In short
A “Premier League Predictions” bonus episode (EP. 20) where Tommy G, Lewis B, Gaz, and Specs review recent results, settle a running score/forfeit, then predict multiple upcoming Premier League matches using comedic sketches and fan/guest interruptions.
Guests
No named sports guests appear in the transcript. There is a “resident leader of the West Ham supporters group” who argues Sunderland vs West Ham predictions. There’s also a “number one fan” from Brentford (Tom, dressed as a bee). For Arsenal vs Man United, a person claims to be David Beckham (presented as an “exclusive” guest) but it’s comedic.
Key claims & notable examples
Man United beat Man City 2-0; Chelsea beat Brentford 2-0; Leeds’ run is “unbelievable”; Sunderland beat West Ham 3-0 (fictionalized as a discussion). Predictions include: Man City 3-1 Wolves; Liverpool 3-1 Bournemouth; Brentford 2-0; Crystal Palace vs Chelsea 1-1 or 2-1 Chelsea; Newcastle vs Aston Villa 2-1 Newcastle; Arsenal vs Man United 3-1 Arsenal or 2-1 United; Everton vs Leeds 1-1.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VODiscussion on Predictions and Audience Engagement
0:45 to 2:39
The hosts engage in light banter and discuss the audience's presence while explaining the show's focus on predictions.
“Our favourite audience members just turned up.”
Premier League Game Predictions
2:39 to 6:25
Hosts make predictions for upcoming Premier League matches, discussing team performances and past results.
“And please gamble responsibly at begamblerware.org.”
Continued Predictions and Banter
6:25 to 14:00
The hosts continue discussing match predictions, sharing personal anecdotes and engaging in humorous exchanges.
“I make a wish that I can have a big stinking mud pie tonight.”
Cottage Rivalry: Fulham vs. Brighton
14:00 to 15:01
Discussing the upcoming match between Fulham and Brighton and player performances.
“In my Kensington Palace, I like it to be clean.”
Man City vs. Wolverines: A Tough Contest
15:01 to 17:06
Analyzing the match between Man City and Wolverines, discussing team performances.
“They've got a big police presence at this game.”
Wolverines' Mood Swing: Community Representation
17:06 to 19:47
Reflecting on the Wolverines' recent form and the emotional impact of football.
“and this fucking pains me to say it, the team they're playing are probably the best team in the world at the minute.”
The Cherries vs. Liverpool: Peace Offering
19:47 to 23:16
Offering a humorous truce between Bournemouth fans and discussing their match with Liverpool.
“Shut the fuck up Will Will You speak When we allow you to speak Not when spoken to.”
Liverpool's Draw and Bournemouth's Struggles
23:16 to 25:00
Analyzing Liverpool's recent performance and Bournemouth's challenges in the league.
“Newcastle no the shittiest team in the league Wolves no Sunland no I'm amazed Sunderland was your third pick though.”
Brentford vs. Nottingham Forest: Buzzing Energy
25:00 to 28:00
Discussing Brentford's surge towards Champions League and their upcoming match.
“See, you've got the munchies now because you've been blazing.”
London Derby Predictions: Palace vs. Chelsea
28:00 to 29:59
The hosts discuss the upcoming match between Crystal Palace and Chelsea, analyzing team performance and making predictions.
“I think this is really, really, really tough to call and it's Utica first.”
Show all 14 chapters
Lewis Bowden Derby: Newcastle vs. Aston Villa
30:00 to 33:14
The conversation shifts to the predicted outcome of Newcastle's match against Aston Villa, highlighting team form and player performance.
“Right, next up, we've got the Lewis Bowden derby.”
Arsenal vs. Manchester United: High Stakes Showdown
33:15 to 36:50
The hosts delve into the critical match between Arsenal and Manchester United, with insights into both teams' current situations and humorous banter.
“There's no way You're this chill Like Naturally Is it just the gange That does this to you, villain?”
Final Match Predictions: Everton vs. Leeds
37:59 to 42:01
The hosts wrap up the show by analyzing the match-up between Everton and Leeds, providing insights and predictions for the game.
“because we do actually have CCTV footage.”
Everton vs Leeds Match Predictions
42:01 to 43:30
The hosts discuss their predictions and thoughts on the Everton vs Leeds match.
“Somebody's been in my room taking my beers.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Welcome back to the greatest show on earth! Konnichiwa It is I Tommy G Konnichiwa It is you Lewis B And together We are Gaz and Specs What are you trying to do? I was seeing what you could come up with Gaz and Specs? No, that was terrible Okay, good morning everyone And afternoon to you in Australia Have you been? I don't care I don't think in our relationship You've never ever asked me that question What? How have you been? You've never said that to me ever. Albinia. Albinia lads. No. Boing, boing, boing. Welcome back to the Prediction Show where we talk about football predictions and we talk about many things and we do funny sketches for you back home.
