S12 EP19: Tom Rosenthal

9:06Josh Widdicombe:I think it's a bigger deal than that. Is it? Yeah. Bond or something? The way people were acting. There was people craning their necks, and I don't think it was to see Sarah Lancashire. I thought it felt... No disrespect to Sarah Lancashire. She's a big deal.

9:18Tom Rosenthal:She's a big deal. There's a few security people looking at me a bit off, because I walked around the block like four times. I'm trying to get a look at Tom Cruise. It's like, no, I'm trying to find Beckett, in Whittacombe. But yeah, thank you very much for having me. It's a real honour. Thanks for doing it. My partner is a massive fan of you.

9:36Rob Beckett:Oh.

9:37Tom Rosenthal:And she listens to every single episode. Oh, God. And so I'm therefore sort of forced to listen to sort of by a society.

9:44Rob Beckett:So, yes. So when would you have to hear it by proxy then? Would you have it on in the car or in the house?

9:51Tom Rosenthal:Yeah, we listened to your interview with Adebayo Wacken Fenwar in the car. Do you remember that one? Yeah. Do you remember the bit in that interview when you were saying, well, I think you can put our success down to the fact that we're, you know, we have working class roots, and that gives you a sort of fear that you have to keep working hard. And if you look at the people that we started with, the real successes are actually kind of the ones that do have that fear, and the ones who sort of faded away don't have that. And Gigi was like, are they talking about you? I was like, yeah, that's me.

10:21Tom Rosenthal:That's why I'm not on the biggest podcast in the UK, I got that middle class laziness.

10:27Rob Beckett:No, but I wasn't talking about you directly. No. It's a real privilege to be on this.

10:34Josh Widdicombe:We've got two questions for you that came up in the intro. Hit me. You did the Lunchtime Club with Rob.

10:40Rob Beckett:Which for the listeners was basically, this was 17 years ago, where we were in, when you're new comedians, you go up there and we got selected to be in a show where me and Tom, Joel Donny, Ian Smith and Liam Williams all did about 15 minutes each. great line up and it was on a midday one o 'clock midday we all did 15 minutes each about an hour and a half show and they did we get paid or they paid our accommodation yeah it was accommodation they paid accommodation to do it there is oh you got the photo the poster

11:07Tom Rosenthal:oh wow let's have a look at that it says it's a five pound show and it says catch them now before they're huge normally when you see that on a poster that is a lie yeah can I see

11:19Josh Widdicombe:so Tom the questions are what did you and Rob have an argument about oh my god

11:24Tom Rosenthal:it wasn't an argument I do well I remember a slight conversation about well I mean maybe it's the different thing but it was about like what comedy is and what comedy should be I think

11:44Tom Rosenthal:look the lunchtime Club you do you do 50 minutes every day yeah and as far as I understood it it was a time to experiment and to sort of find your voice um yeah as a comedian so i i took that on a few shows like i was quite influenced by stuart lee at the time and i sort of tried doing the stuart lee thing like he was sort of like repeat something for a long time which and if you don't know stuart lee he's an absolute master of his craft but sort of part of his comedic style is he does something for so long that it kind of loses the audience but then he does it for so along and in such a musical sort of jazz style way that he kind of brings the audience back and he's so skilled that he can bore the audience and then when he picks his time to bring them back he kind of brings them back so I was you trust him implicitly with that precisely and I was experimenting doing that having done stand-up for a couple of years and what would happen is I would do something for a long time and the audience would get bored and then I try and bring him back and they've just gone it's hard when you're not Stuart Lee and I feel like we had a conversation after one of those gigs and you were like Tom you can't do that you're sort of taking the piss out of the audience and I was like I don't know just sort of trying it out and I feel like that is a reflection of our sort of different approaches and yours has been way more successful.

13:02Rob Beckett:There wasn't the dispute Tom. So there was two things I was dealing with one you were trying to find your voice I think I found my voice quite early so I wanted to capitalise it. on my voice. You came out the vagina.

13:15Tom Rosenthal:You're unbelievable. And I remember thinking this when we were doing the Lunchtime Club. Like this man, he just walks on stage and he's sort of the same. And forgive me if that's doing you discredit, but it felt like you were so natural on stage. And you'd get on stage and you'd be like, do you guys toast pitterbread? And they'd be like, yeah. I love that rude thing. And he goes, oh, he's so hot. And when the dragon breath comes out, I'd be watching it and be like, that's not a joke. What's that?

13:39Rob Beckett:Why do they love that so much?

13:41Tom Rosenthal:I've never found out why either. He's just talking. He's just talking. And I'm sure, you know, your account of me in that show, I was so stressed before gigs. Yeah, you would pace. I'd pace up and down and I'd sort of monologue to myself and I'd be so stressed about going on stage and trying to trick the audience into liking me. And you would just so naturally go on and they would. And it stuck with me. That really stuck with me. And I'm glad that, you know, you have become basically one of the most successful comedians of our generation because it would be depressing otherwise. to see someone who was so naturally gifted at it who just sort of disappeared.

14:15Rob Beckett:I think, though, talking about that thing of where you're coming from, I had no other options than making this work, so I was coming at it from a very professional, I'm good at this and I wasn't good at anything, so I've got to make it work so I can earn money from it, where you were coming at it from a more... I was just having a laugh. Now I'm older and the pressure's off financially like that. He's like, oh, that is exactly what you should be doing at the Fringe, being silly, experimenting, messing around with stuff. But that's what the beauty of that show was. that were all different. I mean, that wasn't what I said we argued about.

14:43Rob Beckett:It was the music before her. I have no memory of that. So you were playing some sort of man, it was like sort of weird house music. Yeah. Sounds like me. And then I was like, but Tom, it's midday and they're just like, a couple from Inverness. They're going to just put something cheesy and shit on. That was an argument, but you went, all right, fair enough, and then we suck it on. Yeah. I'm R.J. Decker, a private investigator uncovering the Sunshine State's darkest secrets.

