S11 EP14: My Life is Chaos

25:28Do that. Come back. Oh, my fucking God. Had a great time. I was at a disco that had the loudest music ever. At one point, I had to judge a dance-off between two nine-year-olds, which they both wanted to win. And it was terrible having to pick one. but to be fair to the little girl the break dancing she did was top quality she won sure the other kids got upset anyway drove him home watched 10 minutes of the Manchester Derby smacked some night nurse went asleep at 9 now I speak to you on Monday morning lunchtime in the village on a mic trapped in my car and my battery's going down fucking hell

26:05Josh Widdicombe:but apart from that it's kind of right oh my god Rob fucking hell Josh This is unbelievable We're back, there's a couple of days This episode's been recorded over three days Is it four days? It's like Apocalypse Now, it's unbelievable We're caught in a kind of constant production Talk me through what happened Well what happened was I know, talk the list I know what fucking happened You had laptop lead problems Look at this little Look at that, that's a proper laptop charger And do you know what? I shouted out Apple the other day for trying to make me buy a new iPad. Yeah. I bought that on the Apple website.

26:46Josh Widdicombe:It was in my house the next day. Yeah. And what did you pay? £219 or something? No, it was 40 quid. Not too bad, actually. Not too bad. And it's safe. You don't want plug safe. This isn't a big up to Apple, but be careful buying those cheap chargers on the internet. Oh, God. Fucking hell. They're all virus, guys. They're the ultimate false economy. Right. So, basically, my internet went off. I was slagging you off for having bad technology. And as we did that, do you know what happened? My leg moved forward, right? And as it moved forward, the internet went off. So I spent about 10 minutes trying to replug in my sort of ethernet cable because I thought it was you had gone.

27:22Then I had to pack all my stuff up. But that was Monday. It is now Thursday. It said it's going to take two days to fix. There's still no internet in our house. My children, it is barbaric, Josh. We've had no internet. And when I'm talking about no internet, I'm not talking, oh, just using 4G. I'm talking, you cannot ring us. We can't message. It's quite nice. Have you got a landline? No, I'm not. What do you think I am? A landline? Who's got a landline? If someone's gave me their landline, I'd be so suspicious of them. Well, it's like businesses. Only a business.

27:56Josh Widdicombe:I am a business. You are a bloody business, yeah. But anyway, so we've got nothing to do. But it is the other way. You know when a business has got a mobile phone, I think this is a fucking tin pot situation here. No. yeah what's that we can run a business from whatsapp easy no we can't no do you know what i mean like if you go if it's like a um hsbc yeah if they haven't got a landline i hate ringing the bank that's my first worst phone call ringing the bank is it i can't remember my password well tell me your password now and we'll remember it for you what i did fonts from a password i said um i went i kept on ringing some i'm not gonna tell who it was i kept on ringing up and I went, what's your password?

28:38Oh, I can't remember. So I changed it to, I can't remember.

28:43Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, right. And I'm in. The ones where they're like, because obviously you've changed it so many times and you can't have the same one. I can tell you now, every time I need my Apple password, I just have to change my Apple password. But sometimes when I try to log into my Google or whatever, it goes, we're going to send you a code to your Android device. I'm like, I didn't even know how to fucking Android. There's something that I've got somewhere that a code goes to. Anyway, so we are, I'm in a hotel room now in the Midlands. I'm in Sutton Coldfield waiting to go. You are in Kings Lynn after being in Bedford.

29:19Welcome to the Travelling Salesman podcast.

29:23Josh Widdicombe:Exactly, two right, two happy family men out earning a bloody crust for their wives and children. My internet's fine though. Guess what my internet's been. I know this is probably impractical, but I think it might be best if you record from Sutton Coalfield every week. I'd get more sleep. You would. Even if that included driving here from five at night, driving in late at night, getting in at 2am, I'd still get more sleep. But yeah, no, so I'm in Sutton Coalfield. I did a gig last night for an electrical wholesalers where I went on after Alan Brazil, Jamie O 'Hara and Dean Saunders, who are talking about football.

30:00Nice event. And now I'm here. I'm going to play golf before I go up to do my gig. How are you, Josh? I can't remember what we were talking. It was a very strange episode. How's your parenting been? So I started the tour, Rob.

