Trump is an Insane Woman

0:06What's up? What's up, everybody? Welcome to a brand new episode of part of the problem. I am Dave Smith and he is Robbie the fire Bernstein figure of all technical issues figured out. We got Rob back and that's what really matters. How are you doing today, sir? Refreshed. You know, I got the day off yesterday. I was able to eat some donuts, take a nap, and I feel like a whole new me. That's like going to the spa, baby. There you go. Get that Phoenix stink off of you. I did say yesterday, we had a great time out there. And our next gig together, both me and Rob will be in Toronto. First time, I think, that we've done stand-up together in Toronto, if I'm not mistaken, which is a great comedy town, and I've not been there for years.

0:50So really looking forward to that June 5th, one night only at the Parkdale Hall. It's a beautiful theater out there in Toronto. Two shows, June 5th, and then June 18th, 19th, 20th, we will be at Comedy Works. First, the Comedy Works South in Grenwood Village on June 18th. Then June 19th and 20th, the Comedy Works Downtown, which just a legendary weekend that we had last year. Every show was sold out last year. So hoping to do that again, grab tickets now if you want to come out, because that is a hot market. They move fast. So comicdapesmith.com for all those tickets. And Rob, your portion, I believe?

1:31Oh, I got a busy weekend. I got Bridgeport, Connecticut on Thursday night, Astoria. No, I'm sorry. That's Friday night, Astoria, New York, Saturday night. Definitely going to go to my pizza guy afterwards. Haven't been there forever. Hell yeah. Old Sabre, Connecticut on Sunday, and then Washington, D.C., Burdett, New York, Byron, Michigan, and more coming your way. And dates are at RobBurnsonComedy.com, and you can still submit your porch at TheFireTix.com. Getting busy. Rob's going to get some delicious Astoria pizza and then sit on a toilet for 24 hours. Well, I would actually eat the pizza there, but my pizza guy, Leo, he's the man.

2:05Very good. Very good. All right. So let's get into it because there's a lot to talk about. But this is it. You know, listen, obviously, nothing has changed. This war is a catastrophe. Man, this has been a bad 24 hours, Rob. Like everything, everything that's happened since I've recorded yesterday has just been a bad sign after a bad sign. Donald Trump is in full, you know. He's just a drunk, crazy bitch at this point. I don't know what to say. This is what I've been saying on stage. It's just he he is conducting this war like a drunk woman. But essentially, let's try to kind of catch up to speed here.

2:49But so basically, after all this talk about how we were very close to a deal. And at one point, if you remember a week and a half ago, he just said we have a deal and we're getting all the enriched uranium. They get nothing for it. And we get so Donald Trump has been openly basically saying he's going to get the Iranians to capitulate. we have been regularly you know talking on this show about how they are they are saying we're not doing that very clearly that is their position um today donald trump i mean he doesn't admit that but he he acts like it's them who's that but essentially they sent back their proposal donald trump said he didn't even finish reading it it was dead on arrival uh that he he now is saying the ceasefire is on life support, that there's a 1 % chance the ceasefire holds.

3:41So I don't know, you know, if Donald Trump actually is going to back, is going to go back to, to, um, dropping bombs, but certainly in the, in the bad, went in a bad direction from just where it was yesterday. Yep. Well, uh, you know, I, it's quite the turnaround. Usually it's 24 hours till Donald Trump completely changes his mind, but they were really trying to sell the story last week of, uh, we got a deal in the works. Uh, the thing that stuck out to me, I once read this book. It was really good. It was called dealing with people you can't stand. And it was just like different strategies for different kinds of people.

4:19And, uh, one of the archetypes was a tank. And basically with the tank, you just want to slow it down. And I feel like that's so what the Iranians are doing is that they know that Donald Trump, he just comes in full force, all the bluster in the world and you just want to slow those people down because they kind of get bored and move on and i think that's uh the the more the the slower that this can go and the more it gets close to the midterms and the more that there's costs i mean i guess you might get chaotic dan donald trump who just starts bombing them into oblivion but uh they're slowing them slowing donald trump down strategy definitely works and it drives trump nuts yeah yeah oh there's no there's no question about that um but it's you know look it's um well so okay so essentially what was reported was that right iran basically sent them a a deal and that donald trump was okay this is it sounds like it was the exact same deal that they had be offered beforehand which was let's have a permanent end to the war and we can discuss the uh nuclear thing at another time you stole the words from my mouth.

