S11 EP16: Lou shaves Rob's back in the garden...

16:33You need to say, I don't know. I've not done it yet. I assume there's a train from Bristol to Manchester that I can get. There's definitely one from Birmingham.

16:39Josh Widdicombe:How long is that? Two hours to Birmingham. And then an extra, what, 45 minutes from Birmingham? Well, I don't know. I am going to spend longer on trains, right? But I fucking love the train. You love trains. That's fine. Do you know what I'm going to say, Rob? Yeah. Do you know what I'm glad we did? If I was to give some more advice, move somewhere you've got a connection to. Yes. So you live somewhere where you and Lou, near your families, near where you grew up. The thought of moving somewhere that you have got no real connection to and you have to totally build your life. That feels really difficult.

17:18Josh Widdicombe:I'm sure it's doable, but it must be challenging. Yeah, but it's much more of a challenge. Have you seen Plymouth play? No, because it's the same thing with the tour, isn't it? Yeah. You might be able to get a few Plymouth away games when you're away on tour. Well, I try and do that every time, but no dice. And also a shit. How are the kids getting on, though, with the new school? Is it better? My daughter loves the school. She's loving it. Oh, that's great, because I thought she would be more challenging because she'd already got established at the old one. Do you know what? She built up her confidence so well in the old school because it was smaller.

17:49Josh Widdicombe:And she was like a confident, one of the more confident kids in the class at the old school. And she's just made friends really easily. Oh, that's good. She's got her birthday in three weeks, Rob. I'd be interested in your take on this. So we're doing a London birthday. We're going to go up for the weekend and she's going to go ice skating with all her old mates from London. Will the ice rinks be up then? No, indoor. Where are you going to do that? There's a really brilliant ice rink in Clapton. Oh, in East London. Back to East London. Yeah, yeah. And all her friends live there. How do you feel about that trip up after you've just called them all complete fucking morons?

18:27I haven't.

18:32I haven't.

18:33Josh Widdicombe:Go back and listen to the tapes. You haven't. Fair enough. Yeah. So you're doing London, yeah? So we're doing that. But we are going to do temping bowling here. Yeah. After school on a Friday. Nice. We're just going to invite like five or six kids that she's met. Do you think that's all right, rather than inviting the full class of 20? There's been no birthdays yet. She doesn't even know the names of half the class yet. So take the decision away from her so she doesn't feel guilty and say... Oh, she doesn't feel guilty. No, no, but if you say like... And I was like, are you sure about drawing a line?

19:12I was the one who was feeling guilty. Yeah, I know. But if she's happy with that, then say like, you can have five kids, like five friends to go bowling. Yeah. And you take those five. Then what you could always do, if you want to meet the parents a bit more, you could always say like, look, they're coming, you can drop them, or you can hang around and have a drink at the bar. I think we're going to have the parents hang around because I don't. You don't know. I've never met the kids. Why don't you say that then? Just say, we're going to go Tempe Bowl on a Friday. We'll run the party. But you feel free to drop.

19:36But we'd love you guys to stay so we can say hello. And the kids, because kids don't know us yet. And we don't know anyone yet. Yeah. You know, we're going to get a few drinks and a bit of food and stuff.

19:44Josh Widdicombe:Oh, let's not push it. How about this? I think that's a good idea to go smaller while she's started. Yeah, you can stay. And there's drinks and food available, which you can buy yourselves. How does that sound? I just think really for the sake of what's going to cost you a couple of extra quid, you could, you know, why live rich when you can die a legend. Also, it's her birthday. So really, would you like to chip in for her to go bowling? No, no, that's not how it works. But I think, yeah, smaller is better because especially as they get older, they don't want big parties. I think they're shit.

20:14Whole class parties fucking. Imagine if you, right, this was adults and you've got a new job in an office and you work with 40 people and then your mum and dad come along will force you to invite every single person at your office to go to the pub. People are like, not them. Not them. But I think it's good doing a London one as well for her. That's nice. That'd be fun as well. You've got to go back for stuff, haven't you?