30:13Josh Widdicombe:I did Canterbury, Canterbury. Yes. And then I managed to worm away. I was meant to be going away. Suddenly, you're like... Where was you going away? No, I was meant to be on tour from Sunday to Friday morning. Because now you can't... Canterbury, you would have come home, maybe. Probably, yeah. Hour and a half, whatever, but now you're in Exeter. Well, I did Canterbury, Canterbury. Then I came home on Tuesday morning. Did they have to change all the hotel bookings when you moved house? No, we hadn't done them. Oh, right, fair enough. Also. Last minute, didn't it? Did you know you was moving before, but you were too scared to tell me because I told you you would move?

30:55No. And how do you feel about that, that I was right all along?

31:00Josh Widdicombe:I think you're one of the wisest people I know Okay so that's backfired I was trying to mug you off and then you just gave me a nice compliment Oh well done I'm the bad guy

31:13Josh Widdicombe:Happy with yourself are you Josh after that Because I've got a new sense of calm since I've left London Rob I don't mind Now you're in Kingsley Now I'm in a hotel in Kingsley I've booked a massage for this afternoon Rob in Kings Lynn. You're going to massage any extra digits. I mean, oh, that's a shame. That's a shame. You're not doing a corporate with Alan Brazil now, Rob. Come on. I'll tell you what, you do that Kingston night. You go, I love Kingston. I had a massage earlier. Much better in East Anglia with the extra digit. That'll work. I'm not saying you do the whole show of that, but you can do the give me six.

31:49Imagine if it descends

31:50Josh Widdicombe:into booing. What's that? Oh, last night, Rob. In Bedford. In Bedford. so a it was 400 degrees in the bedford corn exchange it was so hot a man had to leave in the first section because he was too hot right okay and then there was a woman fanning herself on the front row so this is a bit in with comedy but i suppose people might be interested um you know when you get comps for like your friends or family or people you know they're generally 10 rows back yeah they're sort of in really good seats but you can't see them because it's disruptive to see your friends and family yeah so my good friend karen hower who i danced with on strictly and her boyfriend simon came oh yes karen and simon legends yeah uh and uh they put them from rosetta that's absolutely wild it was so intimidating and they were just slightly to the left so i ended up being stood on the right for most of the show because you're just like i was like moving you know like when a football is constantly moving out of position because they're being played in the wrong position you're being pushed to the right by strictly i was being pushed to the right by strictly it was so weird they did that once before to me when my mother-in-law and father-in-law came at leicester square theater and they were right in the middle but yeah normally it's about 10 rows back so you can't see it too off-putting yeah god it was weird also because they're people who've never seen me before you don't want them to think you're shit so there's a lot on it do you know what i mean yeah so if it was like family or rome's or something you'd be like oh well you know they've seen me a lot of times this isn't all or nothing on tonight i think with that i used to feel like that a lot when people come to watch me oh my god they're in tonight i've got to do this got to do that but like i don't know if it's because i'm i'm so established in the tour now i'm just like it is what it is i know it works but when you're at the start it's horrible when anyone comes to see the start of the tour because that's when you get your confidence up and stuff yeah exactly at the end and also i'd done live at the apollo in the afternoon so i was fucking you've been really busy but i did live at the apollo because it got me tuesday off i could have done tuesday evening or wednesday afternoon i was like i'd rather a day off at home on tuesday good decision and work every night i've announced my bromley show on the night for january one o 'clock show 4 30 show eight o 'clock show oh he's doing it i'd rather do one day busy than spread it on three days exactly you've got your hair is sorry my hair's mild you look like do you remember mike flowers pops yeah i look at it or brian jones from ronald jones exactly what it is isn't it yeah little mod haircut it's quite off putting it looks like i'm a different person yes so i did some parenting so i went home for tuesday did the pickup my daughter's adapting really well to school um oh michael we've lost michael oh don't tell me he's he's coming no this is unbelievable this is if we've lost michael because he's living in fucking london we all need to move to fucking hotels in the middle of nowhere why don't we just rent a studio in sutton coldfield all together every day he's back he's back michael michael you went michael what the fuck's going on mate yeah honestly if you should have heard the hell out of the fuck i was just gonna stop this

