NFL Week 1, Fastest 2 Minutes, Bills/Texans Thriller, Bears Drop A 50 Burger, Eagles vs Commanders Plus Who's Back Of The Week

24:16PFT Commenter:Yeah. Every inch matters, right? It's a game of inches. I always say that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Those are better. Guardian caps are better this year. You're right. Is that this year or is that last year? Yeah, that has to be last. Or is this preseason? Must have been preseason. That was preseason. Okay, yeah. They look nicer. Yeah. Do you buy Dan Campbell saying, I'm not concerned about the defense. We got to tighten some stuff up. Because they did. The Saints were able to kind of have their way with him in the last quarter and a half. I do not buy that. I think he is concerned. And I think they just restructured some contracts.

24:50I think they're going to try to sign or trade for someone. Yeah.

24:53PFT Commenter:They do get Kirby Joseph and Brian Branch back eventually, so that would help, but yeah. Yeah, I mean, Brian Branch, when he's playing and when he's healthy, is one of the best defensive backs in the entire NFL, so that's going to be huge. But I do think that they're – I don't think that this starting lineup is going to be the starting lineup for the Lions in, say, a month or a month and a half. Yeah. I think they'll make an addition. This is a fun game to watch. Tyler Shuck, he's just got to start faster because it really was – they did kind of just get into a – I mean, they were down 21-0. That game felt like it was completely over.

25:27PFT Commenter:And like I said, he just caught fire. And that's kind of what he's done the end of last year. It's just, can you do it for four quarters? Who was in the booth making that call on the fumble? Is that Big Ten squad? Oh, I don't know who was in the booth. Well, Pereira was the one on the mic. Selling it to America. He was. He was gaslighting us. And he's, you know what? It's reached a point where I've read the rule book now. I think they just changed the rule book today. I think after that call, somebody logged online. Yeah. They didn't even give us the courtesy of the, hey, this is a point of emphasis.

26:03PFT Commenter:Any ball thrown backwards is not going to be a fumble anymore. Yeah. We would have watched for it in the Hall of Fame game. This is ridiculous. I feel gaslit. No. Did anybody in the booth know that? No. It was the most clear fumble ever. We watched the replay. We didn't have the sound on, and then watch another game turn back on. It was like, how did the Lions have the ball back? Yeah. Where did the touchdown go? I don't care what they say. That was a fumble. I agree. So you think Saints win? Are you awarding the Saints a win? Yeah, Shuck won that game. Okay, so who gets the game balls? Shuck.

26:37There are eight of them. Remember, it's going to win. Lave, Shuck. Chase Young for the sack. Fumble, yeah.

26:46The referees for getting the call right in your mind?

26:49PFT Commenter:Their backup running back who scored a touchdown when we really need Travis H. H. H. H. H. H. H. No offense. No offense. Yes. Saint. Out of nowhere. People forget. Yeah. We missed that name, Zach. H. H. H. Yeah. Well, no. No. No. Kendry Miller. Yeah. Should deserve it. That was another thing I forgot today. What? I forgot that his name pronunciation is now H. We interviewed him, remember? When Hank farted? I know, I remember. Because the Pelicans facility. There was a point in the cave today where I was like, we're not watching the Dolphins game. Why are we rooting for HN to score? Yeah. Well, I do kind of blame Hank because Hank, he picked HN to score in our group parlay that we had.

27:39Do you want to talk about that, Hank?

27:40PFT Commenter:We had seven out of eight. He did not score, and I blame him because I don't blame you for picking him. I blame you for picking him and then mispronouncing his name the entire time. I feel like that was bad. I was calling him H.A. in the whole time. Not at the start. Stephen Chay was not, but his brain's gone. Yeah, I mean, listen, he had his chances. They had their backup score touchdown from the one-yard line. That's just how football goes sometimes. And the last leg was the Packers, so it didn't matter. Didn't matter, yep. Yeah. You're kind of throwing Rico under the bus with that one. I didn't say names.

28:14That's okay. Oh, also, Amon Ra is awesome.

28:18PFT Commenter:He's just a – he's a – he's the most dependable, like, we need a first down, we need a big catch guy, maybe in the league, where you're just like, okay, we'll just go to Amon Ra. He's that type of guy. The way that he runs – when they hit him close to the line of scrimmage, from that point on, he kind of runs like he's a tight end. Yeah. And he will just run people over, and he's usually smaller than some of the guys, like the linebackers that are taking him down. But if you get him the ball in, like, a tunnel screen, he will break three tackles. If he needs six yards, he will get you seven yards.

28:47PFT Commenter:And not only that, but if you're sitting, if the Lions are sitting at like a third and six, you just know that he's going to get open on like a slant or some type of route that will get him exactly seven yards to get that first out. Yeah. It's crazy. And he ended up scoring the touchdown in overtime. Yeah, it was a game-winning touchdown, even though we went to a two-point conversion. Do you think they should have done a two-point conversion in regulation? Nah. There's too much time. There's like a minute left. Go to overtime. Got to go to overtime there. the new over shout new overtime rules i mean they're not new new but like it is nice i do to see i do like it the whole thing yep uh all right next up bangles 33 bucks 27 if i told you zach on friday that the tampa bay buccaneers would not punt in this game and Jamar Chase would catch two balls for 12 yards, what would you have said the final score would be?

29:47PFT Commenter:And a pick six. And a pick six. I would say that we would win in great fashion. Yeah. Unbelievable fashion. Unfortunately. Not the case. Four fumbles negated all that because the Bengals have a defense now. Yeah, the whole game came just down to turnovers. Four fumbles, 24 points off of those fumbles. That's an uphill battle for any team. Yeah. It almost seemed like the Bengals' defense was outpacing their offense. Like, for anybody that's in that locker room on the defensive side, today must have felt like such a great moment. Oh, yeah. Great moment where you hit the locker room after the game, and you're like, hey, try to keep up, Joe.

30:21They gave up 20 points. We got you, little bro.

30:23PFT Commenter:If the Bengals' defense can give up 20 points and force that – I mean, obviously they're not going to force four fumbles every game, but 20 points against a very good offense in the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Bengals are going to be a scary, scary team. and it's hard to like you want to be more frustrated about the like ball security today but the flip side of that is like baker extending a lot of plays is how we get points sometimes so like taking those risks is also like a highlight of the team so i completely agree with that you can't yes obviously the fumbles are bad and you don't want them and there was the one where he's going in but a big part of your offense is baker being able to keep plays alive and and kind of like never giving up uh and and being a tough motherfucker so yes sometimes these games will happen but i came away from this game being like watch out for the bengals because like i said jamar chase was two catches for 12 yards and the bengals defense had four sacks six qb hits forced those four fumbles they uh they they just played better than they have i guess they played a little bit better at the end of last year but they look like they are a real unit and on top of that the Bengals offensive line played well like the the Todd Bowles blitzed a decent amount and and they were they held up Joe Burrow said it in the postgame like they did a good job and they won that battle and they were able to run the ball Joe Burrow was under center more Joe Burrow ran the ball like he said it before the season he was gonna use his legs more it felt like the Bengals that was like a complete Bengals victory especially early in the season that we haven't seen in a long time yeah I think they finally got the message that we like these games in September have to be treated like desperation.

32:05PFT Commenter:Yeah. Because if you don't stack these, then they're going to be fucked down the road. But Baker, the plays where Baker was getting drilled on, he was doing a good job extending and then just kind of let the guard down. And I think he got ragdolled worse than any quarterback that I saw this week. Yeah. There were a couple times where he just, no awareness of where that, the clock should be going on at some point in Baker's head. Kyler. Kyler, yeah. But Kyler, not to - That was just, that wasn't a rag. That was just a rag doll. Not to victim blame, but we can get to Kyler a little bit later. But yeah, Baker, you got to have a clock.

32:40Baker had no clock.

32:41PFT Commenter:Yeah. He said after, too. He said, this one falls on me. I think they had 17 points off my turnovers, and it turns out to be a one-score game. And it did feel like they were going to get back in the game, but the Bengals did a good enough job. I mean, I was just impressed. It feels like most Bengals games that we've watched in the last few years have been kind of the same script of like shootout, big play after big play, bad defense, but the Bengals can always answer because they have that big playability. The Bengals say, what did Mike Gusecki end up having? Because it felt like Joe Burrow was under center, taking the things that the defense gave him, like methodical drives.

33:19PFT Commenter:Gusecki had five catches, 78 yards, and a touchdown. And that was, I mean, and I think Drew Sample had a few catches too. So like I count those as the same guy. Three receptions for Drew, yeah. But that's definitely one of those tight end pairings where it's like, that should just be Mike Sample. Yeah, I think that same thing about Knox and Kincaid. Yeah. And Dalton Schultz. The entire Rams tight end. Yeah, all three of those guys. They're all one guy. That actually should be, why don't we do that for fantasy? How can we combine their three names? You should just draft tight ends, tight end, like the entire team's tight ends in fantasy.

33:57PFT Commenter:That would be sick. Like, why don't we do that? Higby and Parkinson. They're identical twins. Right. I'm convinced of it. Yeah, so I count those guys the same. So he was hitting his tight end. He had eight completions to his tight end for almost 100 yards. Yeah, and McPherson was drilling them today. I think he had two field goals over 50 yards. Great week one win for the Bengals. Hank, are you scared of the Bengals? Bengals are good, yeah. Okay. Scared is not like they're formidable opponents. Yeah. They, yeah. But I feel like today was like a weird, like the AFC kind of got its groove back. The Bills are the team.

34:42They looked really good. Josh Allen's in his prime, and they've been there. They're knocked on the door. They are the team that should be the team to beat.

34:53PFT Commenter:Can I give you another team? Sure. Ravens 41, Colts 23. Yeah. Because the Ravens offense. Zay Flowers had 150 yards. He didn't play the entire second half. Yeah. Hit 150 yards. He went out with a hamstring, which actually is a big deal because they think they lost their first and third wide receiver, which is just very Ravens to be like, look how sick our offense is. We have Declan Doyle, a new Jesse Minters here. Things have changed. Oh, yeah, now we are just going to go back to not having any wide receivers. Yeah, it was a great debut for Jesse Minner. Everything looked perfect for the Ravens.

35:27This is exactly what you want to see for a new offensive play caller. Not forgetting about Derrick Henry. Let's get him started. Still has it. Derrick Henry still got it.

35:38PFT Commenter:It's insane. He's 32 years old. Running back should not be this good at 32 years old. He's played 10 years in the NFL as a running back, And like seven of those years have been massive amounts of carries. He is. I think it was his 56th 100-yard game. It was his. I know that he broke an NFL record. It was his 26th 100-yard game with multiple touchdowns. That's the NFL record. Yeah. 26 times he's had at least 100 yards and multiple touchdowns. That's stupid. I mean, he's just. I don't understand how he is. he's just a complete anomaly into what we know about running backs and and how it's like oh you know you got to get them early because they only once they get the miles on them once they get their second contract derrick henry's he's 32 years old yeah so he's got 125 career rushing touchdowns so he passed marcus allen today third all-time and he's behind emmett smith and lt he's i mean he's didn't we have this debate the other day that like he could be i guess though i guess there's other running back but like he's going to be one of the last running backs that's going to go into like hall of fame for running backs is going to get very difficult so yeah yeah i mean you would have to have a like a running back that maybe was sticking around on the dynasty for a while or yeah like a terrell davis where it's like his peak for four years yeah maybe saquon will qualify for that but running backs don't have long enough careers anymore besides henry the running backs that i would think would have a chance um might be christian mccaffrey yeah but again that's like a lot of time here yeah if the lions yeah if they continue on this path then maybe jameer gibbs but derrick henry see he's he's one last incredible yeah also this is another team so that i think there's just a trend now uh and we've talked to a lot of our football guests that know football better than us uh i think or Orlovsky's a big guy.

37:40PFT Commenter:I think Nate Tice said this, stressed this a lot. But quarterback's going under center. Lamar was under center more than he's ever been in his career in this game. 67%. So that's probably a Declan Doyle imprint, you know, being like, this is a new team, we're going to run things differently. And it changes how teams can defend you because you can do a lot of stuff under center. So Joe Burrow and Lamar under center more than usual. Yeah. Is Declan Doyle the coordinator whose name sounds most like a bar owner's? Yeah. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. He's a bouncer. Come on down to Declan Doyle's. Yeah. Yeah.

38:12PFT Commenter:He's got a red nose. Yeah. He wears a scally cap. He's got like the pock marks on his face. Steckland Doyle. He's a fucking great guy. Yeah. Like a flame tattoo coming out of his sleeve. Yeah. He's a great guy. Yeah. Drives a motorcycle. Didn't go to Notre Dame, but bleeds for the Irish. You know that. Yep. All right. There is a bar owner named Declan Doyle who owns Doyle's of College Street in Dublin, Ireland. Are you serious? I mean, there's got to be a shitload of Declan Doyle's in Ireland. Yeah, Declan Doyle.

38:49Doyle's of College Street, which is famously owned and run by Declan Doyle. What time is it in Ireland right now? Max? Don't. Declan Doyle got like two DUIs, but not technically convicted of either. I don't think they do DUIs in our... He just had to volunteer. I'm saying like the generic Declan Doyle. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. He like gave up his keys to the judge and said, hey, just let's... Boys will be boys. I'll stop, but you can have my keys.

39:14PFT Commenter:Yeah. Declan Doyle. 3.45 a.m. Give him a ring. Yeah. Hey, congrats on your first game. It's Declan there. Got Lamar under center. Love that. It's pro-style stuff from the kid. Shout out Declan's in Old Town. One of our favorite bars. But yeah, the Ravens... I don't know who they're going to have be wide receiver if Zay Flower has to miss time. As for the Colts, that's got to be one of the worst losses today. Not because you expected the Ravens are really good. You might lose. But their defense got absolutely gashed. And Danny Dimes looks rusty. I guess we should give him some time. But he did not look great.

39:57PFT Commenter:The final score is a lot closer than this game was. 41-23 is not indicative of to what this game felt like and how quickly. I think the Colts scored first even, and then how quickly the Ravens were in control of this game and dominated this game. If you look at all the nerd stats out there, Daniel Jones ranked towards the bottom of the league this week. He wasn't good. No. No. Yeah, he looked rusty, which I guess he is coming back from. Did he have officially an Achilles? Remember it was like a weird. Yeah, it was an Achilles. I think he had maybe. But they called it something else. He had like a sprained ankle and maybe a fibula.

40:34Oh, and then he did his Achilles. Yeah. So he broke that. Then his season kind of fell off a little bit. And then he popped the Achilles.

40:41PFT Commenter:That's right. He tried to play with the broken leg. Yeah. Yeah. I remember now because we all were like, how do you play with a broken fibula? That sounds very serious. That was one thing today. And I know that this is not stating anything that isn't very obvious. But the violence of the hits in the NFL versus college football is so different. And I think I said out loud during the gambling cave today, I was just like, playing the NFL must hurt so much. Like, so much. It just hurts. Car crash. It's got to just hurt so bad. I mean, playing high school football hurt. Like, you would wake up the next day feeling like you got run over by a truck in high school.

41:20Like, I can't imagine NFL.

41:22PFT Commenter:And, like, it's routine hits. It's routine like, oh, that guy just got slammed to the earth, and now he's up and he's walking around and he's got to play another down. You know what I was thinking about? Forget about the implications of whether or not the fake turf is worse for ligament injuries and all that shit. Do you think it just sucks more to play on the fake turf because in the morning you wake up and you've got burns? Yeah. Like your elbows and your knees? Yeah. You take a shower and you're like, this sucks. That hurts. Definitely. Just picking the little black rubber balls out of your skin and stuff?

41:55PFT Commenter:Yeah. Suck beyond belief. It is kind of crazy that Daniel Jones is playing quarterback right now. Yeah. We do lose sight of that sometimes is you have an Achilles injury, and that used to be like minimum full year. Yeah. That's what I was saying. It was a year and a half. About Kittle? And Kittle, yeah. The fact that Kittle was out there in Australia playing. Let's see. The Jacoby Lane fractured wrist, so Jacoby Lane will be out. That's your wide receiver three. A few weeks, yeah. So I don't know what – it feels like the Ravens are right exactly back to where they started where it's like, hey, Zay Flowers, incredible game.

42:32PFT Commenter:Oh, yeah, now we don't have wide receivers again. Yeah. It just sucks for them. Trey Hendrickson was pretty good today. The pressure rate with him on the field was 59%. Without him on the field, it was 20%. Okay. So the Ravens are probably pretty happy still that they got cold feet on the Max Crosby situation. Yeah, I would say so. And yeah, I think the Colts probably have, if we had to, maybe we'll do it at the end, like who had the worst loss. But I think the Colts are up there. Yeah. Because it was an ass kicking. And because. At home. At home. And it's like, yeah, if you lose this game to the Ravens and you look okay, you can live with it.

