I like a thin cheese

22:32That's the thing with parenting. I feel like when it's in a public forum, someone's always got something to say. That really does annoy me. Like, if you're on TikTok and it's like a parenting video or something. Oh, my God. They just, they're awful. I'm like, they're the worst trolls of all, I think. A lot of them are like, you know, know-it-all parents. But you'll get grief for like, say, for example, if I went on TikTok and said, oh I took my daughter to the park went on the side she only slipped off and like hit her head and someone will go terrible parenting it's ridiculous or they will go oh pandering oh my god you cuddled her when she cried do you know what really yeah what really triggers people do you know what we're not getting a telegram no don't get a telegram I think the thing that triggers people the most is seeing mums do the cry out method like if you're letting your child cry yes that is a big that is triggering so how old are you you've got an 8 month old sorry yeah back to my children I have an 8 month old yeah and Tari my daughter 3 year old and a 2 year old 2 year old tj so so where are they at this moment right now tj's at nursery and tari's at home with her dad mom's day out you split in the works no one is so pleased to be here i got the cool ones out here see you later guys i'm off to work i love it who would be the default parent are you splitting it 50 50.

23:40to be fair we split everything because we both kind of work from home my husband is like a car content creator he's incredible he's a really famous tick tocker like when we're in the street people push me out of the way oh really seriously what's his name Tommy

23:53Josh Widdicombe:Tommy I'm gonna look so we digress you mix you combine your parenting because you're both working from home yeah with your job then if you're writing songs and stuff or producing yeah is that not one of those things where you need to like disappear into it oh my god 100 % it's really hard there's different elements to what I do if I'm finishing a song tweaking it then my kids can be in the room like my daughter Tari is so growly though like she's she growls all the time. You're sampling her. She have. I really, really have. I don't get why she's so growly. Would you mean growly? She's just been growling since birth.

24:27That's just her vibe. So my brother Joe was always like... That's what growly means. She growls. She growls. But he was always quite a miserable child. Really? Like my mum would say. He was always a bit like, ooh. Yeah, like quite chilled. Some kids are just on their own energy. She's really happy though, but she just growls. In happiness, she growls. She'd be like...

24:45Josh Widdicombe:Have you seen... That's really weird. Get Back, the Beatles film where they're making Let It Be and there's a bit where they're listening back and Linda McCartney's son or daughter, I think it is, daughter. I thought you were saying Linda McCartney's sausages were sitting there. Linda McCartney's sausages were sitting there. I can't hear anything, Linda. Shut the door. It'll never take off. Linda's daughter's in the mixing room just playing around them and I just thought, that must be so... Do you know what? It's not one of those jobs where I think you can bring kids to work very easily. It's just not that kind of vibe.

25:18you do need to kind of be in the zone and focus and be able to like have wonderful melodies come into your head without your child screaming at you. Yeah, that's quite hard. But I tend to work out of the house if I'm going to a session. So if I'm with an artist in the room, I'll go to like where I am now, like a studio. Yes. But if I'm at home, it's because I'm in my own zone. This is a bit like laying down a track. It is. Can you lay something down for me now? But the beats love. Are you going to sing something for us? No, no, I can only talk. But it's difficult though, if you are a comedian.

25:48Yeah. Because if you're introduced to the world as a comedian, you can't do anything that's serious.

25:54Josh Widdicombe:The greatest album of all time, right? I still don't think if I released it now. We wouldn't take you seriously. No, even if it was pound for pound the best. We wouldn't. That's actually really sad, isn't it? I know, it's my absolute trauma because you should see the songs I'm sitting on. I feel like it's kind of like Harry Potter. I feel like Daniel Radcliffe could never be anything else. No, exactly. And he didn't really shoot up enough to be Harry Potter, did he? that's the elephant in the room I thought he meant that as well he didn't do enough heroin I thought it was like a child star in the books Harry Potter turns into his six foot three tall dark mysterious and he's not he's a lovely little fellow so talk to me about having an eight month old what's your day like at the moment you know what But I think, because this is our second child, it's chill.