35:17Josh Widdicombe:do you hear that sounds like breakfast is ready because quakers coming in hot with morning nutrition 100 whole grain oats and a good source of fiber to fuel the rhythm of your morning and kickstart your day. And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26. I, oh, let's go! Got a Sam's Cafe pizza order up. Mmm, mmm, mmm. You know the best part about this spicy Italian sausage? I voted for this topping. Yeah, just another perk of being a member. Come join us. Sam's Club. um so i did the school run went home to do the school run i'm really struggling with being away from the kids yeah that is that is the hardest bit of the whole tour the last tour i did which was sandwiched covid yes i don't think they're a bit too young to give a shit i don't think my son was even born or he was born like literally the week it ended and my daughter was three but now my daughter is seven and she really you can see she's gutted when i'm going and my son he doesn't give a fuck but my daughter that's tough yeah that that is that's the heart that i definitely think that's harder than i was saying this the other day the truth is when you're away it's easier to do the tour when you're away so if you wait for three nights and you can just focus on the tour and it's hard to be away from the kids but you can do it but i think not just being a comedian but whatever your job is whether you're a comedian you're a doctor you're a nurse you're a business person you can't be a really really good parent and a really really good comedian mechanic whatever it is one of them has to give and so it's it's a constant balance of that where you and and it's impossible to go no i'm going to be everything you can't it's actually impossible and then that's what sends people mad.

37:24Josh Widdicombe:Well, that's the thing they had. A lot of people said it was quite dangerous. Was it that thing, the women who can have everything kind of attitude? And it was really, this is actually quite difficult and dangerous because it pushes people to think. Everyone else is smashing it and nailing it and you're the one that's letting the side down, basically. Because life's compromises, right? Yeah, 100%. Yeah. So I am finding that a lot more difficult on this tour, I'd say. But there we go. I mean, you've done two days. i know

37:58Josh Widdicombe:you've been to canterbury for two days i tell you what though it's like the other things i've put in in in the i don't you know when you're like why have i you basically when you're on tour you have to go say no to everything else i can't do anything else in this time yeah and that includes like social things like i you'd i'd see bands i want to go and see announce a tour and i'd go oh i have got that night off. No, I can't do that. Do you know what I mean? I can't. So Romesh offered me a ticket to go and watch Arsenal play Man City. I thought you were going to watch him. I've not seen Romesh for ages.

38:31I love going to watch the football. It's always a good match.

38:33Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. And then it was like a good one as well, like a hospitality one. That'd be amazing. But I'm like... And it's a huge match. It's massive, Arsenal-Man City. It's like, if Arsenal lose this, it has a massive impact. But if Arsenal win it, it has a huge impact. Exactly. I can't wait. So Romesh is going to have the day of our lives. You love it. But that falls out. I mean, that's this Sunday. And this week I'm already been in the Midlands. And then I go to Buxton, then Oxford and Oxford. And I've got one day off with the kids on the Sunday before they go back to school. And then I go touring again.

39:01And I'm like, no, I can't spend that, you know, going to other things. And this is funny. You know, one of my daughters, my youngest daughter's sleep has been a bit disrupted with getting in the night. Basically, she always used to sleep really well, but she's a bit more now. She'll go to sleep in her room, but wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes. tries to get with us or one of us gets in with her if Lou or me need to sleep for whatever we're doing the next day. And then she was going to bed. It's so funny. She went, night, night. She went, night, night, roommates. And I went, what? Night, night, roommates?

39:36What do you mean roommates? And then she went, we all know what's going to happen.

39:44Josh Widdicombe:Well, we're full roommates at the moment, Rob, because my son had a built-in bed in the house, so his bed's been delivered. Oh, my God. I feel like we're just repeating the same conversation. I know, it's mental. I was thinking this earlier. It's probably been a year since me and Rose consistently slept in a bed together without the kids in the room. Isn't that mental? A year of your life. Like, there's been nights. Would you say in a seven-day week, how often would it just be you currently at seven so i was currently zero because my son hasn't got a bed because when he was at the old house and the bed was finished and you was a bit more you got into a bit that was fine that was fine um but then it got no because towards the end so we've got a problem at the moment i'd be interested in people's help on this actually um is that oh because we've you know when you're like oh we've googled it so come on mate you love ai ai i fucking love it oh rob even google don't google it anymore gives you the little gemini what's your problem with ai i started chatting to chat gpt because i was bored the other day oh i was a mate yeah what was you saying i was just saying i was feeling a bit sad and away and lonely oh really oh text me next time when you're often busy chat That GPT is always there.

