It started with a mix

18:12Like my eldest came up to me last night and he was like, Mum, have you ever heard Goldfraps, Felt Mountain? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I have. And he's like, good album, good album.

18:26Josh Widdicombe:Because they've got all music at their fingertips because of... Yeah, they know, that's the weird thing is like kids know all music. So the other week I was playing, we had a playlist of my husband's on and my goddaughter, who's around our house a lot, my best friend's daughter, she was like, is this Depeche Mode? And my 15-year-old went, yeah, yeah, it's Enjoy the Silence or whatever it was. You know, like, they know...

18:54Tom Davis:Well, it's great for the algorithm for music. It's great because if you go, I quite like this song, it will literally bring you up 10 other songs like that from the last 60 years. And they just know everything. So my 18-year-old, he's really into, like, everything from hip-hop to, you know, alternative indie, but he's got, like, a three-hour, like, Stan Getz bossing over playlist. Do you know what I mean? It's three hours long. I couldn't make a three-hour bossing over playlist, but he's from bossing over to drum and bass. They know all of it. Because back in the day, if you liked music, say you were into, like, heavy metal, you'd have to go, it would be like your older brother might have a mate at school that was into heavy metal.

19:30Tom Davis:The gatekeeper. Yeah, and you'd go and speak to them, and they'd have, like, five songs or an album. but now you can just, the whole internet's there to access it, it's incredible I think he's going to make some incredible artists in the next 20 years I think it is, on a serious point I do think that's why we look at the breakdown of genres sort of starting I think in the mid-noughties you can see an artist like Amy Winehouse to me she represents the beginning of that digital culture where all the reference points exist in perpetuity on the internet so she's got this kind of Shangri-La sound but she's got a very kind of colloquial modern way of writing her lyrics and then this kind of soulful voice so all these different kind of non-contemporary influences coming together and that's sort of what modern music is modern pop music is very literate in all those things Do you know what?

20:20Josh Widdicombe:That's the best point we've ever had made on air I'm going to pass that off as my own Please do It's yours

20:25Tom Davis:Wasn't it my perception of it though? Rob set it up You two have come up with it and I'm going to use it Swoop in. Yeah, swoop in. The humble jog.

20:36Josh Widdicombe:If you could just chip that bit out, Michael. My wife said, when I said that you were on this, she said, oh, she said something I loved, Lauren Laverne. Did I? She said that when she had kids, it was great because she stopped trying to be cool. Oh, yeah, very much so. I mean, it's humbling, isn't it? This is obviously every parent knows this. It's just a massive kind of exercise in ego death. basically having children yeah i think for me it was good i was relatively young when i had kids so i had my first son at uh i guess 28 29 and then uh my second one i was 30 31 we're of that generation where that's considered like yeah yeah well the funny thing was i remember after i had my first son there was only me and my best friend had kids at the same time nobody else that i knew had kids nobody else had sort of got to that point yet really and um i went out with my auntie and she came down to London to see the baby.

21:33My auntie Jean and my mum, my mum was already there, and we all went out to a cafe and I remember my auntie Jean going, the good thing is, pet, you're an older mother.

21:41Josh Widdicombe:So, you know, and I promise you, I felt like I was about like 15 with this baby. I was like, what am I going to do with this baby? Like, you know, just felt so out of my depth. But she was like, oh, 29, you know, practically a grandma kind of thing. So it's funny that.

21:59Tom Davis:How was it being like down south though in a sort of industry where being a mum at that age and taking time off and, you know, people, women's bodies were so under the microscope that whole time and being away from your family. How was it stressful? Was it worrying? Well, also, this is 20 years ago, right? So it was a very different time. So, I mean, I got, I think, four weeks maternity leave with my first son. Oh, my God. What were you doing? I was doing a TV show. And while I was off, I was getting texts from people on the TV show going, oh, such and such is after your job. and like oh my gosh yeah to scare me oh my gosh so you know it was a different industry back then yeah um i mean luckily i was always able to work part-time which really helped but you know when i had my kids i really had no expectation that i would be able to continue to have a career i was doing i was doing radio on tv at that point um and i just sort of thought oh well this probably i'm gonna have to go to university when they're old enough i thought my husband would keep working and then and because we were both working in telly he was working in production and and then weirdly it just over the next couple of years we had another baby and then actually as my second I was about to have that second baby just all went and things and my career started to take off and the maths just changed you know suddenly it was one of those things where actually if I go out to work for the afternoon yeah our time it's more sensible if I do that and you are here with the kids, so then we're sort of switched.

