S12 EP23: The One Where Rob Poops The Bed

19:56Josh Widdicombe:An organic loaf. Yeah. But can you get a number 40, an inflatable 43? No, you fucking can't. What I would say is, though, Josh, this thing isn't like sort of just like if you lived a bit further out of London or even in a bit of London not full of hipsters. Well, this is the interesting thing. Because I could do that in Bromley, which is technically London. Well, no, but you could do that. Don't tell you, Laz. If you lived in Soho, You could have done that. I'd rather die. I don't think that would solve any of these. No, but what I'm saying is... If I lived in Soho, Rob, I would have a breakdown within 24 hours because I'd try and go to get a pint of milk in the morning and there'd be people coming back from a night out covered off their face.

20:39No, but what I'm saying is there are bits of London where that is still a possibility. You was in a bit more of a hipstery bit.

20:44Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. Actually, it's interesting you say that. Thank you. Because we went back to London this weekend. Yeah. So it was my daughter's friend's birthday. Yeah. So we thought, why don't we spend a weekend in London? It was Mother's Day. It's a nice thing to do. East London makes me feel really, really stressed. This is great. See what this feels like? It feels like, you know when Big Ange went on the overlap and just slagged off Tottenham? Yeah. I love this energy about you. For people that don't know Big Ange, he's a football manager because it does feel like he's a character in East Endless. Yeah, Big Ange used to, basically hated Pat Butcher.

21:21Big And used to manage Tottenham. Yeah. He got sacked by Tottenham. They've got worse since he's gone. Then another manager got sacked. And then the day that manager got sacked, he was on one of the biggest football podcasts. And he was basically... Not one of the biggest podcasts. ...going in on Tottenham, the way you're going in on East London.

21:38Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. I like the people that live there. Yeah. But it's totally impractical as a way to live. Yeah. And... Sorry, I feel like I'm interviewing myself on this podcast three years ago. Yeah. No amount of new restaurants that do small plates makes up for the lack of things you can do with your kids. Yeah. Or the ease you can get stuff. It's an amazing place to live if you haven't got kids, I think. Yeah, I agree. But with kids, it's hard. It's wild. How are your friends getting on then with kids there? Oh, they're deep in the Kool-Aid. Right, so they're into that vibe. They love small plates and they don't want party streamer but balloons.

22:14Josh Widdicombe:No. They love small plates. they want to start worrying about secondary schools at the age of six because the options are so bad ok, is that the vibe? that's the vibe my child either gets education or they're in a gang they're the two options but that barata

22:38Josh Widdicombe:do you know my problem I realised they've been carrying a zombie knife to school but we don't want to lose a crock at it We love these crockets. I was walking, so I'm filming my show at my, what do you call it, special. It's an Americanism, I struggle with that. I'm just filming my tour show. It's not a special. There's nothing special about it. Everyone's fucking doing them. Well, no, not everyone. Not most of the public. No, but most comedians are, it's not a special. It's a fine. You're filming your fine. I'm filming my fine. When are you filming your fine? May. This year. In Hackney. Right, but when's the tour finish?

23:19It's the last night. But you're not adding on the tour in this country? No. You're done in May, so you're finishing. Yeah, yeah. Lovely. Lovely.

23:27Josh Widdicombe:So I'm filming my fine. Yeah. I was staying in a hotel in... We were staying in Shoreditch. Yeah. Because everything we were doing was in East London. Yeah. And I thought I walked to Hackney Empire. Yeah. The problem I had with East London... So why did you walk there to see the venue? I had 40 minutes to kill. I thought I'd rather walk. Oh, we had to go and do a rec. Oh, for your special, we had to go and have a look at it. Let's go and have a look at it, meet the lighting guy. Got it. All that kind of stuff. Yeah. And, you know, offer opinions on things. Opinions I'm just manufacturing off the cuff and will stay with me forever.

24:05Josh Widdicombe:Okay. You're making decisions in the immediate moment about stuff you don't really understand, but it will define how the special goes forever and ever. Exactly. Yeah, perfect. The fine. The fine, sorry. Yeah. I got... What are you wearing for your fine? Well, we had a discussion because I wear a feeler top on tour as to whether I can clear the feeler logo. Right. When is it going to be on telly? Do you know yet? That's the kind of discussions we were having. Yeah, so you've got a little sticker. What was I saying? When's it out? God knows. Okay. How would I know that? I'm not going to watch it.