43:11PFT Commenter:but it was the third most points they let up in an opener in the Indianapolis era. They allowed 506 yards, which is the most in the era in Indianapolis, and they lost by 18, which was the sixth worst defeat in their home opener. So not good. Bombs over Baghdad. Bombs over Baghdad, not the Outcast song. The war. The war. The innocent lives lost is what we're talking about. Totally different. Okay. We should take a break and we'll go to the rest of the early slate. It is brought to you by our friends at DraftKings. The wait is over. Football is here and so is DraftKings. The DraftKings sports app is now live in all 50 states.

43:53PFT Commenter:That means from Texas to California to Florida, every fan is in on the excitement. And this September, DraftKings is giving customers the opportunity to get boosted every football game day. That's right. Every game day, all month long, DraftKings customers can get a football profit boost. one app every sport all 50 states new draft kings customers sign up with code take spend just five bucks and get 200 in total rewards within 21 days includes all markets that's code take in partnership with draft kings the crown is yours we also are brought to you by our friends at youtube tv with nfl sunday ticket and youtube tv it doesn't matter who's coming over and it doesn't matter what team they love and need to see every play every game changing moment of nfl sunday football action is right here you won't miss anything and you'll be the best host ever it's you and your friends watching four games at once it's every sunday game regardless of where it's being played it's pure nfl bliss as it happens right in your living room every game every sunday all in one place and right now it's just eight payments of thirty dollars a month for new users sign up now new users pay two hundred and forty dollars or eight non-cancelable payments of thirty dollars a month first charge of purchase availability varies with nfl sunday ticket for out-of-market games and youtube tv for local and national games youtube tv required digital only games excluded terms and embargoes apply device and content restrictions apply to multi-view commercial uses uh use excluded no refunds okay boys we've been i have we i i feel like we have not overreacted much.

45:27PFT Commenter:We've been pretty even like Texans not a terrible loss outside the Colts but like Saints good game even keeled long season I might overreact to this one. Bears 59 Panthers 37 because I think you should overreact to it. That was fucking insane. That was insane. I don't know that it's possible to overreact to how good the offense looked. The Bears scored two touchdowns in the first quarter for the first time since 1988. 1988 was the last time they scored two touchdowns in the first quarter. Caleb Williams... That's honestly crazy. That's crazy. That's insane. You would think that there would be a game they'd just luck into two offensive touchdowns in the first quarter.

46:15PFT Commenter:Caleb Williams, in his rookie season in 2024, the Bears, it took until their fourth game of the season for the Bears to reach 59 points. They did it in four quarters today. It was, I mean, everything worked. Everything worked, and it was insane to watch. Like, Caleb Williams, the throw he made to Cole Komet was erotic. The throw he made when he was going across his body and absolutely laser down the field. Kalief Raymond looked awesome as, like, his security blanket. The run game, there was 291 yards rushing. Caleb had 60 yards, two touchdowns. Menungai had 100 yards, a touchdown. And DeAndre Swift, who looked incredible, just got paid 124 yards, three touchdowns.

47:01PFT Commenter:It was awesome to watch. Defense, different story. Offense, though, Ben Johnson said, we're trying to break the record. And so far, obviously small sample size, one game. Good start. On pace to break the record. Good start. On pace to get 4 ,000 yards passing from Caleb. The mustache is a nice addition. My only red flag with that is what took him so long. Mustache is a great look on Caleb. I think he lost in the offseason. He lost 10 to 15 pounds and gained some muscle. Whenever I go to just mustache, it means that I got on the scale and I've lost 10 pounds. Because that is a good move. When you've cleaned up a little, the first thing you want to show off is check out this chin I got.

47:45Yeah, the lower half of the face. If it's swollen, you can't go mustache. Correct. You got to go beard. But when I saw the mustache, I thought to myself, now this is a guy that is going to absolutely light it up for the Bears. If you have a mustache and you play quarterback for the Bears, I can't emphasize enough how strong of a fit that is. He's got the aura. Yes.

48:02PFT Commenter:Yeah. It was just insane to watch. He just looks so calm. Yes, I know. It's the Panthers. So the Panthers, they're not the best team. I'd say that. That's fair. They were in the playoffs last year. I remember they kind of gave the Rams a game in that playoff game. But I'm not going to pretend that the Panthers are the Texans or the Seahawks defensively. There is some people. I did go on a little bit of a retweet spree after the game. There was a guy who's a Panthers fan, the four-man rush. He said before the game, Today is belt day for the Chicago Bears. The entire state of Illinois, the city of Hammond, and Bears FC worldwide is in absolute fear right now.

48:44PFT Commenter:No more hiding behind a fluke 2025 season. That was inflated by a cupcake schedule. You got to see us now, and this beatdown will be brutal. This is your last chance to delete your weak trash talk post before the beatdown at the bank. How many places are called the bank? There's a lot. There's a lot of banks. But it was a belt game. It was a belt game. It was a belt game. It was a belt game. He should have to throw away all of his belts. Yeah. And it was like, other than, I mean, yes, the Luther Burden fumbled to start. I was like, oh, shit, that wasn't great. But just total command. The offense looked great.

49:19PFT Commenter:The fourth and one. I know people were probably pissed about that in the moment. But I think Ben Johnson is just going to do what he wants to do. Like, you can't – you obviously can criticize anything. But I'm of the belief, like, if you're going to buy into the Ben Johnson way of thinking, you just got to be like, do whatever, and I'm going to back you. And I think I'm there with him. The thing is with Ben Johnson, unlike a lot of other coaches, he has a reason for everything that he does. Correct. He said he loved the look. If you were to ask him why he did something, he will have an explanation for you, and you might disagree with the explanation.

49:51It might be dumb at times, but he will have a reason that makes sense in his own brain why he does it, whereas a lot of other coaches kind of do things based on vibes. Right. This is what I think I'm supposed to do. So, yeah, you will live and die with a coach that says, you know, I'll back up what I say. There's a reason why I'm doing everything out here. And the offense was pretty much, you can't ask for a better debut.

50:13PFT Commenter:Yeah, and I am there with Ben Johnson where I will hand over all free will and thought and just give it to him and be like, whatever you say, I will just say. I will just do whatever you do. Whatever you decide, I will say, yes, that was the correct decision. Did you toss him the keys? Yeah, the keys are long gone. Keys are in his hands. I'm hiding in the backseat of his car so that I can be like, hey, please take me home with you. That's where I'm at with Ben Johnson. And guess what? the other crazy thing and i i'm not gonna say that ben johnson did this on purpose because that would be very silly and uh like ridiculous but colson loveland had zero catches he's the best skill player the bears have he had zero catches he led the bears in receiving yards last year he had zero catches he had two targets caleb actually one of his misses today was to colson loveland he threw it behind him i there ben johnson is so crazy he's like i'm gonna score 59 points and We're not going to use Colson Loveland just to let everyone know when we do use him, then it's on.

51:11PFT Commenter:I still got one. I still got one in the chain. I'm holding a card back just in case. The defense does look like it's a problem. Oh, yeah. Big time problem. That's going to be an issue. And we don't know how good the Panthers are. Coker looked awesome. Yeah, no. We made Bryce Young look pretty comfortable. I do like watching Tet. I like watching Coker play. So they've got a couple pieces. But I don't think that their offense, you would call it. You don't expect them to be in the top ten of the league. No, I went into this game being like, if the Panthers have their way with the Bears defense, it could be a really long season for the Bears defense.

51:41PFT Commenter:I just didn't think the offense was going to be this explosive and kill him. Like, just the way he processes now, he looks so comfortable in the offense. And the way he moves in the pocket and keeps plays alive. And I mean, his running, I mean, that I saw that he has like the fastest quarterback runs. I think he's got, I can't remember. I still don't know how they do the miles per hour. in terms of on-field stuff. All right, Giants just scored. Giants look good. Dak is such a bum. He stinks. You're talking about the chip in the shoulder pads? Is that what it is? Is that how they figure it out?

52:16There's a chip somewhere.

52:18PFT Commenter:Fastest runs by QB in 2025-2026 seasons. The top four are all Caleb Williams. He reached 21. He's over 20 miles an hour basically every time he really lets loose. and goes and he did that with that 30 yard rushing touchdown where he was reading the whole field no one was open he's like fuck it i'll just go um yeah i mean the pit the defense can be a problem i the enderman i can i'm never gonna be able to say his name looks good he was kind of all over the field but it was one of those situations where you're always a little nervous when your safety is has to make a bunch of tackles and is in a bunch of plays and you're like why Where's the other dudes?

53:00PFT Commenter:Where's the defensive line? Where's the linebackers? But I can't complain about anything today because that was so much fun to watch. 59 points is so many points. It's so many points. It's so many points. And that was – they weren't really running any plays with like six minutes left. Like they could have gone 60 if they wanted to. But a 50-burger, it's incredible. It's absolutely incredible. and oh I have one other tweet I just wanted to read this from Titletown Talks who's a Packer fan he said Bryce Young is significantly better than Caleb Williams he's taking complete control of the game the difference in their game is night and day I bet the Bears wish they could swap QBs I wonder when this was tweet a 113 so it's probably like first drive second or no it's probably like early second quarter a 113 at 113 central yeah okay yeah so early second quarter Bryce Young is taking complete control of the game.

53:55Yeah, I don't know about that. I actually don't think there was ever a point in that game where that tweet was a point.

54:22PFT Commenter:void in new york non-withdrawable rewards issued as 50 click the claims every seven days for 21 days one single use boost per customer per day expires at the end of the final select game when offered valid for select football transactions on the platform for which it's been issued terms at dkng.co slash offer limited time offer nationwide based on sportsbook predictions and free-to-play sports contest availability varies by state limited time offer appropriate no they i mean bryce jung had a couple nice drives but it wasn't like the bears weren't answering yeah yeah um okay anything else on this game it's fun fun watch i have no idea what the the nfc south sucks that's my my final comment on this went oh and four this weekend for this week oh and four again you you lose this game if you're the panthers and you're still in the driver's seat yeah oh i had one last stat this is just a ben johnson stat this is why i give away my entire body uh i wonder if i could sign that away would that be weird if i was like if i went i know i have a will because i know i went and like did that whole process but what if i changed the will to be like ben johnson gets to decide if i live or die if i'm like yeah you can do that you can assign specific yeah specific play call stone they called him up well no it's just like yeah if he ever gets in a coma like don't ask my wife don't ask my kids ask ben johnson just in in uh fourth and long situations i feel like he'd ruthlessly pull the plug and be like that's just a decision we had to make as a football team commercial uses uh use excluded no refunds okay boys we've been i have we i i feel like we have not overreacted much we've we've been pretty uh caught like even like texans not a terrible loss you know uh outside the colts but like saints good game even keeled long season i might overreact to this one bears 59 panthers 37 because I think you should overreact to it.

56:11PFT Commenter:That was fucking insane. That was insane. I don't know that it's possible to overreact to how good the offense looked. The Bears scored two touchdowns in the first quarter for the first time since 1988. 1988 was the last time they scored two touchdowns in the first quarter. Caleb Williams. That's honestly crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. You would think that there would be a game they'd just luck into two offensive touchdowns in the first quarter. Caleb Williams in his rookie season in 2024, the Bears, it took until their fourth game of the season for the Bears to reach 59 points. They did it in four quarters today.

56:54It was, I mean, everything worked.

56:58PFT Commenter:Everything worked, and it was insane to watch. Like, Caleb Williams, the throw he made to Cole Komet was erotic. The throw he made when he was going across his body an absolute laser down the field. Kalief Raymond looked awesome as his security blanket. The run game, there was 291 yards rushing. Caleb had 60 yards, two touchdowns. Manonga had 100 yards, a touchdown. And DeAndre Swift, who looked incredible, just got paid 124 yards, three touchdowns. It was awesome to watch. Defense, different story. Offense, though, Ben Johnson said, we're trying to break the record. And so far, obviously small sample size, one game.

57:38good start on pace to break the record on pace to get 4 000 yards passing from caleb the mustaches is a nice addition my only red flag with that is like what took him so long well i mustaches is a

57:51PFT Commenter:great look on caleb i think he lost in the offseason he like lost 10 to 15 pounds and like gained some muscle that's like if i ever whenever i go to just mustache it means that i got on the scale and i've lost like 10 pounds because that is a good move when you when you're when you've cleaned up a little the first thing you want to show off is like check out this chin i got yeah the lower half of the face if it's swollen you can't go mustache correct you gotta you gotta go beard but when i saw the mustache i thought to myself this now this is a guy that is going to absolutely light it up for the bears that if you have a mustache and you play quarterback for the bears i can't emphasize enough how strong of a fit that he's got the aura yes yeah it was just uh it was insane to watch he was he just looks so calm yes i know it's the panthers so the panthers uh they're not they're not the best team uh i'd say that that's fair they did they were in the playoffs last year i remember they kind of they they gave the rams a game in that playoff game but i'm not going to pretend that the panthers are the texans or the seahawks defensively um there is there is some people i did go on a little bit of a retweet spree after the game there was a a guy who's a panthers fan the four-man rush he said before the game today is belt day for the Chicago Bears the entire state of Illinois the city of Hammond and Bears FC worldwide is it is in absolute fear right now no more hiding behind a fluke 2020 25 season that was inflated by a cupcake schedule you got to see us now and this beatdown will be brutal this is your last chance to delete your weak trash talk post before the beatdown at the bank how many places are called the bank there's a lot there's a lot of banks but it was it was a belt game it was a belt game It was a belt game.

59:29It was a belt game. He should have to throw away all of his belts.

59:32PFT Commenter:Yeah. And it was like, other than, I mean, yes, the Luther Burden fumbled to start. I was like, oh, shit, that wasn't great. But just total command. The offense looked great. The fourth and one, I know people were probably pissed about that. It was a weird call. But I think Ben Johnson is just going to do what he wants to do. Like, you can't, you obviously can criticize anything. But I'm of the belief, like, if you're going to buy into the Ben Johnson way of thinking, you just got to be like, do whatever. And I'm going to back you. And I think I'm there with him. The thing is, with Ben Johnson, unlike a lot of other coaches, he has a reason for everything that he does.

1:00:10Correct. He loves to look. If you were to ask him why he did something, he will have an explanation for you. And you might disagree with the explanation. It might be dumb at times, but he will have a reason that makes sense in his own brain. Why does it? Whereas a lot of other coaches kind of do things based on vibes. Right. This is what I think I'm supposed to do. so you yeah you you will live and die with a coach that says you know i'll back up what i say there's a there's a reason why i'm doing everything out here and uh the offense was pretty much you

1:00:37PFT Commenter:can't ask for a better debut yeah and i'm i i am there with ben johnson where like i will i will hand over all free will and thought and just give it to him and be like whatever you say i will just say i will just do whatever you do whatever you decide i will say yes that was the correct decision Did you toss him the keys? Yeah, the keys are long gone. Keys are in his hands. I'm hiding in the backseat of his car so that I can be like, hey, please take me home with you. That's where I'm at with Ben Johnson. And guess what? The other crazy thing, and I'm not going to say that Ben Johnson did this on purpose because that would be very silly and ridiculous, but Colson Loveland had zero catches.

1:01:17PFT Commenter:He's the best skill player the Bears have. He had zero catches. He led the Bears in receiving yards last year. He had zero catches. He had two targets. Caleb actually, one of his misses today was to Colson Loveland. He threw it behind him. Ben Johnson is so crazy. He's like, I'm going to score 59 points and we're not going to use Colson Loveland. Just to let everyone know when we do use him, then it's on. I still got one. I still got one in the chain. I'm holding a card back just in case. The defense does look like it's a problem. Oh, yeah. Big time problem. That's going to be an issue. And we don't know how good the Panthers are.

1:01:46Coker looked awesome. Yeah, no. We made Bryce Young look pretty comfortable. I do like watching Tet. I like watching Coker play. So they've got a couple pieces, but I don't think that their offense, you would call it – you don't expect them to be in the top ten of the league.

1:02:01PFT Commenter:No, I went into this game being like, if the Panthers have their way with the Bears defense, it could be a really long season for the Bears defense. I just didn't think the offense was going to be this explosive and kill him. Like, just the way he processes now, he looks so comfortable in the offense. And the way he moves in the pocket and keeps plays alive, and I mean his running I mean that I saw that he has like the fastest quarterback runs I think he's got I can't remember I still don't know how they do the miles per hour I'm like in terms of on field stuff our Giants just scored Giants look good Dak is such a bum.

1:02:35PFT Commenter:He stinks. You're talking about the chip in the shoulder pads? Is that what it is? Is that how they figure it out? There's a chip somewhere. Fastest runs by QB in 2025-2026 seasons. The top four are all Caleb Williams. He reached over 20 miles an hour basically every time he really lets loose and goes. And he did that with that 30-yard rushing touchdown where he was reading the whole field. No one was open. and he's like, fuck it, I'll just go.

1:03:07PFT Commenter:Yeah, I mean, the defense can be a problem. The Enderman, I'm never going to be able to say his name. Looks good. He was kind of all over the field, but it was one of those situations where you're always a little nervous when your safety has to make a bunch of tackles and is in a bunch of plays, and you're like, where are the other dudes? Where's the defensive line? Where's the linebackers? But I can't complain about anything today because that was so much fun to watch. 59 points is so many points. It's so many points. It's so many points. And that was – they weren't really running any plays with like six minutes left.