23:27Josh Widdicombe:Because was TV... Because obviously, I'm originally aware of you as a pop star, Lauren. Wow, that's a stretch. Yeah, in a band. In a band. And so then I knew you in a band, and then was TV a decision, or did you kind of drift into it from that? Just fell into it from being on Buzzcocks and things like that. You know, I was on those sorts of shows. And then in those days, there was so much telly, right? So this is like pre-internet. there was like hours and hours of cable telly to fill up so you got put on cable there was people just going oh do you want to do a bit of present because if you're funny or yeah you look the part or whatever they would say oh do you want to do a bit of presenting and so obviously I did it was great shoe money do you know I mean I just thought fun why not and then I did some radio show money you know so it's just like yeah just like make but a little bit of money here and there spend it on shoes fine but no so I sort of fell into doing the telly and then actually got the chance to do a bit of radio and I really loved that yeah there was something about that that I thought oh this is good because it's I always say it's showing off in private you know you're hidden away but you get to do that because I'm not really a kind of being out the front type person I'm actually a little bit more of an introvert really all kind of a kind of stumble and find of it yeah really it was I mean I was supposed to to go to university and I imagined having it, like my dad was an academic and I thought I wanted to be a historian and work at a university like he did and I wanted to have an office that was full of books and have music on really loud like he used to.

25:04He was a sociologist. And actually I kind of have got that life but in a very roundabout way via a different sort of means. I've now got my room that's full of books and records but I just went about it.

25:17Josh Widdicombe:But the record is the thing that's paying the money rather than the book.

25:23Tom Davis:This episode is brought to you by Tesco Club Card.

25:26Josh Widdicombe:Big news for thrill seekers. And I consider you one of them, Rob. Thank you. Yes. You can get a two-person day ticket to a Merlin theme park for£56 when you book using Club Card vouchers.

25:38Tom Davis:So, Josh, what are we saying? What's your favourite type of ride? You've heard a lot from me and Lou and my kids about rides. I don't get it from you. I feel like you're a ride curious. Do you know what I like, Rob?

25:50Josh Widdicombe:I like a big drop. I like a big drop. I hate the drop. I hate it and I love it. Do you know what I mean? It makes my stomach go. That's the fun of it, Rob. That's the fun of it. No, I can't do the drop. And I sit down and I clasp myself in and I'm scared and I hate it and I don't want to go on it. And as soon as I've gone on it, I never want to go on it again. But for that moment when I'm falling, I think this is the best thing that's ever happened. Either that, Rob, or a pirate ship. I do love a pirate ship. What, the swinging one? Yeah. No, you love drops. You love that little feeling in your belly, don't you?

26:22Josh Widdicombe:Oh, I love the little tickle in my belly. Little drop, dude. Rob, if that's got you in the mood, right, you can get two tickets to a Merlin theme park for£56 when you book using club card vouchers. You can book at Alton Towers, Thorpe Park, Chessington, and Legoland Windsor Resort.

26:37Tom Davis:You need to exchange with reward partners, but you can exchange as little as 50p to£1 and then pay the difference and still be eligible.

26:44Josh Widdicombe:Book between the 30th of June and the 20th of July for any bookable date until the 1st of September, 2026.

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28:28Tom Davis:Welcome back to the podcast. We've had you on before, but it was on Zoom, and it was a little bit more of a heavier one. We spoke a lot about your surrogacy journey. Yeah, let's see how heavy it gets. We don't have to go heavy again. We may go heavy again. Do you want to apologize to Romesh publicly? Yeah, I did feel bad because I sort of announced the surrogacy story here. Yeah. And to be fair, that's how I chose to announce it to the world. Obviously, at the time I was on a tour as well, I needed to sell some tickets. But you're back on tour. Yeah, and I'm back here again. But, you know, it was a heavy one.

28:58It was actually an incredible thing, I've got to say, doing this. And the amount of people still now who reach out about that journey, which is kind of, I guess, why you do these and you talk about it. and I've got to give you both your flowers because you're so beautiful. And the tour. The tour's the other reason you do it, isn't it?