24:39Josh Widdicombe:So you have... I love my tour show. I'm delighted with my tour show. I'm delighted it's being filmed You're not going to sit down and put it on But I'm not going to put it on Which comedians do you think do that? Oh, I can tell you a few Do you know for the fact that they No, no, no, just Feet up, having a watch Yeah I think there's one thing Watching it when it's been I struggle with it But some people If you're editing it, getting it ready You have to watch it But do you think there's anyone That goes Oh, I've got a couple of hours spare I might stick on my special from 2011 No I think you'd have to be sectioned If you did that Yeah Yeah, I've got a name.

25:14Josh Widdicombe:Will you bleep it out, Michael? But they definitely do this. I could imagine this person doing it. Oh, yeah. Could you also cover my mouth there, Michael? Because there's been a news story about the Royals being lip-read. So we need to start doing that, you know, like a footballer. Okay, I'll tell you. I don't need to cover mine to ear, do I? Anyway, so you walked over there, 40 minutes, to have a look. My problem with East London is there's no centre, there's no middle ground. So it's either a chicken box blowing along the street and hitting into a man sleeping under a sleeping bag. Yeah. Or it's a pottery studio.

26:00Josh Widdicombe:And there's just nothing in between. Yeah, it's like very twee and hipster or like quite rough and ready. And so suddenly you move out of London, even to Bromley's a good example, and you go, oh, wait a minute. 90 % of the country are living with these quite normal shops. Yeah. 90 % of the country just go to Topshop, doesn't still exist. Our price. Our price, or Woolworth's. To grab a few beers. And that's why the high street is thriving. I'm still getting my head right. But do you know what I mean? But so you don't have a good time at the party and it was nice to see your friends. She had a lovely time at the party.

26:43Josh Widdicombe:It was so nice to see our friends. She had a lovely time on Saturday with her friends. Saturday evening I went to Aylesbury. Yep. Great example of the high street. Yeah. Lovely place. Did my gig in Aylesbury. Came back. You know, it was all nice. Yeah. But my God, I was relieved to get to see some grass. Yeah. Well, you've made a good move. I've made a good move, Rob. You've made a good move. I didn't even mean to talk about that. I don't know why I got into that. I don't know. What were you talking about? Do watch my special when it's on TV. You're fine. Talk about TV. Yes. Tell me about Malaysia.

27:18Josh Widdicombe:So you're away from your kids for two weeks. That was really hard. Did not like that. No. First week was fun. Enjoyed the show. Second week enjoyed the show, but there was a problem. Yeah. Well, one of the highlights of the trip, though, which I think you'll enjoy, is I made friends with my driver. Oh, yeah. So we have a driver, a local guy. Not like you. Called Duffy. Daffy? Now, Daffy's English. I'd probably say I'm better at Malaysian than he is at English. No wonder you made friends with him. Right. But, like, his English was okay, but because of my accent. So how far was he having to drive you?

27:50Josh Widdicombe:You weren't in a hotel on set. I was in a hotel, and then we'd drive half an hour, like, into the jungle. Right. So I was in a nice hotel, but every day was in the jungle or the different scenery. We had to get boats to go to different locations. I've never gotten with someone so well for years, but we couldn't speak. Did you just kiss? No But like We just used words And noises But you know when Carlos Tevez Juicing Park And Patrice Evra Were all best mates At Man United I didn't know this Right So Tevez only spoke Spanish Yeah Park only spoke Korean Yeah Korean And Patrice Evra Could speak French And Spanish Right So he was a bit of a link Because he could speak to Tevez But no one could speak to Park Park yeah and I was like well how did that work but I've still experienced it where like we'd say stuff like because those monkeys in Malaysia I'd say like yeah like no but that monkey monkey and I point and then he knew that is that monkey and then it was like said brown monkey bad black monkey good I know I was saying be like naughty monkey and he was just laughing at my voice and I was laughing his voice and we're just sat there pissing ourselves laughing right it's got a great time of him and then he wore a Tottenham shirt so I bought him arsenal shirt oh i got a photo of me and uh daffy in the arsenal shirt so that was all good the the problem was oh the monkeys are i hate monkeys i used to think i like monkeys yeah that cheeky little monkeys these brown ones are awful yeah the black ones are very calm the brown ones so what they do is they're not allowed to see you with food so if you've got food on you they'll just follow you and try and grab it and so you're in the car at this point or you're on set so they're they're floating around everywhere but back at the hotel some of them are in the hotel grounds right and then unfortunately for me i was coming out and by this point this is something he talks about the second week of filming went a bit bad because i had a bad stomach oh yes horrendous illness so my problem is i go to the country i get well involved i've got the ice i've got the ice i'm eating the local food i'm drinking in the local river i'm fucking in yeah but then normally what happens is because i've shit myself in indonesia now india and malaysia yeah that's top three three eyes i just i just think my body through the eyes of a needle yeah all three with it all three needles and i just think i'm i'm too white and i'm from too much peasant stock to travel this much yeah i shouldn't be there i've got these a box of nature valley cereal bars the only things i can eat right anyway as we're driving home daffy knows i've got a bad belly but you don't know the severity of it because we can't speak neither do we so you're going to need to give us Well, I lost four kilos at one point, and I shat brown water for nearly four days in a row, and I shat my bed.

