⚽ El Snapico: Mourinho and the Real Madrid printer ⚽

22:28Josh Widdicombe:Do you know what I should ask? You know I'm pals with Darren Cairn. Who? He was Howard Webb's assistant. So these are all your new showbiz mates now you're on Strictly? Oh, you've changed. Falling out of the Met Bar with Darren Kan. Robin Shodders falling out of the PGMOL canteen with Howard Kan. What's his name? Darren Kan. Sorry. He comes to see me on tour. He's a Josh Whittaker mega fan. Lovely. He is the guy that does the... He sits with the pundits on Match of the Day. Oh, okay, yeah. Like, talks to them. And just basically lies and backs up all his mates whilst the pundits lie and back up all their mates.

23:13Here we go. I think Michael Carrick needs more time. I think the ref made a really good decision. Stop wanking each other, Ross, and tell us the truth. You big green screen bastards. You big green screen. You're all tired and sad in Manchester. You've been there 14 hours.

23:28Josh Widdicombe:Can we get on to Michael Carrick? Again, let's save the Spurs bash until later on, because it is hilarious. Yeah, we need to get Bill on the phone. Arsenal lost as well, so, you know, fair. Did we go too early when we decided Arsenal were going to win the league the Friday night of the first weekend. Absolutely not. Everyone has a bad day at the office. Brighton are a good side. But apparently Arsenal were dog shit. Absolute dog shit. What do you think of those Brighton shirts? I like them. It's nice. I like an anniversary shirt. Why don't you get one for Rose? It is our anniversary today. Is it?

24:00Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. Seven years. What are you going to get? We're going for dinner tonight. No. Have you bought anything? Well, can I be honest? It's been quite a stressful week for both of us, which we'll cover in Parenting Hell. Okay. I got her a card, but I forgot to write in it. And she forgot to get me a card. Fucking hell. Well, yeah, there's a lot that's gone on this week, isn't it? That's like the story of two people in an old people's home at 87. We'll cover it in parenting hell. We'll cover it in parenting hell. Right, so what are we talking about? Can I say where I think I am with Michael Carrick?

24:32What are we talking about? Darren Cannes for a little bit.

24:34Josh Widdicombe:You're just friends with him. Oh, yeah, but we've moved into Michael Carrick. No, but if we ever need to talk to a ref, I've got Darren Cannes on Speed, though. I didn't watch any football on Sunday. I watched Tottenham on Saturday. I watched Manchester United v Fulham second half. I avoided match of the day because, so this is my problem with football, right? Yeah. When Arsenal win, I'll watch match of the day. Yeah, of course. If Tottenham and Man United or Chelsea lose, I'll watch match of the day. If Arsenal lose and then Man City and teams that I don't like win, I just don't watch match of the day.

25:05Josh Widdicombe:I can't believe people that watch highlights of games that didn't go the way they wanted. Oh, it's insane. forget about it and move on you might as well read a bad review do you know what I mean of yourself I don't know where that's come from we'll cover that in Perrin and Hell we'll cover that in Perrin and Hell let's go back to Michael Carrick a man who to be fair is getting the press I imagined I'd get Michael Carrick would be going this is unbelievable oh good this is gone let's have a look at the league apparently they were terrible and then got really lucky with a win. Is that right? Gary Neville said the 15 minutes before Fulham scored was the worst he's seen Manchester United play since he started supporting them at the age of five.

25:52I mean, and he's saying that about a mate. Can you imagine if I said, look, I watched Romesh on WikisLink. The first five questions were the worst display of quiz mastery I've seen since I was five years old. Romo should ring me and go, what the fuck are you on, mate? Shut up. Who cares? Fucking leave me alone, you nutcase. What is wrong with you? You're insane. I know it's football, it's a quiz, it's work, but I'm your mate.