29:14Tom Davis:Yeah, I mean, yeah, the tour is. Your new tour, Spudgum, which is the reason you're here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially you love us and, you know, beautiful. And my daughter.

29:20Josh Widdicombe:Do you know what, Tom? We'll give you the options. You can discuss the importance of surrogacy or your tour today. It's up to you. No, I'm going to definitely talk about the tour. I'll chat about the surrogacy. Or just your daughter in general. Yes. Or the tour. Weirdly, my daughter now basically is the tour. How old is she? Four. Why is it called Spudgun? That was a nickname given to me on building sites. Oh, yeah, you were called Afterbottom? I think it was, yeah, Afterbottom. Because there was that character in Spudgun. Yeah, who was a bit of a, you know, I suppose he was the idiot of the group in a sense, right?

29:52Big sort of lumbering loser.

29:55Tom Davis:Oh, yeah. He goes, one potato or two. Remember that? No. I love how you said it in such a sort of big lumbering loser. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know you, Rob. You're joining the dogs. And I know you well enough, Rob, to know that you've described me that way at some point. Well, no, never. You're not. You're a very funny man, good friend, good guy. No, but I thought it was that. And then someone told me it was actually because they thought it's what you called a younger man who didn't feel like he had, like he wouldn't shoot sperm, he'd shoot quite watery. Oh, right. Yeah. And they were right. Yeah.

30:35I'll take that. I'll take that. I have literally, I talk so much about this very subject in the new tour. Thank you for the segue in.

30:43Tom Davis:So is that what the tour's about then? That link's between that and that? No, no, it's more about, it's about, the tour's about perception. The link between that? I'm just trying to get it back on track, mate. Yeah, but it's about, the tour's about perception. But a lot of the tour, you know, you've both got kids. I think it's almost, you can't help, but a lot of the material linking back to having children. They just, every day there's something that you get with them that becomes your material. and they do funnier stuff than, and she's a, I mean, How old is she now? Four. Four. So is she the year before school?

31:14Yeah, she's just, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's in a little nursery. How are you feeling about school? Uh, I mean, she's, she's very much like I was in a lot of ways and we've, yeah. Seven foot? Yeah, she's, no, she's six foot three at the moment.

31:27Tom Davis:But, you know, when you get to 18, we'll see. She's, um, no, she, she, she's, her attention's, but I mean, she's four, but there's an element of like she's a little comedian she's very funny she takes a piss and she has a joke she's just learnt the word fanny American or British I mean she watches a lot of Kardashians we've got I'm like you know football dads I'm looking at the Kardashians like sort of Project Kim Project Kim and get her out doing makeup tutorials that's the future right she's got a phone now the thing is everyone's an influencer now so who are we influencing each the other influencers yeah but the thing is we all influence each other in such small ways.

32:05Are we stoned?

32:06Tom Davis:That was really fucking deep. You influenced me someday. I get influenced. What's your goal? You're now in the golf. I'm a golf influencer now. I've done two videos. That's the thing I find about being a dad now. It's the very idea of going out for four hours. Yeah, but you're... I couldn't... I wanted to do it when my kids were your age, but now they're eight and ten and the tour's coming down, I've got time because they're both in school.

32:31Josh Widdicombe:So you're going to do it weekdays when your kids are in school?

32:32Tom Davis:My plan is to be able to go like, drop the kids at school on a Monday and then go to the golf course straight after the school drop and then pick them up. And that'll be my day off. You're basically a retired footballer now. Yeah. What do you want to be when you're older? I'm not even a footballer. A retired footballer. That's the best job. Yeah, that is the best, yeah. So that's what I'm trying to do.

32:49Josh Widdicombe:How many days a week are you going to do? You know Jamie Redknaut well. He does loads to say. Yeah, I don't think he does much since he's done his needs. But what I love about you as well because you could be like a retired footballer but it's not like Stuart Ripley. He won the Premier League but people are sort of like, do you know what I mean? You're not...

33:03Tom Davis:Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't be going down as a sort of Wayne Rooney type. I've got time now, they're both in school but when yours goes to school full time, you'll have so much time back. So you'll be pulling up at the school,

33:14Josh Widdicombe:golf bag in the back of your car.

