S13 EP17: Your dog is skinny, but you is fat...

30:58Josh Widdicombe:Lovely night. fun time had by all yeah felt like um it felt a bit like pre-kids we don't do those things i don't really like those things no i never go to stuff like that i when i walked in i thought this is my living hell it was all right though once we were in yeah once i found my seat but i just hate walking into a room of people i don't know yeah you're like a nan at a christening i don't know what it is because it's not like there's someone i don't want to bump into it's like i don't like to walk into a big setting and suddenly you don't know who you're going to be talking to yeah and i think that's weirdly even though you're a comedian you have control over being the person on stage where we're in the audience you're sort of just floating around chatting and you did yeah you got really clammy and a bit no i've never seen you like that before but you don't love it do you well toby tarrant does that to me

31:54but yeah that was good good night what else was there to there's other things i want to talk to you about i can't remember um was there anything else you want to say about there well i'll talk

32:03Josh Widdicombe:you through my parenting weekend rob i'll go on yeah i'll do mine as well went to a party at the bowling alley they've refurbed the bowling alley in exeter rob oh really what is it temping now Now I've got an escape. Do you know where it's gone from? 22 to 25 lanes. How have they done that? I don't know. I was speaking to the owner who was like, we've got 25 lanes now. I was thinking, fair play. I've never been in there. I've only been in there a couple of times. I've never thought, do you know what? All 22 lanes are taken here. They need a few more. But fair play. They've got an escape room. They've got laser tag.

32:43Josh Widdicombe:They've got soft play. Someone has thrown a lot of money at the exit of bowling alley. And fair play. So what's it called? What's the venue called? 10 pin or something. I don't know. So is it like in the shopping centre? Is it a big standalone unit? It's down by the river in a building. Is that helpful? Yep. Next to a new paddle place that Slazinger have built. Oh. You're not going to play paddle, are you? No. Oh, but do you know what? Do you know what I've done, Rob? Go on. I've joined Dad's Football WhatsApp Group. To chat about it or to play? To play. Yes. Here we go. I've not been able to play since it started up again because of my shoulder, actually, by procedure.

33:28Oh, have you? Yeah, yeah, of course. I had to have two weeks off sport, actually, and it's driven Lou fucking mad because I've got so much energy.

33:35Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. So what are you going to do when you back off the injury list? Back tomorrow. Back tomorrow. Well, basically. surely you could go for a run well to be honest it's right on a weird bit of my shoulder that moves a lot and i don't want it to it's it won't hurt but the the i don't want the cut to split and make the scar worse so i could i'm gonna go for a run today but it's been two weeks now you could sit normally on a on an exercise bike and just cycle with your legs yeah maybe like that but to be fair i've just been going on long walks oh nice nice yeah so i've got a bit of exercise So are you going to play?

34:07When is the game?

34:09Josh Widdicombe:Yeah, but I'm off injured at the moment because I'm not very well. Oh, because of your arse and penis? Well, no, because I get asthma when I'm not well. I'm definitely under the weather because my asthma has come on. Oh, God. So I might be back next week. I don't know. So when do they play? Evenings, mornings, afternoons, weekends? Monday evenings. Monday evenings. There we go. Seven a side. Seven a side. Oh, that's a big pitch. Is that big? It depends on unless they're really cramming four. They're either understaffed for an eight-a-side pitch or they're cramming a five-a-side. Oh, God. You'll be right.

34:44Just sit at the back, pass it about. I don't want to sit at the back. When you run, do your feet slap? A bit, yeah. Yeah, I bet you're a bit of a feet slapper. I am a bit of a feet slapper, yeah. They pound down. I'd say if anyone on the pitch is going for a divorce, don't go in for a 50-50 tackle. Okay, why? Well, because they're currently going for a 50-50 life split as well. So they're a bit angrier.

35:10If anyone's going for a divorce, don't bother tackling them. Just let them have that moment where they, you know, go past you. It's not worth it.