26:27Josh Widdicombe:Shut up. This is my theory, Rob. I don't know this. They're not mates. I think what's clear is that Gary Neville was definitely closer to Olican and Solskjaer than Michael Carrick. I think... I think that is coming out. I'm not saying they're not mates, but he's not got... I think with Solskjaer, they were really close, weren't they? So that's like me having to go at Ed Gamble. Yeah, exactly. I know him, but he's not... How much did they cross over, Michael? Was Neville in that... I don't think he was. He wasn't in that team that won the Champions League in 2009, was he? No. No. So that's the team I imagine Carrick being in.

27:06He's not won the Champions League twice. Neville did win the Champions League twice. He was in that team. Fuck! What? Respect. Take that back. Fair play, yeah. Fair play, too. Well done, G-Nev. Carrick, how was it? Is it bad?

27:18Josh Widdicombe:This is my thing with Carrick. And I've realised, this is the third time I've lived this. I did it with Solskjaer and I did it with, what's the Portuguese guy? I'm a Marine. Ralph Ragnet? I liked him for a bit. yeah i liked him i liked him he reminded me of someone that would pick your your mate's dad that would pick you up from a night out yeah oh he's nice and he i'll get him boys want to go drive through mcdonald yeah a bit of fun i invented pressing what he's mad bastard when manu equalized and i say this as someone who i don't like manu because i grew up and they won everything right i've reached that point where i was quite relieved they equalized because it drags it out because he tracks it out.

28:01Josh Widdicombe:And I had the same with Solskjaer and I had the same with Amarim. I just want them to get the odd win. I don't want them to keep losing because I fear them. I don't want them to sack him. You sort of want lose-draw, lose-draw, lose-draw, so they slip down the table, but they're going to stay in to keep the drama going. Yeah. With Deserby, the fun could be over too soon. I know, exactly. We need a couple of Spurs wins. Michael, how are you feeling about Man U? Well, I went to that game. Full of Man U? Yeah, I went to the game yesterday. Was it the worst 15 minutes of Man U you've ever seen? It was pretty bad.

28:39We were really, really poor. Not to sort of drift into tactical analysis, but... Come on, give it to me. Well, I was coming back from visiting the in-laws in Birmingham and there was no trains to Euston, so I had to go to Marleybone. And I was like, oh, it's Full of Man U. I meant the tactics for the game, not your journey. This is our tactical analysis. It might have to go to Marleybone.

28:59Josh Widdicombe:I'm sorry, I didn't realise we booked Jonathan Wilson. What's going on here, Michael? Francis Bourgeois. Mate, I don't care about the trains. Let's talk football. Yeah, I'm going to write a book on inverting Chiltern Railways. Because I've never been to Craven Cottage, I thought, oh, I'll go to the game and then when we chat about it, it's lovely Craven Cottage. Oh, it's lovely. Absolutely beautiful. I've never been, actually. Is it good? Yeah, it's great. You're right on the river, like sunset over London. I might support them. I might move there and support them. We were absolutely dreadful.

29:27Like, just zero ideas. We were so poor and so lucky. But I had to sit in the home end because I couldn't get tickets in the way end. So I was sort of a covert Man United fan. And Fulham don't really have a reputation as a militant club, but I saw three different sets of Manchester United fans be removed from the homestand. One of them was a family with two young kids because you're not allowed to be in the home end with the home fans. So I then had to become a covert Fulham fan. So when Man United conceded their own goal, I had to clap my own team scoring. it's such a weird sensation this sort of like muted like did you vocalise it

30:04Josh Widdicombe:because I don't think clapping's enough if I'm a Fulham fan I stood up when I clapped you stood up when you yeah because I think if I'm a Fulham fan we haven't won this season we've scored against Man United that would be at least a come on yeah come on you lily whites or whatever they're called show us what you did Michael the goal goes in and then how did you react I stood up but I was sort of late standing up because I realised obviously it's not my muscle memory to go cheer the opposing team. And I just clapped and sort of nodded approvingly. And then when Manchester United scored an incredibly lucky goal, I just shook my head sort of performatively.