20:33Josh Widdicombe:Oh, Rob. Yeah. We got our cutlery back. Are we allowed to talk about the cutlery? No, I don't think we should yet. Can I show you how much was left in the house? So it turns out the removal people who did an incredible job missed two drawers of cutlery. yeah apart from this they did an incredible job i'm not angry i think it's quite funny two drawers of cutlery yeah and a drawer of trays yeah and the dishwasher were they supposed to take the dishwasher no no no that's all the stuff in the dishwasher all the stuff in the dishwasher here's uh how much was sent to us you would think though it would be easy i don't have a go at the removal people but like if the house is supposed to be empty it's supposed to be empty yeah you would think that wouldn't you so it's just that oh it's not that much quite a bit yeah so you did you have no cutlery then no so that was everything that was everything i don't know why you're showing it to me it's a lot of stuff i don't think that's a lot of stuff to miss no cutlery plates trays yeah i know but you were defending the delivery people earlier so i didn't feel like i was allowed to know i know that's because i was panicking no it's fucking mental that they didn't pack it yeah just checking just checking because the point of removals is everything in his house has to go.

21:49Surely, even when I'm going on holiday, I double check the rooms. Surely you go through the fucking drawers. Secret drawers. Dishwasher, I let them off.

21:56Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. But drawers, were they secret drawers? They were secret drawers. You know that, because it's London, Rob, we didn't have enough room for drawers. For drawers. So a drawer within a drawer. Oh, so now I'm back on the removal side then. Oh, yeah, yeah. You need to tell them about the secret drawers. Yeah, I know, we forgot. And what about this? And also, it's quite advisable to pack up some cutlery so you know where it is so you've got it on arrival. Yeah, well, cheers, mate. Horses bolted. It's good to know for when we move back next year. When you move back to London in a week. Do you want to start taking a bet on when we're going to move next?

22:27I think you've picked a good place to go to. I think if you'd picked a really mad village in the middle of nowhere, I'd be suspicious. But I feel like where you are, even though it is a bit longer, you've got really good transport links and your exit is a beautiful, lovely city and there's loads of stuff there. So I don't think you're going to struggle. This is a problem. I struggled to get a pre-booked cab to the station the other day. Yeah, I do a lot of driving to the station and parking there, which is easier. That happens a lot.

22:52Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, there's no parking at the station because it's a major city station. Oh, yes. And I had to drag a very heavy suitcase, 40-minute walk up and down hills across town. On the morning, I was doing Christmas Live at the Apollo and I was dripping with sweat. So is it a 40-minute walk to the station? Yeah. That's not too bad. That's not too bad if you haven't got the suitcase. I find the taxi situation infuriating. What you can do is set up an account with a local firm. I know, I need to do that. I need to do that. So getting about, how is Rose's driving? Well, she's passed her theory. She passed her theory?

23:29Because that will help if she can drop you off at the station.

23:31Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, she's going to try and pass as quickly as possible. Let's put it that way. When you're down there now, you need it. Yeah. That will really help your life. I know. Not too much pressure on Rose. Not too much pressure on my eyes. It's actually less life affecting. I'd say the biggest life change, Rob. Yeah, but you're dragging a suitcase across Exeter. I know, but I used to be driving to school every day. I will drag a suitcase across Exeter before I drive 1.6 miles in Hackney ever again. Yeah, fair enough. Anyway, I'm being insufferable. You're not being insufferable. Where do you think you've been insufferable?

24:03Josh Widdicombe:Just because I'm like, my life's so much better now. Yeah, I know, but that's fine. We've laughed at your life being a mess for ages. Let you have your flowers. But the good news is, if you're worried that life's going to settle down. Josh, we know you. The builder's coming to look around the house this afternoon. Why is it built? Just about when we're going to do the renovations. But I thought you just needed to decorate. That's what I mean. Now, if you want a prediction. Here we go. You're going to be in an Airbnb for two months within six months while they do the work. You know that hundred quid I paid to charity?