26:51Like, because I know who I am now. You experienced or you care less? I care less. I really just have stopped. Not in a bad way, though, but you're not overly worried. That's what we were like. No. And the key for me was with her, I sleep trained her. Oh, really? My gosh. So, right, before we get into this, can you tell me what you did with the first one and then what you did with the second one? Poor TJ. He was just kind of, we were so, you know, cautious about everything. Everything was life and death. Oh, my gosh, he's got a rash. Oh, my God, we're just A &E. Like, we were ridiculous. Oh, yeah, we were that.

27:24You can't touch him. You can't touch the baby like that. I was literally, like, obsessed. Oh, really? Yeah, it was so, so stupid. When I look back, I'm like, oh, my God, what was I doing? It was my first time. You don't know any difference. Yeah, of course. If my parents came to the house and I washed their hands, I would breathe fire on them. Like, how dare you touch this child?

27:40Josh Widdicombe:What were your parents' reaction to that? Were they, like... just rolling their eyes at me constantly. Because their generation would be like. Yeah, yeah. And Tommy's even worse than me. My husband is even worse than me. Oh, really? He is like a hypochondriac, literally. Yeah. So, yeah. How clean is your car? They're supremely clean. He gets them clean like once every four days, three, four days. Wow. Yeah. Josh's is an absolute shitter. Yes. Oh, it's okay. When we got our cat cremated, our cat died and they gave us the form. I hope so. The food was costing us too much. and there was two levels of fee.

28:15Josh Widdicombe:One was ashes and the other was the ashes of your specific cat. So some people who can't afford it are just paying all the cats are going in and then you just get a bit of that. Just get some generic cat ashes. Welcome to the show. We had a dog, it was a very sweet dog, it was my wife's dog originally and she had diabetes and so you had to give these insulin injections. It was quite a responsibility. and we went on holiday and we were nervous about going on holiday so we left it with the breeder this lady that knew the dog really well and we went away we came back we went to go and pick the dog up and she said I'm afraid the dog died I didn't want to phone you because they didn't want to spoil your holiday but your dog died and she handed us a receipt to go and pick up the ashes from the rats and charge us for the kenneling not the whole duration up to death no and was it a diabetes death was it hurtful for not being on top of the we haven't had the results of the inquest yet

29:27I don't think it's the vet equivalent of Quincy turning up or you know CSI so Harry how many kids have you got and have you got a dog Well, one at a time, guys. Sorry. What have you learned over the last four years? Nothing. Last time I was here. Well, it's the first time I've done it in person. We did it on Zoom before when you was in your office. Yeah, I was listening to it on the way in because I was trying to remember what I'd talked about. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

29:52Josh Widdicombe:So you've got three children. There's something you said that always sticks with me. Before you say anything, I've got a message for you from my wife. Oh. She said to me, what are you doing? She said, why are you in the outfit? Oh, no. And she said, I thought that was over. I said, no, there's still some. Are you tempted to drop the outfit, though? Or will it forever be the outfit? It's just easier, isn't it? It's easier to put it on. Is it? Anyway, I said, I'm doing that Parenting Hell thing. She said, yeah, I've got a message for those two. She said, Parenting Hell, she said, any wife of a comedian will know who does the parenting.

30:30It's not the comedians. Oh, my word.

30:33Josh Widdicombe:Well, I tell you what. That comes from grim first-hand experience, isn't it? Do you know what she'd like to buy? Lou Beckett's book called Lessons from a Default Parent. And she's written a book very much about that. About being the one that does all the parenting. And do you feel that's fair on you, Harry? The comedy widow. Yeah, absolutely. But do you feel like you've done more parenting now that you're older and the kids are older? Well, I've stopped parenting now. Oh, have you? Yeah. How old are your kids? I had a cut-off. I said, you know, we stopped parenting at 21. I think it's 21, isn't it?

31:03You come of age and you're on your own. in the 20s i'm kidding but yeah you're not like you are really you know i think you have actually you've drawn an imaginary line and if they come home and go dad this is god and you're like yeah well good for you yeah my wife uh they because our kids live near near us yeah they we see a lot of them yeah and she said uh oh she's coming around again tonight so how old are they uh 28 27 and 21.