5:23It seems like, like, we don't know exactly. We didn't see exactly what they sent, but they said that basically they outright rejected Trump's deal. That was very clearly reported that they just rejected Trump's deal. Then they said Trump's deal would essentially be a surrender to Donald Trump. We are not prepared to surrender. We're not doing that. And we offer you our deal. My guess is pretty much very similar to the 10 point plan, very similar to what their demands have been all along, which is it's like essentially that we get like some type of like non-aggression pact. Like we promised not to attack them again.

6:07They were for a while. I doubt they're still hanging on to the reparations for the war thing, because if you remember, they had already backed off that where they said that charging fees for the Strait of Hormuz could serve as that. But look, they're like sanctions relief and stop the war. And and we'll figure out what we do with the Strait of Hormuz. I mean, they've declared that Iranian territory now. And, you know, who knows what the. But anyway, so, yeah, I mean, it's just. What can you say, dude, this this war is just turned into such a goddamn disaster. Every single move was wrong, then including the worst one of all was which was just launching the thing.

6:49And, you know, I do still I'd say this is like I don't know if you've read Professor Pape at all. He writes about the escalation trap. I still don't think I agree with his prediction. You know, he's like, this is going to escalate until there's boots on the ground. I just think the realities of that are, I still, I think Donald Trump quits and tries to spin this as a win, even though it doesn't work before he actually does that. Now, whether he lights him up from the sky again, that is a little bit more debatable. But I just, I don't know. It's tough to make predictions. There's so many variables.

7:30I do think ultimately, eventually he quits this because he really is, you know, dude, I remember literally, I learned what the term escalation dominance meant when I read about the Pentagon saying that we don't have escalation dominance in Iran and then 2007 or whatever this was, 2008, maybe. And, and there's just something, you know, I was like, oh, what do they mean by that? We don't have escalation dominance. And the idea of escalation dominance is that like, no matter what they do, you can always overwhelm them. So if they do this, then we do that. And if they do this, then we do that. And you could really see where like, you're like, oh yeah, look, I don't really, I'm not no military expert, but you could see how you're like, oh yeah, that really is the difference between these wars and all the other wars that I've watched is that it's like, oh, they're making moves that like, fuck, we don't have a move for that.

8:19Like at this point, it's like, you're pinned into, okay, even the going back to an air campaign, It's all come out now, Rob. They still got a huge pile of intercontinental ballistic missiles that like, according to literally just pieces in the Wall Street Journal, in the New York Times, in the Washington Post, the CIA has confirmed this, that like it's they have you. So then we're right back in a situation like, I don't know, dude, they may really light some shit up themselves. We're pinned. What can we do? We can't open the strait. We can't get them to we can't get the regime to capitulate. wait, what other move here is there then to just quit?

8:57And so I do still think like there's gotta be a decent chance that he ends up doing that. All right, guys, let's take a moment and thank our sponsor for today's show, which is The Wellness Company. When credible doctors start paying attention to repurposed medications, it's worth asking why. Dr. Harvey Risch, former professor of epidemiology at Yale and now serving on the president's cancer panel is helping lead that conversation, a new groundbreaking observational study from the wellness company, analyzed the off-label use of ivermectin and mabendazole in nearly 200 cancer patients treated by licensed doctors across cancers like breast, prostate, lung, and colon.

9:36And the results are hard to ignore. After six months, 84 % of patients experienced clinical benefits, including stable disease, tumor regression, or no evidence of disease. This is not lab data. This is real-world patient experience. Dr. Risch, the chief epidemiologist at the Wellness Company, called it an exciting signal deserving serious scientific investigation and more accessible, lower-cost cancer care options. That's why the Wellness Company makes it easy to access an ivermectin plus mabendazole formula using medications that are FDA-approved for other indications and are being studied for additional use.

