S11 EP3: Ross Noble

26:11She's seen the for sale sign and she's literally, I haven't even said anything. She went, don't even think about it. That's fine. So I was working on this show in London, and then I came back. She sent me some pictures, and she went, right, this is the house. So they move out, ship all the stuff. They move in, set everything up. You know, there's not huge requirements. She knows that positioning of the telly is quite important. But anyway, so I get to the airport, and she's texted me the address. So now I'm in London for like a month. I don't know where I live. Like, I don't know where my family lives at this point.

26:52So she's texting me the address. So I get a cab, airport. I'm driving, and the guy's going, oh, you know, you come? And I'm saying, yeah, yeah, you know, I can see me, wife and kids and everything. And then he pulls up in the street and he goes, which one's your house? And I went, I'm going to see that one maybe. And he's going, you said it was your house. Now, yeah, I've not seen it yet. And, like, I've been talking about the wife and kids and everything. He thinks he's delivering a stalker. So we lived there for, we had this beautiful house down, you know, by the ocean. It had all the boxes you could tick for like, you know, the sort of aspirational keeping up with the Joneses bullshit lifestyle.

27:35And I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle, I just couldn't handle those people around. I'm quite a sociable person, but I do like being on my own. So I convinced my wife and I thought, right, this would be good. I said, look, we can't live anywhere that's flammable, but we could buy another farm because I like the space. I said, look, because I was like, no, no, I can live in a regular. It was a very suburbs-y, a very suburb-y. Yeah, you know, like a sort of seaside-y type. Was this in Melbourne? Was this in Melbourne? Down on the Mornington Peninsula. It's beautiful, like beautiful bit anyway.

28:09Josh Widdicombe:Is it where I imagine Adam Hills lives, that kind of house? I nearly killed him actually at the place that burned down. Yeah. Because the thing is, when anybody came round, it was always, like you say, it was kind of a Mad Max thing. I'd just be like, you know, we'd go out looking for kangaroos and snakes and stuff. And I used to have people on the back of the pickup truck and everything. We'd be out in the dark with lights and everything. And I said to Hilsey, I was like, he said, I'll teach you how to play tennis. I said, all right, I'll have to teach you how to ride a motorbike then. So I put him on a motorbike.

28:39But I forgot, of course, because of his leg, you need this thing going on. And he literally wound it up and he went, and he just fired. He just rocketed off. and then the bike went and he was sliding along. And I just went, oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, it was pretty full on. And I went, do you want to teach me Tennyson?

29:00But, yeah, anyway, so we lived in this, and then I was just, I couldn't handle living where we were living. So I convinced my wife. I said, look, let's buy another farm and let's do, you ready for this? This is slightly off the parenting thing, but it does come right. Well, your kids are there. I said, I know the kids have got everything they could possibly want in this house. Yes, I know that on paper, this is a bit of a swimming pool. Yes, we had a swimming pool. Look, it was a dick's house, right? A dick's house. It was a dick's house. It was one of those things where... It's the kind of house I'd definitely have if I moved there.

29:36And it doesn't mean we can't be friends, Ross, but I love a dick's house. Yeah, I'm just saying, right? Look, it was lovely, but yeah. Dicks are lovely sometimes. So the T-shirt, there's a bit of merch for you to sell. So anyway, I just said, look, this was my clever way of reframing. I didn't say, hey, listen, I want to move back to a farm and return to my outdoor ways, right? Because I love having a tractor and I love doing all that. Anyway, I said, hey, you love watching Grand Designs just like me. Why don't we? Oh, yeah, exactly. hey, why don't we do the old Grand Designs thing?

30:20Josh Widdicombe:It'd be fantastic. I don't think the moral of Grand Designs is ever, and it turned out well. The moral of Grand Designs is, and he had a breakdown and lost everything, every fucking week. Again, yeah. Again. Yeah. So I was like, right, we're Grand Designs in it. So I said, here's what we'll do. Let's sell this incredible house that most people would be swanning around in going, oh, that's very good for entertaining. So we found this place It was out of it Still on the peninsula It was an absolute shack of a place Like literally Tiny little run down farmhouse So we looked at it And my wife's got a weird thing about people dying in houses So yeah, no one's ever died in this place But it's a run down shack And I said, right Let's buy this place How old are your kids at this point?