1:03:44PFT Commenter:Like they could have gone 60 if they wanted to. But a 50-burger, it's incredible. It's absolutely incredible. And, oh, I have one other tweet I just wanted to read. This is from Titletown Talks. Who's a Packer fan? He said, Bryce Young is significantly better than Caleb Williams. He's taking complete control of the game. The difference in their game is night and day. I bet the Bears wish they could swap QBs. I wonder when this was tweeted. Oh, 113. So it's probably like early second quarter. Oh, 113. Yeah, 113 Central. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, so early second quarter. Bryce Young is taking complete control of the game.

1:04:21Yeah, I don't know about that. I actually don't think there was ever a point in that game where that tweet was appropriate.

1:04:26PFT Commenter:No. I mean, Bryce Young had a couple nice drives, but it wasn't like the Bears weren't answering. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, anything else on this game? It's fun. Fun watch. I have no idea what the... The NFC South sucks. That's my final comment on this. Went 0-4 this weekend. 0-4 this week. 0-4. Again, you lose this game if you're the Panthers, and you're still in the driver's seat. Yeah. Oh, I had one last stat. This is just a Ben Johnson stat. This is why I give away my entire body. I wonder if I could sign that away. Would that be weird if I was like... If I went... I know I have a will, because I know I went and did that whole process, but what if I changed the will to be like, Ben Johnson gets to decide if I live or die, if I'm incapacitated.

1:05:07PFT Commenter:Yeah, you can do that. You can assign specific play call stone. They called him up. Well, no, it's just like, yeah, if he ever gets in a coma, don't ask my wife. Don't ask my kids. Ask Ben Johnson. In fourth and long situations. I feel like he'd ruthlessly pull the plug and be like, that's just a decision we had to make as a football team. the games with 250 yards rushing since the start of 2025, the 31 teams not named the Chicago Bears have four. The Bears have three. So they have three games with 250-plus yards rushing. That's like the – you think like offensive guru is going to – he still wants to be a physical team that establishes the run and demolishes you.

1:05:51PFT Commenter:And the combo of DeAndre Swift and Kyle Mononga, where Swift was so effective, and then you see Manungai come when the defense is completely gassed. Manungai comes in. He's just an absolute hammer and impossible to bring down. It's a hell of a combo. So run the ball, be physical, score a lot of points. Yeah, I would say that this is one of, if not the best, win of the week. Yeah. Just got to get that defense maybe to the 20th best defense. I'd be cool with that. It's going to be a problem. We're going to be in shootouts pretty much every week. We hit it over twice in this game. This is a perfectly average loss.

1:06:25PFT Commenter:for the canada panthers yeah although their defense got yeah i mean that was a lot of yards it was a tight it wasn't it wasn't good really a lot of yards okay next up uh this is basically the exact opposite game steelers 20 falcons 13 where offense was pretty tough to come by for both teams uh different for different reasons cooper rush was the quarterback for the falcons that would be the explanation didn't play that bad though didn't play that bad but you know he It wasn't like... Bijan had 65 % of their total yards. He had 173 yards himself. Cooper Rush certainly didn't play well. No, he did not play well.

1:07:08PFT Commenter:I don't know. On the sliding scale of how well you think Cooper Rush is going to play... It was pretty bad. The guy got like... It was. Max, if you're talking... He had a 52 quarterback rating. It's Cooper Rush. Compared to every starting quarterback in the league, but that's not. He's a third-string quarterback. Third-string quarterback, barely got any rap. They missed two field goals and had a pick six. Obviously, I had them in the Hunger Dogs, so I was locked in on this game. I'm sorry that you were locked in on this game. I'll tell you what. They were in this game, and the pick six was bad.

1:07:45TJ Watt made an incredible play. Their field goal kicker missed two makeable field goals. It was a winnable game. Nick Folk, who actually looks like he's 100 years old. He's older than me at PFT. He's 41 years old. Get him out of the league. He turns 42 in November. Get him out of the league.

1:08:02PFT Commenter:I know that he actually statistically was not a... His helmet is atrocious. He was not a bad kicker the last few years. There has to be someone younger than 42 years old who can kick a football. There's not. When he misses a field goal and they cut to him with his stupid helmet that looks like he was playing in 1960, I wanted to puke. And this is coming from a guy in Henry Lockwood who he can kick a field goal when his foot isn't dead. Yeah. But you know what? I think that there's room in the league for kickers that look like absolute fat dorks. I'm sick of seeing jacked up kickers. They got the big biceps and they got cool helmets and tattoos and shit.

1:08:39I kind of like seeing a kicker that just looks like a fat, pudgy, white dork. They make kicks, yeah. Yeah. That's – now Nick Folk did stink today. Oh, he's stunk. But I just want to rewind for a second. One thing I'm not going to allow this podcast to become is a Cooper Rush bashing podcast. I'm not. Okay. No, Max is. He was good. Nick Folk was good last year. That's what I'm saying.

1:09:03PFT Commenter:He is good enough to still be in the league, but you just cannot tell me that a guy who's going to be, who's older than us is the best option. I just don't understand it. Again, he was. He was good enough last year. He was pretty damn good. He was 28 for 29 last year, 21 for 22 the year before. I guess that's the answer. 29 for 30 the year before that. He missed three field goals the last three years. He missed two today. That hurt. What's Youngway Koo doing? Am I reading this right? Probably not. No. No, I am. What are you trying to read? Numbers? No. Numbers are hard. No. That one's an eight.

1:09:45I'm right. I'm right. Fuck off. Usually when you see eight, you think it's something different, but this means a number. Yeah, he was seven for eight from 50. I don't fucking know. All right, you want to stat? I was right. I was right. I was right.

1:09:58PFT Commenter:Do you guys want a stat that I don't understand whatsoever, but it's one of those ones. You ever see someone tweet something, and you don't know what they're quantifying or how they're explaining this, but it just looks really bad. And you're like, oh, that's bad. So there's a database, Summer Sports Dataset, that has 1 ,097 games calculated on total EPA for the game. So like what they're expected. What is it? Expected point average? What is EPA? Let's figure that out first. Max, help us out. What does it mean? Environmental Protection Agency. Yep, that's exactly right. Okay. EPA just means good stuff.

1:10:45PFT Commenter:Expected points added. Yes. It's basically how to quantify how your offense is moving. Even, like, instead of just points, it's like, hey, how are you moving down to down? So out of the 1 ,097 games, this was the 1 ,069th worst game in terms of EPA. For both teams. Yes. Combined. So it was an ass. So maybe Cooper Rush didn't play that well. This game was giant ass, in other words. Yes. The Steelers' offense does not look much different from what we've seen the last, I don't know, 10 years. I will say, if DK Metcalf could catch a ball, it might have looked a little different. Or also not push off.

1:11:24They did throw a few passes and a few routes that I've not seen out of the Steelers' wide receivers. And he should have caught a couple. There were a couple that he probably should have grabbed, too busy thinking about ice shelves. But it was a slightly different tweak to the same formula that we've seen from the Steelers. and yeah if they don't have Nick Fulk missing those kicks it might end up differently you have to beat Cooper Rush worse than this now that being said do we think that Cooper Rush actually played

1:11:48PFT Commenter:worse than Tua would have uh no actually I think he probably played better yeah because the Steelers I mean in very Steelers fashion they're they're very consistently the same team every year and it was like oh yeah TJ Watson absolute demon two sacks uh the pick six the end of the game Cam Hayward felt like he swatted like eight balls down. Alex Highsmith had two sacks. Their defense is still really, really good. It's just their offense is what we expect, and it's not great stuff. One thing that you missed about TJ that I picked up on, because I sit next to Jersey Jerry for these games, TJ's got a new muscle this year.

1:12:28Yeah. Did you see that? Yeah, he said, yeah. In his arms. Yeah. He worked out extra hard and I guess unlocked a new muscle in his forearm. Yeah, his forearm. Yeah, his forearm. So it's like completely different player. New weapon. That's so sick. Which is pretty incredible for a guy that's been, that's had such a great career. But yeah, new muscle. New muscle.

1:12:47PFT Commenter:The Steelers, by the way, are so, which I know that we just talked about the bears and it had been since 1988. They scored two, two touchdowns in the first quarter. The Steelers have now gone 68 straight regular season games without scoring more than seven first quarter points. That's it. So that's even a touchdown in a field goal. Yeah. 68 regular season games. It's a lot. They're the same team. Good for McCarthy, though. Good for McCarthy winning his first game as Steelers coach. Does he look skinnier or is he just wearing black? He's wearing black and he's paler. He's been out of the sun. Okay.

1:13:21PFT Commenter:I thought he looked skinny. I thought you were joking. Oh, no. He looks slim, dude. He looks really good. You didn't think he looked slim? No. I thought he looked good. I disagree. I thought he looked. I thought it was like a ha-ha. No. He looks borderline strong. He looks skinny. Look how fat he is. No, I think he, maybe, again, maybe it's just the fact that he's wearing black now, but he looks, yeah, look. I think it's Hank. Look at his face. He looks skinny, dude. Yeah, look at that. He looks good. He should do the Cale Booms. He should probably shave his beard and let us all see his jaw.

1:13:57PFT Commenter:That's a skinny guy. I also know what you're saying, Hank. During the games, the cameras didn't zoom in. Because in Dallas, they would zoom in. They would fit his face to touch every side of the screen. It was just like the screen would be nothing but Mike McCarthy's face and jowls. Yeah. The cameraman maintained a respectful distance today, I think. I think he looks pretty damn skinny. He does look good. Also, after the game, Aaron Rodgers gave Mike McCarthy a game ball, which I didn't know that. Did he eat it? I guess Aaron Rodgers is just like in charge of he's the coach of the team. I guess he's been there longer than Mike McCarthy.

1:14:30He's like, good job, Mike.

1:14:32PFT Commenter:Welcome aboard to my team. Was that the whole problem with Rodgers and Tomlin? He's like, I can't give game balls because Tomlin's been here longer than me? That might have been it. Yeah, I might have butted heads. We should say Darnell Washington put a man through the earth. That was one of the most violent stiff arms ever. He is so scary of a human being when he catches the ball and has even a little, like, five yards of space where he can get a little bit of speed going, it's crazy. And the thing is, I think he looks smaller. Yeah. I think Darnell Washington looks a little bit smaller than he did last year.

1:15:12Maybe by the end of the season he'll get back up there, but he looks faster. Yeah. He's just the biggest guy in the NFL.

1:15:19PFT Commenter:That was such a violent. That guy's got to quit. He's got to quit. You can't go back on a football field after that and be like, hey, guys, I'm ready to play. That guy needs to call in sick for Monday when they watch the film. He needs to pull a Shane and call in sick after the Chargers lost to the Cardinals. Oh, yeah, that's right. Shane did that. You should be allowed to use a lasso to tackle him. I think that's fair. Because you can't bring him down man to man. Yeah, I don't even actually. I think he's so big, I don't even think you could hip drop him. No. You just hop on the backpack. He's like CT when he backpacked.

1:15:57PFT Commenter:Johnny Bananas. Yeah. He kind of looks like that when he's running down the field. It's crazy to watch. All right, so do we think the Steelers are any different than they've ever been? I think a little bit different. In what way? Aaron Rodgers doing podcasts. Mike McCarthy's skinny. Yeah, he's skinny. Aaron Rodgers doing podcasts before games, which I like. Yep. He's got his own platform. Yep. Or I guess not his own, but his teammates' platform. He finally can say what he's thinking. That's actually an underrated good teammate move on Aaron Rodgers going on your teammates' podcast. Yeah. Instead of a national platform.

1:16:29So get your buddy some views.

1:16:31PFT Commenter:We need to get him on Big Ben's. Oh, Brandon Aubrey just missed an extra point. Brandon Aubrey just missed an extra point. Go for two. You go for two there. That's the math. That is the math. Now they have to go for two.

1:16:48PFT Commenter:I also, I bet the Cowboys over 20 and a half. That stinks. I just realized that. Yikes. That stinks. That absolutely stinks. That still hit the over, though. Hank, whose line is it anyway? You're playing the Steelers next weekend. I know. How? Jerry? Yeah. Yeah. I know, too. Is it? Where's the game? In New England. That's going to be the Patriots minus three and a half. Five and a half. Oh. Jerry said it was wildly disrespectful. I kind of agree. I don't. the Steelers are the same team they've always been, which doesn't mean they can't be a decent team because their defense, again, is very good.

1:17:36PFT Commenter:And the Patriots are desperate now. That's true. They almost lost to Cooper Rush. Right. But five and a half. I'm still down and just not feeling great after last week, so it seems crazy to be such heavy favorites. It was banner night. Yeah, but it was. Hostile environment. 12. Spencer Hawes. Yeah, I think the desperation factor definitely plays in here where the Patriots need to win this game. So I would think. I don't know. I didn't see anything from the Steelers. I was like, wow, that team is really different than what we've always seen from the Steelers. The more I think about it, I think.

1:18:16Their team is just TJ Watt. It's hard to say because it's the Falcons.

1:18:20PFT Commenter:But shouldn't they have beaten the Falcons way? But they never beat teams. They never win games that they're supposed to win handily. Yeah, when was the last time the Steelers won a game like 37-3 or 37-7? Let's see. I can't remember one off the top of my head. I think they beat down the Bengals after they lost to the Bengals. They beat the Patriots last year. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they beat the Bengals 34-12 last year with Mason Rudolph. Huh Mason Rudolph QB1 Yeah you're right They don't normally Even with Cooper Rush playing And Bajon I feel bad for Bajon I guess that would be the one takeaway if you're the Falcons Like you did stay in this game And if Michael Penix can come back Maybe it looks a little different And everyone in the NFC South did lose today Yeah that's the thing That's a good thing Everybody had the same loss above replacement this week.

1:19:24PFT Commenter:Yes. Yes. Okay. Next game. Memes. You ready? Jets 23. Titans 10. Absolute beat down by the Jets. Memes. Fellas. What a stress-free day of watching football. This guy. The Jets go into Nashville and play a lifeless, that's what the reporters were saying after the game, A lifeless Titans team. It was fun. You beat the shit out of them. Beat the shit out of them. Scored one touchdown and the game was over. The Titans had the longest play from scrimmage was 14 yards. They can't do anything. They're the exact same team as last year. Not to overreact, but they looked just awful. They're not just the same team.

1:20:10They did the hypothetical if you combine the Jets and Giants, which they did. Yeah. You would just end up losing to the Jets. They would just still be the same. Yeah. Yeah. They did change one. The uniforms look better.

1:20:21PFT Commenter:If you could buy the Jets and Giants, you just lose to the Jets. But you know what I mean about the uniforms not looking real yet? Yeah, not yet. But, I mean, they did look better. It was an easier screen to look at is what I'm saying. It was pleasing to the eye to see that baby blue. But, Memes, this was just an absolute shit pumping that you gave him. Gino looked great. Gino, 3 ,612 days, I believe, since his previous start with the New York Jets. Yeah. He's back. The rushing attack looked really good. Oh, Brees Hall looked awesome. Brees Hall, Braylon. And then it was just... I want Cam Ward to be better than he is because he seems like he's...

1:21:05I like his quotes. He seems like he's locked in. He's a good story. I don't know if he's going to be the guy or not. I want him to be, but every week I feel like I get further and further from thinking that he is.

1:21:17PFT Commenter:Yeah. It does not look any different. It looks actually almost weirdly worse because the Jets dominated him that bad. Memes, that was the most you have the Jets have outgained an opponent in a week one game since?

1:21:372016?

1:21:39PFT Commenter:2014. Oh, close. With Geno. so now you guys are back yeah that could be one of those things that if he never got punched in the face he probably still could be the quarterback i think you also won like week one that year and then lost like seven in a row yeah that sounds that sounds right too yeah but yeah that you and you had also all your rookie like sadique scored a touchdown uh cooper had a nice nice play david bailey had a sack it's like everything's coming up jets memes you're a winner yeah omar omar Cooper's first catch and run, I thought he was going to turn into the greatest receiver ever.

1:22:15Unfortunately, he did get hurt. The offensive line looked pretty good, too. Offensive line, they just gave him all day to throw. Gino said, I don't think I got touched once all day. That's pretty good. Yeah, no, Gino was slinging it. Guys were just wide open. And credit to Aaron Glenn, they just stuck to the game plan. So right now, the Giants are winning. They're up 28-20. three minutes, 40 seconds left in the fourth. Yep. With the Jets winning, if this score holds, I believe the last time both teams won in week one was 2009.

1:22:50PFT Commenter:Damn. That's a long time. Yeah. That's a long-ass time. That is a long-ass time. I remember 22 that they won on the same week a lot. But not week, yeah. I don't know about week one. Yeah, yeah. But memes, between this and the Knicks, congratulations. He's got just a different... Just completely... Hank's sitting on that couch right now because he's a cuck. And New York is just... Do you feel it coming off memes? He's a different guy. I'm happy for him. Me too. He's a cheery guy. He's a different guy. You're not happy for him. He congratulated everybody. He walked back to the desk. He was like, congrats, Max.