10:12It's doctor-prescribed and USA-compounded, designed to support patients exploring these emerging approaches under medical guidance. Ordering is simple and fully digital. You just fill out a quick intake form, a licensed doctor reviews it, and your prescription ships directly to your door. If you're interested in checking this out, go to twc.health slash problem and use the promo code problem to save up to$60 off plus free shipping. One more time, that's twc.health slash problem, and the promo code is problem to save up to$60 off plus free shipping. All right, let's get back into the show i don't know what do you think i think it's more likely that he bombs the shit out of them and uh does something that we all think is terrible then he just blatantly walks away with absolutely nothing and i think part of that is just the israeli pressure and influence that uh donald trump seems to be beholden to for unknown reasons yeah well yeah maybe you're right about that um i mean i can't say for sure but i'm just saying if uh if i had to guess what's more likely i think donald trump uh walking away without you know at least the nuclear option off the table which was more easily addressed before the war started i i don't see him just walking away and i i see him more likely to commit war crimes you know the problem is the real problem we have right now and oh god it's out of like a greek tragedy or something like that is just that like if if donald trump's coalition was salvageable if his presidency was salvageable there would at least be a much stronger incentive to end this thing but because it's so clearly not you just don't have that incentive you know you don't have the like you'll get tucker carlson back on your side if you go do this it's like nah dude you're way past that you're not like and I mean look dude that the fucking I don't know if you saw the uh the monthly inflation number that just dropped at that end of Trump's presidency dude that's it he just got fucking destroyed and it's not over it's it's just like yo dude you literally got up and said publicly that I know what I'm doing is causing this but I'm willing to accept that I'm willing to do a thing over here.

12:34And yeah, you guys got to pay slightly higher prices. You're like, okay, well, that's the opposite of what you ran on very clearly. And so like, it's a real problem now that we don't have that incentive. He knows there's nothing but like, there's nothing but failure behind door number one, which is to pull out, which is true. There's nothing but failure behind pulling out, but it's still our best option. And so if he's looking at that, he's like, he's got to imagine that there could be something better behind door number two. Like he's got to imagine there's a way he can pull this off. And, you know, you know, is that, that great Bill Burr joke about, uh, um, Arnold Schwarzenegger, you know what I'm talking about?

13:15Do you not know this joke? It's like, basically it's a, his joke is about how, uh, they're like, how could Arnold Schwarzenegger have the audacity to try to sleep with his mate? And he's like, look at what this guy pulled off. He's on fire, blah, blah, blah. It's a great bit. Um, but so anyway, it's kind of like that, Like, who's anyone to convince Donald Trump at this point in his life that he can't pull some shit off? You know, I don't think about the guy's been pulling crazy shit off his entire life. So listen, I'm I'm definitely very concerned about that possibility. So anyway, so on that note of Trump holding out hope, he also does not care about the Republican Party.

13:52He does not care about who runs after him. He does not care what happens once he's gone. Um, and so I think you're right that the strategic move of maybe salvaging his coalition or salvaging the party for whoever's coming next is not as concerned. And so in that regards, he is playing for keeps. And, uh, I think that this one is just beyond his skillset. He's used to maximum aggression. You either get a win or you just walk away cleanly and pretend like nothing happened. And there's no way to do either here. Yeah. Yep. Seems so. All right. Um, so I want, I want to get into some of the, the Donald Trump clips, um, cause he spoke, uh, yesterday and it's quite insane.

14:33Um, but, uh, I just wanted to mention before that, cause we talked briefly before the show about this, but pretty, um, I don't know. I don't even know how to say, say it. They're a very surprising, I guess, turn of events that, uh, Robert Kagan, um, who if anybody doesn't know who Robert Kagan is, he is like one of the, he must be in the top few living neoconservatives, like in terms of ranking. Now, Robert Kagan was one of the original founders of the Project for a New American Century. He was in, worked in the George W. Bush government, one of the most high ranking neocons out there. And of course, one of the architects and cheerleaders of the war in Iraq.