33:16Tom Davis:Yeah. Chuck them out, straight to the coals, high five a few of the guys, probably receive some quite questionable political and racial views. Try and block that out and just head down the fairway.

33:29Josh Widdicombe:No, no. honestly I'm not filming for Sky I won't be bringing him down so you have to say

33:33Tom Davis:it's okay

33:34Josh Widdicombe:it's just me

33:36Tom Davis:it is bizarre when you go into those places yeah there is an old time a weird world of golf old types of men do you go to the 19th and have a beer

33:45Josh Widdicombe:at the 19th

33:46Tom Davis:do they call that the clubhouse is that the thing I'm struggling with the golf banter

33:51Josh Widdicombe:yeah the banter's not great on paper I'd say if you asked me to describe the people that would most annoy you it would be rich man on a golf course. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I found that.

34:05Tom Davis:Which, you know, I am now. Do you know the word? So, let's be honest about this. Yeah, yeah. I fall in that category. Do you know what's bizarre? It's when they start having banter about, like, because we all have this thing where, for the very nature of what we do for a living, people jump through, like, the process of what they think they know you. So if you met just any other guy down there, you slowly get to know him. You slowly start having banter. what I noticed with playing golf is that people have banter straight away so as soon as you hit a ball badly there's no like you know oh yeah I'll wait for him to they're literally firing to you straight in and they walk up and watch your putt yeah can I tell you I do bits of aren't you going to have the hold yourself can I tell you the two interactions I had right so as guys another hold so Tom what's it like being a dad

34:55what I love is I listen to this podcast and it's so thinly veiled.

35:01Tom Davis:It's like Nezhiro, you can see through. I listen to it as a place to get advice and I've actually texted both of you, I think. I've certainly texted Beckett for advice as being a father. But when I listen to... Interestingly, you've listened to me and never thought to take... Normally, they ask you about holidays. I've been holidays. I've been asking you about holidays, yeah. But now it was like, but it was very like, oh, these two are in, I think, a cinema situation that I'm in now. so I probably should go back and listen to it but I listen to the more regular ones and I'm like okay yeah this is the bit I'm looking forward to I could skip through the first two Lord of the Ring movies and just get to the end where they all sail away on the boat well tell us you're two golfing well one I was putting and the guy literally walked away from his hole to come to my hole to watch me putt and is that

35:46Josh Widdicombe:without sounding like a wanker because you're Rob Beckham yeah that's more

35:48Tom Davis:that's not a golfing

35:49Josh Widdicombe:that's because he's recognising it's actually really frowned upon yeah to do that you should just let people get on with it it's like standing in someone's view when they're potting in snooker.

35:59Tom Davis:Yeah,

35:59Josh Widdicombe:it's exactly that.

36:00Tom Davis:So anyway, he's quite a nice guy and he came up to me and he was like, how are you getting on? I went a three under. I was on hole two. And he was like, cool, you're doing well in winter. I was like, no, I'm joking. And I went, not doing well actually. I was like, five, seven, six, nine, ten. And he was like, oh, sounds like a phone number. And I went, well, he doesn't exist because they start with zeros. Yeah, yeah. And then also, you wouldn't say ten. You wouldn't say 10. You'd say 1-0. And then this is quite, I've never had this before, this guy come up to me, I'd hit a ball so off the hole, like onto the other hole, and so I'm having to go onto their fairway, and I'm like, oh, sorry, and he's like, no worries.

36:32Tom Davis:He comes over to me and says hello. He's a nice guy. I was like, oh, hi, Rob, I'm introducing him, you should just let someone have their shot and be quiet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This band comes up to me. I've already got a man behind me waiting to tee off. I'm with someone, and I've hit it about three times shitly off the tee. So it's gone right over there, I'm trying to do it quickly he's like oh hello nice to meet you I'm so and so and I was like alright he went I'm fascinated by my work I do I went oh alright good for you he's fascinated by his work by his work not mine his work I went okay that's the weirdest thing anyone's ever said then he goes I specialize in high performance in sport and life oh fuck off and it's very hard to say you don't need that when you're already on someone else's hull yeah yeah I'm looking for mid-level performance actually also he's not hoovering up shit golf he's got to be looking yeah top top people he's not going well I don't know but like anyway so he was like I specialise in helping people achieve high performance in this and all that and then he said would you be interested in that and by this point it's raining I'm stressed and I went no it is I've couldn't tell you now there's a lot of that and I would say that people the thing about it is