31:10This would have been You'll be able to work it out But when I tell you, we moved in, nothing fitted in the house because we moved from the big house. We moved in and then it was rough. It was rough and ready. I said, oh, it'll be really good for the kids. Not going to be that long because we've got all the thing. And she went, look on the news. Look what's happening in China. No.

31:33Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. So literally we moved in and boom, COVID hit. and the upside is had a lot of space outside, but the downside was I had removed my children from what could only be described as a luxury lifestyle and put them into a run-down shack. This is, you know, at the end of Ad Break 1 on Grand Designs. Yeah. And then, well, we're at Ad Break 1 at this point. Yeah, COVID hit. You couldn't get any building supplies. Everything stopped. it was game over and then it was that thing of us going yeah but it's fine we can still do this yeah i'll just have to move the tour a little bit and then my wife starts going you do know that all you do is work live that is your thing and i went yeah it'll be fine the theaters will reopen soon and she was literally going this could be five years i'm not qualified for anything else i know you guys have got the telly stuff on us just like she just went we are screwed so my kids were literally they went from all they've known when we lived in the uk basically my kids went from having a swimming pool and having their own bedrooms and a big play room with their own like a dick's house and uh all of this stuff games room and pool table and all of that so the house we had in the uk that was the same sort of thing i had a cinema and it was just it was a dick's house and we moved literally the windows were broken the mice were so bad that we got a guy out and he said he said i'm gonna have to use poison to get rid of these and then he poisoned all the mice and then the mice they then went outside and died and then the chickens ate the mice, all of my chickens, they all died.

33:34And then the dead chickens started attracting snakes. Jesus Christ. The next door neighbor came over and just went, what is going on? We've just found a brown snake. So that's happened. But I maintain that that was the best thing that happened to us as a family. My family do not agree. But, and then obviously we got all the planning permission through we had the site all ready to go and you know like in grand designs whether like we're pushing on the image of kevin mcleod appeared and i turned to my wife and i went shall we give up on a dream and she went yes we will and we sold the farm and we bought a house there's house that i'm sitting in right now welcome back to dicksville everybody

34:29so yeah so that was what are we now 25 so yeah so my eldest was 13 so they literally and this was a shack of a place and it was i think long term it's good for them it's not great for a kid to grow up in a dick's house their whole life exactly because the danger is they get used to dick they become a dick they become a dick a hundred percent because it's hard you know it's one of those things where i always used to say this thing to my wife where i'd go like they've got so many opportunities and they just have like i don't want them to grow up as like these sort of privileged kids and my wife pointed out they can't not it's pokes common people isn't it do you know what i mean it's like you just have to accept that you know if you're lucky enough to have be able to give them all these opportunities you've just got to try to constantly on a minute by minute basis remind them how bloody lucky they are you know what i mean you've got to see your privilege but you're not entitled and you might be surrounded by entitled people but you can't be like that but you can't do that by saying well you're not gonna get this or that you know i think i can see though from your hard work you know you're such a graft and you've come from not much to have this amazing career and life and you know you going on that tour with three month old to do 80 shows when you've lost everything and had basically post-traumatic stress that is hard graft that got you that so they will be aware of there's no heavy lifting involved and that's the thing maybe not for you but it's no one else can do what you go out and do ross do you know what i mean but again this is the problem it's that thing of like from their point of view i can't turn around to them and go, it's a lot of work.

36:12They can sort of sit, you know, when I'm away for ages, yeah, but at the same time, it's one of those things where they look at it and they just go, well, is that work? You're not doing a lot of prep, are you? Let's face it. You're not locking yourself in the office. That is working on the show.

