⚽ A story for another time...⚽

21:09Good line. Good line. And I just sort of thought, well, no offence to Hull, but if you do live in London, you don't want to be in a Hull game.

21:18Josh Widdicombe:Well, this comes down to a lot of the Plymouth fans talk about, Rob. Go on. that the TV don't give it, we don't get enough games because the TV can't be bothered to come to Plymouth. No, I think it's because Plymouth are shit. And if they're in the Premier League, they'd get more games. No, no. When the League 1s are doled out. Oh, yeah. Oh, the League 1 games. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They want to go to Leighton Orient. Of course they bloody do. Yeah. But they won't come down to Plymouth on a Tuesday night. You forget this, that we think it's a really glorious job, but the people that get the kind of B games, I'm not saying whole menu is a B game, but like, no, that's a game.

22:01Josh Widdicombe:Like, and I don't think this is unfair, but you, you've got the, the A list player, you get the A list pundits. Leeds Fulham on a Tuesday night. Yeah. If you're gutted and you're driving yourself, presumably up to Leeds and then it's 10 PM. And you have to stand in front of the Leeds fans or, or the Fulham fans at Charnet, you're a wanker. Yeah, and you're like, I thought, I've had such a better football career than Mika Richards, and now he's getting all the good games. And I'm fucking here. I played like... You won a Champions League. I won a Champions League. He ripped him nothing. But now...

22:41He played for Fiorentina for 17 minutes. Now, here I am in Leeds.

22:51This episode is brought to you by Didi's Discounts. Back to school season is officially here and Didi's has everything on your list. I'm talking bold styles, cool kicks, backpacks, and even dorm room essentials. All the prices that won't hurt your wallet. So don't sleep on Didi's. Whether you've got a second grader or a sophomore, Didi's has your whole family covered. Find Aditi's discount store near you and go check it out today.

23:42and every decade. Learn more at drinkag1.com.

24:12Josh Widdicombe:The Dog Stars, directed by Ridley Scott, in theatres August 28th. Get tickets now. Rated R. Under 17, not a minute, without parents.

24:23Well, other things that went on. West Ham lost. That's quite funny. Oh, so funny. So funny.

24:29Josh Widdicombe:Away to Charlton. London Derby. Now, I'm going to be working with Danny Dyer for the next few months. So, but... Are you? Oh, daughter Danny. Daughter Danny. I'm in a Nick Love film. Did you not know that? he was in Rise of the Foot Soldier 26 you're playing Larry the Slag aren't you but it is quite funny that like it's funny that West Ham I don't think there's anyone in the country you know when they say I just don't believe except West Ham fans there's anyone in the country that doesn't want them to fail I mean yeah because if a big team like West Ham are get relegated any self-respecting football fan wants them to get relegated again yeah of course that's funny And that's not a dig at West Ham.

25:14If it was Leeds or Arsenal.

25:17Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, anyone. And you know when people go, I like to see West Ham, I want to see West Ham in the Premier League. No, I don't.

25:28Josh Widdicombe:If you said to me. I would love them to go down. National League immediately. Yeah. Oh, but the Premier League won't be the same without Arsenal. Fucking hell. Come on. It'd be brilliant if they went down. I'm sure it'll cope. Yeah, I'll be fine. I won't forget it in a minute. So West Ham are rubbish at the moment. Yeah, great, great. What else have we got here? Now, one thing I wanted to talk about, I tried to watch Match of the Day. Yeah. But it was on at 20 past 10. Yeah. It's a bit late for a man with kids. So I thought, do you know what I'll do is, I'm in Centre Parts. We're going to get up early.

26:00We've booked the swimming. We've got jet skis in the swimming pool at 8.40. So we've got an early start. Yeah, don't you worry about that. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about that on parenting now. I'll watch it early. Because in my head, I swear, match of the day was like 7am. Because that makes sense, doesn't it? Yeah. 8.40. It's too late. Too late. Can't you watch it on iPlayer? Well, no. Good point, actually. Can you? You want it if you want. I don't know. Is it any more time you want? Yeah. You can watch match of the day when you want. Yeah, but I just think you should be earlier on a Sunday.

26:33Yeah, I agree. If you've missed it the night before, you're up from seven. Bang it on at seven. Yeah, exactly. You're jet skiing before, you know it?

