S12 EP27: A Couple of Petrolheads

20:55Josh Widdicombe:Right, the guy was a prick. You wouldn't like a heated hat? You can't wear hats? I thought you don't like being hot. You love being heated. No, I don't like hot. No, I love being hot. That's why I fall asleep. Oh, so it makes you cosy. You know what I mean? And then you go to sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, why don't you make your hotel rooms really hot rather than fucking texting me at 11 going, oh, I can't sleep. Because I was really hot. I just couldn't sleep for love nor money. I hate being in a hotel room on my own. Do you want to know what I had in my Holiday Inn last night? You said in a Holiday Inn?

21:27Josh Widdicombe:Do you think it would be better if you had a nicer hotel? I don't know. I've tried it in every hotel room. Do you want to know what spread they put on in my Holiday Inn? Go on. Two Milky Ways and a packet of crisps. For free? Yeah. That's nice. I've actually just realised I've left them. That's a bit annoying. Okay. It's all so up and down with you, isn't it? Yeah. So she finds the car keys. Assuming they were his, as he had been the last person to come in, I went to return them. I knocked on the door and I could hear him and his colleague slagging me off. They didn't hear me. I proceeded to leave the building and hid the keys behind a plant pot at the entrance now I think if you where were the keys?

22:12Josh Widdicombe:they were because what she's done or he's done there is stolen car keys they were on the stairs so they were lost property yeah but I think if you put it back where they were but moving them and hiding them is a bit I love it is it theft? yeah and I love it okay I never knew the outcome but knowing that he would have been inconvenienced, well, obviously he's never going to find them. No, if you hit my heart, I'm not. You might as well flush them down. You might as well take his car. Yeah. Flush them down the toilet's lot. Well, they might not flush. Someone keyed my car once in a supermarket car park.

22:45Properly keyed it all the way along. It's only there for 20 minutes. That's so annoying. It's horrible, isn't it? What is wrong with people? They're angry at their lot. I was angry on the train into town today. Were you? I was on the 8 o 'clock train. and it was rammed, and people weren't going down the middle of the aisle. You know, it was standing remotely.

23:05Josh Widdicombe:You've got to push down, you've got to push down. And then I said, excuse me, please can you move down, because there's plenty of space there, and we're trying to get on. Oh, God, that's a gamble when you rob Beckett as well. It is a gamble when you rob Beckett, yeah. And do you know what? Fuck those guys. Did they move down? No. Did my bag get locked shut in the door? Like I was getting rammed on a busy train in Tokyo? Yes. Oh, God. Did I stand directly behind a man my height and my age, and did his arse bounce off my dick for 12 minutes. So that chilled you out a bit? Yeah, yeah. And there were negatives as well.

23:38Josh Widdicombe:Sorry, wait. Are you saying, can I correct this? Go on. Did his arse bounce off your dick or did your dick bounce off his arse? I got on the train and I was the last one on. If I was him, I'd be going. His dick's bouncing on my arse. His dick's bouncing on my arse. So in my defence, I am last on the train. so tight to the door that my bag's got stuck so I've had to yank that forward. So now I'm on and I've got my jumper zipped up and my coat zipped up. I'm immediately too hot. You would be asleep. So I've got my arm all bent up. I've got one arm trying to pull that jumper down, that one down, trying to get me to space.

24:17Josh Widdicombe:So your dick's touching his arse and you're undressing. I am now, so then both my shoulders are back against the door. And then as the train moves, he's falling into my penis. Right. So he is bouncing off. I'm not moving. Yeah. I'm the pole. He's the dancer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his arse was bouncing off my dick. And do you keep undressing? No. And I'm just like, what do I do? I can't even move my arms to cover myself. So I'm just taking it. Just taking it. Taking it like a commuter champ. I would say your description of the rush hour commute, it is wild commuting in rush hour in London. If that happened in any other situation, I'm just going to do that bouncing on me.

