In short
This bonus episode is a Premier League predictions show (EP. 22) focused on “double game week” fixtures. Hosts argue about results, keep a running score, and assign “golden results” and “player to watch” bets, with forfeit “ear flicks” when someone loses. They also mock Newcastle, Arsenal, and Wolves’ form, and repeatedly reference injuries (e.g., Erling Haaland being injured) and a “reserve” rule for unavailable players.
Guests
no named guests appear; it’s a studio panel of the hosts (Brian, Lewis, Tom, and others referenced by first name like Patricia, plus “friend of the show” Liam Rosinha). Pep Guardiola appears briefly as a skit/impersonation.
Key claims/examples
Arsenal win 4-0 vs Leeds; Man United beat Fulham 3-2; Chelsea beat West Ham 1-0/2-0; Liverpool beat Newcastle 4-1; Brighton vs Palace predicted 1-1/3-1; Man City vs Fulham predicted 2-1/3-1; Wolves are “dead and buried” (predicted 1-1 vs Forest).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VODiscussing Double Game Week
1:20 to 2:15
The hosts talk about the implications of the double game week for predictions.
“And then I know that means they haven't fucking watched the entirety of this one because we've done it, you fucking dickheads.”
Match Predictions: Game Reviews
2:15 to 5:05
Hosts review and predict outcomes of recent and upcoming football matches.
“Man United, Fulham though, different gravy.”
Controversial Predictions and Banter
5:05 to 6:10
The hosts engage in humorous banter while discussing their predictions.
“So it's 8-5 going into the Sunderland-Burnley game, but it doesn't matter.”
Team Analysis and Player Performance
6:10 to 12:20
In-depth analysis of team performances and key players in the league.
“I really don't get what he means by the stunts.”
Final Predictions and Wrap-Up
12:20 to 14:01
Hosts make their final predictions and conclude the episode.
“I'm the villain's Dad I'm the villain Oh, next up, your two favourite teams.”
Burnley Home Form Analysis
14:12 to 17:28
Analyzing Burnley's home form and their recent performance against top teams.
“I think that's not a bad prediction but I think they will score they are better at home in fairness to them right boys the biggest game of the weekend is the we have Clarita Blue you fucking c**t Oh, fuck.”
Cottages and Jellied Eels
17:29 to 20:06
A light-hearted discussion about local food and the hosts' cottages.
“just name them Liverpool they lost to Liverpool no they didn't they lost at home home to Liverpool.”
Fulham's Recent Signings
20:07 to 23:14
Discussion on Fulham's recent signings and their chances in the league.
“It's giving a 3-2 loss away at Man United at the last minute, you fucking bitch.”
Wolves Predictions and Current Form
23:15 to 25:31
Analyzing Wolves' current form and predicting their upcoming match.
“Go to Chelsea Wait, what's Rossini doing?”
Newcastle vs Brentford Match Preview
25:32 to 27:58
Previewing the match between Newcastle and Brentford, discussing team performance.
“Newcastle have dropped 16 points from winning positions this season.”
Show all 25 chapters
Brighton vs Palace Derby Discussion
27:59 to 29:42
A humorous take on the Brighton vs Palace derby and its significance.
Liverpool vs Manchester City Preview
29:43 to 30:24
A lively preview of the upcoming match between Liverpool and Manchester City, including recent performance insights.
“Liverpool ended their five-game winless run, of course, against fucking Newcastle 4-1.”
Mock Interview with Pep Guardiola
30:25 to 31:44
A comedic segment featuring a mock interview with Pep Guardiola, filled with banter and absurd exchanges about his team's performance.
“At this point, you're not actually spitting, mate.”
Ones to Watch and Game Predictions
31:45 to 32:41
The hosts share their predictions for the match outcomes and highlight players to watch for the upcoming game week.
“Well, I'm a very good boy, but that's irrelevant to what you're saying.”
Chelsea vs Leeds Match Preview
32:42 to 34:16
A discussion on the Chelsea vs Leeds match, including team form and predictions from the hosts.
“Yeah, we're going to have to speed run this Spice because we're all fucking sick of this shit.”
Everton vs Bournemouth Insights
34:17 to 35:38
The hosts analyze the upcoming match between Everton and Bournemouth, discussing team form and match predictions.
“And then he's going to do Semenuel's backflip, but this time he'll actually land it.”
Spurs vs Newcastle Preview
35:39 to 36:58
A discussion filled with humor and tension as the hosts share their thoughts on the Spurs vs Newcastle match and their predictions.
“West Ham's win over Sunderland was their first at home for five games.”
West Ham vs Manchester United Expectations
36:59 to 37:42
The hosts discuss the upcoming game between West Ham and Manchester United, sharing their predictions and thoughts on team performance.
“which means old Frank of all he's going to be chopping his pubes off their hair, sorry is he the lad I've seen the toilets before?”
Aston Villa vs Brighton Match Thoughts
37:43 to 39:06
A humorous exchange regarding the Aston Villa vs Brighton match, with the hosts making their predictions.