30:42Oh, God. Terrible.

30:43Josh Widdicombe:But was that part of that was you thinking, oh, God, you can live that because you're like, actually, that's bad for Manchester United, the football club that we scored there, because that's another three weeks of this. I was on that meta. I was sort of living, I was in survival mode. I was just trying to not get kicked out of the game. No one's an actual Fulham fan, are they? They're just rich people that live nearby, aren't they? It was 100 % that. It's Richard Osman, isn't it? Well, it was... Richard Osman and Lily Allen are the famous Fulham fans. A lot of Egyptians. A lot of sort of... What, because of Mohammed Al-Fayed?

31:13Well, that's what I wondered. I didn't chat to them because I didn't want to expose myself. But around me, there were a lot of Egyptians. How do you know they're Egyptian? Because I speak Egyptian. Do you? No.

31:25Josh Widdicombe:How did you know they're Egyptian? The way they walk up the stairs.

31:32Wow, they really do. Blimey.

31:37Josh Widdicombe:Thought it was just a song. That's why Mo Salah was always running, because if you broke into a wall...

31:49Well, keep it at a jog so you can maintain balance.

31:59Josh Widdicombe:Rob, we've got to phone Bill, haven't we? Yeah, I've got. So basically... People love Bill, the Tottenham fan. Okay, so Tottenham lost 3-2. They scored their first time in the Premier League, but they'd given up the game by then, Villa. But let's ring Bill. Because I keep thinking, oh, the international... What do you think about this, Michael? Everyone sort of says, oh, the international break's coming. That'll be good, because then they can get a handle on the team. But then I'd sort of think, well... What does that mean? You can't know, because... They're all away. They've all left to go and play for, in some cases, in a better team with a better manager.

32:28Yeah. So that's not going to help, is it, to go back to a worse team with a worse manager?

32:32Josh Widdicombe:They're all in a situation where you haven't really got control of them. So they could quite easily be like texting each other, going, this guy's a fucking child. Like, do you know what I mean? There's no way you've lost control. Someone like Mickey van der Ven, who I think is a brilliant player, he's definitely going to want to leave at some point if this 17th position keeps going. There'll be all his teammates in his ear and his agent can meet up with him and organise. I was like, here's a plan to get out. If you think of the Man U team, that he's going to, you know, turn around during the international break, presumably Lamens, he's off, right?

33:07Josh Widdicombe:He's got Luke Shaw. He can stay. Or is he in the England squad? Maguire's staying. Beyond that, Martinez will be at Argentina. All those midfielders are playing for their countries. Those three attackers are playing for their countries. You've literally got Harry Maguire. Oh God, and he's aggy. He's getting aggy in his old age, isn't he? You know, it used to be a bit of a laugh when he played for England. Now he's right, angry boy. He's always kicking off. I just sort of think as well, no one needs the international break at this stage. I don't want to see international football anymore. Not for a good six months.

33:37And the players, you don't want to get injured. Just start the season. Anyway, let's ring Bill. What do you think's the Tottenham? He must be waiting for this. He must be waiting for this. I think we need to buy Bill a proper mic. Yeah, we need to get him so you can ask him questions as well. I think he might duck out this one. He was in a really low place when I messaged him on Saturday. He's just looking at his phone. Hello? Hello, Bill. It's Rob and Josh. Hiya. Hi, Rob. And Josh. How are you? Can you tell him, can you just boost him by saying, we're getting incredible feedback. Bill, people love you on this, by the way.

34:17People love you as a person. They love your laugh. They love your positivity. You've got good knowledge about football when you said that. Arsenal players run more, stuff like that, which I'm not telling you, this actually does happen.