1:23:29Congrats, Colton. No, I didn't say congrats. Max wasn't sitting back there. I said congrats to Colton. colton's out and he was just yeah he was the cardinals i have a question that was an upset win the jets were supposed to win that game i had to i bet i the jets and giants were in the hungry dog like i was i was pro new york this weekend cooper rush fucked you yeah but i don't

1:23:46PFT Commenter:know the fucking nick folk yeah 42 year old kicker um are the titans cooper rush played good are the titans the most depressed cooper rush did not play good he played fine for cooper rush are the titans the most depressed fan base right now currently yeah because like yeah without a doubt and i know the browns obviously are always in the conversation no no no but hear me out hear me out and we'll get to the browns game i don't i'm not saying that browns fans don't want to win i do think they want to win but i think because of the history of the browns their depression is almost like a personality trait that it's not like how did we get here they're almost like this is where we've always been loser city yeah right well no they're not loser city but yeah they're depressed because their football team but it's like you know a lot of artists have huge amounts of depression struggle and they still go out there and make like great music right for example um but that that's kind of the browns fan base also the browns fan base they're more angry and pissed off they're like they're feeling something right i think the titans their fan base might be so depressed that they're just kind of like they're stuck in that they're just numb and they're like well this sucks i don't feel anything and they're almost they're uh their owners almost like a like an absentee parent who's like trying to buy buy them away with new gifts and shit like hey here are some new uniforms oh new stadium oh new new coach we got uh jets and giants coaches for you yeah this is gonna be fun and it's like no we still suck we just want you to be here and be present uh the the the crowd like cleared out of this game and it was there was a fire sala chant that was audible this is his first game it's a tight there was a guy who yelled back bring wizen hunt and you could hear it on the broadcast that is some like that is the most rock bottom thing you could ever say bring back wizen hunt we miss it we miss mike malarkey come on guys i'm laughing but i'm not like i i feel for titan titans that's so what do you think about cam ward because i he was a great college quarterback his last year he's a lot of fun to watch i haven't really seen no like the best plays that he's made in the nfl have been plays that are like oh shit please don't do that oh my god i can't believe that worked yeah i i think it's Cam Ward could be a good quarterback, he's in a terrible situation.

1:26:21PFT Commenter:So it's not like – I just always wonder about that. Situation obviously matters. Coaching matters. Yeah. I mean, look at Caleb year one to year two. The coaching matters. So maybe he'll get better this year, but I have not seen it. They did have one wild-ass play call today where they faked an in-around that ran behind Cam Ward, and he tossed the ball up in the air. Yeah. Like he was pitching it to them, but he was just tossing it up to himself. And then I forget what happened after. I think he just kind of ran forward, maybe took a sack on it. But for the first half of that play, I was like, oh, shit, the Titans are up to something.

1:26:58This offense could be fun, and then it just wasn't fun. No. It was no fun. Yeah, Omar Cooper looked good. Kenyon Sadiq looked awesome. You've got to be happy about everything. Yeah, I'm fired up. Gino's slinging it. Where do we stand about Titans fan Ballin FB, who said, if the Titans lose, I will walk from MetLife to Nissan Stadium. And then after the game, he said, all you people in my mentions, I'm not walking.

1:27:23PFT Commenter:Yeah. I would say that Ballin FFB, you're cursing the Titans, but I don't really know what could get worse. You know what I'm saying? I'm trying to think. Like, oh, no, you're not following through. you're gonna you're gonna make the titans bad stadium funding gets pulled i think they already built it yeah the inspector the inspector does the walkthrough and he's like you can't play football here oh shit there's a there's an active volcano underneath this football it's found a crack and there's some there's mold yeah yeah like that's how sad that is that's actually balling f FB is he he is a perfect embodiment of the Titans current state in the fact that he's making a claim not following through.

1:28:15PFT Commenter:And I can't even be like, how could you do that, dude? It's like, whatever. His punishment is bad enough. He has to watch the Titans. You know what I mean? Yeah. Normally, when these things happen, like the BYU guy who had to stick a burrito up his ass, like, dude, we're going to see you stick this burrito up your ass. We're not going to stop bothering you till you put this burrito up your ass. Did he do it? Yeah, he did. Hell yeah. This guy, I don't really care. Don't walk. Who cares, dude? It's the Titans. Who cares? Memes, this stat, is this true that this was the Jets' first opening drive touchdown that they scored since 2016?

1:28:53That's sick. That is true. You guys are so back. I can't even begin. Words are not covering how back you are. We are so back.

1:29:03PFT Commenter:what is going through your head right now? That the Jets are a year ahead of schedule. Oh, I love that. If that makes sense. There's nothing better than being a little bit ahead of schedule. Because they're not supposed to be good. They're plus, what, 30 ,000 to win the Super Bowl. So, like, bottom four team is expectation. But, like, today was one of those it separates you from the dog shit. If that makes sense. Yep. That does make sense. Let me finish my thought and then I'll call on you. Thank you. But, like, nah, now I lost my thought. I'm sorry. PFT, question. Yeah, PFT commenter, part of my take, podcast, Barstool Sports.

1:29:38Are the Jets too good? Too good? No, no. Because there were still a ton of mistakes. Did you see the kick today from the kicker? I saw the kick from the kicker, yeah. It was, like, the worst kick in NFL history. That was a really bad kick. Actually, let's go to our kicking expert, Hank. Hank, how bad was that kick? I didn't see it, but I'll take PFT's word for it. He's a kick guy. It was garbage. It was just dead hook to the left. But then he figured out how to correct his left kick. Yeah, that happens. That happens. That happens. But then he figured it out. Yeah, which also happens. But you didn't figure yours out.

1:30:12I did. Then I got dead foot. Do you think that the Jets kicker is going to accidentally drive into his garage door tonight? I don't think so. I don't think so. But do you know what I'm saying? Do you think the Jets might be too good for right now? No, because they still had that bad clock management at the end of the half. They just have some stuff to clean up, some obvious stuff to clean up. Are you worried that they might win too many games is what I'm asking? No, we have so many picks. That's the head of schedule. We have the Colts pick. We have the Cowboys pick. So, yeah, you've got teams to actively root against.

1:30:43Yeah, this is a great year because you could ruin your draft stock while also hate watching other teams hoping they get you a high pick.

1:30:53PFT Commenter:Who do you have next? Packers. Dude, what if you beat the Packers? That'd be so sick. No, Mika. That'd be so sick. Do it. Do it. I dare you to do it. So this was the separation game, and then next week's a see where you're actually at. This is separation from the bottom. From the bottom. Yeah. And now let's see what kind of football team you are. Okay. So if you win next week, you're now officially a good team. Actual football team. That's a good team. Good team. Good team. Moving on up. Yeah. Where do you think you'd be? Where should we list the Jets in the power rankings? Not bad. But, like, if we're doing numbers.

1:31:33Ooh. 17. Wow, that's good. Yeah, that sounds right. What about? I am looking forward to just seeing the Jets' name above the other teams that are 0-1.

1:31:46PFT Commenter:Yeah, yeah. Patriots, Rams, you know. Well, you think they'll be above them in the power rankings? 1-0. You're talking about standings. I don't think you're talking about power rankings. No, no. You have to. Power. Yeah. That's not how you do power rankings? That's actually a good question. How many 0-1 teams will the Jets at 1-0 be behind in the power rankings? No, you have to be ahead of all of them because you're 1-0. I don't know if that's how it works when you play the Titans. Yeah. You play who you play. That's very true. I agree. I agree with that. You're ahead of the Browns. Definitely.

1:32:20PFT Commenter:Head of the Titans. Head of the Colts. and put you ahead of the Chargers. That's the one I'm interested to see. What? I think it should go by record. Okay. Well, they already do have a system that sorts it by record. Yeah, then that's just standing. That's like I said, you said standing. You don't want power rankings. You want standings. Yeah, you want standings. With standings, I can show you standings. I'll screenshot it and send you standings. But the standing should have some influence into the power rankings. I think they do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But, like, the Colts last year, like, were they ever number one in the power rankings when I think they had the best record in the NFL?

1:33:02PFT Commenter:I think so. I don't think so. At a certain time, they were high. I don't think they were. I don't think they were number one in the power rankings. So, like, tomorrow, power rankings should be 1 through 16 of 1 and 0. No. So you want me to change how I do power rankings? For week one. Okay. Power rankings have gone one way forever. Memes is entitled to make his own power rank. Yeah, no. I always say when people get upset about my power rank, they say, make your own. So why don't you make your own? And just have it be strictly by win-loss. Yeah, you have it be the standings. But week one, you guys aren't.

1:33:35So like week one, everybody's 1-0. And then there's other teams that don't have any wins. So they're 16 through 32. Right. No, we understand that concept. You're making this. This is... Memes, just do your power rankings based on the facts of what the records are and then point differential to separate the teams that have identical records. Yeah, look. And that's your power ranking.

1:33:58PFT Commenter:Memes, you are right now, I'm looking at it, you're one, two, three, four, five, six, seventh in the power rankings. If you just go sort by record and then point differential. There you go. There you go. Top ten. Great. Top ten. Hank, are you concerned about the Jets? No. The Jets are ahead of you in all the power rankings right now. Why not? Because they're the Jets. Okay, well, that... Never mind. Never mind, Hank. But if I were you, I would be a little bit concerned that they're building something. The future might not be totally dead. Yeah, they're ahead of schedule of not being a bottom four team.

1:34:40Congrats. I found a website that did power rankings already. Already? Okay. And the Jets are? They got the Jets at 28. That's bullshit. It's up two spots. Wow. Huge. That's a climber. You need to be up at least 12.

1:34:57Do you guys want to play Whose Line Is That Anyway for Jets Packers? Yeah. Yeah. Where is it? Jets. It's in New York. I looked it up. Jets minus six. I think it's. After everything I just heard. I think it's Packers plus three. I'm sorry, Packers minus three.

1:35:13PFT Commenter:I'm going to say Packers minus four and a half. Bang. Four and a half. Nice. I thought it would be a little – I think that's a respectable line for the Jets. I thought it would have been higher. Yeah. I think the biggest thing, the Jets are going to be in that game. Well, but – Four and a half, yeah. The spread is a power ranking of sorts. Yes. The Packers are 0-1. The Jets are 1-0. The Packers are favored by 4.5. You're just going to confuse them. I see what you're saying. I see where you're coming from. Vegas doesn't respect the power rankings. Yeah, that's true. That's facts. Yep, true. Okay, last game of the early slate.

1:35:56PFT Commenter:Jaguars 34, Browns 10. Jaguars good, Browns bad. That's about it. Deshaun Watson really bad. well the score is hold on better than it was yeah hold on crazy to say because it was 34 10 is deshaun watson mr fourth quarter he was seven for seven 126 yards the score was 34 to three yep it was the the absolute definition of junk uh of garbage time in quarters one through three he was nine for 15 for 79 yards yeah um the browns had bad the browns had it's gonna be tough to beat this one all season maybe the saddest field goal that we'll see all year uh they were down 31 i believe in the third quarter uh kicked a field goal to cut a four score game to a different four scores uh and then right after that immediately lost it back and uh went down i believe 34 to 3 yeah todd monke and i understand why he did it he's a first year head coach you don't want to get shut out in your first game as a first year head coach yes i'd agree but also well you forgot about mr fourth quarter forgot about mr fourth quarter but also uh extremely sad kick to have todd bunkinson his team out there to try and uh and after the game all the he's very quickly learning uh what it's like to be a head coach for the cleveland browns because every question was just what are you gonna do about the quarterback yeah he's like i don't know man everyone sucks He said, I'm sure as hell not firing me when he was asked about Sean Watson.

1:37:33PFT Commenter:So he's already getting defensive and being like, hey, I'm not firing me, guys. I'm sure as hell not firing me. I'm not firing our staff. I'm not getting rid of all of our players. He happens to be one of 53, so we'll evaluate everything. We just didn't play good enough, didn't coach well enough. Also, Todd Munkin, I'm not saying that I don't believe him because he seems like a nice guy. Did you see that he did a Dan Hurley in the postgame? He drank his own piss? No, a different Dan Hurley. Headbutted? He said, we're not where we want to be, and they better get us now. I don't know, dude. Famously, Dan Hurley calling his shot when he was like, get us now because we're coming.

1:38:16PFT Commenter:We're going to be a lot better. And then he called the shot and won national titles. Todd Munkin is kind of trying to do the same thing. like, hey, you can beat us now, but watch out for the Browns later. I hope you get your kicks in. Yeah. Have fun beating us this year, and everyone's going to be like, yeah, okay, yeah, sure. Sure, dude. That sounds actually awesome. I think we will do that. Yeah. The Jags have won, I believe it's seven in a row. In regular season, yeah. In the regular season, so nine. Well, no, so they lost to the Bills, right, the playoffs? So, yeah, I guess it would be seven in a row.

1:38:46PFT Commenter:In regular season. In regular season. Their offense looked awesome. Yeah, Trevor Lawrence was never, like, pressured. He threw the ball to, I think, ten different targets. Nine different guys caught a pass. He looked super comfortable. They picked up basically right where they left off, and it was – they dominated. They absolutely – they killed – they dominated the Browns. This was never a game. The Browns – Deshaun Watson – and we were wrong. Like, obviously, it's a long season, but the defense didn't look much better than, like, we thought the defense was going to be keeping them in games. Didn't happen today.

1:39:24PFT Commenter:Not at all. Did not happen. That's why I give a lot of credit to the Jags offense, because I do think that the Browns defense, they're not this bad. Right. I think they'll show that they're going to be one of the stronger units in the league. But today, it was just a master class from Liam Cohen and Trevor Lawrence. Yeah. Yeah. It was dominant. Yeah, it was dominant. And they even had Josh Hines Allen was said after the game that he was shocked the Browns took the ball. He said when the Browns wanted to receive, I was like, oh, okay. Then we got an interception five plays it later. It's like, yeah, that's exactly how the game went.

1:40:03PFT Commenter:I mean, Deshaun Watson threw a perfect pass to the linebacker. It was game over. It was game over right then and there. And there's something about getting your ass kicked in Jacksonville in September when it's a million degrees. It just looks extra bad. The sun is so bright, you know? You, like, really look like a bad team when that happens. People are in the pool laughing at you. Yeah, yeah. There were some people that were wearing Browns jerseys and Jaguars hats. I figured they just must be either very confused. I thought that was... So, it was someone wearing a Shador jersey and a Jaguar hat.

1:40:38PFT Commenter:I just assumed they're a huge Colorado football fan. Yeah, that makes sense. Maybe a member of the Sanders family. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That would be the only... I don't even know. Is that a faux pas? Everyone would just be like, I don't know what's going on, dude. Yeah, they're doing split uniforms to make the Browns feel better because they're so bad. Yeah. Like not even taking you seriously as an opponent. I feel bad for Browns fans. I do. Yeah. It's got to be such dog shit to deal with this. Year in, year out. No end to the – and just when you seem like you have maybe an answer, you throw that away.

1:41:20And the way that you throw it away is by making your team not only unwatchable, but also unroot-forable in terms of who you decide to bring in. Correct. To turn around your team from a spot where you're at the best place that you've been in maybe the last 30 years. Yes, that's – I feel bad for Browns fans.

1:41:39PFT Commenter:Oh, it goes without saying. You don't even – you really don't even have to say it. It's kind of an implied... It's a test of whether you're a human being or not. Do you feel bad for... It's a shitty... Their franchise just kicks them in the nuts repeatedly. I also respect... Repeatedly. I respect the fuck out of Browns fans. Oh, definitely. Hank? Yeah? Do you respect Browns fans? Ohio State lost in a heartbreaker on Saturday. Yeah, tough weekend for the people of Cleveland. I just hated to see it. There's probably a lot of Ohio State Browns fans, and they just woke up mad and are going to wake up Monday even more mad.

1:42:21That's the one thing. And that's just too bad. At least they have a beautiful, you know. Never mind. A beautiful what? Just they live in Cleveland or Ohio. Cleveland's actually pretty nice. Yeah, the flats have come a long way, Hank. Don't do that. Machine Gun Kelly. You're an enemy of the state of Ohio. Bone thugs. I know. Yeah, they say terrible things to me. They deserve this.

1:42:44PFT Commenter:Well, you said terrible things to them. Not really. Yeah. I said the truth hurts. I do sometimes forget that Browns fans are usually Ohio State fans, and that makes me feel better about the whole situation. I don't. Tate always reminds us. I think that it's nice that the universe kind of slap, like it shakes your hand on Saturday and then slaps you in the dick on Sunday. Not right now. Ohio State's lost three out of the last four. Isn't that a crazy thing to say out loud? Lost three out of the last four. Maybe Todd Munkin get a little nipple pierce. I kind of like what you're about to do there.

1:43:20PFT Commenter:Todd DeMunkin. Todd DeMunkin. I think he should maybe come in as Todd DeMunkin. Everything runs on Munkin. Todd DeMunkin. Yeah. Todd DeMunkin, I think, would bench Deshaun. For sure. It's just so crazy that they're in a situation where, like, Deshaun actually might be the best option they have. I don't doubt that at all. Right. They don't even have a Cooper Rush. They should trade for a Cooper Rush. Flacco. Yeah, I mean, this is the curse of Flacco. They go to the playoffs with Joe Flacco, and Joe Flacco is, like, the best dude ever. Who do you think? Wait, so how many yards passing did Deshaun have in the fourth?