15:16Josh Widdicombe:Tuesdays, it's the premiere of ABC's hottest new crime show.

15:20Rob Beckett:R.J. freaking Decker as I live and breathe. He's a private eye. It's not a standard murder. It's someone bigger. And a public mess. Trying to get someone back to prison today?

15:29Josh Widdicombe:You go to prison one time and suddenly it's all the jokes. R.J. Decker series premiere Tuesdays on ABC and stream on Hulu

15:44Josh Widdicombe:next question who's the best at flyering Rob's given his answer oh mate

15:48Tom Rosenthal:I've got a name I would put Ian Smith as the best flyer personally he was good to be fair but are you going to say you? I mean you're fantastic with people you are you know you make them want to come

16:03Rob Beckett:I just repeat the same word at the bridge and they're like that sounds rubbish but you were always so good you'll get on to your parenting anyway but I see what I felt was like when people are trying to be too experimental like that at an early stage I felt like Daniel Kitson who I absolutely love can do that Stuart Lee thing and stuff like that but both Stuart Lee and Kitson especially learn the ropes and the clubs on the way up and learn how to do the basics so that then you can sort of juggle with the ball do you know what I mean where I think that people saw Kitson doing that and then they went straight into Lesby Kitson.

16:35Tom Rosenthal:I was trying to be Picasso when I couldn't paint.

16:39Rob Beckett:One of the best gigs I've ever seen was when you had your dad in the audience and you fucking rinsed him for 20 minutes and I was dying. It's funny that most have ever laughed at a gig I think because you'd be really funny with it you were still doing your material but in pulling him into it, taking the piss out of him.

16:57Tom Rosenthal:He's a very good sport he's been very supportive and it's his fantastic career that allowed me to be experimental at the end of the fringe in 2011. Well, let's talk about you as a parent. Yeah, I'm so nervous about this, man. Oh, you seem it. I just feel like... Is it because Gigi will be listening? Yeah, she's a huge fan. And she does 99 % of the parent. I feel like, for me, parenting hasn't been hell. I absolutely adore my baby and I sort of adore my partner, but it's nothing to do with what I contribute. But is that bashfulness? I don't know. I don't know. I just I feel like my baby is so seemingly happy.

17:36Tom Rosenthal:She's 11 months. Yeah, she's 11. And she's such a sort of joy to be around. And parenting really sort of shines a light on your deficiencies as a person.

17:47Josh Widdicombe:oh yeah and i oh yeah don't worry about that i've had the best year of my life with a lot of the

17:53Tom Rosenthal:worst things that have happened in my life in this 11 month period um and uh i i can't believe how much i love my baby i honestly i don't think i've ever missed a human being before having a baby to be honest and now i'm like away from a bit for like five days and it's a nice break but with the baby um and it is absolutely magical but yeah gg gg's really been through it she had some some of the postnatal mental health stuff and it's just been uh i'm so grateful to be at this point with a happy family but i mean it is a lot it's been a difficult yeah 11 months what didn't help was that i went to did a full edinburgh fringe run uh in the sort of peak of the the mental health episode so it was uh you're kind of locked in by that point you can't yeah how old was the baby at that point uh she would have been like six months was the baby up with you yeah yeah yeah the whole time i've never experienced going on stage as a sort of relief as like the easiest part of my day but that's sort of what i was looking forward to doing i used to think oh this is really tricky and now it's just i'm just talking to people in the room

19:00Tom Rosenthal:but yeah i speak i mean it's it's amazing in it and uh yeah man i always get little bits of your life and stuff from gg and it's she's like oh i've gone to the maldives and it's just was in

19:10Rob Beckett:like breaking down in tears yeah josh is sleeping on the floor he's on antidepressants

19:20Rob Beckett:it's mental when you hear about what you say feel free to chip in because we don't give a

19:25Tom Rosenthal:fuck we say anything it does sound bad when you repeat it back i've had the floor sleeping thing as well though to be honest because i've i only really discovered i'm a real sleep uh i'm mad in my sleep apparently i sort of kick stuff and so i've been we went to glenn eagles recently yeah

19:38Josh Widdicombe:so I heard about your floor sleeping with Glen Eagles and I had to sleep in the floor and the bathroom just the three of you Glen Eagles supposed to be amazing but it was you, Gigi your baby and John Robbins John Robbins was there

19:53Tom Rosenthal:it was my birthday

19:54Rob Beckett:so it was a golf holiday and a family holiday oh so you went with your family and then someone to play golf with precisely yeah that's quite intense on John no he loved it I would say though that's quite a lot of pressure

20:06Tom Rosenthal:on John isn't it

20:08Rob Beckett:ask him man ask him if he loved it but uh so right so john so gg yeah and the baby yeah and john are in the bed you're in the bunker one in the air this is what i mean man i've not done

20:21Tom Rosenthal:a lot of the night stuff because like gg will wake up with the baby and because we sleep in separate rooms i mean i basically sleep through it and my baby also feeding yeah yeah so how long

20:29Rob Beckett:is it still going no it's it's sort of we do like the mixed feed thing but it's still it's still How long did you breastfeed before? Was it quite like the start?

20:37Tom Rosenthal:We have never exclusively breastfed. It's always been mixed because, again, the bloody birth was a nightmare, a five-day labour, and so it took a while to latch and all this. Oh, my goodness. You would not believe it. What happened? Well, we went in and it was like, this isn't good. It looked like the waters were broken, but because it wasn't a bloody flush, it was just a little dribble. They were like, it hasn't. So just go wait at home for five days. And she was in immense pain for five days, and then we went back in. and they were like, no, it actually probably did break. We also got a doula.

21:07Tom Rosenthal:The doula was like, oh, if you do all these stretches and stuff, there's no chance of your baby being back to back. And then we get in and the baby's back to back. So you're just a professional liar, are you? Right, so we get to the hospital. It's always bloody awful. You're in so much pain, but it's not kind of... And then they were like, we've got to do an emergency C-section. You can cut it out.