0:44No, we don't. No, we don't. We do. Whoa. Whoa, it's the big show. Our favourite audience members just turned up. Guys, no one at the fellow studios are allowed to be in the audience, so we get the tech guy in. No, we handpick the audience because I'll be honest with you, things get cut. And the things that get cut could get us killed and arrested. But it's worth every moment for you. Have you downloaded Dabble? Dabble! Oh, honey, honey. I had a great idea. Have you seen that thing for Dr. Pepper where it's like the woman on TikTok made a jingle for it? You mean Dr. Pepper? What's the worst that could happen?
1:25No. No, I don't mean that. A girl basically made... That's the Dr. Pepper offer. No, a girl made... She was lying in bed. She said, I got a brand new jingle idea. and Dr Pepper actually made it a jingle. So I think we do one for Dabble. Okay. Dabble, do, do, do, do, do, do. Ah, honey, honey. Do, do, do, do, do, do. No, all money, money. Ah, shalom. Guys, Dabble is great. It's a fantastic bet on that, but it's social as well. You have group chats, banter chats with us, pitch side boys. Yeah, Louis spends his life in there because he's got no friends. But obviously if you use the code pitch side, you can get£10 free if you bet£10.
1:59Yeah, so just use your 10 and put it on any sport you want. That could be football. you like the football I like the racing so I put it on the racing because yeah and then and once you put that on Dabble are going to give you £10 completely for free and like I say you can comment on the bets that put on you can copy other people's bets you can copy mine because you don't want to fucking copy us he's a fucking idiot so look if you fancy a bet this weekend my lovely people at home make it a smarter one download Dabble use the code Pitchside Bet£10, you're going to get£10 completely free. You do need to be 18 or over.
2:35It's new customers only. T's and C's do apply. And please gamble responsibly at begamblerware.org. Let's review the Premier League, man. Woo-hoo! Again, me and Lewis have not been keeping... We need to decide a forfeit before we look through. Because we actually, we genuinely don't know who... We haven't been keeping up with who wins. Will's been giving us a forfeit. We ate worms. Yeah, but we haven't got anything this week. So I think we do backslaps. backslap. No, we've already done that and you hit me way too hard. Why can't we just grow up? Why can't we all just grow the fuck up? How about no?
3:10Next time we have a bit more of an outlay costume, they have to wear it when we have the more sexual costumes. How about this? Next time we get to the pub, the loser has to wear the high heel boots. No, I do me angle. All you back on, fuck off. Let's find out who won. Yeah, right. So first game of the weekend. It was as Cal Frizi would say. a howler no no no it was a stanker get on the fucking floor now stay down stay down this is what I want oh he's there actually oh my god that's fucking weird hi hi yeah Man United beat Man City 2-0 a bit of a turner for the books burger are we finished with Cal Frizi do you want to see my Cal Frizi impression yeah that's your Cole Palmer one in it burger I actually had a howler fucking I actually thought he was in the room then.
4:01Shall I be Chip? Yeah, fucking hell, lad. All right, lad. Anyway, Man United beat Man City 2-0. We both predicted a way win, so that's 0-0. Chelsea beat Brentford 2-0. Neither has predicted a Chelsea win either, so it's still 0-0. Lewis did predict a 2-1 Leeds win. My dad, watch me play! 1-0, 2-1. You could call it Tom. You can't be crazy here, guys. And strap your seatbelt on. You could say Leeds are having an unbelievable run. I think they're having a good run An unbelievable run I would say it's good Das ist gut ja I think Right so that's 1-0 to Lewis Liverpool was 1-1 with Burnley Burnley We both predicted home wins So that stays 1-0 to the chimp That's good Then Oh shit now Oh baby Five solid men My boys My beautiful My beautiful red and white boys My black cats They got lucky.
4:59The lovely Mackhams won 2-1. And I predicted 2-1. You yet again predicted something not to win. It's getting embarrassing, bud. Not me. It's the Admiral. Sorry, yeah. So that makes it 3-1 to me with a correct score. Oh, my giddy heart. Fucking hell. And also, I predicted 2-1 West Ham. And it ended 2-1 West Ham and Spurs in the London Derby. I just thought that was the most obvious result ever. Yeah, yeah. Well, in hindsight, yeah. Frank Thomas is goragoo, blood. Yeah, well, he had him on the show and he was a fucking meltdown of a fucking performance on the prediction show. Does that make sense?
5:36No. So that makes it 6-1. Yeah. 6-1 going into the Forest-Arsenal game, which we both predicted an away win. I went for a golden result away win. Oh, that's such a cum shot. So it stays 6-1.