31:33Josh Widdicombe:this is what I remember vividly of the first one I don't know why it stuck with me was you saying that you weren't sure about having a third right yeah um but then it was the best decision you ever made oh why are you thinking about no no but there's something that stuck with me about that I tell you what it was it's very rare that you see into the soul of Harry Hill the person do you know it It felt like a genuine moment of deep emotion from you. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, it was a blur, that. Because we had two. You know, we had the Irish twins thing, the year between them. And it was just like absolute, absolute.

32:14You know, you had that double pram. Yeah, we had the double pram. Trying to get that into, you know, an automatic door. Watching your wife trying to move that into a doorway. You approach the door, you know, with the double pram. You've got to sort of manoeuvre it in. the door shuts or you've got to get it.

32:30Josh Widdicombe:So was it, sorry, driver and passenger or front and back? What? The double pram, is it front and back? Side by side. Side by side? Yeah, side by side. Side by side. Yeah, the double decker came in, I think, after we... Yeah, but also it's unfair for the undercarriage child. Yeah. Just looking at the arse, like the back, it's not very nice. Can't see anything. No. The back of a pantomime horse situation. And then briefly there's the buggy board. Remember the buggy board? We had a buggy board, that was fun. But they don't really want to go on that one for a couple of weeks. runs they want to go in the pram yeah yeah because it's it's it stops being a laugh very quickly and it's obviously it's much easier if they're in a pram yeah but you do see i think it's always funny you see those kids you sort of wandering around blue water or something and uh there's like a great big kid in the front yeah like a seven-year-old or something dummy and you see yeah yeah so much walking you do get like 11 year olds in the pram still because they're so tired So I went to your show at Shepherd's Bush I briefly dropped into the after drinks But you didn't show I was there You ran off you mean You didn't wait long enough for him I gave it 20 minutes He's obviously giving some kind of Producer a roasting backstage From Mr Q You get this thing where Friends come to see the show And then the speed with which They find their way backstage is a bit of a wind-up to me you come off to drenched in sweat you just want to breathe a knock knock knock on the door yeah the reason I bring this up is your daughter was there yeah and I thought what's it like they were all there all three of them all three of them one was dressed as Stu for one was dressed as Gary and one was dressed as the ice cream oh wow so they all took part in the show yeah they're the end they come on as the oh so and what's that like is that a very...

34:20It's been brilliant. Yeah, so have they done the whole tour? No, they... Not at such a loose end as that. Because your wife would go on stage as well. My wife wouldn't. She doesn't like coming to see the show, let alone being in it. She goes, where are you going? So I've got Shepard's Bush tonight.

34:43Why aren't you in the Alpha? I changed into it when I get there. No, because, you know, like I said before I always sort of discouraged them coming along the kids yeah and this time because they're older they came along and it was just great because they're because you can't see their face so yes you know Winnie's in the in the she's 27 she's in the stufer costume yeah she can see me but I can't see her face but somehow just by the way she's dancing I know it's her and I and I would always kind of forget because they would come maybe you know maybe the youngest did more maybe to about two weeks of it on and off and I paid I think I did say I was gonna pay them I didn't and then Freddie would come on as Gary so she's got the thing and then Gary's head sticking out the top so you can't see it and she would come and she said and she said to me I'll come on and I'll maybe do a little dance with you okay so she comes on and of course they're her hands yeah get like Gary's hands and she just takes my hand and you just I just know it's all It's actually really affecting and sweet.