“We don't predict many 2-1s on this show.”
Crystal Palace vs Burnley Predictions
39:07 to 40:26
The hosts discuss the upcoming match between Crystal Palace and Burnley, making bold predictions for the outcome.
“You're half the world away I've been lost, I've been found But I don't feel down Lewis didn't know any of them words It's shitty!”
Final Match Predictions and Wrap-up
40:27 to 42:00
The hosts wrap up the episode by making final predictions for unresolved matches and discussing overall team performances.
“Yeah, I just think City will have too much for them.”
Sunderland vs Liverpool Prediction
42:00 to 42:44
The hosts discuss the upcoming match between Sunderland and Liverpool, analyzing both teams' performances.
“yeah because Wolves are shit really really?”
London Derby Preview
42:44 to 43:31
The conversation shifts to an upcoming London derby, with predictions for Brentford vs Arsenal.
“Another game on Thursday It's a fucking London derby Yeah but it's like a fucking shit one Like with the buzzy knees What's wrong with that?”
Player Watch and Predictions
43:31 to 44:15
Hosts share their views on standout players and score predictions for the upcoming games.
“Throw away the key and tell your barber.”
Closing Remarks and Farewell
44:15 to 44:43
The hosts wrap up the episode with final thoughts and a call to engage with the audience.
“Igor I'm going to go and resolve My name is Igor Jesus, and I sent...”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Welcome back to the motherfrickin greatest show on earth my G's Dabble do do do do do do Oh money money Do do do do do Do an advert with that song now Yeah Don't watch this Watch that I've got it the wrong way around I have no idea what you've just done Madness Don't watch that Watch this Our house No Look if you want to download Dabble First of all do it right this second Use code Pitch I'm not talking until you download it. Yeah, yeah. I need to talk. If you bet£10 using the code Pitchside, you're going to get£10 completely free. It's as simple as that. Any sport you want, that could be football.
0:43That could be darts. That could be tennis. It's all happening inside a proper social app. You can see what other people are backing, like me, like Lewis. Lewis has had a few good winners. I've had a couple of winner dinners. But yeah, bet£10, get£10 free. And also, if you join with code Pitchside, you have a chance of winning£100 free, just dropping into your account once a week. Not every week It is every week Every Tuesday actually To be specific Yeah You only have 7 days to use it So use it Use it Use it Have a look now and use it Use it Use it Use it Use it Look it's 18 plus And new customers only T's and C's do apply Please gamble responsibly At bgamblerware.org I've got terrible news It's fucking double game week Why is that Why is that terrible It's just fucking What is wrong with your attitude Even they don't like The double game week Because they They fucking don't know What they're doing They message me when it's like the game week where we've already recorded it and they're like, where's the prediction show?
1:35And then I know that means they haven't fucking watched the entirety of this one because we've done it, you fucking dickheads. The reason it's a double game week is because it's midweek. So they're not going to miss a Friday show. It's still going to be at one... Midweek? Are you thick? Yes. By the way, established law of this show is I don't have brain cells. So the reason we're doing a double game week, there's games the weekend and then games in the week. that's a double game week the prediction show goes out on Friday so there's two games for the teams coming up after the Friday and then the next Friday we will record again for the next weekend for a single game week that's class well make sure to subscribe wow what a CTA that is but again I have no idea about the results of this I can't remember anything I said I think this week we need a forfeit three ear flicks alright we have just agreed that there's going to be three air flicks right so the first game was Brian Everton and Lewis predicted 1-1 it was yes come on grow up oh I was close when I won it really well you weren't because you were goal off 3-0 to me next scoreline please Leeds vs Arsenal and we both went for a draw yeah Arsenal won 4-0 Tom said 2-2 I said 1-1 Patricia yeah Patricia was out and she says Wolves lost to Balmer 2-0 you picked up a point there two points actually because you golden result you went for a draw yeah I thought Wolves were back hey by the way wowzer Rooney
3:15right Chelsea playing West Ham I went with 1-0 you went with 2-0 we both get that right so that's 4-3 to Lewis this is kind of tight my G that doesn't make oh yeah it does make sense next up Liverpool Newcastle always letting me down do you know what right I've seen a comment and I agree with it I'm actually winning overall in all these scores despite having Newcastle as top of the league and Sunderland like relegation flat 20th so I'm literally handicapped myself but I'm still beating yeah okay and at the same time I always predict Arsenal not to win and they're top of the league not me too you don't I do prove it no there you go he obviously predicted Newcastle to win I went for Liverpool wins that's 4-4 we both went for Villa to beat Brentford and they lost.
3:58Man United, Fulham though, different gravy. 3-2 to Man United. I said 2-0. Tom said 2-1, so 5-5. Fucking hell, this is tight as... By the way, before we carry on, can you remember who your player to watch was? Harland? Was it? Because mine was injured. Oh, well that's good news for me. I feel like we have to have a rule about that. Well, we didn't have it coming into it, so I'm going to just take the win there. You said anticipate injuries? No, definitely not. I'm getting the... I can't help you. I can't help you. It's a look of the draw, I think in future we should put a reserve forward. I think just look of the draw.
