S12 EP6: Harry Hill (The Return)

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1:32Hello, you're listening to Parent in Hell with...

1:35Josh Widdicombe:Una, say Rob Beckett. Rob Vida. Say Josh Widdicombe. Rob Vida. Say Gobble Gobble. Gobble Gobble. Well done. Cute, but didn't say any words. No, 21 months, almost two. Una, having a go at your name, she's our youngest of three girls, but the first time we've actually managed to send an attempt in. We've been listening from the very start and haven't missed an episode. All the best, Alex and Zane. That's got to be bollocks. They've never missed one episode. Yeah, because it's easy. Because you get these on a podcast. You're telling me she listens to all of Connor Ben. From zero to end. How are you, Josh?

2:21Josh Widdicombe:I'm good, actually. Excited about today's episode. We've just recorded it. Love Harry Hill. Love Harry Hill. Good one, wasn't it? yeah by the way that's from Alex and Zane in Whittam I've heard Rob mispronounce this in the past along with our neighbouring town Malden can I leave it in secret no I'm going to give a shit about the name of your town it's in Essex yeah did you go down the camera for that yeah for all your listeners you didn't see how aggressive I went then yeah that was quite that was quite aggressive I quite like being sort of faux like angry yeah yeah because I started off in comedy as being sort of like oh cheeky chappy I'm so happy I'm here.

2:58Oh, I don't even know what that is. Which is sort of true. Oh, thank you for the opportunity, Governor. Yeah, oh, thank you. Thank you for letting me on here. And now, do you know what my angle is? I'm going fucking nowhere. Yeah. I know you are. Yeah.

3:11Josh Widdicombe:I think that's a bit harsh. You might have plateaued a bit, but I think... I'd say, you know, slightly, you know, but like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Could I ask you a question? When did you drop finishing your sets with Be Lucky? I still say Be Lucky when I finish my sets. Yeah. you're implying that that was a sort of a misstep and I was probably cringing about that no not a misstep but I'm saying it fitted in with the old persona but not the new Ray Winston persona no but in my defence when I first started doing TV I was like 24 and I didn't know anything I'm 40 now I'm more aware of what's going on I've got more self worth now I'm more confident I know who I am and what I want maybe maybe he's just done that down the camera again

4:01I'm like an aggressive Frankie Howard yeah I'd say this was one of the not in a wanky way because Harry isn't like that at all the most name dropping star studded anecdotal episode we've ever done it is

4:14Josh Widdicombe:isn't it because very few people have worked with the toast of Hollywood yeah and also the other and also Chris Tarrant and Chris Tarrant but it was brilliant yeah brilliant great episode absolutely love Harry I loved his story about his kids when he said a moment that he really cherishes and makes him laugh and he remembers it yeah and I loved he got genuinely emotional at one point but not in a Stephen Bartlett way no but I think if we were that not Stephen Bartlett but that type of sort of serial killer podcaster we would have really jumped all over him and got the tears out on him someone would have been punching in on the edit because we're emotionally awkward men we actually just went cool, shall we move on and make some jokes about Adele?

4:55Yeah, I just don't want to make a man cry just because he's thinking happy thoughts about his daughter. Let him bowl on, put his big collar on, plug his show, get home.

5:03Josh Widdicombe:The Harry Hill Show is available now on podcast and here he is.

5:09Josh Widdicombe:When we got our cat cremated, our cat died and they gave us the form. I hope so. The food was costing us too much. And there was two levels of fee. one was ashes and the other was the ashes of your specific cat so some people who can't afford it just paying all the cats are going in and then you just get a bit of that generic cat just get some generic we had a dogs very sweet dogs my wife's dog originally and she had diabetes and so you had to give these you know insulin it's quite a responsibility yeah and we went on holiday and we were nervous about going on this so we left it with the breeder this lady that knew the dog really well and we went away we came back we went to go and pick the dog up and she said I'm afraid the dog died in what I phone you because they didn't want to spoil your holiday but your dog died and she handed us a receipt to go pick up the ashes from me and charges for the kenneling?

6:18Not the whole duration. Up to death. No. And was it a diabetes death? Was it hurtful for not being on top of them? We haven't had the results of the inquest yet.