24:34Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. Double up quits? I mean, I've already paid it. Do you want to bet a hundred quid? A builder. We will not be going to Airbnb. Having a builder is a red flag to me. If you've got a decorator coming around or a plasterer or a plumber, the builder implies site management foreman. He'll be getting in a crew of guys to begin the work. No, but there should be a crew of guys for the decorating. So it's just decoration? Well, no, floors. Yeah. That's a builder's job, isn't it? Walls? Walls. Are some walls coming down? No. Are some going up? No. Okay. But walls are being altered in terms of paint.

25:12Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, but they're being painted, but they're not going to be moved or changed. There's no moving of walls. There is no moving of walls. There's no moving of walls. At all. At all. I think that might change. Okay. Can I predict? Can I predict? Let's do some predictions. The builder comes round. You just think it's a bit of decorating. I know what my big concern is with the builder. There's a bit of decorating, right? So I think this is what's going to happen. Lovely house, just needs a bit of a redecoration. Rose already deep down has got ideas that you don't even know about. Well, I think we can both agree with that.

25:42Yeah, there is stuff that's happening to that house already in her mind that you don't even know about. Builder will come around and go, yeah, sure, we can redo those floors. We could do that. Well, let me have a quick look at that wiring. Oh, that wiring, yeah, it's a bit old. It works, but, you know, if you're going to be in there for 25 years, you might want to – and that plumbing's not – it's about 10 years old now, so it's not going to – you're going to have to change it at some point. And if we're ripping all this wall out, We might as well do the pipes and the wiring while we're ripping all the wall out.

26:08And then I've ripped that wall out. Come here, Rose. Come here, Rose. Come here, Rose, is what the builder would say. If I move that wall back there and pull that back in, then that toilet would become bigger because these toilets were built back in the day when they needed to be that big. But actually, we could make that a bit bigger and move that around there. And just the layout, it will flow better.

26:23Josh Widdicombe:Oh, no. Oh, no. That's my prediction. Okay. Well, the good news is, Rob, because we're recording more than one episode this week. Yeah. I've got the builder this afternoon. And I'll be able to update you on how it went tomorrow. Is it just you on the build or is Rosa as well? Oh, Rosa's there. Yeah. What is your concern? You had a concern? Windows. Windows. Windows are expensive. Have you got double glazed windows? No. You're fucked. No, I'm not. Windows are meant... They're the one thing where we had... Windows are mad. The cost of windows is insane. Can we just all agree on this? New windows.

26:59If you had like a three-bedroomed house in like the suburbs somewhere, To get the windows, it's like tens of thousands for windows.

27:06Josh Widdicombe:It's mad. It's insane, windows. You're going to need new windows. It's just whether you decide to get them or not. Exactly, yeah. Now, we know that Rose will convince you to get new windows. No, because we might be looking at phases here, mightn't we? Different phases of work. Yeah. Like you did at the old house, redo the entire kitchen, put it on the market. You know? Yeah, yeah. Those phases. Anyway, well, let us know what the builder says. Yeah. But Windows, you've already resigned yourself. I will bet you 100 quid. You might not be able to. To charity. Yeah. Which I'll make by selling my old Windows.

27:42Josh Widdicombe:I'll bet you 8 quid. I'll bet you 8 quid to charity that we don't move any walls in the next year. Yeah, that may be true, but there will be hidden costs. Anyway. I've got a problem. Yeah. I've been watching Cool Run-Ins with my kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great film. Oh, no, is it dated badly? It hasn't, actually. Because I watched Trading Places recently, and I tell you what, you don't want to watch that with your kids. I mean, well, the main problem is in 2025, my children have spent the whole morning talking with a Jamaican accent. Oh, yeah, that is bad. That is bad. I don't know how to deal with it because I don't really make it a bigger problem than it is because it's all quite innocent the same way as – Give me an example.