24:55Josh Widdicombe:When I used to commute to Dora the Explorer. Yeah. I'd get, so I'd have to get the overground to Victoria from Clapham Junction where I lived. Yeah. And then we'd get to the tube at Victoria and we'd be locked out of the tube. Yeah. Because I'm just stood waiting to even be allowed into the tube system. Yeah, like one in, one out, like a nightclub. At London Bridge. And that's before I've even swiped in. And then, you know, this was pre-Oyster. so I was using a piece of cardboard it's mental that you people would go on the 1st of January to the station to spend about 4 grand on a bit of card and then you'd go I have to keep this card and then also every Monday the queues for the machines to buy the weekly card was so extreme that I was getting up so early oh man it was and then I'd have to get another oh man I used to get a permit to travel.

25:56What you used to do, there's a button you could press, permit to travel, which meant the machine's not working and this permitted you to travel and then when you got to the end, you'd go to the counter and go, I've come from Chisler's or whatever, I need to pay for my fare because the machine won't work and here's my permit to travel. Then you'd pay, right?

26:12Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. And sometimes as well, like if I was going to buy, like what you could do is you could jump on the train. If you're buying a weekly pass, you could get to that little booth and go, look, I need to buy my weekly pass. I was late for the train. It's jumped on. I used to do it loads because I was running late let me do it anyway I tried to do it once and there was ticket guys there right and this was probably about 15 years ago so I would have been like 21 or something like that and the guy goes no you've got to get a fine I went no I'm going to go and buy a weekly pass I normally do it there they let me do it no you're getting fined you're getting fined I was like fine whatever okay name whatever address give it to him date of birth and I wrote it down 2nd of January 1986 and he goes is that the what date is that he went is that 36 or 86 I mean, what do you fucking think?

26:58Roll the dice, have a guess.

27:03Josh Widdicombe:Have I ever told you about the job I had checking whether advertising boards were on in the tube? Michael? No. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. We need a bell. We need a bell for a new anecdote. A new thing I don't know about yet. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. New anecdote alarm. new job alarm well I've run out of jobs now if we do this one right okay well that was the first alarm I might have another job that we can use the alarm for that you don't know I did so there was a brief period where I was short of money and I my friend had a job and he got me in on it where you'd whoever owns the advertising boards in the tube the moving screen ones the movie the screen ones rather than the paper ones right yeah the computer yeah yeah the TV monitor ones you'd be given a load of stations with maps and all the boards on and you'd have to travel around and tick or cross which was working and which wasn't working that's a mental job isn't it it's a wild job because they say like AI's going to take jobs away but they're like that job don't exist anymore quite rightly though also just for the good of the person they also they told me to put on a high vis I'm like there's no fucking way I'm putting on a high vis because no one's going down the escalators are high-vis on anyway it's not like you're walking at like against the elevator escalator and it looked bad enough that i was going up the escalator no offense josh yeah you don't need a high-vis you've got enough thanks mate there's enough of you know it looking careful yeah yeah your health and safety enough hard hat and jacket on you yeah people will go are you should you be out on your own no I'm just checking these is this a hobby someone comes up yeah he likes doing this he comes down I've told him it's a job it just keeps him busy yeah actually I never got paid look hob job call it what you want yeah exactly right should we do it over did we ever get to the end oh yeah yeah oh yeah so that's Lizzie in Leeds oh the customer service revenge parenting fails house party stories flying solo as a child what have we got here seeing other people on holiday I don't remember panicking in paradise seeing other people on holiday was when you bump into someone from your real life on holiday how awful it is well I tell you what should we do a seeing other people on holiday and in a panic panicking in paradise was when I kept on crying when I went to the mall because I was exhausted they've come in fast haven't they regulate hello Rob, Josh and Michael You recently talked about seeing people you know on holiday.

29:45One of our neighbours is a PA for a CEO of a company. She's married with a teenage daughter. Her boss always seems to be at her house. And when her husband is out at work, which had already grown our suspicions that something wasn't quite right. Oh, here we go. This is more like a ballroom shag of stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went to Wales for a weekend away. And halfway up a mountain, we spotted the neighbour and her boss. We said hello. They look startled. Oh, no. She bumbled away through an excuse saying they were on a team away day and the others weren't far behind. Oh, my God. We didn't see anyone else that day on the route.