30:34Oh, my fucking God. And I've never shat my bed before. Oh, my God. Have you ever shat your bed?

30:38Josh Widdicombe:Not in my conscious memory. No, I shat my bed. That. It's a horrible, horrible thing to say. So talk me through what happened when you shat your bed. I just woke up in the morning and it was shit. Oh, so it didn't weight you? No. It had just fallen out of your ass? Yeah. Was it dry or was it wet? It looked like a make-up smear or like a fake tan smear as opposed to a log. So here's the decision then. Do you alert the hotel to what's happened? Do you ball up the... I think... Can I say what I'd do? I'd be too gutless to tell them. So I think I'd strip the bed myself. But also the language barrier.

31:17I mean, what can you say? Because it did like... It won a log. I tell you what, if it was a log, I'd have jumped for joy. Yeah. But I hadn't seen one for days. Yeah. That's just a smear.

31:31Josh Widdicombe:That's the weird thing. If I woke up and there'd be a log. It'd have just been a solitary... I don't think anyone shit the bed. A solitary Mr Whippy next to you. I would have... Do you know what? I would have been disgusted. You'd have kissed him.

31:43Like the World Cup. Finally, I'm back. No, but no one's done a proper log in... You'd wake up halfway through. No one could do a proper log. I don't think anyone shit the bed is a log. Did you strip the bed? No. So what I did was... Oh, you just left it. There weren't loads. It was just like a little... A skid mark. It looked like if a lady had loads of makeup, or a man, on their forehead, and just wiped the bedding on their forehead, that's what it looked like.

32:07Josh Widdicombe:So you presume that's what they thought. Yeah. He's wiped the middle of the bed on his forehead. And then what I did was... At anus level. Yeah. But he would have easily just been able to just scrumple it all up and not touch it. So what I did was just when I saw that geezer the next day, I gave him some ringgit. Some what? Ringgit, the currency. Oh, right. I thought that was like a kind of cleaning. I think that's what was wrong with me at one point. Got bad cases of ringgit. So it just came on out of nowhere. Did that mean you could only eat nature's bars? Yeah, only eat nature's bars. And then what happened was I had a really bad day.

32:39Then I thought I'm all right again. Then I started eating again. Then it came again.

32:41Josh Widdicombe:Would you be in the jungle and you'd get the shivers and you'd be like, I need to get on the toilet now? It was awful. I had a fever. I was shaking. But there's no toilet in the jungle. But I had Imodium to stop me shitting. But then all that happened when I got home, I can't believe we're talking about this for so long. It's only just started. So, yeah. But I'm wearing, like, white linen on the beach being filmed. Yeah, of course you are. And I'm just like, at any point here, I'm going to... I like George Michael. So, anyway, I've got a bad day. So I'm in the car. Daphne's driving me back. I've got my nature bars.

33:13And then it's Ramadan. Yeah. So we pull over and go, do you want some food? Some local food?

33:20Josh Widdicombe:Because the sun's just gone down. I think they do a thing where they give out this sort of porridge, this rice soup thing. It weren't what I was after. No. When you have got a bad belly, you don't want to be given Ramadan soup for a window from a stranger. Oh, sorry, this wasn't from Daffy? No, so he just said, do you want some? I was like, what do you mean? And basically what happens is, and it's lovely. It's a real, like, I think. They go out and they give all the people in the town, give it to people driving past. It's a big celebration. They make it. And it's something like a local restaurant makes it for the people.