28:17So, for example, they watch Minecraft and they're – And what would they say? Steve, love a chicken. Harder than hell. Steve – because it's just something for the thing. Yeah, yeah. So what's happening now is, would you like to breakfast? Yeah, man. But he's like, Sanka, you're dead. And he goes, yeah, man. That's the running joke of the whole thing is, Sanka, you're dead. And he goes, yeah, man. But obviously in a drunken accent. So my seven and nine-year-old are wandering around going, yeah, man. And did you say you shouldn't do that at school? I just sort of ignored it, hoping that they'd get bored of it

28:51Josh Widdicombe:and not make it a thing because it feels like. Bear in mind, and it was a different time. That catchphrase, I think we were doing that when I was 10 or whatever it was for two years after watching Cool Runnings. Now that is... Because once I'd watched Cool Runnings, don't cancel me, but I didn't know at the time. As soon as you said that, I thought, I did that for fucking years. I don't know. It's weird with certain accents, isn't it? Because if you watch an American film and you did an American accent... It's because it's a catchphrase, right? Yeah, it's a catchphrase. It's like if you showed her the mask, she'd say that for a while.

29:29She's not thinking, I like the Jamaican accent.

29:33Josh Widdicombe:She's thinking that's that funny catchphrase. From that thing, yeah, like the Steve's love of chicken. So I didn't say anything. The accent actually is not a great one. It's a bit more like, yo, man. But which in school, if she was to say it and she went, yo, man, I don't think unless I've told them that they've watched Cool Runnings, you'd be like, why is she speaking with? But it's not. And she's not dressing up. No, no, no. As the characters. No, no. You're just saying, yeah, Matt, but hopefully it will stop. I don't think you'd say it to your teacher anyway. I don't think you'd say it to your teacher.

30:01Josh Widdicombe:You might say... You've done your homework. There's a chance... Michael, is this okay? I don't know what's going on. There's a chance it'll spread around the playground like wildfire. Oh, yeah, they just all get into it. They'll walk around with little eggs that they kiss before they do for you. But also, bear in mind, her watching that, what year was that? 94, probably? Yeah. So that's 30 years old. that's the equivalent to when you were 10 being shown a film from 1967 or something like that It's a Wonderful Life yeah it is mad that you're showing her that like if your parents had sat you down and watched Zulu you'd gone, are you fucking insane?

30:42I think it's because it's colour like not black and white when I was a kid I just wouldn't watch a black and white film yeah I gave up on Wizard of Oz until I found out yeah exactly I've got an answer to you for that question that we ask our guests. The one thing that frustrates you about your partner's parenting. Yeah. You're not going to do the bit that you love. No, you already know that. Now, Lou's going to get the right on with this and she's going to want to come on for a right of reply. I imagine she'll probably fucking do an Instagram story snagging me off. I'm looking forward to the voice note.

31:12When Lou brushes the girl's hair in the morning. Too hard. Yes. And she doesn't give a shit. I don't know about that, and I don't think she's doing it on purpose too hard, but what I would say about Lou is, you know, some people have got a delicate touch, like a surgeon. Just some people glide through. Like Zinedine Zidane? Yes, like a surgeon has perfectly manicured nails and has a delicate touch to be a surgeon. Whatever the opposite of that is, that's what Lou has.

31:37Josh Widdicombe:She's clumpy and clumsy. Is that what you're saying about Lou? No. That seems to be what you're saying. No. She's got the delicate touch of one of those guys that does the pneumatic drill on the pavement that you walk past in the big headphones. Is that what you're saying? If Lou wants to get up off the sofa and she's laying next to me, she will put her hand on my leg and just push off it like I'm, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Lou very kindly shaves my back hair. So what? You don't know about this? Who are you, Malcolm in the Middle? What's going on? Every few weeks we stand in the garden. In the corner?