30:21Later that evening, we bumped into them again in a nearby village having a romantic dinner. Once again, their excuse was the rest of the team had gone out to a nearby pub. And as the boss, he wanted to let them relax without him there. Do you know what? That's a good excuse. Yeah, but CEOs are normally serial killers, aren't they? Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, yeah, of course. To get to the high level of business you've got to be. There's a podcast about it.

30:46Diary of a CEO. Wake up. Thumbnails. Clip. Wake up. Make someone cry. Clip it up. That's my diary. It's not Diary of a CEO. They don't actually tell you what they do day to day. It's all big thinking, isn't it? No, exactly, yeah. I don't think I could do that podcast. Imagine it now. I mean, like that.

31:05Josh Widdicombe:Oh, God. It would be awful. If I... Hasn't Romesh done it? Yeah, but fucking hell. That doesn't matter it, Dave. He turned up to a court the other day and offered to do jury service just to fill a few days. I've got a job from in the tube. It was Judge Romesh. It was Judge Romesh. Anyway. While you're on the tube, Rom, you couldn't check those video screens, could you?

31:31Anyway, that is a good excuse, though. Cut a few months later, the neighbour felt pregnant.

31:34Josh Widdicombe:I think he's thought of that before. I think him and the PM, they've obviously gone they've obviously discussed it a lot and then they've gone if we're going out for dinner what are we going to say if we bump into them again yes there's a good excuse cut a few months later the neighbour fell pregnant which was amazing as her husband had been seconded to the Middle East on business oh no oh no one day the CEO turned up at her house with the mum's and papa's bag full of stuff panicking in paradise we can't help but wonder is he the father David from Lancashire One day the... what? He turned up with a load of mummers and pappas stuff, shopping bags.

32:14Oh, man. Do you want to panic in paradise? Yeah. Hello, Rob and Josh. Rob's story about sobbing through his first five days in the Maldives. Seeing it written down, mental. Yeah, it is bad. The cost. No, but I needed it. Tears aren't bad. You could sob in Bromley. Yeah, I know, but they wouldn't dry as quick. They wouldn't create a rainbow. they wouldn't drop in some crystal clear water on the top of a stingray or an eagle ray um anyway it took me back to our mallocan holiday in 2014 my husband and i were traveling with our 11 month old and four year old plus my challenging in quotation marks mother-in-law who had come along to help with the child care after a faulty shower caused a flood on the first day we were upgraded to a quiet area with a beautiful, serene, ground floor apartment overlooking the sea.

33:07The family kindly decided to go out and give me a break. I took a seat on the terrace, picked up a magazine for the first time in over a year, and promptly burst into tears. The sheer exhaustion and relief at being alone in the stunning location was just too overwhelming. Keep up the good work, sharing what you should really like to be a parent. Yes, Kaz! There we go. I like this. Cheers, Kaz. There's another one of those if you want to do that.

33:32Josh Widdicombe:Why not? Why not? Why not? Saves me looking at my phone. Trying to get my screen time down. How does this count a screen time? Yeah, I know. It's well out of order, isn't it? It's so annoying. And I have a podcast on. Sat Nav's the one that really gets me. If I have a video podcast on, or like a clip of TalkSport, something like that, on my phone, and I'm unloading the dishwasher, and I'm just listening to Dean Saunders. I do the lock screen. Oh, what, just to get the screen time down? Yeah. And does that get it down? Do you know what I did the other day? I was driving, and I thought, there's 10 miles to the next junction.

34:06Josh Widdicombe:I'm just going to turn my sat-nav off for a bit to chip into my screen time. Yeah, but if you know you're not actually looking at the screen, it's not bad, is it? No, but it's... I know. It's just like cheating your golf scores. I know, but that's the same one with talk sport. Yeah, but I don't care about my screen time. Well, I do. Why? Because every Monday... What is it? It tells me that I feel like a piece of shit. What is your screen time now? It was five and a half hours last week. Have a look now. What, for today? Just see. Mine is five hours, 23 minutes. Last week? Yeah. Oh, I had a good day yesterday.

