchun now.

1:34:27PFT Commenter:All right, so what are we trying to figure out? What level of this tower is his room at? What? Yeah. What level is his room at? I will point out that we did learn from the scrying that Silent Train would did. We learned the outer tower, fourth floor. Okay, so I know this podcast well. I feel like he probably talked about this topic. What's his weakness? What is the one thing that he can't live without that he needs that we can maybe go after? We do kind of know his spell book is the main thing that if we could get it from him, he loses all of his magical power without his spell book. I think that's the information we didn't have before that we are getting is if you take his spell book from him, he loses his ability to do magic.

1:35:11at that point. What about Latina Broads? Oh, yeah. He has plenty of other weaknesses. Let me go over some of them. Number one would be Latina Broads. Absolutely. Let me just... You know what? I'll leave it up to you. Amongst us. How much does he love Latina Broads? Yeah, yeah. Above average. Above average. Who can have interest in Latina Broads? What about after a few Stellas? Yeah, absolutely. Let me see. After Stellas. He loses interest in them after a few Stellas. Weirdly enough. Wow. Absolutely. If you have any thoughts about any possible weaknesses, I'll roll to see if it happens to be one of his weaknesses.

1:35:41Definitely Latina broads.

1:35:42Big Cat:Does he have to bring his satchel of money with him whenever he wants to hang out with these Latina broads? Or do they hang out with him even if he doesn't have money? Let me see. He does not need any money to go hang out with the Latina broads. He just gets by on pure riz. Exactly what I thought. They actually love him more than he loves them. So you learn that not only does he, there's a rumor he pursues Latina broads. The truth is they won't stop coming after Manchu. They all want to go for men. Does he own this tower or rent it? Does he have the ability to fly? If you ask about his ownership of the tower, there is an answer here to that question.

1:36:18Do you ask about it? Yeah, I would like to ask. So you find out that, yes, he owns the tower, but because there were two wizard brothers who used to own this tower, and then they disappeared mysteriously. You find out that the brothers who owned the tower were wizard brothers called the Kolat brothers, and their specialty was constructs, gargoyles made of stone that would animate to protect the tower, things like force fields that they could use to protect the tower, and golems, things made of stone or iron that can defend the tower, including flesh golems, otherwise known as Frankenstein's monsters, creatures that look like zombies but aren't.

1:36:56They're constructs with, like, bolts in their neck that will defend the tower. So we should expect animated dangers that could animate and attack us.

1:37:05PFT Commenter:Okay, so we know that we got to get a spell book. We know Latina broads. Anything else? Oh, Hank's last question was, can he fly? Can he fly? Great question. I will let you know that not only can he fly, flying is easy for him. He can almost fly perpetually because he's got like a permanent fly spell on him. Not only can he do that, he can teleport across the world in a single turn if he wants to. He also has spells that if we were level two, he could kill any of us easily. But even at level seven, if he uses his most powerful spells, he could probably one shot kill any one of us. Okay. I feel like we learned a lot.

1:37:42PFT Commenter:Yeah, absolutely. Can I have like a mini, do I have a mini roll for something? Yes, you have a bonus action to do whatever you want. Bonus action to just bitch slap Silent Trade Winner. Absolutely. Just to let him know that I didn't forget about him. Are you allowing this to happen or are you trying to avoid it from happening? Like dodge it.

1:37:57Big Cat:I would like to avoid this bitch slap if possible. But you have a giant bag of money. Now, before you bitch slap him, I will ask, do you go reckless on the bitch slap? Then you get advantage. A reckless bitch slap.

1:38:06PFT Commenter:Yeah, I'm a reckless bitch slap. Recklessly bitch slap. Silent Ravenwind, please roll two times on your D20. Four.

1:38:16That's a 16. Initially, it looks like it's going to hit your helmet, and then he gets you right in the face with a 16, plus your athletics bonus, 100%.

1:38:26PFT Commenter:And then just leave a note, just being like, there's more where that came from. Absolutely. That's it. That's all. Good turn. Thank you. And that was right as you had walked away from the encounter with the halfling. Is he crying? Roll to see if you are crying right now. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're trying to avoid it so it's really only on a one or a two. Eleven. Eleven. Yeah, no problem. You're fine. Absolutely. Tough guy.

1:38:55Big Cat:Tough guy. I understand that my siblings sometimes have outbursts. We look past that. We don't tear up, but we don't hold against them. Outbursts are okay. Everybody vents in their own way. 100%. And I'll say since you got an 11 and not a 10 or lower, a 10 or lower would have meant there was a little twinkle, and you caught that with an 11, not even a twinkle. You hold it together just barely.

1:39:13PFT Commenter:Next time I'm going to go harder. Absolutely. That'll bring us to Ehrlich's turn now.

1:39:18Big Cat:I would like to use my stealth skill, and I would like to try and go ahead nobly to try and get a, jump on this book. Absolutely. So you know the force field in theory is already open. The only way it wouldn't be open is if Greg chose to shut the force field. They left the door open as it were through the force field. So assuming that gate is still there, you can go right through the force field into the towers. Do I still have the ring? You do have the ring. So you could make this... I would give you the Nyx ring for your birthday.

1:39:50PFT Commenter:That's really nice. That's so nice. That's fair. I'll make that ring. Happy birthday.

1:39:56Big Cat:So now I have the next, I control the force field now. You do, yes, 100%. Okay, so I would like to go in stealth. Absolutely. Yeah, roll me a stealth check as a bonus action. That's perfect. D20 plus whatever your stealth skill bonus is. That's a four plus five. Four plus five. Nine is not great, so I'm going to ask you to be specific about where you're going. There's two towers. The main tower clearly has people inside of it. You can look through windows, you can go through doors, but you're not being very stealthy right now. The outer tower has no windows. a single door but it's on the second story connected to the main tower by a bridge so you could keep away from those people then you don't have to worry about how sneaky you're being and go for the outer tower where we know the spell book is if you want to head for the main tower then you're going to have some trouble is it if i go in the main tower can i just be like oh this is my first day of internship and they'll buy that or is that not going to work you could try that but i will point out at the magical school they do internships all the time here that's a rare and unusual thing so the check would be a lot tougher that you would need to make.

1:40:59Alright, so we'll go for tower number two. As you look at the outer tower, we had already learned that's where the spell book was at the top of floor four. The issue right now is you aren't drawing any attention. I'll just confirm that. Okay, so we'll find out something in just a moment. That's a 20. That was a natural 20. That was really the only way something was going to go wrong. We'll see in just a moment. But you are at the outer tower. You notice that there's no ground floor door. There's a door on the second story, but you could try to climb up. What about Lola? Oh my gosh. Credit, Hank.

1:41:33I always have been forgetting Lola lately. I am so glad you remember. You're talking about Lola, Lola? The imp can immediately spread her wings, fly up invisibly, by the way. So Lola's not worried about stealth, and this imp can fly up to the door. And I can think of a couple of things. Lola could try to help you up, or Lola could open the door on her own. She could even go inside the tower whatever you want to happen here. I think Lola Help me out. I had Lola will help you up. Absolutely. Lola's like She's like trying to help one of your feet pushing it up. Go ahead and roll me with advantage now with help from Lola This is going to be an athletics check.

1:42:10I'm sorry to say you've a plus zero on that as a no more lock That's not your specialty the way it would be for a barbarian. You're all 2d 20s. Take the higher number 20 No way! You had two rolls? You didn't even need the second one. On the first try, Lola basically is actually like, here, one second, one second. And she just calls out, oh, lords of the nine hells, please give me strength! And for just a split second, she is able to push you all the way up so that you land on the bridge. You know what, mate, since it was not her help that got you the critical hit, you did it on your own. I want to give you credit.

1:42:47Maybe this is your first little bit of wizard magic. You start to levitate off the ground and land on the bridge. She goes, I didn't help you do that. How did you do that? That's incredible. I've never seen a warlock do that kind of magic. And sure enough, you land on the bridge. I'm even prepared to say with a critical hip, you might still be levitating a little bit right now. Now, there's two doors you could go through. The door into the main tower and the door into the outer tower where we know the spell book is and it's quieter. Unfortunately, you now know from the main tower, some people are like, hey, did you hear somebody talking outside?

1:43:18and they are going to start mobilizing. I'm going to roll to see when they're going to go, but you could make yourself scarce before they arrive. It's still your turn right now. You still have your action. You could go into the outer tower where it all is quiet right now. The main tower is unfortunately where all the enemies seem to be. So let's go outer. Absolutely. As you open the door to the outer tower, you know that at the top of this tower is where the spell book should be. Immediately opening up, you can see there is a ledge you can step onto and there's a spiral staircase going down into what appears to be the ground floor, which is just a garbage pit.

1:43:53They've been thrown garbage down the staircase and it's all like stinky down there. There is a staircase going up from the ledge to the third floor, but straight across from you. There is a little ledge with like an almost like statue of a wizard pointing a wand right at you. Roll me an arcana check to see if it certainly looks very suspicious, like a trap, But roll to see if you know anything about this particular situation. Five. Five. And what's your arcana bonus? My arcana bonus is five. Five. So you got a ten. And because you got one level of wizard, I'm going to give you an extra plus two on that.