32:06In the garden? Yes, so it doesn't go on the floor. But you could sweep up inside. Yeah, I know, but the wind takes it and I imagine birds use it for a nest.

32:14Josh Widdicombe:Every few weeks? I'm so hairy. How quickly? Does she do the front? Well, she does the top of the front that I can't see, and then I do the tits down. This is fucking mental. How have you still got a sex life? I love the way you've assumed we do. But how soon into your relationship did this disgusting habit begin? Well, it's not disgusting. It's just I can't reach it. And it makes my T-shirts puffy because I'm like Tom Selleck, mate. It's so thick. Yeah, but Tom Selleck didn't get his wife to shave himself. I know he just left it to grow. But when she's doing it, though, when there's a bit of loose hair, she'll just, like, hit me.

32:51Your hair's so puffy that the T-shirts will inflate on you like the Michelin mask. Yes, yeah. If I leave it, it gets to about an inch and a half deep. Yeah, all right. I don't want to talk about it. So when it gets to that big, I trim it. But then if there's a loose hair on me, she'll sort of, like, hit me, but so hard.

33:07Josh Widdicombe:And is it, sorry, shaving it with clippers? Yeah, just clippers. Like a sheep. Yeah, like a sheep. But then when there's a loose hair, she'll, like, jab at me, You pick it up like she's quite rough with her hand. Can I ask, is it all year round or in winter are you allowed to do it inside? Sometimes we do it in winter because it's quite funny how cold it is. And Lou will be like with a coat on and I've got it on top of my head. But I can only do outside in the winter if I've got like slippers on. If I'm going barefoot. This is mental. This is mental. I'm sure loads of people. No, they're not. I'm actually going to ask the girls to start doing it instead of Lou.

33:41Oh my God, that's worse. That's scarring. That's scarring, isn't it? Every time she brushes her hair, the girls get hurt or burst into tears. Now, a lot of the time, the girls are looking for it. It's a bit like a footballer trying to get someone sent off. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of feigning, but she's stronger than she realises. Yeah, yeah. And she does it. And I'm just like...

34:02Josh Widdicombe:When she's shaving your back, what a fucking phrase. Do you ever go, could you just be a bit less rough with that shaving? Because you're leaving some red marks on my back. Yeah, but she'll just go, stop complaining. but she is i think you can't complain at that point i know you've got your wife to shave your back in the in a field complaining about that but i'm under i can see how i wouldn't let her brush my hair that's what i'm saying when you lived in a were you in a terrace street you're certainly in a street with the garden next door yeah where were you having your back shaved then still in the garden it would be down like the closest bit to the fence so they'd have to really stand over the fence to look at yeah yeah kind of thing so i'd find a corner where no one could see me oh my word it's disgusting but i just don't know how to communicate to lou to brush more gently but then she'll say something like well you don't understand why don't you do the brushing i suggest this yeah but obviously i'm not always there but like yeah but that's because you're not brushing it properly because you're not doing the underneath bit which gets mad you're only doing the top bit of all i just think if she used more of the spray and did it more softly spray what's the spray detangle spray but look she's gonna go mental about this because it winds her up but i just think she's too rough with the hair brushing and i've said it now god i can't expect guests to be honest if i'm not honest can i just check lou has a book out it's announced one week suddenly you feel a bit insecure you decide to start having a go on the podcast or is it the ultimate pr is this the ultimate pr age divorce over back shaving get the headlines promote the book and then rekindle so what would you do if lou left you back wise if lou left me back wise what i normally do is this is this is mental so i just do it myself so that the shoulders are gone and then it's just there's just like a strip that i can't reach in my lower back but then that's a big furry strip it's the same way as trying to put sun cream on your own back yeah there will be a gap so i just except a little circle of it.

36:04What about your shoulders? I can do that myself like that. No, no, but are your shoulders hairy? Yeah, so it's full chest and belly, shoulders, top of arms and back. Wow. What about your legs? I might get a laser circle. You can get laser hair removal on your back. It's just a... You don't want it too... No, but I don't mind a hairy chest, but it's like I don't like it on the back and then it puffs up on my shirts and I haven't got a neck already. So if I've got... If it's all puffing up, I'm losing another inch of neck.

