S12 EP15: Instinct Takes Over

8:03Rob Beckett:No, it's not the jean pocket. it goes it wraps all the way around on both legs how do you know you haven't seen the back well no it wraps around the front well that's because they're a good pant no i'm not saying they're not a good pant i'm just saying your sun spells are visible where are they with this

8:18Josh Widdicombe:sponsorship i don't understand what they're doing it's not the pocket you can see go on there that

8:22Rob Beckett:you can see the seam it's about an inch seam isn't it at the bottom that's the indent of your sun spells that they're so powerful that they are indent in the gene it's wild that i'm doing so much positive work for sun spell and them got involved no that's not the sun spells i don't think i think that's the pockets it's not the pocket michael please look at this on instagram

8:42Josh Widdicombe:and you've been in the judge wait wait wait let me have a look at it now in the flesh all right okay yeah shall i stand up to the camera and we can we can debate show me a

8:51Rob Beckett:yeah yeah you can if you're on spotify you can watch this

8:58Josh Widdicombe:that's josh that's josh's knees

9:02Rob Beckett:and you've got to stand back i can't see you stand on uh yeah you can still see the outline of the sun spells

9:10Josh Widdicombe:so that that's the pockets the sun spells are higher than that

9:15Rob Beckett:oh are they that is the god they're big pockets aren't they yeah that is the fucking hell i apologize i take it back their pockets what what genes are they levi's levi's all right of course they are Of course they are. Do you always have Levi's? Yeah, I love Levi's.

9:33Josh Widdicombe:They're the best.

9:35Rob Beckett:And which ones? Five-0-1s?

9:37Josh Widdicombe:Five-11s.

9:38Rob Beckett:Five-11s.

9:39Josh Widdicombe:Okay.

9:40Rob Beckett:Fair enough. I take it back. I thought they were the sun spells. They were the massive pockets.

9:43Josh Widdicombe:To be honest, Rob, I thought, I presumed it was right. I was just panicking when I said it was the pockets. You had a pocket panic and won. I'll be honest. I thought I've got to defend myself in some way, even though I know he's right. that's why this pod works. I've got to throw something at it. I can't just admit that that's the sun spells. But then it turned out that my fabricated defense was true. You're like, that's how Donald Trump exists. Yeah, exactly.

10:13Rob Beckett:Just go off the other side. I'll manifest it. Yeah. Those pockets grew in your pocket when you were telling that story.

10:20Josh Widdicombe:I don't like the side. Oh, Michael's typing. If the pocket fits. A quit. Oh, nice. That's a joke. Jason, lovely little. He's had a real joke. Come on.

10:30Rob Beckett:You can tell Mock the Week's back.

10:31Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, too right. Filtering through. You tempted, Rob, by Mock the Week?

10:36Rob Beckett:I could be tempted to do it. It could be fun, for all time's sake. What? That is, you can't have a go at me now. Well, no, I don't want to do it, but I don't ever rule out potential future employment. Oh, okay, all right. That's me playing the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ask me again.

10:52Josh Widdicombe:Would you ever do Mock the Week again?

10:55Rob Beckett:Ideally never, unless I was really skint.

11:02Rob Beckett:in my defense that's too harsh i would do mock the week again if they promised i didn't have to

11:08Josh Widdicombe:stand up and do scenes i'd like to see that's the reason i don't do it yeah i love sitting i have really good nostalgic feelings towards sitting at the desk chatting i really enjoyed i really liked that we used to have a real laugh and the scenes i'd like to see was the probably the worst I was at anything I've ever done on TV.

11:27Rob Beckett:My heart would sink so heavy when they were like, right, now it's time for scenes. I'm like, basically, literally vomiting.

11:35Josh Widdicombe:Q Den is just absolutely ripping it with a variety of brilliant voices.

11:42Rob Beckett:It's definitely, that's the actor's game, that, isn't it? The actors love that. Oh, God. And the big one gets into the mic. How's your parenting week been, Rob? Oh, mate, it's been busy, actually. Well, you know, Lou's away working, actually. She was in Chester last night. Oh, yeah, yeah. A book event. Big launch. Big launch. It was like a – and, you know, as the default parent, I've been defaulting at home, looking after the kids. Do you know what was good, though? I felt moral high ground. Lou message, because basically you got up quite early. Because I got in at like 1 a.m. Oh, God, I had a migraine in Bournemouth.

12:17Rob Beckett:Was that why you went there? Towards the end of the gig. Yeah, I went there for a moment. It's a new nightclub. You've not been there? It was coming on during the show, and then I had it on the way home, and my head was so bad. I strapped a Capri Sun to my head and held it in place by tying my hoodie up. Why did you have a Capri Sun with you? Because it's cold, and I had to put it on my head to cool my head down.

12:36Josh Widdicombe:No, no, no, I get why you had that. Sorry, do you have a Capri? Is that on your rider? No, I stopped at a garage.

12:41Rob Beckett:Oh, my God. That was a late-night WH Smith's migraine hack. Oh, my God. The Capri Sun strapped to my head with a hoodie, and I started shivering. Migraines are awful. Awful. And then Lou was going up to Chester, but the taxi company, well, didn't cancel their taxi, never sent the taxi.

13:01Josh Widdicombe:To take her the whole way to Chester? No, no, no, to the local.

13:05Rob Beckett:We have to use a local taxi firm to get us to the local station. So she booked it for like 20 past seven, and she rang and went, oh, yeah, someone's just took the job. There'll be about 20 minutes. And Lou's like, no. Yeah, I hate that. I ended up driving her to the station, and then the kids had to come, obviously, so I got my hot chocolate from McDonald's. But then Lou messaged me because she had to get out of it. It's a long old way up to Chester and she did the book event and she messaged going, God, I'm just so exhausted. Cause she's basically doing it. She's basically doing what we do when we go on tour, but it's a book event, not standard.