34:43Josh Widdicombe:What was it last week? I've started using my brick again. Are you okay? No. You're not okay, are you? Have you been listening to this podcast the last six years? No. What's your screen time? so far this week it's three and a half hours oh that's good yeah it's working thank you Brick anyway Panicking in Paradise hello Rob's chat about Panicking in Paradise took me back to my own experience of freaking out in a similarly beautiful place my husband and I both turned 40 in spring 23 and decided that instead of presents we treat ourselves to a trip of a lifetime that's what you did yep Barbados is this Lou no it's not Lou this is a lady called Ruth in Bronze Grove they went to Barbados with our children that were eight and six.

35:26We waited excitedly for months, and with only three weeks to go, I found out I was very pregnant with a surprise third baby.

35:33Josh Widdicombe:Oh, there we go, the old PA to the boss. So my dreams of sunshine, beaches and turquoise seas changed dramatically into being permanently exhausted at eight weeks pregnant, throwing up, napping whenever I could, enjoying the ultimate torture, watching my husband casually demolish endless rum cocktails while I sipped water and tried not to cry. Oh, God. Fast forward to now, and we have Arlo, our cheeky wonderful two-year-old who has slotted in perfectly into our family. He's adored... Oh, this is all the fucking bollocks where she feels guilty for moaning. Here we go, I'll let you have it though.

36:02He's adored by our 11-year-old sister and nine-year-old brother and by us too. Even he did kind of ruin my holiday. Keep up the work, I'm a long-time minister and now loving watching you guys eagerly awaiting the live-action moment of Josh realising he's forgotten to update in a parking permit.

36:18Josh Widdicombe:Well, that doesn't apply anymore because it's in Exeter. No parking permits? No parking... We've got a drive. You've got a drive? I told you about the drive. It's amazing, isn't it? Yeah. And you're so much less stressed from it. Oh, my God. Do you know what I do sometimes, Rob? Yeah. It's so much easier to get stuff out of my car because... It's near your house. It's near my house. Yeah. Who knew? I mean, I would say that's the main selling point of the drive. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think most people have known that before having a drive. yeah I haven't really thought it through yeah I don't think people go I thought they're overrated but they're really good that's so good at it I you know I don't want to you know you're so it's good because I'm such a petrol head yeah you can get all your cars lined up when you get a double drive or just single drive what's that well try and work it out 1936 um a double drive so you can get two cars on there yeah yeah look at that I think you're gonna have one that doing up like a kit car that you're building and then you can have the car well that's what yeah i've got a garage for for when i'm you know under the old bonnet okay panic in paradise i'll have one more of these just a email to share my panicking in paradise story after rob discussed the recent crying episodes in the maldives back when my daughter was 17 months old we went to the saint lucia for an amazing two-week trip we had a family room on the ground floor one night i was woken in the early hours by a constant and very unusual noise at our patio door a sort of hard thumping sound oh we had this in we had one of those water villa things you know the hard thumping sound at the door well no it wasn't that but we had this banging in the night yeah and i was like what's that and um the next day when i was snorkeling i saw there was a bit of wood that had come apart and was banging on the other bit of wood with the waves and it was quite loud in the night in the day you didn't notice it but when it's all quiet so when i rung the hotel and it's a very nice hotel and someone in a nice hotel uniform was like don't worry mr beckett we'll get that sorted.

38:15Josh Widdicombe:Stop crying, it's not that bad. It's really, honestly. Stop crying, we'll fix it. He's like, no worries, sir. We were on it, let me assist you, we'll sort it all like that. Yeah, and then he walked off in his suit and then I saw a bloke looking around the corner, sort of around a bush, like that. And it was just some geezer and a pair of swimming trunks with some goggles and a bit of rope.

38:37So like this guy from the front desk had come and saw that and his geezer just jumped in and I went down and he just tied it up a bit, Rob.