26:40Josh Widdicombe:oh no exactly exactly did you watch back to the day uh no because i i went either so let's not let's not borrow back excuses we're just doing a football podcast and i watched three minutes valentineers punditry on on the toilet his polo shirt was too thick did you for august you see it's like a cable knitting of christmasy rob i've been in that room they i can't tell you how this is a salford salford salford yeah have you been in the room they do it in so this is where they do eight out of ten cats does countdown yeah i've never been in the room but i always know that that's happening near yeah i've not been in there what's it like in there it's just a green room it's just a small green room it's just so so like right yeah of course of course there's sat there there's no windows it's all green there's three cameras and they can't see what's behind them until it's on the telly kind of they can't see what's behind them at all yeah because it's all green it's all green because it could be football focus or it couldn't anymore but i feel like green screen was a thing that was massive about 15 years ago and it feels a bit like match of the day when guys this is the future yeah it has to be green screen i know because it wouldn't be a problem to just do you know i often think with this stuff you know like when the players walk out on match of the day you know like when they they're talking about a player and he'll appear as a kind of thing behind them or whatever on the side but when they're talking about a player and he's there like with his arms crossed and he shows their stats like that in 10 years we're gonna go that's the shittest thing that ever happened that's just so shit but then alan shears sat there with his christmas polo shirt on behind a green screen in front of a green screen do you think that's and he's driven to Manchester for that I know so he drives to Manchester on a Saturday to sit in front of a green screen to talk about the football in a polo shirt that was a present for his birthday when was his birthday let's get that detail just to check if it was recent have you checked in your fantasy league team by the way oh here you go Rob Alan Shira's birthday was 10 days ago that's a present that's a present that's a present You know what?

29:00I'll bang it out early doors because they've gone, that'll be nice for your match of the day. That is definitely a present, isn't it? If you know Alan Shearer or if you are Alan Shearer, if that was a present, let us know. It screams present, doesn't it? It does. And he's thought, I'll bang it out in the first one. There's no way on match of the day, of course, yeah.

29:16Josh Widdicombe:It's August. Who's wearing that in August?

29:23Spurs are shit. Now, can I talk about Spurs lost 3-0 to Brentford? Yeah. Big up my goalkeeper, one of the blonde boys that kept a clean sheet. Now, can I talk about something? This may upset Spurs fans. Yeah. People go, Jamie O 'Hara is the worst for this. Spurs are back. They're so back, right? They've just spent lots of money. Well, no, as in they're going to – well, they've said it the last couple of years that they're going to be top six or top four again. Now, in my experience, I'm saying this seriously, and I'm not trying to do this to rage bait anyone. in my opinion apart from the last sort of like harry kane years sort of the last not the last two years for it maybe so forget that there was about a five six year period where they had harry kane potch and son and they did quite well and got top four apart from that in my living memory they've always been absolute shite they had one maybe two years with gareth bale and harry redknapp but then that was sort of yeah that flash in the pan they got in the champions league didn't they Klinsman turned up for it, but they've always been sort of, in my living memory, mid-table.

30:27I would say, and this isn't trying to rage, right?

30:31Josh Widdicombe:Go on. Like, if we take out the fact that they won the double in 1961, which I don't think is... I don't think you can take that out. Not now, not in 2026. You've got to leave that in.

30:44Right.

30:45Josh Widdicombe:Yes, they won the double. You've got to respect the pre-Premier League years. So they won the problem in 1961. one yeah absolutely i don't think in my lifetime if you you know in our head we've all got like an average position for a team i would say spurs average position is eighth 100 percent eight to ten that's it and then they had a few years of going beyond that and then drop it again that's another team i'll give you their average where they should finish okay um aston villa aston villa But they're 12th. Oh, okay. I'd go six or seven. No, because they had the down, didn't they? Yeah, they've come back again.

31:25Do you want another team?

31:26Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, go on. Everton. Everton, they're another one who are constantly back, but really, they're 15th. Yeah, I was going to say 15th. They're constantly back, but they're not. I think Everton fans have got a bit more humiliated, but I think the Tottenham fans got so swept up in the pot, cheer are that they go with back but actually Tottenham being back is eighth and you've just got to move on from that double in 1961 okay next next um oh did you see this this is a little bit left left field um I don't know who he played for but he used to play for Newport County and he scored against them for his new club Bobby Kamwa right and he ran the length of the pitch to celebrate in front of the away fans he did add a buy or yeah and you know what I loved it and you You know what I love even more than that is, you know, when like commentators go, oh, it's a shame to see that.