4:34It's going to happen to me one day. Choose a better player who's not going to have like an injury. Oh, right, yeah. Next up, Forrest versus Palace with 1-1. Yes! Come on! 1-1 to the fucking beast, man! Please, Maestro General! 8-5 to the Bulldog. But then it was Spurs, Man City, which ended 2-2. I golden result 3-0 Man City here. You said 2-1 and nothing going there. Oh! And then Sunderland-Burnley are yet to play. So it's 8-5 going into the Sunderland-Burnley game, but it doesn't matter. Yeah, because even if you get the correct score and I'm wrong, I get Haaland-Golden-1 to watch. So that means I'm four points clear at the top.
5:17Ear flicks, bitch!
5:32Thank you, because I don't want your scaly hands near me.
5:43Bend over. Bend over. Just do it. Bend over. I can't. I'm sat down. How can I bend over?
5:56does that give you a nice shiver it actually feels nice you hit my head first
6:09good boy sit down no no shit right so it's 13-11 to you overall I'm actually fucking no joke's tight I'm actually cooking I have Newcastle top league and southern 20th and I'm still beating your ass yeah I've got arse on like mid table you're a bitch ass what A bitch ass what? You're a bitch ass bitch. Mmm. I saw that in your eyes then. Don't worry guys at home. I saw that. Right, right. Is everyone ready? Yeah. We good? Yeah. I'm ready. I'm so, so ready. Alright then. Alright. Peace mod. Lick me down the brim, you lick me! Lick me!
6:56Oh That's been there like four weeks Oh Right Friday night game One of the lights is a relegation six pointer I do actually think there could be some trouble here At Ellen Road with these two teams And luckily How are you hocking here I literally saw spit come out his whistle there Oh you You fucking Patrick Banford Jesus What do you call him Patrick Banford I think we might need subtitles. I haven't been doing stunts. How's the police force been going? I've been doing stunts. What? Garlic and chips. Garlic and chips. I've been doing stunts. I really don't get what he means by the stunts. Leeds, Forrest.
7:43This is massive. Forrest are now beating in their last four league games. Leeds' loss at home to Arsenal was their first at Ellen Road for five games. They're usually good at home. Are you expecting trouble this weekend, officer? No, trouble in my town. I fucking see him downtown. I go give kids a little look. What? No, you don't get to see it unless you see it. What? Right. I feel like this character gets more strokier each week. You'll be arrested next if you keep going here. Oh, he's the Australian. Big edges, man. G'day, g'day. I'm a dunstance. Right, I lost, so it's me to go first here. The Tricky Trees.
8:23I'm going to go for... I think Leeds bounced back here, but I do think Forrest could hurt him on the break. I'm going to go for the old Patricia Tutu. Hey, Patricia. She's the lucky... She's fucking good, mate. Spanish now. Hey,
8:42Mexicana. What? The Calvary Lewis is one of your kind. I think we're going to win. We're going to win 3-1. 3-1, and then we'll go down, and our Sandra Lynn, and she'll see you. Thank you for that, officer. I've been doing stunts. I don't, what does that even mean? Get out of the chips. Right, next up, Mannionated against Spurs. I mean, Carrick has won his first three games in charge. He may be him. It took Ruben Amorim 36 Premier League games within three in a row. That smelly, smelly man. What a terrible Premier League manager. Spurs have won one of their last seven away games. They reek under Thomas Frank.
9:23Although, good comeback against the mighty man City the weekend. They were shocking second half, City. However, with this being a double game week, and as I've just mentioned, United have won three in a row, they could, could, by the next prediction show, have won five in a row, which means the man to my right may have finally shaved his head. Are you excited for it? Yeah, I'm not going to shave my pubes, though.
9:50don't ask we're not doing we're not going no but you've been how long you've been growing that now i'm not i'm not shaving pubes so and i and i i do i do have i have them it's not a package deal it's not a package deal okay that's just the top yeah we i really don't mind if you that well i do mind so stop talking about it i'm not shaving my pubes right so frank You've been growing it since 2024. Wrong. I've had pubes since birth. Right. For two seconds, let's ignore your pubic region. Let's talk. Thank God. Because you won't show up. Let's talk about the hair on your head. The head. The head of my cock.
10:27The head of your. Right. Let's just get the facts out. Let's get the facts out. I have had pubes from birth. I definitely have them. Really? I definitely have pubes. From birth. And also, they will not be. That's not a package deal. They aren't included in the shaving. That's fine. And that's not because I don't have them. Yeah. Because I just will not show you them. Understood. Who, when, if you know, are you, do you, first of all, do you want United to win these two games? No. No. So you want to, you want to keep growing? Well, yes. Your hair out. Are you talking about? No, no, no. The hair on your head.