41:17I might not reply instantly. What did chat GPT say? Just gave me some coping strategies. Yeah. And these coping strategies are okay, but if you sign up to the premium account, we can give you really good coping strategies.

41:29Josh Widdicombe:No, I've got the protection. You pay for the premium. Of course I pay for the fucking premium. It's a business expense. It's 20 pounds a month. You can't put a price on a big shiny metal robot arm around a shoulder. Exactly. It said something. and i was like all right don't take the piss where it was like it said something that implied it was human i was like come on now like a kind of where you're like i you're really good you're really good chat with gbt5 but don't say let's pretend this is real don't say i felt like that before or something like that um so i did that with chat gbt actually where it was more i i asked it something one i asked it why do i keep buying football shirts yeah and it basically goes in the deep to ask you more questions like a therapist would yeah and it extrapolates the normal generic reason why kind of thing and and also there was a thing where a kid in a shop and his mum was like stop being annoying like that and he like wandered off and he looked so sad and i was like oh my god i think i'm actually watching a slow build of emotional trauma live here there's this ain't your boy that the mum's going you're being annoying you've been annoying and i was like if she says that once that's fine but if that's a regular thing that she says to her child whenever he's trying to get her attention yeah so you gave him a 1996 palmer shirt and said that's why you feel bad this way but i just googled what what impact will it have on a child if you keep telling them that they're annoying just out of interest yeah and it broke down the psychological impact of that where what it will do then is that they'll have no self-worth and no confidence and they'll feel like they're always putting people out so they'll become a people pleaser because they automatically assume they're annoying everyone so then they'll try and change their personality to please people so they're not being annoying to bring value whereas they should just have inherent value anyway so it's it's quite interesting like that as a tool because a lot of the time it's ignorance is bliss any sort of behavior patterns from yeah totally psychology of it so this is the problem i've got and i'm interested in people's take on this because i've chatted gpt'd it obviously and rose has googled it because she's a fucking luddite right got the yellow pages out yeah thompson local my dad could rip up yellow pages with his bare hands remember that could he was your dad jeff capes i don't know but that was a thing that you know blokes would do in the 90s now a piece of piss it's four pieces of paper little pamphlet little pamphlet so go on what did you um what did you help with uh so my son he on the surface is enjoying school like enough not like loving it like my daughter's just like straight in she's made loads of mates because obviously they're a completely new school now but your daughter was already at school and your your youngest first reception year my daughter's pretty teflon with these things like she's i get the impression she loves tasks a bit like you loves a bit of academia loves a task with a job and i wear this i do that and you like likes the structure every day and and she likes she's really into friendship right so there's lots of people to chat to so she's like i've made this friend i've made like she made a friend and then first night she was making her friend a friendship bracelet and uh like crafting something and i was thinking just chill it out here a bit mate chill it out but my son he's in reception right he i feel much more protective over because he's very soft and he's um like he have i told you he's got girls shoes because what's it called when it's shiny that black shininess paint paint yeah so my daughter got patent yeah patent it's like a copy yeah is it patent like i'm like copyright so my daughter got patent shoes when we went to shoe and he was desperate for patent shoes because he's his favorite color is pink he loves sparkles all this and i'm really worried school's going to knock that out of him do you know what i mean because you're like i don't want him to yes but anyway so we managed to get the least girly girls patent shoes they're just like black patent shoes with a velcro but you're like these are like black pink you can't have all shoes should be black at school yeah they are black they are black but he's definitely wearing girls shoes all right okay um but he's like he's so sweet and soft and like innocent if that makes sense he's younger in the year and like he's not really interested in making friends and i've because boys aren't as much not sorry what i mean he's not as interested in the i've got this friend i've got this friend yes that makes sense he just plays with people but then the other day he came home and he was like he was like i've got something to tell you during break the head teacher i was his assistant and we and he called me mr widdekombe and we uh were in charge of the playground and then he was like i've got to tell mummy and they told rose as well and i was thinking that means you didn't have anyone to play with that's why my mind was going that's why my mind was going yeah but he but the teachers will acknowledge that and then yeah no it'll be fine and he'll be he'll be totally fine if he's got a fun thing to go and do at lunch who cares i know no i was like i was pleased but there's but he's really he's gonna be fine but the problem is this is what i was gonna ask so he's not reluctant with school or he's not like crying or anything but he started wetting the bed since going to school every night and the advice is you've basically just got to kind of keep your nerve but he's literally wetting the bed every night and we're not and it's like we're not blaming him we're just dealing you know you were doing all and he doesn't seem to give a fuck he's the person who gives least a fuck about it i've wet the bed yeah and i'll have to have a bath in the morning i'd be interested if that's happened to other people and how long it lasted and oh yeah that is very very common i think and for me i think a lot well i we know how to deal with it personally but i think you know you're probably doing it already but like lowering the water intake before bed and that's before bed and all that kind of stuff we just give him five pints of water before bed like yeah yeah of course and then we squeeze his stomach really hard because we love him so much when he gets in and he's asleep are we also to help him relax we put his fingers in water i don't know whether that's a yeah the old running water feature in the bedroom running water and helps the road sleep um yeah like i say if he's enjoying it during the day that's the main thing and that will it's probably just a little bit of low level anxiety there is a lot change he's moved house he's moved school he'll just sort of get into the groove i imagine but yeah if anyone's got any advice on that that'll be yeah very welcome so i'm a lot there's i'm imagine there's lots of parents with that going on um yeah and you just don't want him to be embarrassed by it do you know what i mean i know that's cool yeah so bring it up in a podcast That was one of the things I was worried about.