32:19No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not. No, it's not. That's all we want to see. Ideally, a full fight as well. Yeah, of course. A full fight with punches and a 10-game ban, please.

32:28Josh Widdicombe:I think, you know, I think the worst thing sports coverage can ever do is cut away from a pitch invasion. I hate that. Streakers. I love it. you've got to stay on that and B we do want we do want to see a fight we absolutely do when it's after the match you can't be cutting away from that that's what we're here for that's the Bristol Rovers he plays for Bobby Kammer so respect to Bobby Kammer the Gasheads I don't know Michael check well they're the Pirate they're also known as the Gasheads I think this is good if you've got any great ex-player stories yeah when they've come back stuff they've done especially in the lower leagues that may not have been covered.

33:14Because obviously the Premier League is a bit biased on coverage. If any lower league ex-player stuff happened, let us know. The gas they're called. The gas. They're called the gas. Email into footlandhillpodcast at gmail.com. But big up Bobby Camar for celebrating in front of... I mean, I'm an Arsenal fan. I love what Adi Boyle does. So who was in Newport County?

33:33Josh Widdicombe:What I like about that as well, I suppose there's a slight Bristol-Newport County regional rivalry to an extent. But they're not classic rivals. but I just wouldn't think that would be such a, because I, I presume you feel the same. What do you think about players that don't celebrate against their old club? I think if they've been there for years and years, like Lampard or, you know, like I get it. We know when he scored against Chelsea, Man City, cause it's like, but when they've like played a season, if I played for a club and then I scored against them, I'd be, if I, well, if I put it into my career, right?

34:10Say I had a TV show cancelled, right? Say I was on the BBC, had a show cancelled, and then I won a BAFTA for the ITV show that I was on. Would you run the link to Royal Albert Hall? Yeah, and I'll knee slide in front of the commissioners of the BBC. If that was a genuine possibility of the physics of that, then yeah. Wouldn't you? Yeah.

34:35Josh Widdicombe:It would be great. Yeah, totally. I would. I think you've just got to. I don't think I can knee slide though no, do you know what, I've never really fancied it, it's the thought of like hitting a twig or something I mean you're not going to hit a twig on a major foot how fit do you have to be to get away with a knee slide and not break everything, because the thought of me knee sliding now, even on like just actual like guaranteed sludge, I'd struggle with the idea of it, I genuinely think my legs would explode you start a wildfire mate there'll be an emergency alert What would be, here's a question for you.

35:14Josh Widdicombe:Go on. Rob Beckett, right? Yeah. If you're as good as Lionel Messi. Yeah? Yeah. Talk me through your club career from the age of 16 to 38 when you retire. Are you a one club man? Are you as good as Messi? So you're as good as Messi. You can start, where would you like to start? When are you moving? Where would you like to end? So I think I'd like to break. And what year were you 16? So we want to get a feeling on the year. So I'm Rooney's age. Right. So I'm breaking through when Rooney's breaking through. Okay, cool. This is what I'm doing. I'm doing two years at Crystal Palace. Yeah. I play for them at 15.

35:54Yeah? Yeah. I have two seasons from 16 to 18. Yeah. Move to Arsenal. Yeah. Then I do a few years at Arsenal, four years at Arsenal. So I'm 22. 22, yeah. Then I go to, now, I'll go Rio Madrid, I think. Yeah. I'll go Rio Madrid. You're a Galactico. I'll do a long, I'll do a long.

36:18Josh Widdicombe:Height of them or maybe just after the height of the Galactico. Yeah, so, yeah, I'll be there. I'll be, yeah, I'll be at Galactico with Beckham and that lot. And I'm basically up front the rail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do a few years there. Then I'm, to be honest, I'm sort of a little bit side straddling Beckham. Yeah. Because I'm going from there to, I'm doing Bayern Munich, actually. Are you? I'm going Bayern Munich. Yeah. To be loved there. I'd love to win the league and have those massive pints. Oh, yeah. You know, the massive pints. It's probably under Pep as well by this point. Yeah. And I'd have Lederhosen on.

36:51I'd fit the aesthetic. I'd be great. Lovely. Then I'm slipping over to Italy. Yeah. To do, I mean, Beckham was at 80, man. So I might go Juventus. Yeah. A few years there. I mean, I don't know.

37:06Josh Widdicombe:I'm trying around it. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I've not even touched. Then I go PSG. Yeah. Then I go Crystal Palace again. Oh, tearful homecoming. Finish there at 40. Then I go to America. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then I do Orlando so I can go Disney.

