99 Happy Members. 1 Cancellation. Why We Obsess Over the Wrong One.

0:00If you are spending your time on people who your community is not right for, who are not into it, stop and say, what can I learn from this?

0:15Hi, I'm Gina Bianchini, and this is People Magic, where I am showing you step-by-step the easiest way to create a$1 million digital business. I'm psyched that you're joining me. So here is our first question. Hi, Gina. I run a small but lively knitting community. Up until recently, we had 10 members, but then someone canceled their membership, and I'm taking it pretty hard. Everyone else seems happy with the community, but I'm fixating on the one who left. Am I taking this too personally, or is this a sign of failure? This is such a great question. So first and foremost, let's talk about the fear of creating a digital business that is all about bringing people together.

1:00And the reality is that when we start these kinds of businesses, we start them with the most excitement. This is going to be amazing. I'm going to help people unlock results and transformation in their lives. And when someone then tells you they don't get it, they're busy. They don't see the full value in it. You could have 99 people absolutely love it, and we are wired to focus on the one person who doesn't get it or who unsubscribes. That's just a reality that I wish was not true. I certainly would have more fun if that was not the case, that I could see the 99 people who are having an incredible transformational experience versus that one person who's like, why would I use you guys?

1:55Or can't we just do this on a Facebook group or WhatsApp? Or I think I'm just too busy for this. So there is that fear. And in my experience, it's best to just call it by its name, put it out there, surround yourself with other people on the same path that you are on building this kind of digital business. That's why we have a community of hosts at Mighty Networks called Mighty Community amongst other communities that we have behind more and more VIP levels. But fundamentally, as I think about these fears, anything that you can do and the people around you can do to focus you in on what is working as opposed to what is not working is super important.

2:44When people are unsubscribing, that feels like failure. And so we need to go into talking about how to reframe the things that feel like failure as you are building your digital business, when they are in fact the workshopping and the experimentation and the rapid learning that you need to go through. You got to go through that path to unlock growth and success. How do you talk about things that are surprising and awesome when you are seeing people unsubscribe, which is the equivalent of breaking up with you, or at least that's how it feels. First and foremost, I get it. You can have 99 people have an incredible experience, but if one person is like, I don't know, it is so hard not to second guess yourself and want that person back.

3:41They rejected you on some level or what it feels like. I want to offer a reframing and reframing, reframing, reframing is the best tool in your toolbox. Whether you choose to build a paid membership or course or run any kind of business or in general, interact with other human beings, reframing allows you to process and accept that first reaction, that first fear, that first sense of, oh my gosh, I'm failing, Or, oh my gosh, no one likes me and I should just go give up. Or the worst part when you're bringing people together is, what if you have a party and nobody shows up? To me, that is my most terrifying fear.

4:28It stops me from doing so many different things that I want to go ahead and host because I'm afraid I'm going to have a party and nobody's going to show up. I have had to figure this out for myself because otherwise I'm living a very limited life and it's not that much fun. So what I've learned and what I would encourage you to embrace as well is this is the moment to stay curious. So step number one is, wait a second, who is not unsubscribing? Who is not unsubscribing? What is the experience they are having? What's working? So instead of going to that place of fear of like, oops, I'm failing.

5:12I had a party and nobody's showing up. You go to a place of, okay, wait a second. Number one, what is new and fun and energizing for me to do? Then the second piece is, well, what is working? Starting to build on new and interesting things that you can do with what is working. And finally, asking yourself the question, is this a blessing in disguise? Is this a blessing in disguise? Is this the opportunity to say no to people who this isn't right for and wish them well and be comfortable with that? Because you are coming from a place of abundance, that there are lots of people going through the transition that you're serving by serving your ideal member or the transition of your ideal member for whom you've created a paid membership or a course.

6:09Focus there. One of the sayings that we have here at Mighty is say no to say yes. If you are spending your time on people who your community is not right for, who are not your ideal members, or even potentially the people you thought were your ideal members and they're showing up and they're not into it, it's an opportunity to reframe and stop and say, what can I learn from this? What am I supposed to learn from this? The more that you stay in perfectionism, you stay in failure, the more that you stay in these stories that we tell ourselves, like people are just busy. Oh, I guess my ideal member is just too busy.

6:51They're unlike anybody else on the planet who is hungry for community today and finding people on the same path. They're not too busy. They're not any different. This is your opportunity. Your opportunity is to go deeper and stay curious. And most of all, if it's not quite working, go back and ask yourself the question, is my pitch one that I can give with confidence, even in those moments that I'm nervous, even in those moments where I'm not so sure that I should be doing this. You absolutely should be doing this because your ideal members need you to do this. They need your community to exist in the world and they are happy to pay you because people pay attention to what they pay for and people pay for progress.

7:44So you can invest in identifying and exploring and brainstorming and you can look at unsubscribes or cancellations as opportunities to learn, not more evidence of your failure because it's simply not true. You are not failing. You are on the path to success with people who need your community the most right now and creating the experiences and helping them build the relationships for your ideal member to navigate challenges to seize opportunities and ultimately create results and relationships that they simply did not think were possible when they started on the journey. I have just seen it so many times that I know it's gonna happen for you as well.

8:40I'm Gina, this is People Magic. Until next time.

8:54Thank you.