36:29Josh Widdicombe:Michael, I hate to make suggestions for quotes for the name of the podcast, but can we call this one Lou Shaves Robs Back in the Garden? With a winky smiley face. Do you have a hairy chest and back, Michael? I'd say a chest is probably an eight. The back, no, until the last few years, it's probably like a six on the shoulders. And when did this start? A hairy chest, mid-twenties? And how do I put this? What about your arse? It's horrible. not the actual cheeks they're fine but the innards it's a fucking coral reef down there

37:15but what do you do I'm not going to go into a clinic and put my legs up and get someone to wax my arsehole no exactly waddle into the Glades Bromley shopping centre and put some poor beautician through that oh my corn's come back on my foot by the way while we're here How do you get that? How do you get a corn? I don't know. It's a build-up of dead skin, a corn. Oh, God. Why don't you get Rose to just file it down in the garden for you? Yeah, I might do that. Oh, I've got to talk to you about Greg Davis's shoe. At my wedding. Yeah, your wedding. So, your wedding in London. I've got such a blocked nose, it's awful.

37:48It's okay. We can't even know it. Sorry, I'm just going to put the mic off so I can... Oh, no, he's sniffing it up and swallowing it. Oh, that was horrible. Sorry. It was worse watching that in silence than hearing it, I think. Sorry. It's all right. I've got a head cold. Shut up, you're head cold. It's not a thing. Have some Sudafed. Why? That would be acknowledging it's a thing. To unblock your nose, but it's not enough to sort of whinge about. You unblock that, crack on. Okay, breakfast, it's 20 past 12. Greg Davis, at your wedding, he didn't know what to wear because he was like, it's not a proper wedding because it was like the London party because you got married abroad.

38:20Yeah. He turned up with like a nice sort of smart, casual outfit, but with trainers on, and then he had some shoes in a bag. Ah. Right. So anyway, he was walking around with a bag and I was chatting to him going, what have you got? He went, I brought shoes. And I was like, all right. I went, Kitty, I thought I might be smart. He went, but I don't know where to put them. I went, well, just leave them out the back or put them by a table. She went, no, I don't want them because they're really special shoes. I was like, why are they so special? And oh, they're like, because he's got such massive feet.

38:47They're like handmade ones. His agent got him when he was hosting the Royal Royal Performance. It's like a present. I think they're like lob or something. I don't know. Anyway. Loeb. Whatever. He's got massive feet and they were handmade to fit him perfectly. He went, oh, I don't want to lose him because they're quite sentimental. They mean quite a lot. I don't want to lose it. I went, oh, fair enough. Just change into them. Put the trainers in the bag. Well, exactly. Anyway, I carried on chatting to him. I ended up going to another bar with him after yours finished and a few others. Anyway, the next day he texted me.

39:15He went, did you steal one of my shoes? And I went, no. He went, you definitely did, little fucker. Give me my shoe back. And this is honest truth because I swear in my life I did not nick his shoe. I went Greg I did not someone's nicked my fucking shoe and you're the only person I spoke to about my shoes and then I said you didn't take it that well I said well do you think the second bar we went to I think you put your bag down because we were standing up chatting do you think someone's just nicked one and he went well why would they just nicked one shoe I went good point well they'd be drunk and it's a pretty big fucking shoe

39:51Josh Widdicombe:did you say that yeah I was like, if I saw a shoe that big, it's quite fun to see a shoe that. I was quite impressed by the size of the shoe when I see the shoe. So if you're 18 and you're drunk and you see a bag of massive shoes, you nick a shoe. But he still maintains I nicked his shoe, but I never nicked his shoe. If anyone stole from a South London pub, when did you get married? What year was that? 2019. 2019. What date was your? September the 28th. It was seven years ago this week. Have you had a big shoe, like a canoe, for seven years, minus six days? 2019 in September. I think we were somewhere in London Bridge.