34:27Josh Widdicombe:Rob's agent messaged us to say how good Bill was. So if he's looking for representation... We can get you a mic if you want, and you can just ring him properly. Right, I'm not feeling about Spurs, yeah? Yeah, basically, come on. It's as bad as it's... I mean, the only bit worse, in my memory, is 2.8 games. Remember when Harry Redknapp came in? And we were... Was that Juan Ramos left? Yeah. We won the Carling Cup. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got two points eight games. And we were bottom. And we're rock bottom now. Are you bottom in the league now? No, you're not, are you? The thing is with this, right?

35:08Yeah. And you know this. It's a bit of where it's like, oh, my God. I'm worried now. It's just in us. They're bottom. You're bottom in the league. They're bottom. They're bottom, yeah. Because Fulham drew. Because Fulham drew. Yeah, we are rock bottom. We're no one's first time. The worst team. Coventry won as well. Yeah. So we, we're the worst team in the league. We spent over 300 million pounds. That's what, that's, do you know what, I'd say something, which I know you said, you won't like me because of my positivity. But the worry is, is there's so many people, usually, do you know when your team's not doing well?

35:41Yeah. Your, your fans, I mean, you know the problem. We need a new striker, it's a striker, it's the manager, or it's the left back. They know the problem. Most people go like, what, where do we go from here? Most people are just going, and I don't know what the problem is now because it used to be our owners didn't spend any money. We've spent loads of money. You know what it's like, Bill? It's a bit worse. But it's like, you know, like when someone's ill a lot and they can't work out what it is, and then it takes two years of different doctors and it comes back and it's basically like Lyme disease when you've been bitten by a tick and they've actually, then they've got to work backwards from that to work out what's gone on.

36:16It feels like you can't really diagnose what it is. we need a specialist we need a someone we need to be a specialist what would happen is they'd go

36:24Josh Widdicombe:if you went to the doctor in that situation have you made any big lifestyle changes in the last couple of years is it the ground is it the ground bill i watched an interview with robert green um on because my algorithm is such and he said he loved going to the emirates because it was so nice and so you've got the nicest ground. So is it a joy for teams to come? No, because it's really, it is a good ground. I'll tell you a story once, right? And I think, oh, I don't know, maybe. Do you know what? There's something we've done this year. We've actually made the away dressing room worse. So basically both dressing rooms are really nice.

37:04Would you put some of your players in then?

37:09That's the joke of the day.

37:14fucking my moosh you say we ain't got to play him have we well look we made that worse but then there was this one it is a really nice game do you know I remember one time I was at this game we were 2-0 it was Wolves we were 2-0 down at half time and so then I and I was like I can't go back out I don't want to go in there so then I went to the brewery in the pizzeria and it was really nice I was actually I was like that was a far better footballing experience I was like and it was actually it was a really nice and yet

37:45Josh Widdicombe:maybe can I ask about can I just ask about making the away dressing room worse because we were discussing we were literally discussing teams doing that earlier what does he mean they've made the away dressing room worse and does he think the away team gets a printer what have they done to make the away dressing room worse Bill Google it I can't explain it really it's just sort of like a bit more basic you know the modern ones are really nice loads of room you know you just made it really basic like and i think they put like a i always remember like you always put a table in the middle of the room that's bad for like is it bad for teams i don't know why a table in the middle room is bad for teams but i think that is bad for talking to people yeah table in the middle all right so you've so you're bottom of the league so you've put a table in the middle of the way dressing room and and do you reckon that well this is a side point because marino was printing off pictures do you reckon they have a printer in there or do you reckon they bring their own printer do you know rob the thing is yeah right you know we're in a i don't you know i don't know if josh knows this but we're in a group called nba yeah basically and it's this thing where usually when your team's not doing very well so it's me and bill with jack shalaka one of the other producers on robin romesh when we started and romesh it's us four two tottenham to arsenal yeah but for years it was our safe place where like you could just we basically went and did one where we went and we fell in love with basketball, didn't we?