37:36Josh Widdicombe:but it's good that you're getting to relax in your working day Rob with a videographer stood next to you

37:40Tom Davis:the business man in showbiz is fucking turning on me

37:42Josh Widdicombe:because he's tired I think there's a sort of can I tell Tom about you last week I should say you're going to love this. Go on. I saw Romesh on Saturday. When you were doing Radio 2? When we were both working, yeah. Yeah. And we were like, the subject of you came up. Yeah. Oh, God, he's doing a golf thing now. He just keeps going, doesn't he? He does so much.

38:01Tom Davis:These two said at Radio 2. Yeah, geez, yeah. Sucking from the corporate teeth. I'm a little influencer, a little creator out there. Fucking early shift. So, you're parenting? Yeah, I am. I'm actually parenting now. I mean, since I last came on here, yeah. Yeah. I was a little baby really young and I remember at the end of it saying I'll never be in a situation where I look at her and push laughs or curse her not sleeping and yeah that lasted all of about six months because it's crazy we've had in and out of bed we've been in our bed me and Josh both have slight sleeping issues with the kids at points it's hard, are you all in the same bed at the moment no no no she's back in her room now but we all night yeah well yeah we had a thing where I was filming at the end of last year I'm still nicking a bit of work where I can yeah I'm not in your league now boys but I'm not so what's she in her own room she's in her own room so she's in her own room but yeah at the end of last year I was away working and she sort of crept back in yeah I think that's the problem for comedians is if there's a gap in the bed yeah how can you say no to your kid that comes in at night and then all of a sudden you're back off tour and there's three of you in there So then she spent quite a lot of time.

39:15Then over Christmas, she was on a mattress on the floor. Because you're big as well. So what size bed have you got?

39:22Tom Davis:You can't say it like that. He's called Big Tom. Yeah, I know he's... Well, yeah, true. You don't know what we said. It's on your socials. He said it in such a... Because you're big as well. You're bigger. Because you're like, what's going on there? It's like... And you need a special bed. Oh, man. I went for a medical recently and the guy analysed me like I was a freak. It was so hard. He was like literally going, you haven't had any problems with your heart? And I went, not really. And he went, okay. And then he gets out the dick to phone to leave sort of right. Gets out the dick to phone. Yeah, he went, well, this is, gets out the dick and goes, this isn't in keeping with the rest of your stature.

39:59That's odd, isn't it?

40:00Tom Davis:That's odd. This is a penis of a five for two, man. So it's like Josh Whittakin's penis. He was in last week. Hello, little fella. what a nice surprise but he starts doing a thing where he goes worth having some heart checks due to the fact he has abnormal hands abnormal his head maybe is slight on abnormalities with his forehead and he starts and you know you're looking and I'm thinking if I had small hands I'd look fucking ridiculous yeah but I didn't say you're out of proportion no the way he made me feel in this situation you've got quite a narrow little way little sexy little samba waist it was got narrower and it was how much have you lost so going into Covid I was about I think about 146 248 kilograms and I'm down about 122 now so you've lost 26 kilos 26 kilos what's that in stone 4 or 5 stone so yeah about 4 or 5 stone yeah yeah yeah so how did you how have you managed to do that with like a baby having a baby what's your I stopped drinking was a big thing, eating well, and also, there's a big part of me which was having a little baby at the night, sort of, what was she?

41:18So I was 42, and I wanted to be as sort of like, around as I was. So you was 42 inches bald? Yeah. But I also wanted to be able to do, you know, runabout, and I was in a position where I just thought, I'm not able to do that. Yeah. And so I prioritised just, even now, sort of like, getting as many steps as you can, I know that you have a bugbear you get annoyed with the steps thing do I know I thought you did

41:44Tom Davis:it's made up though here he goes don't get on his eye all about steps if he's not fucking badgered my ears about steps I'm actually in favour of steps

41:52Josh Widdicombe:I think it's a good thing yeah I love that cover of Tragedy am I alright you didn't believe that

