S12 EP9: That's bad podcasting

22:36Josh Widdicombe:But do you feel naked and rude? I feel, well, I just feel tense enough at a corporate without thinking one tug on my trousers and I'm dick out in front of 500 builders. Well, that's what I did and they seem to like me.

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24:00Josh Widdicombe:So that's the last time I wear a pair of sun spells when doing gym. Have they sent you any free pants yet? No. The thing is, I don't think it's a great advert for them, is it? You know what? Their silence is deafening. You're not Mark Wahlberg in a pair of Calvins. You're wet gusset at the Builder Awards. Sometimes when I'm in London, I'll go in Sunspell and browse in the hope that they'll go, wait a minute. You're the reason we're still open. You're wet gusset. You're a wet gusset. Here he comes, old baggy wet gusset. I love your work on liver and onions.

24:41Josh Widdicombe:Oh, dear. Not ideal. No, also, I've just got to tell you this. We left a door closed and Beryl couldn't get out. Oh, what's she pissed on? Another mattress gone. So if a cat pisses on a mattress, is that game over for the mattress? How do you wash a mattress?

25:06Josh Widdicombe:We've done this with Puffer Jacket, haven't we? Well, at least that fits in a washing machine. How do you wash a mattress? Also, what annoys me about animals is just piss on the floor, like the wooden bit or the kitchen. Why are you getting on a mattress? They're not pissing on mattresses outside. Well, there's the opportunity now because there's going to be one out the back of our house next to a skip. Now, are they all right, though, Beryl and the cat kittens? They're getting on fine now. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it's all blown over. The cat ate some chocolate cake on Sunday. Okay. No, the kitten ate the chocolate cake.

25:42Josh Widdicombe:Do not Google that after the kitten's eating your chocolate cake. Is it bad news? Yeah. It basically says you've got a dead kitten on your hands. Okay. Not in so many words. So what did you do with the kitten? I was at the... Which one was this? Fluffball or Dean? Fluffball. I was at the... Dean.

26:06Josh Widdicombe:I was at the play date where I was being... The problem is, if I say Fluffborn Dean enough, your cats will just become Fluffborn Dean to the wider world. That's fine with me. I don't think Tilly cares. Or Dean. Rose phoned a friend who's a vet, who said, just absolutely pummel her with food to push it through and kind of mean that it's not on an empty stomach and you'll be fine. Oh, that's good. Pummel her with food. And that's vet advice. That's not the words, but yeah. All right. And just so you know, I would not advise that. I'm not passing that advice on. No, that's what you did in your Cats Alive.

26:41That's what you can say from your experience. I would say go to a vet. That's what I would say you should do. If you're pummeling a kitten with food, what are you giving it?

26:48Josh Widdicombe:Tuna with a little water? Well, the things, no, you know. Just normal food. Just normal food, yeah. Oh, right, no tree food. Strangely, Rose chose more chocolate cake, which I thought was insane. talking to Rose I've got some messages from her oh no stuff like what you're doing later Josh has gone out how dry is your gusset how dry is your gusset too dry for me I'll play these voice notes for fuck's sake what's going on so I'm finally catching up with the podcast and Josh mentioned on one that I'm the strongest in the household, but yeah, I shirk my responsibilities when it comes to deliveries.

27:40Just because I'm the strongest doesn't mean that I want to lift everything. And also, what about all the deliveries that he isn't there for while he's off on tour? You know, just have a minute to think about that. that just because i oh there's another one but go and carry on well no it doesn't mean you have

28:04Josh Widdicombe:you want to lift everything but it means you're the best skilled the best skilled at that job in the same way dare i say it that i do the maths homework okay now now what i'd say here That was a gamble, wasn't it? That is a huge tip for tat. Shots fired. Now you've opened, what you've done there is open an argument. My daughter does the maths homework, but I'm there with her. Yeah, I know, but what you've done there is you've gone, you could have taken a vow of silence and let Rose win there, but now you've started another battlefront on maths homework. No, actually. So now what you've basically told the whole world, Rose can't do maths.