6:34I don't think it's the vet equivalent of Quincy turning up right there. Or CSI or whatever it is. So Harry, how many kids have you got? And have you got a dog? well one at a time guys sorry what have you learned over the last four years last time i was here well it's the first time i've done it in person we did it on zoom before he was in your yeah i was listening to it on the way in because i was trying to remember what i

6:57Josh Widdicombe:talked about oh yeah oh yeah so you've got three children there's something you said that always sticks with oh i've got before you say anything i've got a message for you from my wife oh she said to me what are you doing i said oh i'm uh she said why are you in the outfit

7:13she said i thought that was over i said no there's still some are you tempted to drop the outfit though or is it will forever be the outfit because it's just easier in it it's easier to put it on is it anyway i said i'm doing that parenting healthy she said yeah i got a message for those two she said uh parenting hell she said uh any wife of a comedian will know who does the parenting it's not the comedians oh my word

7:39Josh Widdicombe:That comes from grim first-hand experience, doesn't it? I'll tell you what she'd like to buy. Lou Beckett's book called Lessons from a Default Parent. And she's written a book very much about that. About being the one that does all the parenting. And do you feel that's fair on you, Harry? The comedy widow. Yeah, absolutely. But do you feel like you've done more parenting now that you're older and the kids are older? Well, I've stopped parenting now. Oh, have you? Yeah. How old are your kids? I had a cut-off. I said you know stop parenting it I think it's 21 isn't it you come of age and you know you are really you know I think you have actually you've drawn an imaginary line and if they come home and go dad this is got a lot yeah well good for you my wife they because our kids live near near us yeah we see a lot of them yeah and she said oh she's coming around again tonight how old are they 28 27 and 21 this is what I remember vividly of the first one I don't know why it stuck with me was you saying that you weren't sure about having a third that's right yeah um but then it was the best decision you ever made oh why are thinking about no but there's something that stuck with me about that I tell you what it was it's very rare that you see into the soul of Harry Hill the person you know I mean it felt like a genuine moment of deep emotion from you yeah yeah well I mean it was a blur that because we had to you know we had the Irish twins thing the year between them and it was just like absolute absolute you know you had that double pram trying to get that into the you know on automatic door watching your wife trying to move that into the door you approach the door you know with the double pram you've got to sort of maneuver it in the door shuts or you've got to get it so was it sorry driver and passenger or front and back what the double pram is it front and back side by side side by side yeah side by side yeah side by side yeah the double decker came in i think after we...

9:48Yeah, but also it's unfair for the undercarriage child. Yeah. Just looking at the arse, like the back, it's not very nice. Can't see anything. No. The back of a pantomime and then there was, briefly, there's the buggy board. Remember the buggy board? We had a buggy board. That was fun. Oh, that was rubbish. But they don't really want to go on that after the first couple of runs. They want to go in the pram. Yeah. Yeah, because it stops being a laugh very quickly. Yeah, and it's obviously, it's much easier if they're in a pram. Yeah. But you do see, I think it's always funny, you see those kids you sort of wandering around blue water or something and uh there's like a great big kit yeah like a seven-year-old or something dummy and did you ever go to disney you see yeah there's so much walking you do get like 11 year olds in the pram still because they're so tired yeah so i went

10:31Josh Widdicombe:to your show at shepherd's bush oh yeah i briefly dropped into the after drinks but you didn't show i was there i know but i you went you ran off you mean yeah yeah yeah yeah so i remember coming You do wait long enough for him. I gave it 20 minutes. I was like, he's obviously giving some kind of producer a roasting backstage from Miss Q. Yeah. You get this thing where, you know, people come, friends come to see the show. And then the speed with which they find their way backstage is a bit of a wind up to me. You come off, you're drenched in sweat. You just want to breathe. Knock, knock, knock on the door.

11:05Yeah. Oh, hello.

11:07Josh Widdicombe:The reason I bring this up is your daughter was there. Yeah. and I thought what's it like they were all there all three of all three of them one was dressed as stufa one was dressed as Gary and one was dressed as the ice cream oh wow so they all took part in the show yeah they're the end they come on as the oh so and what's that like is that a very it's been brilliant yeah so they don't know they were not at such a loose end as that stage as well my wife she doesn't like coming to see the show let alone being in it she goes where you going so I've got Shabbos Bush tonight why aren't you in the alpha I changed into it when I get no because you know like I said before I always sort of discouraged and coming along the kids yeah and this time because they're older they came along and it was just great because they're because you can't see their face so yes you know Winnie's in the in the she's 27 she's in the stufer costume yeah she can see me but I can't see her face but somehow just by the way she's dancing I know it's her and I and I would always kind of forget because they would come maybe you know maybe the youngest did more maybe to about two weeks of it on and off and I paid I think I did say I was gonna pay them I didn't and then Freddie would come on as Gary so she's got the thing then Gary's head sticking out the tops you can't see it and she would come and she said and she said to me I'll come on and I'll maybe do a little dance with you okay so she comes on and of course they're her hands yeah get like Gary's hands and she just takes my hand and you just I just know actually really affecting so yeah and it's the first time I thought oh maybe you know be great if one of them did go into it but um none of them gone into performing no they're all funny but i mean yeah everyone's kids are funny i don't think we talked about this last time because i don't think i realized it but you've got hell of a kind of kid following through junior bake-off yes yeah well i had kids following me from you've been framed yeah yeah yeah and tv burp you know so it's funny on this last tour because I didn't tour regularly for a while yeah and I get these guys coming at 25 year olds and they're going Harry you're my you were my childhood can I hug you always yeah very like 25 late 20s maybe yeah and then you get these you know little little and sort of 10 year olds or whatever yeah yeah yeah because you did a podcast sort of aimed at younger kids now you've got a new podcast coming out that's still family friendly i love the way he's he's good isn't he's very good he did a great one the other day what was that one that was really good oh prince nazim hamed it's it's so easy for me i don't like doing it all the time