33:51But I'm not saying no. I mean, I would have tried it if I weren't.

33:55Josh Widdicombe:Is it a takeaway situation? Yeah. So I've now got a soup and a clear bowl and my nature bars. He takes me to the hotel. I get out and I walk along. I get to my hotel. It's like one flight of stairs up. I get to the stairs. Show yourself. No. It's a massive monkey staring me out. I'm holding food. Yeah. All I will do is go to bed. He stands up, chases me. you've got to just give up on the food Rob you don't even want the food so I throw that on the floor which feels like I'm being disrespectful but at the moment I'm like well he's giving it to me I'm going to give it to the monkey and then I hide my nature bars up my jumper because I can't lose them because there ain't a lot I can't have like a rang down with a fucking fish sauce again you know what I mean I've got all the locals just stop speaking Rob stop trying to name them so I'm hiding that up my jumper because I don't and then I'm like trying to be nice to the monkeys and then I find out trying to be nice to the monkey?

34:53yeah like being like oh look you know okay how big is this monkey? like is it physically scary? I'd say this the big one he's probably he's probably about he's only little so you're not physically worried he's going to rip your face off I'd say he's no but bite me in rabies if you had to find a human for a fair fight Warwick Davis that kind of build so I've hit that on my jumper and then I'm trying to be like like placid and nice to him.

35:20Josh Widdicombe:And has he had the Ramadan soup? Well, yeah, one's on that, but there's loads of them, aren't there? They move in a pack. But then, anyway, so then I have to get the bloke at the hotel to, I went, help me. It's a monkey. Bad brown monkey. Right? Not the nice black one. Yeah. So then he's, I was like, well, he works this hotel, he'll know what to do with monkeys. Yeah. So I'm following him up. No, no, because this happens a lot. Yeah, I know. so we walk it up the steps and then he's like shoo shoo the monkey shoo shoo the monkey then the monkey starts having a go at him and in the end he's just sort of the monkey starts screwing up at him so I just sort of like push past him and run to the room and just leave him but I spoke to Daffy and he said to me no teeth no teeth what does that mean?

36:08if you show your teeth to a monkey it means let's have a fight oh my god I can't do no teeth no teeth I'm like I've been bowling about starting on monkeys accidentally. So all these monkeys are starting on me because I'm smiley, smiley, teethy, teethy. And they think I'm going like aggression.

36:26Josh Widdicombe:You're very calling card. Well, it's just the first thing you see. Yeah.

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37:06So yeah, that was right. A terrible time with the old stomach, but yeah.

37:10Josh Widdicombe:and how then so you were filming in the day and then in the evenings you're just going to bed and feeling yeah because the first week i was having that i went golf we had a couple of drinks but i'm just in bed all day and how much filming are you doing so some days very little some days like you go a 40 minute boat ride to an island in the middle of nowhere and then you're there all day and then get the boat back so it's very dependent you're doing that with the shits oh yeah so yeah it was it was good it was fine everyone everyone really looked after me it was lovely but i was like this is a bad so you know when you're away from home and what's the show called tempting fortune tempting fortune so if we watch the second half of the series of tempting fortune you're gonna lose four kilos over the second half and you're going to basically be between shits at every link yeah you you could watch it and try and pick the point where i've lost four kilos and shit myself.

38:05Because also it's chronological so it will have... Yeah it will definitely be in order.

38:08Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. Yeah. But I don't... Yeah. And when's it on? I don't know. We don't know then why do I do that fucking arse? That's a question beyond my pay grade. But then I did oh my god. When I could eat I went back to Lankawi Airport and had a Burger King. I had... You're back. I had... Were you like Michael and Leon? It was like my first proper meal. Yeah. Because you just can't get a dry toast in the jungle. It's just not about... How would I have been as a veggie? Oh, I was also a veggie stuff, but it's very spicy and curry. And it's beautiful. It's amazing. But you cannot eat it with a bad belly.

38:51Josh Widdicombe:So basically, presuming there's another series, how are you going to approach it? Are you going to take some extra stuff in case? Well, first of all, I'm going to take my mouth shut. I'm going to wear a face mask walking past monkeys. But I'm just going to hope for the best and just try and be a bit more sensible with food because I will eat anything, which is my downfall in these countries sometimes. You've got to enjoy it. You've got to enjoy the local cuisine. Yeah, but I think I might have a few more chicken wraps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If available. Well, you've certainly started that today. But then at the Burger King, I had a long chicken.