38:47Josh Widdicombe:This episode is brought to you by Tesco Mobile. Now, we've all heard it takes a village to raise a child. Yes. These days, a lot of that village is found on your phone, isn't it, Rob? Absolutely. Some people say having your phone is so imperative because you can connect with your children, you can message them, you can track where they are. For me, you're out with your mates. It's been a long meal. Your kids are bored. Give them your phone. Let them go on roadblocks. All I'm saying is they're going to have a good hour. You're going to have a good hour. Do you know what I like, Rob? If I'm ground down by the tiredness of maybe an ill child or something, I just need to talk to someone who has been through it and understands what I've gone through.

39:26Josh Widdicombe:And while I'm lying there with my child going to sleep on the bed, I can't just phone my mate, but I can text them. I can put it in a WhatsApp group of dads and mums, and suddenly you feel less alone. Or you can listen to a podcast on your phone and maybe tune in to something like Parents in Hell with Rob Beckett. Yeah, exactly. exactly do you know what yeah or maybe you want tips right yeah we've all got friends whose children have been through the same stuff as us i've been constantly texting them to say oh this is happening give us some advice give me some advice because that is how a lot of our communication is done these days and it's incredibly useful to have that at the touch of a thumb whether you need a quick chat advice or just back up every parent out there knows having a network of family and friends just to call or text away is a lifesaver that's why tesco mobile is happy to be your second most important network tesco mobile it pays to be connected search why tesco mobile to find out more spring fest is happening now at lowes keep the spotlight on your yard with stay green premium two cubic foot mulch five bags for ten dollars plus when you want more help indoors get up to 40 % off select major appliances that help you supercharge your chores.

40:39Josh Widdicombe:Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Vela to 422 while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for details. Mold shopper excludes Alaskan and Hawaii.

40:53So they heard banging. My daughter was in a cot near the doors and my first assumption was someone was trying to break in. Needless to say my heart was pounding. I did try to wake my husband but he was dead to the world having lost a brutal battle to the all-inclusive cocktail menu the night before when the noise continued and changed from a thumping to scratching i then started to wonder if it was the results resident dog scratching at the door to come in some sort of yorkshire farm orst lucia result anyway in an effort not to wake the baby i wanted to shoo the dog away so i crept over and knelt on the floor right by the patio door like a woman in a low-budget horror film i gently this is so weird what's this got to do with this is panicking in paradise but i think she's just telling us about a horrible story it was more like emotion creeping up on your stories anyway she's on all fours looking for a patio door yeah i gently peeled the curtain up but couldn't see anything due to the pitch blackness outside i then tried shining my phone light but it just reflected back at me so in the end i opted to switch the terrace light on i mean i can't believe that weren't a first option yeah and to see what the dog was doing and hope to scare it away when i flicked on the exterior light and knelt back on the floor to lift the curtain again, inches away from my face, was an absolutely gigantic crab the size of a dinner plate.

42:07Oh, fuck that. Fuck that. Legs everywhere, pincers clicking, and its body pressed flat against the glass as it was trying to climb through the window and into my soul. Oh, my God. Obviously, I screamed, and unsurprisingly, the baby woke up after all, although the crab seemed unbothered and was still determined to enter.

42:23Josh Widdicombe:Oh, God. The next morning, we mentioned it to the staff, who casually explained that they were Caribbean king crabs, and they often wander from the beach at night. although I could have done with that information beforehand. Fuck. Adore the pod. Listening since the beginning. Keep being sex relatable. Rebecca in Cheltenham. I mean, great story but not really what we were after. But I enjoyed it. For her though, it's a very niche story to try and get into a podcast somehow and I think she's taken a good opportunity there. She's been waiting for crab stories for five years. Yeah, because I wanted to do some Caribbean King crab anecdotes and I didn't think there'd be a market for it but if anyone else has got crab stories, big crabs.

42:59Josh Widdicombe:Take that as you wish. I'll take that as you wish. Did I tell you I saw a big dog last week? What's that? I saw a big dog last week. Pardon?