15:24And he wrote this piece for the Atlantic and it's titled checkmate in Iran. Washington can't reverse or control the consequences of losing this war by Robert Kagan. I just want to read like the first paragraph. Can I just give the short without having read the article or knowing what Robert Kagan is, but I know that these guys are sitting around going, listen, you want wars that are expensive that you can win so that you run profits to the military industrial complex wars that you can lose that you stock trade against that's not the way this thing is supposed to work they're like we never even envisioned this level of corruption not that far off um but it is by the way uh robert kagan i should mention that robert kagan is victoria newland's husband so if you remember victoria newland the one who was instrumental in causing the wonderful situation between ukraine and russia that winning track record the husband do you imagine a married couple where the husband did iraq and the wife did Ukraine.

16:21This is just a goddamn amount of human devastation that was created from this one bedroom. Anyway, okay, so here's the piece. It's hard to think of a time when the United States suffered a total defeat in a conflict, a setback so decisive that the strategic loss could be neither repaired nor ignored. The calamitous losses suffered at Pearl Harbor, the Philippines, and throughout the Western Pacific in the first months of World War II were eventually reversed. The defeats in Vietnam and Afghanistan were costly, but did not do lasting damage to America's overall position in the world because they were far from the main theaters of global competition.

16:59The initial failure in Iraq was mitigated by a shift in strategy that ultimately left Iraq relatively stable and unthreatening to its neighbors and kept the United States dominant in the region. And he goes on to say that this is the only one where we just cannot roll back the losses from this. And it's going to result in us being in a much worse place in the region and Iran being a global power. So in other words, Robert Kagan is admitting what we've been saying this whole time. But it's kind of interesting to see Robert Kagan acknowledging that. Now, I know it's like, even in a moment like this, you still want to wring his neck as he's writing it, because there is, like, he's correct in a literal sense.

17:44Like, what I just read you is factually correct. It is true that like we suffered, Iraq was very costly, but at the end of Iraq, there was still an Iraq there. And he's right. It wasn't a threat to its neighbors. And he's right that our standing in the Middle East wasn't changed. We were still the dominant force with bases all throughout the region, including in Iraq, you know, like we were still running the show. Now it's, there's something about the guy who was responsible for the war that cost$2 trillion and got a million people killed. Making that point is like a little bit infuriating because It's like, yeah, but there were a million people who got killed in that thing, dude, including thousands, tens of thousands.

18:22If you count the suicides they committed after they left the thing of our young boys. So, like, you know, how is how are you writing about foreign policy still? Like, I just don't I don't know, Rob. I've always had this attitude. That is just to you have to go away after that. Right. It's insane that you. But anyway, but even even some of these guys, you know, and and the neocons. they wanted this war for the longest time you know they were all the ones who were cheerleading a war with Iran um it's interesting to see even them recognize the reality you know it's been this war I feel like has moved quick uh in a lot of ways it's it's um it has not been going on for for very long and yet already it feels like some sped up version of how things usually are like Usually the way things go, Rob, is that me and you in real time are saying lockdowns are bullshit.

19:19And then a year and a half later, everybody's coming around to admitting it. Or the week of Hunter Biden's laptop going out, me and you out here, like, yo, this is Hunter Biden's laptop. This has nothing to do with Russia. And then a year and a half later, the New York Times is admitting it. You know what I mean? It's kind of like that's the natural cycle. In this case, it was like, oh, four weeks ago, me and you were staking out this position. And now the New York Times and the Washington Post and now even like the neoconservatives are just admitting what's obvious right here. I mean, look, we're like we said, Donald Trump, we're at square one.

19:56We're not at square one. We're at square negative 50 because we're worse than at square one. we've achieved none of the war goals have this whole new major problem that threatens the global economy and no means by which to solve any of this so anyway I thought that was worth mentioning you want to any thoughts Robert you want to jump into some of these Trump clips let's jump into the Trump clips let's okay let's let's go just you can just play them in the order that I sent them to you Natalie so here was Donald Trump had he was doing some health related thing but then he took questions from the press and then said he had to leave because the generals were waiting on him.

