BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 23

24:18There's a rock in them, you fucking dickhead. It's not a rock. I say it's a rock because I fucking ate it. It's a stone. That's the same fucking thing. No, no, no. No, very different way, actually. Oh, let's ask Dwayne Johnson, see what he thinks. Yeah, but he's not the... It's called the Stone Cold Stunner. That's Stone Cold Steve Austin He's not called Dwayne the Stone Johnson Is he Is your cake done

24:48Wow Is your cake done That looks yummy I must admit This needs some more time Do you want to be egg I'm alright thanks Yeah I think it needs a bit more time in the oven Put it back in What do you think Santa Ah right You've gone for a 2-1 away win I actually think West Ham win this Call me crazy guys You're crazy You're absolutely Lock this guy up He's out He's mad

25:15I'm gonna go for a 2-1 home win To the Emmers Ions Forever blowing bubbles How can we call it Ions And then have a song about bubbles I don't get it Because it's like polar opposites And it's like Soft with the ladies Hard with the men

25:32Jesus Right next up it's your boys Was that English? That's what you do. Would you say you have the worst accent in the UK? What, like, not me personally or are you on about like Geordies? Yeah, no, no, you're not a Geordie. That's why I'm saying, that's why I'm trying to get the differentiator. Both. Well, for me, no, I really like it. Sound of home. Oh, what the Boer accent? Bear out. Can I just say, we've seen the cup draw. Do you know how many times we've drawn Man City in both domestic cups over the last seven. Is it like six times? Six times out of seven. What do you reckon? Yeah, it's six times in seven years.

26:12It's fucking shit. I know you're going to have to play them eventually if you want to win, but like, Aston Villa into fucking city, but what I will say is when we won... is that not just down to the fact you've done quite well in the competition, so naturally you're going to play them? Do you know what I mean? It probably is on like, overall, but like it does feel like... How many times have you drawn them in like the third round of the FA Cup? Or fourth round? Really silly. if you're going to get to the last stage of the competition, you're going to come up against Man City. I feel like we have drawn them when there were easier teams.

26:38I feel natural, but also I don't care because you're going to have to beat them anyways to win, aren't you? Someone's going to have to beat them off. But yeah, we've got them away though. Do you reckon you can beat them off? Beat off Man City. It's going to be a long, hard finish though. Yeah, and they've got a lot of good, strong men as well. Yeah. Top players, good depth. There's going to be men coming off the bench. It's going to be deep. It's going to be deep. It's going to be hard and deep. You've got to fight for it. At some point, your body will be aching. You think, do I want this? I just like, well, yeah, I do.

27:03You've got a battle for the pain, all the lactic acid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to have to push it. Yeah. You have to really push it. Borna. How he failed to win their first four league games of 2026. City have won three of the last four. They only dropped points against Spurs. We did beat Man City in the Prem. You did 2-1? For like the first time in Eddie Howe's history of being a manager. 2-1 at home, wasn't it? Yeah. And any other game, Eddie Howe's never beat them. Damn, that's a pretty good record. But we always do a good performance against them, but not at the Etihad. Can I just say, right, Alanga getting better, Ramsey and Will getting better, Tenali rising up.

27:39Volta Marder in a new role, he'd still get in the box a little bit more, but dropping deep, good. Mate, a week ago, you said your season was over. Yeah, but football's a crazy game. However, one man, I don't think... However. Ha-ha. And, and... Tindall. No, because we're not... Can you just let me do it? because you don't know what you're doing. It's embarrassing. I'll do the pun. Anyway, one man who I don't think talks shit. I do really. He doesn't know what the fuck he's on about, but this guy loves him and he licks his bop-bop no matter what he says. That is your manager, your king. How are you, Bars?

28:21No, Eddie Howe. We've actually got... He's here? Yeah, we've got an exclusive interview with Eddie Howe talking to us about the game. Roll VT Thank you for joining the Prediction Show Eddie Big result that after a tough run of form Yeah we've really struggled on the road to this season and it's something we had to own up to some hard truths and I think this was a much more characterical display from all that so yeah I'm immensely proud What's been the difference the last couple of results? Yeah you know it's been tricky really you know it's all about the unity behind the scenes and we've had to look inwards and sort of persevere and I think we did that well tonight.

29:02Jason Tindall, does he have much of a part in your role? I'd say it's not any one individual. Everyone has their roles behind the scenes, on the pitch and it's all about being united as one and there's no single person taken.

29:21What about me, boss? Jason's been great. Yeah, we're really proud of the lads. The Mad Dog's really, really proud, really happy. And I'm proud of you as well, son. Good three points on it on the weekend. Hey, Mad Dog.