39:06And so when your team's not doing very well, you sort of like start following basketball. And the worst thing about this at the minute, Rob, is that the basketball season has not even started yet. That's how early we're bad. You know, we can turn to it. Like, it starts in October. We're bottom before October. Well, you've got three weeks, Bill. You've got three weeks, international break. Unfortunately for you and Jack, when me and Ramesh meet you for dinner in a couple of weeks, it will still be the break and you'll still be bottom of the league. but where do you go from here to any Spurs fan it needs to I said that that was my point Rob where do we go from here nobody knows nobody knows is he aware what his next fixture is we've got Man United away Man United away oh El Saccio the actual El Saccio oh that is so good

39:50Josh Widdicombe:and then they've got Coventry come on now then Coventry if you lose to Coventry Deserby goes I think yeah 100 % we don't lose to Coventry I think get rid of Deserby and get Emery he's not going to do that he'll go to a club that's got money Rob, I know this is so bad to say. You do see this with Cundey and you know what I am. I know a fan said this, but we've got to scratch the pochage just to get over it. You can't get Poch back. I feel like I'm talking to a mate in a nightclub trying to get with his ex because he's having no luck. You cannot go back. Poch is not the man anymore. He had that moment.

40:24It's gone. Yeah, but we need to just do it. Do you know how I rate? Do you know how I rate, Bill? Honestly, I think you need a little bit of heart. You need to get the fans back on side. Ryan Mason.

40:35Josh Widdicombe:and just go from there with David Plink with David Plink together yeah could I just say Michael's done some research so just weeks ago it was reported that the dressing room's luxury molten brown toiletries had been removed lovely see there you go so does he think that's going to make a difference so they stink like shit and they're beating you I swear I smell bad when Doer smelt like dog shit but whips it in top corner you've got to talk King Scout he's shit isn't it do you know what's worse I'm watching like Juve highlights Pat Matassar's like bossing the midfield at Juve and also who's that centre back Brighton is it a centre back that you've got rid of he's better than Van Heep best player in the league he's winning man of the match every week oh dear best player in the league we sold we sold we sold the good ones we bought we spent 300 million on worse players right I don't want to feel like this is a part but any positivity Bill would be great but Josh have you got a final question for Bill before I let him go back to...

41:33Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, this Malton Brown thing. Famously, players are holding wash bags when they get off the... Yeah, they're not using the Malton Brown. No. Also, Malton Brown sounds like a panic buy in the... We've got Malton Brown at left back. That's fine, we're 50 million. He's just loaded toys. He's injured. He's injured. He had a slip in the shower. We'll speak to him in three weeks. Any parting words for Tottenham fans out there? Well... it will get better because the only way is up from the bottom. Of course. Can I ask one last question? What's the lowest points tally ever? Derby, isn't it? Come on. We're not doing a Derby.

42:13It's Derby.

42:14Josh Widdicombe:I've got a friend who's a West Ham fan and he's having the time of his life because they're winning games, they're scoring goals. Does part of him think it would be really joyful to just go down and then come back up having scored, got 100 points? Sure, that's, it's such a, I, so, DT, he's a Southampton fan. He said that his happiest he's been as a Southampton fan was when they're in the championship, because they're winning every week. Yeah. And they're top of the league. With a hat on a Mac and a pair of sunglasses and a newspaper in front of him. Having to snoop about. So, I think that's a really good point, because the West Ham fans, I think, actually, you asked Tom, is Tom enjoying it?

42:58Big Tom. Yeah, big time. Is he enjoying it? That's what you should find out, whether he's enjoying... Because I think that there's moments where... Well, it can't be any worse than what you're going through, can it? No. I know. They drew a little, didn't they?

43:10Josh Widdicombe:Well, I tell you what. I'll give you an example of this, Bill. They didn't. Plymouth... I think they were top last week. Yeah, they were top. They're doing what? I had a terrible time when Plymouth were in the Championship and we get every week you're playing billionaires. We're third in League One and I'm having the time of my life. Josh is having the time of his life with Plymouth in League One. We won at Blackpool. We would never have won if we were playing Southampton. He's strictly just reading the back pages.