20:34But he had some nuggets in there. So let's take a look. Can you tell us anything about that proposal and what, if any, would have changed to break the stick? It was just unacceptable. You know, a lot of people said, well, does he have a plan? Yeah, of course they do have the best plan ever. Iran has been defeated militarily, totally. They have a little left. They probably built up during this period of time. We'll knock that out in about a day. But I have a plan. You know, it's a very simple plan. I don't know why you don't say it like it is. Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon. They're very dangerous.

21:13They're very volatile. It's a terrible thing that's happened over there. They've killed. All right. So this was actually a very revealing clip because I think it actually gets to what the real problem with Donald Trump's plan is, is that he does not seem to know what a plan is. like he goes here's my plan it's very simple iraq cannot have nuclear weapons like sir are you under the impression that that's a plan that's a sentence it's not a plan the plan would be how do you prevent them from that well so far your plan has been to slaughter a bunch of people devastate the global economy and incentivize them to make a nuke more that's not a good plan um you could use a donut day yourself but you meant iran can't get a nuclear bomb i'm sorry you know it's easy to what did i say iraq and not a big one you know but just in case people got confused um because we already spent uh 20 years in iraq so i guess we handled that problem yeah i'm sorry i was thinking of a different war that we started over a fake nuclear threat there's only one letter off.

22:30Yeah. All right. Greatest plan ever. Cool. Cause everything you've done seems to be going horribly. Is that part of this greatest plan ever? Is this all going according to plan? Cause it seems like you're in a real mess. Is that, is that the way your plan works? Donald Trump. So the plan, the plan was to have around send an agreement that you didn't even finish reading and threw in the trash. That was your plan. Okay. Things are going right. According to plan and this stuff man we're up to at chess it's just it's in a different uh realm of reality so you and i can't comprehend it yep yep and look man it's it's also um it's there there are certain things that are a little bit unclear in this war now uh according to reporting and this is this has been reported in in like this was reported in new york times and in the washington post and the Wall Street Journal.

23:20But it seems like it wasn't like, like there'd be pieces about it, but it just then, then it doesn't like become part of the daily talking points. But evidently, dude, our bases over there have been devastated. Like they're essentially all unusable at this point. And Israel, as you know, Rob has kept a very tight lid on exactly how much Iran hit them or how many people died or how much was destroyed. There were videos that came out that showed like buildings had been hit. I mean, Israel got bombed heavily in this war. And that might also have something to do with why we very quickly transitioned into a military blockade away from bombing campaigns with a very temporary, very, you know, weak ceasefire.

24:03But, you know, Donald Trump just keep, he wants to keep going down this like, oh, dude, they're devastated. We're awesome. And it's like, all right, but that doesn't, just devastating them doesn't mean anything you get zero points for just killing people what have you achieved from any of that um and uh i ran out having a nuclear bomb was a pretty easy agenda all you had to do was not bomb them and uh actually make a deal the thing that you claim you're so great at and love doing well it's just too i mean it's just too obvious i think to anybody paying attention and this is why Like, you know, obviously, like at least as of now, and that's the big as of now, because like you said, he might go back to bombing them and they might go back.

24:50And this is this is what happens in a lot of these wars. You know, this happened in Vietnam. It's like presidents get their back up against the wall and then they're like, all right, let me just do one more escalation, one more escalation, one more. And before you know what, we're joining. Now, I don't. The reason why things are different here is because it's not there aren't boots on the ground. And that does change things a little bit. or a lot but it's um yeah you know you know like it was this this war was supposed to be weeks not months you know and it's you could see the thing escalating and playing out but anyway the war like as as kagan points out i mean it's just this has been a such a disaster and it was and it's so obvious and it was so clearly foolish to launch this thing you know it's like you play you know the thing that if you remember, Rob, before the 12 day war, I kept saying this risks catastrophe.

25:45And then all of the, you know, Hawks would be like, ha ha, catastrophe didn't come. And then my response was like, Hey dude, you could play Russian roulette and not blow your brains out. That doesn't mean that wasn't a hell of a risky thing. And it's like, and, and I'm saying like, you risk catastrophe when you do these things that all you guys kept fucking around and you got it. Congratulations. You got the catastrophe that you kept insisting we risk. And it's just obvious for anyone to see, dude, that if you just want to live, all you want is to live in a world where Iran doesn't have nuclear weapons in the Strait of Hormuz is open.

