BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 15

0:00Welcome to a new episode of Pitchside with me, Reeve, Thea Baker and Tom Garrett. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap that button right now for new episodes every week? And if you want more Pitchside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where you can find us by typing in Pitchside. Let's get into it. Welcome back to the Greatest Show on Earth! Konnichiwa. Snow is falling. All around us. Children playing. Having fun. This the season. Love and understanding Merry Christmas Everyone I've got Santa's bush I'm Santa's naughty little helper today You look kind of big You look freaking You look like a freaking gnarly G What are you looking like today?

0:50Feliz Navidad He's put mousse in his hair No, it's not mousse It was Mousse Sea salt spray Salt separately Goodness fucketh me Anyway Anyway, anyone who loves their football. Dabble. Dabble, Dabble, Dabble. Dabble. I'm from Darlanda. This is Big Ange and I love Dabble. If you want this show to continue to exist, get involved with Dabble. Link is in the description. And plus, it is genuinely my favourite better app. You love it, but you never win. Yeah, I know, but it's more than just a better app. It's like, it's a social thing where you have group chats. You can have crack with yous back home.

1:27We have a pitch side channel for you to join. Also, you can copy out, but I mean, I don't think you'll want to, but you can copy our bets or copy other people's bets. There's tips on there. Look, if you use code pitchside, you get£10 completely free. You might as well have a look, can't you? I had a message from someone who said they won£150 from that£10 free bet. Really? He's already won more than I have with all the money I put on. That's ever though? Yeah, ever. That's all you've ever won on any betting app ever. Yeah, so look, it's fast, it's clean, it's social. Why not download Dabble? They're way better than other betting apps.

1:57Obviously, they're an Australian betting company, mate. And they're taking over the UK market. So yeah, make sure you just download Dabble, enter the code pitch sign. When you sign up, and you're off. 18 plus, gamblerware.org. Full terms and conditions in the description below. But my little prediction soldiers, we have two game weeks to catch up on. It's a busy festive period of football. Busy! Busy, busy, busy, busy. Busy, busy. Fuck off, Santa. Leave him alone. Turkey man alone. Don't touch the children. I know. Anyways, let's get on with the results. We've got two weeks of football. Let's do a quick rattle because we had Fulham and they were playing against Man City.

2:34No, that was your fault, Will. That was on you. We had the Cherry Cherries playing Everton and the score was 1-0 Everton. Booyah. Grealish. Come on. Yeah, we both predicted a draw. You won one. Myself, nil nil. This was for game week 14, of course. Fulham against Madfret, Madfret, Madfret. They won 5-4 away from home. Man City did. What game that was, by the way? Yeah, did not see that fucking coming at all. I predicted it. And Pep Guardiola did his normal thing where he really, weirdly, aggressively goes up to another team's player and starts doing shit to them. Who did he do that to? I can't remember.

3:12Who was it? That weren't that game. He started fondling someone. Wasn't that the Sunderland game? Now it's Fulham. He does it every game. It's weird. Anyway, it was 5-4 City. I predicted the win. You didn't. You went for a draw, mental. That's close. Then Newcastle drew with Spurs, which you goled and resulted, obviously a Newcastle win. I did get for a team win as well Yeah that was bad Then Arsenal Brentford Finished 2-0 to Arsenal We both got that right Oh hang on Oh I got the bang on score So that made it 4-1 to me Yeah Then Brighton played Villa It was a 2-2 It wasn't What was the score What have you done here You haven't even put the fucking Scores on Will So Villa won at Brighton 4-3 It was actually a really exciting game Lewis Did you watch it?

3:56Sorry what? We both went for draws So we were wrong Burnley Palace We both went for an away win It was an away win Wolves against Forest Ended 1-0 Hello Thank you Lewis said 2-0 I went for 1-0 Yeah, not good for me Honestly You went 8-2 up at this point 8-2 up Yeah We both went Oh no Also You claimed You called a Leeds win Yeah, do you know what happened? I called it on the stream But not in the predictions So yet again You're covering all bases No, you have to realise This was the Admiral I was on the stream you're a silly sausage you're talking to the admiral you're a silly silly sausage obviously Leeds won 3-1 we both went for Chelsea wins Liverpool drew with Sunderland what are you laughing that?

