In short
Pitchside “BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 14” is a comedic Premier League predictions episode, framed as a “double game week” results recap followed by scoreline picks for upcoming matches.
Guests
no external guests; the hosts are Reeve, Thea Baker, and Tom Garrett, plus a recurring in-show character “the villain” (not a real guest).
Key claims
they’re trying to stay PG because YouTube has age-restricted/demonetised the prediction show; they announce sponsor Dabble (UK social sports betting) and push a code to get a £10 free bet.
Notable examples
results discussed include Brentford 3-1 Burnley, Man City 3-2 Leeds, Everton 4-1 Newcastle (they predicted 2-1 Newcastle), and Arsenal/ Chelsea ending 1-1. Predictions include Aston Villa 1-1 Arsenal, Chelsea 3-1 Bournemouth, Everton 2-1 (with a Sean Dyche “thoughts” bit), Man City 3-1 Sunderland, Newcastle 3-0 Burnley, Spurs 2-1 Brentford, Liverpool 2-1 Leeds, West Ham 2-1 (vs Bournemouth), Fulham 2-1 (vs someone), and Man United 3-1 Wolves.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOYouTube Restrictions and Behavior
0:19 to 2:02
Hosts discuss their YouTube restrictions and the need for PG behavior.
“Welcome back to the greatest show on earth.”
YouTube Restrictions and Behavior
3:02 to 3:41
Hosts discuss their YouTube restrictions and the need for PG behavior.
“They also have this really cool feature where you can rocket boost your odds.”
Match Predictions Recap
3:41 to 10:04
Hosts recap their predictions for recent matches and results.
“It feels weird doing it without being topless.”
Current Match Discussion
10:04 to 14:00
Hosts discuss upcoming matches and make predictions.
“Yeah, we just fucking, and if you don't like that then you would fucking suck on a pipe.”
Prediction for Aston Villa vs Arsenal
14:00 to 14:12
The hosts discuss their predictions for the upcoming match between Aston Villa and Arsenal.
“You lost, Admiral, so it's you to go first.”
Discussion on Chelsea's Performance
14:12 to 15:18
The conversation shifts to Chelsea's recent form and their upcoming match against Bournemouth.
“You to go first It is refreshing for me to be able to actually do A prediction on Aston Villa Because not only the villain's here Is he?”
Predictions for Bournemouth vs Chelsea
15:18 to 17:13
The hosts share their predictions for the Bournemouth vs Chelsea match, adding humor and banter.
“Fucking Chelsea Fucking Chelsea by a man Chelsea They're moving to the coast to play.”
Sean Dyche's Insights
17:13 to 19:35
The hosts impersonate Sean Dyche and discuss Everton's chances against their next opponent.
“What to do with Chelsea and Bournemouth?”
Predictions for Everton's Match
19:35 to 20:21
Continuing the discussion, the hosts predict Everton's match outcome.
“but I'm in the sport a while mate we're fucking proud of the Seagulls up mate and I think we're going to be alright mate Cheers Sean So the mighty toffees, my mighty fucking toffees.”
Humorous Football Banter
20:21 to 22:38
The conversation takes a comedic turn with playful banter and impersonations.
“You're goddamn right Why was Sean Dyche Australian Does anyone know?”
Show all 20 chapters
Analysis of City vs Sunderland
22:38 to 24:35
The hosts analyze and predict the outcome of the match between Manchester City and Sunderland.
“Sunshine I said maybe I don't really want to know how your big bush grows Cause I just want to fly Lately, did you ever feel the pain in the morning rain As he soaks you to the bone?”
Newcastle vs Burnley Predictions
24:35 to 26:54
The hosts provide predictions for the upcoming match between Newcastle and Burnley.
“Why do you need to see to give a score prediction?”
Closing Humor and Predictions
27:30 to 28:00
The hosts wrap up with humorous interactions and final predictions.
Introductory Banter
28:00 to 28:38
The hosts engage in a humorous and chaotic opening conversation.
“Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe in the air!”
London Derby Predictions
28:38 to 30:46
The hosts discuss and predict the outcomes of the London Derby and related matches.