1:44:30Let's go. You can tell this is a magical trap of some kind. You know three things are going to happen. Number one, there are runes on the mouth that are going to make this statue start talking whenever the trap is triggered. There's a ledge right in front of you. You can even see the rune right on the ledge. The moment you step onto this ledge, it is going to cause this thing to start talking. It's going to raise off the ledge, and something's going to happen on that wand. Maybe an attack in your direction or something like that. What would you like to do? Lola's like, that's bad news. Can I just hide out for a minute?

1:45:04You could hide out. This week, you could end your turn if you want. You still have your action in case you want to do any attack or something like that, or cast a spell, or make another skill check. But you could say I'm ending my turn, or you could say I'm readying an action but not firing it yet. I'm going to ready an action. Keep in mind, between now and your next turn, it is guaranteed some people are going to come running out of the main tower and start looking around for you. So something to consider there. So I can't use my skill. I can only use an action. You can use any action, including a skill check.

1:45:32A skill check is stealth. Stealth. I'll go stealth. So now this is your second attempt at stealth. Roll me one more stealth check to try to—you're kind of hiding on the bridge. Is that right? 20. 20! Wow! Okay, with a critical hit, were you hiding on the bridge by kind of like laying flat on the bridge, or were you trying to hide in the tower? Hide in the tower. I will say that if it's with a critical hit, you managed to avoid this trap entirely. You think its censored rune did not go off, and so you get into the tower. Do you want to stay on floor 2 or go down to floor 1, the garbage pit, or go up to floor 3, which is a mystery?

1:46:08I think garbage pit's probably the safest place to hide. Oh, that's actually so smart. Luke Skywalker style in the trash compactor. You go down into the spiral staircase. There's at least 14 inches of water down here that you can submerge yourself in. It's gross, but it's a great hiding spot that they would never check. Great job.

1:46:29PFT Commenter:Nice hiding spot. Tim, I got a question. Just like when you're playing Dungeons & Dragons, just like in terms of being a good teammate and everything, Is it normal for someone to put their used Lucy in the die? Oh, is it in a wrapper? Oh, yeah. I mean, these are all our dice trays. I don't want to presume anything. Oh, okay. I didn't know if that was something that, like, that's just something you do in Dungeons & Dragons. It was in a wrapper. Okay, got it. Where's the wrapper? Yeah. Every time I went to grab a die, I just, you know. That's it. Sounds like a house rule we would need to make. 100%.

1:47:05Absolutely. this will bring us to silent train wind next that's disgusting so gross just sitting right next to the die it was in a trash rap earlier earlier it jumped out i took it out in there for some reason to make sure it was still there okay so silent train would we are now up to you you just saw earlick go inside through the force field he has the ring now just want to make but i do want to double check but i assume you did not shut the archway into the force field behind you right you left the door open no can i do it at any time you need to be out so you would have needed to do it before you got okay so yeah it's open yeah so it's open absolutely so nothing's stopping us from going inside to be fair we only have a limited amount of time before people are going to start coming out and noticing intruders

1:47:58Big Cat:I am curious about the area surrounding these towers. Are there any shops? Is there maybe a drugstore, a pawn shop, anything close in the area? Is it a developed kind of spot or more rural? It's kind of not rural. It's in the middle of the Dock District of the city, but this is a rundown neighborhood in the Dock District. This really nice courtyard with towers in it is like where four different alleyways meet in the Dock District. So it's sort of a rundown district where there are a lot of shops, a lot of hobbles and stuff, but definitely places where you could hide or look around and like pharmacy type places.

1:48:30What are you looking for?

1:48:31Big Cat:You looking for a little Advil because I bitch slapped you? I would like to support local business. Maybe stop into the local pawn shop, maybe browse around for a second if that's okay. Absolutely. Are you looking for anything particular? There are plenty of shops that sell potions, scrolls, which are one-shot spells, or other magic items you might even be looking for. I heard there's a guy that whips up a great virus in there. And I was trying to see. Cyrus? Tim, I believe I have quite a bit of gold on me from an earlier distraction. This is true. You have everyone's money right now. I would like to spend some of the gold on this man's finest virus if possible.

1:49:04Absolutely. You're saying virus like a plague that might spread potentially? And I would like to look for injectable if possible, yeah. Actually, roll me 1d20. This is now very easy. You do not need a high roll on this. You're in the right neighborhood. It's a five. Okay. The number I was looking for was a five or higher. initially people are not willing to tell you where you could find somebody who could provide you with a sample of a plague or a virus and so you finally as you're about to give up the search from an alleyway this guy who looks like he's a little raven man pokes his head out and goes hey hey i heard you're looking for a plague i happen to be a plague brewer come inside my shop and his shop is like down a staircase in an alley into somebody's basement he is brewing different plagues here and he has an injector syringe he says that you certainly have enough money if you're willing to pay full price for a sample of his deadliest plague you do not even need to make a check if you want to haggle you certainly can to get a better price on it but you have everyone's money right now you can afford this i would like to hit him maybe like 80 on that you know absolutely yeah gentleman's haggle nothing crazy roll me 1d20 see if you can haggle it down a little bit it's gonna be a strong two with a strong two he goes i noticed you were looking for a really long time i don't think you're gonna get a better deal on a plague it's highly illegal to be selling this sort of thing full price i'm afraid is what i'm gonna

1:50:27Big Cat:need uh this does seem to be quite a bit of gold so i'll hit him a full price and still have it you still have plenty of gold but there is a dent now in our funds at this point and you have a syringe i assume that there are regular plagues here you wanted to go for the best kind there are magical plagues they can't easily be cured without the power of a cleric you're the only person here who would be able to cure the plague that you have in your syringe right now with that done that was your bonus action you can now move to anywhere you want and it would be an action to do a spell and attack a skill check or inject somebody with that syringe i would just like to go meet up with the boys i'd like to regroup 100 you regroup with the boys 100 if there's anything you would like to ready or you could hand that syringe off to somebody or anything like that you certainly may can i be like trade wind is that a vial of plague that you have are you hiding it or revealing it to everyone are you back on the plague guys take the plague all the time it's just like i got it in my pocket yeah it's recreational yeah recreational you know you're not that fat dude never know you don't need the needle is this a party plague or is this just like you need it yeah uh i guess that would be to be determined we have no one's uh we have no sample size on the effects we dig it i got it from the guy on the street said it was a good plague but you know you never know they cut the plague with all sorts of stuff yeah yeah they're mixing yeah just say if you take the plague make sure that somebody's around you yeah understandable okay glad to be back meeting up he is the dark he is like the human yeah so when you take it make sure you're around when you take the the plague so you understand yourself gotcha we'll do absolutely 100 and to be fair there are also lots of magical drugs sold in the city as well the plague that you got is both in fact it both gives you a crazy feeling confusion but also very dangerous as well be careful you know you don't

1:52:17PFT Commenter:want to accidentally prick yourself with the plague yeah maybe test it before you take it

1:52:22Big Cat:you might take it and then you might just stay in the strip club for like 20 hours non-stop afterwards there is some guy's take if you wanted to use your action to sample it you certainly could but you could otherwise end your turn too keep hippo maximus away from it he'll use all of it I would like to end my turn here absolutely 100 % I'll mark you down with the ready to action if you would like to take one between now and your next turn but Wayne we are now up to you We gotta start getting some stuff.

1:52:53PFT Commenter:Hank's like done. He's already finished. I don't know what he is. He's doing the main quest, absolutely.

1:52:59Big Cat:So Hank is in how many feet of trash right now? I said 14 inches. 14 inches of trash. It's an arbitrary number. I think a gnome could fit under 14 inches of water. I'd like to do, can I do minor illusion where I make a human-sized image out of nowhere? Correct. I'd like to make a really hot chick that wanders her way down into the basement, and then she sees Hank covered in trash, and he tries to talk to her, but she's like, ooh, that's disgusting. Okay, so you make an illusion of a beautiful— I'm hot and wild, I'd be trying to talk to her. First of all, you can get inside the dome. You can just barely see through a bit of the open door into the outer tower.

1:53:34You can even make it just appear on the other side of the door. An illusion of a beautiful woman begins to descend the stairs. Hank, please roll me an intelligent saving throw to see.

1:53:43Big Cat:Tim, if it's okay, I'd like her to be shocked by his presence and his smell and revolted. And she's so revolted by it that... She doesn't know I'm there. I'm hiding you, idiot. She's so revolted by his smell and his presence that she then causes a scene and attracts the attention of those Frankenstein-looking guys to come by. Roll me a deception check real quick to see how convincing you make this illusion. I've got plus eight, too. Plus eight is fantastic. You are very good at creating convincing illusions. It's Ehrlich's turn. Oh, that's a nine. With a nine and that's before I assume the plus eight is that right?