5:54Another golden result from Lewis and another 0-0. The Dingles drew at home to... That was a bad result, wasn't it, bud? Yeah, it wasn't good. I said 3-0 golden as well. So that's a stinker. Stay 6-1. And then Brighton drew with Bournemouth 1-1. We both predicted home wins. I mean, the ones to watch don't even matter. I mean, Sam Johnson didn't play, but if he did, you would have won. I don't know what happened. I don't know why I picked one to watch. Yeah. And anyway, so that means I win 6-1, which means the overall score is... Make a wish. It's 11-11. I make a wish that I can have a big stinking mud pie tonight.
6:36Anyway! You ready? I think we're good to go. I mean, I've just had an energy drink. Will? Fuck you. Connor, you alright? Yeah, good? Yeah. Alright, I think we're good to go.
7:01Let me do the baby leg man!
7:09Fucking hell! Oh my god! That is fucking everywhere! Why didn't you just tip it on your head? You told me to do this! Oh Lewis, it's fucking everywhere! You absolute child. He told me to do it. What did you expect? You know, no. Well, it's the same thing. Uh, I apologize to whoever's got to clean that up. Oh my God. You are, mate. He told me to do it. Stop blaming Will. It's time to take accountability for your actions, Lewis.
7:53Guys, this is my Tim Robinson impression. Who's Tim Robinson? I don't know, I'm stealing his floor. Who is he? Big stinking bud pie. You fucking say, you c***. Oh, shit, who's this? You fucking say. Where's Tom gone? Fucking GSE, you c***. What the fuck is happening? What's happening? Fucking read you little I'll give you a fucking Chelsea small you little
8:36He's got fucking Stone Island guys on so he's serious that I can No, I'm with me girlfriend. I can't be getting into fights Let's not take the piss here, I mean. West Ham are playing Sunderland. You f***ed. Yeah, a lot of bleeps happening right now. Sunderland have started off their season with a 3-0 home win over West Ham. You think you're f***ing tough? That was out of order. West Ham are the best teams. You think you're f***ing tough?
9:03Irons.
9:10So we do have the resident leader of the West Ham supporters group here in here. He's also a member from Green Street.
9:19Fucking hell. How do you think the game's going to go? Fucking shat it, you little... Okay, standard West Ham. Fucking shat your fucking mouth, you fucking little... Jesus Christ. I don't know how to react to this. It's actually very similar to Tom Garrett. Right, Sunderland starting off the season with a 3-0 home win against West Ham, which I think you predicted West Ham to win because you said, oh, Sunderland, they're not going to be good enough for the big boy league. They're not going to be fucking good enough. Still a lot of the season left. Oh, it hurts! Still a lot of the season left. You're actually 11 on points with them now.
9:47How do you feel about that? We're in the Champions League. Not for long. We're actually going to win the Champions League? Have we got a shot on that? We haven't got a shot on this. We're going to have to zoom in. A shot on what? Sorry, I just want to make sure that we got that covered. Right, what do you predict, Mr. West Ham? Standard West Ham. Shut it! Okay. You little slag! James Corden, Gavin and Stacey. James Corden. Pies and leek sauce. He's a fucking fat... Does he not like James Corden? Who do West Ham fans like? Bubbles. Bubbles. Paolo de Canio. Paolo de Canio. But he played for... It's a Paolo de Canio derby.
10:29Yeah, he actually is. He managed Sunderland, didn't he? Do you remember when he knees slid at the senior sportsman and they beat you 3-0? No. Oh, yeah, because you were a Middlesbrough fan then. I believe, I do believe... I think Sunderland win this 2-1. I think West Ham win this 2-1. Do you really believe that? They'd just be top... Wait. Who's predicting this right now? Wait a minute. See you later, lads. Oh. You look like the fucking... The guy from Pirates of the Caribbean. Good, eh? I did have a small cameo on that, yes. I was in the background. Shalom. No, the one on the Davy Jones' boat.
11:10Yeah. Looks like he's half dead. Yeah. You can do stuff with a tentacle. His skin looks like bubble wrap, that guy. Bubble wrap skin. Yeah, that's about right. I'm thinking 2-1 West Ham. Really? Yeah. I'm going to go 2-1. Suleman. Well, we'll have to agree to degree. Look at that. It's a rice crispy. Right, moving on. It's raining Coco Pops. We've got Burnley up against the Lily Whites, the North London Whites. I think both of them are as shit as each other here. Burnley Spurs. They're not that bad at home, in fairness. But their last league win came back. It didn't come back in April. Come shot.