37:31What a career, though.

37:32Josh Widdicombe:What a career. Can you imagine it? And are you sticking with Lou or are you going for a different wife? No, I'll have Lou, but because of my position as a footballer, I'll have numerous mistresses. I think it's like being in the mafia. And Lou would understand because I'm just a jobbing comic podcaster. You know, no one wants it. But when you're a footballer, you know, you're knee deep in it. And I'll go, look, Lou, I love you. You're the main, but I've got a couple of, you know. Come on. The boys would absolutely hang me out to dry if I didn't. Yeah, exactly. I've got to be part of the group to succeed.

38:05You can't win a Ballon d 'Or with one wife. So Lou would understand. And then I'd knock that on the edge once I got back to Crystal Palace and go, look, I'm 40 now. Let's crack on in Orlando, just me, you and the kids. Yeah, okay. And before I know it, one of my exes is on Celebs on the Farm wanking off a pig, and I'm like, oh, God, nightmare. Not ideal.

38:25Josh Widdicombe:Not ideal, but, you know, we play the cards with doubt. That's life. That's life, isn't it? That's life. Okay. So we got to Tottenham being rubbish. Funny. Oh, can I ask about Deserby? Because they lost to Brentford. Brentford's manager, whose name escapes me, he's a very good Irish guy, who's done a very good job there. We should find it. Michael, can you find that out, please? Michael will know it, won't he? Keith Andrews. Keith Andrews, yeah. Keith Andrews. He's doing a great job at Brentford, but then so was Thomas Frank, so was Iriola at Bournemouth, so was Deserby at Brighton is it possible for a manager to leave the three boring B's and be a success at a bigger club well I mean the madness for Tottenham is and it does feel like a self-fulfilling prophecy of this Spurs-y thing is last season they took the most successful manager Brentford's ever had and then he nearly got them relegated and then they've gone back to Brentford after spending 200 million and it's the first manager they've backed in years and then they've gone back to brentford who had to rebuild after losing the most successful managers and then lost them three nil and brentford to be honest it didn't even touch the size losing thomas frank well that's sangha whoever he is that he's i think he's from marley that he was unbelievable and he cost like 35 39 million and so what's happening in football if you're spending like silly money on tonali who's good don't get me wrong but how's that fella slip through the net I know it's weird I don't understand Have you heard about rumour?

39:58I don't know if this is true or not But Tottenham are buying Savinho and Marmouche But Marmouche is 59 million And Savinho Is like 85 million But I think what potentially I think if Marmouche Is sold for more than 60 million his old club Gets a bonus Right oh I see You see what I'm saying here? So essentially

40:21Josh Widdicombe:Do you know what I'm saying? No. Hiring Ant and Deck, but paying Ant loads. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if you pay Deck any more than you should do, he's going to have to give ITV a tickle.

40:39Josh Widdicombe:So we're enjoying Tottenham being rubbish. That's fun. It's just great. I thought the penalty was harsh for Newcastle, Liverpool. No. That was harsh. I mean, did you think it? Yeah. Lewis Hall's lost weight as well. He's got World Trib. I thought it was a bit harsh because he didn't really move his leg that much. The geezer ran into his leg. Yeah, but... I don't know what the rule is, though, to be honest. No, neither do I. His leg was there. They seemed to bang and punch into each other and he fell over. I quite fancy Slobber Sly. I think he's good looking. I'd fuck him. Come to my head. Sure.

41:20Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. I think if I was to sleep with a footballer, he'd be up there. he loves himself though but I think he'd be I think he smells good takes care of himself and he treats you well yeah he does I feel like he loves himself a lot can I be the first to say this Rob I think pundits need to stop saying how good Florian Verde is because maybe he's just not because he's not doing anything good he's been over a year now but we've been told he's not playing well but he is good maybe he's not good how about you it's your good mate Why don't you play good? Yeah, because I'm so bored and you're good. And also, I know you've moved club, but it's still football.

42:01We've not put you on a cricket team. You should watch him play football.

42:07Josh Widdicombe:What's going on? Why is everyone saying he's so good? It's not being good. I thought we'd talk about football. All I really want to talk about is pundits. Yeah, go on. I just find them more fascinating than the game. Totally. They constantly have to say stuff, but also hamstrung by not wanting to piss off their ex-club, also not wanting to piss off the league or their employer. I bet Gary Neville and Roy Keane and that lot are like, oh God, we had the whole thing with Solskjaer where we couldn't say anything. Now we're back in the same fucking position again with Carrick. Oh God. Imagine the situation now, Josh, right?

