S11 EP33: Andy Goldstein

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25:16on the Cantina Chicken Menu while it's here. The participating US Taco Bell locations for a limited time only. While supplies last, contact store for availability. Andy, with your sketch, right, you do afternoons, are you always on the morning school run? Is that when you see the girls then? Is that your, because you've got quite a strict routine with your job where we're all over the place.

25:37Andy Goldstein:Yeah, yeah, it works out quite nicely. I went for a stage where I would drop my oldest off at school and then go on the way back past the David Lloyd and drop in there for an hour. And that was like, up to about six months ago, I was absolutely flying. I was doing four or five days a week and I loved it. I go home at 10 and it was like, I've done an hour in the gym and the day's not even begun yet. Yeah. Because a few other bits and pieces have sort of happened, you know, good, like jobs or whatever. I just haven't been able to get to the gym. So that's just gone now. So now I'm dog walking. I'm a big dog walking fan of luck.

26:08Are you dropping your kids then still at 14 and 17?

26:11Andy Goldstein:Yeah. Yeah, they're proper princesses. Could they get the bus, though? Or is it, oh, get in the bus. Yeah, they could, yeah. I mean, they are princesses. My eldest, my 17-year-old to date, when we were coming out of the house, she went, I can't find my coat. And I was like, oh, you know what? And she went, oh, there it is. And my wife would put her coat on the radiator so it was warm when she was warm. Oh, my word. Oh, wow. Oh, man. They are not your traditional talk sport listener. That's unbelievable. That's unbelievable. And I was like, why is my coat not on the radiator? What's happening there?

26:44but that's that's that's i think it's nice so if you can do it why not do it do you know yeah because i think if you're already at work fair enough and they've just got to go but if you're laying in a warm bed and your kids waiting at a bus stop you know i agree why not get up and

26:57Andy Goldstein:see them before school yeah don't see them otherwise will you because yeah i think the world's shitty enough if you can just add a little bit of love in it somewhere i think that's quite nice yeah because i you know i used to get the night bus home from like nights out and it's quite dangerous i was i was like 17 18 and the thought of letting my daughter do that now i just sort of for like, well, it's character building. I was like, no, it's just dangerous. You don't want that kind of... No, I'd totally leave it at the ground floor. Thank you very much. I totally agree with you. I mean, that analogy of laying in bed, keeping it warm while they're standing at bus stop, I just couldn't think of anything at work.

27:30Andy Goldstein:So I'm not doing anything. Why wouldn't I? Yeah, exactly. And what about a night's out, though, if you are in bed and they're out late, especially the 17-year-old? So the weekend, I was out in town doing something, and then by the time I got back it was about midnight and I got into the house and I got a text, can come and get me now. So I'm taxi service as well on weekends. But does part of you love that or is it? Yeah, it's just mentally easier to think I'm picking them up. They're not getting in a camp. Yeah, yeah, totally. Or getting a train or a bus. It's just like I'm doing nothing. Why wouldn't I do it?

28:03Andy Goldstein:I mean, they are flesh and blood, right? They are the most. Exactly. You're not going to sleep properly anyway, knowing that they're waiting for a bus at 11 o 'clock from their mate's house. so you might as well just get them and get them in and do you um have like did you ever do like that thing where you can track where they are on their phone and stuff like that yeah so when when um when my eldest was about four three i took her to a play group the first ever play group i took her to and i and she was there for like three hours and uh i went to go and get a coffee around the corner and wait for there and so when i took her in it was the first time i'd ever done it and And I said to the woman, genuinely, I said to the woman, do I get like a receipt or anything?

28:43Andy Goldstein:He looked at me and I was nuts. And I went, I just need proof that she's here, right? Like if I come back in three hours and she's not here. And she's looking at me like, I'm mental. But I was thinking, well, hold on, this is the most important thing in the world that I have. Yeah. And I'm just going to, if it was like, if you were dry cleaners, I'd get a receipt for a pair of trousers, right? Yeah. And they were like, no, you don't get a receipt. And I'm like, all right, okay. so so do you think they should bring that in yeah I think you should get a receipt I mean drop them off or that little number like a coat in a cloakroom and then you've forgotten your ticket and they're like I'm sorry yeah but I can see it it's the blonde one at the back no no no no no no mate don't take it I'll tell you what I did buy I had a clear out look at this you've had a clear out yeah I know not the back there no I had a clear out and that this is tidy by the way Yeah, fair enough.