1:54:14So 17 in all was looking for a 15 or higher for this to be a very convincing illusion That's making a lot of noise So I would like or like to please roll an intelligence saving throw with disadvantage to see if he's falling for it So roll two times and take the lower number

1:54:32Big Cat:The three but the three is just gone Not that still counts as a three. I think let me see Oh, sorry. Yeah, that is a hard-to-read die. You got a one.

1:54:44PFT Commenter:It's a dealer's choice. You got a one. You got a one, Hank. I didn't. Yeah, the hard-to-read is the one.

1:54:50Big Cat:Well, there might not be a three. This is right there. You're right there. It's a 30. You know what? I'll give you the higher of the two. You get the three. Well, I have only rolled once, so. 16. Thank you. You're going to make it easier so he gets the higher. No, no, no, no. I was saying the higher between the one and the three. No, you said the higher between the two. I rolled a one or a three. I said I'll give you the higher one of those two, meaning the three. This is a commander giver. Commander giver at his finest. I was not giving him a 16. Absolutely. So you're not giving him the 16. We're going to go with the three then?

1:55:25And that is not enough to know that this baddie who is coming down the stairs right now is an illusion. In fact, you think she is one of the guards who just walked across the bridge to get to you. and you're like, oh dang, the guard who's coming after me is a baddie. And you're looking around.

1:55:39Big Cat:But I'm hiding from the guard. She sees you and she smells you. Roll me one wisdom saving throw. She sees your face. I'm going to say unless you roll really bad on this, it wouldn't cause you to be like looking out of the water kind of. Four. Four. Okay. I'm sorry to say. Let me ask them. No, I guess. Yeah, no, that's not going to be a dog because there's no way you have a plus six on this.

1:56:02PFT Commenter:I'm just trying to play by the rules. He actually rolled a 14. Oh, really? That was a 14. Feel free to pass me that die. I don't want to give us a hard to read die. I'll get that one out of here. But you're absolutely right. That's a 14 where the one has worn away. I hate that for you. You are not emerging out of the water like, but you are staying hidden in the water. You do think it's a real woman, but you're like, she might be dangerous. So I got to be a little careful here. The bad news is that that was enough of an illusion that as she's calling out, The guards like someone's in that other tower and they are heading for the outer tower now to look around such a cockball Absolutely.

1:56:41So at the top of initiative right after Greg's turn We're gonna have some intruders emerging at this point Wayne That was your action anything with your bonus action you could do healing word to heal some well No, nobody's injured yet. You could also use another bardic inspiration on somebody other than Greg Greg still has bardic inspiration

1:56:57Big Cat:You're just blowing up everyone's spot. No, just yours Ours, which is ours. No, yeah, because you're going to get your hands on that spell book, and it's going to be bad news for everybody here. True. That's the mission. No, you're not going to share it with anyone.

1:57:10PFT Commenter:Remember who told you 14th. Yeah.

1:57:12Big Cat:I think I want to use my bardic inspiration on Silent Trade Wind. Silent Trade Wind. To just be like, hey, man, you got a lot of virus. We should go into the bathroom stall maybe and check that out. Let's party. We can hit the stall. I feel inspired. Yeah, let's inspire. Let's party. After you. Okay, thanks. Absolutely. Are you leaving to go to a different bathroom, or are you trying to find the bathroom in this tower? I think the bathroom stall is a metaphor for just, like, whatever the closest flat surfaces. Yeah, absolutely. You're easily able to find an alleyway and start enjoying some of this plague 100%.

1:57:45Yeah, safely. Safely. Safely. Roll me 1d20 just to make sure this is safely being used. And Silent Trainwinder, if you're doing this as well. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. It's a two. Uh-oh. Silent Trainwinder, are you also indulging?

1:58:01Big Cat:everybody's doing it I'm not gonna I'll indulge you're not gonna make me do this on my own yeah this isn't peer pressure I'm indulging on my own free will but I did test I did test half the we did the test half and half half we're in a good spot the other half crippling there's some issues there I won't reveal the results of the test because I want to keep you safe and having a good time and I don't want to send you through a bad he's going in with you i'm in an 11 11 you are doing okay almost like the magical healing that courses through your body is protecting you but you are noticing as he is tripping out that unfortunately wayne the bard is kind of getting a little green in the gills right now unfortunately however you have a ready to action would you like to drop a healing spell on wayne to alleviate this problem come on bro You'll go and some milk.

1:58:56Big Cat:Absolutely, 100%. Roll me a D20 just to make sure you cured him effectively. 16. 16 is enough. Wayne's feeling a lot better after you drop some healing magic on him. Silent Train went well done. That's some good shit. It was wasted the virus. That was actually a 19. Yeah, a tiny bit. You still got some virus left, 100%. Absolutely, a little taste. We'll get back to D &D in a second. It's being brought to you by Chevy. Chill week is right around the corner, and you know what that means. No schedules, no plans, just more of the good stuff. Chevy Silverado makes that possible. There's a reason that Chevy is called the heartbeat of America.

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2:01:27Big Cat:I don't think you ever had the plot. I mean we got enemies on the way What do you mean? I just sicked an entire tower's worth of God You just you just conjured up a hot chick and did some virus. No, that's all you did That sounds fucking awesome. Number one. Yeah, number two I also sick entire army of Frankensteins that are now looking for you. Which is bad for us. Because I know that once you get that spell book, it's bad for everybody. It's bad for the world if you have the spell book. Sounds like you're just jealous I'm going to become a wizard before you. No, it's just bad if you have the spell book.

2:01:54Big Cat:I think everyone can agree on that. That's the entire mission. You should not have the spell book. You personally should not have the spell book. Any of us that gets a spell book, mission accomplished.

2:02:04PFT Commenter:Back to fiction. It feels like we're at odds here. Can we just all agree that Silent Trade Win is a fucking baby back bitch? I agree. Okay.

2:02:14Big Cat:I disagree. You should have done more virus, man. Pussy. I got some on me. Okay.

2:02:24Big Cat:So the illusion caused all the people from one tower to go to the second. They're about to come out. So you know that right after your turn, in fact, a bunch of people are going to come running out the front door, but also onto the bridge to go after him. We got some Frankensteins on the way. we also got some living guards if you were to take up a position at either door you could ready to like start chopping heads off as they come running out or you could do anything else you want on your turn you still have one small window before they start showing up okay but you don't have to you can just be like no i'll deal with them you could bust into the main tower start attacking them and keep them busy there or wait for them since you know they're gonna come running out.

2:03:06Big Cat:I think it's time for action. My subtlety's over. I'd like to cock my shit back at the door and wait. Absolutely. Are you waiting at the front door on ground level or are you trying to climb up onto the bridge to protect anyone who's in the outer tower from guards who might come running at them? I like being on the bridge. Absolutely. Roll me an athletic check. Oh, never mind. You don't need to roll me an athletic check to get up to there because if you hop on your giant moth you can ride your giant moth right up onto this bridge automatic success. I think I'd rather do that, yes. As you land on the bridge, very classic knight on your mount, you've got your lance, you've got your sword.

2:03:42Which one would you like to ready as an attack against any incoming enemies? Do I throw the lance? Ooh, let's see. Oh, good question. No, javelin you throw, lance you stab with. I'll ready the javelin, actually. Ooh, javelin's the least damage of all the attacks. I will not ready the javelin. Lance deals a lot, and your sword also deals a lot. What covers the most area? They all only hit one person. Unless you critical hit. Then you hit almost spear through people. Let's go Lance. Lance is a great choice. Immediately as you ready the attack, that is when the door flies open and it is an armored woman who emerges.

2:04:21She's got two guards and a Frankenstein behind her. They seem like they were crossing some sort of invisible bridge from one side of the room to the other. so they're like on no floor it looks like but as they throw the door open she charges right into your lance this woman has like almost like a broken nose and scars and she's wearing heavy armor and she's got a long sword in one hand a short sword in the other she is built like a brick shithouse and she looks strong we're talking like ex-war veteran marine type warrior here you can hit her with your lance right now if you would like to is this ex-marine looking right hmm is

2:04:57Big Cat:She looking right? Looking good? Yeah, yeah. I will, since you asked, as I do for all the AWLs when they meet Sidra, the leader of the guard here in the tower, I will roll to see how good she looking today. She's looking so hot. She, on a scale of 1 to 20, is pulling a 19 right now. She looks hot. And whether that's because that's your type or not, Greg, you certainly know that this strong, muscly lady is looking very good, in addition to looking dangerous in combat. Okay, so before I pierce her, I'd like to put on an aura of protection. Yes! Your aura of protection is running all the time. All the time.

2:05:36You never take it off. You never take off your aura of protection. I would like to answer. You come pre-protected. Absolutely.