42:49Yeah. For example, Jane Tacaster and Romesh are the manager and assistant manager at Tottenham. Yeah. What would have to go, oh, you know, it's a tough away game, no, isn't it, Brentford? Yeah. The team needs time to settle. They've got a lot of new players coming. Because you couldn't, they're our mates. I can't. No, exactly. Because also, it's beyond like, oh, you know, it's a professional thing. Like, you think, oh, no, my mate rung me the other day, bit down in the dumps. I can't just hammer him on the...

43:23Josh Widdicombe:Because SoulScale's probably in WhatsApp groups with Gary Neville. Like, there's, like, a situation there. So it's just like an awkward Carrick's getting hammered. Jesus, yeah, like, oh, fucking hell. Like, John O'Shea's getting married, and I'm going to be on his table, aren't I?

43:45Where's Brown set up a GoFundMe? Oh, no, we're all on there. God.

43:57This episode is brought to you by DeeDee's Discounts. Back to School season is officially here, and DeeDee's has everything on your list. I'm talking bold styles, cool kicks, backpacks, and even dorm room essentials. All the prices that won't hurt your wallet. So don't sleep on DeeDee's. Whether you've got a second grader or a sophomore, DeeDee's has your whole family covered. Find Aditi's discount store near you and go check it out today.

44:48and every decade. Learn more at drinkag1.com.

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45:28Josh Widdicombe:Well, I think it would be better if they just said, do you know what? Rather than pretend, they just need to go, this is far too awkward. This is too awkward. I know him. Like, can you ask me that? I can't possibly. You know, like when someone says about your mate, they'll go, he's a bit of a dick and you go, well, he's my mate. I don't want to say anything. It's a good guy, but obviously stuff's not gone right at the moment, but it's not fair. He's my mate. I'm not going to say anything. You take him how you find him. You take Michael Carrick how you find him. Okay. He's my good friend. Yeah, but it's Monday night football, Gary.

46:09I know, but he's my friend. Yeah. Yeah.

46:15Josh Widdicombe:Michael. Michael, So let's speak to Michael. because he is a Man United fan. And also then let's get into Richard Keyes and Andy Gray because I think that needs to be discussed. Yeah. Okay, go on. How do you feel about the start of the season? Barcelona are 1-0 up against Elche. Let's draw the line at Europe. Let's draw the line. They can't be called Elche. Elche. Rodri? Elche. Elche. We've got to keep an eye on Jude Bellingham as well, see what he's up to. Oh, yeah. I enjoyed Mourinho winning his first game in the last minute. That was fun. oh we've got to talk about Pep Guardiola's documentary as well Michael talk to us about Man United we'll do Pep Guardiola then Keys and Grey okay what would you like to know and then have we got any letters emails we've got lots of emails yeah but we won't need them for this episode so it's up to you sorry is this episode coming in because we love them I'm aware I'm over excited and slightly pissed I haven't even I haven't even I just asked if we got any there's a good one here hello Rob it's hard to work out which channels the football is on I agree I use www.live-footballontv.com.

47:20It tells the live channel that any football game is on in the UK. Very useful. Obviously not all games are tellised. Thank you, Jacob. Michael, Michael Carrick and Manion I had talked to me.

47:29Josh Widdicombe:I think it was the wrong appointment. I think a decision can be right and wrong at the same time. It was difficult not to give him the job, but there's no way it was going to work. I think they had to go through it. Those players that are too in awe of Fergie as well that go back, it's pathetic. Oh, they have to ring him to make a sub. Yeah. Can I say one thing about the whole United game that you missed? Yeah. Which is the clip of the whole fans doing that weird, like mauled by the Tigers thing. Oh, I don't like that. I would genuinely rather get relegated as a Manchester United fan than have to do that in the stands after a victory.