43:35Bill, I hope it gets better for you.

43:41All right. I like that. You like that?

43:47Bill, I thought that laugh was never going to end. Right, Bill, we'll speak to you soon, mate. Thanks. International break. You've got time to get the squad together. You'll be fine. Yeah, rest up. Have you booked the cafe in Egypt to watch Marmoushi's first goal yet? No, he's out there. He's an Alex at the minute. I was thinking I was going to go over in October, but I mean, I thought he said I can't go there for a nil-nil. No. I need to find a bit of fun before going to Cairo for a cafe.

44:10Josh Widdicombe:If he does, can he report back about their walking, Rob? No. All right, cheers, Bill. See you later. Cheers, bye-bye. Oh, that was funny. We need a system where Josh can talk to Bill. I quite like it because what I can do, I realise that I can slightly slam him and he won't hear it. Yeah. His laugh's amazing. He just loves life. Oh, poor bloke. That was horrible. He'll have an agent behind that three weeks' time when we speak to him. When Tottenham conceded the first two goals, actually, I know it's funny, but it was the first time I felt this isn't actually funny anymore. There's people in that stadium.

44:46There's families who are absolutely distraught. But Villa needed it. Villa needed it, right? Yeah, yeah, they needed it. So Tottenham are bottom of the league because Fulham got a point.

44:54Josh Widdicombe:It's a shame Fulham didn't win because then Tottenham would be bottom of the league, not just on goal difference. Tottenham v Man U, I cannot wait. What day is that on? That is on October the 10th. Fuck, it's ages away, isn't it? What time? It's movie week. It's show two, Rob. It's the first elimination of Strictly. It's at 5.30. So is there a Strictly this week? Yeah, show one. It's not that far. It's show three. Yeah. It showed three. Jeez. Yeah, because it's three weeks away. Yeah. So what time is that, 5.30 game? It's a 5.30 on October the 10th. Oh, yes, please. Oh, come on, putting that in my diary.

45:34Yeah, you're going to love that. Feet up. Watch that. Watch you on Strictly. What a fucking night. Oh, my word. I'm going to get a pizza. Because whatever happens, that's a great game. If they both draw, they're shit.

45:45Josh Widdicombe:What do you want to happen in that game? I want Man United to win because I'm finding the Tottenham, bottom of the league thing really funny and I want to and I don't believe Manu will get good if they beat Tottenham no and I want the Carrick thing to drag on yeah so I think a top Man United win will be funnier can we end by asking Michael yeah if he thinks do you want to talk about any of the other games no me neither go on Michael are you hoping Manu lose games now or you do you believe Carrick can turn it around well I've been very clear about my feelings on Carrick He shouldn't have got the job in the first place.

46:23I would rather they sacked him now and replaced him, which won't happen. I think it's too embarrassing in about turns. So I would like us to lose as many games as possible, as quickly as possible to replace Michael Carrick because he's not and has never been the solution. Strong words there from Michael. And we're going to end Rob with some massive bastards.

46:41Josh Widdicombe:Oh, we've got some massive bastards. Yeah. Give me your massive bastards. Hi guys. Love both shows. Shout out for massive bastards. Ricardo Santos. Sheffield Wednesday and Cape Verde centre half absolute unit six foot five inch Ed Sheffield Wednesday fan love it right I'll have a look at him oh he's a big old lump he is you having him I am yeah he's got some big old shoulders on him it's hard you sort of need it's hard to google them you need to see them running around the pitch but yeah I think he's definitely in that territory shoulders on him this one's got a bit of explanation right hi Rob Josh Michael I'm a Peterborough fan and thought I'd throw a player into the ring I'm not sure if this is allowed but I think it's too good not to ask as Exodus Gio Hagan retired in 2024 how do you spell his name?