48:25Josh Widdicombe:Of course, yeah.

48:29Josh Widdicombe:Rob, as if this episode isn't carnage enough, we're now putting another bit, right? Yeah. Which is... It's multi-layered. It feels like one of Bowie's later albums. You're joined by someone. I'm joined here by my lovely wife, soulmate, Louise Beckett. Hi, Lou. Hello. Soulmate. Do you know what I got told recently about having a wife? By my agent. Right. She said. You don't know how lucky you are. Yeah. She said. If you've got, if you're in the public eye and you get interviewed, a piece of advice people give people in the public eye with a partner is if you're worried about divorce, never say the phrase, I owe them everything and I couldn't have done it without them because it can be used in court against you.

49:26Yeah. I remember that.

49:28Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, well, soulmate doesn't imply that. Yeah, I was thinking that soulmate was a well-chosen word, Rob. Yeah, soulmate, she's always been there, but it doesn't mean she contributed. She doesn't contribute. Well, Lou, you've got an announcement, haven't you? because we've sort of referenced you having a new project and being at work. What are you doing? I do have an announcement, and I'm excited and terrified to say I've written a book. Amazing. Congratulations. Congratulations. You haven't read it yet. I have. Yeah, true, you have actually. Yeah, and I don't read. Rob doesn't read. You're the first guest we've had on here.

50:06I've read the book. It's a very good book.

50:10Josh Widdicombe:I'm a ringing endorsement. I can read it. If I could read it, anyone can. Tell us about the book, Lou, because I know that you are a brilliant writer and this will be brilliant, but I also know that you consider self-promotion to be an uncomfortable experience. My whole body is crawling right now. Yeah, I know. I've really enjoyed writing it. I've enjoyed all the bit up until they went, you have to go and tell people now and people have to be able to see it and touch it and read it and tell you what they think about it. And then at which point I kind of go... I'm actually feeling uncomfortable with being sat next to you, Lou.

50:44You've given off so much stress energy.

50:47Josh Widdicombe:I had this text conversation with you, actually, Lou, about it, about how neither of us, we like to make stuff, but we don't like that stuff to ever be seen by other people. No, it starts to fall down a bit when you've got a contract. I know. And they do expect at some point to sell it. So you need to sell it now then? Yes. Rob, you've read it. Rob, you're a salesman. Well, it's called Lessons from a Default Parent, and it's out next year in February. But pre-orders are, I think, when this goes out, it's going to be live. Yes, live. Link in my bio, as the hashtag influencers say. Yeah, we'll put a link.