29:38Andy Goldstein:I found this. I don't know if this will work audio-wise, but if people are watching it. This... You can explain it. This is a GPS tracker that I bought when my eldest was about five or six. I went on a school trip. Oh, it's like a little key ring, but it's a GPS tracker. Yeah, like an air tag. Exactly that, but it was like way before air tag. So this is... Yeah, it's big, isn't it? Considering the size of an air tag these days. Yeah. And I put it in her backpack. Like, obviously she was unaware, on her first ever chip. And then when I was at the school gates waiting for them all to come back, one of the mums went, I wonder how far away they are.

30:12Andy Goldstein:And I went, she's 17 metres away. And she's like, and I was like, yeah, 16, 14. Like Rob with Final Destination. How's he doing it? It's so good. Have you seen the new one? Did you watch the new one? We've just finished three, I think. Oh, my God. The newest one's so good. It's amazing. I saw it in a cinema in Coventry alone. I couldn't do the cinema on my own. There's a few things I can't do. I couldn't go out for dinner on my own cinema. I find it a bit weirdo. Well, you could not be a comedian. Of course you're on the road. Yeah, I wouldn't do it out of choice. But okay, I'll give you this day.

30:45You wake up in an industrial estate at a hotel that is absolutely dominated by snooker fans and pool fans that have been at some sort of pool event. And I know you're a big fan of that. But if you go to the bar, it's quite full. Are there any snooker players there? No, it was more like a weird fan event. um you're not talking about milton keynes yeah no this was coventry i think it might have been milton keynes on the way up to coventry i don't know no you wouldn't have stayed in milton keynes no i was driving i was driving an hour from london yeah no i was going somewhere anyway you wake up in the morning in an industrial estate andy and you've got to be leaving coventry at five o 'clock in the afternoon to go to your next gig and you check out first you have a word with your tour booker and say surely there was a better hotel so what are you doing on that industrial estate if you've got another option than kfc than cinema alone i'll take it when you buy your ticket

31:37Andy Goldstein:though do you pretend that you're waiting for someone do you buy like i think cinema on your own during the day is is i think cinema is one of the ones which is all right actually i i could do cinema i can do restaurant yeah i i've done music gig that's tougher that's tough oh i couldn't do music gig um football i have you done football i could do football alone on tour. Did you go to Coventry? You went to Coventry on Saturday, Rob? Yeah, I went with a mate. I went with a friend. You went with a friend. I'd struggle with football, yeah. What did you do the air quote to a friend? What sort of friend was it?

32:15Andy Goldstein:It's a bit weird where people say I went with a friend. I'll go and meet Dave or something like that. Well, yeah, but that's because when you go to your mate Dave, that's because you go somewhere every week. I was in... Well, this is... When I say friend, I say a very new friend where I text Lloyd because basically when I'm on tour, I need to fill the day. Have you got any other friends other than Lloyd Griffith? A couple, but he knows everyone in football. So I went, Lloyd, who's a Coventry fan? You went on a blind date to Coventry City? Yeah. Wow. I'd rather go on my own. Who's a Coventry fan?

32:46And he went and he told me a few of the people that are Coventry fans. And he went, oh, a friend of mine, John. Josh Pugh? Yeah, he's a Coventry fan. This guy called John Dawkins. He's a music manager. He was a manager of The Enemy. Do you know him? The Enemy. You know what I mean? Coventry. He used to manage them. Now he manages Tom Grennan and a few other people. Anyway, Lloyd went, he's a really good bloke. He can sort you out a ticket. I think he's got a box. Right. So I went, oh, yeah, I'll be up for that. Again, the other option is lying in a hotel room, potentially wanking myself to death.