“It's a fucking London Derby You Do you want me to do it No Have a fucking North London you can Demonetise me now YouTube What are you going to do Come and do it Got a gold medal.”
Liverpool vs. Leeds Prediction
30:46 to 32:38
The hosts make predictions for the Liverpool vs. Leeds match while maintaining a humorous tone.
“Badass Put a double on I am going to go with 2-1 Brentford You like that?”
Match Recaps and Scorelines
32:38 to 34:22
Discussion around various scores and match expectations, wrapped in humor.
“Well, it seems we have a snake in our midst.”
Fulham and West Ham Predictions
34:22 to 37:59
The hosts share their thoughts and predictions on Fulham and West Ham matches.
“What what I'm gonna pop some tags Johnny got$20 in my pocket.”
Final Match Predictions
37:59 to 40:38
The hosts conclude their predictions with a humorous take on final matches.
“No, this has got fucking one one written all over it.”
Betting Predictions and Results
42:00 to 42:48
Discussion about betting odds and predictions for the season.
“Guess what it returns on all my results?”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Welcome to a new episode of Pitchside with me, Reeve, Thea Baker and Tom Garrett. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap that button right now for new episodes every week? And if you want more Pitchside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where you can find us by typing in Pitchside. Let's get into it. Welcome back to the greatest show on earth. Hello, guys. I'm severely, severely hungover today, people. No, we're not allowed to say that. Why? I put poison into my body yesterday because we did the backside Christmas vlog. We can't do that. Why? YouTube are trying to take down the prediction show.
0:40We have grown too strong. They have demonetised us. Last week, they age-restricted us. This week could be the end of the channel and the show in its entirety. So we are being PG. We know you're watching YouTube and we are on our best behaviour.
0:57I put on my new shirt for this. So YouTube, I feel like we got done. Can I ask you a question? What reason do you think we were age-restricted for? You're looking kind of cute today, bro. I really scrubbed up. You're kind of looking scrubber-dub-dub. I scrubbed up because I don't want this show to get taken down. You look like Wolverine slash Frank Sinatra in his prime. Feet on the table. YouTube, that's not meant to offend you. Please let this video stay up. It's part of the culture. It's part of the culture of me bumming people. Bum me. Somebody bum me. Bum me. somebody bum me oh this one is going to be a fucking struggle today lads this is going to be fucking hard I mean really hard not sexual though YouTube so please don't come at us but we have an exciting announcement we have now got a sponsor a booyah a shooter so anyone who does love their football today's episode and future episodes are brought to you by Dabble.
2:03Yay! Dabble! It's the social sports book that's just launched here in the UK. They're an Aussie. They're an Aussie bookies. G'day to you. G'day. They've come in hot as well with a ridiculous offer. Yes. Just for Pitchside, haven't they, you jimp? Yeah. If you download Dabble and use code Pitchside, simple as that, you get£10 free bet. And I tell you what, Tom. Twist my nipples. Do you know why I love this? Somebody twist my nipples. But lads, honestly, just use code Pitchside, no spaces. You get a£10 free bet. It is as simple as that. And also, it's a lovely social betting app. You can copy your predictions.
2:38You can copy my predictions. Follow us on the app and make some money. Yeah, but yeah, it doesn't have to be football. It can be racing or use it for the racing. Whatever you fancy. Weekend hacker, first goal scorer, bet builder. Or you can use their Pick 'em bet feature, which you've been doing and losing on. Yeah, and you know nothing. And all that's covered by the free bet that you can get using promo code Pitchside. Pitchside! Pitchside! They also have this really cool feature where you can rocket boost your odds. Oh, that is actually unreal. Class, innit? It basically fires a rocket up and you can stop it at any point and get the boosted odds.
3:12But if you wait too long, it might blow up and you don't get them. If it crashes, then you only get like a small boost. But it's class, man. Yeah, I think Reeves did it the other day and he boosted his Aka from like 49 to 1 to like 60 to 1. Mine went from 89 to 95, but the max was 150. But anyway, in terms of dabble, make sure you are 18 and over. Please gamble aware. And enter the code PICTURE when you sign up. That is it. That is literally it. Full terms and conditions in the description below. But anyway, should we talk about you being a big fat loser? We can't, but okay. Let's get into the show.