35:51And it's the first time I thought, oh, maybe it'd be great if one of them did go into it. None of them got into performing? No. They're all funny, but I mean,

35:59Josh Widdicombe:I think everyone's kids are funny, aren't they? I don't think we talked about this last time, because I don't think I realised it, but you've got a hell of a kind of kid following through Junior Bake Off. Yes, yeah. Well, I had kids following me from You've Been Framed and TV Burp. you know so it's funny on this last tour because i hadn't didn't tour regularly for a while yeah and i get these guys coming at the 25 year olds and they're going uh harry you're my you were my childhood and they want to hug can i hug you oh yeah very like 25 late 20s maybe yeah and then you get these you know little little and sort of 10 year olds oh wow yeah yeah yeah because you did a podcast sort of aimed at younger kids now you've got a new podcast coming out that's still family friendly i love the way he's he's good isn't he's very good he did a great one the other day what was that one that was really good oh prince nazim hamed it's it's so easy for me i don't like doing all the time well let me jump on that yeah i've got a new podcast are you gonna go down the barrel for this yeah straight down the buzzer is that my back barrel i've got a new podcast out it's called the Harry Hill show and we're video you know like everyone's videoing yeah and I basically it's a TV show now you've got your all control over it's basically cheap TV but it's it's sort of repeating history so you know once upon a time there was radio and then someone said oh we could film it and then that was TV and now it's then it was podcast oh hey we could film it it's like come on guys wake up and we're already doing this I mean we'll just fall in we'll just fall in and do it oh you got a video yeah alright we'll video it and because you were doing it from home before this is a real drag for you right well I live in Devon now as well but actually the interviews are a lot more fun we're loving the face-to-face interviews well you say that

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39:32I was a teenager. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, I mean, come on. How old were you? I was 18. 18, yeah. Yeah. Still in school. Still in school. Wow. Fair play.

39:43Josh Widdicombe:Wow. In school. Wow. What, having the baby or getting pregnant? Both. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I respect it. I definitely wasn't getting anyone pregnant at school. Well, I mean, I was shocked. I was very shocked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it wasn't as such sort of a planned family at that point? No, it was not. And I taught people, I actually had heard tell of a girl who was like 19 who had a baby, was with the boyfriend and she was planning another one. I was like, she needs to be committed. I was like, she's insane. I was like, that's, you know, I was giving it all the big wah, wah, wah. And then sure, it was me the following week.

40:21Oh my word. Yeah. Not on the cards at all. So what was your plan before the baby arrived? Was you going to study more or did you want to go into comedy or did you know what was going on? My plan was I was going to live at large. I had things to do. You never lived at large. I had two months. You had two months? I had two months there where I went hell for leather. I just lost my mind because my parents were quite strict. Yeah, yeah. So I had a summer away and I went balubas. Like I went balubas. Do you think them being strict sort of was counterproductive? Yes. It was. Although they were strict on my brothers as well, and it worked out with them.

41:02But my mum said that I definitely was the hardest because when they say, well, obviously I got pregnant, but before that, I was the hardest. Because they would say, you know, you can't, you're not doing that or whatever. I would then come down and present a case of why I should be allowed. Why, you know, they said that I would never let it go. and I just constantly used to lie to them. They thought I was like professional bowling in Quader. I mean, the amount of films I was supposedly seeing, like I was drinking in fields the whole time. I just had all these made-up friends, all these places I was going, and I was just drinking in fields, having a great time.

41:38So the plan was just to have... Just drinking in fields? Well, that's what happens when you're drinking in fields. But the plan was, there's no plan, but I definitely wasn't going to... Like, yeah, probably go to college, but probably go to London. Yeah. Get the London look. the London look was big at the time no one really knows what the London look was you know like on the Rimmel ad oh yeah yeah yeah it was quite aspirational to go London let's go to London and no it didn't happen so like into that very early into that school term say I got pregnant in the August then in the September so it's like your big final year you're going to do a state exam everything rides on that state exam in terms of like what college university course you can get it's like a big huge thing and then I'm pregnant that year

42:24Josh Widdicombe:oh my word so I'm pregnant, all girls school pregnant so who could it have been? yeah I know but that was the other thing when I had to tell my mother I'm pregnant I also had to say like I've had sex that was actually a bigger thing yeah I don't think she was waiting for that part no but I was embarrassed about that because she's like who? you know what I mean? what yeah wow and was it like a boyfriend it was like a summer if this is too evasive no no it's like a summer because you see this is what happens if you have a child young yeah you have to be you have to learn to be quite open about it yeah because everyone wants to know yeah because everyone thinks that could have been me yeah whether it was like in their 20s or whatever or that happened my friend Sarah or yeah my brother John had a kid when he you know everyone knows a girl at school that that sort of happened to or in the area Yeah.