33:15So I have to leave the building. Yeah. You're not going to wank yourself to death at Coventry City with a stranger. No, not by the way they scored goals. It was unreal. Top of the league. Ten points clear. anyway so he followed me on Instagram I'm following him back and said I'm up for Coventry if you can get your spare ticket and anyway he contacted the club we got invited to the boardroom we ended up watching it with Doug King and yes we had a brilliant time and they really welcomed him and had a great time at Coventry and I had a great day and I think though that kind of approach to life opens up doors yeah I went on a blind day with a man he picked me up dropped me off we had a great day Did you hug or what?

33:55Do you know what? Actually, I was a bit worried because I thought, I don't know this bloke. He works in music. He could be an absolute record. Did you know what the music industry is like? But he was really nice and normal and we got on really well to the point where actually at the end, either of us could have said, should we be actual friends? Yeah. But it feels too full on. When will you see him again? Yeah. When will I see him again? You got a text from him. We've been texting, yeah. when did you last text Coventry played last night so I took a photo of us at the thing and then he was getting loads of grief because we got put on Sky Sports and it was me with him and anyway I took a photo of us at the thing and then I messaged him on Instagram and he went oh can you send that to me on my phone because it's disappeared what?

34:43because on Instagram if you send photos they don't always stay the whole time it's like one view for a fucking fishing scam here right so now so then I sent it to him and we've been messaging

34:52Andy Goldstein:did he say can you send me a photo and£500 in cash no he didn't I sent him the photo and he said thanks little thumbs up thanks mate and then I did message him saying 4-2 unstoppable and he gave me a little voice note about Coventry voice note he's coming on strong isn't he he's a big voice note guy actually why why because he wants one back yeah so that he can play it to his mates yeah I'm not a big voice note guy that's why I said why then you just speak now yeah And then he can chop that up out the podcast and he can pretend you've sent him a voice note for his mates. What should I send him?

35:26Just say hi, John. It's your friends now. Should I say that? I love you. I'm missing you. Yeah. Go on. No, I'm missing you. Missing you is really mental. We'll stay quiet so that it doesn't sound like... I'm not saying I'm missing you. Go on then. No, no. What do you mean go on then? What am I saying?

35:45Andy Goldstein:You're the riffmeister, Rob. We're doing really well, hoping to play Premier League football next season. Would love to go to another game with you again soon. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Hi, John. Rob here. Just want to say, like, really enjoyed the game at Coventry and would love to go to another game again soon. Miss you. Great. There's no way you said that. There's no way you said that. Done. Oh, my God. Oh, no. All right. If he sends one back and it ends with Miss U2. Oh, God, yeah. Do you know the worst thing, Rob? He's going to take that at face value and then his mates are going to go, I tell you what, I heard that from the L podcast.

36:27They were right ripping Rob sending that message. I've really got caught in the moment there. I feel so alive, but so nervous. Has it been blue ticked yet? I don't think he's got rid of it. It's been blue ticked within seconds when he sees you've sent him a voice now.

36:41Andy Goldstein:Yeah. He's not been that excited since the enemy released. I can't remember that fucking single. What was their single called? live and die in these towns. Oh. So I think he'll listen to that and think, okay, I had a good time, but that was a bit much. Oh, God, he's three dots. I've got three dots. I've got three dots. He's got... Oh, no. Loads of laughy faces. That's cracked me up. He said, miss you too, mate. You pick a game and we can hold hands and skip in together. Oh, he seems like a nice guy. He's based in London, Rob. Yeah, he is. on the fly just send a heart emoji on it just a heart emoji yeah lovely there we go I'm going to have to tell him what's going on here no I don't think you are John he's lying he can't hear us John I'm on the podcast Andy Goldstein and Josh Riddick made me send that first voice note the miss you bit was a bit full on but I did enjoy the football and hopefully it goes to another game see you later mate oh my god it's embarrassing Oh, that failed to upload Oh Oh, God Oh, anyway, right, I'll sort that out later So, what kind of holidays do you do with your kids?

38:02That's amazing Are your kids into sport, Andy? Because obviously it's such a huge part of your life Are they interested in it?