3:44Big fat loser. Why am I a loser? We got the results. You won. It feels weird doing it without being topless. Can I just say? Get it off them. We're not allowed to. YouTube will come for me. Why not? They're going to come on you. Yeah. Right, I'll see you at the end of the show. No, no, we're not predicting yet. Sorry, Admiral. Yeah, so the double game week. Oh, also, the match day before, when we were waiting on the United-Everton result, you won that week. Did I? But then I've won the first game week of this. I don't know what we're doing. I honestly don't know what we're doing in general on this show.
4:18I can't remember what the score is, mate. Should we just both spin? Who's won and who's lost? Yeah, should we just fuck it off? Yeah, let's just fuck it off, eh? Shit.
4:31In. Okay. I've just come. You did get hammered though in the first game week. Ruben hammering.
4:43So, I mean, are we even going to go over the results? Yeah, let's do it. Should we do it? What do you think, Santa Claus? Of course, we'll have a look. What do you think, Santa Claus? It's the day of reckoning. And my bum hole is waiting for you.
5:02Brentford beat Burnley 3-1 I predicted 3-1 I think I mulliganed did you predict 3-1 for this what the fuck did I really god I am so cold I can't even remember what we did yo that's freaking that's freaking you're gnarly bro that's freaking dabble that's freaking dabble my G you should have had a dabble on that more zingers to come You should have dabbled. Fuck off, Sandler! So I had 2-0. You're going to give me an even bigger headache. You have to behave. You are on the wrong shore. If you think this is going to be quiet. This is a prediction show, mate. Okay, sorry, my bad. I did 2-0, which is still not that bad.
5:44Man City, though, they beat Leeds 3-2. I had... You said Leeds were going to win 3-0. That was a good one. Yeah, because you reverse mulliganed me. I don't remember that. Well, it says reverse mulligan right there. No. It doesn't. Oh, go play with your hair, you fucking nerd. I didn't realise we did that on this show. I thought we were like a team on this. But now you want to make it... Now you're trying to make it like a battle. Is it a one-on-one, bro? It's always been a one-on-one, bro. Are we going to go, bro? We can go wherever you want it to go, bro. I want to go to the bedroom of Fuck You Silly.
6:20Did you see what the... I mean, I'm not going to say his name, but... What the V was wearing last week. No. Did you not see the video? No. I don't watch it back. He was a no-show though, wasn't he? No, he was there last week. What was he wearing? A thong. Lads, have you not heard? What? The villain's written in. There's no way. He wouldn't show his face after last week. I've got it. Seriously. You can never show your face again, surely. After that embarrassment. He's obviously just gone into hiding. Maybe he's toying with us now. What have you got a boner? It's a postcard. No, you've also got a boner.
7:05Mate, it's a... I'm sorry. This guy has done things to me and my body responds in certain ways. What has he done to you? You know what he's done because you've done it as well.
7:20Let's have a look.
7:24Is that who I think it is? That is It's with him Maybe they're Maybe Maybe Joe Maybe Joe is the villain Could that be right? Well no he can't be But the villain's stalking him Maybe they're brothers Why would he send that postcard to us? I don't think he's stalking him They're obviously They're working in cahoots I noticed that Maybe this is Theo's plan To bring the prediction show down I noticed he's waist deep so you can't see if he's wearing Speedos. He wouldn't wear Speedos. It's a thong. Just swimming thong.