1:44:02126 yards, seven for seven. You got to build off that. Yeah, so I'm saying it's your fourth quarter. Just build off it. Yeah. That's like Drake in the Super Bowl.

1:44:10PFT Commenter:Yeah. Nine for 15, 79 yards in the first three quarters, which some would say is just as important because if you play that bad in the first three quarters, you'll probably be down 34 to three. You know the terrible towels they have in Jacksonville called the Jagrag? You think Deshaun took a couple home? Yes, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Who is the Gino said? I wasn't even touched today. Yeah. That's Deshaun's worst nightmare. Yeah. Wasn't even touched. He should go to that place by the ****, Zach. Probably. Are the Browns in town? Do they come to Chicago this year? No, they came last year. I bet he did.

1:44:49Yeah. Multiple times. Browns at the Bucs next weekend. I talked to a Browns fan close to us, and he said this is their Super Bowl next week.

1:45:00PFT Commenter:So that's pathetic. Yeah, it was tough. What do you mean? He said this is the Super Bowl. No, it's not. For some reason, our Browns fans are somehow mad at Baker Mayfield for them getting rid of him. That doesn't make any sense. That makes no sense. I mean, I guess. Be mad at your organization. I understand that Baker played while he was injured, and so he wasn't as good as he could have been. But you have to understand Baker, and you have to have somebody that's willing to bench him. Be like, hey, dude, get surgery. I will say, all right, one positive thing for the Browns. Ready? Won the Miles Garrett trade.

1:45:33PFT Commenter:Thus far. Miles Garrett, knee surgery, out for at least four weeks. Yeah, that's true. You won the Miles. Jared Burst didn't have a great game today, but you still, you won the Miles Garrett trade thus far. Yeah. Miles Garrett wins the ring. Maybe we change the update on who won the trade. But as of right now, you're the winner of that trade. If I'm Todd DeMunkin, what I would do after this game is I would keep the boys in Florida. Yeah. You know how, like, Sean McVay likes to keep guys on the East Coast if he's playing back-to-back games? Yep. You lose to the Jags. You got the Bucs. Let's just stay in Florida this week.

1:46:10Let's say we don't want to screw up the time zones, even though I'm pretty sure Ohio and Cleveland is the exact same time zone. You can't bounce. If you make that many trips back and forth between Florida and Ohio, there's going to be flock cameras that put you on suspicion of meth dealing.

1:46:25PFT Commenter:Yes. So you want to just stay in Florida for a long time, get a nice hotel maybe by the beach, a lot of great places to go out to eat in florida get some good seafood in tampa and uh maybe hit some of the gentleman's clubs there and acclimate yourself sounds like a good time yep sounds like a good time you're getting paid to be an nfl head coach right now why not enjoy yourself todd todd demunkin let loose let those fingers fly okay let's uh let's let's let's break and we'll we'll come back with the afternoon slate and also uh sunday night football before we get to more football it's brought to you by our great friends over at simply safe there's no safe like simply safe today's savvy burglars have done the math they know that if they trigger your alarm they still have time to grab what they want and go simply safe is different though when an intruder sets foot on your property ai powered cameras detect them and a live u.s based agent takes action to deter them before a window ever even breaks unlike traditional security systems that only alert you after a break-in is already underway, SimpliSafe is designed to help prevent the crime before it starts.

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1:48:39PFT Commenter:ID verification required to use a balance. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. The verification required to use a balance. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. Okay, afternoon games. Let's start. Should we start with the Eagles, Commander? Should we end with the Eagles, Commander? What do you want, Max? I mean, you're the one who's going to be going through it. I'm not going through it. If you mean providing an honest and right down the middle, straight up recap of the game. Yeah, that's what, yeah. That was a good promo. We'll end with you guys. Cliffhanger.

1:49:20PFT Commenter:Dolphins Raiders. Raiders 27. Dolphins 13. I don't know. The Dolphins are just, they might be the worst team in the NFL. Do the Dolphins play the Titans this year? That would be the shit bowl. We got to, that should be a Thursday night game. The reason why, if we go back and talk about how the Titans are the most depressed fan base, At least the Dolphins know. Everyone knows. Dolphins fans, Dolphins organization. We're rebuilding all of it. Yeah, this is actually. It's going to suck this year. Right. And maybe next year for the Dolphins. Right. But they're trying to do it the right way, I would say.

1:49:59I mean, the best part of this game for Dolphins fans. Malik Willis had cool shoes. I had the opposite take. You don't like the emerald sparkly slippers that he put on?

1:50:10PFT Commenter:I think you need to be a good football team to be wearing those. I think you should start with maybe shoeless. Max Crosby made him shoeless for a play. He ripped his shoe off. Max Crosby was everywhere. These are the type of games. Max Crosby was good all the time, but especially when it's like you're not even putting a real football team out there, Max Crosby's just going to fuck you up. He was pressured. Malik Willis was pressured 17 times, sacked five times. I think the shoes are a little too sparkly for how bad the Dolphins are going to be at football this year I think the shoes work though I think they worked in that they were like a distraction like you see some animals have little things on their body that they use to lure would-be predators away like that's what it did for Max Crosby he was like oh sparkly shoe he tackled that and Malik Willis got away on that play so I guess it cost him it earned him one sack but yeah the Dolphins are going to be bad all year long it's going to be very, very ugly.

1:51:09The Raiders actually, again, I don't know if it's because they were playing the Dolphins, but the Raiders, they didn't look bad today.

1:51:16PFT Commenter:They didn't look bad. I don't know. I think Fernando Mendoza is going to play sooner than we think because Kirk Cousins, incredible career. I actually think he's going to be good if he wants to stay a backup and be on an NFL roster for a while, but it feels like he doesn't have the same zip, downfield zip. Maybe it's because of the age injury. I don't know. More touchdown passes than John Elway today. That's true. He just wasn't like it didn't. And also, this is not on Kirk, like all of it on Kirk, because they don't have a ton of weapons. Brock Bowers is out. It didn't feel like the Raiders were ever threatening downfield.

1:51:54PFT Commenter:And when you play a team that's not named the Miami Dolphins, it might look a little different. Yeah, it's a very good possibility. But he was a competent. He's been better than what the Raiders have had. He had 70 % completion percentage. He has raised the floor of what the Raiders have been doing at the quarterback position. I would say especially without having Brock Bowers. Yeah. The offense didn't look terrible. Kirk Cousins, three touchdowns, two interceptions. That's a very un-Kirk Cousins stat line. So I like that he was at least – I like that he puts the ball in danger every now and again.

1:52:25Good for Kirk.

1:52:25PFT Commenter:Yeah, but like 30 attempts for 160 yards is – you know. Oh, yeah. We're keeping it close to the line of screen. I would say their biggest threat in the passing game today was probably Ashton Gentry. Ashton Gentry, that would be the biggest thing of this game. This was Ashton Gentry's probably best game as a pro. I mean, he was everywhere. That was good to see. Michael Mayers was pretty good. I don't know why I added an S there. Michael Mayer was good. Their defense looked good. The Raiders, I mean, hey, they did win week one last year, but the Raiders, they did win week one last year. They played the Patriots.

1:53:02PFT Commenter:Uh, similar to memes and the jets, this felt like a, uh, measuring stick game of the levels to maybe being bad. They, they raised the level where it's like, we're not the worst last year. They were the worst. They are no longer the worst. Definitely not the worst. Although nobody that's big. Nobody bails on the throw like Kirk cousins though. Yeah. There were a couple of those where he was, he's about to get hit and he's like, he's got his head turned and his shoulder turned as he's still somehow driving the ball downfield i'm gonna miss that when it's gone so i hope that he gets at least a couple more games do you want to try to figure out play a game when will the dolphins win their first game i would love to play that okay let's look this is gonna be fun because they play oh oh oh let's let's add a wrinkle to it okay who will win a game first titans or dolphins you get i'll do titans we'll go we'll go bar for bar schedule yeah this would be fun okay and we're not overreacting these teams do suck but they might lose every game yeah um at the niners this is week two week two for the dolphins i think that's gonna be a loss the titans are uh playing the philadelphia eagles that will be a loss that will be a loss okay although the niners they spent a long time in australia it's true doesn't matter it's the test okay who's got who do who do the uh that's have week three that's a little bit insulting isn't it that you know the the nfl tried to give the niners a little of a break for agreeing to go overseas and play in Australia, and their break is you have to play a Sunday game, but it's against the Dolphins.

1:54:34The Chiefs, week three. Week three, the Dolphins play the Chiefs where?

1:54:38PFT Commenter:In Miami? It's going to be hot. It is. I'm going to say that's not a win for the Dolphins. Not a win. The Titans are playing at the New York Giants, who we just watched win Sunday football. I'm going to say that's not a win either. I think the Giants might be good. Yes. Yes. Okay. We're at week three. So no wins so far at the Vikings. No. Win. You think that's it? You think that... Carson Wentz? Or Kyler? Brian Flores... Wentzel Soda. Brian Flores blitzing the fuck out of Malik Willis is going to be a... They're going to win eventually. How did he do against the Vikings in the last couple years?

1:55:14I don't know if he played in those games.

1:55:17PFT Commenter:But he didn't play in those games, I don't think. I don't think he played in those games last year. Because he played early. He played late last year. Thank you. I don't have a memory of it, but yeah, I don't have a memory of it. I have a memory of J.J. McCarthy playing against the Packers last year. He did not play against the Vikings, and he did not play against the Vikings. Okay, so we haven't seen it. Don't know. Okay, so that's week four. You're saying that's a win. Okay. Week four for the Titans, they play at Baltimore. That's a loss. That's a loss, too, yeah. Yeah. Week five? Week five for the Miami Dolphins is going to be against the Bengals at home.

1:55:59PFT Commenter:That is a loss. I agree. Week five for the Titans is going to be at home against the Houston Texans. That is a loss. Yeah. Yeah, that's a lot. Memes is saying, I don't know. Speak memes. You never know. Division games. Play it tight. Okay. The next week for the Dolphins is going to be at the Jets. Oh. I'm not going to say it. It's at the Dolphins? No, at the Jets. Oh, that's a win. That's a win for the Jets. In Miami, different. In Miami, it could be different, yeah. I'm looking right now, the Titans. I think, so week six, they play at the Colts. Week seven, they play at home against the Browns.

1:56:38PFT Commenter:I think the Titans are going to get their first win before November. Can you find one for the Dolphins? I got the Dolphins winning the next week, the first day of November. Okay. And this is not, like, a lot of people are going to be like, like, oh, PFT likes to make fun of the Patriots, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Hank will tell you the Dolphins always beat the Patriots at home. It's true. In Miami. It's true. So there it is. So November 1st is what I'm saying for the Dolphins' first win. I think we should maybe see if we can get this as a bet who wins a game first. Titans. Again, we're not overreacting.

1:57:11PFT Commenter:I think both these teams are bad. Yeah. I think Dolphins fans would tell you that. They'll say, yeah, we're intentionally trying to be bad this year. This is what should replace the Pro Bowl. It should be the Dolphins against the Titans. Best of seven. Yeah, best. I don't know about it. I don't know if America can handle that. But winner gets first. Whoa, whoa. You would take that game eight weeks ago. You would take a four-yard loss. Don't take me out to the balcony. Yes. By the way, shout out our guy Jake to Scorgamis today. I think the Packers and Vikings and the Bears and Panthers. That's wild.

1:57:48Huge.

1:57:48PFT Commenter:Double trouble. I would say wild. Okay. Anything else from this game? Good for the Raiders. Good for the Raiders. Good for the Raiders. Good for the Raiders. I think the Raiders are in that frisky territory, especially when, like, if Max Crosby can win a game early and be like, hey, this doesn't absolutely suck dick playing for this team. And that is, again, I didn't mean to disparage Kirk Cousins because Father Time's undefeated. It's like he's just not exactly the same as he used to be. You can say the same thing for Aaron Rodgers. Kirk Cousins does make them way more of a real football team than they have been in the past few years.

1:58:27PFT Commenter:He raises the floor of both professionalism and he started the game 9 for 9. He can move the ball. I just don't know if he has to play against a really good defense if it's going to look great. It's Kirk Cousins, but it's also they address the offensive line a little bit. the system that they're in now is much, much friendlier to protecting the quarterback and not getting him absolutely destroyed. Yeah. So, yeah, the Raiders today, and it might be because they played against the Dolphins, but today the Raiders were absolutely a watchable football team. Yes. And I think it's more like you're going to want to see if the Raiders, if the parts around the Raiders are decent, you're going to want to see Fernando Mendoza soon.

1:59:10PFT Commenter:Like, you don't draft the guy first overall and have him sit all year. See what it looks like. But Kirk Cousins, good game. Good win. Ashton Gentry, good game. Even though he got destroyed. Yes. On one play. Okay. Next up, Vikings 39, Packers 22. This was quite the game because we had the Packers outgain the Vikings 419 to 239. They were up 22 to 10 with three minutes left in the third quarter. And then they allowed 29 consecutive points. And man, was it a shame to see the Packers come completely unhinged and lose their six straight game. Six straight game. I think they haven't lost six straight in a very, very long time as a franchise.

1:59:56And they're losing big. They're getting big leads and then blowing them in the second half consistently now.

2:00:03PFT Commenter:They are doing it basically the same exact way that they lost the Broncos game, the Bears game in the playoffs. The Packers have lost six straight dating back to last season, including the playoffs, their longest losing streak since 1990 and 91. They led by more than one score, so nine plus points, in the second half of four of those losses. Week 15 at Denver, week 16 at Chicago, the wild card game at Chicago, and today. Yeah. That's crazy. It's weird. I don't know what LeFleur is doing. Some would say that the turning point might have been when he took points off the board. Do you agree that you never take points off the board?

2:00:40PFT Commenter:I think in this situation, so the situation was this. The Packers were up five. It was fourth and five at Minnesota 17, and they kicked the field goal good offsides on the Vikings. It was fourth and six. It becomes fourth and one. They then go for it, get stuffed. So instead of an eight-point game, it's back to a five-point game. Now, I don't like the Packers. I was happy to watch them completely come unglued at the seams, and it was fun to watch. And they clearly have a mentality problem that has kind of seeped into there where they just can't close games. I will say that that roughing the passer was bullshit.

2:01:25PFT Commenter:That was a very significant part of the game. So after they took points off the board, Carson Wentz, it was a third and three, pretty routine hit on the quarterback in an incompletion. They called that roughing the passer. The Vikings then go on to score a touchdown. And then the Packers didn't have the mental fortitude to overcome this moment, but that was a shitty moment. Like, that was a bad call in my mind. Even Lil Wayne said, refs in Minnesota game, pure pussy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I mean, look at it. That was not. The thing is, when Carson Wentz gets hit, he is going to act like he got roughed every single time.

2:02:07Correct. You see him get hit, and you're like, oh my God, is he okay? Yeah. That is bullshit. But again, by the letter of the law, that's the right call. The law just sucks.

2:02:15PFT Commenter:Yeah, no, and I just, that did, that was a significant play in the game where the Vikings, again, I think that is partially like the Packers, when one thing goes bad for them, it kind of spirals. because then it really did spiral where Jordan Love fumbled and there was interception and Brian Flores was just in his bag. He blitzed 78 % of the dropbacks. He had Jordan Love in hell. And it looked like the Packers, they should have won this game. They were in control of this game. They didn't make adjustments. The Packers' offensive line looked like they were completely lost. And Jordan Love was trying to play hero ball.

2:02:53PFT Commenter:Dallas Turner was an absolute menace, just a force in this game. and it ends up that the Packers lost. If you told Packers fans, hey, Carson Wentz is going to come into this game and you're going to lose by – you're going to outgain him almost double, and then you're going to end up losing by 17, they'd be like, we can't believe you. Yeah, if you look at the team stats for this game, it's actually shocking that the Packers lost. So the Vikings had 239 total yards. The Packers had 419 total yards. and not only did the Vikings win, but they won by 17 points. It's kind of crazy. People are like, oh, you never take points off the board.

2:03:31I think people say that because it sounds cool and it's an easy rule to remember. I don't hate the idea. I don't hate the decision that they made. To go for it? Yeah, to go for it. I can't.

2:03:42PFT Commenter:We give Matt LaFleur enough guff about not stepping on throats and that has been a problem that you can't then. It would be hypocritical of us to be like, dude, how do you do that? I agree with you. Sometimes you take points off the board. If they score a touchdown on that drive, the game's probably over. Yeah. How many times have you played blackjack and you hit on a hand and then the next hand you're like, well, I'm feeling pretty good right now. I'll double. Yeah. I'll double my bet. The process I don't think was bad by LaFleur, but when it doesn't work, it bites you in the ass. And then when you have a history in the last six games of getting bitten repeatedly in your ass, then people are going to be like, hey, why did you tempt fate to get bitten in the ass again?