11:03Yes. I have hair on my head and I have hair on my bolster. Do you think you will? And my arse too. Do you think you will win the next two games? I don't care. and what is the prediction of this game i prefer cricket okay so i'm gonna go with 3-1 man united frank i'm gonna say it's gonna be 2-0 man united and i may end up having to shave my hair but not my pubes understood right next up uh two of my favorite teams not actually one of them is because we have made a truce bournemouth fans shalom all 17 of you including the the mean man who wants to hurt me don't hurt me we're friends we can go for a beer one of those you win okay the cherries you're unbeaten in the last four having previously gone 11 without a win maybe I was wrong about Arreola and they're at home where all 17 of them will be hooraying if they manage to score a goal and they're taking on Aston Villa
12:12Well that was weird as usual With the villa Anyway, villa have lost one Of their last set
12:25I'm the villain's Dad
12:33I'm the villain
12:40Oh, next up, your two favourite teams. We've got the Gooners up against the Blacker Cata. Regi Le Brie. Interesting game. Who's at home? It's at the Emirates. Tough away game, that. I do think Arsenal have... Sunderland are in the best run of form and Arsenal have got it together, haven't they? Yeah. After a little bit of a nervy spell, some would say. I think they really, last week against Leeds, put a the title race is over they put their dick on the table and went we're winning we're winning the league but it's the worst league ever to win so congratulations yeah it's a hollow victory isn't it really Arsenal but they ended a three match win streak with a dominant win over Leeds who are now six points clear at the top not Leeds Arsenal they're six points clear at the top not Leeds Arsenal Arsenal are six points clear at the top Leeds are having an unbelievable run though Sunderland are without a win in their last seven away games how do you feel about that?
13:33I'm actually crying because I know the pain. Oh. Yeah, you're probably longer now. Yeah. Away from home. Yeah, we're really good. You're like, you've bossed your nose. What do you mean? It looks bossed. Look, it's like indented. It looks indented. Can you not feel it? You've been scrapping. No. Is it over the blaze? You've been blazing again. Can you tell? Yeah, you look... I thought I was pulling it off. You look high, man. You can normally tell my face if I've been blazing. Your eyes are a bit red. Yeah, yeah. It's the eyes that gives it away. Is it that dank cush? Oh, mate. It's the dankest.
14:01I'm going to go first I think Arsenal will win 3-0 I'm not even going to give Sunderland a goal I will not I think Sunderland will score I'm going to go 3-1 I think that's not a bad prediction but I think they will score they are better at home in fairness to them right boys the biggest game of the weekend is the we have Clarita Blue you fucking c**t Oh, fuck. He's my least favourite character. You. Just fucking aggressive. You. Who's this? I can't play in this. I want two and a three, you fucking. Come to fucking Stratford. Hi, Mash. Come to Stratford now, you Mill. No, I was not playing. I hate this guy.
14:51Right. Who the fuck are you talking to, you? Oh, I didn't know he could hear me. I thought he was in his own world. Back off, you. Back in Bobby Zamora, Marlon Howard. Fucking Paolo Di Canio Fucking Aidan Mullis Mark Noble Declan Royce Mark Noble's not very doing good England cut Craig fucking Dawson Joe Cole Glenn Johnson Glenn Rhoda You fucking little He's doing that West Ham feel to keep a clean sheet in any of the past 21 matches Because they're all fucking That's why Yeah both You Yeah the massive fucking I'm going to go You Burnley though they've drawn their last two home games to Man United and Spurs so they'll be hopeful of a win here and my friend here in the West...
15:29Why don't you shut up, you c***? You're a nasty man. Why don't you fucking shut up, you c***? Come to fucking East London, now you do. I don't f*** East London if it's full of people like you. Danny fucking Dyer. What about him? Danny fucking Dyer. Is this all you do? Tamar Hassan. What relevancy has this got to our conversation? Ray Winston. I like him, yeah, I'll give you that. Jellied Eels. Right, fucking that, I've tried Jellied Eels and they're fucking awful, mate. The Thames River, where we buried, frankly, Yeah, fucking Jeffers. Right, all I need is two numbers. Bobby fucking Moore. That's good, give me two numbers.
16:02Pizza. No. We invented pizza in the East End. No, that is Italy. Because we've got loads of fucking dough. No.
16:25You ****! No!
16:29Errrr... Got rotten apple everywhere. Give me a fucking... Give me a fucking... Fucking... 1-1. Are apple seeds poisonous? Yeah, they've got cyanide in. Really? Genuinely. They've got small extracts of cyanide. That's why you're not allowed to let dogs eat them. A little tasty.
16:52I think... Fucking hell. Tough one, isn't it? It's the fucking fucking... 2-1 Burnley. They're going to win eventually. Are they? Yeah. They're good at home as well. If they were away, I'd be giving it the other way, 2-1. But you know I love a Cleopatra. their last win was over Leeds in October no no no no their last win at Turf Moor was back in October and you just said they're good at home they are good at home in terms of the results they've been getting they haven't won in four months at home yeah but they've been good at home they have been good at home it's Burnley they're not going to win much but when they played at home they've been decent they've got a lot of big draws at home just name them Liverpool they lost to Liverpool no they didn't they lost at home home to Liverpool.