36:30Josh Widdicombe:Let's talk about the tour that is making them into dicks. Yes. It's financing the dick life. Well, I think it's financing the recovery from the old-day It's just farm move. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's look at the talk. Do the dates, Josh. Shall we do the Australian ones as well? Yes, please. You're going to Upway, Bairnsdale. Yeah. Wangareda, Pakenham, Melbourne, Bellrose, Sutherland, Penrith, Sydney, and the Blue Mountains in August and September. Oh, that's what I was going to say. I saw, Rob, you were talking about Therule. You were talking about your Therule gig. Yes. We'll come back to my team.

37:08Yeah, promote mine for a bit if you want. I'm struggling in Thoreau to sell a ticket. Thoreau, wherever it is. I'm going to be across the UK. When do I start October? Going to be in October. Running right through till next year. Rossnoble.com. I'm going everywhere. That's all people need to know. You're going everywhere.

37:23Josh Widdicombe:October, November, February, March, 30 months. Thoreau? Yes. It's Anita's Theatre Thoreau. It's one of the weirdest theatres on the planet. And just so you know, because I saw you at Thing's here, and oh my God, I've sold out in Sydney. And the rule is basically, it was Anita's theatre. It was Anita's husband ran the theatre for years and it's only just changed hands. It's now run by Live Nation. But the theatre itself is completely, like it's a great theatre and it's a great town and the audiences are great, but there is no internal advertising mechanism and it is not part of a bigger network.

38:06so if you can sell tickets in Thoreau you've got a loyal following is what I'm saying well I'll tell you now Ross I can't

38:17so that would be great if I could but at the moment I can't and at least that explains why and Canberra Canberra do they buy tickets late I've been told is that true? no well you know what your promoter is very generous

38:37you know what that says to me that your management really have got your best interests at heart that they've told you that they're good guys yeah because your camera date seems to be nearly sold out which is weird considering they buy tickets late yeah right now get up to 15 off select storage solutions put heavy duty hdx totes to good use, protecting what's important to you. The solid, impact-resistant design prevents cracking, and the clear base and sides make items easy to find even when the totes are stacked. Find select shelving and tote storage up to 15 % off at the Home Depot to organize every room in your home, from your garage to your attic.

39:21Visit homedepot.com, how doers get more done. Tomorrow morning is knocking. Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha frappuccino drink or a sweet vanilla, smooth caramel maybe, or a white chocolate mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries. So you're going everywhere, Ross. So how long are you away from the family for in the UK doing this? So I leave in October, I get back, I break it up, so I'll do like the first half of the tour and then I'll come back to...

39:56Josh Widdicombe:About six weeks. Yeah, about six weeks, something like that, and then I'll come back and do the same again. And yeah, I try and sort of, it looks like a massive tub. Actually, I'll chunk it down and, you know, school holidays and I try and sort of organise my tour around the family. So will the family come over with you? No, no. And they want to move back, you said. Do they want to move back to the UK, the teenagers? They do. They're very much desperate to move back. They're done with Australia. They want to come back to the UK. So when you start seeing me popping up, I think, bloody hell, Ross is popping up on things.

40:31That's when I move back. The kids have won. Oh, no, that's fine. I don't care. Whatever. Does your wife want to move back or not? Yeah, yeah. She's the one leading this, and I'm going to call it mutiny. I mean, look, I don't want to sound like an old-fashioned father, but I would almost say a coup.

40:52Right, I'm a big fan of yours, Ross. This is a bit of a nerdy comedy question, but like obviously you are known for improvising, but how much of it's improvised and how much is it a framework that you pivot off? And I'm not some dick on the radio, I know what improv, you know, fake pretend I've got that. Oh, wow. How are we talking about giraffes? Come on, we know what's going on. What, you want to know the exact percentages of it? I'd quite like to know the percentages of it at the start of the gig and then how much of it can be. So do you go on with basically an hour's worth of material, but then if it's going well with improvising, you can just drop it.