43:10Josh Widdicombe:Are you on something? No, I'm laughing. You feel high. Have you had like... No, but I've been waiting to tell you about my big dog. God, what big dog do you see? There was a guy in a cafe. I said, can I take a photo? Because it was such a big dog. What breed? I don't know. But it was 47 kilos, right? Yeah. But it was a puppy. It was seven months old. Oh, my God. And he said it would go up to 95 kilos. That's heavier than me. I know. And I'm carrying timber. Imagine having me in your house. You've got to feed. It needs to carry bar, doesn't it? So send me a picture then. Well, it's more than...

43:44Josh Widdicombe:Can we show the camera? How's this going to work? Can you show it on the camera? No, because it's an invasion of the guy's privacy, really. No, it ain't. He's a fucking attention-seeking dickhead with a massive dog in a cafe going, oh, it's going to be 95 kilos. He loves it. He's boring. That's his whole personality. Well, we can't include the picture now. No, yeah, fair enough.

44:04Imagine. Well, let's see a picture of him. I can't see it. He's not come up. No, because I said I wasn't going to send you the... Yeah, but I want to see it. I can see it, can't I? Just the audience can't see it. Okay. Irish Wolfhounds are big dogs, aren't they? This is a puppy. Big dog. What's it called? You're not allowed to say, Invasion of the Dog's Privacy. I do think people that have either big dogs or aggressive dogs, that becomes your personality.

44:30Josh Widdicombe:I said, what's it like living in the shadow of your dog? It's a very underwhelming dog. Well, it's because it's a puppy. It's not that big. I would not look at that dog and go, that is a big dog. You would if... I should say that again. I saw a big puppy. Let me say that again. God, it's big, isn't it, for a puppy? Yeah, it's a big puppy, yeah. You've got to say that's a big puppy. At the moment, it's the same size of a big Labrador. Yeah, but it's a puppy. Yeah, I know, but then did you know it was a puppy immediately? No. No, so what do you say to him? Call that a big dog? I don't think that's a conversation start in dog size.

45:10Well, actually, I tell you... And I take it all back, because this guy's got a normal dog, and now you've made him look like a dickhead, and this isn't a personality dog. Do you know what he's got there? It was. A large dog. Everyone was talking about his dog. No one, no. It's only because there's a smaller dog near it.

45:22Josh Widdicombe:The reason he came up that he was a puppy is he was so fluffy. I said, how do you... I bet he washes hair a lot. He's so fluffy. Sorry, are you a lonely old nan sat in a bingo hall? What are these conversations you're having? I was killing time before. The dog is on you. Like, when the dog's on you, you can't ignore it. What should you mean the dog's on you? Like, I was in a small cafe and the dog was on you. He looks like a nice guy, actually. I'll take it all back. Yeah. I think you've over-egged the pudding on that dog. I'll find you a big dog. Google Irish Wolfhound. How much does it weigh?

45:54Well, it depends how much you feed in it. they go up to 90 kilograms well there you go this one's bigger hang on that dog's going to be 95 kilograms that's bollocks, no no males go over to over 100 kilograms yeah that is a big dog that's a big dog that's a big dog, Michael that's a big dog or a small man that's a big dog yeah tell you what isn't, that that's a big puppy it's a big puppy I just thought you were going to see a wolf found over 100 kilograms that one's over 6 foot tall well no you don't know how tall the man is he might be 4 foot he's 5 '11 I can tell people's heights immediately it's a little skill I've got what's that

46:33Josh Widdicombe:you're 5 foot 7 ok we're recording 3 interviews today yeah I want you to to guess each of their heights well when they come in yeah we are interviewing a lady am I allowed to guess her height no it's her weight I don't do her age age and weight it's a new thing on the podcast as I walk in age and weight age weight 48 82 kilograms what's that 37, 70 kilograms Okay, fair enough If that's what you want We've got through about three emails, Rob As always Let's do some small business Oh, I need a tea Here's small business, shout out I've got a dog I took it to a cafe It's not a dog, it's a puppy Here we go Both quickly scrolling Trying to find the shortest one Yeah That's a good tip If you're doing small business The tighter the email The more likely they are to be chosen Here we go Hi Rob and Josh I'm an OG listener I think that's one I'd found with three under six three under six your reality and normality has been a welcome regular sound in my chaotic house I'd love a small business shout out after being made redundant in 2024 I've now founded Luna the Dental Vets affordable fixed price expert dental care for dogs and cats we have a practice in Bristol and about to open one in Wokingham check us out www.luna.pet My husband works part-time in the police.