13:35Rob Beckett:God, I'm just so exhausted. And I was, I did so well not to text back, try doing five in a row. But I didn't. No, you saved that for a public forum. Absolutely. I saved that for a bigger audience. and what i said back directly was i know it's so draining but you're doing so well love you babe

13:56Josh Widdicombe:didn't say babe what rose does yeah i've noticed is if i say something so say she was in the position you're in there so if i said to her um bloody hell i'm naked of all this all this homework or whatever she'd say tell me about it and i think those words what they mean is yeah i know because

14:20Rob Beckett:i do more of it than you that's that's cocking a gun and putting it to your head good tell yeah i know how you feel but i know it more than you because i don't know more than you so whatever

14:30Josh Widdicombe:you're feeling now i've had it worse yeah yeah exactly tell me about it so would you like that

14:36Rob Beckett:if you is that that's a phrase that you'd like if so say in your relationship there's a phrase that you could delete that she says and then there's one that you delete for her is that what that

14:48Josh Widdicombe:it does to be fair make me go yeah fair enough do you know i'm owning yeah yeah so you're happy for it because it keeps you in check no i'm not happy for it all right i gave you a chance there

15:00Rob Beckett:i tee you up for a lot of things that would win you favor with rose no but it's better to be honest

15:06Josh Widdicombe:it is useful but sometimes things that are useful and bring you up short it doesn't mean you're happy about it no it's like in the same way a note about your performance as a stand-up you might be annoyed initially it will be useful in future yes if someone said to you do you know what you need to stop doing this you'd go oh for fuck's sake you fucking wanker why are you doing that but in a day or two you'd go they were right yeah but then what if you can't change it someone

15:35Rob Beckett:goes rob i really like you but you're you're too loud you're a bit full-on and um you keep interrupting people and it's just a bit too much and i'm like yeah well you i think you should just leave me alone then because that's not changing this feels like a very specific example well no

15:49Josh Widdicombe:but i'm aware i think i'm aware of the things that would grate on people yeah i mean i don't think they should be giving you notes on that but if they said you know what you've got a tendency to after a punchline always make an uh sound i don't know but you're enjoying it that's a comedian I watched recently and I thought, you keep making an air sound after a punchline. It's incredibly distracting.

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17:21Josh Widdicombe:Rob, on the taxi thing in the morning, I had a situation similar to Lou on Thursday morning when I had to get the 752 to London, which is my classic train now.

17:34Rob Beckett:Oh, that's the JW spesh.

17:36Josh Widdicombe:You know, it's the classic.

17:37Rob Beckett:So if you're on a 752 from Exeter to London, have a little look down the carriage. We know which one he'll be in.

17:42Josh Widdicombe:There's a one in five chance that I'll be on that train.

17:47Rob Beckett:Yeah, because once a week you're up.

17:49Josh Widdicombe:Once a week I'm up. So I ordered a cab. No cab.

17:54Rob Beckett:So what are you doing here? Are you doing Uber or a local cab firm?

17:58Josh Widdicombe:It's Apple Taxis, which is the extra equivalent of Uber, basically. Apple Taxis? They've got an app.

18:04Rob Beckett:Apple, are they like a minicab service with an app?

18:08Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, basically, yeah, yeah.

18:09Rob Beckett:But they're not like a minicab company that's evolved into an app. Is it a new app? I don't know their history.

18:14Josh Widdicombe:Right. But the app looks exactly like Uber or all the other ones, what the other ones called, Get or Halo or whatever. So they must have bought the same, you know. Anyway, failed to get a taxi for the first time, just couldn't get one.

18:32Rob Beckett:That is the hardest thing about not living. Like the thing that drives me most mad about the countryside is the taxi situation. It's just unreliable.

18:40Josh Widdicombe:And so I was like, I'm going to have to walk it. And then I realized I started walking. I was like, I'm not going to make this in time. I'm not making the 752 here. I've bought a specific train. They know you're coming though, don't they? Yeah, obviously they know I'm coming. But, you know, it was one of the first times ever it's not been delayed as well. I was fuming that it was on time. So I go to the bus stop. I get on the bus. The bus is due at Exeter St. David's at 7.54. I'm like, I'm fucked here. I've missed my train.

19:09Rob Beckett:For a man who claims to have lived in central London and also in central Exeter, you get on the bus a lot.

19:14Josh Widdicombe:Exeter St. David's, to be fair to me, is not a very central station. Fair enough. I stand corrected. Pop that in the pocket. Yeah. In fact, there is an Exeter station called Exeter Central, which isn't used very much, but that shows the problem St. David's has got.

19:30Rob Beckett:That's the problem with these. That does my head in. You know, Manchester and Liverpool, it's Piccadilly and Lime Street, right?

19:36Josh Widdicombe:Why can't it be the set called Central? Well, the problem with Exeter is the main one isn't called Central. The smaller one's called Central. And when Michael tried to come here to do this studio, he tried to get a rail replacement from Exeter St. David's to Exeter Central. I was like, Michael, there's no need. Anyway. You're in Central. You've got the, you're at the main station. You're an Exeter. You're an Exeter. Anyway, on the bus, I'm like, I'm going to have to change my ticket before the train leaves, aren't I? Because otherwise I'm going to lose this ticket and I'm going to have to buy a new one.

20:11Josh Widdicombe:So I spent 80 quid to transfer it to the next train. Yeah. Then what happens, Rob? Delayed. No. Bus cuts through the traffic like a knife through butter.

20:25Josh Widdicombe:You get the 52. I make it to exit central at 750. Instinct takes over. I peg it up the stairs.

20:34Rob Beckett:Instinct takes over. Peg it. Peg it. I love it. I've seen you peg it before. You can go. You can move.

20:44Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. I peg it up the stairs. Peg it onto the 752. A man that lives in Oba can peg it. Yeah. Onto the 752. And then I have to basically negotiate with the guy to say, look, come on. It's J.J., it's 7.50. I had the right ticket. I had the right ticket 20 minutes ago, and now I haven't got the right ticket for this train. Give me a break. Technically, though, I can see your workings,

21:08Rob Beckett:but you are wrong and should be fined. I know, but you know what?