2:05:44PFT Commenter:This is huge for the squad. We found a 19 out of 20 chick. And it was the K guy that found her. That's a 9.5. That's not where it's coming from. I'm straight as an arrow. you certainly have caught her by surprise with this first attack. Last thing she expected was a knight mounted on a giant moth to be lancing her right now. But she doesn't hate it either. You can go ahead and roll two times on the d20 and take the higher roll. 16. 16 is already going to be a hit, but roll one more time. CP crit. 15. 15. So with the 16 plus your bonus, that is certainly enough to hit her armor class of just 17.

2:06:20As you do, I will ask, what's the damage on your slants? uh 1d12 plus 3 absolutely so d12 is a very funny looking shape of die it is this one right here with pentagons all over it this is like the one time it ever gets rolled in the game is appliances so go ahead and roll that one 11 11 you said plus three plus three three so 14 damage on sidra so far i will also ask are you smiting her with this attack if you smite her you will get to deal an additional 3d8s worth of damage if i smite her now can i not smite later you can you have a limited number of smites per day i think you get like five different smites a day you can smite a lot absolutely 100 go ahead and roll another 3d8s assuming you're using your strongest smite which is a level two smite you only get two of those and i think three of the lesser smites three seven ten eight eighteen more damage is gonna bring her up to 32 damage she is halfway down now at this point but it looks like she had somewhere in the 50s worth of hit points but you get one more attack greg on your turn whenever you do an attack action you're a mighty warrior just like the barbarian you attack twice so you can do one more attack against her The issue is she's no longer surprised, so you don't have advantage anymore.

2:07:48If you're going to take her out, you'll need to hit her and probably smite her one more time. I'll smite her one more time. Absolutely. Go ahead and roll one more d20. Her armor's pretty good, though. Five. Five plus, can I ask, what is the attack bonus for your lance? It is... No, it's not a plus 12. Yeah, you would need a plus 12 to hit her.

2:08:12Big Cat:No, yeah, it's 1d20 plus 6. I am sorry to say with a plus six you got an 11. A dirty 11 is not enough to hit. She easily dodges out of the way. She, in fact, it looks cool, grabs the lance and starts trying to force it back. And before you know, your lance is lubed up a little bit by the aura of protection. And she's just sliding along the edge of your lance a little bit. Sick. Yeah. Absolutely. Never been in the allegations. Unfortunately, you're trying to smite. What are you talking about? And it's just sort of shooting with the energy that way. Are the boys seeing this happen? Hmm? Are the other boys seeing this happen?

2:08:39It's happening on the bridge. It's quite obvious. everyone's seeing it except Ehrlich who's underwater right now and so that is going to be your turn Greg well done however and I guess you have a bonus action I can't think of any bonus action you could do a compelled duel on her I think she's going to fight me anyway that's exactly what I was thinking you do not need to by any means she's already fighting yeah was there any other thing you might want to do you could talk to her as a

2:09:05Big Cat:bonus action I have a bonus action of command my steed can I just run away I mean yeah you could take No, no, no. I'll stay on the bridge. I'll stay on the bridge. Get up into the air if you want to. She also gets one free attack if you retreat, basically. Yeah, I'm not doing that. So, yeah. Now, to be fair, if you use your bonus action to command your seed, I would let your moth try to bite her. I'm going to hold out. That's totally fair. The moth's bite is not its most powerful ability. It would be flying. So, Greg, good turn. Unless you want to use the bonus action to talk to her or something like that.

2:09:35No. No, I think we're past that. Totally fair. 100%. That is going to bring us to, first of all, Sidra's turn. and Sidra is in melee with you. She is going to make a decision on who she is going to go after. Unfortunately, we were between now. If anyone was hoping they would go after Ehrlich, there's a paladin right between them and the tower. So they're focusing on the paladin right now. She is going after you and not your moth. That's good. Your moth is a little more vulnerable than you are. She would have done that just to be cruel. So her first attack with her longsword, that's a cocked die.

2:10:0713 plus 7, dirty 20 on the die. Can I ask what's your armor class Greg? 20 plate mail and shield absolutely that's just barely a hit with her first attack Oh minimum damage though. She just cuts you slightly for a total of Four points of damage Greg you have normally 52 hit points. That's right You're at 48 now after the first attack second attack is also a hit She hits you again with her longsword and she is getting again minimum damage just four damage damage her down to 44, and then just as you think, oh, nobody gets more than two attacks, she's not that much higher level than you, then she spins around and uses the short sword to try to get you.

2:10:49She's a two-weapon fighter, I'm sorry to say. With her bonus action, she gets a 19 plus 7, 26 to stab you with her short sword for a total of seven points of damage this time. That was the nasty attack, and that is going to bring you down to 37 out of 52 left. Certainly not even halfway dead yet, but you are a little injured now. Yeah. I will see if anyone else can get in a position. Ooh. And then, just barely reaching around her, the Frankenstein tries to grab you and pull you off your moth. Please roll me an athletics check. Oh. Luckily, you only need to beat an eight. As long as you get an eight or higher, you don't get pulled off your moth.

2:11:34This is on a 20.

2:11:35Big Cat:Mm-hmm.

2:11:39Six.

2:11:40Big Cat:Absolutely. I'm sorry to say, oh, you rolled a six on the die though, right? Yes. Can I ask what's your athletics bonus? Zero. Do you have the athletics skill? No. Okay, okay. I happen to know that your default strength is plus three. So what's your total on that? Are you rolling a six, you said? Yes. And with a nine total, you just barely with your strength avoid getting pulled over. That is your untrained athletics. because I forgot you're not trained in that, but you are still a strong character, 100%. And just to be clear, I said Frankenstein. The Frankenstein's monster, don't at me about this.

2:12:18The Frankenstein's monster is trying to pull you off your moth, does not succeed at doing so, but only just barely. In fact, I'd say it's probably still got one arm grabbing onto you right now. He's going to drag you out of your tent or something like that. And so you are absolutely, Greg, dealing with this threat effectively, and that's what's happening up on the bridge. meanwhile on the ground level we've got three thugs who just came running out the first thug is going to go after one two oh um assuming loud trade when you're on premises right yeah absolutely they're going after you i'm sorry to say you recklessly slapped your friend last turn so now he gets advantage on his attack to try to swing a short sword against you it's going to be a 13 plus 4 is a 17.

2:13:02Can I ask what's your armor class? Oh, my armor class is really good. I feel confident I'm hitting you, unfortunately, for 4 points of damage. And that is going to, since we haven't started your first rage yet. 15 is my armor class. 15, so I hit you for 4 damage, bringing you down to 55 out of 59. You're still doing fine. No problem. And then the next, another thug goes after you. Apparently they saw you go reckless and they thought you were a good target. I'm like that Spurs fan. Another hit for three more damage. Knocks you down. They're rolling good on attacks, but bad on damage. Brings you down to 52 now.

2:13:37And then the last person is going after one, two, three, four. Silent Tradewind. Apparently Tradewind brothers are tanking right now. This would be a shame. And that's going to be a 17. Can I ask what's your armor class, Tradewind? The top center. Bitch. So my armor class is 19. 19? Let's go clangs off your armor. No hit. that you're wearing heavy like chain mail and plate mail and a shield to be fair a loud train wind is running around mostly naked and just like just animal skins and like the you know uh your own skin is what protects you the most very much the mr incredible vibe but you are absolutely still taking those hits unfortunately but only little scrapes of damage that is going to bring us to the end of their turn and the beginning of loud train winds turn we got to find this

2:14:23PFT Commenter:spellbook we gotta find this spellbook i would like to uh or how how big is erlik oh uh so you are a big strong human barbarian erlik is technically a gnome gnomes are not so small they're like halfling size and how how good is my arm it's a strong arm uh yeah you're very athletic 100 you have a plus six i want to say on this i appreciate that uh i would like to pick up erlik and throw him towards wherever the spellbook may be you certainly well okay so what What you want to do first is climb up and into the tower where Lick is to get him. So first step would be an athletics check to climb up onto the bridge.

2:15:00There's no other easy way to get onto the bridge now. Are you going to rage as a bonus action? If so, you get advantage on all climbing and athletics checks. I think I want to keep my rage for when I throw them, right? You can rage now, and then you'll have the advantage on both checks, the throwing and the climbing. Let's rage. Ab, so you enter your barbarian rage. I'm a plus seven on athletics. Absolutely. Roll me two times on the d20 and add plus seven to the higher roll. That is a nine. Absolutely. That is a seven. Nine and a seven. So you said plus six? Plus seven. Plus seven. You needed a 15 or higher with a 16 total.

2:15:36You climb up onto the bridge, no problem. Now, roll me a perception check to see if you can see where Ehrlich is in the garbage below. While Greg is right next to you, covering your flank. Okay, and can I ask what's your perception skill bonus if you have one? I don't have one. Not very perceptive. Oh, but I'll let you use survival on this to track him down. So here's what you found. With a 19 total, you did not find Ehrlich yet, but you find footprints of Ehrlichs going down the stairs instead of up the stairs. Incidentally, we didn't address this, but there is a statue of a wizard very dramatically pointing a wand in your direction.