47:55They all bloody work part-time in the police, don't they? Oh, there we bloody go. And has been an absolute hero raising the rabble and now supporting my venture. Would love a shout-out to support our small business trying to make a change in the mostly corporate and ridiculously expensive vet world. Keep up the pod. It's now a public service and your duty. Louise, there you go, Luna Pet.

48:15Josh Widdicombe:Gobble, gobble, boys. Hoping to get the chance to get an SBS from you for my dog walking business, Walks With Mimi. I've recently decided that it was time to take the risk and do what I've always wanted to do and start up my new dog walking stroke pet drop in business based in North Dorset stroke South Somerset. I'm fully insured, DBS checked and trained in canine first aid up to 94 kilograms. I've always been the person who loves that, just in case you're worried if you haven't got the big dog, that's not true. I've always been the person who loves being around animals as much as possible and at the ripe old age of 24 I've realised life is too short even if your dog isn't oh no she didn't say that to constantly be let down and pushed around by employers he was really excited about telling me about that dog and I feel like I've shit all over it the puppy sorry I can't tell you how dominating it was in the cafe we've all taken a photo of the Grand Canyon and it doesn't do it justice I think that dog's a bit like Mike Tyson he's incredibly intimidating and powerful and big but not as big as he's actually quite small when you strip away the energy yeah yeah and what did that dog do to you then in that cafe well it was no nothing he didn't do anything specific did it touch you well I touched it but it came to you did it get on you it's like on a leash isn't it and it's like did it get on you well I stood up it didn't get on me but he didn't like try and put his paws on you and climb up find me on Instagram at walkswith.mimi Facebook walkswithmimi or email me walkswithmimi at yahoo.com I would love the opportunity to make this for my full time job all while giving your dogs the walks they deserve thanks for doing what you're doing from Maisie why did you ask me I thought we were going to say Mimi it does feel odd that she's called Mimi walks Maisie I'm still thinking about what happened to you in that cafe are they Harry Potter socks you what?

50:11Harry Potter songs they're Sherlock Holmes what

50:17Josh Widdicombe:I got them from the Sherlock Holmes gift shop to G1B Baker Street sometimes when I walk past it I go in because it calms me why do you like Sherlock Holmes so much oh he's the best let's put a pin in that I love Sherlock Holmes ding ding ding ding do you not know that no oh man let's talk next time that would be my Desert Island book let's talk next time about Sherlock Holmes we won't we'll forget he I tell you who wouldn't forget Sherlock the master detective is that what he calls himself that's what I call him he doesn't call himself that but people call him that sometimes I listen to it go to sleep really it's a Stephen Fry audiobook of all the books that's like 60 hours and you think why has he done that with his time you're the one listening yeah true cheers to Stephen right see you next week bye bye

51:19Josh Widdicombe:Hello, Parenting Hell listeners. Recognise that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whittacombe here.

51:27Josh Widdicombe:I have got a new podcast. Josh Whittacombe's Museum of Pop Culture. And I'm going to say it, I'm about 85 % sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now, you don't hate me. and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now, you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things, like history, economics, or politics. I know I do, and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics.

52:04Josh Widdicombe:See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realized Milli Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr. Blobby. When Ghostwatch convinced BBC viewers ghosts were real. When a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from U2. And David Hasselhoff, Baywatch, and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are, and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to, or you don't.

52:37Josh Widdicombe:and you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiff necks will learn, loose necks will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whittacombe. Available everywhere on the 1st of January.