38:10Andy Goldstein:My eldest isn't at all My little one plays football and hockey And she runs Oh, wow She loves her sport, the little one Although, annoyingly, at the weekend, she was running around the lounge, claiming a dog, and then all of a sudden we had a big thud. She stubbed her toe, and my wife took her to A &E yesterday. Fucking hell. Oh, God. She's broken her toe, so she can't do anything for six weeks. She loves dancing as well, so she can't do anything for six weeks, so she's devastated. Who do you support, Andy? I'm a Manchester United fan. And have you managed to pass that on? Yes, I have. You have?

38:46Andy Goldstein:I took them to Old Trafford to see Maynard play Spurs a few seasons back when Ronaldo played. Oh, all right. And as we come out, she said, is it like this every week? And I went, yeah, this is the way of 10 years ago. Because you used to work up there loads, didn't you? You used to do a show from MUTV where you were at every home game. Is that right? Yes. And away or just home? Away ones as well, but we do the away ones from Old Trafford as well. Yeah, so you have to go to Manchester basically every week. and you're based in London, is that right? Yeah, and so it just took its toll because they're long days.

39:21Andy Goldstein:I'm leaving at 5 o 'clock in the morning and I'm getting home at 1 o 'clock in the morning. At weekends as well when that's important. So is that the reason why you stepped back from that? That's exactly the reason, yeah. I really loved doing it. I really did. Even as a grown adult standing on the pitch and seeing young kids behind you, 22 playing for me, warming up, I'm still a bit like, I get that one looking at me behind me. Yeah, of course. It never goes, does it? It's like Rob, when he sees John from Coventry, he's got a similar reaction. Oh, me and the dogmas. He's actually replied. I told him what you wound me up, and he said, Goldstein, great hair.

39:56Josh, my mate who I said looks like him, manages Pete Doherty. He does look like him. Oh, yeah, I've met him. I've got his number, Jazz. Yeah, him. You look like him, apparently. You know what?

40:05Andy Goldstein:Talking of great hair, I don't know if you're aware of it, lads, but Goldstein's golden paste is out now. Oh, so is this what you're plugging? You're on promo? Yeah. So you've got your own hair. We can't see that because it's reflecting. Have you got one of those? Oh, that's it. Goldstein's Golden Paste. You've got your own hair. Yeah. Talk to us about that then. Okay. So about six months ago, I contacted this guy, Damon Barber, who owned it, who made unbelievable award-winning hair products and said... What's he called? David Barber? What's he called? Damon. Damon Barber. Yeah. And he works in hair?

40:42Yeah.

40:43Andy Goldstein:Well, I'm guessing that. I mean, that's not his name. Oh, sorry. And I said, I've got the best head of hair that anyone you've ever seen of my age or any age for that matter. I should have my own hair product. And he went, I agree with you. And then so we put one together. Yeah. And it's incredibly successful. And I think, in my own opinion, it's a great stocking filler. Right. Where can you pocket? Like, how do you come up with the paste? Like, are you doing, you know, like in The Apprentice where they're like mixing it up and stuff. Were you doing that in like a factory? He was doing that. He sent me a load of different samples and he said, what do you think of these?

41:18Andy Goldstein:And I'll go, I like the smell of that. I like the texture of that. But the hold of this one's no good. I tried this one all day and by about two o 'clock, nothing was left. And then eventually we came up with what is now called Gold Seeds Golden Paste. Damonbarber.com you can buy it from. How much is it a tub? I think it's£34. Whoa. Hold on, lads. Buy cheap. Buy twice. Yeah. Yeah, and it's a big old tub. It's a big old tub. How many months do you think people are getting out of a tub? You'll get over 300 applications with it. 300 applications? That's almost a year. Would you like me to send you both one?

41:55Yeah. Yeah, I would actually. I'll take a golden pace. Okay. I'll take a golden pace.