21:12Josh Widdicombe:He was very kind about it. He was very kind about it. But, yeah, it was a stressful situation. Would you have run it at that point, if you were me, at 7.50? How – what time was the next train? The next train was, like, half an hour later, but it also took half an hour more. So I'd have got in an hour later.

21:28Rob Beckett:No, I would have pegged it. Yeah. You'd have pegged it. A hundred percent. I'm pegging. I'll be right behind you, mate, pegging me way there. So what else has happened to you this week? I've got quite a few things to go for, actually. Quite a lot of things to go through here. My daughter did our French homework in the car on the way to school. Right. So she's 10. Our approach to homework is, I don't think she does all the homework she's supposed to be doing, but I'm completely tapping out of telling her or prompting her for her to learn right life lessons of if you've been said it it's your responsibility to do it and if the school comes in agreement with that yeah losing agreement with that and if the school say she's

22:06Josh Widdicombe:not doing it or she's not doing enough or whatever even say have you got any homework to do no we

22:11Rob Beckett:would say have you got any homework to do because we can do it now or we can do it sunday afternoon and then sometimes she goes yeah i do and get some of it and sometimes she goes i do but i'll do it later or whatever so we we just we we offer it out but we don't press because i don't go you've got biology in on thursday no it's up to them to be aware of all of that and i just think if she does it she does it if you don't she don't but like let if i i think the school can sometimes be quite full on with kids and i don't believe in homework anyway no but if they want to set it and they want to do it i'll do it but there's gonna be no pressure coming from the family anyway so she was doing that and i and i was watching her doing it and i was like this is definitely going to be what she does that this is definitely going to be the how she approaches life yeah i mean because you can only do too much as a parent, but after a while, it's like...

22:56Josh Widdicombe:What was her homework? It was just a sheet where you're filling. So she had like a hard book or whatever on her lap

23:03Rob Beckett:and she was just right... No, because she's my daughter. Just lean on the headrest of the seat in front of her. Oh my God. Oh my God. Legend. I was like, I fucking love this kid. Here we go. Here she is. The world's not ready for her, mate. She's got an in two-footed. Shoulders back and up. Let's go. You want some French, Homer? Fucking mercy. Have that. And then my other daughter was a bit moany this morning because Lou was away. So I was doing this and I'm so bad in the morning. I basically have to, if I was in charge all the time, I'd make sure everything was packed the night before and organized.

23:36Rob Beckett:Because in the morning, it takes me so long. I just can't trust myself to think. I have to take all thinking out of my brain until about nine o 'clock in the morning. I'm just a body until 9am. So she was going. and I did a bit of old school parenting, Josh. Tell me what you think of this. Oh no. She went, um, yeah. You're in parenting. No, she was going, oh, I've got swimming today and I hate it. I hate swimming. And it's a swimming garden and I'm going to lose because I'm swimming against a girl that does it at the weekends and she's great and I'm not. And I went, yeah, but you like swimming.

24:09Rob Beckett:She went, yeah, but I hate swimming gardens. I have to swim up and down. It's boring. I like swimming. And then she was moaning and I went, it's just not going to be any fun. I went, look, you are good at swimming. You're really good at swimming and you like swimming. Okay. So you will be swimming today, whether you like it or not, because that's what's happening today. So you can decide if it's going to be no fun and you're going to hate it, or you can decide that it's going to be fun and you're going to enjoy it, or you can decide just to do it and then see how you feel at the time. They're the three choices you've got.

24:37Rob Beckett:So you decide. And I just walked off. Wow. And how did that go? We stopped the conversation, but I don't know if I've done some sort of emotional trauma. I think that's good. Well, yeah, because I'm acknowledging how she feels, but then it's up to her to decide out of those three options. Yeah. I think swimming galas are a bit intense. And I felt quite like I'd done good parenting, and that was quite a cool thing to say. And as I walked off, but then as I walked off, I had three backpacks on my back, a guitar, and two PE bags and a swimming bag, and I knocked off a picture off the side because as I turned all the bags hit the side.

25:14Rob Beckett:Oh, no. Before then, I was fucking nailing it. What else has happened? I got shade on the school pickup. So tell me what happened. So they've been in this, they don't normally do this after school club because normally Lou's around to pick them up. But obviously Lou's working more, I'm working more this week. They do this club that they can stay till about six or seven. But six, sorry. Don't do that. I know, I can't. It's in my head too much.

25:41Josh Widdicombe:You're 40.

25:42Rob Beckett:I know, but I don't want to do it. It's just my kids do it. And I can't say it without saying it.

25:47Josh Widdicombe:Yeah.

25:47Rob Beckett:I'm not doing it to look like, I'm not doing it as in like a cool way, like when people go, oh, fucking slay queen. I can't say that.

25:54Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, yeah, yeah.

25:55Rob Beckett:Anyway, it's this after school club and it's weird. So they do it every now and again and they've done it a couple of times a week for the last couple of weeks because Lou's busier. I go in and obviously with that after school club, you get the kids that are in it once a week, you get the kids that are in it now and again, and then you get the lifers. Yeah. You know, it's because it's like walking into prison, isn't it? Everyone looks up from the desk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like who's up for parole? and then you get the sort of the ones that are in there till seven every day and you think I'll get people that go to work mate but look you know you did decide to have a kid surely there's a bit of there's a bit of middle ground the lady's like oh not seen you in a while and I was like oh Catty playing that game aren't we and I was like well no normally I do pick up in the car so you wouldn't have so sorry

26:42Josh Widdicombe:what's her point you don't do a lot of pickups

26:44Rob Beckett:yeah but she wouldn't know anyway because they barely go in that one. And even if I do it, it's after this. She's not saying,

26:51Josh Widdicombe:are you sure you've not just built this up in your head, Rob?