11:51Will, stupid Will, said their last win came back in April, but that isn't true. It was October. Fucking well. What a silly sausage over there. Yeah, they beat the Dingles 3-2 at Molineux. I mean, who the fuck ain't beat Wolves at Molineux this season? The Dingle Berries. Who hasn't won at Wolves this season, really? Well, fucking everyone, except Newcastle. I am going second So do you go first Yeah but Spurs have just won Two league games In 13 In their last 13 They are shit That means they're bound to win Really though Yeah Frank may not even be in charge For this game But he may be in charge We don't know guys Because we record this Promptly for you And we don't know We can't predict the future Actually we do predict the future Look at the Rice Krispie That's exactly It's not a Rice Krispie Stop calling it that Burnley are going to win This 2-1 Burnley Burnway That is ballsy We're going to agree What do you think You think Spurs win this I think it's a draw I think Burnley specialise in draws It's going to be 1-1 I nearly went 1-1 I can't lie Yeah I think that's the easiest To predict result of the old thing Charge it to the game Yo Hey Hey Do you remember Do you remember blazing up on that Yeah I blazed this morning Picture me this morning Stop blazing on them POV Me this morning
13:14Fuck off Charlie
13:19No
13:24No b**** in the blazer.
13:32I don't know why I find that so funny. Right. Moving on. Oh, my fucking giddy arm. TikTok. No, but I can't. The shit you take is too strong. Nah, it's a stinging Roger anyways. That sounds like a sex position. Stinging Roger. Oh, Marky DR, it's Fulham against Brighton! Put those fucking DR UGS down. I'm not fucking tripping.
14:06It's the Cottagers. We love the theatre. And they're up against Brighton. And we are fabulous. We are fabulous. We are fabulous. You've just treaded in it all. And you know what I'm like? In my Kensington Palace, I like it to be clean. Oh, darling, you look just unreal. Oh, stop it, auntie. No, you, stop it, you bitch. Stop it, you whore. You absolute slag. I love going down by the river and having some plushotto. Oh, you fucking little bitch. I hope you die, you slag. You look amazing. That's what they do, they insult each other. But it's in a cute way. So it's like... You fucking whorebag. You cum-shotting whore bag.
14:50You slag. You look amazing, doll.
14:56Fabulous. Right, this is probably... This is a bit of a battle. They've got a big police presence at this game. Battle of the cum-shot, the cottage. I would love to settle down in a cottage. Oh, my fucking God, Patricia. Darling, it would be fabulous. Right, it's 11th v 12th. Yet. They are just five and six points from Liverpool in the top four. So, mate, my cottages are making a second season push.
15:30Harry Wilson didn't score last week, so he's out of form. But friend of the show. Wilson! Friend of the show? Friend of the show? Is he friend of the show? Come on. It's you. Hi, Harry. Harry. Harry. Fulham's lost to Leeds was their first in six league games because as we established last week since I've been wearing my Fulham hat and cheering the cottages on they're the best team in the world yeah yeah yeah it's you to go first here I think this is Brighton are such a weird they're both weird teams very weird teams Fulham are very purple patchy and Brighton are just very inconsistent it's hard to go to the cottage if you don't have the keys I'm saying 2-1 Fulham if you ain't got a cheese board you ain't coming in unless you have some crackers Too wonderful Fuck A Cleopatra I'm going to go What is Rice Krispie?
16:24You throw like a snowman I'm being bright I'm going to go for a Patricia Tutu Patricia Who? Well she's the one who had the surgery No that was No Patricia had it too That was Leslie Yeah Leslie convinced Patricia She showed you They do a good job She is a doll And it looks beautiful Right, next up, this should, should, surely, surely, surely. Don't call me Shirley. Surely to God, this is a home run for the citizens, Man City, in the sunshine.
17:00I really, really hope this is a Reuben Ameren, but I'm really unsure because at the minute, and this fucking pains me to say it, the team they're playing are probably the best team in the world at the minute. they're like unbeaten in the whole of 2026 it's the Wolverines we're playing really well I'm really surprised I'm genuinely honestly the rest of the time on this show I actually want to apologise I was so stressed I was so stressed and all I could do was aww so it was oh so that was like your it's like a defence mechanism I'm so sorry honestly I hear people seeing that side of me but now we're playing better maybe that that answers a lot then because I've always thought Wolverines were very aggressive, angry people.
17:46Honestly. But it really is mood dependent. Do not blame you for thinking that because I did a bad way of representing my community. You have represented the community poorly I must admit. But honestly but now all the Wolverines were doing so good. You've even shaved down your claws. Yeah well I've just realised this is way too vicious. Yeah.
18:07It's not a wig.