39:24You know what's a long chicken burger? Right, yeah, yeah. I don't even know. I don't ever have Burger King. Honestly, it was one of the best meals I've ever had in my life. and then when I got to the other airport, I had another one.

39:33Josh Widdicombe:Oh, my God. And then I basically had two Burger Kings in the space of like four hours. Four kilos back on. Four kilos back on. I was on the plane. I woke up and I had so much salt. I woke up. I've never woken up like this before. I woke up because my tongue was fizzing.

39:51It felt like someone had turned my tongue on. Oh, my word. And I'm like... And it took 14 hours because I had to go round around. Oh, my God. Which is, you know... Was part of you thinking, let's gamble? Look, mate, I've had a terrible time. Let's just fucking sling it straight across Tehran. What's the worst thing that could happen?

40:13Josh Widdicombe:Well, the good news is you had that when you were out there. Because if that had kicked in two days from coming back and you were doing it on the plane... Yeah, so luckily, that's happened twice now. In India, it was just... I had it before, but apologies for how much... Oh, it's good to know. Scathological talk. And so what was it like when you got home? So we got home and then I got home and I landed at 5.30 in the morning and then I took the kids. What do you want to do? Because I was like, I haven't seen them. Weekend or? Weekend, yeah. We went to Gravity Trampoline Park at Blue Water. And it was quite full on.

40:45But it kept me awake. And then in the evening, because I got to 8 o 'clock and I was like, I was so jet-lagged and tired. I was like, I've got to try and stay awake, Luke. Because if I go to sleep now, I'll just wake up at 2 a.m. for the whole day. and I was like I went what I'm going to do is I'm going to stand on the stairs because it's dangerous I won't fall asleep and I'll be awake nearly fell down the stairs yeah of course because I fell asleep stood up on the stairs what time is this? 8 o 'clock I'll stand on the stairs because I won't fall asleep I'm still on the stairs oh it was horrible but yeah well happy to be back now two weeks is a long time missing the kids so it was difficult especially when you're ill but I think if I was ill it would have been a bit easier

41:26Josh Widdicombe:is it nice to hear like get back near like your daughter talking about josephine baker and stuff around the house and all that kind of stuff yeah i mean yeah because that's what i missed when i was away yeah just i haven't had a chat with my daughter about josephine baker for ages so we'll do that but yeah no back now and i'm back for a little bit little while we've got a nice holiday plan so it's plenty of time with the kids but yeah we were basically ringing at 7 45 uk time yeah when just before school and then that was my like 3 45 in the afternoon and that worked quite well and if anyone that is working away rather than doing it on zoom we did it on just audio and it was done on the school running the car so that then there was a definitive end point where they were going in for the day rather than getting a bit sad and down because i wasn't there you know because it's hard for them and then when i come in my daughter like i give a big hug and then i actually cry i could hear her crying in my ear i was like oh bless her anyway but yeah no all good um but yeah happy to be back and you know rescuing lou from another two weeks from of solo parenting.

42:23Oh, my God. Yeah, how was it for Lou? Oh, yeah. Well, she got a skip, which I think is an emotional support vehicle. Yeah. And it just loaded it full of crap. Oh, really? Yeah, had a bit of a clear out. She reorganised. We've got this little, like, cupboard, like the pantry, we call it. A little cupboard where we keep her, like, the beans and stuff. And it's an absolute pigsty mess. Lou reordered it. Honestly, I don't know if I'm middle-aged, but I nearly got an erection. It was so good.

42:49Josh Widdicombe:And she's built, like... Do you think she's had that building up through writing the book, through promoting the book, through selling the book, and now she's like, I can finally do the pantry. Yeah, she did. It looked great. And she's got these little levels. It's like seating. It's like rate seating for the baked beans. But we have got 25 cans of baked beans because Lou always puts it on the food order. But we couldn't see what we had before. Yeah, of course. We're new people. You'll work through them. Well, Mary Kondo. Mary Kondo. She's the... Marie Kondo. Mary Quant is the queen of shops and Marie Kondo is the tidy woman that's hard isn't it it's very similar things 50 minutes right see you later that was timing I love the way he squeezes out a chicken cough that was 50 minutes we both felt like we'd come to a natural end and Michael did you feel that Michael yeah oh he's a good idea yeah okay Rob Rob, now for a special part of the show.