41:28Rob improvises a lot and he's looking to think. And there's not many of us, Ross. Well, it depends really because it sort of changes. I'll tell you what I do, right? So basically, I think from what I can gather, I had a podcast where somebody was talking about the way that you write. I think it might have been Josh with Frank Skinner. Yeah, it was me and Frank Skinner. That was it, yeah. Basically, that thing of going on and writing on stage, you know, that thing of like coming up with stuff. So what I do is I will come on stage. And again, it's that weird thing if you go, there's five different ways I can explain this.

42:05I think sometimes people think there's like a framework and I go off from, because people are obsessed with this idea that there's show and there's improvising. And that's the first mistake. And also what's happened is, and let's be honest, with the instagram the proliferation of shit crowd work right yeah it's sort of devalued so there's that thing of like you go there's talking to people in the crowd yeah so basically what i do is i go on stage and i don't have i have no plan i've never had an opening line because i just i couldn't trust it so i never have an opening line and i don't have like a thing where I go this is the show this is what I start with and this is what I end with I go on I see what happens and then whatever comes up that just spinning off my head sometimes off the audience sometimes it's just something that's I get these things in my head that I get obsessed with so that'll pop up so I'll come on and then I'll kind of see where that takes me so maybe I do 20 minutes and out of that 20 minutes there might be still like a minute because that's so specific to you know the world building yeah it only works if you follow that you know one thing leads to another leads to another yes or sometimes like that afternoon i'll say something i think i'll talk about that yeah either that's a funny thing and i'll just report back or i'll go that's a thing that i've seen today and i want to talk about it and i'll make it funny does that make sense and then the energy and excitement of you almost gets it over the line because you're you know if you're obsessed with it like people seeing someone that much enthusiasm about a subject yeah give it that energy where if you try to do it the next night you're like well actually i'm not bothered about that i'm in a different town yeah it won't hit so it could be something i've seen something about the town could be something i've seen on telly all this stuff that i kind of go i want to talk about that i'll just make it funny and then there's other stuff that you go oh that's really funny i've just got to talk about it but then what happens is i go on and i start doing that because i get so easily distracted i'll go off on a tangent and i might not get back to the thing that i started with often i won't ever get back to it and it's that thing of the next day i'll be at breakfast and somebody will be i was at the show what was that thing about the fish with and I go oh yeah yeah so so that's going on often I'll literally be people stop me in the street and go you never finished and I'll do it now for you so that when this happened and then she said this and then this happened but then what happens is I'll get out of 20 minutes you did ask normally

44:53Josh Widdicombe:I've never seen Rob so interested in anything in my life I'm locked in and bear in mind right that I'm in this room and you're sat there interested in what I'm seeing, which does not happen with my children. So this could go on for some time. So out of that 20 minutes, there might be something in there. Yeah. That as a concept, I just go, oh yeah, that's like a, that's a nugget of a thing the next night. So I might get like five of those things over a week or whatever. So how long is the show? How long is your tour show? Is it an hour or two 40 minutes? Two hours. Two hours. Two hours, sometimes two and a half, if I'm really enjoying it.

45:32Jesus. So then a nugget from an improvised bit, the nugget you'll work on over the other shows, if it's something that you really like off the back of it. Yeah, so it'll be that thing of like, I get that nugget, and then I'll kind of, now, here's the thing, right? So sometimes you go, here's a nugget of an idea, and I'll remember it, and I'll think, oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Now, sometimes I might think, I'm going to talk about this, and I'm going to move towards, I think, right, I'm going to head towards that thing. Sometimes I get to it, sometimes I don't. And I come off and go, that's what I planned to get to.