35:21Josh Widdicombe:Right, it's time to get into a special part of today's podcast called September Reset. Well, we'll be telling you how we're getting through back-to-school season after a chaotic summer. Now, this segment is brought to you by Monzo, helping you organise your money this September and maybe even double your salary. Yeah, Rob, it's intense, isn't it? It's intense. I'm excited, though. That sound you made. What's that communicating to us? Excited for the end of summer and kids going back to school, getting in a routine, but it's not easy. It's not easy, Rob. I'm worried. The bedtimes. Are you going to creep them back down or are you just going to go all in on the first day?

36:00Well, they go in on a Friday, weirdly, for the first day because I think new starters, like reception, is a Thursday. So I think I'm just going to just let them be tired that day, recover at the weekend.

36:12Josh Widdicombe:It's going to be problematic. Yes. My children were in their pyjamas until 3 p.m. today and they only got out because I went into town with them because I'd run out of ideas for other things to do. did they change or stay in the pajamas they they changed they changed what what has been on your josh as a man as a human not dad not husband not podcaster what what are you going to get sorted in september that you haven't been able to do as one of britain's premier runners i've stopped running ah okay so when are you getting back when's the first run the first run but i'm working the first three days they're at school as well i want to start running again i want to get my life back together generally that's what i want to do that's my aim for september is to re-establish myself as a human being and sat mr saturday night and also work on my photography i worry though josh when they do go back to school all the extra time we're going to get will just evaporate of course of course rob are your kids ready for school i'm paranoid that their shoes don't fit anymore we've bought them bigger shoes rob and now my son is saying that his shoes are too big well you can't have it both ways you've just got used to having shoes that hug your feet you've got to move up a size here the truth is i don't ever really get kids shoes that fit they're either way too small and i make them grind it out or they're way too big because they'll grow into them yeah i'd love them to come up to me go dad it's been three months but my shoes finally fit now good to know exactly exactly rob september can be a struggle but it can be a little easier with monzo's salary sorter on payday it splits your money between your savings bills and spending so you know exactly where you are and once you've got your pay organized just imagine getting it twice with monzo's double payday 10 customers can have their salary payment doubled every month search monzo the award-winning bank for the whole family monzo current account needed 18 plus uk residents 10 prizes per month eligible payments via backs and faster payments only and based on previous month's salary minimum salary payment 300 pounds capped at 10 000 pounds

38:15Josh Widdicombe:so i've joined the dad's football group yeah also uh went to the party then we went to hevertree fun day hevertree fun day what's that hevertree's an area of extra they had a fun day in the park did you have fun time a lot of 3d printed things i think fates and fun days are fucking shit i had a good time i hate them it's fucking shy all you do is wander around and your kids ask for shit like that plastic crap or they ask for cotton candy or they you've got to pay eight quid for them to go on a shit bouncy castle some sort of loose neck dudes rocked up in a transit van and thrown up you don't know where it's come from what it is never been cleaned your kids run around now you don't get they don't get foot of mouth and then come back to buy shit Pokemon that's just been printed off in a warehouse last night.

39:07Hate it. And then you get bullied by the charities. Not for you then? No, not for me. I don't know. It's a load of shit. I don't mind a bit of Tombola if there's games and stuff like that. But when it's just stall selling crap, it's pointless. Okay. Did you like it? Did you enjoy it? You enjoyed yourself, did you? I did enjoy it. What was your favourite part?