21:24Rob Beckett:It's grim and it's scary. And then the recovery is mental.

21:27Tom Rosenthal:Bloody hell, mate. Yeah, it was a lot for Gigi. And, you know, I was there. do you know what I mean that's why I can't be like oh god it's been such a hard life because she's been through it all yeah

21:38Josh Widdicombe:it's tough that because you obviously it is horrific for Gigi but it is still horrific for you as well yeah of course because I remember we had an emergency cesarean and we come on I don't think you can use we then no we did it alright alright sorry I had an emergency cesarean we had a baby but Rose had to see you was near an emergency and i was there yeah but it is scary because it feels like a tv medical drama yeah because suddenly you're putting on scrubs and mate you and you know we had this thing

22:18Tom Rosenthal:as well when they were like they gave us some painkillers and they and they and then they check they check like how far up they they it's not that they can't oh the feeling i thought you and the baby it was back to back back in the throat so so this geezer is is he's sort of touching gg to be like can you feel there you feel so then uh he feels up to her neck and he's like can you feel there and she's like no and then they all look they're like that ain't good that ain't good and gg sees his face being like oh my god basically the painkillers have gone too up so then she's like couldn't swallow and stuff and i'm just like this is fine you know that bloody meme with that dog in that burning down house you know this is fine this is fine what are you like in a crisis to be honest I think I'm good but I've got no one else has ever said that I just feel good I don't think I make anyone I didn't make you feel good before a stand up gig

23:09Rob Beckett:do you know what I mean don't be silly you're a bad that's what a crisis though that was more you're in sometimes it is mate

23:15Josh Widdicombe:I love your stand up Tom some people they are I think I'm quite good in a crisis because I think I'm panicky in day to day life yeah when the bad thing happens you're quite good at I'm liking right well this

23:29Tom Rosenthal:is happening now yeah to be honest we have talked about this and I was quite emotionless during the entire thing which I thought is good because you don't want your partner to be like we spoke about afterwards and Gigi was like were you worried when that was happening and I was like no no not not really and she was like I wish you were a bit more worried like I wish you were worried but you was acting not worried of course like it's not good when the bloody doctors are going oh this ain't good you know what i mean yeah but uh it was one of those slightly dissociative things and then obviously the baby comes out and the baby's like happy like a yeah this really bizarre sort of hallucinatory experience where i looked at my baby's face and i could sort of saw some of my ancestors i saw like my grandparents face in her face and then i put the baby down and the baby seemed really happy but and you're like you want to be looking after this new thing that's just coming to the world doesn't know what's going on but there's also like your partner who you laugh more than and you want to be like are you all right and there's not really a funny end to

24:24Josh Widdicombe:this it was absolutely horrendous I think it's good that there's a happy end yeah well the happy

24:29Tom Rosenthal:end is just it's just my baby and she came out and she's uh she's honestly so wonderful and seems to have no um impacts from how horrendously gross her introduction to the world was

24:41Rob Beckett:she's got no idea um I'm just yeah so grateful to all the people you said you had a tricky 11 months are you still sort of in that moment or is it getting a little bit so it's it's so much

24:51Tom Rosenthal:better now like gg's like mental space is like she's basically like her again she's got a bit of an iron deficiency i don't know whether you guys are coming across this so she's still pretty yeah we had nine deficiencies so she's got to get an ivc is it looks very looted

25:07Josh Widdicombe:as in she wouldn't do the irony

25:10Rob Beckett:am I right am I right there's a crease here I've got two tablets a day I look like a piece of shit what's going on

25:20Tom Rosenthal:but man I'm so proud of her and I'm so proud of my baby it's absolutely magical man

25:24Rob Beckett:but if your partner is going through that Lou went through a very difficult time in breastfeeding and mental health problems there's only so much you can do as a partner you want to be there but you can't what can you do, what you can say, because they might need some therapy or medication. There's only so much to do as a supportive partner. But it's good that it's calmed down a little bit now. We had to snip her tongue.

25:43Tom Rosenthal:Did you have that?

25:44Rob Beckett:Oh, tongue tie.

25:45Tom Rosenthal:Oh, snip? I thought you said sniff. No, she had this little...

25:49Rob Beckett:Does it smell like milk? Has she got any?

25:52Tom Rosenthal:And I didn't like... I mean, I hated the way the person came around my house and had to clip the...

25:57Rob Beckett:They did it just in the house? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? A lot of fucking dog's balls? I thought that'd be a hospital trip.

26:02Tom Rosenthal:Honestly, I don't like any surgeries on tiny babies. But fortunately, hers made her life a lot better. So she's now breastfeeding, really happy. And she's such a happy baby, man. I see these other babies out and they're all crying and stuff. And mine just waves at people. I feel so blessed and so fortunate. And I don't really want to have another because the lottery suggests. Well, that's the thing. That's what everyone says. Stick or twist. It's nothing to do with our parenting. We've just been so fortunate. Well, that's when you find out that you're lucky. So is she sleeping well then? Yeah, she sleeps through the night, man.

26:34Tom Rosenthal:Again, I don't really want to broadcast it to loads of people because you feel like I'm jinxing it, but she's an absolute dream.

26:38Josh Widdicombe:Well, let's talk to you about your sleep, then.

26:40Tom Rosenthal:Yeah, go on.

26:40Josh Widdicombe:So you're sleeping... I'm sleeping amazingly well.

26:43Tom Rosenthal:It's ridiculous. I'm in a separate room, man. Sometimes I have the monitor if Gigi's not feeling well, but the monitor, literally, she never... She wakes up at seven. It's crazy. I don't know what's going on.

26:51Josh Widdicombe:So why does she...