48:05Josh Widdicombe:That's awful. It's the worst thing I've ever seen. It's awful. Is that new? So they do this. They get their hands like a Tiger's claws and go, you're getting mauled by the tigers god it's so lame it's so i don't mind the chant it's the hands is too much in it i also think by the tiger why are they whole tigers anyway what's that what i tell you what you're getting sat on by the chair boys sat on by the chair boys you're getting sat on by the chair boys gassed by the gas you're getting too much oh this is good can i just read this and then we'll just to show we're getting lots of emails yeah that is funny someone's shown us the spot of thank you to james from bath who's um who sent us the spotify captions and throughout it said that we were referring to neil walnut's head walnuts walnut yeah um rob someone i have a message for you this is a while but it didn't really fit into your parenting podcast however now you have a football cup podcast the stars have aligned i've been playing championship manager 0102 since easter what a game i've just started my 17th year as plymouth argyle manager here we go a couple of seasons back look what regeneration name came in and also he plays for robert beckett goalkeeper at arsenal goalkeeper five for eight goalkeeper you've got to send it are you sending it that's from ian in plymouth thank you to ian in plymouth that is is he any good in goal.

49:38He's got four England caps. Well, come on. Michael Ricketts played for England.

49:47We're making a lot of enemies on this show. We are, aren't we? I don't give a fuck. I tried to sign him several times.

49:53Josh Widdicombe:However, his love for Arsenal is as strong in the game as it is in real life. You're a good goalkeeper. Handling 20 out of 20. Influence. 20 out of 20. Look at that. Finishing 3B as a keeper. Teamwork won. It's not wrong. Ah, it's bang on the money.

50:12Who created that game? Nostradamus. All right, talk to me about Keys and Gray. Right. Have you watched it, Michael? There's so much to unpack. Now, for people, I'm aware that we've got a lot of Pering and Hell listeners that maybe not football is their first choice of a hobby. Keys and Gray, quick background, they used to be the main presenters on Premier League on Sky Sports. When it first got launched, they were massive megastars. Keys was the presenter. Andy Gray was his right-hand man, ex-player. They got sacked eventually for being recorded saying quite disparaging remarks about female referee assistants, some sexist overtones.

50:48Yeah. They got sacked. And then within getting sacked, within a couple of years, went to Qatar to earn an absolute fortune in the Middle East. So I've never known, and Gray isn't as bad as keys for this. No. anyone to have been cancelled that has led on to such a lucrative job to be so bitter. Yeah, yeah. Bitter about everything. They've started a new podcast because they're contract... Outwardly bitter as well. The contract in Qatar's ended, so they're back in the UK with Keys and Grey Unleashed. It's them two talking about football.

51:20Josh Widdicombe:With a bottle of wine outside London Bridge. Yeah, like the Tower Bridge. Tower Bridge, sorry. Bottle of champagne, talking about football. Now, my big two things are the bitterness, two, the shit jokes, and three, the unreasonable rednap hatred. And finally, the thing that annoys me the most is Richard Keyes has walked into Zara and taken every single baseball cap off of every single mannequin and has got a pastel-coloured baseball cap that he wears on every episode and he looks insane. and he's top he looks like he's got a job at some sort of like sort of software company in california and he's floating around in pastel tops and a cap that he wears no matter what like on the show he wore it for the photo shoot i know i'm wearing a cap now because my hair's he wore it in the photo shoot it's like the hat's the thing yeah and then it's so obsessed with it He starts with Richard Keyes doing some observational about what the best cups are.

52:27Josh Widdicombe:And then he talked. I mean, there's a great bit where he talks about Eamon Holmes, going for breakfast with Eamon Holmes. He goes, out of nowhere. He goes, yeah, because I was having breakfast with Eamon Holmes. And I was like, right, how can that be the middle of a sentence? Surely it's the start and then the story begins. I don't care about it. If you tell me you've recently gone for breakfast with Eamon Holmes, I don't want to hear anything else other than a full debrief of that Do you know what? I think they've got the same problem with their podcast as we have with ours. They did about 35 minutes of stuff that I would describe as gold and then they started talking about the actual games and I was like no, not interested, don't care Yeah Totally agree I just want you talking about how you know someone that thinks that Infantino is not going to make it like you're like you're a fucking spy did you um see them the the instagram clip of them going into the offices of their podcast so good doing a joke about bruce forsyth yes so they walk in and they say to an older guy who's probably the podcast producer yeah and i don't know if you notice this there's a young other guy that works there that covered his face when they walked in he saw the pastel colored zara cap and covered his own face going look mate i'm I'm a videographer.