17:41Let's have a look. Burnley home form. Let's just show how silly of a man you are.
17:51What even is this from? Can I ask? Are you sure? Right. So they, since October, they drew to Spurs who were shit. They drew to Man United. That's a draw. They lost to Newcastle. They drew with Everton. Three draws. They lost to Fulham. Lost to Palace. lost to Chelsea lost to Arsenal it's good results three draws and then their last win was Leeds all close losses though all close losses how do you work that out? by the scoreline they lost by two to Arsenal and Chelsea both times that's good how is that what how is that a good home record? they've won twice at home all season well you don't have to listen to me then do you?
18:31Mr. Clever Clark I do actually he's winning the predictions maybe I'm right and also football's unpredictable it's a dangerous game You can't just use that as an excuse to say something in mental. Let me tell you about a team called Leicester City. Fucking idiot. Anyway. Next up, it's my cottages!
18:53Jess Hens! It's not the Wolverines, mate. You do know that's an horse? Oh, shit, it's everything. Fucking weirdo. Have some respect for my cottages. Oh, my God. Darling, you look fabulous. Fabulous. Yes, Queen. Have you seen Love Island All-Stars? Slay, bitch. Girl, you would be dominating the screen. I would just like to say Belle held it down for sisterhood. Oh, sisterhood girl. Who run the world? Girls. Who run the world? Girls. Who needs men? I mean, P.U. Oh, I fucking love a cheese board by the river. And especially when we go to the theatre. I love the pantomime. Oh, no, you don't. Oh, darling, stop it, you...
19:49You fucking... Oh, that's a bit of an orphan. Come out then. Oh, stop it, you fucking... My mighty cottages fell at the final herd all the weekend. No, darling, don't hold yourself down. That was a great effort, and trying is all that counts. Not in this world, mate.
20:12That's what I buy. It's giving a 3-2 loss away at Man United at the last minute, you fucking bitch. And then I go get my pedicure. And a manicure. Because you are fab. You. You.
20:30This is me when we score. POV, the Fulham home end, when they score a last minute winner. Hooray! Oh, darling, I missed it. I was drinking my matcha. Yeah, look, Fulham, RMB, and in the last four home league games, and they've won three of them. They just signed Oscar Bob, friend of the show. 27 million. Yeah, that's a fucking good amount of money. Would you say that's a beast mode signing? I'd put it down as it, but he has to stay injury free. Do you not think that's a player you could have gone for? Yeah.
21:00But at the minute... Yeah, I do, actually. My cottagers are fucking flying, and they're above you, and they're better than you, and they're more attractive because it's London and Westland. Westland, where the West End is. We could go and see Phantom of the Opera.
21:17It's pain.
Read the full transcript
21:25To thee or not to thee. That is the question. Absolutely miles off it. You were merely born in the dark.
21:37Look, the Toffees are strong on the road, though, because they're Everton. But no dancing allowed, bitch. Why? Otherwise, the FIA are going to come down on your ass. The FIA? That's a different sport. The Toffees are strong on the road, like I said. They've got four wins this season, two draws, and one defeat from the past seven away games. Chandler, Chandler Bing? No, I'm David Mott. He scored. He didn't. Did he dance? Yeah, he went, he scored. No, it was like a little jig and a run. Like a little jig and a hop. Not dancing. Not dancing. That's so Chandler Bing. Not dancing. Not dancing. Could I be wearing any more clothes?
22:22Theresa May. You fucked up the budget, queen.
22:33Right then, who's to go first?
22:37You mean Teresa? Oh, David. My name's David. It's a fucking disgrace why I can't dance. Oh my God, that's your worst one ever. It's not my worst one. It's fucking David Moore's. Yeah! We've got to ask me to go! I think it's going to be 2... 2! 2-2. Another Patricia. Deuces. I'm going to go 2-1 for them. Deuces. Because I never predict 2-1.
23:07Oscar Bob to score as well. You heard it here first. Yeah, you. Right, next shot we've got... The Dogheads taking on... Carefree, wherever you may be. We are the famous CFC. You do realise that is not a wolf. Yes, it is, you twat. That's an arse? It's a fucking wolf? It's either a pig or an arse? Don't you think I know what it is? Don't you make an arseman of me and you I know what I am You're a total arseman aren't you You're ruining the You're making them You're making them think I'm not a wolf Angry wolf Someone woke up on the wrong side of the den
23:55Who the fuck are you talking to No he's a Wolves fan It's like a natural reaction Rosinha's won all three of his league games in charge mate what a start he's had in fairness to him even though you were well not someone has been taking the mickey out of him on the prediction show yeah why would you bully him do you know what he's saying he's actually in an interview saying that his kids have been sending him loads of like memes and videos of like people impersonating him and I like to think do you reckon he did do you reckon he saw it well there's no show that's bigger in the world so friend of the show friend of the show Liam Rosinha Liam Rosinha and that means hey right The kids of Liam Rossini I've got a message for you Tell your dad He has to do this celebration If he sees this message Go on then
24:44When you score What would you do if Rossini fucking does that now? Go to Chelsea Wait, what's Rossini doing?