42:01Andy Goldstein:I think you both look good with my pace in your hair. Oh, here he goes. Here he bloody goes. Next question. have you had to play the father to has your either of your children had a boyfriend and you've had to be a kind of or girlfriend or girlfriend and you've had to play that role yet uh boys are a big part of their world my little one is is um i think she wants a boyfriend she's on the apps she's not on the apps yet my they haven't got to answer your questions my eldest has had a boyfriend before I met him once she was going into town with him so I met them I dropped her at the station I can't ever walk into the station and I shook his hand and I gave it a little bit more and a spitz of voice and went look after today and he went okay oh poor kid if you're to mark your normal handshake out of 10 squeeze wise and that handshake out of 10 squeeze wise what are we looking at probably normal is an eight i think it's important okay you're quite heavy with the hand have you one of them are you i met i met a friend of mine's daughter's boyfriend but he when he shook my hand for the first time he was he was like he was passing me a salmon and i i didn't know him and And I went, listen, that needs to improve.

43:32Andy Goldstein:It needs to be a... Oh, God, that's real toxic. Yeah. Kids don't know how important that handshake is, right? Is it? Is it that important? How soft was it? It might be in Torx or Towers when Darren Goff's seeing you in a lift. But, like... No, no, no. A good handshake. Come on. Do you know where they do good handshakes and big, strong hands? Australia. Because all of the people there play cricket or Aussie rules football. So they've got big, strong hands. You farm a ball They can't do keepyuppies But they can rip your hand off In a handshake I don't like a handshake Where you feel like Someone's trying to prove something I always think What's wrong with you?

44:08What are you trying to

44:09Andy Goldstein:I know what you mean I don't mean that I just Not a squeeze Just firm Yeah I always struggle Heavy not hard I always I always struggle When I shake a woman's hand Because I sort of Turn it around Not a problem with talk sport Princess Diana What? That's not a problem at talk sport. No, there's plenty of women that work for talk sport. And he's shaking all their hands. So what do you do with a woman's hand? I don't know why, but I sort of turn it like that. It goes into like 17th century. And then do you kiss her on the top of the hand? I just go, and then I always go, sorry, I'd never know how to shake a woman's hand.

44:53Andy Goldstein:And then that's really weird. I think. Yeah. Just shake it the same. No, I think that's rude. Yeah, but the way you're squeezing it, but just maybe go a bit softer. What about the kiss on a cheek? I can't see women on the cheek. I think, no, just handshake. The problem with the kiss on the cheek is if you go once and they lean in for the second. Yeah, yeah, fresh. What's happening now? Also, when you meet people on a night out and women got a lot of makeup on or a TV show they've got a lot of makeup on, if you get too close, you can ruin their makeup and then get it on your clothes. So, Jordan.

45:29Andy Goldstein:Exactly like Simon Jordan.

45:58Andy Goldstein:While supplies last, ends June 30th. Terms at aka.ms.collegepc. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You know those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips? That's the energy State Farm brings to insurance. With over 19 ,000 local agents, they help you find the coverage that fits your needs. So you can spend less time worrying about insurance and more time enjoying the ride. Download the State Farm app or go online at statefarm.com. Like a good neighbour, State Farm is there. Out of all the people you've met, because you've met loads of people on TalkSport, and yet, to be fair, you've got an incredible sort of phone book where you get, like, exclusives from, like, Noel Gallagher and stuff like that, and obviously Robbie Williams is a good friend of yours.

46:41Who out of all the sort of famous people and athletes that you've met has gone too hard with a hand? Is there anyone that stands out? I bet Eddie or Barry Hearn. I bet that's a handshake and a half. I bet Barry Hearn wobbles up and down a lot.

46:56Andy Goldstein:Barry's coming in tomorrow actually so I can test that one out they've both got great handshakes, they're old school right if you could text Rob and tell him an update on Barry Hearns handshake then we'll pop it in the intro to this episode I'll send you a voice note of Barry Hearns and then maybe getting to review yours would be quite good alright, I'll film the whole thing for you yeah that'd be fine, just pop it on our YouTube for us tag us in, monetise it thank you very much that would be a paid zoom wouldn't it Here I am in London To test out people's handshakes People will be fucking watching that for days Do you know what That's a great little real series for you London Bridge London Bridge Because you're famously It's a handshake You know what really fucking is So much shit on social media People are running out of ideas The thing I hate is close your eyes And open them when you hear a centre half You'd like to play alongside Yeah You just see a defender going like that and then Oakley and Marcel Desai and it's like, what the fuck's important to that?