39:28Josh Widdicombe:My favourite part, I had some lovely food from a Greek van. Lovely food from a Greek, yeah. Yeah. Just seeing the smiles on children's faces was probably my favourite part. What, was you running the 3D printer still? Or they've all got those neados or those dumplings, the illegal ones that could, like, burn their hands if they open them. Yeah, there was dumplings. There was dumplings going around. We had a busy Saturday morning. Birthday party. And do you know what? It smarted a bit, but actually, I'm all for it. an early birthday party on a saturday yeah i went to a 10 a.m on saturday 9 15 at lush what and what yeah lush you know what lush is i didn't know you lush did birthday parties lush do you make basically make your own bath bombs in the shop right okay so i was like oh but you know what i was up at seven anyway the kids got breakfast in the car because it's a drop-off we have got to realize how lucky i don't know if you do it with your youngest being able to drop your kid off at a party rather than hanging around waiting for him is one of the greatest moments yeah i didn't do that because most of the youngest is five it's one of the greatest moments of parenthood is when all parties are drop-offs and you can just go bang see in two hours so i dropped my daughter off at 9 15 came back walked the dogs had a bit of breakfast done a few jobs then went and picked her up and then took a clothes shopping because she needed some clothes i love going shopping with her i loved it yeah it's sort of seen as like dad going clothes shopping with the door i think it's brilliant of it like it's really fun you can chat about what they're wearing and i think this is that really old school thing of like oh when my dad you say you're not going out like that well i'm like yeah i'll obviously when they're like 17 15 or whatever going out of opinions on what they're wearing whatever but i think you if you put in the work early doors we talk about outfits and clothes and show a bit of interest then at least you're coming from it from a joint perspective not just sitting in your armchair shouting you ain't going out like that but I love going clothes shopping.

41:27Josh Widdicombe:Well, if you make clothes joyful and a point of connection rather than a battlefield. So I really enjoyed it and I found it fun and then like, I don't know, it's a nice thing to do. We're trying to do more stuff where we split the girls so like I'll have one on one time with one and Luaz on the other and then we swap because otherwise I just get bundled in as two. But I've actually really enjoyed it and bought a load of clothes and then came back and then I watched two games of football. Actually, a lovely Saturday. Lovely, lovely Saturday. We've been doing a lot of Lego. I mean, the leg, my son's love of Lego is, he loves Lego.

42:06He's really, is it escalating? Lego City.

42:08Josh Widdicombe:It's great though. This is the thing. I fucking love it as well. It's so good. The standard of Lego these days is off the scale. So is the price. Well, yes, it is, Rob, but. That's the issue. it is pricey but if you've had fake lego it is good it's pricey but it is a good product i've got i just finished a donkey kong one where you can actually play donkey kong on it can you yeah the barrels come down you have a little marrow you make jump you press the button he jumps part of me is thinking about getting into it myself it's fun it is fun isn't it it is fun what would get what would get you in nostalgia stuff how about a snes no no i don't like the things where You're just building an object.

42:51Josh Widdicombe:I've got loads in it. Do you want me to show you some? Go on. I've seen what I've got in here. He's been waiting for this for four years. I've got a Ghostbusters car. Yeah, so I like that. I'll tell you why I like that, Rob. Yeah. Because it's a car or a vehicle or something that moves. What I don't like is when you see, like, the World Cup and you're just building a big object. Do you know what I mean? Well, I do have that as well, but I won't show you that. All right, I'll show you another vehicle. Don't worry. I don't know if this is good podcasting or not, but it's fucking happening. Here we go, Josh.

43:23Josh Widdicombe:Here we go. Oh, God, this. Oh, God, I forgot how much I've got. Land Rover. What, just a normal Land Rover? Little Fiat car. I don't even like cars. Right, I'm going to stop doing this because I can't hear you. I'm going to drop this in a minute. It's going to go over. I've got a Lamborghini up here as well. Are you a petrol head? And a superstar Adidas trainer. Just come back. Just come back now. When I'm in the office, I'll give you a full tour, Josh. Fuck. Tell you what the problem was there. You couldn't hear me because of your wired headphones. I know. I knew you was going to say that, you little bitch.

43:56Josh Widdicombe:I forgot you're a petrol head. A lot of those car ones I did in lockdown where I just was desperately needed to do stuff. You were hanging out at Clarkson, though, this week, weren't you? Oh, yeah. I went to the NTAs, the National Television Awards. Yeah. Strictly well. Did it. Well done. Congratulations. Well, it wasn't us. Well, no, that was the old guard. So it's like, now actually you could have done with them losing that. No, I wouldn't. No, because the spirits were high the next day. Of course, yeah, because you're a team player. Yeah. Absolutely, yeah. Fair enough. And now you're joining a winning team.

44:29Exactly.