2:04:19PFT Commenter:It's a very meatball thing to say, but it does feel like the Packers lack that mental toughness. And maybe the answer is that when Micah Parsons comes back, you get a closer who can end these games. Gruden talks about it all the time. But it does feel like these games get away from them with just one bad thing happens, and then next thing you know, it's an avalanche. Yeah. Kyler Murray knocked out with a little concussion. I mean, little. I didn't mean that because he's short. He looks really little. He did look small. We knew that was going to happen in the Vikings purple. But when he was like scrambling, I just kept on saying, we.

2:04:55Yeah, it looked adorable. Yeah. Now, again, don't want to victim blame here. Kyler kind of put his head there.

2:05:03PFT Commenter:That sounds like a lot of victim blaming. Well, when you slide, you put your – if somebody's starting a tackle, if they're beginning the form tackle, and then you slide and your head ends up at their pad level, it sucks. I don't think it was a malicious hit. I don't think it was like football is a violent sport. And there were two guys that were trying to tackle him. When you put your head down at that level, you kind of sometimes invite contact. And it was bad contact because it was like one guy took the helmet off and then the other guy hit him. But it was super unfortunate. I hope that he's okay.

2:05:39PFT Commenter:Can you go back up to the hit, Max, instead of showing some guy jump off his balcony? I got distracted. You got so distracted. I mean, that was a crazy video. I mean, I looked at Kyler Murray. Yeah, I want to watch it again while P.I.T. is describing it. I'm making... Yeah. Both the guys start going in as Kyler is still running. It wasn't as much as the...

2:06:04PFT Commenter:What do you think in the booth? He did kind of... The angle where you're seeing that we just showed, that one is... That one's a bad angle. I'll say this. In terms of hits to the head, I did not think that that was the most egregious guy headhunting hit possible. Rico Bosco victim blamed for another reason. Why? In the cave today. Why? He said that players in the NFL, their helmets aren't tight enough. I agree. That's true. That's a great thing. He was like, four years college football never once had my helmet popped off. He did say that. That's right. He's right. There's no way to check him on that.

2:06:46No way.

2:06:47PFT Commenter:He would not lie about it. So, yeah, Kyler Murray, I would assume he's going to be back in a couple weeks. Carson Wentz, it wasn't like he had to – he had a couple short fields, but he made Justin Jefferson. Do you know that that was the first touchdown of 20-plus air yards since 2024 for Justin Jefferson? So, last year he just – I mean, he was in hell. I did know that today Justin Jefferson had two touchdowns. He had two touchdowns all of last year. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that was probably fun for Justin Jefferson. He looked like he was having a blast. It was a shocking game because it really was.

2:07:26PFT Commenter:It was the first time in NFL history a team was down by 12-plus points with under 20 minutes left in regulation and ended up winning by 17-plus points. Yeah. The swing was nuts, and it was just an avalanche that just kept on going against the Packers. Again, love to see it. But yeah, if you're a Packer fan, you're like, what was this? This is exactly how we ended the season. Why hasn't anything changed? Yeah, it's like a ghost that keeps following you around. And why does this keep happening to us? Like you weren't, this was not a routine thing for the Packers until very, very recently. So what's going on?

2:08:01PFT Commenter:Yeah. There is a new super fan that I was not aware of that I spotted today at this game. Okay. A Viking super fan. He's got one of those, you know, the giant horns that you blow. okay i think he also drinks beer out of it okay kind of like guy stuff you know like it's a horn but also chug um his name is sir death have you heard of sir death before no i mean this guy looks fucking awesome i feel like this is a guy that he's somehow slipped between the cracks for us vikings sir death oh this guy rocks see look at this guy wow that's a lot of tattoos on his body a little uh oh man a little vikings uh game of thrones kind of pirates of the caribbean slash also slipknot yeah i'm into sir death like this is a guy that if we're talking just like battle royale with all super fans this guy would probably kill most other super fans yeah sir death yeah i hope he doesn't talk i don't want to see sir death talk do you know what i mean look at the giant dragon tattoo he's got on his belly.

2:09:03PFT Commenter:Sir Death, what a badass. He said, I have to laugh when these people say all that for a team with no Super Bowl to me like it's an insult. The only reason you cheer for a team is because they've won a Super Bowl in the past. It means you wouldn't have been a fan if they lost. That is the definition of a bandwagon fan. Yeah, all this for a team with no Super Bowl because the Viking fan base is better than yours. Okay. Okay, Sir Death. I like, yeah. Amen, Sir Death. Damn. Sir Death. This dude is, he will fuck you up. They should have let Sir Death get a couple reps in. If you have like a 15 point lead in the fourth quarter, let Sir Death rush the passer.

2:09:39PFT Commenter:Yeah. Not to overreact. Memes. I think you could end the Packers season. Oh, wait, wait. Here's the bio for Sir Death. Max just highlighted. I like sunsets, long walks on the beach and drinking from the skulls of my enemies. Just kidding. Fuck sunsets and beaches. Oh, he had us in the first half. Yep. I thought he was going to enjoy Holding hands, cuddling, puppies I thought he was going to say just kidding I don't drink from the skulls of my enemies Nope, he took out the sunsets and beaches Yeah memes I agree with you Do it Just gotta let him get a lead Do it And if you blow a lead against the Jets You should Quit This might be worst loss of Sunday I bias, but yeah, because it's maybe the Browns, but it's kind of, but you knew the Browns are going to suck.

2:10:35PFT Commenter:Like, it's kind of like I was talking about when we, when we started the show talking about the Texans, that if the Texans had had a game where they held the bills to 14 points, CJ Stroud looked like shit. You would have said to yourself, man, this is, this hasn't changed. The Packers lost the same way they lost their last five games of last season when they had like a historic collapse. This is second worst loss of the week. You're going to say chargers. and I agree. All right, let's do that game. Cardinals 26, Chargers 14. Inexcusable for the Chargers. And that's no offense to the Cardinals, but they looked bad, real bad.

2:11:09PFT Commenter:And it wasn't all Justin Herbert. He didn't look great. Their defense got diced up by Jacoby Brissett. It felt like guys were open all day for the Cardinals. Not only Jacoby Brissett's arm, but his legs too. Like he was scrambling effectively. Yeah. Great holdout by him. Yeah. Worth every penny. It's the first full-time Cardinals head coach to win their first game coaching since 1973. I saw that. Shout out Michael Floor. It was an incredible win. Don Correale was the last Cardinals head coach to win their debut. The Chargers, though, there was penalties. They kept on getting backed up.

2:11:47PFT Commenter:On third downs today, they averaged 12.4 yards to go. That's so hard to do To average that That's so so hard to do They looked like shit man I almost think that Jacoby Brissett should hold out again now Yeah Is Jacoby Brissett the most underpaid quarterback in football That's a good question Alright so I reached out to Shane Because Shane got Oh where's Shane? He got blue dot fever is what the kids are calling it Oh By the way He's homesick but he actually He called in sick before the game maybe his body just knew okay yeah uh but i asked him for comment on the chargers and he said he has too many comments on the chargers it's the dumbest he's ever seen the team platooning our left guard to swap every other drive for the backup to get blown up every time false star holding false star calling a timeout with two left with four minutes left to not get delay of game on third and 30 Dumbass Herbert pick to guy in double coverage the size of PFT.

2:12:50That's the goat you're talking about. Herbo threw a meatball. I'm going to read this sentence again. Wait, does he think it's false star? He might think it's false star. Dumbass Herbert picked false star. It's great. Dumbass Herbert picked to guy in double coverage the size of PFT. No offense. I felt like you didn't have to include that part. Big stupid pick guy. Big stupid pick guy. He is a stupid pick guy. You're right, Max. never wrong just early needed to win with the schedule they have the third hardest in the last decade defense was staley level bad sorry for so many messages that's all yeah i mean he's right

2:13:27PFT Commenter:this was a as much of a must win as you could have given the chargers schedule like we did that bet where we took all of our teams over over wins the chargers just lost that bet for us yep They have such a hard schedule coming up. They have the Raiders next week. Then they play the Bills, Seahawks, Broncos, Chiefs, Rams, Texans, Ravens. Yikes. I just listed like. Can we pull up the Harbaugh clip talking about Herbert? Oh, this is mean. This was saying he's the best quarterback of all time. The dumbest. The dumbest. Like Harbaugh is a smart guy. This was the dumbest thing you could ever say right before a season.

2:14:13PFT Commenter:Yeah. No, I don't think so. He loves this guy. He's trying to gas him up. He loves this guy. He's trying to tell him, like, I believe in you. Yeah. You could say that to him privately. He's saying, I believe in this guy, and it's my fault if he doesn't succeed. Yeah, he said, I – all right, go ahead. Like Babe Ruth pointing over the bat over the center field, So Justin Herbert, when it's all said and done, when his career comes to end, I predict he will be known as the greatest, best ever to play the position of quarterback. Okay, so it's a little bit crazy to say that, yes, but Harbaugh is a little bit of a crazy guy.

2:14:57And in his defense, he was being interviewed by Michael Irvin.

2:15:00PFT Commenter:And if you're talking to Michael Irvin, you kind of have to match his crazy sometimes. You get carried away. How old is Justin Herbert? 27? The thing is, he's at the age where if he doesn't start winning. He's never won a playoff game. And winning big. 26. It's almost impossible for him to be the best ever. Oh, he's 28? 28. Oh, no. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. The ship might have sailed already on being the best ever. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I think it's impossible. Brady and Mahomes both had rings when they were, what, 24, 25? Yeah. Multiple. I'm not saying that Herbert's not going to be a very good – I have him as my MVP this year.

2:15:52I feel really dumb with that pick right now. Yeah, he was bad. But I don't think it's – You know what?

2:15:58PFT Commenter:I'm just going to let Harbaugh cook. Let Harbaugh cook, and we'll just see where we end up. Mahomes is 30 right now, so he had one ring. What year was that? 2018? So he had a ring when he was like 23 years old. Yeah. Brady was 24. Yeah. So, yeah, I think he's in trouble. Madison Beer is very attractive. Can we just all admit that? Yeah. I wish the Chargers had done better so they would have showed her more. Yes. her outfit great week one outfit and we're a fashion podcast so it's not this is not us the glasses great glasses really good eyewear I like the string on her shirt what kind of lace is that on her shirt a really high quality well designed string can we zoom in on the string you're right Hank Justin Herbert should apologize to us yeah she should no he should it's a great strength she's very attractive I think that they should show her more even if they're losing I would like to see her reaction after he throws a pick maybe she should wear a split jersey with whatever team they're playing so it's like hey she's just rooting for football she wears an NFL hat now Max is on her Instagram it's pretty horny stuff scrolling through her Instagram I mean we're talking about her I thought maybe you would no we know what she looks like we saw her at the game dude you're talking about her fucking the string the string was nice I'm a fashion guy we opened up this door here it is a door what about punishment punishment for pics you have to wear that string shirt for the entire week of Super Bowl.

2:18:03You look ridiculous. You could fit right in LA.

2:18:06PFT Commenter:Oh, okay. Spicy take. Okay, Hank. I mean, Jerry O 'Connell. Jerry O 'Connell would wear that. Trevor probably has that shirt. Go off, Hank. Go off. Yeah, this is a really bad loss. Good win for the Cardinals. Cardinals were supposed to be... Did they have the lowest win total? They were supposed to be really, really bad. They looked good. They were tied for lowest win total. and yeah, they didn't look bad at all today. They moved the ball. They turned the ball over. They had a couple turnovers. I know they turned them over in the first half. I think there was a fumble and then the pick, and then I think they blocked a punt.

2:18:42PFT Commenter:So all three phases. Ladd McConkie got a rib shot. I think he might have been. I don't know if he was taking the hospital or he was taking for x-rays. That sucked, but he got jacked up on that play. Yep. There was. Trey McBride's still a beast. Trey McBride is just incredible. Just catches everything. There's also a new guy that I've never seen on the Cardinals sideline before. Probably because it's a new administration down there. New regime in Arizona. Do you see the dude rocking the pinstripe suit on the sidelines today? No. I got to know what this guy was doing. Okay. Because the Cardinals might have their big dom.

2:19:17That's what it looked like to me. I need to see a picture. So, Max, can you look that up? I need to see a picture.

2:19:26PFT Commenter:Oh, here are the tweets from Shane during the game. He said, what is this defense? Holy shit. I've never seen anything like this in my life. That's not true. Pathetic. Couldn't afford to lose this one. So many false stars. So many false. Did he say that? No, but I am going to just. Shane is a weird enough guy that he would definitely think it's false star. Not false. I mean, he said it several times. False star. False star. False star. I don't know how to find this. Worst loss. Worst loss of the week. I think it is. Given their schedule, upcoming, everything that's going on, Mike McDaniel being the offensive coordinator, relatively healthy going into the season because the Chargers always are great on a curve in terms of health.

2:20:11PFT Commenter:And then you're going up against a team that is not tanking, but we all know they're not trying to be a really good – they're basically doing a bridge quarterback with Jacoby Reset. Mike LaFleur's first game as a head coach. You've got to win that game at home. You've got to win that game every single time. And it was like a no-doubter. They won by double digits. I think it was the last drive, the one that started at about 233 left in the fourth quarter. It looked like the Chargers were trying to get Justin Herbert killed. And they kept going backwards. The blocking was just unreal. Oh, Shane said he slide texts.

2:20:49PFT Commenter:What is that? What is slide texts? Is it like T9? Oh, he doesn't type? He doesn't lift his finger. Yeah, he grew up upstate, so he never... You don't understand? What was that look, Hank? He just gave it look like gross. He doesn't lift his... Like, he does T9 word for an iPhone? What does that mean? He just goes like this? He's got to have the messy... He's got to have the greasy screen. Yeah, mine would just be buffalo sauce all over my phone. So he just doesn't use the T? Yeah, but he used the first T. He just doesn't go back to the T? Yeah, stop him from finishing the start. I don't know. It's slide texting.

2:21:35I've literally never heard of anyone doing that, which is very on brand for Shane.

2:21:38PFT Commenter:That's also just an insane thing to say, oh, I slide text, so I just don't spell the full words. Now it's your problem. Yeah, what? What? Especially with his greasy... The thumb is just covered in onion juice. So if he texted us, what time you want to start? And he just says, what time you want to star? And he's like, yeah, sorry, dude. I slide text. Deal with it. What if he... Yeah, that's so weird. Yeah, the Chargers averaged 12.4 yards to go on third down. I saw someone on Twitter say... Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Talking about on Wednesday night when the Patriots were playing and Drake May was not playing great.

2:22:19He said if Justin Herbert played like Drake May tonight, he'd be beheaded on live TV. That's true. They would do that. They would have absolutely. And then he played worse against a much worse team. Well, fourth quarter, Drake May played worse than Justin Herbert today.

2:22:35PFT Commenter:Fair. True. The first three quarters, I would take Drake May over Justin. Should Justin Herbert be beheaded? On live TV. No, because then that's less beer. I would say, no, it would be a lot of beer. It'd be no more head. But it'd be a lot of beer in the moment. No, but like that post-death beer are the best beers, or the worst beers. Worst beers. We need more beer. More beer. More beer. All the time. Yeah. Oh, he said, Shane said, it guesses what you type. This guy is crazy. It guesses what you typing by where finger slides and confused start with star. So this isn't a good text. Why doesn't he just text?

2:23:19PFT Commenter:It guesses what you typing by where finger slides and confused start with star. It guesses what you typing? You know what? Yes. It's Kevin from The Office. I blame Shane for a lot of this. Yeah, this guy is. This is the mentality of the weirdest guy in the world. Average Chargers fan. Great A. this franchise has no hope. Yeah. Again, the fact that he said this is the worst I've ever seen. I think it's just everyone's so scared. Listen, Chargers fans, Shane, if you're listening, you are right now. You'll win a couple of the games you thought you were going to lose. That's what the NFL is. It seems dire, but that will always happen.

2:24:03PFT Commenter:There'll be a game. I mean, look, you might be playing Drew Locke. you thought you were going to play Sam Darnold. Shit happens. That is true. So the Chargers, they got, well, they got the Raiders, right? And then at the Bills. Yeah. At the Seahawks. You have to win next week. You got to win next week. You got to win. Non-negotiate. Non-negotiate. Okay. Last game. Eagles 24, Commanders 22. Boys. Yep. I'll let you guys go wherever you want to go with it. Nope. Oh, you're pointing back and forth to each other? Would you like me to go? I defer. Would you like the good or the bad? Give us both. Too bad first.

2:24:50I'll start with the bad. Offensive line. Eagles automatically having the best offensive line in the league. No longer the case. The offensive line was terrible today. Landon Dickerson was terrible. like one of the worst linemen in the NFL today, which is a real big problem if that's what we're going to be having going forward. And then my other, just off of the eyeball test, I didn't think Cooper DeGene played a very good game defensively. But in the whole, I think the defense played pretty well. The defensive line was getting good pressure. Jaden is a tough guy to sack, but I think they got enough pressure to make him uncomfortable, and I thought Jalen Hurts was fantastic.