47:57Andy Goldstein:People have read out stuff to us now. Well you can actually see them coming off of these pundits finishing a whole shift of punditry and the socials person grabs them and they go, right, one to ten and you can see Roy King go, ugh Exactly that You've got to feel for that poor little social media kid, he's 23 he's fresh out of a media degree at Bournemouth Uni and suddenly he's having to corner Jamie Carragher to ask him what the worst away ground is. Yeah. Or one I hate is can you blind rank these strikers? And then they go first one is like Messi you go oh is that going to be like okay no one cares.

48:36I know it's just guff isn't it? Yeah. But you know keeps me in Josh fair. Anyway we're looking forward to the handshake series Andy and when's it? Watch it. Honestly if you did talk sport with Andy Goldstein the handshake series and you could do the fake. Goldstein's golden handshakes. Oh, but it would be pathetic. It would be like, oh, Andy, quick, quick, come downstairs. Simon Cowell's on Chris Evans. We need to get his handshake.

48:59Andy Goldstein:You do a mocking, right? What will happen, it will be really successful, and in about a year's time, one of you or both of you will be trying to get to me going, I hope you asked for the handshake. Yeah, that's what will happen. Andy, do you mind if I come on the handshake shows? The Mr. Handshake. You've basically got his career. Yeah. Was it not Banshake? That was... Banzai. Mr. Shakey Hands, right? How long can you shake hands? Yeah. Well, no, it's not about length. It's about grip. All right. I promise you, I will video it tomorrow. And you know, like the blind, you know, Dave Portnoy used to do the pizza review.

49:31You just do handshake reviews.

49:33Andy Goldstein:What about people that you could shake their hand and then with the other hand, they grab the eye? I hate that. That's very Trump. Yeah. Here goes that. Exactly. Yeah, and also just random city boys coming into London Bridge. They'll have some wild handshakes. Yeah. And what do you feel about like a kind of a handshake into a hug, Andy? What? From who? Give me a scenario. Barry Hearn tomorrow. Handshake into a hug? You know, that's more of like, it's not a handshake, it's more of like the... Oh, that one. That one, yeah, like the arm wrestle, dap, lean in. Or sometimes you'll go for the handshake and someone will go, no, no, come on, come on.

50:12In my head, it's Tom Davis. Do you know what I mean?

50:15Andy Goldstein:that kind of... I always find that the bigger the person, the more they want to hug you. Yeah, that's a small show of power. I'm bigger than you. So I can take where this goes. I don't like hugging, really. I don't like handshakes. I always, if someone comes up... Oh, well, you fucking change your tune, haven't you? No, I've always been like that. You used to love handshakes. You're telling me how hard you do them. No, if someone comes up to me in the street that I don't know and wants a handshake, I always say, I'm a fist pumper and just... pumper or bumper fist pumper or bumper fist bump anything other than handshake right Vladimir Klitschko only ever does you're going to have to change that if you become Britain's number one handshaker like it's going to be a difficult argument when your main fame is that you're the handshaker that'll be the big sort of news on PopBitch there'll be stories that Andy Goldstein secretly loves fist bumping he doesn't act like the handshake but Klitschko only does fist bumps to stop getting germs I quite like that yeah quite like that anyway so what other stuff do you kids do?

51:17Andy Goldstein:Homework. Lots of homework. Lots of homework. How bothered are you about academics? Because I feel like you're more of the, you know, let's not steer him. Let's see what he says. What was your question? What kind of, what are you like around education and school? Because I feel like you're a bit more of the school of life kind of guy than you are bothered about. He's still, he's steering him again. He's desperate for Andy to. No, your question will have no influence on my answer. I just want to make that clear. Thank you. Both my kids go to... And also your answer will have no impact on my next question, as well, just so you know.

51:50Yeah, because Rob's already thinking about the handshake stuff. I already know the answer, and I'm getting ready for the next one. That's how my brain works.