53:45I don't need this shit. I'm just trying to get a day rate. I don't need everyone to know I'm in deep with these lot. And they go, how old is Bruce Forsyth when he died? And the older bloke's gone, 84. And they go, higher, higher. Everyone in the room is in complete disbelief this is happening. Keys in grey, burst into the biggest laugh I've ever seen and walk out. High-fiving. Bruce Forsyth has been dead nearly 10 years. Yeah. Higher or lower, the price is right hasn't been on telly for 25 in its full glory. I don't think.

54:25Josh Widdicombe:What the fuck? Can we, and I think we're not people in glass houses here, take a minute to say they've got too many staff on their podcast. It's in their office. The office is huge. I know we've gone too far the other way. Josh, I'm sat in Centre Parks with a duvet over me with Mikey Oh man But I loved it I think they'll calm down They're quite engaging people to watch Gray actually seems quite chilled but Keys is the angry one Gray just looks like he's quite happy to just be at home chilling Keys Gray's like, I've been cleaning up in Qatar for a decade here mate They're the only people to get cancelled to earn more money.

55:12Josh Widdicombe:It's wild. Good on them. It's great. I can't wait. I'm a big fan of the pod. Yeah, big fan of it. If they want to... I'd love it if they started slagging us. I'd fucking love it. Absolutely. I'd love... I'm desperate for a podcast beef. To start a podcast beef with Keys and Grey. Well, Keys. I tried to rule Stuart on the other... Yeah, but he doesn't know who we are. He didn't know who we are. He weren't biting. He don't know who I am. No. Right. How's your fantasy league getting on the fantasy Premier League thing? Don't mean either. Is there a Monday game? Or is that the end of the week? Josh, come on.

55:45Josh, let's at least pretend. Yeah, Fulham, Chelsea. Come on, at least let's pretend.

55:48Josh Widdicombe:Who cares? Southwest London derby isn't a thing. No, but if Fulham beat Chelsea, we'd be all over it. I've got Bromboy in that. Smith Rowe. Smith Rowe, of course. I've got 28 points. Oh, that's not good enough, is it? Is it still, Michael, that in my day when I used to play it, I've got 28 points as well. you're looking at 50 points for a week for a good week is that right Michael it will tell you in the app the average score for that week so you can sort of see how you've done against so if you're above it obviously you're doing well 36 so far 36 someone's got 114 the winner at the moment top of the league is one two three his name is his team's one called one two three and his name's Felix Cherry Phil's fake is that a real person I can't work out he's got so many points what's the fuck he's got eight years it's not heading up they've used their bench boosts their players on the bench have scored as well what's the bench boost you get bonus chips that you can use throughout the season one of which is bench boost so your players on the bench score oh we had sangari on the bench he's boosted him up keep it pure that's what i say um yeah pick your team never change it that's what i do so i'm i'm to michael i can't work out so in the premier the the Football and Parenting Hill League.

57:04I'm 3 ,343rd, but can you see how many people in that league? How many people in the league?

57:10Josh Widdicombe:Let me see if I can look. I don't believe I can. I can only see my position. Because I can scroll. It takes too long to scroll down. So big up to Felix Cherry. Oh, is he in our league? This is, we can't speak. This can't be the podcast, can it? No. It's tailed off. It's got a four keys and grey. Right, okay. thank you for emails keep them coming in we'll do more emails next time thank you for everyone by the way who replied and said I don't like football but I can't wait to listen to this tell people that do like football and follow it on Instagram follow it on Instagram because we'll be putting up clips and we'll put up the Man United managers looking sad thanks guys and also yeah this one's been a bit chaotic but we because we did the podcast no but this this is unacceptable I'm off I've got half a pint at the sports plaza at the centre parks here.

58:05There's a munch jack deer at the window. Like this was because we did decide to do this last minute. I couldn't change the sitch.

58:12Josh Widdicombe:Oh, I think it's been a great one. And I look forward to next week. Next week we'll be discussing. Oh, what have we got next week, Rob? Plymouth and Bradford. Palace v Man City. Liverpool Forest. That's quite a good fixture because it feels old and... No. What else is coming up? Chelsea, Bryan. Don't worry about it. they still got going who cares do you know what Rob there's no good fixtures next week where are Arsenal oh no are you playing in that stupid thing where you have to play it's not international break yet is it no you didn't win a European trophy so who what's that's already happened they're playing on Monday it's Arsenal Villa on Monday night fucking hell we didn't even talk about Villa losing 4-0 oh that was bad was it piece of shit they've got no players they've got no money because of some sort of financial thing that Michael knows about that we don't but he's not allowed to speak so we won't find out about it See you next week.

59:01Bye.