7:59Anyway, suddenly beat Bournemouth. I just feel like that's them. They're doing me heading, actually. They just keep fucking winning. You nervous for playing here in a few weeks? They're going to have all their players? They're not going to AFCON yet? Yeah, it's fine. We're going to beat them. Is he going to be horny? We're going to beat them. You're going to go? You're going to go to the game? No, I'm going to be stuck here with you. I mean if you could get a ticket I mean if I had a ticket I'd love to go would you love to go I'd love to go how much would you love it I'd fucking tons Stone Link YouTube's watch it
8:34idiot Everton lost to Newcastle 4-1 yeah that was a great result by mighty Newcastle I had 2-1 to Newcastle you had 2-1 Everton Spurs Fulham another correct score from me yeah you got that what a shout that is by the way 2-1 Fulham you just called say say well done well put your ear 2 up there well done well done no say look at me look me in the eyes and say it
9:10Crystal Palace Osterman United 2-1 another one we didn't get at all I'm surprised none of us went for United didn't I? We don't know fuck all do we? And then Villa Wolves I wasn't lucky with this I think because Wolves were the better team Yeah I had it right though with 3-0 You didn't have it right I got a point It's a point Yeah And then Forrest lost to Brighton None of us had that
9:34West Ham
9:38lost to Liverpool You said West Ham would win 3-0 Not your finest moment That wasn't great Well it was Admiral not me but I'm glad I didn't have a dabble on that one. So that made it 9-3 and then Chelsea 1-1. You went, we both went for 2-1. I reversed Mulligan's U to 2-1 Arsenal and I went 2-1 Chelsea and it ended 1-1. You were probably lucky with that but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Yeah, so I won 9-3 but obviously the week before you won. So we, you know what? We've just called a truce, guys. Yeah, we just fucking, and if you don't like that then you would fucking suck on a pipe. Lads, it's chill being.
10:13Look, recently, I'll be honest, I thought this was broken I think we've used all these so far So we do need a new We need a new spinaroonie Guys, someone take a photo of me and my friends
10:29Let me need a premiering man! Woo! Merry Christmas motherfuckers!
10:50No! That was not good for my head or hangover, but what I just witnessed was even worse. You're sick. What? That wasn't even the Admiral, by the way. You can't even blame the Admiral. I didn't do that. You're sick in the head, son. You're sick in the head, mate. Dude, we're going to have to cut that. Oh fuck off! What's the point of this show?
11:19Fuck off! I'm sick of -
11:25I wanna be back to normal! I don't like it like this! We're fucking -
11:52What the fuck is it? See you in a bit. Right. Right then, we're kicking it off with a half-twelve on a Saturday. I will be in London watching the Albion get three points at QPR. How do you feel about that? That's good.
12:13Oh my god the mouth breathing is the bit of the world one. Right. We're kicking it off with the Lee.
12:26Is he gonna pass out?
12:36Fucking hell! That's the maddest one yet. That's absolutely terrifying.
12:45Guys Right, we've got Hh-h�� we've got Aston Villa
13:04Fuck you No! Right. Well, as we know, there's a certain man we can't name. He's on holiday with Joella. So this week, it's just Aston Villa taking on... I can't see a fucking thing. They're taking on Arsenal.
13:28What are you fucking doing to me? I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it off.
13:43Oh my god.
13:53This is a fucking advert. Right, Villa are taking on the Gooners at Villa Park. You lost, Admiral, so it's you to go first. Where's your hat? Put your hat on. It's like a fucking Villa at home to Arsenal You to go first It is refreshing for me to be able to actually do A prediction on Aston Villa Because not only the villain's here Is he? How do you know? Because I blank out But how do you know who comes in? I know who comes in Because it's me Every time You look absolutely mental What do you mean? Oh, God. Sexy selfie. I'm going to say it's 1-1.
14:50Yeah, I don't mind that. Don't you mind about it? I think you're going to be... You know what? I'm going to go.
15:01I'm going to go 1-0 Villa Why? I don't know I do think this is the one that I feel like Arsenal are going to lose I feel like they kind of got A little bit exposed the weekend against Fucking Chelsea Fucking Chelsea you fucking Fucking Chelsea Fucking Chelsea by a man Chelsea They're moving to the coast to play. The naughty cherries. With at least nine of them in the stadium. All being raucous in the family section. Cheering the cherries on. The cherries, the cherries, come and pop my cherry. Come on, Tavernier, Semenyo, come and pop it.