51:57Andy Goldstein:Both my kids go to private school at the moment, or not at the moment, they just do. For a week? We still see. I'm surprised at the price of it nowadays. Depending how the budget plays out. Yeah, you're right. My little one's very much like me. I think she'll do really well in life, but not necessarily because she's studied really hard. And my little one is like my, my big one's frighteningly clever. About, about three or four years ago, the light was on at the bottom of the door about 11 o 'clock at night on a school night, you know, so you know the lights on in the room. Yeah. My wife opened the door.

52:32Andy Goldstein:We call, we call the eldest boo and it went boo. And my wife went boo, it's like 11 o 'clock at night. Why are you up? And she said with the iPad in front of us, she went, I'm so sorry. I was just teaching myself Japanese. Oh, wow. And she was. The little one would be in the other room, like ordering the Chinese. That's the difference between the two of them. Right. One's Japan, one's China. Did they get on? They really get on. COVID was a tough time for a lot of kids. A lot of kids suffered because they didn't get on. But I mean, they're best of friends. In fact, throughout that period, they then decided to sleep together every night.

53:10Andy Goldstein:They were together during the day. They were literally side by side all the time. And it was only about two and a half years ago that they sort of went, right, every night we're going to go back to her. So they missed each other. It was really tough. Oh, that's lovely. And what about when they have play dates with their other, or not play dates, they're older now, but when they've got their friends over, do they clash? That's where I find ours clash a bit, while they all join in together. They all join in, yeah. I'm really lucky. So are you a great parent or have you been lucky? what's going on Andy because it feels like the kids are in a good space or are you married to a great parent my wife's unbelievable my wife's incredible she does most of the the sort of well she does all the whole you see the default parent you'd say she's she picks them up from school and I don't see them until eight half past eight all the school problems when they come out the gates and oh this happened she's dealing with it all do you live in London Andy?

54:04Andy Goldstein:just outside I live in Essex yeah so you've got a commute in every day and then yeah but that's that's it's an easy commute it's it's 40 minutes and it's really quick do you race home for the evening or do you consider like i'll get a train uh what does that already which which time train is it rob uh yeah it's a c to c um uh quarter past six i i meet rob every night actually yeah yeah just for a degree for about a show my favorite things that needs improving quick handshake i'm gonna get a film tomorrow right it's going to be final destination can you remind yeah no problem yeah find it blood Lawrence there you go okay that's what he does Andy is the final question we ask everyone this now um you've already said your partner's amazing but what one thing does she do that makes you go oh my god she's an amazing parent can't believe I have her with me being a parent and what's the one thing she does that if she was to listen that you find a bit annoying and frustrating and if she was listening she'd go yeah you might have a point there why why would anyone answer that second question?

55:07Because they're in a really confident, comfortable relationship and you know, they're in a relaxed position where communication is key and they can take criticism. But you know, if you don't want to do that because you're falling apart, that's fine.

55:17Andy Goldstein:Oh, their wife going through the menopause when they answer that question.

55:22By the law of averages,

55:23Andy Goldstein:we must've hit that at one point. Yeah. I think that should be the third question. Yes. Is your wife going through the menopause? Okay. Well, we'll get that first. Question one, is your wife going through the menopause? Yeah. Cool. And how is that? She's absolutely fine. Yeah. Good. Good. Perfect. She deals with it, yeah. Strong handshake every morning and then you get on with your lives. A lot of us don't understand how bad that can be, by the way. Yes, absolutely, yeah. I think it's a bit sort of skimmed over. But it's... I wouldn't want it. Do you know what I mean? If you looked in my diary, it was menopause this week.

55:59Andy Goldstein:I think that's a great T-shirt. Menopause, I wouldn't want it.