28:44Josh Widdicombe:She would be perfectly public about that. She hasn't got a maths brain. She's not had the opportunity to choose, has she? Well, I've outed her as being bad at maths. Well, that's your words, not mine. I don't think she'd care. Okay. Well, we'll find out in about three to six months when she listens back. Depends whether she's got through all of the fucking rest of its histories, whether Alexander the Great's finished. He must be done by now, surely. He must be, surely. All right, okay, then one more. Oh, oh, and also, um thanks to you rob for um oh you know giving me and lou some credit where credit's due about kind of you know holding stuff together i was you know i was quite shocked when josh just immediately had to cut in with uh his story about the forklift truck rather than just you know maybe just having a moment for me but no you know it's good that we heard about his um forklift truck success so this is when I was saying how like much Rose and Lou have to do with like our tour diaries are mental and we're away so much we move on to my teabag story there was an opportunity I mean I said it here I put it on a plate for him to get some brownie points and you did not want it and then Rose said and then he made it about himself well it is you know crucially it is a podcast about us Rob again i'd say you've doubled down twice there incredibly defensive you you do this as well there's something about the voice note being delivered that means you can't accept it it goes into your soul doesn't it you just can't go okay fine there's no the moment that voice note comes you i've got to disagree with this.

30:34Josh Widdicombe:There's no way I can take this. It's so true, because I'm watching you going, Josh, you're sharp. Accept it. But if it was the other way around, I'd be... Not with the hair brushing thing. I straight went back in. No, you still won't go back. You still haven't. I know. There's something about the voice note. The voice note that makes you incredibly defensive. Well, imagine how they feel. They're essentially getting a two-hour voice note every week about our lives. Yeah, I know. And he still managed to make it about him. And she's still not listening to it. Well, she's just caught up. So she's on it.

31:07Yeah. Caught up? That fort lift truck was about two months ago. Right. Now you've got a third problem. So basically, she's shit at maths. No. She should be doing the lifting because it's not shirking. You're just the strongest one. She's not listening to enough podcasts for you. No, no, I don't mind her not listening.

31:23Josh Widdicombe:I'm not mind her not listening. Oh, dear. Anyway. I had a slight boobie, though. My eldest had a sewing machine lesson. Oh, yeah, we're doing sewing machine lessons. Yeah, and she was doing it with Faye, you know, and Izzy. Faye and Izzy. So Faye helps me get clothes for TV shows and stuff. Yeah. And then stylist. She's my stylist. Really? Yeah. Sorry, it's really hard to process that. Essentially, that's her job, though. If I do a TV show and I need 10 outfits, she gets the outfits, come and does fittings. Izzy does alterations, and she's, I don't know what the official title is for someone that's alterations.

31:57She's like, anyway, I don't know. anyway so they came and they were helping my eldest set up a sewing machine so i said to my youngest i'll take you swimming if you want and let the oldest have because our kids are so close in age they get on i think we do too much together yeah they need a bit of one-on-one time and stuff and also for the eldest she's learning there's the youngest it's like well let her just learn so that she can do her own thing and then later on we can teach the youngest but rather than them always doing everything because it gets very competitive one's better than the one will always be better than the other at things because that's life it's very rarely they're both exactly the same as stuff whether it's riding a bike scootering maths or whatever yeah so i was like when i give her a bit of space so she can do it without some people are better at other people than maths some people can lift some people can count yeah um and um so i took a swim in and then when i looked on the like the ring doorbell thing um fay and izzy both turned up with massive suitcases like oh god am i supposed to be doing a fitting for some tv stuff i was like oh i wasn't sure what turns out i was so i had to say to my youngest was like we can only go swimming for a little bit because i've got to get back but then when we get back i'm sure they're gonna i got them at the wrong end of the stick i was like oh they'll teach you how to use a sewing machine as well but there wasn't time to teach both they only we could only really teach one so i was like but i i'd got the wrong end of the stick so i sort of took a swim and dragged her home on false pretense and got back and then she had no time to do the sewing machine and then i just spent an hour doing my work getting ready for clothes and i felt so guilty she was just like i'm bored i'm so bored and i was like oh god where's lou at this point so lou's there as well but she's paying attention to the sewing machine because she needs to know how it all works so that we can set