26:53Rob Beckett:It was dark and rainy. I imagine I probably invented it because I needed to humanise my anger rather than just being angry at clouds. Because I know I had that second wind about February. That fucking died of death five days into it. It's rained every day.

27:09Josh Widdicombe:Oh, it's all right. It's not been as bad. I thought it rained every single day in Devon. well it has but it's brightened up a bit like it's not as bad it's definitely not been raining every day since but that we had that long run in january yeah all right okay so you've had a bit

27:25Rob Beckett:it's a bit better these days yeah i thought it rained it every day in exa since the start of

27:31Josh Widdicombe:the year no that's what it said it was gonna but we've had a couple of days where it hasn't rained all right we went to the beach recently oh yeah yeah what did you do there just a little walk um we uh just went for a walk how far is the beach from exit 25 minutes um drive yeah no that's nice

27:51Rob Beckett:very nice isn't it i'm asking ai about exit and rain why are you doing that yes according to the met office which is based in exit as we know it has rained every single day in 2026 so far

28:03Josh Widdicombe:oh that's interesting last week it's not rained today either okay so it could be the first day Could be the first day. Maybe I'm just too little at the moment. Maybe it's in the county. The street.

28:13Rob Beckett:Well, you've not been there three days a week. Oh, that's unfair. Two and a half.

28:18Josh Widdicombe:Let me tell you about my weekend. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Let me tell you about my weekend. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. That's four days. You'll love my, you'll love the, you'll absolutely love the schedule I had. For the weekend? The last five days. Thursday. Starts with that train saga. Yeah. Yeah. It starts you pegging it. Starts with me pegging it. I get on the train and then I go and I go to Rangaby, Romesh's production company. Right. His podcast.

28:47Rob Beckett:Why are you doing that?

28:49Josh Widdicombe:Why am I doing that? Yeah. Because I've had it in for like two months. Right. Okay. So I get to Rangaby, do the last leg meeting on a Zoom. Yeah. Do the Romesh podcast. How was that? A lot of fun, though. So there were some builders in a Holland and Barrett next door smashing some stuff up. So we had to fit the podcast in their lunch break.

29:19Rob Beckett:See, they don't put that bit on the podcast on their one, do they? No, no.

29:23Josh Widdicombe:That would be an episode for us. Exactly. We'd leave the banging in. We'd leave the banging in. And then on the way to St Albans, this felt like too much i did the joe marler podcast as well i don't need to speak

29:40Rob Beckett:if i speak what's the joseph mirino quite if i speak i get in trouble i don't i don't speak no you're just look let's josh is working less and the proof's in the pudding yeah the proof's he's on the 7 a.m train up to london to do two podcasts and a tour show tour show lovely because

29:57Josh Widdicombe:he's working less more show in two months absolutely terrified i forget it all it's all

30:02Rob Beckett:fine so they're great i love those ones after a little break yeah well you think i'm not gonna know any of this oh no i know all of it it's fine yeah but what weird you know i haven't said these

30:11Josh Widdicombe:words in two months but they all still go in a row it's weird isn't it it is weird um so then i went to my hotel slept well done then i had lovely sleep and then i woke up i went to the gym Yeah. I had to pay to go to the gym, Rob, because it wasn't a hotel with a gym. I got in a bit of trouble at the gym. Okay.

30:36Rob Beckett:Wet gusset?

30:37Josh Widdicombe:Not wet gusset, no. I went in my, I went, no sun spells. No sun spells? Yeah, the new me. Did some weights.

30:45Rob Beckett:Oh, you're just wearing the lining? Just the lining, the new me, yeah. See, that's what people love about you, Josh. You are willing to evolve. I am willing to evolve. You won't do things until you go.

30:56Josh Widdicombe:but I will evolve if it makes me.

30:58Rob Beckett:No, but I don't think, I think you just didn't think about it. You just thought, here's my shorts going on my pants. I can't wear naked dick to the gym, but you can.

31:05Josh Widdicombe:Exactly, you can. Exactly. So I got there. So I'd paid, you know, you can pay like a one-off thing to go to a gym. Yeah. So they gave me a towel when I paid. He gave me a towel at reception. I've never been to this gym before. I went downstairs. I pumped some iron. I ran 5K. and then I came back up, bought a protein shake and left my towel. This is the man that should be on the front cover of Runner's World. Wow. And then walking out of the gym, I'm about just rounding the corner and a man chases after me and is the receptionist to basically say, mate, you can't leave your towel on reception. You've got to dispose of it downstairs.

31:52Josh Widdicombe:You can't be leaving me to dispose of your sweaty towel.

31:55Rob Beckett:I think one...

31:56Josh Widdicombe:I understand his point, but it's a genuine mistake. I've never been to that gym before. So you just thought you'd give it... They might have been for it up there. Well, it's because that's where it had been given to me. I was like, oh, it just... Do you know what I mean? I wasn't...

32:09Rob Beckett:Yeah. I wasn't like... I wasn't in the tower disposal in the changing room. Obviously, I hadn't got changed because I was going to the hotel.

32:15Josh Widdicombe:You didn't get changed? No, I got changed. It was next to my hotel, so I got into... Right, so you just went in your gym. So you didn't go in the changing room?

32:23Rob Beckett:I didn't even go in the changing room. So you just gave him a sweaty towel?

32:26Josh Widdicombe:Yeah.

32:27Rob Beckett:But did you say, where can I put this? Or did you just leave it on the side? I just left it on the side unthinkingly, Rob. Yeah. It wasn't malicious. No, I know it wasn't malicious. But I think him chasing you down the road. What I would do in that situation is go, you know, that Josh Whitton's coming. He just left his dirty towel here, grubby little bastard. That's what I do. Just write what they say about him on that podcast. He's a dirty bastard.