26:51Tom Rosenthal:Why do you sleep in a separate room? Oh, well, yeah, because I've found out, like, apparently when I'm asleep subconscious, I just sort of do lots of kung fu. You kick in. I'm like this. And I have no sense about it. To be fair, now I think about it, when I go to sleep, there's like four pillows on the bed and I have a couple of duvets. And when I wake up, max one pillow on the bed. You've got a couple of duvets? I have to. Because you lose one. I'm not lying. I've started using four duvets. And I wake up with one. What kind of tog situation is that? I don't know what is going on in my sleep. A cumulative tog of 28.

27:26Tom Rosenthal:But Gigi's like, there is no hope of me sleeping because I'm just like this, apparently. What's going on in my subconscious? Wow.

27:31Rob Beckett:So is the baby in the bed with you? We've tried it. We've tried to sleep.

27:35Tom Rosenthal:Yeah. Like all of us. And, you know, at 1am she'll just be like, you have to leave. So are you in separate rooms forever now? I think possibly, yeah, yeah, yeah. We always, like, fantasise about the time where we could sleep in the bed together. But I think I need to get some kind of treatment. I don't know what this thing is.

27:53Rob Beckett:So is it untenable for someone to sleep with?

27:55Tom Rosenthal:I don't know. I don't experience it. I don't have nightmares. I don't have night terrors or anything. But something to do with my... And you sleep well. You wake up refreshed. I sleep fantastically, yeah.

28:05Rob Beckett:You ever put a Fitbit on to see what kind of calories you're burning?

28:08Tom Rosenthal:Yeah, maybe that's why I can't get fat. Have you thought about filming yourself? You can't get fat. I really struggle to get fat, yeah. Oh, really? You can eat and drink whatever you want. It's not like I'm trying, but I haven't got out of breath for like four years and I just look the same. So I think it might be the stuff I'm doing at night. The heavy cardio that I'm doing in my bed. I don't know. I don't know, man. But I genuinely would be curious. You have a big listenership. if anyone knows what's going on with me like i want to find out what's happening then in the night well mate i don't know right okay but gg says like i'm doing sort of jackie chan come food in the entire kicking the legs ever yeah yeah from the moment you drop off she just thinks it's impossible to ever sleep in the bed with me uh and it could be an excuse because she's the first person to say this so i don't know whether she just doesn't actually like this and have you slept with other women different kind of podcast oh strap in no i honestly it's never been reported to me before and i'm quite concerned about it because i would love to sort of stay in a bed but i think it's what size bed you got it's big enough a normal double yeah i mean glen eagles is yeah so that's the biggest bed you're gonna get we tried it once and then kicked me into the bathroom so you stepped to the floor in the bathroom yeah yeah the thing is i don't mind stepping on the floor man i've got quite a bad back so for me floor is way better than like a

29:19Rob Beckett:soft bed but why the butt heated floor in the bathroom was it yeah why couldn't you go on the

29:23Tom Rosenthal:floor in the room well i would have been too close to simi who was also in the room and apparently I'm not only moving but I'm making I'm making sounds. Simi's the baby? Yeah Simi's the baby and she thought that it would be too disruptive to the baby's sleep to have me anywhere even near she does like me by the way. So were you on the floor or were you in the bar? I need to clarify our relationship is good. She's not just like desperately trying to kick me off so you can listen to your podcast. But yeah man look the baby's sleeping really well I'm sleeping really well Gigi's sleeping really well we're just not around each other.

29:54Tom Rosenthal:Can I ask were you on the floor the bathroom or did you go with the bath yeah no I was in the floor of the bathroom but I put a few duvets oh my god I just remember we rang up to so the service at Glen Eagles is absolutely incredible right so all the people they kind of know who's standing there and they'll be like oh it's the

30:10Josh Widdicombe:best place of really I went just for Christmas a couple of years ago yeah and it's the most festive experience I've ever had festive experience I loved it

30:19Tom Rosenthal:and and you can testify to this all of the staff there they'll be like Mr widdekombe like how was your golf yesterday did you enjoy they know everything about each other so they're all talking to each other about it and say did you enjoy that drink that the barman made you precisely i so good so like at 9 p.m on like the second night we're there or whatever we ring up and go look we need more bed clothes uh because uh tom needs to sleep on the bathroom right so first off so i get a couple of like underlings come up with like whatever duvets and sheets and yeah and then there's underling a bit of bedding okay I was just because basically the the not the people you've been speaking to new people the average staff right average stuff I don't know how would you say not boss I just say a member of the housekeeping okay a member of the housekeeping came as opposed to an underling right I'm sorry it's not really

31:08Rob Beckett:helping my accessibility here yeah this sort of privileged middle-class boy this underling brought me my bed clothes the proletariat popped up right and so a couple of the staff come up yeah

31:23Tom Rosenthal:and they give me some duvets and some pillows right and i put it on the bathroom floor and then the boss of housekeeping comes up and he's like mr rosenthal are you sure that we can't sort you some sort of bedding i'm like no no i'm fine on the bigger problem than glenn eagles you can't solve this the rest of the time at Glen Eagles all the staff are just being like how was your sleep are you sure on the bathroom floor I think I'm the only person in Glen Eagles history who's chosen to sleep on the bathroom floor no I like it did you not have got in with John Robbins I could have done actually but I had to take it up with him I did think about it I don't want to upset someone else's sleep but I'm perfectly happy being a goblin on the bathroom floor and it was your birthday and did the staff know I forgot about that and did the staff know it was your birthday yeah they did so they thought

32:13Josh Widdicombe:they've got a great story there

32:15Tom Rosenthal:I mean perhaps I'm very very grateful to them I like sleeping on floors well Glen Eagles was actually closed unfortunately it was too frosty so we had to go we travelled up to Scotland we went to some local golf courses Dunhill Dunblane absolutely superb Andy Murray had played Dunblane a few days before us actually and it was fantastic Sadly, John Robbins won both of the golfs. How much golf are you playing? Even on my birthday, he wouldn't let me. As much as possible, which is basically none. Right. I have a baby, yeah. It's going to pop out for six hours. Since all of my... I've messed my knee up so much that I can't play sports for actual athletic people.