24:58You're nearly 30 No, I'm not. You am. No, I'm not. Actually, you are. I know, but I'm not doing that. Yeah, because I'm fucking funny. Humour is subjective. Right, Wolves remain... Propping up the table, 17 points adrift, with a far inferior goal difference to 17th place Forest, which is basically 18 points. They are dead and buried, just like they belong. And this time, we won't be getting the buckets out to save their shit club. you're welcome it's me to go first innit I'm gonna go 4-0 Chelsea golden result please because they are useless I'm gonna say 3-0 Chelsea welcome back to the kickoff man go do it go do it go do it well fucking Newcastle man toot toot blood away taking on the fucking Buzzy Bees man the Buzzy Bees very well pointed there Brian well moving on to Newcastle.
26:02Newcastle. Alan Shearer. Cat Dealy. Newcastle more like Poo Castle.
26:14No stars today, Lawrence. Newcastle have dropped 16 points from winning positions this season. Having won one of their first eight away games, losing seven. Brentford have now won three of the last four on road. and Nagan beats you after the game. Now, what I'd like to say, Brian, is the problem with Newcastle is they need to score more goals. The fuck do you know, you c***? That's what she said.
26:47What a silly prick. Am I right, guys? I'm glad the kickoff's back. I'm not glad you're back. No, I think we are the pinnacle. We are the godfathers, and this is great. I've seen lots of laughter out there in the world but we're back they're not laughing at you though are they oh no because there's no stars today it's just you're gonna do it no stars today you're gonna do it just loyzing your eyes you're gonna do it you're doing great you're gonna do it yes doing great I'm gonna do it doing great yep you're on telly I'm gonna go with a fucking a fucking Brian you're looking very strong these days and very intimidating and I hope if I come across you and you have seen these skits.
27:27Shut your fucking mouth, pet. And if you've seen these skits in real life, I hope you don't break us in two. Shut your fucking mouth, you fucking rash fucker. I'm gonna get fucking mortal with the lads, me and Scotty T, in the fucking town. Now, I actually really love Eddie Howe. I'm going to say it's going to... Fuck! Fucking hell, man! Get on with it, man! 2-1 Newcastle. that's fucking annoying I was going to go with that and I'd like to go and result that
28:04fucking I'm gone I'm gone I'm gone fucking hell man I don't fucking I didn't even know man I'm going to go 3-2 to the tune can do it doing great boobie right next one up it is Brighton vs Palace they think this is a real derby I mean do they though I feel like surely not no they do it's fucking cringy no of course can they do genuinely my piss and my shit I have a bigger derby than this what does that include it will which one I prefer what do you prefer I think a shit do you yeah you prefer the feeling of shitting than pissing depends what kind of shit if it's a good solid shit yes how about when it just doesn't stop and it's all sloppy yeah well I like doing that as long as I'm in home I'm not aware I think the feeling of pissing is more consistent does it on a more consistent basis I'll tell you what shitting's too in and out he's like I piss and shit all over this I piss and shit all over this game though because it's fucking your pisses your pisses are like Phil Neville whereas your shits are like poor Pogba like Mark Mark Viduca no Mark Viduca is more like piss he's big though he's like fucking shit yeah but some shits aren't big well they can be those are the best ones are though what don't you get about this analogy you fucking idiot I start the analogy you can't take off my analogy and say I don't understand it I made it work you made it fucking stupid fucking about well can I tell you what this conversation's better than any conversation about this game I'm saying fucking 1-1 I despise this game I was gonna go the same I'm actually gonna go nil-nil right yeah great great boring great job guys great job guys what a derby what a derby and up next though we have a spicy game Liverpool, who should be contending for the title against Man City, were trying the best to give Arsenal some sort of challenge.
29:57Liverpool ended their five-game winless run, of course, against fucking Newcastle 4-1. Eketike looking unbelievable. They're starting to click, and we are honoured today because we have one of the biggest names in football here live in the studio as they're set to take on Liverpool in this game. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Pep Guardiola. Pep Stop What the fuck You're a Pep Can we get a bucket please What are you doing We Pep Pep We stop fucking Pep Pep More than you believe More than you believe He's a fucking maniac We stop Shit Fucking hell It's a We stop We Right okay Right Pep's being a fucking minger What How do you feel about this game More than you believe That doesn't make sense.