46:05But then sometimes I'll start that thing and I'll go, here's the thing. And then I'll see like where it goes from there. I'll sort of take that thing and I'll go off from it. But then I've got this thing where if something starts to become like a bit, like if it's a bit as soon as it starts to feel like i want to mess like i want to use it as a yeah exactly so it's one of those things where you know how some people go right i'll take these things and i'll form them into the show if things start getting too if i'm going back and i think hang on i'm just repeating myself here yeah if i go hang on this is feels like a bit now i'll do the end of it and i won't do the start or sometimes i'll basically go i'm gonna get to the bit i know there's a joke here the original thing that you started with i then go right i'm not going to touch that almost like once i find sometimes when it becomes too tight and the bits become too clear it stops being stand up and becomes almost like an acting out a monologue because then that's when everyone goes mad 100 ask you one more question we'll go back to the goldsmith must

47:14Josh Widdicombe:be fucking livid at the way you're writing this interview so it's almost you just get frustrated and bored when it becomes too repetitive so if i come and saw you two nights in a row okay so on a good week say you are portsmouth theatre royal on november the 22nd and 23rd if i live in portsmouth and i came to both of those for instance yeah so i came to a gig and it's a good week right and you are loving it you're on fire you're well rested sorry terrible term to use that you're on form so you're really good week you're on form you're loving it and you're the best ross noble can be right in those two shows how much will i see in the next show right if you are at your absolute best and then the same question but you're at your worst you're tired it's all going a bit wrong will you fall back and not be as improvising when you're not up to it or unwell so how similar or different will the shows be in two days well again it depends really all depends but But for example, It's funny, your kids are coming.

48:14Let me just deal with that. These kids come in and just go, I want an exact percentage. Yeah, exactly. It really all depends. Like, for example, there's a comic who came to see me exactly with that question. There was a couple that came to see me three nights running in Sydney and they sat in the same seats and it completely messed with my head. So I just did a different show every night. It's almost like a challenge then, isn't it? Yeah, if they're there. So, yeah, it really all depends. I mean, it's one of those things where if I'm in the same venue, I might do a completely different show. Yeah.

48:49Like, you know, if I'm doing two nights, then the second night might be completely different to the first night.

48:55Josh Widdicombe:You're the first person we've interviewed where we're going to recommend that they see all 60 dates of the tour. Just follow you around. Ross, I'm going to come and see your tour show, and can I come backstage after and talk to you? Absolutely, yeah. Let me run through the dates. Let me Steve write it. St. Albans, St. Albans, Cardiff, Glasgow, Inverness, Dunfermline, Aberdeen, Dundee, Edinburgh, Buxton, Stoke, Cambridge, Harrogate, Cheltenham, Manchester, Eastbourne, Winchester, Exeter, Exeter, Basin, Dunbridge Wells, Portsmouth, Portsmouth, York, Royal Leamington, Starr, Brighton, Break till February, Norwich, Dorking, Crewe, Leicester, Olverston, Lancaster, Newcastle, Newcastle, Newcastle, Middlesbrough, Doncaster, Liverpool, Shrewsbury, London, Palladium, Guildford, Salford, Swansea, Kingsland, Nottingham, Oxford, London, Palladium again, Canterbury, Southend, Poole, Northampton, Truro, Swindon, Bradford, Birmingham, Sheffield, High Wycombe, finishing in Bristol.

49:52Yeah, it's quite a few dates there, a few dates.

49:55Josh Widdicombe:That's going to fund an emigration back to the UK, isn't it? Yeah, a return. We always end on the same question, Ross. Thank you, you've been an incredible guest. I don't know where Rob's gone. He's gone to answer the door. I've never had a podcast host literally walk out on me. Neither have I. I was reading the dates and I came back and he'd gone. It's been a lot of fun. I don't know if I've really talked about parenting, though, have I? Oh, you've talked about parenting a lot. You haven't realised. Have I? Everything falls under that. We always end with the same question, which is two-parter, which is about your partner, which is what one thing does she do?

50:27Josh Widdicombe:So I'm just doing the final question. You do the final question, Rob. Go on. The final question, Ross. What is the one thing about your wife that she does as a parent that you think you're amazing, I'm blown away by you? And what's the one thing she does that annoys you slightly? That if she was to listen, she'd go, he's got a point. In a parenting way. Because at the moment it feels like she's doing a lot of the heavy lifting with the logistics. I can safely say she will not be listening to this. I could pretty much guarantee there's no fear. What does she do? You know what? You know what? The thing is, I said it at the start, right?