32:51Tom Rosenthal:So now all I can do is golf.

32:53Rob Beckett:Golf is the only thing you can do so you can't play father-side football anymore.

32:55Tom Rosenthal:No, no, no.

32:55Rob Beckett:He's a good player as well. Sad.

32:57Tom Rosenthal:I tried comedian's football once, last New Year's. Finn Taylor slightly under-hit a pass and I tore another ligament.

33:03Rob Beckett:no really

33:05Tom Rosenthal:it's sad but I'm old now man so I'm a golf guy how old are you I'm 38 I'm at retirement age for professional golf yeah there's a reason why they have to retire Ronaldo's beating me sure but you know most of them he's not sleeping on the floor is he let's talk about your tour please yes

33:19Josh Widdicombe:why not what's it called it's called

33:21Tom Rosenthal:whatever people say I am

33:22Josh Widdicombe:that is what I am oh yeah and you've got the arctic monkeys style cover

33:26Tom Rosenthal:of the tour I've somewhat ripped off the arctic monkeys yes

33:30Rob Beckett:slightly pastiche Have they been in touch to sue?

33:33Tom Rosenthal:No, the show's not been that successful yet. Fingers crossed they sue. It's quite hard to type in that, to find it, isn't it? Listen, I know you... Again, me and you coming from different angles. Your tours are, yeah, because one word, smash or whatever. Boink, boink. Yeah, boink, boink.

33:50Rob Beckett:I've got an announcement next tour.

33:52Tom Rosenthal:Is it? What's it going to be? Boink, boink, boink.

33:54Rob Beckett:Just being picture of you on a... Bobby Dazler. Why is your show called Giraffe? One, because there's a reason why... Sorry, who's promoting their tour? At the end of the show, I explain why. So it's a reference to that. Also, it's quite handy because it's a good way to theme the poster with an eye-catching image because you can't be copyrighted by giraffes. And they're everywhere. Ah, very clever. And I wore a giraffe costume to go to the Brits to sell tickets. And it's quite good for theming the giraffe thing. Well, this is it. I've been offered loads of opportunities to meet giraffes at local zoos.

34:26Rob Beckett:Yeah, you turn them down? Yeah. I've met some giraffes and I haven't even had to call it giraffe oh sorry I didn't realise there was the most pathetic dick swinging conversation all the time

34:34Tom Rosenthal:my baby's got a toy giraffe it's called Albertine

34:37Rob Beckett:oh is it is it the one the chewy one it's massive oh no there's a little sofa in the giraffe they chew on it have you seen that one oh yeah we had that one it's like a little like a teething toy so have you got the dates there Rob yeah I have I just up wrote Tom Rosen's

34:49Tom Rosenthal:yeah I'm I'm really proud of the show my last tour the one about being circumcised it was it really tired me out and stressed me out and I sort of didn't enjoy it very much. Because you went in deep trauma It was pretty deep yeah and I tried to make it all funny but also I was trying to convince people that circumcising babies is a bad thing which isn't necessarily the funniest sort of thing.

35:10Rob Beckett:And also not everyone's doing it that week. It's not like trying to get people to quit smoking and I find with circumcisions people have got their minds pretty made up no one's in the balance, it's not a swing vote is it

35:28Tom Rosenthal:yeah it really sort of weighed quite heavy up here so i thought this tour i just wanted to make a show that i'd enjoy the synagogue tour was a regret but what is this show then that was a bit more traumatic i just wanted to like basically enjoy myself on stage which i genuinely have sort of never really managed to achieve i feel like as we talked about before the lunchtime club man like it was stressed me out and i was always trying to like um give people what i thought they they wanted and try and become a version of myself that i thought that and it's like you that's not actually how it works like you were perfect example in 2011 you sort of go up and you just want to have fun you want to like enjoy the experience and the privilege of being on stage and try and sort of like express the joy isn't it this is what I never saw it you're so

36:08Rob Beckett:you're so good at stand-up you're so funny I think that's why your acting career in a way sort of that zoomed off to such massive heights because it took the pressure off you trying to

36:17Josh Widdicombe:find out who you were you could just do that but here we go you should work in press man

36:22Rob Beckett:That's why I think podcasts are so good though, because people get to see people properly. But you on stage enjoying yourself. Like when your dad... That's what I noticed. When we did Lunchtime Club, you were either doing stuff like self-sabotaging or being the funniest out of all of us by a country mile because you were nailing down on that thing. So if you're doing that in this tour, it's going to be unmissable because you're a brilliant stand-up.

36:41Tom Rosenthal:That's very, very kind, man. And yeah, I have enjoyed performing it so much more than any other show. And it is kind of speaking to what you just said, basically. because the reason I call it that is it's a series of routines about things that people have categorised me as and I'm kind of joking about how people see me which I feel like I can be more authentic to myself if that makes sense without wanting to be too sort of wanky about it.

37:06Rob Beckett:That's the best comedy when you can be honest to be yourself. Run for the dates, Rob. Exeter, Oxford, the old fire station. Oxford, the old fire station. Matinee, my guy.

37:14Tom Rosenthal:Oh my goodness. Your 258 thing stresses me out so much. How can you do that? Piece of piss.

37:19Rob Beckett:yeah it's easy for you isn't it

37:21Josh Widdicombe:we've got a question

37:22Tom Rosenthal:for you

37:23Josh Widdicombe:for me do you change your

37:24Rob Beckett:pants after a show well if I'm doing 258 absolutely not no no after a gig on the way home if you're going to go and drive in the car for a few hours no

37:31Tom Rosenthal:do you

37:32Rob Beckett:yeah I get changed into a different outfit are you worried about a car crash I'm going to crash my car because my arse stinks

37:40Tom Rosenthal:they'll cut you out and they'll be like oh it's Rob Beckett oh we're trying

37:43Rob Beckett:to keep it you've got a smelly pair of underarms look at that skin marks well that's the thing I buy cheaper pants so I can have two pairs I'll get two pairs for one of your sons built. Oxford.