2:16:14PFT Commenter:can I can Erlich can you just say like hey here I am yeah certainly could absolutely you call out hey I'm gonna throw you at the spell book absolutely so as you go down the stairs I will just highlight you are stepping on the rune kind of automatically but that's when you find out that the statue rises off the ground says I'm Durlach and you shall be destroyed and all of a sudden it goes pew pew pew pew I'm gonna get you I'm gonna get you this is not an actual trap This statue was merely there to try to scare people away like a ring doorbell type situation It looks like a trap, but you do not need to worry about this wizard statue It's just an animatronic basically and then as you go down You are able to grab her like and start to throw him up through the center of the tower Yeah to get him to ideally the fourth floor.

2:17:02Yeah, look are you almost going? Aerodynamic to make him even better at this. Yes, absolutely. It's not resisting it. You're going with the flow I'll let you roll with advantage from rage and then give the rare, coveted, and highly illegal according to the actual rules of D &D double advantage. You can roll three times on this loud train wind. 12. 12 so far. 17. Uh-huh. 4. 17 plus your athletics bonus of plus 7 is more than enough. You send Ehrlich flying up past that statue on the second floor. I'm going to get you. It says as he goes flying by, he crashes through the floor of the third story, but doesn't take damage unless you wanted him to take damage.

2:17:46I don't want him to take damage. You do not want him to take damage. He finds like a gap in the floor that he just breaks through the boards and then continues rocketing through what appears to be a double library. It's almost like there's two libraries. The room is split in half. Dusty Library on the left, Dusty Library on the right, and they have two different names. Durlark Colat and Alcador Colat. This is the brother's old library you would know. The ones who made Frankenstein monsters and stuff like that. But you also know now, with the information we had gathered, this is not Manchun's library.

2:18:15You go through this library, crash through the floor, and just roll me a d20. As long as you don't get a one, you didn't accidentally send him through the magic circle. Well done. He crashes through the floor, lands in room floor four at the top of the outer tower, and he's next to the magic circle. Immediately you know. If you do an arcana check on this magic circle, you'll press the right combination of runes, open a portal to the pocket dimension where the spell book is. Let's do it. Absolutely. Now, on your turn, you'll be able to do that. However, you are automatically able to tell right now during Loud Trainwind's turn that you are not alone in this room, Ehrlich.

2:18:58You see in the rafters, like almost leading up to the conical cavity that is almost like an attic above this room, In the rafters, there are things slithering around above you. And you think you see one of them rear up. It's a snake. And spread wings. It's a flying snake. And there's more and more of them starting to gather around. I'll let you do one dice roll to see if you're noticing anything else.

2:19:22Big Cat:Also, does this still smell really bad from the garbage? Yes, very much so, 100%. It's not clear what they were throwing down there. What did you get? I got a one. This is a one or a ten? It's a one. okay is there a zero next to it well I don't know the last one I rolled I got a four but I thought it was actually a 14 it's a one with a natural one I'm sorry to say something bad has to happen to you and that is when suddenly you see arcing down from the rafters a beam of energy I am going to ask you to please roll me a d20 to see if something happens here come on

2:20:01five how'd you do a beam of white energy arcs down from the rafters and hits Ehrlich. I would say the only person seeing this is Loud Trainwind right now. You can see him standing through the hole to the fourth floor. He's standing there like, aha, there's the magic circle. The white beam hits him. He's frozen in place, paralyzed in that room as the snakes slither closer and you did not get a good look at what fired that beam of energy in his direction. That is your bonus action was raging. your move was getting down there your action would have been tossing him up but i would only count that as one of your attacks loud train wind if you would like to scale the steps yeah i'd like

2:20:42PFT Commenter:to just jump i'm just so strong i'd like to just jump through the hole that he made and i'll just hang out with my boy roll me one athletics check to jump if you roll well then you still have an attack 17 17 is that's enough already you can roll more time to see if you know honestly take it 100 so you jump all the way to land right next to the paralyzed erlich and now you can see above a creature that looks like this. Oh, fuck. You're mistaken for another fifth snake. There's like four flying snakes up here in the rafters. There is also a creature that you thought was a snake, but it was just one of its eye stalks.

2:21:18This is a creature called a spectator, a lesser version of a much more dangerous monster called a beholder. Luckily, this thing doesn't have ten eyes. It only gets four, but each of these eye stalks fires a different magical ability. You got hit by the white beam. that was the paralysis beam he's got three different things he can do and the center eye does something you might know with your good arcana what the center eye and what the other eyes do but you can't communicate it right now or okay so i'm not even gonna have your role right now you got one more attack loud train wind if you want to go after either this creature

2:21:49PFT Commenter:or one of the snakes he's not wearing glasses right he's not no no i'd like to i'd like to use my big strong titties in his face absolutely so it sounds like you're not attacking with your weapon. You're trying to almost smother him. I'm squishing him. I want to squish him. Roll me an athletics check to squish this guy. He's like a big Pac-Man floating in the air with a big mouth and a center eye above his... Let's see. Nine plus... I'm sorry, you roll two times and take the higher number. One for each breast. Four. So we'll take the nine. Plus seven is a sixteen. If he can get a sixteen or higher, he will avoid getting smothered.

2:22:28with a plus two that's only a 13 you begin to smother he's got a big mouth and you've got both powerful breasts upon it and you are smothering his giant mouth he's trying to bite but he can't do it easily but he's going to try to bite on you maybe on his next turn i will roll to see when this guy's going to go oh critical hit not that that's matters at all he is going to go at the beginning of the next initiative no problem but that is your turn loud train wind that's going to bring us to Ehrlich now.

2:22:57PFT Commenter:I feel like we got somewhere. I'm sorry to say you're paralyzed right now, but you get to end your turn rolling a saving throw to try to break free of the paralysis. If you roll really well, I'll give you some of your turn to do whatever you want.

2:23:13Three. I'm sorry to say you remain paralyzed, Ehrlich. And to your credit, paralysis is largely controversial in the game of D &D. It's like, so I don't get to do anything. It does fucking suck. I apologize, but I think it's a... No, you don't.

2:23:29PFT Commenter:This is a tough game. Tim, I forgot to say one thing about my turn. When I jumped up, I dropped a bunch of ropes for all my boys. Hey, I love that. I forgot to say that. 100 % to know their stairs and rope for people to climb up. Yeah, so my guys can climb up. 100%. I love it. That is a legal retcon I will allow. 100%. Love that. So that is going to bring us from Ehrlich's turn to silent train wind now. This is bullshit.

2:23:56Big Cat:D &D and Tim Woods is brought to you by Jose Cuervo. When Cuervo enters, every moment just gets better. You find yourself in the center of the dance floor. You can't help but stand up and high-five those around you at the game and the room reacts like you just got the same text at the same time. You stop checking the time and suddenly small talk escalates to laughing so hard that you can barely catch your breath. That's the Cuervo effect. Signal everybody understands a moment that anyone can join and a good time that just grows. All you have to do is keep it Cuervo. now more dnd is is there a possibility to wear dude get up here i could hit the rope right you could climb the rope or attack the rope just make oh we're using the rope to get get you can either climb up the stairs or climb up the rope to get to the top floor of the outer tower that's not an issue grab the boys too everybody's

2:24:46PFT Commenter:coming right we're hitting absolutely you grew up the rope so that way they don't have to get I'm on that bridge. Yes. I'm going to say the rope dangled all the way down to the ground floor. So it's like, now you don't have to worry about the bridge anymore.

2:24:57Big Cat:You grab them all. You down to climb? Hop on, yeah. We're like possums. Thanks for asking. Yeah, let's take that. If you guys can sail and take that trip. Yeah. So if you're helping carry all three people up, I'd like you to roll three times as long as you don't get a one on any of these. Everybody gets up okay. How do we do? Zach? There's a one. Okay. So Zach, you tell everyone to kind of climb on your back like possums kind of And you start to climb and within a few seconds of getting halfway to the bridge the rope breaks No, actually sorry, that's a one, that has to be the worst possible outcome You made it, okay, you climb up onto the bridge no problem You keep climbing the rope and as you're all about to pull yourself up into the fourth floor That's when the rope breaks and you are about to fall three stories into the garbage pit below.

2:25:49Exactly. Unless you roll one dexterity saving throw to grab on.

2:25:53PFT Commenter:Take the fucking drugs, dude. Make yourself superhuman. That's what plague does. Seven. Seven is not the number I was looking for. Take the drugs, dude. You rolled a D8.

2:26:04Big Cat:You rolled an eight, right? Or a 12? What did you roll? That might have been incorrect dice. Wait, did you roll a D20? You rolled a D20? Yeah, you rolled a wrong guy. I'm sorry, when you got the one, was that the D20 you were rolling? Yeah, it was the D20. Okay, yeah, do be like that. It certainly was. So roll me another D20. You're adding your dexterity, which is a minus one on this, but let's see.

2:26:26Three. Three is not enough. I'm sorry to say you're pinwheeling your arms trying to grab on to something, anything. Can he take the PCP? Yeah, if you want to take drugs to try to be better at this, I'll let you roll to see if the drugs help with this, but I don't think the deadly virus is necessarily going to help you grab on better, unfortunately. We took the good half of this entire turn.