43:19So everyone always wants to know. So you kind of, you get very comfortable with telling everyone your story. So he was like a summer kind of dalliance. So like very into him, but like not.

43:31Josh Widdicombe:You're not pushing through that as a relationship, are you? Come on. There's only so much you can do. Was he at school at the time? He was like, I think he had just finished and he was, yeah, he was going to go to college. Right, yeah. So I met him. I was... Gosh, I'm working in a chipper. What's a chip shop? Chip shop. Chip shop, yeah. And it's the night he's getting his exam results. Oh, the lucky devil. So that's the night I meet him. So he met you in a chip shop. I'm saying salt and vinegar and then... Yeah. But we were seeing each other for a while while I was there. Yeah, yeah. Hello. All that.

44:08So I seen him for a while. Living in... Sorry, I'm just actually remembering the story. This is great. Living in a mobile home. He was living in a mobile home. No, I was. You was? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What, near your parents' house or your own place? No, so my friend's parents had, in Wexford, you know, like by the sea, have like a caravan or whatever. So me and my friend were living in that, working. Look, do you try not to be judgmental? No, I'm not. I'm just trying to, it feels like a pitch for a sitcom idea. Yeah, so. But it's your actual life and I need to remember to be respectful. Because I'm really trying my best not to say something bad.

44:42You are, you're like, okay. I'm not very good poker face. So me and my friend are living in the mobile home, the caravan. You're in a caravan in Wexford. You work in a chip shop. This child walks in who's getting his grades, results, and you two are loving each other. Yeah. And does he move into the mobile home? No, he doesn't move in, but we see each other. No, no, it's not that ridiculous. Come on. I'm kind of seeing him a bit while I'm down there. But I have to go home because I'm not finished school yet. So at the end of summer, I have to go home. And how fast home was it? Oh, like, it's like an hour and a half.

45:14You know what I mean? Like, we're just down, like, you know, seaside town. I go back home and then very quickly, I'm back at school and I find out very quickly, I'm pregnant.

45:23Josh Widdicombe:Oh, and so how do you tell him? I told him, because I think from watching, like, films or something, I was like, okay, you have to tell the dad. He's the next person that needs to kind of know. Before your mum? Before my mum. So my friend who I was with knew. Yeah. So this poor friend of mine. You've gone and read it in the newspaper or the chip show. Yeah, this poor friend of mine. I mean, I told her everything. You know what I mean? So she's my confidant. She was there. I mean, she wasn't in the room, but she basically would have been. There's no soundproof. There's a caravan. Oh, and she knows.

45:52So she knows, right? She was with his friend.

45:56Josh Widdicombe:She was with his friend? Oh, this actually. Well, I tell you this bit. This is the funny bit. So we're in the mobile home the night I got pregnant, right? So I'd seen him before or whatever. And we are kind of like pairing. We're pairing off, right? But there's only one condom, right? we kind of say he's going to get it so me and him get it she doesn't get it oh my god right we get it but it doesn't work oh my word yeah oh wow only one condom and you got it and still got pregnant and still got pregnant Jesus what's this guy got using his nuts I know powerful stuff so she knew the whole story right and of course she's like you she's trying not to sit there kind of just go fucking escape Sorry, I'm swiling too much, aren't I?

46:43Josh Widdicombe:It's a great story. The condom, the faulty condom is giving you an air of over-security that she didn't have. So she's got lucky by not having the faulty condom. Yeah, yeah. What is it, faulty? I think he made a faulty. He put it on wrong? He put it on his head. Because in my room in the mobile home the light didn't work, so it was pitch black. Sorry, he didn't know where his penis was. I've not been funny ever. In the dark, I know where my dick is. I've never lost it once. All these years I've been sticking up from. That's how long I am. In his defence, it was dark in...