18:13Is that a wig? Off my... Bald and wolves. They're the ones that get kicked out of the pack. You're like the runt of the litter. If they find out, they're going to kick me out. Sorry, I won't bring it up there. Don't bring it up. So, how are you feeling about the Wolverines run of form then? You're literally unreal. Really good question. Thank you very much for asking. It's not a wig. I'm really confident with Strand Larson. Really? He's not even playing. Yeah, I'm confident that he's going to get sold because he's shit. But we have Marnie in there Who's looking absolutely brilliant By the way I saw a video about someone saying this Marnie chant Right He's in your head First of all They've copied Albion Second of all The reason they've copied Albion We started that chant Because Molumby Who we sing it about Is actually Irish So the song makes sense Because it's a Cranberry song Called Zombie Which you all know he's in your head.
19:11It's a fucking Irish chant about like against the British and like the soldiers protecting the land. Not about a fucking kid you saw him from Rochdale you thick dingle fuckers. Excuse me can you not talk about the Wolverines like that because I don't want to go back but I will defend my people. Do you remember how you said your mood is dependent on your football team and how they're doing? Yes. I understand. Yeah. I understand. I'm angry at the minute. this isn't a wig but your hair is brilliant so you are more than welcome at the dingleberries anytime you want I will never step foot in that custard bowl ever again unless it's to get in get my three points and fuck off home sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry anyway can I do a shout out Cleopatra I hope you're watching darling I love you so much I'll see you soon yeah you've not heard you've not heard she's been ripped to shreds mate
20:11Do you sign a prank? Our heads fell off
20:17A Kodiak bear Some are saying The bears And also all your kids are dead as well It's not a wig though I've just seen a bear out in the corridor He's crying He kept saying that It's not a wig It's not a wig It weren't a bear The bear's the murderer He might have been crying about a bear Is a wookie a bear? I don't know Is a bear a wookie? He kept crying about And he said I don't have a wig I don't have a wig But it was definitely a wig It's not a wig It's not a wig Right The Dingles take the trip up to Man City Fucking mad for it Is it me to go first, Will? Shut the fuck up Will Will You speak When we allow you to speak Not when spoken to.
21:08Not when spoken to. I will speak to you and then say. Then he'll say it. You can now talk. That's how it works, Will. That's how it works, Will. You may talk for four seconds. Go. Plead the... What is it? Plead the... We just mocked him. You just got mocked, bro. You're a big stinking cum shot. Oh, we mocked him, Kurt.
21:36right it's me to go first Man City gonna smash Wolves 3-1 thank you golden result stop blazing we're working
Read the full transcript
21:542-0 Man City okay that's the Wolverines doing but on to the next game we have the cherries It's the cherries! The cherries! No. And they're against... Wait, they're not witches. It's fucking Liverpool! You stop it, dear! And you stop it! Anyway, I, Bournemouth, cherries. Let's make a truce. Cherries on my lips, cherries in my eyes. All 16 of you. Look, marching on together. Let's make a truce. That's Leeds. That's Leeds. All 16 of them? No. Marching. Marching on together. On together. Just shush. I'm making a job. Look off mic. I'm trying to fucking plead the fifth here. Trying to talk to my cherries.
22:43And you're ruining it. You're ruining it. Look at my lips. You're ruining it. Yeah. Right. Let's all just settle down here. I know a few years ago I said I'd never make another video if Bournemouth stayed up. And they stayed up. Played you like a fiddle, by the way. so look Bournemouth have kindly sent this shirt because I've come here to say shalom peace and love can we all please get along and obviously there is only 17 here so we could all go out for a beer can we just stop they don't they don't drink beer sorry we could all go out for an IPA cider no that's like Bristol here is my offer to you if you win this weekend against Liverpool I will personally never take the piss out of your fan base again we needn't take the piss stop eating you fat little pig deal or no deal you be the answer there's only 18 well 19 at a push so I reckon 3 may watch this show so all 3 of you get in the comments let me know if that's a deal but if you lose I get to be even worse what do you think of this score?
24:04it's you to go first Liverpool's draw with Burnley by the way meant they were unbeaten in 12 but they have drawn their last four in the league Bournemouth have won Tika's looking good yeah he did actually play really well the weekend but Bournemouth have only won one of their last 13 guess who that was against? Newcastle no the shittiest team in the league Wolves no Sunland no I'm amazed Sunderland was your third pick though. That's a bit of Freudian slip there, boys. Hey, yeah, man. West Ham? Spurs, fuck me. I can't keep doing this game with you, you fucking idiot. So what do you think?
24:423-1 Liverpool. Liverpool! We have a river in our city. Do they? Yeah. The Merseytown. I thought they were just on the sea. It's the Merseyside. Yeah, but... Yeah, all right. You fucking idiot. Stop. See, you've got the munchies now because you've been blazing. I blaze. You used to blaze. Ew. We should blaze with Bournemouth. Should we get that going? Blaze with... Hashtag blaze with Bournemouth. Hashtag blaze with Bournemouth. Get it trending. We're going to go to Bournemouth. And blaze. We're going to go to the stadium and we're going to go POV, or said Bournemouth. Hooray, we scored! Class. Go, Krupy Junior, go!