43:50Josh Widdicombe:I'm very excited to bring you. Go on. I've named it myself. Pocket Money Memories. There we go. Bit of nostalgia. Little bit of nostalgia. We're going to look back to our childhoods, but specifically a little thing called pocket money. Up for that? And it's brought to you by Monzo, who have an award-winning kids' account. They do. They do. And they are the experts when it comes to kids' money. Go on then, Rob. What was your pocket money situation as a kid? Pocket money for me was a bit loose. Obviously, it wasn't a defined amount. But obviously, we'd get money at Christmas and birthdays and the odd money from grand.

44:23So I always felt like there was a little pot of money. It's bubbling along. I remember I always wanted money for holidays. So I'd save. And then I would get, like, pocket money for chores. If I cut the grass and wash it in cars. But I would save money for the football shirts.

44:36Josh Widdicombe:I got pocket money for my gran rather than my parents. Yeah. Weekly, she'd give me 10p for every year of my age. 70p when I was seven. 80p when I was eight. So I had my jar. Did you have a piggy bank? Why did you keep your money in? I used to keep it in my shoe. What? I used to put my money in a shoe, like my dad. Yeah. So I do think it's important to explain to children how to save money. Because the interest in his shoe wasn't that good. No, of course it was. What a great interest rate. No, of course not. I'd say that money was stagnating in that shoe. He'd have been much better doing the Monzo.

45:08Did you ever lose pocket money or waste it on something looking back? Was it a bad decision?

45:13Josh Widdicombe:I made some bad decisions. But I think you have to learn by them. Did you buy a boom box? No, I bought a Walkman that was rubbish, that only had fast forward. No play? No, I'm sorry, it had play.

45:29Josh Widdicombe:No. But you couldn't rewind. Say I played a song, and then I wanted to hear it again, I'd have to turn the tape over and fast forward the other way. To get back. To get back. That's stressful. Seven quid, that. So that's ten weeks pocket money if I was seven. That's a cheap Walkman, isn't it? He was a very cheap walkman. And that's a lot of saving. He was on 70p a week. I know, that's 10 weeks. That's the fifth of a year. That's not 10p, that's 100 weeks. No,£7. That's 70p. 10 weeks. I might start storing my money in a shoe. I'm not sure if banking's right for me. But it is for my kids with Monzo.

46:06Josh Widdicombe:Exactly. Well, that's the interesting thing, Rob. That's the interesting thing. I'm still trying to work that seven maths out. How does your experience of pocket money affect your experiences now as a parent with kids with pocket money? Well, I had an incredibly different upbringing to what my children are having. What about you? Well, I... Did your dad ever sit you... Mum or dad sit you down and talk you through banks? No. And I haven't really with my kids. But my daughter gets pocket money every week. And she saves it up and she buys stuff. Now we've got the difficult thing where my son's a different age to her.

46:39Josh Widdicombe:He's not old enough yet to have a savings situation. So we're kind of just buying him stuff that's equal value to what she... Do you know what I mean? Do we start him on her level? Or then he's on quite a lot of money for a five-year-old once he hits five. Do you know what I mean? It's like, what do you do? I think they should be earning pocket money, not receiving it for just existing. The thing is, Rob, looking back, learning to manage your money, learning what to do with your pocket money, they are important life lessons you learn at that stage. But now with Monzo, it is easier for parents to keep an eye on it.

47:12Josh Widdicombe:You can do so. You can track what they're spending. You can get notifications when they've spent. You can talk about them reaching spending limits. It's a much simpler time. Thanks to our good pals at Monzo. On three. Monzo. Didn't do three. That's how insane we are. And whether it was us back in the day of our pocket money or kids now, you can't be, as a kid, having some money, having your independence, and now having the opportunity to earn interest on that money. And also, having a cool coloured card, mate. Look at that. Look at that. I can't tell you how much I would like a debit card that colour.

47:48Josh Widdicombe:A little pink one. A little pink one. Two I've gone for. Yeah. One more of them, you're off, mate. Oh, that's nice. I've got a yellow card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. Monzo's award-winning kids account. Download your favourite bank. For children aged 6 to 15, interest paid monthly. You can have£10 ,000 maximum in savings per child. Parent or guardian account needed first. UK residents only. T's and C's apply. Do you want a small business shout out? Yeah, I've got one actually. Yeah. Hi, Rob and Josh. I'd love a small business shout out, please. My name is Emily. I used to be a TV producer and worked with both of you.