4:43Sunderland they're fucking class nah they're fucking shit Liverpool are just really bad what do you expect when you have a fucking Alexander Isaac the rat twat up front sorry anyway that's day at 8-2 then Man United West Ham finished 1-1 Yeah Yeah Finish 1-1 We both Oh you went for a draw actually So that made it 8-3 Respectable scoreline To me And my One to watch Was also Harland Yours was Barnes Which was mental Yeah Barnes have been Going good though Yeah so overall That makes it 6-6 But quite key On your one to watch You've used Harland Already Yeah but it worked Yeah but you can't use it For the rest of the season now brother Yeah man I'm gonna come back round Harland's been shit lately anyway That's the good stuff, that Is it?

5:28Next game week, though, was 15 And Aston Villa 15? 15? Aston Villa beat Arsenal 2-1

5:39Fucking shit You predicted a draw? I don't remember that That was the admiral Also, I saw some of the comments Oh, he always predicts Arsenal to lose I was right Yeah Why not? If you strike lightning enough times Sometimes it's going to hit there No, if you stand in Hawaii for long enough you will get hit by the fork. You stink. Put your arm down. Yeah, so that made it 1-0 to me. We both predicted a Chelsea win. They drew away at Bournemouth. Snooze there. I'm snoozing. I'm snoozing after my Christmas dinner. That's shit. What did you think of that, Santa? Leave. Santa. Go on, let him speak. I'm fucking so...

6:27Santa This is one of the most sick Santas we've had yet Oh that's the bell

6:37Everton beat Forest 3-0 I went for Everton home win You went for a draw Men feel that you think Doish can do anything there Because they are fucking poo poo That made it 2-0 to me City won at home 3-0 I went for a draw The downfall begun What? The downfall has begun Began or begun? Begin Pardon? It begin. Okay. The downfall did begin. That made it 3-2 to me. Then we both went for a Newcastle win at home to Burnley. That made it 4-3 to me. Spurs-Brentford. You went for a draw. I went for a Brentford win. So, nil poit to both of us. Thomas Frank, he's back. Thomas Frank. He's back. You can. He's back.

7:15Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That made it 4-3. And then Leeds drew with Liverpool, which you actually called. Did I? I don't remember you saying that. I'm great on leads right now. You went for an older Patricia Tutu. That made it 4-4. Well, fucking scroll down! Mate, Brighton and Drew with West Ham 1-1, which we both got wrong because you said a 2-1 away when I said a 2-1 home win. You probably should have won that because their goal was number one bullshit. And then that made it 4-4 going into the final game. No, it wasn't the final game, sorry. Palace beat Fulham 2-1. You went for a home win, I went for a draw.

8:04So it's still 4-4. Yeah. Then Wolves. Bapping up the table. Got absolutely hammered at home for Man United. We both went for a way win, which made it 5-5. However, our ones to watch this weekend were, for me, Super Jack. And then Lewis went for Phil Foden. Meaning Lewis won 6-5. I hear voices in my head. They understand. They talk to me. They talk to me You're so scared of falling You've pubed, man Please, is that a good idea with your knee? Which means it's one game week One each The current score is 7-6 to Lewis So we're going to have to We're going to have to do a forfeit each But I'm going to be honest with you This hasn't been updated And we've done all the forfeits So we're going to have to decide a forfeit each.

9:18I know, something we can both do. That's not a forfeit though. Oh, fuck.

9:26Okay. I think... Will, what do you reckon? Give us a forfeit each. How about... One back slap each. I've got no top on. It's your own fault. I don't like that forfeit. You don't like any forfeit? shave our beards right now. You don't have a beard. Yeah, I do. That's not a beard. A goatee. Fine, we both shaved the centre bit. That would look mint. More than chops. Has anyone ever had that? Has anyone ever in the history of mankind ever done that? I don't know what we fucking do. I reckon we do... Backslaps. Backslaps. One backslap each. I've got no top on. Put some over the back then, quickly. Oh, fucking fam.

10:08You bet me as well, because otherwise I'm just going to... You go first. Tommy, you can take your top off. Oh. No, you can. There you go. Oh, hello sailor. I feel muscle. Tense up top. I'm lifting my arm. Don't tense it. Open the crevice. Just do it. Oh, that was shit. I was trying to get technique. I didn't want to go fucking through. This is why I wanted to go second. Don't be nasty. Don't be nasty. it's just crazy ahhhh think of the children think of the children ahhhh ahhhh stop it ahhhh fuck that was too hard sorry ahhhh still hurts fuck you ahhhh NOTHING KIDS turn around oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh, I should have done a double sign.

11:15Should have done a double sign. That was nice on yours. Right, should we get mine up? That was nice on yours. I just went for like, you know, mine's barely even a sign. Did you see one? No, it was just, yeah, a little bit. It was just a nice little tap yours. Right, show me on the camera.