33:38Josh Widdicombe:it up anyway um she loves it she's well into it how's your daughter getting on with it she loves it yeah out to pom-pom stitch tassel in bubby tracy great yeah you've did you've did that last week i'm i named them wrong oh you've got you've got the name wrong it's not called pom-pom stitch tassel it's called pom-stitch tassel pom-stitch tassel yeah that makes sense an overnight bag on saturday it's great it's really good i know this sounds mad but it's just making something out of nothing is just incredibly impressive isn't it and you can sort of what's the fun about it it's like they you get they can just start in 15 minutes she had a lesson yesterday in 15 minutes she was like oh i'm gonna make mum a pillow i made a little pillow out of that with stuff it's great yeah i'm just gonna start taking my trousers up and stuff have you got short legs well no but if you buy stuff it doesn't fit right you can get all to take up every pair of trousers i've never not really a pair of trousers yeah really yeah you just can't find trousers really well you josh willicom has to take trousers up shop all trousers don't fit all i'm saying is really that period when people like the fashion of the boot cut dragging along the floor really was my zenith that was a period when i was coming back that flared out the end is coming back i'm not doing it you're just straight leg yeah i'm straight legging a jean yeah okay fair enough yeah why not I know that's fine yeah me too I'm straight licking a jean I'm just saying I did wear a pair of trousers that flared out slightly on Graham Norton the other day did you yeah only subtly we notice it more because you're used to skinny jeans I've got a baggy my chinos are baggy Rob sorry what do you mean what your chinos are baggy what than your than my jeans I don't know if that's a full sentence what my chinos are baggy than my jeans we'll talk about my trousers My chinos are baggier.

35:33Josh Widdicombe:Oh, okay, fine. Is this bad for podcasting? Pop this in the trailer, Michael.

35:43I want to talk more about my negativity, Josh, in January. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is quite good now. Have you? No, I'm fully aware of it. But the thing is as well. It's fed itself. No, I know. But it can't do, it can't just come every year. Yeah, no. Have you got SAD? I think it's the darkness. I think it's something to do with that. There must be. It can't be. It must be something to do with that because it can't just be for no reason whatsoever. There's no reason for it this time of year apart from the weather and the darkness.

36:15Josh Widdicombe:No, yeah. You could definitely have SAD. And Christmas carries you through because Christmas carries everyone through because Christmas makes it cozy. And I had two weeks in the sun. You know, I've had a very, like, I've started the year in good spirits. Work's been fine. I've enjoyed all the gigs I've done. About doing like a new project. That's what I'd always find enthuses me in January. Oh no, I hate new projects. Yeah, you do, don't you? I just think, oh God, my anxiety will come up because I don't know what I'm doing. Once I'm into something, I'm more relaxed with it. Because that's what I do is every January, I'm like, great, fresh year.