44:30Josh Widdicombe:I am Bruno Guilherme, or whatever he's called. Guimarez. Guimarez. It's a tough name to say. No, I went to NTAs. I gave out an award. I was sitting backstage in between Clive Myrie, Jeremy Clarkson. Of course. You've reached an age. What a meeting of minds that was. I learned a lot. I sat, I actually hung back. So when you said between them, were you on set seats or did you three gravitate to each other as kind of, you know, the three middle-aged men? I walked in. Fuck you. you're not grouping me in the same age as Clarkson and Myrie. However, Clive Myrie looked the best out of all three of us.

45:15I bet he did. He looks great. Clarkson looks great for Clarkson. For Clarkson. But I wouldn't say anyone's thinking, are you that guy's older brother to me? And I found out that one in eight white men get prostate cancer. One in four black men get prostate cancer.

45:37Josh Widdicombe:what a mad stat was this the conversation with you clarkson amari yeah it was of course it is because that because you're you're of an age where that you're of an age where that is a discussion so you were sat down and you were like guys we're all in the danger zone i did not bring that conversation up i was very much a part of that conversation that it was actually brought up by clarkson which i thought was punching Of course it was. Of course. I'm a very on brand. I thought that was Clive Myrie's point to bring into the chat.

46:13I slightly worried that Clive was using it as an insult. Maybe because he went. He said, we'll talk about Preston Caz as well, you know, because it's one in eight, so everyone needs to get, it's really positive, like people should get checked. They can do all these different things now. Has he just had it, sorry? I think he might have, yeah. I'm not sure, but that's why it came up. And then he said, you know, obviously, like, so it's one in eight, so it's terrible statistics and he and then he was like and obviously if you clive it's even you know it's even like a higher probability and i went what journalists i was like why clive like i was thinking what about clive like what and then clive was like yeah one in eight one in four

46:49Josh Widdicombe:black men i was like right and i'm sat there you know that clive's got two anuses

46:56of course Of course. That's why he's on that big soft seat on Mastermind. Clive Murray's famous. Of course. I can't believe I thought it was about race. You've got to try some chance, Clive.

47:15You've got a two digestive system. I tell you who needs to get checked out, my florist.

47:23Josh Widdicombe:But that's good. And then did you talk about how films are too loud these days? No. What else was he talking about? How you can't say anything these days. No, what were we talking about? We were commenting a lot on what was going on the telly because obviously it was all watching the TV and watching the show as it was happening. So was there other groups of people that were grouped by age and gender as well? Was there like some young girls sitting together and then like the old blokes were together? No, so basically I was in there for quite a long period because I got there too early. so I walked in and there was um the guys from in line of duty and did they give their seats up for you clive and jeremy so you could all rest your weary limbs no there was there was loads of seats there was loads of seats it felt a bit like a doctor's waiting room ironically what you're waiting for finger up the arse anyway um yeah so we were and then so there was glider duty were there so we said hello to them and then the farmers clarkson's farmer choir were there because they sang so they sat with us for a bit then they went and then caleb came in and charlie from clarkson's farm so and then joe swash and stacy solomon came in so it was a bit of a and then and then i saw gordon ramsay how come you were in for this whole thing and everyone was just upping and leaving and coming and going because i said i didn't want to sit in the auditorium oh so you clive and jeremy i'd said you didn't want to sit in the auditorium i don't know i'm not sure if they didn't well jeremy wasn't there for a bit because he was up for an award so a lot of the people that they were up for awards but i wasn't so i was like it's a bit mental to sit there if i'm not up for an award i should just come on and give one out um generally and then i saw gordon ramsey and then obviously joel domit and stuff so it's fun actually nice um nice evening yeah nice yeah and then our next day i was so tired it's quite a tiring event i what's a conversation what imagine your life has led to this moment that you were discussing the different, you know, probabilities of races getting prostate cancer at the NTAs with Clive Myra and Jeremy Clarkson.