25:29Type. Yeah, thanks for clarifying. Are we going to go for Patricia Tutu? Simon would agree. Patricia is a filthy... No, I have to say I am buzzing about this next fixture. The mighty Brentford on a surge... Do I have to do this? Where, where, where, where, where? On the surge for Champions League and they're against the trees of Nottingham Forest and we have the number one fan from the Buzzy Bees.
26:00Tom, just want to say I love your enthusiasm. I love it. This can't go in. Are you buzzing? I like your ears. This cannot go in. Can you say, give us a buzz buzz. This is ridiculous. Say buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. This is meant to be like a... Oh, come on, honey.
26:23I'm nearly 30 I've always wanted to ask a bee this Is it true that you're too fat to fly But you do it anyways because you don't know That is not the thing You're referring to You know you buzzy bee Can I just clarify I was forced into this He came here dressed like this Honestly There's unknown fat guys Tom this whole time has actually been a bee He flies into the studio gets changed And flies back out Right, let's just predict the score. Guys, take a screenshot of Tom right now and make it into any cute sort of like template photo and tweet it to pitch side tweets. Make it really cute and adorable.
27:02Maybe give him a nickname like Tommy the baby. Tommy, you're my baby. What do you think, Buzzy B? Do it in a buzz noise. Talk like this because you're a B. Talk like this, you Buzzy B. You have to do your B voice We can't move on Until you do your B voice You have to do No You can't keep trying to force me You've already forced me Into the outfit I'm not being forced Into fucking impressions Every week I actually want to do A serious show Where we predict the scores I just talk like this Buzzer D 2-0 Brentford I can't understand you Fuck off Please talk like a B Please talk like D-0 Brentford
27:50I can't keep doing that Put your fucking hat on What the fuck They're going to think You're a human It fell off You're a fucking Look at his ears They're so cute I'm going to say 2-1 Brentford
28:05Next up we've got A fucking London derby South London against West London Fucking naughty proper fucking nutty we have got you actually look like you've just been releasing Wandsworth with that fit oh my favourite prison Palace are taking on Chelsea at Sellers Park Palace a bit under fire at the minute Glasner's are not happy they've just lost Gay here well because are they slip and sliding down the league Lewis no you've got to think genuinely okay so Rosania he's coming he's the manager thank you for that that is men who are aging Chelsea meanwhile have won their first league game under Liam Rosinha yeah or Roar senior because his dad was called no you can't do it two weeks running you're not you were expecting another clap then he was weren't you yeah it went down so well last time first time was so nice I had to do it twice anyway previous to that they just won one of their last eight league games, Chelsea.
29:11I think this is really, really, really tough to call and it's Utica first. I feel like Palace are just kind of coasting through until Glasner's going now. He's not doing very good at the moment. Yeah, but Chelsea aren't great. Yeah, but they have good players. They do have better players. But it's a fucking landing down. They've also been playing with Legos. They've been using... That's apparently bullshit. They've been washing their hands. I've got my sources. Come on. Yeah. They've been washing their hands though. I used to sleep with Maresca. Did you? Mm. Mm. Thought so. I am going to say...
29:44I'm going to say... I'm going to go out there. We don't normally pull out this result. I'm going to say... You're already out there? 2-1 to Chelsea. That's annoying. I was going to go there. Yeah, but I went there first. So, and that's how the game works. I go first. You can't do it. I'm going to go 1-0 Chelsea. Oh, yeah. I went there. You fucking... You fucking cum shot. Right. No, sorry. I'll go 1-1. Whoa. I'm going to go for a draw. Palace, tough place to go, mate. You can't do that. I can do what the fuck I want, son. Right, next up, we've got the Lewis Bowden derby. This one is actually...
30:20This is tasty. This might be game of the weekend. We have got the Toon Toon Black and White Army, the horrible, horrible Mags. Sunder fans, you know what I mean, right? Sorry, I was just seeing what was going on over there. Newcastle's draw at Wolves meant they're now unbeaten in four. They're on a good little run. Volta Marder has just three goals in his past 19 games, though. Because he doesn't shoot. Because he's a big, stiff idiot. Villa are seven points off the top now, having lost to Everton on Sunday. That was a poor performance, actually, from Everton. And Arsenal, obviously, drawing at Forest.
30:56Oh, what the heck? My name is Harvey Barnes. Named after my father and his father before him. Heard of my name Leader of the Newcastle line-up That's not true though His dad's his mum His dad's his mum What are you talking like a bee? Many have come past me Not many have succeeded And I sentence you To conceding goals
31:31That was perfect That was a bit like Harvey Barnes the weekend against the Wolves, wasn't it? So as we've seen, Harvey Barnes is a bit gun-shy, but Newcastle, if you haven't clocked on who the team is, are at home to Aston Villa.