37:54Tom Rosenthal:About a tenth of the material, to be fair. Do you have pants where you've had a good gig so you wear them again? No. I sometimes pick up a pair of pants and I'm like, no, this is too important. I can't wear them. I need to wear them. Oh, really?

38:06Rob Beckett:All that second level pants.

38:07Tom Rosenthal:Yeah. Parenting Hill podcast is first level pants.

38:11Josh Widdicombe:If I had a big day, like an important day, and I went to my pants drawer, I'd probably pick a nicer pair.

38:20Rob Beckett:No, so I will... It's more so that if I'm doing sport in them, I need ones that are, like, comfy. If I'm running in them or playing football. Whereas I've got some pants where I'm like, if I'm just going to sit around the house, I can wear these ones because they're not as comfy, but I could not do a long drive in these ones. I've actually got something to admit about my pants. They creep up my fire, but I've got big fires.

38:39Tom Rosenthal:All I can think about is the chill blaine on your penis, man, which is not a chill blaine.

38:43Rob Beckett:No, it's just a bit dry.

38:44Tom Rosenthal:It's absolutely fine. I put a bit of pseudo-crim on it. Go on the next day.

38:46Josh Widdicombe:Congrats, man. I'm glad. It's just a bit dry skin. I've had a bit of a problem with my pants. Go on. I got some new shorts for when I was... I got given some shorts for my Runner's World cover. And can I guess that they're shorter than your actual pants? No, they're not shorter than my actual pants. I did get some that were shorter than my actual pants, but they went straight in the charity shop bag. Okay. But the inner pant...

39:08Rob Beckett:So, Tom, do you know about this? If you go for a run, he has big, baggy, sun-spelled boxer shorts on. You know, like big granddad ones. And then what he does is when he pulls on his running shorts, you know they have the inner lining, like a swimming trunk inner lining for running. He keeps the pants on underneath and pulls them up so they're sort of billowing out at the bit that goes right into the top of the thigh.

39:28Josh Widdicombe:I see that. So the pants was too tight and the sun spells were too grouped up. And I've actually caused a bit of a sore area. Oh, goodness.

39:41Rob Beckett:Chafing. Chafing. Because you shouldn't be wearing the pants. Yeah. That's why they're designed like that, to keep everything in the little gusset and then you can run free do you do you find it if you're running like you you sort of will blame a time on no I don't do times so this man you're talking to is on the front cover of runners world and I said to him what's your PB at running do you know what he said long no seven but no no no time or distance he just looked to me dead in the eye the front cover runners one of the way seven seven seven kilometers I don't know what that means. Seven out of ten.

40:18Rob Beckett:I think you went seven kilometres is the furthest you've gone, but you don't know how fast you run them.

40:21Josh Widdicombe:I think I might have done seven miles. No, I can't have. I simply can't have. That should be your quote on runners meet your way. I simply can't have.

40:29Rob Beckett:Tips for your next marathon in the next page. I can't have run seven miles. Sorry, let's do the rest of these gigs. Brighton, Reading, Leicester, Canterbury, Colchester, Swindon, Bristol, Newcastle, Sheffield, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Chorley, Coventry, coventry dublin belfast cardiff birmingham reddin again norwich cambridge york liverpool leeds salford salford lowry bath comedia london clap and grand york newcastle liverpool again charley again fair play ah you're finishing the tour in charley nice hometown gig i i don't i

41:04Tom Rosenthal:don't really know where where it's finishing or stuff i think you're supposed to finish it clap and with like a big with like a big bang it's not but it's not now no i think it probably was and then you added more in September yeah I mean I'm in that sort of middle scenario where like this is selling really well we should add some dates and now the Oxford matinee is a struggle my home one would technically be reading we're thinking about adding a maidenhead to be fair because that would be actually my

41:27Rob Beckett:home yeah do you live there now he's still in North London I live in Bristol now do you still live in like by Arsenal I did yeah because Tom came with me I got invited to the director's box at Arsenal yeah and I didn't realize I've a plus one yeah and she went where's your plus one i was like oh i thought it was only one one person so i knew that tom lived about 10 minute walk away so rungan went if you can get to um the hybrid um emirates now and you have to have a suit and a tie you can get in the director's box

41:55Tom Rosenthal:popped in of course very privileged to make your 2016 recap with a picture of us and david o 'leary i just found it's a very random beautiful photo that's another thing i don't i can't i don't go to football there's no time i mean i know i live in bristol but i just can't i managed to watch him on the phone and stuff, but it just goes away. So why are you in Bristol? Is that where Gigi's from? Yeah, she's from there, yeah, yeah. So you've got help nearby? Yeah, that's where her mum lives, yeah. Yeah, that's good.

42:19Rob Beckett:And you're not too far really from your parents, I suppose. No, no, no.

42:23Tom Rosenthal:It's working out quite well. We tried to move to where I was brought up in Cookham for a little bit and that just didn't, that wasn't good. No. Too Tory, weirdly. I come from real Daily Mailville. Do you? And Gigi's just like, I can't.

42:34Rob Beckett:The underling guy, right? Yeah. Who thought it? Tax Act knows filing taxes can be confusing, so we have live experts on hand who can help answer any questions you may have. Questions like, can I claim my SUV as my home office if I answer work emails in my car? If I adopted 12 dogs this year, can I list them as dependents? And, am I doing this right or am I doing this very, very wrong? Our experts have the answers to those questions and many others. Tax Act. Let's get them over with.