51:29We'll put a link. Right. So you can pre-order it now.

51:33Josh Widdicombe:You can pre-order it right now. You can go on Amazon or somewhere else. And tell us about it. I feel like I'm stepping in to do your promo for you, but you've got to do it. I don't want to start being accused of man's fault. Rob, you said that. I'll interview you. Okay, I'll sit back. Yeah. So tell us about being a default parent. Why did you decide to do this book? Well, I wrote a blog a little while ago, which was basically what I felt was a really long whinge, but it was very cathartic and made me feel better. Yeah, and it was great, and it was brilliantly written, and people loved it. And then I got so many messages from people who kind of read it and identified with it and had seen bits of maybe their own experience in it.

52:16Josh Widdicombe:And it kind of became this thing of its own. And, yeah, publisher approached, asked if I'd like to make it into a really, really, really long whinge. And thus the book was born. And have you enjoyed writing it? I've really enjoyed writing it. it's it's kind of it's a it's not very serious bits of it serious but it's not like a parenting how-to it's not a manual it's not a self-help it's I don't really know what it is it's it's something that people can find um companionship through or see themselves in or learn about what it's like to be a default parent yeah I've kind of that's exactly it actually I've gone through kind of stage by stage my experiences of parenting so far and then bits of what I've done bits of research for because when you're too tired sometimes you just need a bit of science to win an argument yeah a bit of data to pack you up um I don't think Rob's gonna bow to data I don't think he's the kind of person that would accept data would win an argument I don't believe the scientists my god instinct no but as someone who's read the book it's incredibly funny as well and it's written in, you can tell it's you writing it and it's your personality comes through.

53:28Yes, I have written

53:29Josh Widdicombe:it. There is no ghost writers. No, no. Exactly. It is. Unless you think it's shit when you read it, in which case, I'm not there. In which case, blame the guy that wrote Prince Harry's. Exactly. And I'll get a bit of a hammering in it. Do you like that? Yeah, a little bit. But hey, that's default parent, but it's a really good book. And how are you feeling about it coming out, Lou?

53:50I'm going to be sick in my own mouth.

53:52Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, but that's good because do you know what that means? you care we've interviewed people here and i don't think they give a fuck about their books this is genuinely something you've wanted to do and you've loved doing and that will come across to people who read it yeah i love i love writing i love reading books i love writing i was about to say i love reading books i love writing books this is the first book i've written but um no i've really really loved it and because this this was a big part of what i spoke about in the blog it It was so nice to have something that though this, it feels, it kind of goes against every instinct because it feels really selfish to go.

54:28Josh Widdicombe:It was mine. Yeah. It was kind of a real step back into, Oh, this is something I'm doing for me. Yeah. That's not necessary. It is obviously massively about the girls because it's, I'm talking about being a parent, but it's something that was mine. Yeah. I think women especially lose a lot of identity once they have kids because you become mum and then, you know, after a while they don't need you as much as they do when they're baby babies. and then you sort of lose that and then you lose it. So I thought I'd slag them off for a book instead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm grateful little gals. No, I don't say that.

54:59Josh Widdicombe:No, no. Difficult, isn't it? Yes. Oh, well done, Luke. What date is out? Actual book promo is going to be awful. February 12th. I'm going to have to pick you up. This is actual book promo. This is actual book promo. I've got to get a little bit slicker. This is the biggest audience for the book. Please, please all pre-order it. Because I'd really like to write another one, and if I only sell three copies, they won't let me. Exactly. The Lessons from a Default Parent, Lou Beckett, on Amazon now, pre-order. Is it Lou or is it Louise? I'm down as Lou. Nice. Because I don't like it when people go, I'm writing a book now, so I'm going to...

55:39Josh Widdicombe:I'm going to be Louise and Lou Beckett. Oh, it is there. It's on Amazon already. Is it on front cover now? Oh, it is, yeah. Yep, there you go. So it is, there'll be a link in my bio. It's on Amazon. I mean, all good bookshops I assume. Oh, look, there's a real book on the internet, Lou. Oh, my word. It's a real book. If Rob wants to stay married, it'll be on his bio as well. Yeah. And there's going to be an audio book. Oh, my God, it's on Hive, the ethical book retailer that I use to buy my books. I'm going to pre-order it now. All good bookshops, all good places. Go to hive.co.uk, buy that. And there will be an audio book as well.