47:29Oh, wow. So, yes. But you were a kid as well. You've not experienced in condoms? I haven't had a clue. You know what I mean? TV, do you ever see that thing? I'm still not 100 % convinced I know what to do. No, you know on Degrassi Junior High, they're constantly putting condoms and bananas. I was like, when are we going to do that in school? I think we should know that. A condom and a banana in daylight is a lot different to a dick in the dark in Wexford.

47:51Josh Widdicombe:In the school, and now we're going to turn the lights off for the next lesson. Out in the field. With the lights off, try and do it with the lights off. So how did he take it? So I phoned him, and very, it's actually now, not funny at the time but it's very funny now to look back at it obviously Chris Rock does a bit that I then later discovered years later when a woman brings a man to tell him that she's pregnant if the guy's response is what are you going to do? Yeah. You know yeah fucked and that's what he said to me he's like what are you going to do? Yeah. I was like I don't know what I'm going to do like I don't know I was like I'm going to have the baby or whatever and he was like okay and that was kind of it like because he was like are you coming down?

48:35i think he was like you know because we were still in touch actually yeah we're still in touch and trying to think of ways to meet up and i was like oh you'd like i'm pregnant and then just this big silence he's still there oh he's like yeah so what are you gonna do oh god oh my god not the best and i was trying to be very grown up like things yeah oh well message him it doesn't

48:59Josh Widdicombe:help that he's the first person you've spoken to so you haven't even kind of spoken to your parents at this point. No, no, no. And I don't have a plan. Nobody knows. The school don't know. My parents don't know. Nobody knows. Oh, my word. I'm telling him as if he's... I mean, you know, obviously it's been a long time when you're laughing at it now, but were you completely devastated and panicked? Big star panicked. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, like panicked. Yeah. Panicked, like... Like, I just was on autopilot for, like, all that time. like when I was growing up like all girls school you would chat about it as like oh my god what would you do if you got pregnant what would you do if you got pregnant I'd be like kill myself it's so lie oh my god do you know what I mean like we were like that is the worst thing this is like you know naughties there was no like abortion wasn't available in Ireland Ireland as well it's a level up Ireland I think with that kind of thing oh yeah you see and as well we wouldn't have we would have had like laundries up until the 90s so now I don't know anyone when he went to a laundry but do you know what I mean like that takes What's a laundry?

50:05Sorry if I'm ignorant Laundries are do you ever hear of like the Magdalene laundries? It would have been a thing where back in the day in like Catholic Ireland if a woman had gotten pregnant Yeah She would go to a laundry to work to be put to work so it was run by nuns She would go there to work in a laundry you know like Yeah in a laundry laundry doing bedsheets and all that and then her baby would be adopted through the laundry Ah So that would happen women who say were from like very poor backgrounds or they had been abandoned. So their family was like, you ashamed, out you go. And they'd have no choice.

50:42They'd have to give up the baby. They'd have to give up the baby. Oh, God. And this would be like, you know, all sorts of women would say if it happened to a young girl. Yeah. And if the family didn't have the money to maybe send her off somewhere, you know, like say maybe to an aunt somewhere else. That she could hide away for a while. Was that to stop sort of family shame? Family shame, to do something with the baby. So now there was only, I think, it had all been winding, winding down. But you know, like that building, there was still one in Dublin. Yeah, and you would still know people that that was their life experience.

51:18And you would hear stories from your own mum of, you know, friends that had gone away. You know, there'd be lots of adoption stories or that women had gone away, you know may not have been in a laundry but would have gone away to like say I think it would have been quite common to go to like a kind of a nursing home stay there have the baby, come back Blimey I was away

51:45I'm not saying that was happening when I was growing up You've got to tell your mum and dad about it this was a thing that happened and you're an 18 year old kid so how did they take it? They were actually great they were great. So like, now I knew it wasn't going to be because they were going to kick me out or they were going to feel shame. I just, I knew that they would feel like, oh, like everything's going to be so much harder for her now. Yeah. You know, it's going to really, it's going to really change everything. My mom took it really well. I wrote her a letter and I like left the letter and ran out the door and then she came and found me.