49:22Josh Widdicombe:Our life is so weird. I was like, where's all the coke and hoes? What's going on? Yeah. It's like rock and roll TV. Yeah. But, yeah, no, they're lovely, lovely guys. Clive Myra was talking about he does his show up in Belfast where they do Mastermind. Mastermind, yeah, yeah. Nice little chat. um no so it's all good good nice what a week what a week you go to our aces and you go to the ntas then then quite humbling on saturday i was in the high street in bromley with my daughter i was trying to find out where next was okay because i couldn't remember yeah but i've got my new i've implemented this is we'll talk about this after but i've got a personal phone now you johnny drug dealer phone yeah i've got my drug dealing phone um so i've got my personal phone now so i'm struggling to work out how to use it right because i don't normally have it sorry could you tell me about the split again i can't remember the split because you just seem to be replying to my text so are they personal oh we'll talk about the split in a minute but at the moment you need to know i'm on my new phone okay yeah i come out so i'm stood i normally quite quick through the high street i'm stood there there's a lady on the bench goes hello i'm like hello you're all right she goes you don't half look like that bloke off the telly that rock bloke and i went oh yeah i'll get that a lot you know and she went yeah you do look like him i like him most people don't but i think he's all right with your daughter there yeah she's pissing us off brilliant

50:50anyway um the other thing she always brings up around i've told this before that the old bloke who saw me with my whippet and said you're my dog skinny have i told you this story no it was an old bloke used to live where we used to live old italian geezer shuffling about i don't know how old he was or if he was really old if he was a bit younger but wasn't you know at full health and he used to walk his little dog he had a little like furry dog and he said to me once your dog is skinny but you is fat

51:25um now so the phone stitch you want to know my phone stitch yeah got another phone yeah yeah so basically i need a new sim for it if you do any i did an e-sim because i thought i'm a modern guy i don't need to wait for a bit of plastic no sim i'm an e-sim dude so i bought an e-sim and i'll be delivered this was last saturday i'll be delivered in one to two days or three to five days whatever just hasn't turned up but they didn't email me because all you need is the qr code really and you scan that it is activated but they don't email they don't email at you they send you on a bit of paper oh god so i was like what this fucking meant all that why not just email me the qr code i open it on my desktop with my new phone scan it e-sim why are we waiting for the post it's fucking meant i thought it wouldn't come in the post that's why i did easy anyway so eventually it came after like eight days or something so i've got a new phone that is same model i'm still on my work one they've got another number yeah but the only people have got my number of the other one like lou and like family member my mom at the moment only lou my mum has got it yeah and then i have that so it's got all my like spotify maps parking all that

52:36Josh Widdicombe:stuff my cards on it to pay instagram tiktok no no social media at all great right it's got youtube on it but i've disabled shorts i can't watch shorts on it right so i've got no social media whatsoever and then the plan is like nine till six i have my work phone that i've been replying to you on and then at the weekends i'll check this a couple of times to reply to messages like for 10 20 minutes and turn it off put it in the drawer it's good then all weekend i've got my new phone and then when i go on holiday i'm always going to have my work phone with me but it will be like turn on check turn it off go out for the day and i've got a phone that i can it's good and it's really working and i've only had it for the weekend but at six o 'clock turn this off and then i've got a phone that i need to do if i need to do stuff with or checks things or look at normal stuff so whatsapp it's got whatsapp on it but only a handful of people got my number i'm only going to give my agent it and say call me that in an emergency and then i feel so disconnected from the world in a nice way even though i've still got a phone and can do normal stuff yeah that's good i'm not being dragged into career stuff because i was and just got a loop well i don't think career stuff is my problem what's your problem on your phone it's aimless scrolling it's 100 % yeah but then but aimless so aimless scrolling is a big problem but because of my algorithm it just drags me into stuff that's sort of comedy entertainment stuff as well as and then I'm thinking about that you know I'm thinking of ideas or this or that you know what I mean so it's a combination of the both right I don't think mine is career I think mine is desperate instagram and then just the whatsapp and the internet because i don't know if i said someone said to me a good thing of like when you're scrolling and you're because it is addictive it's got this algorithm thing's got to be stopped it's mental it's insane the way it just like attracts oh you can just burn three hours doing nothing is like rather than going i don't know if i tell me if i told you this last week i might have told you in person someone said rather than scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and going i'm not even enjoying this why am i doing it why am i doing it because that's what the feeling is and you can't stop yeah i'm not even enjoying this why am i still doing this i'm still doing another album is go what what am i trying to not feel by doing this yeah what emotion and what thing is sort of am i trying to use this scrolling to distract myself from yeah of course yeah pull myself away from or dull my mind from because it I'm using scrolling the same way as I'd use four pints in the pub after work.