14:07well let me jump on that yeah i've got a new podcast are you gonna go down the barrel for this yeah straight down the buzzer is that my back barrel i've got a new podcast out it's called the Harry Hill show and we're video you know like everyone's videoing yeah and I basically TV show now baby you've got your control over it's basically cheap TV it's it's sort of repeating history so you know once upon a time there was radio yeah and then someone said oh we could film it and that was TV and now it's then it was podcast oh hey we could film it come on guys wake up

14:46and I mean we'll just fall in we all just fall in and do it oh you got a video yeah right we video it and because you were doing it from home before yeah real drag

14:57Josh Widdicombe:for you right I live in Devon now as well but actually the interviews a lot more fun we're loving the face-to-face interviews and then you say well he's come from exit wait you've only come from london to yeah yeah 20 minutes you was already here do you wear that suit from here then because you'll get way more attention wearing that to and from i couldn't wear on the tube no no that's what i could do i suppose no it'd be a bit yeah in fact i recently did this thing you know i've talked about it before don't perhaps not to you about uh this idea for a tv show i had okay yeah let me just finish this about the vodcast oh yeah do is that why you're calling it a vodcast i'm calling it a vod scarf because the podcast was a pod scarf because basically although you get you get some information to your brain you also get a sort of warm feeling around your neck and uh so there's elements of the previous pod scarf so i've got gary but he plays less of a role yeah you're right daddy didn't tell me that yes yes and I thought I told you to stay in the car and I've lent into the videoing of it a bit perhaps a bit too I think maybe I've lent into it too heavy I got sent a picture of your set by it's great Ed Gamble did it yeah I did it it looks great it does yeah it looks like a TV show from the 70s that has been sealed up for like 50 years and someone has unsealed it and yeah and that's always kind of been your yeah yeah look yeah I was really pleased when I saw it and it's just it's just a few bits of you know MDF and how have you got on it first one is Stuart Lee my old friend Stuart Lee and we play we have named the seed which is the quiz yep which I made the contraption for from a car aerial.

16:59You know one of those car aerials that goes connected to a battery underneath a wine box. You create... So do you create these things and then find a use for them? Or does it work? How does it work? I think I'm... I'll make a platform that rises up. What can I use that for? Or do you go, I need a platform that rises up? No, I thought I needed something to bring to life. But I didn't know if you had all these things. that you think, right, I need a joke for this now? Or how to use it? Tim Vine does that. I went around to Tim Vine's house. There's this one, I pick up this thing. It's a hat with all these great big wasps that he's had made attached to the hat.

17:39I said, oh, right. I said, what was the gag for that? He said, oh, I never came up with a gag for that.

17:46But he did. He said, the only time I ever wore it, he said, was that I did have a wasp's nest in the garden. And the guy from Rentico came around to get rid of it. and I answered the door wearing it.

18:01I'm quite good at seeds. I went on a holiday. Well, I'm trying to get you on the pod scarf. I will come on it. I couldn't do it. Now you know there's a seed game. Well, no, because I basically, I went on holiday and there was a buffet at breakfast and by the granola, all the seeds. Right, all the seeds. Sunflower, watermelon. Yeah, sesame. Chia. Yeah, well, these aren't edible seeds. These are perhaps, perhaps you wouldn't be quite so cocky if I was to put a purple radish seed in front of you. No one has successfully named the seed. So the format roughly is I do a bit at the top. We get the guest on.