11:35I'll go red easy, to be fair. See? Look at that I bet he touched you You're a bully mate You're a fucking bully Anyway So you're 7 '6 up mate How do you feel? Randy Well I need to thank the Admiral really He's been doing a fucking great job at it Right well All that out of the way I guess it's Time to do it You all ready? I'm ready Yeah cool Cleaver Yeah you good Right I think we Think we're good to go guys Let's predict the Premier League, man!

12:18Merry Christmas, bitch!

12:28Right then! Moving on to game week. What is it? 16. Look, just a quick FYI. We're under strict orders this week to not ruin the set. So, oh, do you know what? They're trying to fucking hold us down. We were being too successful too fucking quickly. Did that hurt? Spicy, like. Why are you all red on the front? Why? I don't know. It looks like you're coming out in a rash, genuinely. Maybe I'm allergic to Christmas. Yeah, they're trying to fucking hold us down. First, I can't have my nipples out. Sorry, YouTube. Then we're not allowed to swear. Then we'll say an a**. Then we're not allowed to touch a set.

13:07What are we fucking supposed to do here? You're trying to make us into fucking Sky Sports. Yeah. You're better than all of them. Why do you keep telling him not to f***ing Scott? So stupid. Anyway, first game of the weekend is... Fucking Chelsea. Chelsea. Blue is the colour. Football is the game. I can't see. I need to tick these off. Oh, no, but you're looking super duper cool with them, ombre. These are producer Will's glasses, so take good care of them.

13:40Chelsea taking on Everton You never shone so brightly So get your coat on Get moving Cause we don't know winning or losing So come on, come on Get down to Goodison Park Woo! Everton You never shine so brightly. Everton!

14:15Right, wait a minute. Will's actually asked me to surprise you with a present. Oh yes! Hang on.

14:26What are you doing in my lap? What are you doing in my lap?

14:44You said it's from the villain?

14:48What's he done? Burn! Look. That's not him, is it? Yeah. You can't say that. You can't say that. If you say it three times, you're a bitch. That means... How old is the V? How old is the... Let's just pretend... Let's just pretend that never happened. I think he's getting closer to us. Let's pretend that never happened. Anyway, it's me to throw, considering I lost the last one, right? Yeah, deal? I've got... Look. Oh, we're there, Tom. Have a good show, mate. I'll see you in a bit, mate. Mate? We ain't mates. Oh! Oh, you're right? How are you, Admiral? How are you doing? Nice to see you, man. You look really, really, really shit.

15:40Yeah, I don't know what the specky one's been doing with your body. Yeah, it's not good. I thought he's doing 75 beats, man. Right, Chelsea, I've been a Chelsea stink at the minute, and my toffees are fucking unreal. So I'm going to go with a 2-1 away win. A way win is a ballsy move at the World Champions Ground off Stamford Bridge. I am a ballsy guy. Well, I would argue you have went with an outrageous score there. Well, we never predict two ones. It is 2-2 from me. It's a clear patch for 2-2. Oh, Patricia 2-2? Yeah, I'm sorry, Patricia 2-2 for this one. That's freaking gnarly, my dude. I just think Everton are good, but Chelsea are on off, but I reckon they'll be on for this.

16:20Is my logic. They're going to be turned on? Well, who would you not? Jack Reelish running at you with those legs. What? He's your fucking prick. and I don't play football and it doesn't work out and I paid 120, 50 million for Titus Bramble up front. What do you think, Carragher? Leave the football before the football leaves you. He's a disgrace to my grey club. No! Stop it right there! I'm Mo Salah

17:03just to specify you can't cancel him for that you can't cancel him for that this is safe this is so safe carry on Mo hi guys hi guys Mo Salah here not really happy with how the football's going at the moment and I feel like I've been thrown under the bus leave the football before the football leaves you I appreciate that Jamie Carragher as Mo Salah I understand your relationship with the club but I don't like you very much and that is the end of our Mo Salah segment and they're taking on oh it's the seagulls oh oh oh oh where the no that's a Christmas turkey my friend it's a fucking seagull mate what happened to a seagull when you took the feathers off Dies You know what it looks like Have you never Have you never plucked a seagull I fucked a seagull But I'm just I'm just the admiral Do you know who else Is going to fuck a seagull Who Liverpool this weekend Lovely Zynga That's it my dude Liverpool are going to You take it first Liverpool

18:21I'm not as strong as I thought imagine I just bit his head off that would have been so cool that would have been so give us a prediction I think Liverpool are really shit at football and Isaac still looked really bad in the Champions League, dropped a 6.2 rein actually an improvement for him do you know what the thing is? it actually is, do you know what's interesting about Liverpool now? I'm seeing Liverpool fan pages talking about the Isaac situation, it's amazing and also they're getting their own taste of free Salah. They were doing the whole free exact thing. So karma is a beautiful thing and I hope it continues to be absolutely shit for them.