40:29You were East London, wasn't it? Your bar? It was Exmouth Market. So it was Exmouth Market. Then we ended up going somewhere else, like London Bridgeway. If you've stolen a massive shoe. That's worth a lot of money. Yeah, get in contact.

40:42Josh Widdicombe:And I'll pay you a reward for charity. Oh, there we go. That's nice. Well, talking of nice, Rob. Yeah. Shall we do the small business show? Oh, absolutely. Oh, by the way, as well, sorry to interrupt. You've got to watch Joe and Stacey on BBC, their second series. They take all seven children skiing and they've got like a 17-year-old, a 15-year-old, a six-year-old, a three-year-old and a one-year-old and they get the train and it looks fucking chaos. Bloody hell. Just watch that if you've got kids and you think holidays are stressful. Watch Joe and Stacey take them skiing. It's absolutely mental.

41:17Josh Widdicombe:It's so funny. Rose's sister is currently working on Sort Your Life Out with Stacey Solomon. Oh, yeah. And said she's absolutely lovely. She's amazing. So she's the real deal. She's the real deal. But like it just, they've got great intentions, but the organization's chaos. It's so funny. Can I also say, I'm halfway through it and I can't wait tonight to finish watching the Charlie Sheen documentary on Netflix. Oh, I've watched it all. Yeah. It's mad, isn't it? It's fucking insane, isn't it? Jesus Christ. It's a good watch. I like him. I don't know what happened. I don't know. See, I felt like I liked him.

41:51Josh Widdicombe:I was like, oh, this is such a... Does it trail off towards the end, your like of him? A little bit when it gets a bit like they speak to him about some more serious allegations and he denies all of it. But then you sort of think he was so fucked up on, like, crack cocaine. God knows what he did and could even remember. Well, I'll come to that. I look forward to that. Yeah, that's how I felt about it. It was a bit like, oh, Jesus, this is a bit dark. Have you watched it, Michael? No, but I saw, I told you the story when I saw Charlie Sheen around this time, the sort of peak of his fame. He put on a show, I was in New York, he put on a show at Radio City Music Hall, which was sort of an evening with Charlie Sheen.

42:28Oh yeah, that was after he got his, yeah, he got his show cancelled. They cover that in the documentary.

42:32Josh Widdicombe:I was in New York at the time when we went to it and it was a coin toss between getting to meet Tina Fey at a book signing and going to see Charlie Sheen. You made the right decision because that's historic. He came on stage, he was absolutely fucked. on god knows what but he could barely walk or stand proceeded to tell a series of anecdotes for about 45 minutes when he walked on like that was part of you excited yeah in a sort of quite way it was it was you know rubbernecking car crash yeah this is going to be one of the greatest nights of you know this will go down in history what actually happened was he sort of slumped in this armchair on the stage didn't complete a single anecdote for 45 minutes was it just him just him crowds started to turn on him and people were getting like sort of booing and restless and then about 45 minutes he said oh you know i'm going to bring my my girls on my ladies on i think two or three of his uh in quotes girlfriends came out goddesses didn't he yeah passing no judgment i suspect they were being paid for their their time and their company they came on stage sat on his lap as our old performers formed over him for about five minutes and then he stood up, looked at his watch, and he went, okay, that's all I've been contractually obliged to do and just walked off stage.

43:43Josh Widdicombe:Jesus, wow. And I thought the place was going to ride it. Was there a clause? No, no, no. People were fucking living because we paid about$250 for these tickets. I'm going to say, if you've bought those tickets, you know what you're fucking signing up. It's not like you've bought tickets to see Coldplay and Chris Martin stumbled on and not known anything. You know what you're fucking buying tickets to. Oh, dear. All of that's covered in the second episode, so you're going through an absolute treat. Right. Well, another good recommendation is the Dallas Cowboys documentary. Oh, yeah, I really want to watch that.