30:49I'll ask you again. Stop spitting. We cannot replace it. At this point, you're not actually spitting, mate. That's not. There's just air. You're not even spitting. You ill. Why are you being so shit in this title race? Can you be good, please? You said you knew the problem. You took four now and you kept fucking being shit. More than you believe. Doesn't make sense. What's your thoughts on the referee decisions? Stop doing that. More than you believe. Right. He's a fucking dickhead, isn't he? He is a dickhead. Get him. Security, get him out. He's fucking shit. more than you believe
31:25it's just more than you believe we cannot replace him more than you believe I am happy more than you believe more than you believe I say 2-1 Liverpool I'm going to say 2-1 Man City can we get him out please he's fucking awful to look at Imagine being his wife More than you believe No lube needed in your household
31:57Right, to wrap it up We've both gone and resorted It's time for our ones to watch I'm going to go for Esteval I like him Esteval I'm going to go two. I'm going to go with Eketika. That's really good, isn't it? Yep. You've predicted them to lose 2-1. You've gone with Eketika. Good boy. He's a good boy. He can score one, mate. He's a good boy. Well, I'm a very good boy, but that's irrelevant to what you're saying. Yeah. So there we have it for the first game week. On to the second game week, which is game week 26. Yeah, we're going to have to speed run this Spice because we're all fucking sick of this shit.
32:49I'm back. Right. First up, we've got Chelsea Leeds. Bit of a little spicy one. They don't like each other, them lot. They like to have a little fisticuffs when they get involved. Leeds have won just one away game in the league this season. That was at Wolves. Shit. Obviously. Because propping up the table. And Chelsea have lost just one league game in the last seven because Lin Rosinia is him. And that was Tavilla. It's you to go first Yeah I'm gonna I think it's gonna be It'll be 3-1 to Chelsea I'm confident in Chelsea And Leeds You know It's a hard game That Stamford Bridge I'm gonna go 2-0 Chelsea Damn 2-zip 2-zip Dos Zippo Safety I just had a fucking fart You need a poo don't you I do need a poo Poo-wee Everton vs Bournemouth Everton Cherries Never shine so brightly We love you The cherries Every tournament without a win in the last four home league games, winning just one in six.
33:47They're not very good at Hill Dickie. We are the cherries. We have hearts of stone.
34:01I'm going to fucking kill you. Bournemouth's win at Wolves was just their second win on the road this season and their first since a 1-0 win at Spurs in August. It's me to go first. I'm going to go 1-1. David Moyes, 2-1. Oh, Moyes' last-minute winner. Yeah, he's going to come on. Not fucking bad yourself. And then he's going to do Semenuel's backflip, but this time he'll actually land it. Then we've got the mighty Spurs taking on the mighty Newcastle. Are you nervous about this game? Yes. Really? I'm nervous about every single Newcastle game in the history of Newcastle games moving forward. Spurs are shit, though.
34:33Yeah. Eat the apple. So are we. That's brown as fuck. Eat the apple. I don't want to eat that apple. It's been oxidised. I will not be touching that mushy little piece of shit. Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it. No. How about no? Oh, you've got that fast on again. Not happy. This apple is like as mushy and soft as our football team at the moment. Nah, but we do have one. Burn. My name is Harvey Barnes. You've missed me. But I know you've seen me. and I'm back to sentence you to score. It's conceding. It's meant to be conceding goals. We haven't shut the ball yet. Conceal goal.
35:24Requel's crazy. So you reckon he's going to score? Yeah. 2-2. 2-2. You're going 2-2 at Spurs? I'm not my team, mate. I'm going to go 2-1 Newcastle. This isn't me losing faith But it's me losing faith But you gotta have faith Faith, faith, faith You gotta have Stop farting Safety Stinks as well You really do need a shite It fucking smells He needs a shite You had a shite You had a shite on the back of the bus That's one of the best press conferences You just smash You go Oi, shite on the bus Why don't you drink shite on the bus Right, next up we got Fagin' Arts taking on Man United. West Ham's win over Sunderland was their first at home for five games.
36:08Man United are now unbeaten in three away games, but that win at Arsenal was their first since a 4-0 win at Wolves because everyone fucking beats Wolves because they are propping up the table. I couldn't find the devil he is, so I'm aware. I'm not going to. My name's Michael Terry.
36:27The producers know who's a fitting tune that is. I am going to go with I think Man United win 3-1 statement win away from home just to plummet the hammers into obscurity 2-1 Man United you've gone for a Leroy that is absolutely crazy girl you're a crazy girl so that we have both predicted Man United to win their next two games which means old Frank of all he's going to be chopping his pubes off their hair, sorry is he the lad I've seen the toilets before? he didn't have any pubes but he kept talking to me in the cubicle saying I have pubes by the way why are you looking at his pubes? well he said I have pubes by the way and then I was like well he doesn't what like a like a skinned cat yeah like a bald pig it was majestic but his hair from his head is so long it covers his pubic region wow, well like Gandalf the great Gandalf infamously had long pubes right The Villain ain't going to be happy about this because Brighton are in town.
37:32The Villain suffered back-to-back home league defeats for the first time since February 2024. Brighton have won just two away games this season and failed to win in their last five on the road since the 2-1 win over Forest. I think you're going first. I need to shut my mouth. Aston Villa-Brighton? Yeah.