18:39Then we get the theme of the week. We have an expert on. So for instance, we had John Cooper Clark on. Oh wow. It's a proper show, isn't it? It's not just two fucking idiots chatting. I've bitten off way more than I can chew. John Cooper Clark, and then we get the expert on, and the theme of the week is flies, right? So we get this expert on who is one of the world experts on flies, and she's got a jar of flies that she's taking to a meeting. John Cooper Clark basically remained pretty quiet all the way through this fly stuff. It's a good sort of 10, 15 minutes. And I said, oh, John, I said, you know, what do you know about flies?

19:16And he said, yeah, I never really became aware of flies until I saw that film. I said, what film? He said, The Fly.

19:30So, yeah. Yeah, he's great. He's great. Well, he hasn't got kids. You can get him. No.

19:39We're leaving today and entering a world of Mickey Mouse waving, princess meeting and greeting,

19:46Josh Widdicombe:lightsaber clashing, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror dropping, Banshee flying! Space Mountain launching! Galaxy rewinding! What the hell? Galaxy rewinding! Fireworks igniting! World of Other Worlds. For whatever you love. Infinite worlds await at the most magical place on Earth. Walt Disney World Resort. This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Break through the busiest time of year with the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus. Powered by Peloton IQ. With real-time guidance and endless ways to move, you can personalize your workouts and train with confidence, helping you reach your goals in less time.

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20:38Josh Widdicombe:But you've always been interested in popular culture and pop music. So when I did Alien Fun Capsule, we sang Shout Out to My Ex, which, incidentally, we had the writer of on earlier. Oh, really? Have you got all that through your kids? Like, has all your references, since I've watched you, have always been kind of quite contemporary? Well, I mean, the references, my references are, you know, from what was going on at the time, you know, and I used to like pop music. People think I've got some kind of insight to people's knowledge of music. I don't I just like I used to like what was in the charts you're not it's sort of unpopular you're not really supposed to say that are you but yeah but I used to like what was ever in the you know in the charts I like you know the oldest swinger in town or I like you know Lulu or take that or anything I could sing along to yeah and but then you lose that as you get older you think you'll always be interested in in what's out but you're not actually you can't you sort of at one point you just give up well I feel like your kids drag you back into it like I'm Taylor Swift Sabrina Carpenter I would never listen to them no no you know if i didn't have kids yeah it was the one um the vampire song i love that one olivia rodrigo yeah yeah yeah you chewed me up like a goddamn vampire yeah i don't think i've heard that one a very musical version i'm so messy that one oh lonely young yeah that's a good song there's some really good these three kids yeah actually with freddie she used to we'd go in the car i'd be driving her somewhere and she'd say let's learn a rap so she'd put a rap tune on that so I came I've seen you do this on Instagram I'd learned you know um 16 shots by Steflon Don and all you know all that you learned all of it pretty much yeah can you do it I'm not gonna do it now well anyway it feels very much like you can't say I know that's the rap give us a fucking clip he's 2026 now this one no guy can tell me about my mother 16 shot we go longer than a ladder.

22:38Him nothing talk about the real Don Dadda. Put body in a pot, him a burn like rubber. No girl can dis me or my mother. Round here ain't safe, everybody need armour. Sixty shots, we go longer than a ladder. Ra-cha, ra-cha, ra-cha, ra-cha, ra-cha-cha-cha-cha-ra.

22:53Josh Widdicombe:Oh, yes. Wow. And with your daughters, what's it like when they're in their 20s now? Are you like, at that stage where they're your mates or you still kind of feel like you're kind of an authority figure well they're your mates they're your mates you know they're they're good company yeah but then sometimes you want to just you want to then revert back oh so it's like mate don't you feel the sofa sorry yeah you know all right you know it's that which is sort of awkward because because for them i imagine you know they they you know you're sort of leading them along yeah we're doing this and then suddenly you're saying uh you know obviously See, we do this podcast, we chat about being parents and stuff like that, but I don't put my kids up on social media.

23:38Oh, never, no, no, terrible. Some people are just, it's everywhere. Exploitation. And it's not fair on the kids because they don't have a decision or a choice in the matter at seven or eight. And they say yes because it's very superficially very attractive. Yes. They worry, you know, further down the line.

23:53Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, before you know it, they're dancing around dressed as a giant blue cat on your stage. No, but some of them put on, like, Instagram, it'll be like, oh, thanks, at, like, a brand and, like, great bubble bath, and the kids are like in a bubble bath like thumbs up and hashtag ad I'm like oh who's doing the advert here the kid or the parent because then that money should be going to the child they're in the advert not the not the parents my attitude was always that I wasn't really a person you know I'm like a persona rather than yes yeah the more that people knew about me was you know sort of spoiled deal well that is completely changed in entertainment that kind of thing of where do audience now expect more of you as an individual than just turning up and doing the act.