56:06Andy Goldstein:well we can skip the negative one then but what's the positive in answer to your first question what does she do i don't know if everyone or no one's answered like this but everything she does absolutely everything my missus like without a doubt my rock she does absolutely everything from from breakfast in the morning for the kids to dinner waiting for me to just she does everything she really sort of like all my kids are as great as they are it's all down to her she's fantastic so is there a hot dinner waiting for you every single day when you get in yeah i mean it's because she's made for her and the kids and mine's in the oven yeah but she's she's fantastic she's fantastic although you can leave it if you want andy oh the one the one thing i've mentioned it yeah but it's sort of i'm gonna kick myself in the in the nuts of it because it's such a tiny thing but it makes me go why so this is really small but on the work surface in our kitchen there is a little box where you put food when you've finished eating your dinner right yeah and in that box is a bag yeah and when she takes that bag out and does it up and takes it to the bin yeah whilst making the house look perfect yeah forgets to put the back a new bag And I find myself having to do that.

57:25Andy Goldstein:Oh, Andy. I think you should have remained silent. Yeah, that did come across quite badly, actually. I don't understand why. Reid's terrible, that. Why? How long did it take? Well, but if she's already doing everything, Andy. Yeah, but exactly. If you're doing everything, do everything. Or don't. Make your mind up. It's either one or the other. That'll be the bag, isn't it? Do you ever put like the roll of the bags at the bottom so that's already in there? You can just do it from... Then they get the bag juice on them. Yeah, there is bag juice. I don't like that bag juice. They do get bag juice on them.

58:04Yeah. So that's the thing you've decided to... But the bags are a metre, I've measured it, a metre away.

58:12Andy Goldstein:Right. And it's, yeah. When you were measuring it, could you have been putting a bag in the box rather than measuring the distance that your wife hasn't travelled? I just put the bag in and I thought, well, and as I opened the door, you think I'm joking about, as I opened the door, there was a tape measure. Right. I'm just curious what the... Yeah, well, the distance is, one metre. Yeah. And I thought, should I use that in an argument or not? Yeah. What did your wife say when you brought it out? Quite soon. I haven't brought it out. She's going to give you pelters after this. Yeah. Yeah, of course.

58:43Andy Goldstein:Good night. If she's listening, maybe learn from it. I couldn't... I'll add it. I'm going to tell you now, she may not be listening, but 100 % someone that knows her is. That's getting back. That's getting back. She will. Have you both answered that question too? Yes. Numerous times at different points over the podcast because, you know, stuff changes. At the moment, the thing that's frustrating me about Lou would be she used zip lock things to put the Christmas decorations up, but on the banisters of the stairs, but she snipped them off and then pointed up. so we have now got razor blade sharp bits of plastic so i've cut my palm why didn't she just why don't you swing them around we need to and i said why don't i do that and then she said no wait till i'm home so i can do it but then she didn't do it yesterday so they're still on there but she won't allow me to do it because i might not do it the right way so this morning my daughter i mean literally it's just spinning it yeah exactly but it's she's pulled it so tight that you were asked to snip off and go again.

59:47Oh, God. So, yeah, so me and my daughter... So that's two problems. It's too tight. Two problems. You've raised two problems there. And me and my daughter have got cut hands at the moment. And she won't let you fix it yourself. It's a beauty, really, isn't it? I think beauty is a strong word.

1:00:00Andy Goldstein:Well, you're getting cut. You and your daughter are getting slashed to pieces. Yeah, pretty much. What's yours? She's just cold and doesn't love me. You knew that. You knew that when you said yes. Yeah. To the wedding. All right. Andy, thank you so much. Good night. Thank you, Andy. Golden Hair Paste. And what time is your show on TalkSport? Until seven weekdays. There you go. And how have I been by the hair paste? That's very kind of you. DamonBarber.com. Or in a couple of... When's this guy out? In a few weeks, right? Don't know. No idea. Okay, you'll be available at next.com. Ooh. Ooh. Yes, thank you.

1:00:36Andy Goldstein:And also Amazon. Nice. Oh, heard of it. It's a biggie. Good luck with it. I will... What I'll do, I'll send you both a pot. please. I'll waive the bill, don't worry about that. Absolutely, I'm not paying 34 quid for a bit of your gunk. And I will send you a video of me shaking hands. That's what I'm saying. please. Thank you very much, Andy. Right, Andy, see you next time. God bless you.