15:54Fuck me! I'm Pete Burns! Who's that? I can't see, can I put my glasses on?
16:05Oh my ears are sellotaped in. Can you sellotaped your glasses on? Yeah. You're gonna have to sellotaped glasses on me.
16:21You might need a touch and lift up as well. So I'll take that down. Nice, thanks. I don't need looking silly. Yeah, you don't want to look stupid on the shirt, do you? Yeah, keep going. Oh, yeah. Now, put your glasses on. Okay. Don't make them wonky. No, I'm not going to make you look stupid, am I?
Read the full transcript
16:48Right then, so we've got the cherries. Cherry. Oh, oh, you're so fabulous. We eat cherries. Who popped your cherry? The villain.
17:05Oh, fucking Chelsea. Chelsea could be in a total race now. I think they are to be fair. Yeah. Do you want to see something? Go on. Do you want to see something as well? What's that? What to do with Chelsea and Bournemouth? You what? Shut the fuck up! Why the fuck are you getting involved over there, you smelly hound? Oh, you off. Honestly, there's something wrong with you, but I can't put my... I just can't pinpoint what is actually wrong with you. Right, Bournemouth. The cherries. The Naui cherries. We've all fucking seven of them. Oh, to Chelsea. Chelsea, we have pie and bash. Me to go first.
17:54Me to go first. Me to go first. Give me, give me, give me a man after midnight. I'm going to go with... 3-1, Chelsea. Why? Are you going to say why after every fucking game? There's not only a question you'd ask, isn't it? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why don't you let me splooge in your face? I do. You don't. You always go, no, it's too salty, stop. It's really wet around the cellar tape at the moment. Oh.
18:27That's actually such a good photo. Right then, what are you saying for Bournemouth Chels? Talk to me, darling. I've been keeping my eye on your movement. I can't see no room for improvement. When you're all over there on your Jack Jones, you need to let me get behind your backbone. Fucking hell, he's bleeding? No, he's not. He's just, he's been choking. he's been choking the chicken. I think it's going to be 2-1 Chelsea. 2-1. I think they're going to be good for them. We don't predict enough. 2-1s. So we've got the Sherwood Forests taking a trip to Merseyside. Stanley fucking Park. Spinning of the Blues.
19:11Actually, it's not Stanley Park anymore, is it? They're right by the fucking river. but thanks to Dabble they've pulled a few strings and we can actually have Sean Dyche's thoughts on the game this weekend Sean? It's a pleasure to be here mate Thank you for having me on the show mate Honestly, last time out against the Brighton Seagulls it won't give us up mate but I'm in the sport a while mate we're fucking proud of the Seagulls up mate and I think we're going to be alright mate Cheers Sean So the mighty toffees, my mighty fucking toffees. With Grealish, Juice Brill, N 'Jai. Ilyamal N 'Jai. Darkovsky.
19:55Michael Keane. Talk to me. Jordan Pickford. Jesse! Jesse! Ayo, Mr. White. Jesse! Ayo, Mr. White. Yo, Magnus, bitch. I don't know anything about that. Jesse! Jesse, you've done it again Say my name Everton are going to win this game 2-1 You're goddamn right Why was Sean Dyche Australian Does anyone know? I'm not sure Is he from Queensland? That was Burnley Who? That was Burnley That was a Burnley accent was it? Jesus, he's not from there either I think he's from Nottingham Is he not Scottish? No So you've gone from Australian to Burnley to, oh, is he not Scottish? I was actually wanting the right white.
20:51It's a sexy selfie.
20:56That can be on the wall after Sean Dyche wins a weekend. What are you going for? I'm going for two on everything. Talk to me, baby. Everton! You never shine so brightly. Everton! Spirit of the blues So get your coat on Get moving Cause we don't know the meaning of losing I'm not pulling your chicken
21:28That's too tough It's too tough lad Just chew it Yeah good boy That's a good boy Right give me a score prediction This is meant to be a serious show. I'm going to do Desmond Alfred Tutu. That's treacle, isn't it? Yeah, it could be. How about Lucifer 3-1? Lucifer. Is he the devil? You could be the devil. Why are you crying? Off mic. Off mic. Stop. Oh!