55:08Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. It feels like I wasn't a smoker, but it feels like, oh, I'm stressed. I'll just scroll. Yes. And that's what I was using it for, which wasn't. I use it a lot when I'm ill. So when I'm not well at the moment, tired, when I'm tired, it's my way of, if I can't go to sleep, but I'm, oh, I had an awful time in Dublin airport, Rob. Not in Dublin airport, in Heathrow airport. um so after strictly obviously we had a drink it's mental you had to go and do that doubling i got to the heathrow hotel at quarter to two in the morning but when you rescheduled it you didn't know that you were going to be doing the strictly first show did you obviously so you got so you so you finished the strictly show and then went to heathrow for 2am yeah oh i wonder you're right so you get to heathrow at 2am woke up i'd had like woke up at like 10 or something i was so tired.

56:02Josh Widdicombe:I was like, this is mad. Had to just get up, go to the airport, go to Terminal 5, just get a table and prep. And then I'm just sat there and they're like, plane delayed an hour. And all I'm thinking is, I've just got to stay awake here because I just want to... At one point, I genuinely thought I might go to the toilet and get in a cubicle and lie on the floor and set my alarm for half an hour that's how tired i was do you think a test test daily used to do that no i don't i don't think she did i think she might have had a bit more of a well-managed diary in the regard of like yeah she wasn't gigging in dublin no but then this but at the time you didn't know that you were going to be doing that to be fair so it's not you know it wasn't by design it was by no it's just bad luck and it had to be done because it had already been rescheduled so i'm not going to reschedule it again great place to go for a gig though at least you're going there it was pleasant it was very fun really nice um but i was just so so tired but in those situations i can't read music you can scroll you can scroll that's a real scrolling situation isn't it yes because it's like if i try and read i haven't got it in me but it it's toxic 100 so i i so that's that's we couldn't And I do think what did people do before the phones in this situation?

57:31I think they smoked. I genuinely think people will look back on photos of all of us on trains and at places scrolling on train station platforms or on the train scrolling the same way as we look back at people smoking on the tube and go, I can't believe they all did that.

57:47Josh Widdicombe:I disagree because I think this is going to go on and get worse and worse and worse. No, I think it might. I think it's going to hit a bit of a turning point. I hope so. I hope so. There's so much fake shit on your algorithm now, like AI stuff, where stuff used to be exciting to see. Now I'm like, I don't even know what I'm seeing anymore. It's becoming a bit of a blurge. So I think what people will want is real grassroots, authentic stuff. Like, wouldn't it be cool to go to a gig that you only knew about through posts? Like, for example, if I did a lot of work in progress gig, but just put posters up in Bromley.

58:21Yeah. And did no push on social media. I tell you who'd be coming, that woman.

58:29I don't know. I just think, especially the younger generations must find it so icky how much their parents are on their phone. Surely there's going to be a punk movement of grassroots stuff that's really local, like the antithesis of. You really hope so. Capitalism of just a globalization of just like, no, this is ours. This is real. This is happening and live because everything else is sort of so forced. well rob that is what this you know warts and all podcast is all about oh that yeah that's why we're here seeing if josh is going to shit himself during the show because he's had a center cut

59:04Josh Widdicombe:see you next time flows first do the uh small business shout out now it's time for small business shout out brought to you by vista print your expert print partner to help you bring your ideas to life rob talk to me about how vista print can help you with your small business here's an idea first of all i hate badly printed merch right you know when you go somewhere you're going to see a new band or something you want their merch and it's it's ruined in one go in the washing machine it's heartbreaking the mug when the image goes the mug when you think i can't dry clean this not dry clean it i can't dry clean it i don't know how dry cleaning work sure you've got to give it i've never understood it i've never understood it rob i'm never gonna i never am gonna i'm never gonna look into it imagine you're starting a new dry cleaning business you've got some merch yeah you want it printed well because that mug sorry you're a dry cleaning business doing your own merch for the dry cleaning business exactly fair enough it's a popular dry cleaning business yeah and what is the new band doing pressing trousers in the interval exactly yeah okay do you know what i love a branded t-shirt for a small business yeah so building firms.