41:59Tom Davis:did you your heart went in there you tried to wiggle your glasses and give it more do you know what it was I thought everyone's an audition for Strictly with this guy

42:10Tom Davis:anyway

42:11Josh Widdicombe:it's it's movies week so let's get on with it Tom

42:15Tom Davis:and here he is as Frankenstein again you can't do this it's the only outfit we've got for him

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43:59Tom Davis:How old are your kids? they are 7 and 4 well first of all Chantelle Nash welcome to the podcast we should do a proper oh yeah it's because you know each other so well well not so well it's our first time it's your first time yes hello thank you very much I'm Chantelle Nash hello and you know Josh from doing his tour support I do know Josh from doing tour support a couple of dates in the home counties region we've done quite a few

44:23Josh Widdicombe:I reckon we've done 15 do you reckon is it that many feels like it okay thanks thanks Josh

44:29Tom Davis:he's really good at making Can I guess feel at ease? So comfortable, so welcome. But no, we have. We did that really hot one in Bedford. Yeah, there was that hot one in Bedford.

44:38Josh Widdicombe:It was boiling. Absolutely boiling. Yeah, they were hot. If I'm honest. And they put Karen from Strictly in the front row. Yeah, that was a good one. Yeah, that was a good one because I met Karen from Strictly. So thank you very much for being my gateway drug to Karen, which was very nice.

44:57Tom Davis:gateway drag to Karen is gin and 60 years of age but yes I've got two kids they're six no seven seven and four and so my daughter called Etta is seven and my son Otis is four and Etta turned seven in January so fresh seven yeah and my son's birthday's in October and he's starting school in September starting school in September desperate to get to school already he's been at nursery for like two years because like a school nursery and there are days where he will like, to get to the school, you kind of turn right for nursery, turn left for reception. And there are days where he'll like, break free from my grip and run to the reception door and just try to break into the classroom.

45:35It's like, because all of his friends from the year before have already got up to reception. So he's like, try screaming his friend's name, like, let me in! I just want to see.

45:43Tom Davis:So this could be the least stressful first day at school. The least stressful transition. The most stressful thing would be if he doesn't get into the school. And that's got to be it.

45:50Josh Widdicombe:Oh no. You said something beforehand, which we've never covered before which is your children do child modelling. Yes, they do. So how did that happen? So that happened with my daughter. Is it like, because Kate Moss was like walking around the tube, wasn't she? And someone said, you've got to become a model. Yeah. It's hard to be a talent spotter for children models, isn't it? Creepy. Very creepy.

46:12Tom Davis:Just trying to get that body odour, the long hair, the look. Somebody once actually at a train station, I was on my phone and they came over and I was like, oh excuse me do you know anyone who would do modelling or would you do modelling and I looked up and it was like or if you've got any friends who would like to like it took one look at me was like no actually if you've got mates I was like okay thanks so yes my kids do child modelling so basically my daughter was born and obviously like anyone else you think your child is the most beautiful thing in the world because you're as a woman particularly you're genetically hormonally hardwired to think that because um because really if there's anything else in the world that caused you the amount of pain that a child does you'd kill it on sight yeah exactly you would but no it's like oh it's so beautiful so basically my partner richie was like she's really cute she's a really cute baby she's a really cute baby so yeah of course she's cute and he did kid modeling when he was little um i've not seen richie is he fit is a dynasty oh i think he's lovely but you know i have a type um but he was basically when he was a kid he was the face of the I don't know if I can say this actually the Cream Egg McFlurry when it launched you can say that I don't know, you might have to pay McDonald's 10 million I'm going to Google the Cream Egg McFlurry launch you might have to find it so I've got like a four foot bus poster of him aged 13 in our house and it's going to be, it'll be going up so he was like, you know, I did modelling they could do modelling and so we reached out to the child model agent that he was with and they were still in business at the time and they, he was like sent him a picture, a picture of her and they're like yeah we'll take her on

47:49Josh Widdicombe:no skin off their nose no it's like yeah we'll have another one to add to the cattle because the main criteria for being a baby model is just being a baby that's it so it was a baby model she was three months she did loads of stuff she did stuff for boots she was in a centre parks advert she got a TV credit before me that is the truth

48:12Tom Davis:does she still do it or is it just as a baby so she does it Her model agency, they decided to retire. So we need to find her a new agent. If anyone would like to... 10 % of them.