22:16Oh fuck I've just burst Spillage is lickage
22:26Jesse Jesse Jesse you're gonna get us demonetised
22:35Taking the shortish trip to fucking Sunshine I said maybe I don't really want to know how your big bush grows Cause I just want to fly Lately, did you ever feel the pain in the morning rain As he soaks you to the bone? Maybe I just want to fly Want to live and don't want to die Maybe I just want to breathe Maybe I just don't believe Little donkey, little donkey On a dusty road Gonna wait now till Lewis Fills me with his load Where did you get that? City versus Sunderland. It's you to throw first, mate.
23:51Is that City here?
23:56Attention! Attention! I am Senor Police Chief Yeti. I am a man who has recently moved into the local area. There is a man who was huffing... I'm biggie with fingers. Right, City, Sunderland. your favourite team in the whole wide world because that's where you're from. You're from there. You're from there.
24:22Put your hat on properly. There you go. I'm so happy to get you.
24:30Can you just give me a fucking scoreline? Please. I beg you. Is it on? Just give me a score. City against Sunderland. Oh, it's the time. It's the time. It's the time. I'm going to see.
24:55Can't see. Why do you need to see to give a score prediction? Yeti, that finger is so appealing for my bum bum. You want this in your mouth? Give me a scoreline, please. 3-1 Man City. Going against the Sunderland boys again. Is that a wise decision, Mr. Bowden? I just don't think the team are going to do it. I think Man City have got well only enough. They like scoring goals, but it's a way. So, it's something I'm going to play well. I'm going to go 2-2. I'm going to go with a Patricia 2-2.
25:41Fucking hell, this is too far today. Nah. I can't fucking breathe. Out of all the weeks, this is not the one that's gone too far. Finally scored so many goals. Mickey Crane scored so many goals because the fucking Italian is out of mine, out of mine. So it's Newcastle at home to Burnley. Oh, cheese, grommet. Cracking Wendleydale, grommet. Wendleydale. Now pull your fist out my arse. You're a dirty dog, aren't you? No, no, no. You're a dirty, dirty dog. Tom, Tom, Tom. You filthy fucking hound. No. Get in your kennel. No. Get in your kennel now. Tom. Do it. YouTube won't like this. Which bit, sorry?
26:26I think it's the glasses. They're going to demonetise us to do that. You're right, you're right. Yeah. How about this? Oh, you fucking filthy dog. Yeah. Yeah. Get that cheese. Rip it up. Lick it Spit on it That's fine Yeah Use code pitch side on Davil I'm saying Desmond 3-0 Newcastle Oh that's fucking horny I'm going to go 2-0 Toon Why? Spug on the time Is all mine All mine Can I take this off? Oh him What you want to take The cellotype off? Yeah I will allow it This is going to be good No, don't do it like that Oh my god It's not going to come off It will come off It's just going to hurt While you're watching this Make sure you download double and use the code pitchside For a free bet £10 in fact
27:30What have we done? We
27:39I feel so close to you right now. It's a force field. I don't get that bit off. I wear my heart upon my sleeve.
27:53Fuck. Why are you doing it like that? I can breathe. Breeee! AHHHHH! Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe in the air! My fucking heart is gonna pull my air up! What have we done? What do you mean, oui? I hate French! Viewers! Oh, you said French? Oh, oui oui! Oui oui! Oh, oh, oh! Sacre bleu! I'm ready to le brie!
28:31What do I do Anyway next up we got Fucking London Derby It's a fucking London Derby You
28:45Do you want me to do it No Have a fucking North London you can Demonetise me now YouTube What are you going to do Come and do it
28:59Got a gold medal.