51:04My wife, right? Listen, I'll tell you what. My wife, I'll tell you what, right? Make the wife, don't laugh. My wife, in all seriousness, my wife isn't just a great partner. She is genuinely, we should probably talk more about parenting. I love the fact this whole thing has just been me talking about where I live.

51:28Where do you live? So my Mrs. is like an incredible, like, you know, you get their mugs that say like world's best mum and all the rest of it. I think, hang on a second. There's no ranking system here. So she is like phenomenal. Like not just, oh, she's a good mum. She literally pours like everything into the kids. Like she's kind of, and I realised that that might be because she has no option. but no she's phenomenal even to the point where like our girls whenever they have anything it's one of those things where they can talk to us her about anything at all and they're great kids and that's because she is like honestly as a mom always has me even from when she gave birth she went and i'm not judging look i'm not judging any people do whatever you want but my missus just went, yeah, I'm not going to bother with the painkillers and stuff because I want the kids to be like alert.

52:31And I went, bit of gas and air, bit of gas and air. She went, no. So literally she gave birth to two kids, didn't even have the air, didn't even have that business, like nothing at all. Doing that second time as well. Fair enough, you might go in the first time being a bit braggadocious, but she did it the second time around as well. It was outrageous. Second time she goes, I want a home birth this time. and yeah, all right, stop the clock. This might be a while. So when I have a home birth and we lived in the place, and again, it was kind of country, it was snowing, and the midwife that was supposed to come and deliver the baby, this is the second, after all we went through, she says, I'm going to have to show you how to deliver the baby in case I can't get through the snow.

53:15Oh, my God. In our house. I'm thinking, oh, hell, this could be tricky. And I was like, yep, fine. He'll learn how to deliver a baby. that's okay and then so i built a birthing because all i was thinking was she was like home birth and all i was thinking was a carpet's new so i built this birthing nest it was all like beautiful sheets and pillows and stuff but underneath i put a bit of tarpaulin so it didn't come through and i swear to god i know this sounds like a joke but i swear this is true i was stood in the hardware store i was at the b &q home base and i was holding two tarpaulins and the blow came over he went can i help you and without thinking i literally went which one of these is better for blood i swear to god i swear to god it's for my wife so she is like absolutely like off the chart And to be honest, it's like she has to be.

54:16So I would just say, like, everything she does is just brilliant. And in terms of what does she do that, you know what? And I've got over it now. I've got over it now. So over it, it didn't take you two seconds to remember. When we first had the kids, in fact, no, before we had kids, I was one of those idiots that used to go, oh, yeah, But, you know, giving kids a little slap, that's fine. Because I got hit as a kid. And I go, I had that thing going on. It never did me any harm. If a kid's done something, you give them a little slap and stuff. And my wife literally went, what are you talking about?

54:57And bear in mind, this is like 16 years ago. You know, before it was illegal and stuff. And she just went, are you insane? And it's true. You wouldn't hit your dog. You wouldn't hit your wife. You know, and I used to get a proper walloping as a kid. And it was one of those things where I was like, that's all fine. Also, loads of things that I would, when I was a kid, that I just went, yeah, but you know, it's this and it's that. And she just went, you're a lunatic. Like, you know, that thing of her explaining to me that things weren't acceptable. And again, that thing of being shouted at, you know, when I was a kid, it was that thing of like, you'd get a slap, you'd get, you know, shouting and stuff.

55:36And she just went, why would you shout at the kids? and i was like well yeah because that was your normal exactly and it's that thing she just went if you're shouting at a child you've lost she hasn't done some sort of child rearing thing she's just a really good but again she's not one of those our kids aren't naughty because it's that thing of like you sit them down and you go right would you like it if this happened to you and And there's that thing going on. And it's one of those things where by actually treating them like human beings, we can go out for dinner or whatever, even when they were like five or six or four or five, they're not on their phones.

56:19They'll sit there. They'll be part of the conversation. And it's one of those things where if you're a dick, this is what I've realized. People who have dickish kids, you're probably a dick yourself. You know what I mean?