31:53I'm the villain's grandad.
32:01Thanks for having me on the show, mate. I'm really happy to get on here. I've seen young... Young villain? I've seen young villain on here, and it's looking like a great laugh. It's a great thing you've got going on here, lad. It's a great thing you've got going on here. Why are you so chill, bro? My villain days are past me now. It's a family business, but sometimes... Did you start the family business? It started, you know. I got annoyed. I went to work, and your boss was a dickhead. Between you and me, He didn't like that I did the ganj You blazed up at work So I start being the villain Why are bosses Why can't bosses just be more chill, Kurt?
32:40Do you mind if I stalk up right now? No, you can blaze right here Oh, my G, my G Yes, my G Thank you, Kurt
32:49I've seen the villain Is he round here? I haven't seen him in a while Can you do the rings? He's went a bit rogue now What's that? Can you do the rings?
33:00Yeah, young villain I haven't seen him in a few years He's went a bit rogue I'm a bit worried about him He looks like he's going off the real I tell you what He keeps talking He keeps ringing me saying Dad, it's about the family business It's about the family We need to take over And I'm like Son, what's the family business? I used to be a carpenter There's no way You're this chill Like Naturally Is it just the gange That does this to you, villain? It's the gange I murdered 30 kids before I took the gange It was a sloth house. You also look like a very experienced blazer-upper. Yeah, it was really...
33:33It's really... What's your favourite strain? Mary Beth. The purple reindeer. Oh, right. Purple reindeer. Damn. The circular hole. Oh, are these sex moves? Black death. Oh, fucking hell. By the way, black death. All me. All me. All me. Never get the credit. And also, Jack the Ripper. That was my son. That was my son. He was here last week, wasn't he? How old are you? Jack the Ripper was like the 1700s, wasn't he? We don't die. We don't die. You don't know anything. You know what I mean? He's like the 16th century Jack the Ripper. Jack the Ripper, but it never used to be called... It never used to be called the Ripper.
34:14He used to be called... The villain.
34:20It wasn't good for Martston. What do you think the score is going to be? I know it's me to go first I believe Newcastle are going to win this 2-1
34:31yeah I think that's a good job you're struggling with that yeah it's strong shit you're struggling with that is it strong shit yeah it's strong shit Newcastle need to get a win Aston Villa really good I'm going to say it 2-2 Patricia next up oh my god what it's a derby well it's not a derby I've just lied I've just lied to you all and I apologise. I feel like I passed out there, but there's no splooge. It was just... I just... You've been lighting up, my G. Sometimes I blaze, bruh. Continue. Sometimes I blaze, bruh. Who'd you blaze with? You didn't blaze with me. Hey, Kerr. You didn't steal my supply.
35:08Did you steal my fucking supply? You infiltrated the D and you find the supply. You don't fucking steal my supply. Forget about it, Kerr. Kerr. Right, Arsenal. Say less, man. Right, one of the biggest games in England up next. We've got Arsenal Man United. The prime time game on Sunday afternoon. we'll probably be blazing up there and watch the game and you know what I mean you know how it goes my G's yeah it could Arsenal taking on mate Michael Carrick's Man United Gunners drew the Gunners drew 0-0 at Forest it does leave them 7 points clear of City and Villa they've won the league yeah they've won the league it's a bit annoying even when Arsenal drop points the others fucking lose even when we lose we win that is literally Arsenal's motto suffering from fucking success my G's suffering suck-a-tash suck-a-tash suck-a-tash it is mad and Man United have big problems they're club legend in hot water at the moment Mr.
35:56Beckham himself obviously we've all seen the breaking news this week the family split between David Beckham and his son Manhattan and we now actually have a very rare exclusive on the show David Beckham friend of the show has agreed to come into studio thank you David very much for coming in I'm not happy what's going on Beckham break it down for us I love Brooklyn I love him. Yeah. Me and Victoria, Manchester United. Yeah. I love him. What has happened to cause this split? I mean, we've seen Brooklyn. He was calling your wife. Some pretty nasty names. I need to talk to my son. But I have got a code for you all.
36:42Code Beckham at checkout for Stella Artois. Okay? You can get 15 % off. Now, he says I'm a seller. I'm not a seller. I love my son. I love him But I have got another code for you Hugo Boss Use code Beckham 20 % off I love my family I fucking love him That's touching It's really touching And honestly If you have one message for Brooklyn Can you please look Down the camera right now And address Brooklyn Beckham He's watching He's listening He needs his father Use code Beckham at Zara To get 25 % off I love my family I love him Now there is one thing It's slightly awkward It is another exclusive Me and Victoria it's all about family it's all about family but Brooklyn claimed that your wife I love my other daughter Cleopatra I love my daughter I love my other son Roger my other son Cruz because I love P &O and you can get 25 % off of P &O cruises using code Beckham right I can see where Brooklyn's coming from a little bit now he claimed that Victoria dressed inappropriately and also danced inappropriately at the wedding.