37:50Today. 2-1. Aston Villa. Fuck! I was going to go that. We don't predict many 2-1s on this show. No, it's a rare one. I'm going to go 2-0, Villa. I think they get back on track here don't you yeah yeah Brighton is just a weird Brighton could easily get there and win by the way inconsistent but next up it's Crystal Palace vs Burnley fucking shit Palace have won just two home games this season mate if you're gonna be depressed they're gonna be depressed liven it up now
38:27Palace Burnley Palace have won just two home games this season. Their last win come in November 1st against Brentford. They did kind of stop the rot last week, though. That was a decent point. Even though they're against 10 men, they probably should have won. Burnie's only away win again, obviously, came at Wolves in October. But their two draws on the road have come in their last three. Picking up a point at Bournemouth and Liverpool. This stinks of a draw. I am going to go 1-1. Actually, no, sorry. San Larson's going to be playing in it. I'm going to go 3-1 Palace. I reckon they pump them I think it's going to be 1-0 Burnley Oh He's gone for it Back to back Burnley wins Out of nowhere I predicted them to win before They haven't beaten Sunderland mate You know that 1-0 Wow that is fucking Beast man I'm kind of rouse clap You actually heard beer Yeah I would like Scott Parker I believe he's got I know you don't really have any sort of characteristics for us to impersonate on this show but you're great i'm not believing you smell too pretty and i can feel the warning signs running around my mind so here i go i've been scratching around in the same old hole my body feels young but my mind is very
39:56So why do you say You can't give me the chance But I'm mine anyway Half the world away Half the world away Where is it? You're half the world away I've been lost, I've been found But I don't feel down Lewis didn't know any of them words It's shitty! Man City, Man City, Man City Manchester stand up We're alive! What? Manchester vibes in the area They're taking on more cottagers though City's win against Wolves, ended back-to-back games without a win at home, but have yet to lose at the Etihad since the opening weekend against Spurs Fulham are winless in their last three on the road though They do struggle a bit away from the cottage Mm-hmm.
40:56Jelzen's. She's going first, my friend. What do you think? Give me a prediction, boy. Go on, boy. 2-1 Man City. I'm going to go 3-1 City. City. Yeah, not bad shout-out there. I think Fulham don't get it done. Yeah, I just think City will have too much for them. They'll have a little bad. In the end, they'll have too much. And next up, my two favourite teams in the league. Prop at the table against the Tricky Trees. How dare you fucking say we're going to have a shit season and Nuno's going to get sacked. Burn. You don't even wear your glasses because you're going to get slagged up on telly. Forrest have won just three league games at home and are winless in their last four.
41:38Wolves are yet to win a single game on the road this year. Yeah, imagine not winning away. That's fucking embarrassing, that, mate. They're actually going to be better now with Adam Armstrong. 3-0 Forrest.
41:531-1. golden result for me 1-1 a crazy absurd 1-1 is it crazy and absurd? yeah really? yeah because Wolves are shit really really? they're actually going to get a point yeah 1-1 I don't mind that next up though is an evening game Sunderland vs Liverpool at the stadium of Shite Sunderland the only team yet to lose at home in the league this season that is crazy but can they do against Liverpool? probably I hate both teams here Who do you hate more? Sunderland So I'm gonna say
42:332-2 I think it comes to an end here I think Liverpool win 2-1 You think that's Liverpool building some momentum then? Interesting I think they win this Another game on Thursday It's a fucking London derby Yeah but it's like a fucking shit one Like with the buzzy knees What's wrong with that? Oh, it's just like Fucking like Have some respect, man Like Bournemouth They're smaller than Bournemouth You want me to make Yeah, ah, they're all Yeah Ah, they're all Brentford are like Tiny, tiny, tiny Yeah They're like Yeah Yeah Brentford Arsenal Brentford's loss at home To Forest Was their first Since losing to Man City In October They're very, very good At home in fairness Yeah Keith Andrews He's doing an excellent job Albin legend Come on Scored in the 5-1 Against the Wolves Indeed Indeed.
43:21Indeed. He may be the guy. Except from Karen. Arsenal are beating in the last four on the road, though. Yeah, okay. It's just going to go on and it's just making me annoyed, but yeah, they're just going to win. It's me to go first. I'm going to go with a 2-2 draw. Really? Yeah. I think you're mental. I'm sitting 2-1 Arsenal. Oh, wow. I'm so mental. I've predicted an extra goal to yours. Yeah, you're mental for that. Call me, Craig. I'll tell you what. Lock me up. Throw away the key and tell your barber. I'll call the Leeds lad back out. He'll fucking arrest you real quick Matt I don't think he can't even string a sentence together he has a whistle blow my whistle whistle baby whistle baby let me know I don't know the words right my Jason Drudeau I've already gone and resorted and my one to watch will be give me Igor no no no I'm going to go with Igor no I'll go with Gibbs White against the Wolves Igor I'm going to go and resolve My name is Igor Jesus, and I sent...
44:26Quick, quick, quick! I've got a golden result Newcastle game against Tottenham 2-2, and I want to watch. It's going to be... It's going to be... It's going to be... It's... Say your name! Whissa! You've already done... All right. Like, subscribe. We'll see you next week! Bye!
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