48:23Josh Widdicombe:What's it like when your child... What's the day like? The day when you've got... You know, self-tapes come in. Self-tapes? Self-tapes? Yeah, for kids. The weird thing is... For babies? Yeah, so you have to like... You've got to rename that.

48:38Tom Davis:Mum tape or dad tape. You can't call it self-tape. Yeah, it's self-tape. She's three months old. But you've got the baby on your lap and you've got to say, this is you know so and so there and actually in baby modeling it's not obviously about your measurements and your size it's length we we're looking for babies that are between 55 and 106

48:54Josh Widdicombe:centimeters long no not that big a distance yeah no that's too big a gap that's me it's me and my 55 to 106 enormous children yeah honey i struck the baby you probably had to get one yeah exactly sorry that's not right at all but yeah so baby's that big um is what we're looking for and so you You'd self-tape them? Yeah, so you'd have them on your lap and you'd say, this is Etta, she's X age, she's this length, and then a close-up of the face, one of the hands, whatever they want. And then sometimes it would be like a picture or a video of them doing something. So there was ones where it was like for a food advert, so you've got to show videos of your kids eating ice cream messily or something like that.

49:32And then there were other ridiculous ones that were like, if your child can say X thing at six months, you're like, no, most kids can't do that. But the thing with Richie was he was like, he's always had enormous faith in our kids and so he he's a mummager he's the Chris Jenner people think it's me it's not me

49:49Tom Davis:oh he's the push what does he do he's an electrician right living vicariously through the kids did he want to carry a modelling no he didn't he chose to carry a girl with football he wasn't that sore about it but he just has immense faith in them yeah and so not in a pushy like insane way that was that you know three months in get me on the camera come on get on it get self taped come on love get working get grafted get the tape measure her out and it was she had a tape measure um and she did a self-tape for this um series for sky and they were looking for kids who could age i think three and up but could look two and she was wasn't even two at the time and they had like lines that she had to do this character and i've got the self-tape of her doing these lines at like under two and like richie's feeding other lines doing the bits back and she's like okay to this time if we could try a little bit more like really going into it ultimately she got the job no yeah and she was she was happy to do it because she's like she's very girly she's very confident outgoing um there was no point where she was like upset um and she did it so when otis was born uh two weeks after he was born she had to film um this sky tv show so richie went off with her for two weeks to be on set uh and like what was the show it was midwitch cuckoos oh yeah we advertised that on this yeah did you yeah

51:07Josh Widdicombe:full circle the old midwitch cuckoos yeah yeah so she was that's amazing and so is there loads of rules when you're on set like yeah they can only work for a certain amount of time so it's like an hour or 45 minutes and then the baby needs a break so they have to be really quick

51:21Tom Davis:that's in my contract as well so yeah that's the real thing so what's the rules of that because like they have to have a separate bank account and does the money go into their so the parents so what of the rules are there than tax You're never earning that much money in a year average child modelling. You're not making big bucks. The first thing that her agent at the time said is like, she's not going to get cast in these tenders. You can't quit your job. I wasn't thinking about that, Sally, but cool. So, yeah, you have to have a bank account registered in their name and any payments have to be made out to them direct.

51:55So either by cheque or direct debit to their own bank account. And so you can't have access to it. So, yeah, they've had kids of both bank accounts since they were tiny. With Otis, I remember...

52:05Tom Davis:did modelling as well? Yeah, he was on the books. Richie loves it, doesn't he? Yeah, I remember being, giving birth and Richie had

52:14Josh Widdicombe:the tape measure out. The agent messaged and was like, congratulations, like I've heard the baby's born. We have just had a request for a Saudi bank and they're looking for a range of babies. They haven't cast the dad yet. Could you send a pic? So literally in the hospital I was like, there's a baby. Like minutes old. already on the job. No, wow. He didn't get the job. I think they cast a different colour dad.

52:43Tom Davis:So how, because I'm fascinated by this because I had friends who did acting when they were like, there's always a kid at school that does child modelling or acting or whatever. But the weird thing is that the way it's all changed now is where people's kids are on Instagram or TikTok all the time and it's fair enough they just film and do something funny and it's put up and that's it. But some are like, you know, you see these like, You don't have your kids on Instagram, do you? No, sometimes they'll pop up on a carousel of pictures. But yeah, literally, on a carousel of things. But I'm never putting them up intentionally.