37:50Is this true? I don't believe any of this. But if you do want to do that, use code BECKHAM at checkout and summers for 25 % off. I want to let you know we're going to find out because we do actually have CCTV footage. You can't fucking do that. CCTV footage of his first dance. You can't. And we're going to find out here. Roll the tape.
38:26Come on, everybody.
38:34Tixit, are you there? Yeah. Right, I believe, I do believe that we will win. I think this could be a little bit of a tricky one. I can see United getting something. Also, don't look great at the minute. United are like, I think it depends how they start. trajectory I think it depends on the start if they start with a bit of momentum then the fans are in the game and everything what percentage chance do you give Man United going there and winning 30 30? I'll give them 30 that's quite high it is isn't it probably probably too high isn't it probably probably 20 % actually so what percent do you give the draw 7 you think there's less chance they draw than win there's going to be yeah there's going to be a win here for someone it's you to go first anyway I mean, Arsenal are fucking...
39:19They're unbeaten at home in the league. Yeah, 3-1 Arsenal. 3-1 Arsenal. Okay. I'm going to go... I went ballsy there. I'm going to go... My logic is, I don't think they're going to be defensively solid enough to withstand the powers that be. But Arsenal haven't been great in front of goal lately. I know, but I also think... Especially if that donkey plays up front. What I see coming is, Man United try and counter, they lose the ball on the counter, they get recounted. the double counter. Oh, yeah, that double counter that often happens. Yeah, it does in this game. So you've gone 3-1. I'm going to go...
39:59I've got a really, really, really sneaky feeling United win this. Do it then, you sneaky devil. You did it with West Ham. 2-1 United. Oh, you are fucking crazy. I actually am. I think it's that strain, that black death. Yeah, the black death. I wasn't there for that I don't know what you're talking about
40:22The devil It's the red devil That's what the devil does The mocking hand Have I ever told Have I told you about this actually That's That's an interrogation technique The police use you know Right final game of the weekend It's Everton You never shine so brightly Everton Spirit of the Blues
40:56My beautiful toffees are at home Which they're not very good at home at the minute They're only good away from home Which makes me think they might come unstuck here But they're taking on Here we go, we're legionated We are the old boys' hands. Sing for Leeds' and Angels! We are the lucky rocker. We are the lucky rocker. Lucky lucker. Yeah, we are the lucky rocker. Are you having a stroke? Yeah, you can't yell. I feel like this may be like blasphemous towards the Yorkshire Police Department. Hey, you are coming at me. I got the handcuffs. You listening to me? You coming to the list? Hey, we good.
41:54We good. We do cheese. How about fucking Ozzy Osbourne? It's not too much a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. Somebody's been in my room taking my beers. Are we playing? Who's the bear thief? You! You're the bear thief! We need to bring Sharon Osborne on. Sharon! But yeah, it's Everton Leeds. Probably, unpopular opinion, probably my two favourite teams in the league other than Spurs. Two proper clubs going at it. Can you just stop for one second? Thank you. Because it's like a fucking bee. I've been doing stunts. Rhymes is stunned. Everton have won just one of their last five home league games.
42:40As I said, they're shit away from home. Leeds got their first clean sheet since August. Were you happy about that?
42:48What's the action other than someone from outer space? I'm taking inspiration from Hot Fuzz, the farmer. Which we've established last week is Somerset. Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? Leeds is not the countryside. It's a city. It can sound like this in Leeds. It can. Yeah, if you're like a crack addict. Yeah, well, that's what I'm playing. So you're a crack addict police officer. I'm not actually a police officer. So what you're doing right now is illegal. You're impersonating a police officer. You know this is going on Delhi. Right, Everton Leeds, it's you to go first.
43:23Let me know what you think. In English. In English. Oh, you fucker. That's what I was going to say.
43:35I'll go 1-1 Rachel 1-1 Put it on No Are you golden result in? Oh my god In English You're golden result in Leeds Hey Hey And who do you want to watch? Let me guess Don't get Calvin Phillips Don't get What? Don't get Is that meant to be Dominic Calvert-Lewin? Aye. Give me Bruno Fernandes. There's my one to watch. And there we have it. Me and the man I've just found on the street who's had a stroke. Thank you for tuning in. Make sure you like, subscribe, comment your predictions for the week. We will unfortunately see you next week. Hopefully PCplod. I've had a massive mud pie. Bye.
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