32:54Josh Widdicombe:so i apologized but i did think i'm never going there again

32:58Rob Beckett:i do think chasing you down the road a bit much where like you say if you've not been to the changing room you've not been there before you've just left it on the side because that's where you've got i think that's fair enough but no it's a mistake but did he make you come come back

33:10Josh Widdicombe:no he didn't no he couldn't i'm not i'm not a member he doesn't he had to didn't have anything on me at the end of the day. So what did you say? Oh, sorry. Sorry, I didn't realise. And what did he say? Well, that kind of took the wind out of his sails, really.

33:23Rob Beckett:That's a really weird thing to chase you. Well, obviously, you've just got confused. And also, it's not drenched in sweat. It's got a bit damp, maybe. Yeah, exactly, yeah. And then what did you do? You went back to the hotel and get into bed and go to sleep for 10 hours?

33:35Josh Widdicombe:I went back to the hotel. Shower? Shower, obviously. Well, not obviously, because sometimes you don't. Don't say it like that. Obviously a shower. No, but you don't always. I'm out and about. And then I went and did the last leg.

33:48Rob Beckett:So say, for example, you'd been doing a TV show during the day and you went to the gym at 7 o 'clock and then you did that workout and you got back to the room about 8 o 'clock. Yeah. Shower, obviously? Possibly a bath.

34:04Josh Widdicombe:Okay. But shower, yeah. Because I feel like I'm in a hotel then. I don't know there's something different about it. So you've got more respect for the hotel than Rose? No, I haven't got more respect for the hotel than Rose. I'm not in bed with Rose. Tell me about it.

34:21Josh Widdicombe:So I did that. Last leg. Got back at, you know, midnight. Got up for Dermot O 'Leary. Did that 8 till 10. God.

34:33Rob Beckett:What time do you have to be at Radio 2?

34:35Josh Widdicombe:7. But I was in, my hotel was next to Radio 2.

34:39Rob Beckett:What do you normally do after last segment? You didn't get a car home to Exeter.

34:43Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, which would get me in at about half, two, three. And then I got on the train, Rob. I was so tired. I wonder why. Yeah. I put on my puffer jacket. Oh, the old buffer puffer. The old buffer puffer. Put the hood up so that I was nice and snug. I went to sleep. And I was on a table opposite people. I don't care if they think I'm weird to put my puffer jacket on with the hood up.

35:08Rob Beckett:That's fine. You're getting cosy.

35:10Josh Widdicombe:I got really cosy on that train. And then I slept and then I came home and then I took my daughter to a sewing lesson. Oh, nice. And then I had to go to Bristol.

35:19Rob Beckett:Why?

35:20Josh Widdicombe:Oh, tour. Tour.

35:21Rob Beckett:Oh, my God. So you did that radio show knowing that you had to go to Bristol the next night? Puffer back on.

35:28Josh Widdicombe:Straight to sleep all the way to Bristol. I don't think you're working less. I am working less. What am I doing today? Just this.

35:34Rob Beckett:So last week you did Monday on the podcast. Yeah. What did you do Tuesday? Day off?

35:39Josh Widdicombe:No, I did my other podcast on Tuesday. Museum of Pop Culture, I do listen in. Yep. Wednesday? Well, Wednesday I had just last leg Zoom meetings, but then my son had chicken pox, so I looked after him all day. So, yeah, so you were parenting and working. Well, no, I fucked off the Zoom meetings. I was like, I can't be doing these.

35:58Rob Beckett:And then you did the two podcasts, your tour.

36:01Josh Widdicombe:Actually, on Wednesday night also I had a gig, a warm-up. I did 20 minutes to warm myself back up before the tour show.

36:06Rob Beckett:So it's kind of been a surprise that you remembered all the words because you did a gig the night before. Josh, you are not working less.

36:12Josh Widdicombe:Well, no, the problem was the Wednesday. Where was the warm-up gig? Exit Comedy Festival Gala. Okay, at least it's local. To be honest, I didn't run through that much because it turned out there was someone from my school in the audience, so I did 15 minutes talking to her.

36:29Rob Beckett:Did you have Sunday off, though? You had Sunday off? Sunday?

36:32Josh Widdicombe:No, another day in Bristol. well it's not my fault that i'm doing that's that's normal doing two tour shows yeah yeah

36:40Rob Beckett:that's normal and that's been booked in for a year and a half what isn't is the two extra podcasts

36:45Josh Widdicombe:and the um radio two show i know for a fact right that you are going to a foreign country and you are planning on doing two podcasts from your hotel room while presenting a tv show i'm not

36:58Rob Beckett:saying I don't work a lot. Okay. I do work too much and I'm trying to work less.

37:03Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. You are actively saying you're... I'm trying to work less. How? How? In what actual ways? I'm not doing QI, Rob. Do you know what? If I was QI I'd start to get fucking pissed off now. I love QI. That's why it was such a big decision. Now it's starting to look personal. No, because... He's having a chinwag with Joe Marler. But that's promo, Rob. So you do the promo so that in the long term I have to leave the house less. Okay.

37:30Rob Beckett:What if QI said you could wear a T-shirt with the logo of your new podcast on? Yeah.

37:36Josh Widdicombe:Let's get back in the room, guys. Let's talk about that. It will be weird, though. We're leaving today and entering a world of Mickey Mouse waving, princess meeting and greeting, lightsaber clashing, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror dropping, banshee flooding, Space Mountain launching Galaxy rewinding What's the whole death of galaxy rewinding? Fireworks igniting World of Other Worlds For whatever you love Infinite worlds await at the most magical place on Earth Walt Disney World Resort When you want your spring break to feel like And your kids pool day to feel like

38:21Rob Beckett:And your hotel bed to feel like

38:26Josh Widdicombe:Ooh, and room service to feel like... Because at Hilton, hospitality feels like... Your cabana's ready. Would you like fresh towels? It matters where you stay. Book now at Hilton.com. Hilton, for this day.