43:45Josh Widdicombe:can I ask about your dad was on TV when you're a kid yeah yeah yeah it's interesting because

43:51Tom Rosenthal:I'm obviously with an Epo baby and you have to be aware I don't know you are in there because you haven't gone into sport oh thanks I'll tell the Instagram comments I don't know you are an

44:04Josh Widdicombe:nepo baby in the same way

44:05Rob Beckett:no I think nepo baby is more like if they got you into that industry where like you've come from privilege because your dad did well and that kind of thing but like not but I don't think nepo do you think about your kids being nepo babies at all

44:16Josh Widdicombe:yeah I do it does concern me not concern me that's wrong that's the wrong word because I don't worry about it obviously it crosses your mind

44:24Rob Beckett:day to day I feel like though I've still got because of my background and where I'm from and my working class roots and doing the who do you think you are and I was basically just like farmhands from the West country. I feel like I've got a few get out of jail free cards. You know, go past Monopoly. Just so you know, Rob, it's DNA Journey,

44:45Josh Widdicombe:which was a very different show. Yes, it was a very different show.

44:49Rob Beckett:I feel like my family's history's earned a couple of free runs at Nepo Baby.

44:56Tom Rosenthal:So how many generations until they become Nepo Babies? Their grandkids are the ones that are fucked. When their grandkids have got a podcast.

45:04Josh Widdicombe:so does it how was it how did it feel to grow up with your dad on TV honestly

45:09Tom Rosenthal:kind of fantastic to be honest like I'm it was such a privilege and such a cool thing I mean yeah there were like some kids at school that you know like you it sort of puts you on a little pedestal they want to sort of bully you but I went to such a nice school that the bullying was so it was just honestly like if you could pick a dad you would pick him like I got to see Michael schumacher win a world title and i got driven around hungary by fernando alonso and i went to rugby world cup final and all this it's just like i mean i can't really i don't have any problems with it it was amazing yeah and he's also he's such a i saw my dad have a fight in the south circular one i think there's certain famous people like there's certain famous people that are quite polarizing right oh yeah your daddy's so i think if you're like clarks and son or whatever like some people will love it and some people will hate but my gym gym roast everyone was just like I really like him I've got no opinion precisely yeah which is basically between men and women you know

46:14Rob Beckett:as a sports anchor he does nothing political really yeah just exist in the world of sport and also on top of that it's like um there's nothing smooth he doesn't do anything that's like humiliating he wears a suit and just says welcome to the show precisely what do you think it's not like Well, what me and Romesh do, really.

46:32Josh Widdicombe:It's a different industry, isn't it? Can I ask another question? Please. I don't think we've discussed this before. It's rare we get a new topic. I remember, and I've never discussed this with you, but you were on John Richardson's documentary about OCD. Yeah, man, yeah. And you've got OCD. Yeah, man, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what's that like as a parent, which is... Because I was always very much controlled in life, and life was controlled, apart from when I was drinking. But when parenthood came along, it was like, oh, you can't control this. This is carnage. Rob's got a good analogy with a warehouse, but we won't go into that.

47:06Josh Widdicombe:No, I don't think it's a time. Yeah, but how did that play with having OCD?

47:11Tom Rosenthal:Honestly, like, for me, it only manifests in sort of quite private insanity, as in just like tapping stuff a certain number of times or looking at stuff a certain number of times. If I'm nervous before something, for instance, just before this, I did have to walk over some paved stones like eight times. It feels like quite a private thing. not just that you were lost it's that yeah uh but also it's so it's it's more like odd suspicious behavior that i'm hoping to kind of hide from my child for as long as she no no doesn't notice right yeah i i've never really been a kind of clean freak ocd person it's much more just like odd ways that my brain tries to um control life uh yeah which are yeah privately insane and increase during periods of stress such as before shows or before doing something like this um so like i yeah i mean i'm not going to pretend that our house is like a particularly controlled environment and honestly i found um simmy's propensity for uh being a mad baby like only really heartening i'm never trying to like control her and be like stop pooping on the floor and i'm just like oh you poop on the floor that's really fun yeah it did take me a while to get used to the smell of the poop i must say like i don't know why don't you clean it up and throw it away it smells.

48:29Tom Rosenthal:Call me old school. Oh, we've got a dog. Oh, my dog. My dog sometimes does try and eat the nappies. That is the horrendous. It's so bad. Once, honestly, this is the worst thing I'm saying. I'm so sorry, Spotify. Once the baby learns from the dog. So the dog has gone and have a look and then the baby's gone into it. Oh, my God. And we're like, no, this is, that is parenting hell. When your baby tries to eat its own equipment. With the dogs competing with the baby all the time.

48:52Rob Beckett:Dogs are lovely, but don't you ever look at and think you're thick as shit. They say dogs are so intelligent. They're not. They're fucking idiots. And they're so needy sometimes. It's just like, mate, fucking back off. I have a bit of self-respect.

49:03Tom Rosenthal:You pick up your baby and you kiss your baby and it's like, it's so nice to see it. And then the dog... Chill out, mate. It wants the same treatment as the baby. It's like, no, you're not my genes. You're a mutt from Romania. Sorry. You've got a rescue one from Romania. You've got a street dog. Yeah, we've got a street dog. Mother fucking street dog. So my baby is learning from a street dog. She's going through the bins trying to get her. we've just given you some milk. We also think the baby might be allergic to the dog, which is a horrendous situation. She gets these things with her eyes. It's when she's been in the dogs, like the dogs on the sofa.

49:33Tom Rosenthal:So we're like, what do you do then? Send the dog back to Romania. There's other people in the UK. Maybe cook them. Oh, man. Yeah, it's a lot. You can't deport a dog.

49:46Rob Beckett:I don't know how you do it.

49:47Josh Widdicombe:I'm sure you can find someone else in the UK to take your dog. Is that why I'm off this podcast?

49:52Rob Beckett:she's a great dog if the dog's making your child ill the dog's got to be moved I thought I was allergic to my cats at one point

49:59Josh Widdicombe:we don't know

50:00Tom Rosenthal:we don't know what she's allergic to maybe she's just allergic to my neurosis

50:05Rob Beckett:that's the thing I suppose with OCD everyone just assumes it's sort of cleaning or stuff being lined up because that's a part of it but in a way is it more challenging that it's your own mental torture where most people don't even notice you're doing it and then you're exhausted because you've just spent 20 minutes doing that, arriving somewhere.