44:13That's really good.

44:14Josh Widdicombe:I've got the Hearn one to come as well. I mean, it's a great era for docs. Good morning. I'd like to give a shout out to my brother-in-law's small business. Angus runs an inflatable theme park and works so hard traveling all over the country to provide a great day for two to 14-year-olds. He has over 20 inflatables, including a helter-skelter, huge slides, and themed castles. He's in Taunton. Here we bloody go. Just five minutes from the M5 in July and August, then off to Porter's Head. So it provides a great stop for anybody traveling down to the coast with kids needing to burn off energy during the summer.

44:49Josh Widdicombe:Hopefully, Josh might pop into one of his trips down south. This was sent a while ago. Also, I tell you what you don't want to be doing, robbing an inflatable for the EMPARP. What's that? Popping in. Am I right? Oh, in case you burst it. Cool. Yeah, absolutely. If you don't stick around with a small business, you're missing out on some humour. That's what I'm saying. There's some great puns coming your way. Yeah, more information can be found, not on the humour, on the theme parks at https colon forward slash forward slash inflatablethemepark.co.uk or inflatablethemepark.co.uk on Facebook. Keep up the fantastic work keeping parents sane.

45:25Josh Widdicombe:Sophie. I've got one here. Hello, Rob, Josh, and Michael. we'd hugely appreciate a shout out for our small business, A Little Brush, based in Ware, Hertfordshire. My husband, Matt, is an incredible... Well, a bit of a girl, a bit of fun. Stick around for the small business. There's also humour. Have some heart. We're trying to do a small business shout out here. Oh, here we go. My husband, Matt, is an incredible watercolour artist, as well as the best dad to our two young kids, three and five, and has built up a portfolio of almost 200 wedding venue portraits, which we sell as personalised prints, perfect gifts for weddings and anniversaries.

45:58We take on customer orders for original house portraits and pet portraits too. And I also design bespoke wedding stationery. I went full time with running the business in Jan and I'm loving the flexibility it brings to manage work and life alongside the kids. But we could definitely do with a bit of help to get our name out there. You can find us at alittlebrushuk or alittlebrush.co.uk on the website. Now listeners can get 20 % Set off everything in our website shop using code PARENTINHELL. No spaces, all capitals. Matt and I both love the podcast. He paints in the evening while listening, and I've bought many things after hearing about them on your shout-out, so I know the impact you guys can have on small businesses.

46:40Thank you so much, Abby. 422 months. There you go. A little brush.

46:45Josh Widdicombe:Oh, that's nice. Can I just also thank? Oh, fuck. I can't find it. What is it? I don't know. I can't find it, so I won't thank them. Someone gave me some incredible biscuits. And we'd feature... You sound like a fucking dog. She's a lovely lady on the walk. She sells biscuits. And it was part of our... Doesn't matter. She'd done small business. You want to wait until you get it? Get a full one and do it properly? Oh, no, she'd already been on small business. Oh, right, sorry. And then she came to my gig in Fairham and she'd made some biscuits to thank us because it had been really great for her.

47:25Josh Widdicombe:So thank you to everyone who uses the small businesses we share out. And I'm sorry that I can't remember the business name off the top of my head. These watercolors are lovely. You can get your house done, Josh, your new house. Yeah. We can get your old house done to remind you. Yeah, picture the old house and the new house. But you in it crying, trying to do the bins and find your car. So then every time you look at it. I'm still a bit worried about the bins at this stage, Rob. I haven't managed to get a second black bin already. You just got to order them off the internet. Yeah, but I don't.

47:52Josh Widdicombe:You're just too tight. You're waiting for the council to do it, aren't you? Oh, also, let me tell you about tomorrow. This is tomorrow. I had to chase the bin man down the street in my socks. It's not tomorrow. It's next week for you guys. See you then. Bye. Bye.