36:49Josh Widdicombe:I'm doing this, this, this. Yeah, you're great in January. January, it's not my month. I prefer January to say July oh you're mad well I think I might re-evaluate my relationship with the heat now we've left London I think you need to be more comfortable and confident wearing shorts day to day in summer outside I wear shorts day to day in winter I don't allow wearing shorts to a meeting that's what I'm saying I think you've just got to embrace it in June July when you're going to town you're a creative you're a media guy put a pair of shorts on and just shuffle in you're in exit now you're a devon dude oh god no it's just come up from bloody devon of course he's got shorts on surfboard under the arm no but like so this is but this is how unhinged it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy josh because i've got loads of things in place i've been doing loads of exercise i've been eating i've had this but i've been eating day to day healthily and stuff i've not i'm not drinking so it's not like i'm so um i get really negative thoughts and spirals so like to the point where it makes me laugh actually when i came out i went to the i went to the chiropractor the other day to sort my back out i came out and i saw a little dog and i was already going you've got to do this you've got to get that train you've got to do this i find my brain's 100 miles an hour and i saw this little dog and i went and you didn't even get a little dog you stupid you what i know i was like what this is what my brain said in my head what's going on and i was like because you know one of our whippets is slightly bigger that is massive compared to a normal whippet so now my brain is trying to find any little thing to the point where it's picking on me for a dog that's slightly bigger than a dog should be but actually i do like the whippets because little dogs annoy me because i trip over them but my brain is but the dog earlier that morning jumped up on the kid so that it's it's clingy i'm like this is mental and yeah and and what i've worked out to do is i work feast or famine where i work loads of loads and loads and then i've loads of time off yeah but it becomes very intense so i think what i've got to try and do is well both of those are intense exactly because then it's like you must enjoy yourself because you've got time off you find yourself crying in the maldives exactly so this is my so what i've got to try and do is i had a bit of an epiphany about this where what i've got to try and do i i thought this cut this is not normal this is so mental so what i've realized is the dog it was small so about the size of the dog in the fight it's about the epiphany and the delight so i was thinking right what i could do is not work so intensely bring that down a bit but and then also not have to have massive breaks because i'm about to burst and i currently play my life let's say i live my life like i'm playing a game of football yeah like i'm just a defender entering it away when the ball comes up get it away get that done yeah get that done meeting gig swimming with the kids get that done get that done and it's too much but what i've got to do is check it down find the space take it on the chest put my foot on the ball look for the pass and in each moment that i feel like i'm stressed i want to order it i've got to go no no no your pillow it's the world cup it is high pressure but don't worry take it on the chest put your foot on the ball look for a pass and then i'll be able to enjoy each moment as opposed to just getting it away getting it away so that's my new approach okay have i got mental does that make sense that's a good approach but i think you need to also practically try and stop this feast or famine thing because i think it's a problem because it means that when you're in the famine oh i can't work out which when you're in the work you just want to be out of the work let's not call my work a famine no no i meant that famine was the um yeah yeah you've got too much feast is too much so there's too much work and then there's no more work either way okay yeah either way yeah when you're in the work you're wishing it away yes you haven't got a good work-life balance because you're basically like someone who works on a rig who goes and just lives on a rig and then comes off but that means you're not experiencing that and then it means that it's better to balance it over the year really yeah yeah definitely that's a very difficult thing to do i understand in our job but it's difficult isn't it because like i don't know it feels very difficult because you have to take things right yeah so but anyway that's my new approach and it's um that's i'm gonna that's the plan so that i can enjoy the things i'm doing rather than trying to get to the end of it because then you know if it came of football you want to enjoy it and make the passes score the goals you don't just want to keep booting out on the other end so you don't concede do you know i mean no exactly and i think me and you have a very different relationship with our work we both love it in a different way so i love the stand i love being on stage doing live stand-up shows more than anything you said you don't you're not like thrilled by the excitement of a new project do you know what i mean whereas that's that's what i really enjoy do you know what i mean so I find this very relaxing what we're doing now me too I enjoy this and I enjoy stand-up I don't enjoy the travel what I mean is um you like to do stand-up or you like to do the things you do and you you'd happily just do stand-up right probably whereas for some reason I'm always like what's the new what's the new what's the next thing I can do and that's what I get the excitement off and that you're getting a buzz off sounds equally dangerous I if you said to me this year you're doing parenting hell last leg and stand-up right yeah I'd go I've got to do something else I can't just do those because I've done them already do you know what I mean really yeah so I'm always trying to come up with new things to do because otherwise I feel quite stale yeah but I think you can you can create new things within the thing you're doing yeah totally but that's just how I feel do you know what I mean I feel like I I want to be doing new things to test myself I don't it's not to be fair though I get that in I get that outlet in Rob and Romesh because each year I'm doing something mental and new and different in each episode yeah where certain those things you've listed there with like last leg and this is fairly you know it's only ever going to be me and you chatting it's only going to be you Alex and Adam on the show where I'm fucking skiing with Eddie the Eagle.

43:16Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. But also, it's just different people. I think I do too much new things. Do you? No, shit. I was rapping in New York. I was skiing with Eddie. No, but that's just Rob and Romesh. But I guess... No, but it still takes up a week. No, no, no. But that's the job. You can't not do new things on Rob and Romesh. No, that's what I'm saying. But I said I have enough new in my year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally. I have massive new challenges every week on that show where after you do six of them, you're like, fucking hell. I did Shakespeare at the Globe last year. If you didn't do Robin Romesh, do you think you'd be going, okay, what should I do new?

43:56Yeah, I think there'd be more hunger for different challenges and different ideas, but I find having to learn Shakespeare and do the Globe, be in a Bollywood film, skiing, that for me that scratches that itch of like yeah yeah i've challenged myself this year

44:14Josh Widdicombe:i don't even know if it's challenged it's just a really weird thing it's just a i think it's that in this job you just get really you can't believe you get to do all these things so you do them right you're it's it's like the thing you wanted to do you get to do so why wouldn't you do them i don't think i ever wanted to go skiing with eddie the eagle it was a great day don't get me No, but you did want to, no, but you're not going skiing with Eddie the Eagle. You're making a TV show. So I love going abroad to do stand-up, like flying somewhere to go and do your show in another country, for me is the most ultimate buzz.