48:23Josh Widdicombe:Worked with both of you and it went so well that I moved out of London and completely changed careers.

48:30Josh Widdicombe:I've been a potter for many years and recently took the leap to follow my passion by opening my own pottery studio in Oxdon, O-X-T-O-N village on the Wirral called Seize the Clay we run relaxed, friendly pottery classes where people can learn wheel throwing and hand building we offer one-off taster sessions if you fancy having a go on the wheel as well as six-week courses where you learn the whole process from throwing and trimming to glazing your finished pots. We also offer studio memberships for people who want regular access to the space to practice and develop their pottery skills. This is very simply done, isn't it?

49:07Josh Widdicombe:This is a TV person who knows what to do. She knows what she's doing. She's getting to the point. You can find us at seestheclay.co.uk or Instagram at seestheclay underscore pottery studio. Thanks so much, Emily. There you go. Good luck, Emily. Good luck, Emily. Also, book in there. You might get some goths about what we were like. Oh, yeah. She'll be throwing a pot and telling you, you know, what the realities of television are really like. Oh, Josh is lovely. Everyone loves Josh. He's so lovely. What was Rob like? Oh, he's quite direct and a bit distant. Yeah, but that's why they love him. I'm easy, though.

49:41Josh Widdicombe:Could be more distant, ideally. I've moved to Liverpool. I'm not demanding, I'd say that. Yeah. Just all needed fresh bed sheets and I'm good to go. Exactly. Did it ever come back on you? What, the shit? I had a shower. It was clean the next day and it was never mentioned. Yeah, but I did, I'd give him a big old ringgit. Yeah, yeah. I gave him probably about 40 quid in ringgit. Yeah, yeah. And that's a lot of money there. Yeah. But he did have to roll up a bed sheet full of my shit. Yeah, fair enough. But I'd do that for 40 ringgit, wouldn't you? No, 40 pounds. Yeah, I'd do that. For 40 pounds, if I said to you, go in that room and bag, just pick up a thing and put it in that bag, would you do that?

50:20I'd travel to Bromley to do it, Rob. Fair enough. I'll see you on Thursday.

50:24Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. Saves a lure job. Do you want to do a small business? Hello. Getting in touch with a small business shout out. A huge thank you for an incredible podcast. I've listened since 2024 and I have a daughter and thank goodness I had the back catalogue to get me through the sleepless nights. I've teamed up with another set of parents who had their kids the same time as me. We were based in Chelmsford, Essex and realised whilst there are lots of events for mums and babies, lots are aimed at the babies or just cost a lot to meet other parents. that's where bring your own baby drag was born we host brunches in baby safe spaces with extra changing mat but with entertainment aimed at parents not just mums even our host queen equals jessic blaze is a parent to a little boy and twin girls and in the thick of potty training sleepless nights by parents for parents our first event sold out in 72 hours and we are building from strength to strength follow us on socials byob drag and our website byobdrag.co.uk That's Anna from Chelmsford.

51:23So this is a drag queen event, and you bring the kids to it. Oh, that's great fun. That's great. Because also, when they're baby babies, they can still be really rude and swear. It's not a problem. Love it. B-Y-O-B drag. Yes, please. Right. There we go. Josh, it's been a pleasure. It's been absolute joy.

51:41Josh Widdicombe:I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Tomorrow.

51:48This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, athletic brewing fits right in. With a full lineup of non-alcoholic beer styles, you can enjoy bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stock the fridge for tip-off with a variety of non-alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com. Your beer, fit for all times.

52:21Josh Widdicombe:Hello, Parenting Hell listeners. Recognize that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whittacombe here.

52:30Josh Widdicombe:I have got a new podcast, Josh Whittacombe's Museum of Pop Culture, and I'm going to say it, I'm about 85 % sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics. I know I do. And that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics.

53:07Josh Widdicombe:See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Milli Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I. Join me as I give the definitive or at least the funniest takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghostwatch convinced BBC viewers ghosts were real. When a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from U2. And David Hasselhoff, Baywatch and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to.

53:39Josh Widdicombe:Or you don't. And you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff necks will learn, loose necks will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Widdicombe. Available everywhere on the 1st of January.