29:05Oh, Jesus. Right, we got Spillies. Thomas Frank Spillies. Up against. It's the Buzzy Bees. You have a problem here. We? You keep saying we? Can I go put my head under the tap? What's that got to do with anything? I think I'll make it better What, to get it off? Aye Why would that help? That'll make it worse
29:39One sec I'm just going to give it a dab Hey I didn't mean to do that
29:47He's pulled all your hair out It'll come off Mate, I'm fucked it Fucks it At least it suits you. Right then, the fucking London Derby you c***. Reggie Lebris. I need a top door now otherwise I'm going to get demonetised. Je m 'appelle Reggie Lebris. Oh, that's a simple play. Cruelle de Ville. Cruelle de Ville. They play for Bournemouth. Right Spurs-Brandford, I think it's you to go first. Baldy Baldy, Baldy Baldy, over there What's it like to have no air? Don't miss the sentiment Fucking tubic tubic Is it hot or is it cold? I don't know Because I'm not bold Spurs versus Brentford It is next Big Ange versus Thomas Frank Thomas Frank derby I'm going to go Thomas the wank engine derby I'm going to go 1-1 Swivel on it Badass Put a double on I am going to go with 2-1 Brentford You like that?
30:54I love it I love a Patricia 2-1 What is it about? You love it? What's up with these feet? Shit on the bottom Actual shit? Yes No it's not Next up it is half seven The lose There's Liverpool It's GK Oh my god GK
31:222-1 Liverpool for me, please. Why? No, I'll go 3-1 actually. 3-3. Give me 3. Give me 3. He's our cut trick. He's our cut trick. Who's over there? Hey. Who's that over there? Hey. Who's that over there? You fuck bastard. You fuck bastard. Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? Let's go for a pie right now. The burgers and the fries. You fuck bastard. You fuck bastard. you gave me a cream pie. What's your scoreline, buddy? For this one, fucking who? Who cares? Which one are we looking at? You scroll past it. It's Leeds versus Liverpool. Liverpool! I'm actually scared. Liverpool! Liverpool! I am a boy in a man's body.
32:11Someone please Help me Fuck off Theo Fuck off I am a boy Who is a man 2-2
32:37Shit he's awake
32:43Well, it seems we have a snake in our midst.
33:07It's the villain siren. Oh! Right! Oh my golly giddy aunt! It's Brian! It's Brian! Shit. The singles! The singles are home! Squirker! Squirker! Against. Fucking where's the am you? You fucking Help you Stop it You You fucking You Fucking The sun's setting You You You fucking You Fucking Fucking F***ing hell you That was a close one there We almost lost him for good Friday to take him on West Ham What what what what What what what What what What what
34:34I'm gonna pop some tags Johnny got$20 in my pocket. Uh-oh, I'm on it. Looking for a comment. This is fucking awesome. Uh, it's Brian. It's the Seagulls at the Amex. Oh. We're naughty. I'm going to go for, uh, two, two, one, Brian. That's a rogue one, aren't they? Brian West Ham, come on. Give me your scoreline. You specky little fucker. I think it's probably going to be 2-1 to West Ham. Really? Yeah. They're good. No, they're not. My hair's nice. What makes you say they're good? They're back, Callum Wilson. Mate, I look like a 90s pop star. You look like Macklemore, as we've just established. I thought that was 50 Cent.
35:25What? Thrift shop? You thought that was Fiddy? That was Fiddy? You thought that was my man Fiddy? It was Fiddy and P Diddy. You kind of look like Gareth Gates with that haircut. Who's he? Is he another rapper? You know Gareth Gates? The one with the stutter from Pop Idol. Remember? Back in the day, like 2001. Him and Will Young battled it out and he won. Will Young was good. Ray? I'm gonna take this moment. Yeah? Make it last forever. I'm gonna take my heart away and pray we'll stay together. Cause you're the one good reason. You're the only girl that I need You're more beautiful than I have ever seen Oh yeah, I'm gonna take this night And make it evergreen Oh, it's a fucking London Derby, you Fucking Fucking Fucking
36:28You fucking... Fucking hell. Cockney. I know your address. I know what you're like. I'm going to find you. I don't want to kill you. Well, the South London Eagles are taking the flight across town. Across town. Wait, where? West or east? They're going west. Ah. Because you know who it is. Hey. We're Fulham. And we love the theatre. Can I be honest with you right now? Talk to me. You look fabulous.