2:25:36I thought Jalen Hurts played a very good game, especially with all of the criticism that he's had in the offseason, all of the drama with A.J. Brown, Makai Lemon, one of the craziest debut stat lines of all time. Three catches for negative five yards to start his career. Nice. Dontavion Wicks was very good. Dallas Goddard was fantastic.

2:26:02not the cleanest game, but we'll take a win. A win's a win. Hank, what was your thought? You just kind of said you just shrugged your shoulders, and you're like, what the hell? I'm trying to slide right now in the group chat. You're trying to slide text.

2:26:15PFT Commenter:He's trying to slide text. I felt like Jalen Hurts was more decisive with his running, too, today. Yeah. I mean, that 38 team was massive. He was a problem running football. The offensive line was, yeah, concerning. Oh, yeah. But I do think that some of that was because there were guys coming. And I was right about the guys coming. Oh, they were coming. Durante Jones is officially confirmed as a I'm going to have guys coming guy. He is from the Brian Flores tree. The commander's defense went from unwatchable last year, like one of the worst in NFL history, to I think we might be average or maybe even a little bit better than average overall because of how creative he gets with the blitzes.

2:26:58Well, I'm only, like, the Eagles film guys said that they had already watched the film and, like, Landon Dickerson is, like, unplayable if that's how he's going to play. But I agree there were other moments of the game where the blitzes were a problem. Yeah. I have my blame, my blame chart for the Commanders. Okay. Because I don't think, big picture, I don't think the sky is falling. I really wanted to win this game. be awesome to go on the road in Philadelphia and walk away with a win week one. That would have been great. But overall, I think there's some bad. There's some good to take away. My number one blame goes to, honestly, it pains me, Mike Sanders still.

2:27:42They were hunting Mikey today. Yeah, that one. That first touchdown was a tough look. There were a couple plays, and I think he still can be a really good player. but they were absolutely hunting Mikey today and that was tough to see. He got turned around a couple times, looked really bad there. Two of the biggest plays of the game, I think, were largely his responsibility. That throw to Wicks for a touchdown and then that deep bomb. Was that also to Wicks? The bomb to Wicks where he just... Both of them were Wicks, yeah. His controller got unplugged twice today and they both ended up in chunk plays that pretty much won the game for the Eagles.

2:28:19Dan Quinn, second most blame. I don't know what we're doing timeouts. I don't think Dan Quinn understands how to use timeouts correctly. It's complicated. It is. You only get three, and you get three in each half, and they don't carry over. What if you get a challenge right? But then if you get a challenge right, then— Do you get an extra timeout? No. You get four? Well, you don't burn a timeout. Got it. But when you lose a challenge, you burn one. And I don't know if this is— The backwards snapback hat today on Dan Quinn, It looked like his brain was trying to burst through his forehead because he couldn't figure out how timeouts work.

2:28:52Really dumb stuff by Dan Quinn.

2:28:53PFT Commenter:I do think the hat would piss me off when you lose games. Yeah, hat pisses me off in a loss. It does. Third most blame, kicker. Jalen Carter blocked an extra point and then missed a 56-yard field goal between the two of those plays and ended up being very, very consequential to the final score of the game. and then the play call on the two-point conversion from Blau. I don't think Blau had a terrible game. I don't think he had a great game, but that was a doy-doy call, running the shovel pass to our backup tight end, which actually it might have worked if Allegretti or Sinner had held his block, but he got manhandled.

2:29:32So it didn't work. It was a dumb play. And no blame to Diggs, by the way. No blame to Diggs. Caught a touchdown. I know ideally in that place you're thinking we're going to go for two. In fact, I think it was the first team since 2000 that had kicked an extra point down two in the final 10 minutes of regulation. And it's because Diggs caught the touchdown and then went sailing balls first into the upright. When you sign Stephon Diggs, this is the bargain that you make. If the deal is going to be he catches a touchdown and in the process of catching a touchdown, he commits a 15-yard unsportsmanlike penalty.

2:30:15Yes, that's exactly what you think you're going to get. Also, I don't know if you saw this, Hank, but it was on third and sixth, so he was just super excited that he actually got the ball in his hands on that play. So no blame. That's Diggs. That's what Diggs is going to do. It sucks. Get costly penalties. It sucks. In crucial moments of the game. I can't invite Diggs into my home and then be like, hey, why did you rub your dick on the upright? That's what he's going to do. it's the first line on his resume that he's going to do something like this am I wrong?

2:30:46PFT Commenter:no I don't think so I wouldn't say no blame I would say he deserves blame for sure it's true that you know what you're getting with him but you also like he deserves blame for you guys losing the game I don't know how I can blame Diggs we're the ones that brought him in if anything Adam Peters signed him but he was a great, I think he was a great player today for us. I think he helped us almost win the game. Bill looked good for the most part. Well, I mean, he did enough. We did enough. You guys tried. We could have won. You tried hard. Can I ask a Roback question? That's all you can ask for. Roback question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com promo code TAKE.

2:31:27PFT Commenter:20 % off your first purchase. Q-Zips, polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com promo code TAKE. Is there any blame to Jaden? And also, I came down late in the fourth because I was getting ready for the show. There seemed to be some tension in the cave. You were people were throwing accusations at you that you were celebrating the simplest Jaden passes as incredible. Yep. That's fast. I didn't see it. That's Max and Hank were saying. We got a biased audience because Hank put together a hater parlay. Thoughts and prayers. Hank, your hater parlay did not win. Did not even come close to winning.

2:32:02It did win pretty much. No, it didn't. Because I took the opposite of Hank's hater parlay, and I won. Oh. I took a pro-Jaden parlay that directly counted in. No, you didn't. That's impossible. I had 18-plus completions for Jaden. I had, I believe, two touchdowns. That wasn't part of mine. Which he got. And then I had commanders to cover the spread. That's not the opposite of mine. That's fine. What was yours? Congrats for yours. It was under 18.5, under 200 yards, and the Eagles. And an interception. Okay. So you were very close. Pretty much, yeah. I mean, I fought. That's kind of what you get.

2:32:42I fought hard. For three quarters of this game, Jaden Daniels was terrible. So here's the thing. He was terrible. I don't think he was terrible. I don't think he was terrible. He had like 35 yards. You had 18 and a half. I had 18 plus receptions. Got it. Max, I don't think he was terrible. I've been thinking about this. He didn't play good. He definitely didn't play good. But it was clear what the Eagles were doing with their secondary, and Jaden needed to take off early instead of dodging around in the pocket and then throwing the ball away. I don't know how many throwaways he had out of bounds, but it was a shitload of him.

2:33:17At that point, he has to be more decisive and run at that spot. But he wasn't throwing the ball well. He was missing lots of throws. He missed a few throws, but I think a lot of the incompletions were clearly on out of bounds intentional throwaways.

2:33:35I don't know if we were watching this. He was bad. In the fourth quarter, he was good. In the fourth quarter, he was good. I wouldn't say bad. He was bad. But when he threw, when it was like third and 15 or second and 15, and he makes a throw for a first down, I'm going to say good throw, and then Max had a real problem with that. Well, it just became like, wow, great throw, and it's like a wide open receiver. Great play and great throw are two different things. An expected throw for every quarterback in the NFL for a wide open receiver is not a, wow, great throw on every single completion that he had.

2:34:10And it was because he was playing poorly, so you were trying to convince yourself being like, oh, he's back. That's a great throw. That's a great throw, which is fine. It's a good coping mechanism for a fan in the NFL for a quarterback who's playing poorly. I've done that when Jalen Hurts is playing poorly. Today he did not play poorly. I was just excited for a first down. But great throw and great play are two different things. You're reading way too much into the language policing here, Max. Hank, were you there? I was just excited. Yeah, it was like a check down, and PIP2 was like, oh, great throw.

2:34:44I will say it. Biased aside, after this conversation happened, Jay and Daniels actually had some.

2:34:52PFT Commenter:He almost brought him back to win. I said that. He was doing some great stuff at the end of the game. The beginning, it did feel like he was indecisive with the ball. Yeah, and he was. I think he's been told, don't put yourself in danger, don't run with the football. So he would get away from the initial pass rush, and then he would stay behind the line of scrimmage, and then nothing would pop up, and he'd throw the ball away because it's too late to run. In those cases, and he did that a little bit in the second half, and he had an awesome run against this Eagles defense, and he was more decisive about running with the football, and then everything kind of became easier.

2:35:27but he was staying way too long in the backfield with the ball in his hands and then just running out of time and then, okay, I'm just going to airmail one 20 yards out of bounds. I thought that, again, the defense I thought was better than expected. Sonny Stiles is awesome. Sonny Stiles had a great debut. He was all over the field.

2:35:45PFT Commenter:What other fights did you guys have? Any other? I think that was basically it. Max is just mad because I said great throw. Yeah. On a completion for 15 yards and a first down, and it wasn't as good a throw as a match. So pretty much no little boy ass play or anything like that? It was pretty tame, yeah. It's pretty cordial. It's week one. Week one. Jalen Hurts had a great game. I agree with that. And I would never say anything positive about Jalen Hurts on these airwaves. Never have, never will. But he was very decisive. The run that he had on third. The game pretty much swung on a couple plays.

2:36:16One was the long touchdown to Goddard. I believe that was third down as well. But then the run that Jalen Hurts had. Yeah, it was third and long. It was third and 18, I think. At that point, that swung the entire game's momentum.

2:36:29PFT Commenter:And we should also say Jalen Carter is just the best at blocking kicks. Yes. It's insane. He's so good. I mean, that could have been, you know, you don't have to go for two if he doesn't block that extra point. Yep. Also, Tyler Owens had one of the best plays that I've ever seen on special teams. Oh, yeah, that was sick. He was double teamed off the bat as a gunner, and then he stiff arms one guy into the ground, and then stiff arms another guy into the ground, and then delivers a spine buster tackle at the end. It was awesome. Yeah. Also, this guy Tyler Owens, athletic freak. I think he was undrafted, but he was one of the most athletic safeties at the combine.

2:37:05He doesn't believe that space is real. He thinks space is fake.

2:37:09PFT Commenter:Space is hard to put your head around. It doesn't make a lot of sense. It doesn't. I think as a defensive back, not believing that space exists is actually a good mindset to have. Yeah. Like no daylight in between me and you. Close the space. Yeah. I don't hate that strategy of him being like, I don't want to think too hard about something because it kind of hurts my brain, so I'm just going to think that it doesn't exist. Right, yeah. I'm with it on that. I kind of... Space does fuck... Because if you think too hard about space, it fucking sucks. It fucked me up the other day. I watched one of those videos with my kids where it was like, this is the Earth, then this is the Sun, then this is the next biggest star, and then it just keeps going and keeps going and keeps going until there's galaxies and it's all this stuff and they were just cheering every time it got bigger and i was like stop cheering like this is fucked up and when they're like this is the size this is the size of the earth but here's the earth compared to the size of the sun yeah no that's no i don't want to think about that oh yeah it kept on going and then it's just like and then this is the galaxy and then this is the small galaxy this is the big galaxy this is the black star this is the giant black star they're like yeah yeah stop this is fucked up so i'm with this guy i did say that i would i was going to base my entire theory on how the season would go on the first drive that the commanders had and i i have my answer we got a field goal it was not like a super impressive drive that's nine and eight commanders will be nine and eight this year based on that drive nine and eight nine and eight i i think the eagles are a very very good team i think that this was not the worst showing that you possibly could have against a good team um but you have in order to be a good team you have to win these kind of games And we had every opportunity to win despite the fact that we didn't play well.

2:38:51And, yeah, Jaden didn't play great in the first half. I would say he played – I would give him a D in the first half, and then I would give him a B-plus in the fourth quarter. But – I'm good with both of those grades. Are you okay with those grades? I'm good with both of those grades.

2:39:04PFT Commenter:What about if he says good throw? Good throw is fine. Oh, I know it's not. Where it makes sense. Great throw. Sorry, great throw. What if he says great throw? it's got to be a good throw it's got to be like a tight window or so then i just started like not acknowledging anything good i'd just be like average touchdown that's what you're supposed to do great job it was there was routine throws routine touchdowns routine possible game winning drive every play is hard in the end like bad penalties but like that's what you know that's what you want yeah must win next week i wouldn't say that's what we want hank No, but that's when you, yeah, like, Stephon Diggs, like, you said, I'll take that all day.

2:39:49I can't be mad at him. Yeah, right. Why won't you be? He cost you the game, but, like, fuck it. We brought him in. Exactly. No, I agree. Like, I totally agree. You ever hear about the scorpion and the frog? Yeah. Yeah, the scorpion stings, and he's like, what do you expect? I'm a scorpion. Of course, Stephon Diggs is going to score touchdowns, and then he's going to put his dick on shit. This also didn't end up being that consequential, because they still got the two-point try. Yeah, they did. like if they'd never got that two-point try then it would have been but you'd rather do that earlier yeah but it i don't know like you could have you could have still gone for it not gotten it and then you just wouldn't have had a chance in that last but no then that affects the way that you call plays moving forward you're right it definitely listen i obviously i'm joking a little bit about digs i wish that he didn't do that that was stupid and jayden said it was stupid but at the end of the day he caught a touchdown Stephon Diggs is a little bit crazy prediction that's not the last time he's going to do something like that

2:40:48PFT Commenter:so is next week a double must win because the Cowboys will get to the last game but Cowboys, Commanders playing at Cowboys I wish the Cowboys won today Max wouldn't understand that he doesn't get that part of it I wish the Cowboys would beat the Giants because they're going to be desperate and we're not going to be able to catch him sleeping next week. So, yeah, must win. I said the first three games, the commanders have to get one win out of those first three games. Yeah. Okay. So that game happened to the Cowboys, Giants, Giants 28, Cowboys 20. What a win for the Giants. It feels like a, I don't want to say statement win because you can't really have a statement win in week one, but maybe it's a announcement of a new regime and the Giants to me looked tougher, more physical, more buttoned up as a football team than they have looked in a very long time.

2:41:47PFT Commenter:And they kind of like, like the Cowboys have all this talent. The Giants were just the tougher team. They were just kind of bullying them. And there was a little bit of fumble luck where the ball kept on bouncing and the Giants recovered a couple of them. And Dak did his classic Dak, like what the fuck are you doing pick at the end of the first half, which made no sense. But that's on Dak. That's not like the Giants shouldn't be apologizing for that. You've got to be pumped if you're a Giants fan. Yeah, you've got to be very excited about it. And then also at the end of the game, did you see the four play calls in a row to Singletary?

2:42:21Yeah. Ran the same play. Yes. And the Cowboys made zero adjustments on it. I thought the Giants, they looked more, I don't know if the word is professional. They did. They crisp. They look crisp. Crisp and physical. All the small stuff. It looks like they did everything a half second faster than they did over the last few years. They scored their first touchdown on week one in the last four years. So that was a great start for them, too.

2:42:44PFT Commenter:That second half, by the way, was crazy in terms of there was only five drives total. It went 12 play, 74 yards, touchdowns for the Giants. 12 play, 75 yards, touchdown for the Cowboys. That was the entirety of the third quarter. Each team had the ball once in the third quarter. Fourth quarter, 13 plays, 65-yard touchdown for the Giants. Nine plays, 74-yard touchdown for the Cowboys, and the Giants got the ball and ended the game. It's crazy. Giants were awesome on third down tonight. Yeah. 90%, I believe. And it felt like they had a really good plan for Jackson Dart, some designed runs that looked good.

2:43:22PFT Commenter:Scadabo, when he's healthy, is awesome to watch. Isaiah Likely, beast. like that that seems like that was a really good uh free agent acquisition for for them to get him from the ravens because remember he was he was good on the ravens he got hurt a little bit and mark andrews is always number one guy he might be that that might be a big big uh grab for them where it's like you look at their team it's like okay they got neighbors they got scataboo they got likely like that's starting to kind of shape up to be a pretty nice position groups i think it was two guys i think it was likely and then patrick ricard yeah oh they got they got multiple guys i think but but two guys like that i think yeah they get the puncher too are like setting a tone in terms of like what what are we going to be about as a team yeah also shout out james winston one of the better uh help the sky ups that i've seen all year and it's a early in the season but But all-time help-up guy.

2:44:21Dark got laid out on the sidelines, and Jameis was our first responder on the scene. Yep. And just pushing everybody out of the way. I got you.

2:44:28PFT Commenter:Yeah. George Pickens, I feel like he had a couple that he should have caught that he didn't. The Cowboys, you could see the flashes in the offense, but it's going to be interesting. They have to win. This will be a massive game week two. Speaking of which, let's look real quick at next Sunday because you always get excited on Sunday night when you're like, hey, what do we got coming? What do we got coming up? And now it's time for that special part of today's episode brought to you by NFL Sunday Ticket. With NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV, you get every game every Sunday all in one place with the magic of multi-view.

2:45:05PFT Commenter:You can curate your own perfect Sunday slate while tracking every single out-of-market matchup to keep your fantasy team alive, to make sure you're ready for kickoff. We've locked in the four games you absolutely need to be watching this Sunday. Okay, so this is for everyone out there who's listening, who has multi-view. What is the multi-view? The perfect multi-view for the early slate in week two. I'm going to throw some out there. Ready? Should we throw Steelers and Patriots on there? Yes. Must win for the Patriots. Saints and Ravens got to be on there. Shuck. You got to have Shuck on the multi-view.