56:16There you go. Oh. Lessons from a default parent. right thanks Sue now go and look after the kids right Josh let's talk

56:26I pulled the headphone out of the ear I was only joking about looking after the kids

56:32Josh Widdicombe:go and have a coffee thanks everybody it will be brilliant you'll be back on in February to do a proper interview I will yes yes please yeah definitely and yeah thanks very much in advance for anyone who orders it I appreciate it please thank you Well, let's remember this moment, Rob. By February, it'll be the hundredth bit of promo she does and she'll walk in and she'll reel out the same four anecdotes for every other fucking, for Simon Rimmer and Lorraine. Bets on how many times I vomit in my own mouth. I know. You've done well there, Lucas. I know that's been filling you with dread, just telling people that it's out.

57:09Josh Widdicombe:Well, it's in the U2. There you go. Well, well done, Lucas. A brilliant book. You should be proud. Thank you. I'm going to order it, even though I expect a free copy. Right, should we go back to the breakdown episode? Yeah. Right, I'll let you guys crack on with your important days and I'll see you later. See you later. Love you, Luke. Right, bye. Bye. Well done. Right, should we do a small business and then we'll go? Yes, we've got one here. Someone gave me one in Canterbury's. Let me just find it. I should warn you, when I walk away, I'm in my pants and T-shirt. So it's... I tell you what, I'll do this one while you're getting it, Josh, if you want.

57:47Hi Rob, Josh and Michael. Please, please, please can ask for a small business shout out from my sister and brother-in-law's company that my husband also works for. They are based in Suffolk and have a colour in kids clothing company called Selfie Craft Co. You can get personalised PJs and T-shirts, etc. Great for Christmas Eve boxes or presents sizes age 3 to 12. Website is selfieclothing.co.uk and I've asked them for a special parenting hell code. You can get 20 % off. whoa that's a good one using parent 20 the insta handle is selfie craft co s-s-e-l-f-i-e-c-r-a-f-t-c-o i really hope they get a shout out they work really hard and deserve all the success they are due but this would really help boost sales i'm sure you might get joe my husband a little bonus for me to spend love the pod love you guys thanks for the laughs anna i've got a lovely card rob

58:40Josh Widdicombe:that was given to me in Canterbury by someone whose name... I'll give you a tip. If someone gives you any letters or cards, don't read until after the gig because sometimes people can be really confessional and emotional and tell you quite a heartbreaking story and then you've got to go on and do 25 minutes about neighbours and soda streams or whatever you're up to.

59:05Josh Widdicombe:I've got those things, but the next tour is going to be good. As a huge Parenting Health fan, This is a cheeky request for a small business shout out. After having my own babies now aged 13 and 10, I realized why feeding support is so important. And I've retrained in an international board certificate lactation consultant. I passed the exam just before my little boy went to school and I've had my private practice for nearly seven years. So this is in Canterbury. She helps with breastfeeding, formula feeding, combination feeding, starting solids, right? And this week I've supported families in England, Scotland, Japan, USA.

59:38Josh Widdicombe:I help families with feeding their babies, whether that's breastfeeding, formula feeding, or a mix of both. I offer support for home visits to local families or online, and weekly feeding support groups in Canterbury, Whitstable, and Faversham. Feeding babies can be really challenging, and I'd love families to know. Skilled and experienced support is available. I do my best to help families as soon as I can after they get in touch, usually within 48 hours. I also have breast pumps available for hire. So this is Hannah Croft. There's a, okay. So it's Hannah Croft hyphen or dash. What's the one where it's like a, like a horizontal dash.

1:00:12Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. I B C L C. So that's the international board of something. .co.uk. Hannah Croft dash I B C L C.co.uk. And she'll get back to you in 48 hours and she can help you with everything from breastfeeding to formula feeding, combination feeding, starting solids. And this is in the Canterbury, Whitstable or Favisham area, but she can do online. Josh, I'll see you next time. Hopefully we're better in the net. Yeah. Right. Bye.