53:14Like, oh, this is a...

53:15Tom Davis:Yeah, well, some of the reality stars put up like, oh, thanks, and it'll say it's, for example, something like Johnson's bubble bath or something. And it'll be an ad, and it'll be hashtag ad. Oh, thanks, brilliant, the kids love it. And the kids are just like in the bath, in the photo. And like, that child's doing an advert for a bubble bath. Like, and you can see him in a bath. So where does that... And the mum's getting paid, or the dad's getting paid for that. Yeah. Say they're getting five grand for that. Yeah. And it's going straight to them, but they're not even in it. Yeah. I don't know where the middle ground is.

53:45Because I always think that, like, surely there are rules to this. Like, how do you break that down? Because when we were with the agency, we got stuff for family work. So we'd have to self-tape as a whole family. Yeah. And we did an advert for which, for like, it's a ritual in one bit. I did, I had to run into the sea. It was mental. Anyway, and the kids did. Is that a video? It's not a it might be a video actually no it's not a video.

54:05Tom Davis:Can we find that? You can find a picture of it. Witch me in a blue We'll drop it in and it'll be on our Instagram. Witch me? Is that the thing? It's called like Witch the Company. Yeah. It was like a summer campaign they did. It's a still I was on the side of buses like yeah it was mad. My friends were like what is this? I was like it was for the kids. It was so I had to pay to go to uni that was why. But basically.

54:30Josh Widdicombe:So is it all going in like a uni fund basically? Yeah, basically, yeah. She's paid a couple years off already. Oh, wow. Yeah, but she did a wet wipe thing that came good. And because the buyout for print stuff, if it gets used again... You get a bonus. Yeah, so every now and then we just get a little thing through from the wet wipe thing that's kind of...

54:48Tom Davis:And it all just goes into her account. It's amazing. Into her account, yeah. Yeah, so they're just gobbling it up, these people on social media. Yeah, I don't know what's happening there. I don't feel right about it personally, but only legitimate channels. Absolutely. Only legitimate channels. Not questioning you're not. No. Just saying, though, as an expert in the field, you may have some... Because I always look at them adverts and go, who's getting the money here? Yeah. No, but you have to... And for that, so for that, which one? We got paid a kind of an overall fee and then we just put it in the kids' accounts.

55:18Oh, right. Me, mum running into the, you know, the sea.

55:22Tom Davis:Yeah, you were the one taking the bullet there. You were in a swimsuit running into the sea.

55:25Josh Widdicombe:Were you swimsuited up? I was swimsuited up. On the side of a bus? And I didn't know. It was like, oh... And the kids are getting paid. It's a beach family day out was the shoot. And then like the day before, they're like, how are you in open water? I can't swim. You can't swim. The purpose of people listening to this audibly, I'm black. I don't swim. All right. So I can't. And they're like, oh, would you feel OK going there? It's like, not really. And then on the day, they're like, so the shoot is, you're all a bunch of mum friends. You've taken to open water swimming. you're gonna run into the sea and then we're gonna run out again you're not

56:01Tom Davis:gonna go in just going up to you know chin high and we were in this and did you tell him you couldn't swim yeah no you don't have to just wading in and it was like in it was obviously to look like summer but filmed in that March yeah yeah and wherever it was somewhere your kids are there with you kids they're with us today they're in like they're in their kind of a catering tent with a chaperone me and Richard tag teaming in because the chaperones everything is well you gotta leave your kid with somebody who's like legally qualified to watch them and then we're in this van and we're all like talking with other women and we're actually talking about quite like emotional things about like anxieties and kind of female bodies and changes and menopause and all this stuff and it was really a heartfelt conversation it was like oh you know thanks for sharing that about you know your life and your struggles there was a lady who was deaf and it was a really lovely moment and the door flies open it's like hello ladies my name's brian i'm from the rnli i'm going to talk to you about riptides like What?

56:57Ripped eyes? I didn't think I was going to get sucked into the North Sea or wherever it was. But anyway, Google it. You'll find me on the internet. Oh, wow.

57:07Josh Widdicombe:That's it for this episode of Parenting Hell.

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