2:45:44PFT Commenter:I think Bengals and Texans auto multi-view. And then we need one more. One more. Is it Vikings Bears? I think so. I think it's Baker, Bucks, Baker Browns. True. Oh, true. Okay. That's a good one. Yeah. So go right now, YouTube TV, multi-view. You can watch four games at once. It's incredible. So, yeah, we just gave you a great NFL Sunday right there with the multi-view. So we're going to go Browns, Bucs, Steelers, Patriots, Bengals, Texans, and Saints, Ravens. So you can watch. Take that shuck ladder to the moon. Okay, boys. That was week one. We're going to do who's back in a minute. But that was any closing thoughts on week one.

2:46:33I've now decided to double down on Hank's face and just say I'm glad Diggs did that. It was funny. Me too. Yeah. It's good. That's good. It's good. I hope he does it harder next time.

2:46:46PFT Commenter:Get right at it. Yeah. Yeah. It was a loud sound. It's going to suck if he does it again. And he will. And you're going to have to. He will. You're going to have to defend it again. No, you won't have to defend it. You're going to have to cheer it. Yeah, you got to say that was awesome. I'm a fan of NFL football. I like Diggs. Also, I'm a fan of slapstick comedy. So I hope he does it again. You got it? Yeah. I hope they put a sound effect in the uprights. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be very funny. He needs to do a better job, though, of hitting the top and then sliding down. That would be hilarious.

2:47:18PFT Commenter:And, like, pretending like he's knocked out. Yeah. That would be really good. All right, should we do who's back of the week? It's good to talk ball with the boys. Who's back of the week is brought to you by our friends at Twisted T. Listen, football is back. It's a moment we've all been waiting for. Football season back in full swing, which means we'll be posted up with an ice cold T until further notice. Twisted Tea is a refreshing hard ice tea made with real brewed tea and 5 % alcohol. The Twisted Tea Party Pack has a little something for everyone with original half and half raspberry and peach.

2:47:49PFT Commenter:Whether you're tailgating at the stadium, crushing teas in your man cave, or grilling out with your friends, Twisted Tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today. Keep it twisted. We love the Twisted Tea half and half, the original, absolute best Twisted Tea. Go get it today. All right, Hank, who's back of the week? we're gonna talk a lot of college football on Wednesday who's back of the week is eating shit oh Steve Ballmer oh while we were recording the show yes he put out a statement about these you know everything that's come down on the Clippers and they're originally fighting it but tonight he put out a statement said this has been a very difficult time for everyone associated with the Clippers and after that I have sincere regrets I want to apologize to our fans, employees my fellow NBA owners for the distraction and distress this matter has caused, for which I accept responsibility as principal owner.

2:48:44And then he basically, you know, long statement, but he said, we're putting this chapter behind us, and we are complying with the penalties assessed by the league. We've paid the fine and are moving forward. So there is going to be no pushback. They came out when it first came out like a year ago that they denied, denied, denied. He said he got screwed over too. yep then when the suspension came out they said this is bullshit we you know categorically deny all these claims and then he's just whatever's come to light he's just he's like all right we're

2:49:16PFT Commenter:gonna eat all this shit i think someone finally got into his head where it's like dude you're you're caught red-handed wind horse said this remember we talked about it like the timber rolls when they did this they complied they apologized they came forth they were forthright and they're like hey this is what we did and then they gave him two of their picks back they took five away they gave two back balmer someone smart around balmer was like dude they literally have everything you you are dead to rights like what are you doing and and it's like if you want to save any type of face any type of picks you have to just say you fucked up and so smart by him i'm sure when he like became a billionaire he was like i'll never have to eat shit again in my life yeah i'll never have to apologize i'll never have to say i'm wrong i'm always right this has got to suck for him yeah it's realizing you actually don't have fuck you money yeah yeah because everyone around which is it's crazy because he is the wealthiest nba owner but still yeah i thought he was going to drag this out in court pablo brought the richest nba owner to his knees damn had him saying uncle how much do you think he hates pablo tory like how much do you think I think he's just bitching about him to his wife.

2:50:32Oh, I'm sure he's got like... He's trying to reverse Uno card him. You think he's got private investigators? Yeah. I doubt Pablo has anything, you know, any skeletons in his closet. But if he does, Balmer's finding those motherfuckers.

2:50:47PFT Commenter:Pablo should reverse the reverse Uno card and do like a fake skeleton. Yeah. If I were Pablo, I'd like... next time I take out my trash, I'd like make it look like a whole like a large body, like in a rug. And then they'd be like, we got you. Like, dude, it's literally I'm literally throwing out a rug. Have a fake ex-girlfriend reach out to him. Uh-huh. You should, that'd be funny. That'd be awesome. That'd be good. And then Balmer like ends up trying to bang her. And then now Pablo's got that on him. Uh-huh. Oh, and the mother's back is just tennis. dumb weekend to do it oh my god the US Open but I gotta do it Sunday and Saturday Saturday women's Robachna Sunday's Verov so it was almost the first US men's grand slam winner since what like 2003 sure like Ben Shelton we haven't done it in a very long time Sampras might have been the last one sounds good Yeah, he wasn't close.

2:51:57PFT Commenter:He wasn't close. Do you see Zverev was so locked in, he didn't even know he won? Yeah. He broke him like three times. The one that I don't understand that I was watching the women's final, that it was Sabalenka versus Robachna, one versus two. They kept saying that no matter what happens in this match, Robachna is going to be the number one when the ranking comes out on Monday. But it's like they're playing against each other. How could you beat? how could you lose to the number one but then still be number one oh makes no sense oh oh and erotic 2003 yeah also taught you're talking about explaining like trying to explain football like it makes no sense if when you really take a step back trying to explain fucking tennis the scoring system makes no sense genuinely you sound like the stupidest person and The scoring system doesn't make sense.

2:52:51You can't explain it in a way that sounds normal. Like, oh, well, no, this game is to 60. It's 1530, whatever.

2:53:00PFT Commenter:Wasn't it by the clock or something? And then you have to, yeah, it makes no sense. Oh, yeah, Zverev also hit on Ben Shelton's girlfriend. Yeah, power move. Trinity Rodman. Trinity Rodman. Yeah. Who's a professional athlete herself. She is.

2:53:17PFT Commenter:All right, that was talking tennis. She seems like a great girlfriend, by the way. Yeah. Like the most supportive girlfriend. Yeah, definitely. Ben Shelton, though. Yeah, he just didn't have it. No. Didn't have it. Ran out of steam. You could see it. Zverev is just a beast. And this is all an asterisk anyway, because Djokovic is too old. Yeah. But if he wasn't old, he would have won. I think we can all agree. Yes. Okay. PFT. Hank took mine, actually, with Balmer. But that's fine. My Who's Back of the Week is going to be the Civil War. Because we had maybe the best hype video that I've ever seen in college football that came out on Friday.

2:53:59It was getting ready for the Kansas-Missouri game. Two teams that used to play, they used to be in the same conference. And it was a game that meant everything every year. And Kansas just dropped a video on Friday that said it's really that deep. and went back through the entire history of why Kansas and Missouri are different states. Yep. And how Missouri used to send people to kill people in Kansas because Kansas wanted no slavery and Missouri wanted slavery. Yep. So they dropped a hype video with Edwin Coppock and John Brown hyping up this game, being like, we hate you because you like slavery, was the message going into it.

2:54:39I love it. Which is a great, that's why we love college football. Exactly. It really is that deep. And then Missouri went out there and proceeded to kick their ass. And even the coach of Missouri said, like, yeah, I was feeling a little extra motivation because of the hype video. Yeah. That they dropped.

2:54:55PFT Commenter:Drinkwits is like, yeah, we wanted to rub it in at the end. Yeah, because you essentially said that we like slavery. So as that might have been the case when the states were initially started up back in the 1800s. Drinkwits took that personally. As you should. You should. You should. But again, I love this dumb sport. Yeah. It's the dumbest sport in the entire world. And I love it. That's what makes college football the best is that this stuff is, like, this is what, of course, they're going to bring up slavery. Why wouldn't they? Because that's probably something that every single fan of Kansas has done in the past on that week when they're playing against Missouri.

2:55:35Like, they probably talk about, oh, yeah, you guys wanted slavery.

2:55:38PFT Commenter:Yeah. I did like Pat Forty, who's a very good writer. and I do like reading his stuff, who covers college football for many, many years. You'd think he would understand how stupid college football fan bases are. He said, when the opportunity arises to manipulate 160-year-old tragic history and apply it to a college football game in 2026, associating one team with slavery in the Confederacy in the process, you probably shouldn't. This is crap. Pat Forty went to Missouri. Okay, there we go. Right. The immediate reply was like, I wonder why, dude. And it was like honored alumni, 1988 Pat Forty. Because it's actually true.

2:56:17PFT Commenter:Like that is why those two states exist separately. Yeah. It's like Pat Forty, your point is not wrong. It's just you can't make it. Yeah. And also like it's college football. Right. Right. It's college football. People are going to be fucking psychos. We had the stripper assassin, right? Pole assassin. Pole assassin came back. That was my other. Yeah. He was back. Pole assassin and her monkey. Like that. That right there is. we got one like one game where we have you know you guys like slavery we don't and then the next one pull assassin comes back after texas wins and beats ohio state her monkey by the way did not bite a child on halloween yeah it very clearly also if it did bite the child there was a note that was on the door saying caution monkey yeah i and also shout out oklahoma state we'll we'll get into it i think we're gonna have the head coach of oklahoma state on uh wednesday's show But that was awesome.

2:57:11PFT Commenter:College football. I mean, Brandon Walker, two years in a row. That was our former college football expert. He picked Oregon. Yeah, that was tough. First pick. That was tough. They got. They got beat back. It's not like Oklahoma State. No. Oklahoma State was the better team. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. All right. My who's back of the week. I got two. The first is we got a big Stell Blue sweepstakes that's going on right now, starting Monday morning at 9 a.m. and we're celebrating football kickoff. We're now live in Target, Circle K, and 7-Eleven across the country. You can go find out which one's closest to you at StellaBlueCoffee.com.

2:57:50PFT Commenter:So there's going to be three grand prize winners. VIP visit to Barstool Sports on a Sunday. Watch ball with us. $500 travel stipend,$500 worth of Stella Blue Coffee. To enter, you just got to fill in the entry form that we'll put on all the social. for that's one entry for two entries you can upload a receipt from target circle k or 7-eleven and for 10 entries you post a picture or video on instagram tiktoker x featuring your stella blue can from circle k 7-eleven or target uh and you'll get 10 entries and we're going to pick some people who come watch ball with us which will be awesome so that'll be really fun appreciate everyone who's buys uh obviously how it works you know when we when we get into these big stores it's really big for Stelblue Coffee and trying to save a bunch of dogs and drink good coffee.

2:58:38PFT Commenter:In order to stay in the stores, we need people to buy them in the stores. So everyone who buys it in the stores, I really, really appreciate it. And hopefully we find some people who want to come watch some ball with us. I will say this. I'm adding this off script. You better bring winners. You better bring winners because you will be asked to bring winners. I don't even know if that's legal, but you got to bring a winner. So if you come watch football with us on Sunday, be loaded with the winner because that'll be the first question that all of us ask you is what's your winner and if you win you're that much closer to getting a job let's just be honest you went from zero percent to ten percent that's true max you know that's true i didn't say you get a job you'd be closer to getting a job ten percent high if you gave us a winner i can't It would have to be a really good winner.

2:59:29PFT Commenter:Yeah. It would have to be a really good winner. My other who's back is Akron football because the offensive coordinator, Marty Wims, who won the award or got to be offensive coordinator, Akron fumbled on the fourth play. Yep. Shame. What was the Shark Wheel thing? Oh, they did score a touchdown with Shark Wheel. That was the head coach. Shout out Akron football. He said, hey, Big Cat said he wanted to see Shark Wheel. We scored on Shark Wheel. So, Joe Moorhead. Shout out Akron Football. What was the guy's name, the coordinator? Marty Wims II. So, besides the fumble, how was the play calling on that drive?

3:00:10PFT Commenter:I think it was good. I think it was going up-tempo. Yeah, you want to play that clip? I think that was Joe Moorhead who was talking. Big Cat. And some big names who were not selected by our Department of Accounting, namely Barstool. Big Cat did hear through the grapevine that in lieu of him winning the contest, that there was one play he wanted to run, Shark Wheel. And incidentally enough, that play is in our playbook. And the first touchdown to Sean Patrick was indeed Shark Wheel. Love it. So shout out Joe Moorhead. Shout out Akron Football. That's really cool. Awesome promotion they ran. Like that was, again, college football is in a weird place overall, but Akron's doing it right.

3:00:53PFT Commenter:That was very fun. So, okay. Finish us off. Zach. My who's back of the week this week is going to be the Kachuk brothers. They went to the University of Miami, Florida A &M game, and they kind of did this a solid, boys, because typically we think that professional athletes are just great at every sport and they can do no wrong. And they put some good tape out there for us, throwing the football around. Matthew Kachuk may have thrown a football for the first time in his life the other day. It was such a funny throwing motion. Yeah, listen. Since athletes, you can be great at one sport and not great at others.

3:01:24I think we learned that several times last week. But from who? Just all over the map. All over the map. Like you're a really good kicker, but not good at golf.

3:01:36PFT Commenter:Yeah, something like that. Yeah, we got to talk to Matthew. That was tough. Here's the thing, though. Hockey players are terrible at every other sport besides golf. But here's the thing. Hockey players playing basketball is comedy. The other side of it, though, did you see Kevin Durant? Yeah. It was so smooth. On a rope. Kevin Durant has motion. He looked awesome throwing a football. Does Kevin Durant have eligibility? I mean, listen. One year, yeah. He was making one-hand catches, just a perfect spiral, just effortless. That is actually really impressive when a guy who doesn't play this cross sport, you can look really dumb.

3:02:19PFT Commenter:Kevin Durant looked really good throwing that football. Bang. Just perfect. Is that too tall to be a quarterback? Yeah, probably. He's a perfect quarterback. Yeah, I think perfect memes. I agree. Someone did comment right away. They're like, that throw, he's too tall. It would sail over everyone. Hospital passes. Okay, it's not that serious. But it is. I think. Give him a shot. Yeah. Give him a shot. All right, you got another one, Zach? Was that it? We covered a bunch of them, but I can pivot. Ryan Garcia had a tough last year, but he defended his welterweight title with a super-rushed TKO in the second round the other day.

3:02:57PFT Commenter:Okay. Okay. Good for him. Good job, guys. First football Sunday in the books. Feels good to be back. Feels really good to be back. Feels good to be the – hey, shout out to 1-0 club. Feels good. Anyone listening? 1-0. Week one is fun when you win. Sucks when you lose. A lot of 0-1 teams are going to be ranked ahead of some 1-0 teams. The power rankings. Doubt it. Not mine. It's just week one. Stay strong. Also, farting is back because actually we did a good job eating today. But farting is definitely back. We had a great healthy week one. All right, numbers. Zero. Three. I was going to go. Five.

3:03:45Five. Eight. Five. Five. Yeah. 88. I'll go with two. Isn't it nice when your quarterback throws beyond the sticks? Didn't have that last year.

3:04:02They were afraid to throw for first downs.

3:04:0730. 69. 40. Makeup 40. Colton 69. Shane sick. Shane sick.

3:04:29PFT Commenter:33. 33. I was throwing one back, yeah. Shout out Colton. Shout out Colton. 1-0 club. 1-0. 1-0 club. Sick overall. Best outfit. Look at that. Colton, shout out Colton. Say something about the Cardinals. Things are really looking up. You know, if anything's possible, no matter where you are in life, if you show up every day and you suck life's dick, one day life might eat your ass. Oh, nice. All right. That's the Cardinals fan right there. Banger. Card up. Rise up, Red Sea. We got to put that on a quote. Shane's scared of you. Shane is scared of you. I'll give you a comment to Shane. Do you have anything to say to him?

3:05:08Keep believing, Shane. You might get your ass ate.

3:05:11PFT Commenter:Maybe if you limit the false stars.

3:05:24PFT Commenter:26. 26. 26. Happy birthday to Roger Bennett and Deshaun Watson. No Two all-star What's up memes? No Deshaun Watson Happy birthday Happy birthday Bad birthday Treat yourself Something nice Deshaun Happy birthday to Jimmy Butler Jay Butt Jay Butt Happy birthday to Mook Happy birthday to Terry McLaurin Pete Carroll Former coach of the Seattle Seahawks New England Patriots USC And that's all I can remember Happy birthday to Marshall Yanda happy birthday to Dan Marino happy birthday to Gaylord Perry hilarious name happy birthday to Prince Harry happy birthday to Jenna Marbles happy birthday to Michael not Mike, Michael Malone love you guys

3:06:33Thank you.

3:07:04Thank you.

3:07:35Thank you.

3:08:08Thank you.