56:32Josh Widdicombe:You live in a dick's house. You know what I mean? It's like, if you're a dick, your kids will be a dick. And people look at their kids and go, oh, I've got loads of problems with these. So I go, well, do you think that might be because you're a bit of a dick? But if you'd met someone that had the same childhood as you, you'd both go into it ignorantly going, well, that's what you do, isn't it? Absolutely. And that was your normal. So you need that person to break that sort of chain. But like, because you just look at the other person and go, well, that's what happened to us. Is that what we do then?

57:00But it's amazing that you've, you know, you could be honest about that. But yeah, it's brutal. And then when we first had kids and stuff, and it used to kind of annoy me. She'd just go, what are you doing? Why are you? Don't touch that. And you know the other thing, that thing of doing things like, because I've learned this, but this is one of the few things I've learned with kids and stuff. You see people and their kids will be, and I'm all for going when they were little and stuff. If they were climbing on something, I was one of those parents, can I climb up that? And I'll go, yeah, give it a try.

57:33You know, I'm not going, oh, you might, you know. So I'm very much like that. But it's one of those things where you see those parents and they go, the kids will be walking along a thing on a playground or whatever, and they'll go, oh, careful you don't fall. And it's one of those things where as soon as you say to your kids, as soon as you say to your kids, oh, you're going to fall. You put the idea in their head. I'm guilty of that sometimes. You know what I mean? Where you go, they're balancing along and you go, wow, this is good balancing. That's amazing what you were saying before about how it frustrated you when your wife was saying, no, we can't do that.

58:06Because what then it does, it puts a mirror up to your own childhood because you go, yeah, we can. And then all of a sudden this person is explaining to you that your childhood wasn't acceptable, which then opens up a whole can of worms that you're sort of frustrated that that door's been opened in your head. Then you have to reflect on it. So, you know, it can be frustrating and upsetting. And equally, you know, when they sort of say like kids nowadays, is you know with uh you know because we were playing on building sites and you know if you found an old fridge it was the greatest time you know what i mean it was that thing of like sorry you 83 no i think but i think you're both a little bit younger than me aren't you yeah i was still of that generation where like when i was growing up a building site didn't have a fence around it you know what i mean we were like you know how like all of those you say all the old things that was like don't climb on a pylon and you look at it now and you go sort of an idiot when when i was a kid it was that thing of like oh look at that electrical substation that looks like a bit of foot there was just a different careful don't fall people go oh you know kids are wrapped up in cotton wool and nowadays and they've got all this i just look at it now and go with what's happening online and how advanced kids are and what they're exposed to and the way that the world's changed.

59:25I think kids now, it's a far more difficult, dangerous place now than it ever was. And when you get older people just going, oh, kids nowadays, they're all wrapped in cotton wool. We used to be out there playing and stuff. Just go shut up. It's a thousand times harder. Physically, it might be a bit easier, but mentally, it's exhausting for them. Yeah. Anyway. Ross, this has been amazing. Good luck with the tour all over Australia and the UK.

59:52Josh Widdicombe:It's been an absolute joy. I've loved this. Thanks. What time is it with you? Are you about to go to bed? It's 17 minutes past eight, so yes. In three minutes, I will be going to bed. I'll try and come to a gig. I'll have a look at the dates. Have a look at the dates. Let me know. And then we can deconstruct. I will Paul Daniels style. Rob will be taking notes throughout. 27th of February, London Palladium. Right. I'm going to try and come to that one. I'm definitely going to be on tour for that, because this tour is exactly where my tour is. we're going to be shadowing each other all over the country Ross absolutely absolutely I'll leave you a small cake in the dressing room cheers Ross thanks mate see you then bye Ross Noble now this is going to have to be a lovely bloke outro because he didn't stop talking I loved it he would love it he would sit there for five hours I think he loves it loves it he's so funny so great so interesting as well go and see him on tour what an amazing story what an amazing comedian see you on Tuesday day, Rob?

1:00:53Josh Widdicombe:Ross Noble. Yeah, see you then, mate. Bye.