2:26:47Big Cat:This other half didn't test too well. Absolutely. That's my bonus action, Hank. That's my bonus. Now, what I will say is you're about to plummet down to the ground below. I'll give the other two people who are on your back their own roll, but you guys really got to get like a very high roll to not end up in the garbage pit with silent train wind. Yeah, falling three stories onto a needle filled with plague is bad. Actually, yes, 100%. I did not even think of that. God damn it. Nine is not enough. And Greg, it sounds like you were climbing up as well. To be fair, your moth wouldn't fit through the door.

2:27:21So you kind of have to. I rolled a four. A four. Both, all of you are falling down. Then everyone just, who's landing on the ground, just roll me one more d20. As long as you don't get a one, you don't land on the needle. I'll roll the damage. Shot die. 15. Eight. Okay. Okay. Ooh, not a bad damage roll. What did you roll there? Two. Two. You noticed the needle was poked into your body, but the plunger didn't go through. So you didn't get injected, luckily. Everybody who just took a tumble there just took 11 points of damage. This is your fault. That's going to bring Greg down to 26 left. It's going to bring Silent Trainwind down to 28 out of 39.

2:28:04And then Wayne, you took 11. and you're down to 40 out of 51 now. So everyone's a little injured, and that is, sorry, that was right after Loud Trainwind had gone, Erlich had gone, and that was Silent Trainwind's turn.

2:28:18PFT Commenter:I told you this guy was a bitch. I warned you. It's not good. Yeah. Now you need the rest of your movement to stand up in the garbage pit, and you're not dead, but you are badly injured. You could do a healing spell if you wanted to as your action. You could also try to climb up to the top floor again with your action. Can I heal the guys? You can, 100%. Yeah, I would like to heal the guys. Absolutely. I'm going to let you do a third-level group healing spell. That is going to be, I believe, 1d8 that you roll, and everybody gets that much back. 1d8 plus 3, plus 4, actually.

2:28:53Big Cat:So 6 and 4, so 10? 10. Everybody's getting 10 hit points back 100%. So Greg's at 36 now. Silent Train, when you are at 38. Thank you, SD. and 10 back to Wayne is going to bring him up to 50. Upstairs, Ehrlich is not injured at all, and I would say that spell could have just barely reached Loud Trainwind if you wanted to heal him back up to full. Would you like to do so? Yes. Absolutely. You get everybody healed, and that would be the end of your turn then. Silent Trainwind, well done. Wayne, we are back to you. What would you like to do? I'd like to go up to the library area where the spell book is, and there's a bunch of snakes up there.

2:29:35Big Cat:So I'd like to do fireball and try to destroy every snake there. Okay, so with a fireball you will get every single snake no problem. The snakes aren't in melee with anybody. There also is the spectator, the eyeball monster. You can catch him in the blast but only if you're also willing to hit Ehrlich and Loud Trainwind. I'm willing to do that. Absolutely. It's a hard decision. Your fireball is going to be well i'm frozen so this will this will this is gonna mean that he's automatically taking the full damage no saving throw i thought he was dead you think you're literally frozen like an ice yeah not like an ice but frozen like this like you can't even protect your face or anything if someone hits you in melee they're just like clobbering you right in the face it's bad yeah i walked up there i saw he wasn't moving i assumed he was dead so i'm like i might as well take him out too absolutely incidental yeah you can kind of like get up into that third floor library looking up into the top floor, launch a fireball, you'll be safe, but everybody in that room is about to get cooked.

2:30:36You don't roll a d20. Instead, you roll eight d6s and add them together, and that's how much damage everybody's taking. The snakes are all... Two. Three. Four.

2:30:54Big Cat:Six. Fifteen. Three. Eighteen. Two. 20 1 21 What a roll 1 22 Not great So that was definitely 8 Were you with a D2 there? I think so 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Yeah, I think that is right Not great Not an ideal But at the same time Can I ask Yeah, so you would have a charisma Let's see No, they would need a 16 The snakes rolled a 15 Every one of the snakes Is cooked by the 22 points of damage Congratulations I just killed all the snakes Killed every snake Poisonous snakes are now dead Well done.

2:31:32PFT Commenter:What the hell was he talking about? Well, you were also in the room.

2:31:34Big Cat:So the fireball hit you, too.

2:31:36PFT Commenter:That's fine. I have so much fucking armor, dude.

2:31:39Big Cat:Hank's paralyzed, so he can't defend himself against it. That's why. Oh, that's a shame. Yeah. The spectator eyeball monster. Why did he even show up to these? Critical hit. Critical hit? And so there's one corner damage, I'm sorry to say, for all that trouble. He's taking five points of damage. You can tell he has over 30 left. Okay. And then, Hank, you take 22 points of damage from that fireball. That is going to knock you down. From the full hit points, you were at 45 full hit points. You are now down to 23. Sorry, I did see you there. Mm-hmm. Now, I am going to need loud train wind to also please roll.

2:32:13Oh, yeah. Two times because you get advantage thanks to something called danger sense.

2:32:17PFT Commenter:Okay.

2:32:20Eight.

2:32:25PFT Commenter:Thirteen. Thirteen. Okay. The number that you needed to beat was his number of 16. You have a plus two to your dexterity modifier. That's all right. And you don't have training it. Yeah, so it would unfortunately just barely be the full 22 fire damage. That's fucking fine, dude. Your rage doesn't protect you from it. But you earn bullet points thanks to the healing from Silent Train when you're half-brother 100%.

2:32:48Big Cat:Oh, you healed me? Yeah, heal the boys, yeah. Everybody took some damage, so you know. Appreciate that. As a supporter, you got to heal a little bit. Can I bestow a curse as my other action? Ooh, I'm allowing it 100%. Who do you want to put a curse upon? I'd like to make it so that Ehrlich can't read. Yeah, absolutely. So even if he gets the spell book, he can't use it ever. Ehrlich, roll me a wisdom saving throw or a charisma saving throw to try to avoid this attack. Roll me one d20. Five. You are currently illiterate, I'm sorry to say. Until a cleric casts a move curse upon you. 100%. Absolutely.

2:33:25Oh, I'm sorry. That will bring us from Wayne's turn to Greg the Paladin's turn.

2:33:31Big Cat:Is that your Hellas Rebuke? Oh, um, technically that's when you... Good call, actually. Paralyzed first and foremost. Secondly, it has to be an attack that deals damage to you where you get to hellish rebuke them. But otherwise, great memory there, Hank. You don't even know what those words mean. Unfortunately, you can't move. How are you reading your paper? I just knew that. I didn't read one paper. You know, Hank, I forgot you had hellish rebuke. Would you have liked to hellish rebuke that eyeball monster when it paralyzed you? I would let you roll to see if you pulled it off before you got paralyzed.

2:34:04Yeah, of course. Roll me one d20. If you get an 11 or higher, you pulled it off before. 10. Ah!

2:34:11Big Cat:D's a roll. Still pretty good. Brutal. It's a good roll. Good roll. That will bring us then to Greg's turn. Greg, I'm sorry to say you landed at the bottom of the water, but then you got healed back up to 36 currently at a 52. What would you like to do? I don't know why I agreed to hop on the rope when I was on a flying moth. So here's the thing. I did think of that too, but the moth wouldn't have fit in the door, unfortunately. It's too big, like a horse-sized moth. So how can I get up there with everybody? Right now, you could try to climb up the rope or the stairs with a roll, basically. Yeah, I'll take the stairs.

2:34:43Absolutely. I didn't want to say it, but there were stairs the whole time. We never asked. We never asked. It do be like that. To be fair, throwing got him there quicker, so can't argue with that. 20? D20. D20, and you add your plus three athletics. 17. 17, a dirty 20 is going to make it all the way up. So I'm going up the stairs really well? Was that? I'm like very nimbly going up the stairs? Yeah, absolutely. You're making the full distance. Once you jump, in fact, with a 20 or higher, I will give you an advantage on the first attack roll against anybody you attack here. The eyeball monster still has over 30 hit points left.

2:35:15I think we hit him. Absolutely. What weapon would you like to use on the spectator? My longsword, please. Absolutely. Longsword is a great choice. Roll me a d20, I believe, plus six. Now, if I cut off one of the tentacles like that has the paralyzing eye, does that unparalyze? I would say if you either kill him or no one's ever suggested that before. Chop off the paralyzing eye. Totally would free your teammate. Roll me a knowledge check to see if you know which one is the paralyzing eye. Seven. Seven. I'm sorry to say you're aiming for the wrong one. It's the whispering eye instead. I'm sorry to say you are.