26:19That was the fucking world we lived in, man. And it's just so full of shit. This whole war, how anyone can support it is just beyond me. Okay, anyway, let's go to the next Donald Trump clip being a crazy drunk bitch.

26:38To me, just to put it on the record, they said to me, there are only two countries in the entire world that could ever get that stuff out of there because we don't have the equipment and nobody else. They said China and the United States. So I just want to let you know, those pilots did an unbelievable job a dangerous job at one o 'clock in the morning think of it no no moon no nothing we had no light purposely and every single one of those bombs were right down an air chute in a granite mountain and exploded and they are unable to get it even if they wanted to but we're not going to take a chance so that's part of the deal so sorry you say they agreed to allow the people all their Well, they did two days ago.

27:24Okay. They did two days ago. They said, you're going to have to take it. We were going to go with them. But they changed their mind because they didn't put it in the paper. So when they sent us this document that we waited four days for, that should have taken 10 minutes to do, it's very simple. We get that. They guarantee no nuclear weapons for a very long period of time and a couple of other minor things, but they just can't get there. So they agree with us, and then they take it back. But they said to us that it was so badly obliterated, was the word they actually used, that was my original word, that it got challenged by some of the fake news.

28:00And it wasn't challenged with any knowledge. It was just challenged like they were hoping that this wouldn't have been so successful. Now, it was obliterated. We have the greatest military in the world. I built it largely in my first term, and I didn't know I'd be using it quite this much in my second term. but very simply when they say does he have a plan yeah i have a plan the plan is very simple you know in war you have to change you have to be flexible you have a lot of plans but you have to do different plans in different days but i have a great plan but the plan is they cannot have a nuclear weapon and they didn't say that in their letter okay again he just struggles with the concept, the concept of what a plan is.

28:45And look, I mean, what, what can you say here about this rambling? And there's more that he goes off on this, but he's just, look, man, I'll just say this. It is not, I try not to make claims that I don't know as definitive claims. Like it is possible that someone from Iran told him or someone in his inner circle told him that they're talking to people who are going to do this. I'll just say there is not a shred of evidence that this is anything other than Donald Trump just making this up. It makes, Rob, it makes absolutely no sense that a couple of days ago, Iran was saying you can come in and take this enriched uranium when they've just been so clear throughout the entire time that this is not, dude, they put out one of their leaders today, put out a statement about how they might go to weapons grade, uranium you know donald trump attacks us again we might break out try to get a bomb that's what they're saying if we might use that enriched uranium and enrich it further they're not saying we're gonna hand it over to you like i don't know it's just this seems very much like something donald trump is just making up and for him to even say you know well they said one thing and then they did another you're like dude you've started two wars with this country while negotiating with them.

30:07You know, you can't come around and go, these guys really fucking negotiate like assholes. I just, what can you say, Rob? I have a perfect flawless plan, which is why I'm changing my plan. Perfect plans need changes. I can't tell you what the plan is. And then also he's lying because, you know, they keep saying Iran just can't have a nuke, which I still think you can come to an agreement on that. The problem is when you say zero nuclear enrichment, which is basically saying you cannot be your own country you have to placate to our every demand and guess what we haven't defeated them in a war where you're going to get absolute surrender so even here when he goes firstly he's not using the word plan correctly as you uh showcased uh he's just saying we have a plan which is they can't get a nuclear bomb that's not a plan that's a goal and can you achieve that goal and the answer is yes if you're actually reasonable and you drop the zero nuclear enrichment and you realize, oh, we are not winning this war.

31:04We don't want to commit war crimes and bomb the country into oblivion. So I guess we have to actually make a fair deal, which includes allowing for nuclear enrichment. So he's also just lying on that point. Yep. No, 100%. He's lying on all of it because we had a round without nuclear weapons all along. And yeah, I mean, it's just, I don't know, dude. Like I hope, which is not impossible. I hope Donald Trump just like maybe for health reasons or something just has to step down. Like, I'm not saying like I wish the illness on him. I don't care. But it's just like this thing is so jumped the shark, man.