44:47I can't believe I sell tickets in the UK, never mind being able to go to like Australia or Ireland or Dubai. Whereas for me, I can't believe it. I love it. It doesn't even register.

45:00Josh Widdicombe:How are we mates? But that's why it works, right? Everyone's really different. Like, I just couldn't. I just, it just doesn't, like, I'm happy to go and do my show and I'll enjoy it. But I really enjoy doing my tours. Like, that's really fun. But if you said to me, you can never gig abroad again, I'd go, sorry? If I could teleport, if I could only do one job, if I could teleport, I'd pick, stand up and do it every day for about 40 minutes. If I could only do one job, I'd go insane.

45:35as opposed to this calm, placid man I've seen before me with his sweaty gusset, his decaf, his fasting, his no alcohol.

45:44Josh Widdicombe:I know, because I have to... But these are the things I'm doing to keep myself on the level of sane, Rob. It's tax season, and at LifeLock, we know you're tired of numbers. But here's a big one you need to hear. Billions. That's the amount of money in refunds the IRS has flagged for possible identity fraud. Now here's another big number, 100 million. That's how many data points LifeLock monitors every second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it guaranteed. One last big number, save up to 40 % your first year. Visit LifeLock.com slash podcast for the threats you can't control. Terms apply.

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46:53what do you think josh winnicum carried on at the guardian and became a well-respected journalist but all you did was interview celebs and write an article twice a week i'd fucking hate

47:04Josh Widdicombe:it i have to be doing new stuff it's like it's like it doesn't suit your personality almost so you imagine people imagine you as a home of a tea and being cozy but you're the one who's really be like let's do this you know but yeah i've just got to oh my god i haven't even told you about the disaster i had at the radio to drinks all right tell us this and then we'll um we'll wrap up for this week we'll do a quick small business because that made me think so i'm covering for lisa tarbuck on saturday and i was like i've got to do that because that's my favorite radio show ever i've got to do this again i've got to test myself it's not even test myself i don't know what it is Is it like I've got a Met office in the city of Exeter?

47:46I should say that. Do you need a weather person? There must be some sort of BBC thing where they need some coverage in Devon and you could do it from Devon rather than coming into London.

47:56Josh Widdicombe:They need to do the regions. They need to do the regions. That's what I'm saying. Anyway. You could be a Devon guy. I could be a Devon guy. Well, maybe they'll do Radio 2 in the park from the park near me. I doubt it. Anyway, I went to the Radio 2 presenters drinks on Tuesday night. Do people know what this is? They meet up every few months? Yearly. Is it once a year? There's an annual. It's like the staff party, right? Yeah. Every January they all meet up for a drink in town. Every January they all meet up for a drink in town. I was doing Parenting Hell in the day. Perfect. Went for dinner with Joel Domit.

48:34Josh Widdicombe:Right. Lovely evening. Then I was like, go to that. It starts at 7. My train is at 9.04. This is fine. I'll be there till 8.15. See everyone. Go. Absolutely perfect. Get there. Nail it. So then I'm like, right, better hit the road. At that point, the speech by the control of Radio 2, Helen Thomas, begins. Yes, the big boss. Yeah. And that's the main reason for the meetup, really. I didn't know. I didn't know. Oh, yeah. So what they do is it's almost like a drinks me up, and then she presents what's the plan for the year, what happened last year, and it's quite an important part of the evening.

49:17Josh Widdicombe:And I tell you where she stands. There's a bar area. Yeah. And then there's, with everyone in it, and then there's a kind of doorway with her stood in it. You're such a sitcom character in real life. It was mental. And then there's an exit behind her. Yeah. And I'm like, this can't be fucking happening. What time does she start? 20 past eight. So you're already five minutes late? My train's at 9.04. You've missed that train. It's the penultimate train. The last train would get into Exeter at 3.30am. So I'm not going. No, really? What time does it leave London? I think it must be the sleeper. I think it must be like the sleeper that you can get off at Exeter.

50:01Josh Widdicombe:She starts in the speech. I swear you're doing more work in London than you did when you lived in London. No, because you don't notice it. I was with you. Yeah, I was only up for a day with you. I was up in the morning, back on the 904. Up in the morning, back in the next morning. Yeah, exactly. Up on the 904, back on the 3.30am. She's knocking through the stats, Rob. Biggest single radio station in the UK. Tony Blackburn's Sounds of the 60s is the biggest music show on BBC Sounds. romesh is the biggest show at weekends on radio etc yes so many cue cards rob and i'm the only one thinking i can see i'm you know this is these are good stats this is a successful place don't get me wrong but i can see how many cue cards there are and then it's like i'm like well there can't be many more stats and then it's like these are the plans for next year oh so you know it's another a whole session of next year, not just last year.