38:46Rob Beckett:I actually baked a loaf of bread as well this morning. It ain't bread. You sent me a picture of your bread. You know, we spoke about it before, old heavy loaf. we've got to get that on Instagram it is heavy

38:56Josh Widdicombe:shall I bring some slices up for you tomorrow have we got a toaster at Spotify if not I've got me traveling Michael can you check with Daniel Eck whether they've got a toaster at Spotify and if they have

39:08Rob Beckett:that's going to kick off Spotify HQ that's going to be an email to the maintenance department something's going to get pack tested just because Josh Whittaker wants to fucking crucify his heavy loaf I'll bring up some heavy loaf

39:21Josh Widdicombe:and some butter

39:23Rob Beckett:We'll get there and there'll be a freelance firefighter stood in the corner while you try and toast it. Well, if he's got kids, he's welcome on the show. Two for one. Yeah, two for one. Not many famous firefighters, are there? You know, there's always like famous gardeners that do TV and they go, you know, like people spin off into it. Like, you know, like Bear Grylls is a famous survivalist or Jason Fox is a famous soldier.

39:46Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, you don't really get it with firefighters, do you? Because you even get it with policemen, don't you? Do you? Don't know.

39:53Rob Beckett:Name of a famous police officer. Well, you get a lot with medical professionals, don't you? Yeah, a lot of doctors spin off, like those two brothers. Yeah. Dr. Zander or something. Chris and Zand. Can I, look, can I, I want some help, actually. This is, we're going to Europe in August for a little road trip. That's too vague.

40:16Josh Widdicombe:France? France, okay. So we're going to France on the... I'm sorry, I thought you wanted some help with a specific location. Sorry. I can't give you tips on where to go in Europe. Does anyone know any good hotels in Europe?

40:32Rob Beckett:San Maritz or Benidorm, they're the best two places. No, it's... So we booked Le Chateau, right? So I don't know what's going on here. Sorry, what did you book? Le Chateau. The Eurostar? No, Le Chateau. What's Le Chateau? Le Chateau is Folkestone to Calais, and you drive the car on a train and you stay in your car and it takes 35 minutes. Le Chateau. Yeah. Anyway, so I was trying to book it. So we're going with some friends. I was trying to book it on Saturday and it was coming up at like£444 for a car, family car return, standard plus, which means there's some flexibility or whatever. So I tried to do that and then we were, oh yeah, they're the times.

41:15Rob Beckett:and then I couldn't book it because I couldn't download the LeChutel app because I've got a new phone and it takes four days until you can reset your Apple login. Oh, God. So I waited four days and I reset my Apple login and I've downloaded LeChutel and I put it all in. It's come up 80 quid more expensive. Right. So then I tried to get on my computer and 80 quid more expensive. Nothing's changed in the booking. Exact same car. And then my friends have got the same car, similar car, put it all in family of four exact same data theirs was 80 quid cheaper what the fucking hell in the cachet cookies has happened yeah i don't know what will increase that price can someone tell me is it they know i've been looking if you put it ai i've not asked ai and i don't even know

42:05Josh Widdicombe:how to ask them that no because i don't think you can say what the fuck in the cachet cookies

42:09Rob Beckett:but this is what the beauty of humanity is someone listening will know what i mean exactly we've got the greatest ai of all which is human beings which is humanity humanity because aren't we all just artificial well exactly particles and atoms smashing into each other these words you know exactly spinning on a bloody fucking rock in the middle of the universe yeah right

42:34Josh Widdicombe:man pass the fucking do but let's enjoy ourselves yeah give me a puff on the old bifto

42:38Rob Beckett:and let's fucking slide into this next three hours of this pod. I'm sick of logins as well, mate. I feel like since 10 and 40, I've just fucking tapped out on computers and I can't be bothered. I just can't remember my logins. Pete Bellways go, oh, there's been a data leak. They know your things. I don't care. I can't. Fucking love them.

43:00Josh Widdicombe:Logins are in the shuttle. I don't give a fuck. How much time do you think I have in my life to change my login to John Lewis? I'm going to forget it anyway. Because someone's got it. Yeah. I'm sorry, I need to do one that's slightly different because this one needs to have some punctuation in it, whereas the last one didn't. So I can't have the same one, but I've got to remember all of them, but I'm not allowed to write them down. It makes no sense at all. And my phone seems to decide to remember some but not others. Yeah. And then it suggests some that are just impossible to remember. What the fuck are they?

43:35Josh Widdicombe:If it ain't got one, two, three, an exclamation mark at the end, I'm not interested. Yeah, exactly. It's absolutely mental. And yes, I do open my phone with my PIN number. Who cares? Everyone does. Everyone who's sane doesn't care. Because it's too tiring to care.

44:02Rob Beckett:um i am big moment for me this week josh we're gonna i'll finish on this before small business yeah i signed off my first email as dad oh so they've got in touch with you then

44:20Rob Beckett:oh were you ancestry.com bastards no so obviously my oldest daughter emailed me she emailed me asking for something about her own work and i'm about to go on stage and i was texting her went sorry she's emailed me does she are you not around are you okay she went i'm in the i'm in the bedroom next door to her she can't be bothered to move yeah so she she's rather than walk to her mom she's emailed me amazing amazing so i just replied go and ask your mom to do that and i went to write rob and i went oh my god i'm not rob here oh my word i'm dad and then as i wrote it i was really paranoid can you know you see all those sort of gen x's and gen z's talking about millennials how they sign off in emails with thumbs up and it's too harsh and upsets them i looked at it i don't want to be a cold dad on email oh god loads and then like loads of sort of like love you and like being silly and i thought oh, you're doing too much here.

45:15Rob Beckett:This is easy. You love bombing. But yeah, the first ever email. Oh, God. Signed up as dad. And then I wrote daddy. Oh, do I write dad? Oh, God, I don't know what to say.

45:24Josh Widdicombe:I'm just thinking 20 years, that'll be your only correspondence with her as she, you know, emails you once every two months. When she's travelling.

45:31Rob Beckett:Hi, Dad, just got to Vietnam. Solo travelling's great. In a great hostel. I've met some brilliant friends called Brian, Steve, Gary, and just Lewis.