2:35:49Yeah, I would like to aim for that. Absolutely. Go ahead and roll a d20 plus, I think, six to see if you can hit with your long sword. Nine. Nine. Okay. Nine plus six. The armor class of this guy is 14. A 15 still hits him. go ahead and tell me before you even roll your damage, would you like to do another, your second powerful smite against this monster? Tim, I'd like to use my second smite. Absolutely. Please roll four D8s. Add them all up, and then we'll add, I believe, plus three. One. Six. Six. Seven. Three. Three. Okay, so that's 17 plus another three. 20 damage in all against this spectator is going to bring him up to 25 damage so he has exactly 13 left at this point um you have done your first attack you definitely got up here in time to do your second attack i don't think i gave you advantage on that first attack so i if you want to do a second attack against the spectator i'll give you advantage on that one there are no more snakes there are no more snakes they got barbecued by the fireball okay yeah yeah i'll do the second So you roll me two d20s this time.

2:37:0211. Already hit. 12. 12. You are hitting him again. Now he's got exactly 13 left. Your sword only deals 1d8 plus 3, but you're out of your higher level smites. If you use a lesser smite, you would get 3d8 plus 3 damage against this guy. Do you want to go for the lesser smite? I'd only have one left after that. You would have actually only one left after that because one of the smites was your casting compelled duel. I want to sit on the smites. Okay, you're sitting on the smites. Roll 1d8 plus 3 damage against this guy. He's got 13 left. 8. 8 plus 3 is 11 more damage. Brings him down to just 2 hit points left.

2:37:46Greg, you had bardic inspiration, but it couldn't help you because you already hit with all of your attacks. Anything with your bonus action. He's almost dead. Unfortunately, this spectator is going next. Can the paralyzed speak or is it their body? Sorry? Great question. No, you cannot talk while paralyzed. No, I'm done. And you didn't. When you did that second attack, I rolled to see if you got the right eye. It did not free him, unfortunately. Okay, I'm done. Okay, absolutely. That is going to bring us to the spectator at this point. This eyeball monster starts looking around. and first of all is going to pick who to fire his orange beam at.

2:38:24Well, not Ehrlich again. You're paralyzed, so he's going to pick somebody else. Let's see. Actually, there's only four options, so okay. I am sorry to say that right now he is firing an orange beam of energy at you, Loud Trainwind. Please roll me a d20. As long as you can get a 13 or higher, you're fine.

2:38:46And three. Three is not enough. you immediately fall under the confusion effect and suddenly you realize everyone around you is an enemy oh no you're gonna attack someone random on your turn unless we free you from this confusion and you go next is the bad news then he fires a second beam at someone here will be and that's gonna be one two three so uh to be fair i guess he's firing it down through the hole in the floor at Silent Train Wind. There's a black beam of energy coming your way. Silent Train Wind, please roll me a d20 to see if you can avoid it. It's a five. Five. I'm sorry to say you get hit by the withering beam, I think it is called.

2:39:31I guess it's the whispering beam. And you are getting a bad start. Okay, not so bad. 10 damage so far. 14 damage as your skin sort of withers up a little bit. 14 damage is going to take Silent Train Wind down to 24 hit points left. But that's the end of the spectator's turn. Loud train wind. Please roll me a D. Let's see. There's one other enemy in the room. Roll me a D6 and re-roll it if you get a six. There's five possible enemies you could hit here. One is Ehrlich. Two is Wayne. Three is... Actually, silent train wind isn't up here right now. So apologies. Roll me the D4. The four is silent die.

2:40:15PFT Commenter:I would like to potentially hit silent trade one too. Oh, okay. Never mind. Then roll a D6. I'll add. Yeah. All right. Wait a minute. Is that your stomach? By the way, if we don't finish this today, Tim is actually coming to camp. What? Yeah. So we'll be able to. That's great. Breaking moves. Breaking moves. Very excited. Breaking moves. Tim is coming to camp and Tiago Splitter has been hired as the Bulls head coach. I will also say my start in Dungeons & Dragons was like at Boy Scout summer camp, so this will be like a return homecoming kind of for me, it feels like. Where's the six? So the d6 is the cubic die, just your regular dice, basically.

2:40:57Oh, I'm an idiot. No worries. So what number is he? Right now, you are hoping if you want to hit him, one, two, three is the number. Two. I'm sorry to say Wayne suddenly looks monstrous to you. You feel incredibly like you want to attack Wayne. Please roll me two d20s. 20s, I'm going to say you're going reckless against Wayne.

2:41:16PFT Commenter:Sorry, Wayne. It's alright. If anyone you should blame 16, you should blame Prince Greg. Why Prince Greg? You put me in this mood, dude. I did this? Yeah. The guy hit me and then I lost my mind and started going reckless. Is that not what happened? He might hit you whether I hit him or not. Right, but the eyeball monster hit me. I was squishing him. You're lashing out at everybody now. I was squishing him. Who do you have left in your corner? I rolled a 16. Can I please do a re-roll on who I'm attacking? Yes, okay. Roll me a d20 first. If you roll well on the d20 you get a re-roll on this. You're almost like trying to suss out who the most dangerous is.

2:41:54I'd like to take down Prince Greg now. 10. 10. That is enough for you to roll the d6 again. So what is Prince Greg? 3 is... Oh, sorry. 4 would be Prince Greg.

2:42:04PFT Commenter:2, 3, 4. 1. Okay, got it. 2 again. 2 again. Sorry to say it is meant to be. How did you do on the d20 attack against Wayne? 16. 16. 16, that's a hit. Your damage is 2d6 plus 8 with your magic axe. Go ahead and roll 2d6 plus 8 damage against this guy.

2:42:252, 3, 5 plus 8, 13 damage against Wayne. Not ideal. Is going to bring him down to 37. This thing was attacking regardless. Have you seen it? Absolutely.

2:42:38PFT Commenter:I was squishing it with my titties. You do get two attacks. I will let you now roll another D6 to see who the target of your second attack is. He's going to attack me again here. Six. We don't have a six. We re-roll that exactly right. Four. Four is Prince Greg. Dang. You are attacking right now. Please roll two D20s against him. Should have done this. Five. 19. 19 is a solid hit for another 2D6 plus 8 damage against Greg. I'm just one on the record. I'm not trying to attack my guys. Oh, I know. You were hit with the orange beam of energy. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it.

2:43:13I get it.

2:43:13PFT Commenter:I get it. What am I doing now? This is not good. 2d6 plus 8 damage against Greg. Keep him all the time low. 5. 5. So that's 7 plus 8. 15 damage on Greg. Oh, no. He's going to knock him down to 21 left. Mm. And after those two attacks, that brings us to Ehrlich's turn. Ehrlich, please roll me a d20. If you roll well, you'll break free at the end of your turn. If you roll really well, you'll get your turn. I can't. What's it say? 11.

2:43:41Big Cat:Two? One more?

2:43:42PFT Commenter:Yeah. Yeah, I'd say so. It's wearing off at this point. This guy's getting injured. 13. 13. 13 is enough that you break free and have just enough of an action to do one minor action. The bad news is that can't be an attack. It can be a skill check, including an arcana check. if you wanted to try to open the portal while we are dealing with the last of the enemies here to get the spell book.

2:44:11Big Cat:Let's do investigation. Okay. You have to look around. Can we talk to the scary snake? The snakes are all dead, unfortunately. You could ask the spectator. That would be a persuasion or better yet, intimidation check. You would have advantage because he's down to two hit points left. This spectator is scared of us, and he's getting smothered by some big, powerful breasts. So you are absolutely able to roll two times. You know what? I really wasn't giving you credit for having smothered him. Roll three times on this right now. D20? Absolutely. Eight. Eight.

2:44:47Six. Six. Five. Jesus. Eight plus what's your... Six. Do you have intimidation plus six? Fourteen. Let me see. That might be enough. I'm sorry to say this spectator is not getting scared of you right now, Ehrlich. Unfortunately, Silent Train wins turn now. Silent Train went to be fair. This spectator is almost dead and you could try a religion skill check to like open up the portal riff. But you're not very good at that.

2:45:17Big Cat:Yeah, I would like to I would like to think about maybe doing that. I would if possible. I'd like to get rid of the rest of this. This play in my pocket real quick before we continue. I don't want any mishaps. Would you be cool with me just maybe like just injecting like the nearest wolf wandering around with the rest of this plague? There were enemies still trying to break into this tower, and I imagine we kind of shut through behind us. You can inject those enemies, or you could run up and inject the spectator with the plague. Yeah, I'd like to just toss this plague into the woods. Hopefully the wolf finds it.

2:45:44Big Cat:Absolutely. So you just want to toss it out into the wilderness. Roll me one d20 to make sure it gets out and spreads. That's a five. With five, some rat eats it and then starts moving through the city. Oh, no. It's not going out into the wilderness. It's going out into the city. This isn't good. It's just the worst plague, right? And spreading throughout the city. I'd say that was your bonus action. Anything you want to do with your action? Is there a chance that that rat bites a wolf in the near future? Yeah, roll to see. You're like almost trying to guide the rat. He really wants to create a super wolf.