19:02That's a great anecdote, but just give me a score. I think they'll draw 2-2. Another Patricia? Patricia's. Patricia's a **** so she comes out loads. You know it. You introduced us. No comment. Absolutely no comment. Are the Liverpool going to win this 2-0? who's going to score Izak and Eketika you think they play Izak and Eketika up front again you took Izak off early so I imagine he's only going to play only him up front is my theory I think I think his new I think his new tactic now is to play two up front I think it works better they won last night well that's what we were going to do and then they fucking nicked them how'll that work out they're above yeah not for long not for long it can nah I see the logic a general part of me he said 2-2 by the way I'm okay with Liverpool winning as long as Zizac doesn't score because I do kind of want Arnie Sloat to put on over on Salah because Salah's been a little baby twat.

19:57Yeah, I do. I can't believe there's actually people out there who kind of agree with Salah. He's a prick. I'm going to have a little rant on this and I know this is not a fucking prediction show talking about football. If anyone agrees with the way Salah has dealt with this situation or similarly when Ronaldo come out and did that interview and stuff like that. And if you find a way to defend those players, you've never stepped foot in a football stadium in your life and that's a fact and I don't give a fuck if you don't agree with that I know I'm right because even Omri said it last night the amount of times he had arguments with managers, staff, all this and didn't agree with stuff the club was doing you never go out publicly and throw your fellow teammates or your club under the bus the club that pays you and employs you fucking put up and shut up and deal with it internally you're a bitch if you do that publicly alright anyway sorry for being too serious are you okay Mo?

20:50Mohamed Salah here I feel like that's a bit out of order I think you're a bitch and that was the end of our Mohamed Salah skit I agree I think he's a prick and I'm glad that Liverpool fans midweek of Champions League were chanting Arnie Slot yeah I agree fucking hold that Salah putting your little fucking by the way putting your little Instagram post on of you in the gym by yourself look at me you attention seeking little swag Yeah Fucking grow up Yeah I've never been more On Carragher's side And it's weird that I'm fighting For Liverpool here Because I can't stand them But it is what they deserve But Sal is a prick Carragher was right Yeah It's done Yeah And up next It is Fucking Burn From Varmer's Land Jeremy Clarkson Old cheese grommet You're from Burn I'll shoot you with me Peek on your wee Little fucking Can't say that word Can I We're Fulham And we love the panto

21:56He's behind you I know I love it

22:05No that's fucking disgusting Why are you doing scouse What do the Do you do Wallace and Gromit Jeez Jeez. That's fucking disgusting. Doing Scouts again. Fucking... What did he do in the pression? Fucking Burnley. Fucking Burnley. That's fucking disgusting. You're doing Scouts again. Burn. Just a proper... Like proper northern... Emmerdale. Emmerdale. Scout is not fucking Brookside.

22:41Every accent he can only do. Scouts or Australian? A shit Australian? Fucking do, lally. Right, Burnley, Fulham, what were you saying? That's me to go first. I think Burnley win this. Why? I just think... I don't think Burnley are that bad. I think Fulham away from Homer. Poo-wee. Poo-wee. I'm going to go with... I'm going to go 1-0. Burnley. Burnley. I'm glad you're supporting my lads out there. I work hard on the farms all week. That's better. That's better. And I just love going down to the pub and just talking. And we talk about farming. Yeah, you've ruined it. Okay. I think it's going to be...

23:23You said 1-1? 1-0. 1-1 for me. It's an Arthur 1-1. Also, just a quick one. As it's Christmas. Christmas time. Mistletoe and wine. Children singing Christian rhymes. We have said to each other privately, you know, when we pillow talk, that we're going to give each other an extra Christmas special reverse mulligan. So at home for the game of the weekend, I do believe we've got the gooners. Bobby's been a good elf. If the glove does not fit, you must acquit. Bobby's going to goon you. You fucking ho! You fucking ho! You fucking whacked you off, Toby! Toby loves the gooners! Fuck! Fuck!

24:29Yes! Oh, fuck!

24:42imagine imagine imagine if you ever ever had to go for a job interview what what's wrong about what we're doing they're doing Also, gooning isn't getting a facial That was Dobby Dobby loves the gooners, guys Dobby's a big gooner And thanks for that, Dobby The gooners are at home at the Emirates too Are we mo-it? Are we mo-it? Are we mo-it? Yeah! Oh my god