45:40Josh Widdicombe:Oh, God. Oh, it's all going to be over soon, Rob. Oh, man.

45:47Rob Beckett:Luke, do you fancy going to Ho Chi Minh? Before we can pop over?

45:51Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, in four days once I can get the...

45:53Rob Beckett:Get the login for the aeroplane.

45:58Josh Widdicombe:Have I talked to you about horse riding?

46:00Rob Beckett:I know that she was going and you're in denial about a horse.

46:04Josh Widdicombe:My son's now done his first proper lesson, Rob.

46:08Rob Beckett:This might sound bad. Yeah. I find men riding horses quite funny. And I don't know why. With women riding horses, it looks like a real spiritual connection with the horse. And it's like, I think it's really pure and lovely. And I don't know, I think it feels like a nice thing. But when I see a man on a horse, I don't know, I just feel, it's a little, maybe it's because I've always seen men on horses fighting in more like old war films. But I find a man on a horse in the trousers. I don't know it just makes me giggle the job has makes me giggle where when a woman on a horse is I don't find a funny image but Matt I find a man on a horse funny I don't know I've never seen a

46:47Josh Widdicombe:boy on a horse yeah it's I mean now we're just we're locked in I don't know how are you doing

46:53Rob Beckett:it with them no I'm not doing it go for a nice hack no I'm not doing it with them so I can go

46:59Josh Widdicombe:for a nice hack no um so you're just watching I'm just watching yeah which is very pleasant It's a very pleasant way to spend your evening, to be honest.

47:08Rob Beckett:It's amazing, though. There's so many more, like, you know, doing that kind of stuff for them with the countryside you've got out there and close to the seaside compared to East London. Because East London's cool and fun, but for a certain age demographic.

47:21Josh Widdicombe:A huge amount for the age demographic that they're in. And you don't want to go trampoline parks in Stratford. Climb them all again, is it?

47:28Rob Beckett:It's that, isn't it? Clip them on. Yeah, clip them on. Ex-warehouse now turned into activity centre.

47:36Rob Beckett:Get yourself down industrial estate. We're going up a wall and down again. There's a lot of that. So is he enjoying the horse?

47:42Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, he's loving it. He's loving it. And so I think we're locked in with both of them there. Couple of horsey boys and girls. Couple of, oh my word, what a life.

47:52Rob Beckett:It will be like, oh, the thing is, if we get one horse and they can share the horse and that will save money on riding lessons because we're not paying for the lessons.

47:59Josh Widdicombe:No, it won't save money. The riding lessons aren't nearly as expensive as a horse. They need to up to the price. Yeah, but after a while, they're not going to want,

48:05Rob Beckett:you're going to be renting a horse from to ride as opposed to, they're not going to need the lessons. How long do you know how to ride a horse properly then?

48:11Josh Widdicombe:Well, I think the lessons are infinite, aren't they? You can always get better. I don't know.

48:15Rob Beckett:Yeah, I know, but Tiger Woods don't go for a golf lesson before he tees off now, does he? Not that he's a local club. No. You get to a point where you're all right on your own. Tell me about your golf. My golf? Rob Beckett, let's golf.

48:28Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, that came up on my Instagram.

48:30Rob Beckett:Are you back into golf? so yeah i've started playing golf more now and i've got a lot of time off from june july onwards so i'm gonna hit it hard this summer because i basically want to get oh yeah that's actually one of my problems i hit it too hard oh is it got long arms have you anyway got really long arms um i want to be able to play with my mates and go on golf trips abroad but i'm not good enough yet so i'm sort of doing loads now and i'm filming it as i go

48:57Josh Widdicombe:And how good do you need to get?

49:00Rob Beckett:Well, a lot better than I am. But I want to get to the point where it's like a fun event, not like, yeah, it's all right if you come, mate. I want to be involved in the game.

49:09Josh Widdicombe:Who are these people that you're trying to get in with, Rob?

49:12Rob Beckett:Well, my dad plays, my brothers play. I've got a mate, Lloyd plays. There's loads of Tom Davis plays. There's loads of comedians that play. There's loads of footballers that play that I know near me. I've got my neighbours players. footballers no but i'd like a nice walk who are the footballers i find with no who don't know what i want at all what i'd like to do as well get to a point where i can go on like those celebrity pro-am oh wow where you get to go away and just play golf for the weekend i find it really good i like playing on my own as well i find it really calming and quiet as i walk around playing and i get left alone so i would like to get to a point where i'm good enough to play on those things because they're really fun events and then if i could film myself doing it would be quite good as well people like the golf content and if i'm doing that i don't have to think about being funny it's not like comedy i just basically go and do it because i'm shit it's quite funny anyway but i am bad the clips we've got a couple of episodes basically and at the moment we're just doing little short videos every sunday but yeah if people like it and it does well i might start doing longer youtube videos but again i'm trying to do stuff that's near home well not for me someone else edits it i just play golf and they film it here we go that's the same rob we

50:23Josh Widdicombe:all make those deals with ourselves before you know it every sunday you're like i've got to get down the fucking golf course because otherwise my youtube numbers are gonna drop practice what

50:31Rob Beckett:you preach brother yeah but yeah there's a difference between me playing golf at a golf called five minute drive my house than you going up to do romesh and joe marler oh or or do or yeah because i i will be playing golf anyway you wouldn't be doing a zoom call with suzy ruffle to talk about the Spice Girls in your spare time, would you?

50:52Josh Widdicombe:Well, I would be reading all that stuff, to be honest, and talking about it. That's the truth of the matter. What, film myself reading? Yeah.

50:59Rob Beckett:There's right perverts out there. They'd love that. Don't worry about what you think they want. Do what you want to do and find the audience. This is me reading a book on a train. Read a book out loud on a train. Just live stream you reading a book on a train and reply to the comments.

51:15Josh Widdicombe:I don't think that would be as real and relaxing as just reading a book.

51:17Rob Beckett:Honestly, I think if you live streamed yourself on the 752 from Exeter to London, after about six months, you'd probably get more viewers of Last Leg.