47:30Josh Widdicombe:Exodus as in the Gio G-E-O-H-A-G-H-O-N is that how big is he? oh my god he's got a massive head yeah he is an absolute massive bastard right he retired in 2024 following an illustrious career playing for 25 teams in 25 years Try a list of teams. I've got them here. Sutton Coalfield, Bromsgrove Rovers, Regis United, Kettering Town, Peterbury United, Rotherham, Shrewsbury, Portvale, Barnet, Darlington, Dagenham and Reggred, Mansfield Town, Kidderminster Harriers, Mansfield Town, Worcester City, Braintree, Solihull Moors, Nuneaton Town, Whitehawks, Stourbridge, Torquay, Nuneaton, Stafford, Nuneaton, Howes Owen, Barwell, Highgate United, Grizzly and Shepshed Dynamo.

48:15Certified massive bastard.

48:17Josh Widdicombe:So we'll induct one massive bastard a week. He's the one. Let me tell you why. Never has a football had so little value placed on his feet and so much on his hands. He could throw the ball into the box from the halfway line. Yes, that is peak massive bastard. You've got a team of massive bastards. The teams he played for would cheer like they had a corner. Yes, I love him. I fucking love him. He won't be disappointed. Luke, season ticket holder at the Posh for 222 months, aged 390 months. Yes, please. Gio Hagen. I've got to watch one of his videos. I don't know how your office is set up. Could you plot out, find out where he plays, plot out our two massive bastards on the pitch so we know where they play.

48:59There's actually a YouTube compilation of his throws. It's Exodus Gio Hagen, the greatest.

49:09Exodus was the best striker ever managed and judging by his career I was his manager for the longest time.

49:14Josh Widdicombe:He was a striker. He's a striker, yeah. So he was taking throws from the halfway line. And he was six foot five, but the throw-ins are mental. Big X, they call him. Oh my, these throw-ins are unbelievable. Send him more, you massive bastards, or anything you think we might want to hear. If you're aware whether football teams bring prints. No, he's a defender. He's a defender. Massive bastard. There he goes, huge. And we'll continue to do our massive bastards teams. What's the longest you've wanted a team to keep winning so they keep their shit manager. Anything you think would be interesting. Have you ever been run over by a steamroller?

49:49Josh Widdicombe:Keep them. Oh, I didn't even get to watch the Andrews Townsend thing. We'll save it for International Week. Also, I want to talk about Jimmy Floyd Hasselbank's fitness regime. I think I'm going to copy him to get ripped. He's trying to lose 10 kilos, so I'm going to do the Hasselbank training. Okay, great. We'll talk about the next time. Hasselbank's tip to Sean Wright Phillips on Strictly is don't count. Unbelievable. Is that what he said? Don't count? Don't bother counting. What does that mean in dance? Well, the whole thing is counting. He said don't go to the count. Fair enough. See you later.

50:17Bye.

50:28Hello. Welcome to Unequal Sequel. Oh, no, no. Hang on. What did I say? This is... We're not doing an episode, Dave. This is an advert. We're trying to tell people about our podcast. We're not introducing them to it. I've still got to mention what the podcast is, right? Well, yeah, but you're not saying hello and welcome to Unequal Sequel. Okay, this is the trailer to Unequal Sequel. Is that better? Yeah, yeah, that's better. It's better, isn't it? But for this episode, it's called Unequal Prequel, just to really confuse people. Yeah, we did change the title. But if you want to listen and you're listening to Parenting Hell now, we've got producer extraordinaire Michael Marden on this week's episode.

51:04We do. He's a big film fan. Yeah, well, he's a big film fan. If you're a big fan of Michael, which I'm sure a lot of people listening to this will be, then join us over on Unequal Sequel. You can hear him talk for like an hour about movies. And they do say he's got a sexy voice. So that's a good reason. Yeah, that's the thing. Go and listen to Unequal Sequel wherever you find your podcasts.