52:23I just had gone to my friend's house across the road like, and she just came over. You know what I mean? I ran away. Like a child. I ran away to the end of the road, like kind of thing. And she came and found me and she just said, she gave me a big hug and she was like, come home and you're ready. And my friend was like, what's going on here? And then my dad, she rang my dad and I'm like, oh God, because I'm an only girl and I was like, oh God, he's going to flip. And he'd been like, would have been like one of those dads, like close the door. You know, those dads, dad's going to knock. But he was like, oh, I quite like the idea of being a granddad.

52:55so they were really nice about it but then once I told them they went into like action mode right what do we have to do we have to tell the school we have to go to the doctor we have to you know and I'm just worried about my final exam in school because I want to get that done so it's like because if you get that done it does give you options in a couple of years time doesn't it to defer studying when the baby's older yeah you can do all that then like you need to have that to move on to third level education so I want to get that done but the dates are very tight. Okay. So I think in the end, I had my daughter and then 13 days later, I start the exams.

53:36Josh Widdicombe:Oh, fucking Nora. You have to do those exams. Like English paper one happens on the Monday morning at nine o 'clock. You have to sit that exam then. Right, yeah. I still don't think there is. Because it's the same exam. So obviously. It's the same exam and it's locked in a case and you know, all that kind of stuff. There's no dispensation for someone that's just had a baby. No, and actually when I went to the maternity hospital, like when I was doing my check-ups, and it was getting really close, and I was worried about... So you were going to do the exam? Oh, yeah, doing the exam. So say, originally with her due dates, I would have had four extra dates.

54:12Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. So say she was due on the 18th, but she ended up being born on the 22nd. So I'm going in for appointment on the 18th, I think. Yeah. And it's my due date. So I'm like, okay, well, they're going to tell me to stay because she's due today and I have an exam to do. And I was like, they just did the exam. Everything great. Fantastic. I was like, sorry, it's my due date today. What's going on? And she was like, no, it's fine. Like, this is totally normal. And I was like, yeah, no, but I have to do my leaving cert. And she was like, don't worry. She's like, plenty of girls have done their leaving cert in here.

54:45And I was like, I'm not doing my leaving cert on the maternity ward. Oh, my word. I was like, no. So I started freaking out. I started freaking out. Not freaking out. I was like, ah. But then, so four days later, I had her. So I had her in enough time to get back in and do the exam.

55:04Josh Widdicombe:Where was the baby when you were doing the exam? Yes, the baby. My little baby. I have my baby. Also, most people are juggling, I might miss that hen do if I'm pregnant then. You're trying to get an exam in. Yeah, yeah. I want to get that exam in. Because I want to move on. And is it one exam? I don't want to move on with me like I don't want to because I don't want to be a grown up then still in school do you know what I mean I was just like oh no this is too much no it's a load of exams so you have two exams in English basically everyone does is this the equivalent of A levels yes so you do 6-7 subjects everyone does 6 you take the marks from but most people do 7 so you have like your language you might have like a sign subject, you know loads.

55:57Josh Widdicombe:And you're 18? You're 18, yeah you're like 17, 18 I'm 18. So this is so much for you to sort of like deal with do you think when your daughter you know who's older than that age now she's 22, when you saw her at 18 did it sort of give you these mad flashbacks of like oh my god because when you're 18 you feel like the old, because you are the oldest you've ever been you feel like you're old When I go back and do uni gigs and I see 18 year olds, I thought they're all be rowdy. They're not, they're scared little boys and girls. They're babies. Yeah. Oh, no, well, I'll tell you this. Not only when she's 18, yeah, she's in my old school.

56:33So she's in my old school in the exact same uniform. She's got red hair as well. Loads of my teachers that I had then had her. I go back for a parent teacher meeting for the big year, you know, the exam year and one of my old teachers says to me they all know me, like they all know me do you know what I mean? And they were all the people that saw the bump and then they're teaching this bump and one of the teachers said to me, he's like he's like, be honest with me now did you cheat in that history test that time? I was like, am I getting slack for stuff, for homework I didn't hand in 22 years ago?

57:10I was like, are you for real?

57:14Josh Widdicombe:That's it for this episode of Parenting Hell.

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