2:46:15Big Cat:Damn it, that's okay. How do we do? Wait. You know what? Roll two times and take the higher number. So the higher number would be six. Six. There's a wolf who's getting bit, but it's just getting sickly and stuff. But if you find it, you might be able to get this wolf evolved into a super wolf. Why do you want a super wolf so bad?

2:46:39PFT Commenter:Does this have anything to do with the fact that I was raised by wolves because of our bitch mother?

2:46:43Big Cat:Yeah, and who knows? This plague might just take out any wolf around. That's not good. Absolutely, a family of wolves somewhere. I didn't really think about that. That's unfortunate. I would hate for us to lose all the wolves in this world you do know the wolf who got infected and is like almost like withering up now is a member of the family that's my brother that's super unfortunate that's more my brother than you that's super unfortunate that some of your wolf family members are going to wither from a plague I didn't mean to do that oh sorry Silent Train, I forgot you had bardic inspiration would you like to roll a d6 and add it on to that roll see if maybe the wolf, anything else is happening to the wolf with a 4 or higher on the d6 That's a one.

2:47:22No further notes. And that will bring us to Wayne's turn. Yeah, I want to go get the spell book. I want to answer the riddles.

2:47:29Big Cat:I want to get into the thing. So Wayne, if you run up the stairs, just roll a d20. And as long as you get a one, you're pretty much up there. Taking the stairs, I imagine.

2:47:4118. 18. You easily climb up to the top floor. You see the spectator with his last two hit points being smothered and wailed upon. You could do something that or just focus. I want to focus. Let's get the spell book. Which are arcana bonus? Arcana bonus is plus four. Four. Roll me a d20 plus four. It's a 16. 16 plus four is a dirty 20 and that is the exact number you needed. You press the right combination of runes. This rift opens not a portal big enough to step through but more like a VCR opening where you see this rectangle of just empty starry space appear a floating table with a black grimoire upon this table.

2:48:21A massive spellbook of great, incredible power that you could reach out and claim right now if you wanted to.

2:48:28Big Cat:I would love to claim the Book of Immense Power too. Absolutely. You're not doing anything with your action before you do that. Is that right? That's a good question. Always fun when the DMs ask a question like that. That is an interesting question for you to ask me at this point. What was the question? You could look around for any other danger or something like that. You can make another Arcana check to see if your Arcana tells you about any danger. Just wondering if he does anything before reaching for the book. We don't know why I would ask a question like that.

2:48:54PFT Commenter:Roback question. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com Promo code TAKE. 20 % off first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Wayne, would you like to do anything before you reach for the book? I think I'd be strongly advised to do an

2:49:06Big Cat:Arcana check. You certainly could. To see what's going on here. Absolutely. Okay, D20? Mm-hmm. Pussy. That is a 10. 10 is enough that you notice runes around the edge of the table, but with a 10 plus four of 14, it's not powerful magic, and you know it's not a trap that's going to hurt you in any way. In fact, you can't really tell exactly what these runes are going to do, but they're between you and reaching for the book. So if you reach for the book, your hand will pass over the runes, and something will happen. But it won't hurt you, you don't think. Not going to hurt me. Absolutely. So if you don't know exactly what, do you reach for the book anyway and take it now as the end of your turn?

2:49:42I'm going to reach for this book, Tim. Absolutely. as you reach for the book you are able to grab the book take it and now you have the power to become a great wizard like lord man shun however the runes begin to beep beep light up like an

2:49:56PFT Commenter:alarm suddenly the magic circle begins to manifest i thought you deleted it and greg anything you want to do in the single turn we get before this teleportation circle is going to do something No thanks. No, that's not reasonable what I can say. Suddenly, we see in the middle of the teleportation circle, the rift shut, and an individual begin to appear. Stepping through a portal of their own, man, Shun arrives and looks around this room like a massive, powerful shredder. He looks around, no nonsense. And I would like, oh, I'm going to roll to see if he knows. Oh, no. With a critical hit, he suddenly says, who are all of you?

2:50:43Wait a minute. I know one of you. What are you doing here? Loud trade wind. Oh, fuck. My son. No! He says, I am your father. No way. And I left you to get raised by wolves. I see you have returned once again the prodigal son who I cast out what do you do you say anything to Manchun or should we end right here I think this is a perfect ending can't get to a more dynamite ending than that 100 %

2:51:16PFT Commenter:but if I were to say anything it would be like yeah I am your son let's team up and kill that fucking bitch half brother that I have he reaches out to you and he says I never I knew of your half brother and he is my enemy. Join me and together we will rule the city of Waterdeep. Do you accept? I accept. Absolutely. And we'll see how that goes then in our next game. 100%. What a twist. And we'll do like a mini episode at Barstool Camp. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah.

2:51:52Big Cat:Did you know the whole time?

2:51:53PFT Commenter:No. I had no idea.

2:51:55Big Cat:This was my little surprise. You took down that wolf, you bitch. Absolutely. And if there's anything I would have to say, it was that mom didn't talk about you much, so I completely forgot. They were raised by wolves. Unfortunately, I would like to say sorry. All the wolves that cared about you are dead. They're so dead. Let me actually make a note of that. The wolves are all dying. Sorry to infect your loved ones with a plague. I didn't mean to do that.

2:52:21PFT Commenter:That was accidental. That was incredible. Thank you so much. I'm very excited to come to Barstool Camp. That's going to be so much fun. And I will just say, I am going to be at Gen Con this summer in Indianapolis at the beginning of August. You can sign up for my games there. And for the first time, I'm going to be running a meet and greet at Kilroy's Bar just down the block. Let's go. The guy at Kilroy's, Jacob, is a big AWL. I came over last year and he like put us up and like gave us food and everything. He's the most wonderful guy. We're going to do a meet and greet with the fans there. And I'm going to be doing for the first time a miniature paint intake.

2:52:54I'm really bad at painting miniatures, but if you want to come and paint bad miniatures with me, I'm going to be doing that at Gen Con as well. And of course, as I mentioned last time, I'm doing the cruise in October. There are still tickets to my table. I'm going to be running the Fallout RPG, actually, because I'm a big fan of the video game Fallout. And I like to do stuff other than D &D. So if you're interested in Fallout, we're going to be going to Alaska on the cruise. And Fallout's like important to the Fallout setting. So I'm kind of doing a little bit of a different non-D &D game. That's awesome.

2:53:21Absolutely. Tim, you're the best. You can't wait for Barstool Camp. Absolutely. Looking forward to it more than anything. Honestly, that's going to be a lot of fun.

2:53:28PFT Commenter:Okay, last one. Sending you into Fourth of July weekend. Chill week next week. Get excited. Numbers. 77. 50.

2:53:38Big Cat:8. 4. 95. We'll go 15. 69. 31. For the amount of runs of the first. 11. And that's what was last week? Oh, last week, you mean? Yeah. What about last week? I thought about doing 15 for that reason. But I thought it was.

2:53:57PFT Commenter:95. Shane! Shane!

2:54:03Big Cat:Let's go, Shane! Puna! Shout out Puna. All right, how about that? Is that your first one on the new machine? Yeah, it is. Oh, wow. Congrats, Shane. Wow. Thank you.

2:54:12PFT Commenter:So who has not gotten it on the new machine? Me and memes. Memes, PFT, Colton. No, not in the new one. It doesn't really count when I got it. Is that it? Memes, PFT, and Colton? Memes got it. I mean, PFT got it. No. I haven't got it. Me and PFT got it the same way. No.

2:54:33Big Cat:Mine was a Mickey Mouse. I'm not even trying to claim. Memes tries to claim his, and it's very sad. What was the Mickey Mouse of it? It wasn't a real one. It was just the second.

2:54:41PFT Commenter:It was the second I said, this doesn't count. Well, you were like, it would be sad if you claimed it. Yeah. That's what he said. Yeah. It wasn't an official one. I was like, yeah, sure, I'll get it. It wasn't an official one. He said it wasn't an official at the time. So he did not get that. It doesn't count.

2:54:54Big Cat:Yeah, but it came up.

2:54:55PFT Commenter:No, but it doesn't count. So it's down to memes, Colton, and PFT. I can't lose to these two guys. Wow. Wow. And we know...

2:55:05Big Cat:This machine's ripping.

2:55:06PFT Commenter:Yeah, but if we know... I think we got to stop doing two, because that's probably part of it.

2:55:10Big Cat:The machine is ripping. It's a fair point.

2:55:12PFT Commenter:Yeah, but if we know... But also, if we know how the machine works, the next one's going to... Or the last one is going to take, like, another year. I hope. Yeah. We can't afford to get another machine.

2:55:25Big Cat:Listen, I've had such good luck with lotto ball machines this year that I can't complain. That's true. I got the one that counted.

2:55:34PFT Commenter:You didn't get this one.

2:55:37Big Cat:Love you guys. Happy birthday, America. Happy birthday, Josh McCown.

2:55:44Big Cat:Happy birthday, Tom Cruise in that movie where, you know. You know.

2:55:55Thank you.

2:56:25Thank you.

2:56:57Thank you.

2:57:23Thank you.

2:57:53Thank you.