50:23Tom Rosenthal:I don't know, man. I have spent quite a lot of my life trying to kind of get over it. I mean, these things are just sort of baked in your brain, but it's like a lot of wellness stuff helps, you know, like breathing and meditating and just trying to contextualise stuff that's not all in your control. It's the same kind of approach I'm trying to have to stand up. I'm trying to channel a bit more of a Rob Beckett thing where you walk on stage and you just sort of enjoy the fact that you're... Sorry, I'm like not calling you an amazing stand-up right now. You're also an amazing stand-up. It's just the level of chill that you seem to have before going on.

50:50Tom Rosenthal:It's stuck with me forever. Well, me and you were both very nervous. Yeah, you sit beforehand and you write out what you're going to say. And I'm like, yeah, that's all. And then why don't you just come in one bloody word and just be hilarious?

51:01Rob Beckett:Yeah, but that's because I couldn't write. If I could write, I would have written a bit more. It makes it a lot easier when you haven't got other options. My limited skill set really helped me out because I wasn't having stuff I could do. Because I auditioned for plebs, I didn't get that.

51:18Tom Rosenthal:Oh, and it's really, really held you back. I'm so sorry to hear that. But yeah, man, I don't know. It's just in your mind, you know, and you can't really get rid of it. And every day you're sort of, your brain's going, oh, you need to tap that 16 times and everything will go well. And you always do it. And then it goes, no, you've got to do it 32 times. It's just lying to yourself to try and cope with being alive. And honestly, I don't even have it that bad. But you can really tell if I'm a bit nervous or anxious because I will be sort of tapping the table 64 times. and uh i nearly got thrown out of a venue in edinburgh once for like acting suspiciously oh really yeah because like i was hanging around and i was like i was tapping a fire exit 16 times

51:57Josh Widdicombe:and the guy came over and did it just come into your head i've got to tap this 16 times yeah you

52:02Rob Beckett:just don't you don't you don't feel right until you do it just talking about it make you want to do it more or um yeah it's one of those things yeah it's like uh you remind yourself the more

52:11Tom Rosenthal:you feed the beast the bigger the beast gets essentially which is what what yeah i i use Not with you because you... Because I've got all my night terrors. And my heart goes out to people who have it worse than I have. Some people can't leave their house, man. So I'm just very fortunate that it's contained a bit. Also, it's so narcissistic. Mine is literally connected to my professional anxiety. Some people have OCD and they're like, if I don't do this, my parents are going to die in a plane crash. And mine is like, if I don't do this, I'm going to die at pear-shaped.

52:38Rob Beckett:Do you know what I mean? It's ridiculous.

52:40Josh Widdicombe:I'm going to have a slightly bad gig. We always end with the same question because we're getting turfed out of this room. It's been an excellent. This has been great. Thanks, Tom. It's been really good.

52:49Rob Beckett:I want to say, don't be so hard on yourself. The first year having a kid is horrendous and anything that you've got, whether it is anxiety or you get depressed or you have OCD or whatever, or you've got a bit of a drink problem or you gamble, all of that will go up tenfold because you're under so much duress. And I know you're going, I'm sleeping fine, but it's still, you know, you're not, you're on a floor of the, you know. The floor of the Glen Eagles bathroom. You're under four duvets on the bathroom. I've seen that review on TripAdvisor. But yeah, you're doing brilliantly and you sound like you're both dealing amazingly with what is quite a challenging set of circumstances.

53:22Rob Beckett:She's got great taste in podcasts. And you've always been an amazing talent. You're your own worst enemy. You know that already. Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

53:29Josh Widdicombe:Last question. Always the same. I don't know if you've ever listened to this bit of the podcast, but what one thing about your partner, very rarely do we think the partner is actually going to be listening. She definitely will be. Yeah. Is the reason where you go, she's incredible, that's why you know i'm so lucky to be with her as she's the best parent ever and what thing does she do as a parent that slightly grinds your gears but you haven't brought it up but this would be a good chance to let her know i thought you told me about last year good luck the answers

54:01Tom Rosenthal:are fairly obvious to be honest i think um what amazes me about gg is uh the amount that she's been through and the amount that she's had to suffer like i have never seen it once even Slightly impact the way that she is with Simi like when she was going through like private turmoil Simi would never have been able to tell and I think that She's taken every single bit of her energy and put it into our child and that is the most incredible Sacrifice that I've ever witnessed and their relationship is the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed The one thing that slightly grinds my gears is she makes me sleep on the floor of the bathroom

54:43Tom Rosenthal:All the staff are going to eat. You always think I'm an absolute mental case now. But honestly, it's been the best and the worst.

54:50Josh Widdicombe:You are the in-joke of the underling common room, aren't you?

54:54Rob Beckett:Shout out to the underlings. The staff were incredible there with Simi Man. It was a magical place. Tom, it's been amazing. Thanks, mate. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Whatever people say I am, I am. You can write. Nearly. But yeah, get your tickets now. Cheers, Tom.

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55:48Josh Widdicombe:Hello, Parenting Hell listeners. Recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whittacombe here.

55:56Josh Widdicombe:I have got a new podcast, Josh Whittacombe's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it, I'm about 85 % sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny. number two I'm confident if you're listening now you like podcasts number three I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob you prefer pop culture to people talking about things let's be honest boring things like history economics or politics I know I do and that is why I made this podcast I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics see above basically I wanted a podcast that realized Milli Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I.

56:40Josh Widdicombe:Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby, when Ghostwatch convinced BBC viewers ghosts were real, when a band burned a million pounds for a laugh, The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from U2, and David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in The Fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are, and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't, and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history.

57:11Josh Widdicombe:Stiffnecks will learn, loose necks will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whittacombe. Available everywhere on the 1st of January.