51:29Josh Widdicombe:Should I do a live stream?

51:30Rob Beckett:Adam Hills and Brooker will be on the train with you doing promo for the next series of Last Legs.

51:34Josh Widdicombe:When does this go out, Michael? Does it go out tomorrow? The first time I get the train after this has gone out, Rob, I'll just do a live stream where I won't address the camera. I'll just film myself on the train for five minutes. Whatever happens, happens.

51:51Rob Beckett:Yes. Just have a phone and just you crack on as normal. Just crack on as normal. And just put it out as a video. Do it as a live stream. I'll do it as a live stream. Because then there's a sense of community where people will be chatting to each other. And then at the end of the live stream, you can click post video and see how it goes. Do you want me to tell you when it'll be?

52:09Josh Widdicombe:I'm going to remind myself as well.

52:11Rob Beckett:When is it?

52:12Josh Widdicombe:Do you know what we've got? It's when we've got Parenting Hell in London on February the 25th, Rob. yep so i'll be getting the 752 that day i'm gonna put that in the diary then are you gonna go live at 752 once you're on no she want to get settled do you want me to get settled

52:29Rob Beckett:what time would you like me to go live i think i want you to as soon as you're on the train in your seat prop your phone up and press live and then just be getting ready and stuff okay cool

52:42Josh Widdicombe:So Josh, 7.52. Do you know what? I'll do it the moment the train pulls up so you can see me getting on.

52:47Rob Beckett:So you film yourself getting on. Yeah, okay, fair enough. Okay. Just do it from when you're at the station. People will probably be – say to people, probably around 7.45, logging on time. Yeah, I'll be on the bus by then.

52:57Josh Widdicombe:You'll see me pegging it up the stairs.

53:01Rob Beckett:And you just always sit.

53:06Josh Widdicombe:If you haven't listened to the podcast, there's going to be so many people going, what the fuck? so many people will think i'm mistakenly live streaming they'll find out in the in the comments

53:14Rob Beckett:752 on the 25th of feb perfect all right right small business small business hi rob and josh very long time listener here of three boys nine seven five i wanted to give a small business shout out to my super talented friend claire also a mama of three who makes memory bears from baby clothes or from the clothes of loved ones who have passed the website is made at mine Made at Mine M-A-D-E-A-T-M-I-N-E also on Facebook and Insta Made at Mine Claire has three children put so much love and attention into each bear based in Warnham in Sussex but clothing can be posted she adds signatures initials and special dates to the bears she will pretty much try and fulfill any requests christening outfits school uniforms it would be amazing if you give her a shout out so I can continue having coffee with her on Friday so she doesn't have to get a different job thanks so much Sophie good luck there to Claire at Made at Mine.

54:09Rob Beckett:Also, thank you to the lovely couple after Woken that were really polite and kind after the show and said hello and said how much they listened to the podcast and stuff. They're a really, really, really nice couple. So thanks for being so nice.

54:21Josh Widdicombe:Dear Rob, Josh and Michael, I'm a fan of the pod, day one listener. And myself and my wife saw Rob at the infamous Kendall Leisure Centre gig. Oh my God, I've got something to tell you, Rob. Go on. Is it too late? Should I save it for the next episode? I think I'll forget. Yeah, I'm just going to tell you. So we had the woman on last leg who does see it, say it, sorted. You know that voice?

54:46Rob Beckett:See it, say it.

54:47Josh Widdicombe:What about bombs and stuff on trains? Yeah, so we had a guest on who said they loved that woman, that voiceover as part of that. So we were like, let's get her on. She comes on. She said, I've seen you live to me. Yeah. she was at the notorious Barnard Castle warm-up show we did. Oh, really? I couldn't believe it. When no one knew what a podcast was. She knew what it was. She knew what it was. She was there for the correct reasons, but she said she thought most people didn't know what was going on.

55:22Rob Beckett:They didn't. They were just two famous people in Barnard Castle, basically. Two blokes off the telly at the art centre.

55:27Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, so we were doing all that crowd work. Little did we know, if we'd picked the right person, it would have been the see it, say it, sorted one. We'd have had an absolute field day.

55:38Rob Beckett:We'd have had 10 great minutes of stuff that would never be used in the tour. Exactly.

55:44Josh Widdicombe:That's what warm-ups are all about. The infamous Kendall Leisure Centre gig. I know we aren't from Bromley, but I would love it if you could give my wife's pony party business a shout-out. We are parents to an eight-year-old and twin three-year-old boys. After maternity leave ended, my wife Camilla started a pony party business, the tiny pony parlour. she offers sessions for individuals small groups or full-on birthday parties children have the opportunity to groom the ponies cover them in glitter ride and generally have fun-filled introduction to ponies the response from parents and children has been amazing so i'm sure she's going to make a success of it but any extra publicity you could offer to help boost this along would be amazing you can find her at the tiny pony parlor on instagram or the tiny pony jimmyparlor.co.uk.

56:28Josh Widdicombe:Thanks, Jamie. Cheers, Jamie. Josh, I'll see you next time. See you next time.

56:34Rob Beckett:Bye.

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57:13Josh Widdicombe:Hello, Parenting Hell listeners. Recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whittacombe here.

57:21Josh Widdicombe:I have got a new podcast. Josh Whittacombe's Museum of Pop Culture and I'm going to say it I'm about 85 % sure you're going to love it here are the reasons why number one I'm confident if you're listening now you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny number two I'm confident if you're listening now you like podcasts number three I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob you prefer pop culture to people talking about things let's be honest boring things like history, economics or politics I know I do and that is why I made this podcast I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics.

57:59Josh Widdicombe:See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realised Milli Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr Blobby, when Ghostwatch convinced BBC viewers ghosts were real, when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh, The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from U2, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in The Fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history.

58:37Josh Widdicombe:Stiffnecks will learn, loose necks will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday, perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe, and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whittacombe. Available everywhere on the 1st of January.