51:01Josh Widdicombe:Month by month as well. So you can really... Yeah. January was two minutes. So is it all going to be two minutes? I'm thinking, surely it'll peter out because they won't have the plans for the full year. They've got the plans for the first six months, hopefully. But no, Rob, there's plans for Christmas. Do you know what I mean? There's full plans. And then what's that setting up behind her while she's doing this talk? It's the fucking presenter's photo. You've got to be kidding me.

51:35Josh Widdicombe:The presenter's photo that you're not actually in. The presenter's photo that I'm fucking blocked out by Michael Ball. Michael Ball's hair. So I'm stood at the back of that presenter's photo. Also, it looks like, because all you can see is your glasses and your hair. It looks like Michael Ball's put his glasses on the top of his head. And there's just his glasses and more hair. But it's your head. It's my head. So I stayed for that. Why did you creep up behind Michael Ball and stand there then? Because I was at the back because I had my suitcase with me. Yeah, but you can't take Ball from behind like that.

52:05You can't. He's too big. He's much taller than you. I love Michael Ball. You've got to get right in front of Ball. Well, you should have bent over in front of Michael Ball.

52:13Josh Widdicombe:I was.

52:19Josh Widdicombe:I was. Ball to Ball. I was Ball to Ball. I was behind Ball. Sweaty Gus it? Was that a different day? No, it was a different day. Sweaty Gus it wasn't there. I swear he goes it's on one extra but Michael Ball I thought I could see the camera because you know the rule if you can see the camera if you can't see the camera the camera can't see you I could see the camera because my eyes could see the camera but my nose and my mouth couldn't see the camera but how am I to know so I stayed for the photo as well because this is who I am Rob you would have walked straight out during the speech, wouldn't you?

52:57Josh Widdicombe:I made a lovely joke and everyone would have loved you for it. Meanwhile, I'm stood there. I was sweaty. I did have a sweaty gusset. I was dripping sweat during the speech. So what time is this? What time is the phone? Why is Josh sweating during the stats speech? I left at, it was across the road from Kings Cross Station. I left at 20, no, 18 minutes to nine. Oh, okay. and he's caught five, what time is the train? Four minutes past nine. Oh my God. I did something. I was, I was ashamed of this. I ran across Rob, you know, the cab rank outside Kings Cross station. Yeah. Jumped the queue. I said, I'm begging you.

53:41Josh Widdicombe:I've got to get to Paddington for a last week. Here he comes. No buffer bill. Begging you to the queue. Please let me just jump the queue. No buffer bacon. On his own without liver. So you begged, you begged the queue. I begged the queue that I could go first and they let me through. Because I was running, holding a wheelie suitcase. It must have looked like I was panicked. It wasn't a trick. No one does that. Yeah, I don't think you could act. You can't act as well as you can panic. I can't act. And so I got in the taxi and I made it. I did make it just in time. Oh, that is stressful. I didn't think you'd make to Pannington from King's Cross.

54:21It's 10 minutes in a cab. Oh, right. That is a stressful watch of a presentation, isn't it?

54:29Josh Widdicombe:And I felt awful. Because people were joining in and heckling in a fun way. And I was like, fucking hell. Oh, doing banter as I watched the presentation. Yeah. Tony Blackburn's having a round of applause. Fucking hell, that's another 10 seconds gone.

54:48so so she's like then we've got then we've got radio four in the park in september and vernon's

54:55Josh Widdicombe:like where is it gonna be and she's like i can't tell you and i'm like shut up vernon i need to go i haven't got time for banter yeah but for them they're not trying to get the 904 from They're not, Rob, because they're not insane.

55:20Josh Widdicombe:Right. Small business. What would you have done in that situation? I think I would have done what you did if I knew that it was only 10 minutes. But it's difficult because I don't, you know, I've never, I would have just suffered it and then just got a cab home. But you can't do that. you know i mean it's hard to know when you don't live that far away because it is if you miss that you walked through the speech i might have gone i would have waited to when it got to jane went i go uh i said sorry everyone my train's at nine love you lots have a brilliant year i'll see you next year blah blah blah and just sort of waves and then maybe done a joke about vernon make sure you find out where it where the party is in the park and then they'll all go oh yeah where's it gonna be or i'll say something like um if you or as a way out i go i've got to get my train to I'm so sorry.