1:00:12Yeah. We had a building firm and they came and they've all got the matching polo shirts with the matching logo and they all look clean, they all look smart and at that point, I don't care what they're doing to my foundations, I trust the polo. Exactly. Trust the polo. It looks different, so they look like a professional outfit. Because they're wearing a professional outfit. Exactly. Right, small business? Yes. Hi, Josh, Robert, Michael. I'd like to nominate my super big sissies rather special and award-winning marmalade and preserve business. Stoko House. Stoko? S-T-O-K-O-E. Stoko House? Stoko.

1:00:48I live in Australia, so unfortunately can't do much to help her business from here there. But surely nominating her for a small business shout-out makes up for me not being able to buy her yummy jams.

1:00:57Josh Widdicombe:I'm going to say, you can take marmalade a long distance, just ask Paddington. Absolutely. Meet him in Peru for a quick switchover. Exactly. Exactly. She lives in a tiny little village up in Cumbria called Gary Gill. Gary Gill sounds like a geese my dad should do tarmac. And a few years ago started the business as a solid line. She uses fresh organic fruits, often handpicked, and she cooks and prepares everything herself. All of the products are delicious. Think pickled pears, apple and fennel chutney, Yamola Yamington Raspberry Jam. Yep, that is a real name, to name a few. She's won multiple awards and this year finally won double gold at the World Marmalade Awards.

1:01:37Yes! I can't believe you've not hosted that award. for her traditional Seville orange marmalade. Oh, wow. Check out her website to see the full range and place an order online. It's www.stokehouse.co.uk. She works so hard sterilising, picking, peeling, and chopping, and cooking, and we're so proud of her. Thanks for your support. Ali. Good morning, Rob, Josh, and Michael. Good morning. I hope you're well.

1:02:04Josh Widdicombe:I'd love to give my husband's business, Eduplay Creations UK, a small business shout-out if possible. He's worked incredibly hard on it, truly deserves for it to pay off. Eduplay designs and handcrafts, outdoor play and learning equipment for children. Things like mud kitchens, sensory tables, outdoor play setups that encourage kids to get outside, get messy and burn off some energy. Alongside working with schools and nurseries, we also create bespoke pieces for families at home, including send-friendly designs, S-E-N-D, not as in easy to send through the post. No, no. Many of our products are adapted to be more accessible and inclusive, supporting children with additional needs through sensory play and hands-on learning.

1:02:50Josh Widdicombe:For example, we've just completed a project creating accessible planters for children using wheelchairs so everyone could be involved in outdoor learning. Amazing. Everything's made to order here in... Come on, Rob, have a guess. It'll be somewhere up north. Where do we always get them in from? Probably. Kent, and built to survive both kids and the British weather. when I tell you what you don't need to worry about that oh god oh god you can find us on Instagram at eduplay creations UK how are you smelling that like edu the former Arsenal midfielder edu play creation like the record label love it like a snake and then UK like like the country the country yeah our website www.edu the Arsenal footballer play as in the Moby album creation as in the record labels as in the snake UK as in the country calm thank you so much for everything you do stay sexy and relatable from Freya absolutely perfect no pointers no comments Vista print.co.uk print your possible to get 15 % off your first Vista print order visit Vista print.co.uk and use the code pounding hell 15

1:04:08There we go. Small business shout out. All done. All dusted. Now, good luck to those businesses. And Josh, to add even more jeopardy, we're going to record another episode of this straight after.

1:04:20Josh Widdicombe:Yeah. Let's see if the Seneca takes hold. Let's see if the medication takes hold. Will Josh shit himself special 2026.

1:04:30Bye. Bye.