37:01Fabulous. We love the cottage. The cottage is our home. Right next to the shitty Thames full of feces and dead bodies. But we don't mind because we've got a sharing platter. Let's go and watch Calvin Batty trying to keep his fucking shorts up all game. What are you doing? Where's the baby heads gone? Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater Where's the baby's head gone? We are Fulham And we are Fulham Fulham Showbiz Anyway It's you to strike I'm going to go with
37:502-1 to Fulham
37:58This has got one one written. No, this has got fucking one one written all over it. Put it down, you c***. You could call me a dinglehead. Is that like the words? No, not like a dingleberry. Is that the cow's penis? No, a dingleberry is when you get like pieces of like bum shit in your arse. Can humans get this? It's what? Yeah, it's human. I thought it was sheeps. no dingleberries what humans get you get them don't you remember that once that's what I tell people finally that's the fucking final game oh shit thankfully for you guys we're not done because we've got a one to watch and a golden result and I will be honest with you guys next episode we won't have filmed a drinking vlog the day before so we will we will be back better than ever My golden what the fuck is that?
38:51What is that? What is that? Is that the villains? Is that the villain suspenders? I just found these they must be the villains What the fuck that's so oh wait, that's so horny it these have been worn What does it smell like?
39:18That has to stay in. That has to stay in. That has to stay in. Right, my golden result is... Scroll up a little bit, please. Please.
39:34I'm going to golden result... I'm going to go Everton. Everton! And my one to watch is... I'm going to go Grealish. Grealish, eh? We're about to rob a bank, but like in a sassy, fabulous way. You're like French and Saunders, but if they go rogue and start fucking robbing banks, you c***. I'm going to go result Man City Sunderland. Oh, and who do you want to watch? My one to watch is Philip Forden. Oh, I like it. I like it. a lot. Guys, so I hope we've, we'll let you know if we made it through this episode without getting demonetised. This could be the final ever episode. We try to keep it PG, so YouTube, I know you're watching.
40:29Might never be back. You think you can try and tell us we can't do what we want? We'll do what we want right now. We almost forgot. Oh! Oh, shit. It's the Old Trafford Reds. That's something in me eye. Taking the short, well, it's not that short. It's about two, two and a half hour journey. down to the fucking kester bowl. The filthy pit of rats. It smells. It's full of ugly people. Naughty, horrible. They're taking on Wolfampton Wanderers. Because you know what they're doing, don't you? Prop, prop, prop it up the table. Prop, prop, prop it up the table. Do it, Santa.
41:11Oh, Holly! Hiya, Holly! Hiya! I'm going to go for Man United, three. Wolverhampton Wanderers, one. How about you, Wolverine? It does not look as cool as I thought. That was fucking terrible. They got me Reggie LeBuy. And I am from Paris. I'm going to say... You're the villain. 2-0 Man United. Well, that wraps up this game week anyway. Now, I've just had a little look on Dabble. An Acker. With all my fucking predictions, which we all know as the Oracle. No, mine's a bit better than yours. They're all going to land. Mine's better than yours. At the minute, right, have a look at this. A£10 bet. Guess what it returns on all my results?
42:06£1 ,000. £71 ,000. That is, as of now, the day of recording. This may change. the odds may get better. Who knows? They could get worse. We don't know. You can follow all my selections on Dabble. Tom Garrett 10. Pete Garrett 10. And they call me Lewis Borden. Mine's actually on there. It's actually the correct prediction as well. So copy my bet. What's your name, the villain? No, I'm called Lewis Borden. The villain. We don't say his name. You're the villain. This is a great thing with Dabble because you can copy our bets. You can choose your side. Team Jacob or Team Edward. Do you really want to copy that freak?
42:43I'm actually winning for this season. Fabulous. Fabulous. We'll see you next week. Dinner's served. You made it to the end. Well done, you. And if you haven't already, hit the follow button. Why not? Tap it right now for new episodes every week. And if you want to see more Pitchside, you can catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram by typing in Pitchside.
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