56:06However, if you don't need to stop the next time, Helen, you know where to put Radio 2 in the park. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Something like that. Or whatever.

56:13Josh Widdicombe:Oh, fucking hell. Where were you? Hello, all. I'm a single mum to an 18-month-old little boy. I listen to your podcast while I'm driving around all day, picking up dogs in my van. Hopefully she's a dog walker, not a thief. To help support me and my boy, I was hoping you'd consider giving me a small business shout-out, as it could really help boost my visibility in what is now a crowded market. Here we go. I run a dog walking daycare and home boarding business in Dronfield,

56:44Derbyshire, called Lizzie Leeds Dog Walking Dronfield. We are fully licensed with the local council and insured and taken on new clients in the area. Thank you so much. Loving the podcast. Keep it sexy and relatable. Lizzie Russell, 385 months. Great. She's going to be no other information for Lizzie's. You do the next one. I'll find out. where you can get in touch with Lizzie Leeds. She's got a text for Rose. Oh, yeah.

57:08Josh Widdicombe:Saying she wants to go and see Tom Allen in Titanic. In Titanic. Here we go. So Lizzie Leeds Dog... Yeah, so there's a website. So just... It's a long website. I can see why she's not. Just Lizzie Leeds Dog Walking Drumfield. It's on Facebook and it's a website as well. Get in touch. Dear Rob, Josh, Michael, thanks for the pod. We love it in our house and have been listening since COVID when my wife was pregnant with our son, Rufus. My wife also loves the pod and so be excited to hear. Hello. A small business shout out. Is it you for a small business? London speech therapy doesn't sound very small.

57:46Josh Widdicombe:They provide invaluable support to children through working in schools and working privately with families across London. They also work with adults who have stammers, voice issues, speech sound difficulties or language and communication differences due to their neurodivergence. They see clients face-to-face and also online if anyone isn't based in London. Perish the thought. My wife, Emily, and her friend, stroke business partner, May Reid, have been working tirelessly to make this business success and would really appreciate the shout-out. Thanks, Charlie and Emily, Rufus, and Bryony. Lovely.

58:18Josh Widdicombe:We'll be back on Friday with a guest. See you then, mate. Bye. Bye.

58:27This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in. With a full lineup of non-alcoholic beer styles, you can enjoy bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stock the fridge for tip-off with a variety of non-alcoholic craft styles available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com. Your beer, fit for all times.

59:01Josh Widdicombe:Hello Parenting Hell listeners, recognise that voice? Yes, it's Josh Whittacombe here.

59:09Josh Widdicombe:I have got a new podcast, Josh Whittacombe's Museum of Pop Culture, and I'm going to say it, I'm about 85 % sure you're going to love it. Here are the reasons why. Number one, I'm confident if you're listening now you don't hate me and possibly think I'm funny. Number two, I'm confident if you're listening now you like podcasts. Number three, I'm confident if you're listening to me and Rob, you prefer pop culture to people talking about things, let's be honest, boring things like history, economics or politics. I know I do and that is why I made this podcast. I wanted a show that tells the stories I love from popular culture in the way other podcasts do for drier topics.

59:46Josh Widdicombe:See above. Basically, I wanted a podcast that realised Milli Vanilli were more interesting than Elizabeth I. Join me as I give the definitive, or at least the funniest, takes on Mr Blobby. When Ghostwatch convinced BBC viewers ghosts were real. When a band burned a million pounds for a laugh. The Spice Girls, a truly catastrophic Spider-Man musical with music from U2. And David Hasselhoff, Baywatch and his part in the fall of the Berlin Wall. All of them are real, by the way. Either you know what these things are and you're about to learn far more about them than you ever realised you wanted to.

1:00:18Josh Widdicombe:Or you don't. And you're about to be introduced to some of the maddest things in modern or ancient history. Stiffnecks will learn. Loosnecks will laugh. New episodes available every Wednesday and Saturday. Perfect to fill those gaps between your weekly doses of parenting hell. So go on, you might as well listen, subscribe and follow wherever you get your podcasts now. Museum of Pop Culture with me, Josh Whittacombe. Available everywhere on the 1st of January.