29:39Your assistant manager's a bit busy, isn't he? What, Mad Dog? Mad Dog. That's what they call him, Mad Dog. That is possibly the best thing ever. The worst thing I've ever heard. It's class. Oh, yeah, you're scared of Mad Dog, mate. If he was in this room, you'd be fucking done in by his aura alone. Oh! And what you think for this score then? I believe that City will beat you. They battered you the other week, didn't they? The Etihad.

30:08I'm going to go for 3-1 City. Tell me what you think. Tell me what you really think. Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare. I hate football because I know what I should say, but I don't think I have the strength to do it. Don't do it then. 2-2. Who's strength I found love. We get something from this game. This team is going to galvanise. We won for the first time ever without Bruno on the team. We're going to galvanise. That's not true, is it? We've won twice away. What about when you beat West Brom 3-1 in 2003? Whilst he was playing with us. We've won twice away in a row, I admittedly I know the situation but we've got this trust me we've got this 2-2 you're going to go and result it I'm not oh wow someone wants to win that's cringe moving on

31:15he's got carrots enough guys

31:33Oh, you're going to like the end result. Anyway, moving on. It's the Wolverines. Because you know what they're doing.

32:02What are you actually doing?

32:14What's the Wolverine? Pretend this is a wolf. Do you know where the Wolverine's gone? Anyway, Crystal Palace have got a home game against the Wolverines.

32:32Yeah. Do you know what they're doing though? What? Prop, prop, propping up the table. Prop, prop, propping up the table. You useless dingle fuckers. You actually thought, you actually thought after like two games of half-decent results, you had a chance of staying up. Well, you haven't. How many points are you on, Will? Nine. Nine? What, so how many points to... You've got to get two points, is it? Three points to better it. Are you going to do it? Go and do it. We'll do it. Go and do it. As a world exclusive, we are going to get the producer to give his prediction for this game. What do you reckon, mate?

33:13Nil-nil. We're going to creep our way past it. Palace ended 11-match winless run by beating Brighton before throwing away a two-goal lead to Burnley. That was embarrassing. I think Lazda needs to F off already because it's getting embarrassing. Wolves are yet to win on the road in the league.

33:35One win all season. One win. Liquidate them. But they've also drawn three of their last four away games in the league.

33:50What a useless club. What a pathetic waste of spunk everyone in that club is. Hey, don't talk about my Wolverines later. Sorry, other than you. I'm Head Wolf. I'm the alpha. Who is Wolf's top scorer of all time?

34:12Dave Bull.

34:17Yeah!

34:21Davey balls a tatter. He wears a tatter's hat. He plays for Wolverhampton. He is a fucking twat. He runs down the left wing. He runs down the right. He couldn't score a goal if he played a fucking night. Whoa! Sit down. Right, who should go first? Who should go first? Who's fucking here the old time? Mr. Wolf, it's you to go first. What do you think? Fucking hell. Who's playing? Well, apparently it's the horses against the yetis. This is a wolf. Is it? Yes. That's an horse. This is not... This is an horse. This is a wolf. Look at the camera. All these the same thing. Yeah, you got a point to be fair.

35:13what do you reckon what do you reckon come on give it to me baby nice and slow come on top ride me like a rodeo Palace are shit though yeah but mate Wolves Wolves are the worst team ever yeah it looks like Santa's got a horse as I said I'm gonna say

35:362-1 Palace I've not said 2-1 today either to be fair we never say 2-1 I'm gonna go for 2-0 Palace Because Wolves are dog shit They're not even gonna score Well, Wolves shit More like Because they're Wolves Alright, shut up Shut up It wasn't even a fucking joke It was a correction of his grammar Shut the fuck up I'm sick of this shit I'm sick of this shit I've been doing this for months and who is he? and who's that? why has he got his trousers down? stop it stop it say it again tell us again I'm trying to be serious tell us again I've gone through a lot anyway moving on we've got oh it's Liverpool and they're playing Nottingham Forest and we're very pleasured to have Mr.

36:42Tumbaloscus here in studio to chat with us. Bloody hell.

36:53Hello. Hello, child. I'm a... Hello, sweet child. I'm a 35-year-old man. And the rest? That's rude. I am... Before we start, I am quite hungry. Oh. Well we've got a cake in the oven It's not quite ready But we've got Don't put a fucking vegetable In my face again Oh okay Well we haven't got anything else Anyways I'm sure you managed We're only here for a few minutes I've never managed in my life Well that's good Because you're not a manager So that's absolutely fine We're here to talk about Nottingham Forest though Recently got rid of Sean Dyche Fourth manager of the season Fourth That's disgusting Why are you making that noise?

37:36Continue, child 47 Continue, child Why has Sean Dice left the club? He's on one of his best runs of form In his managerial career He's outperformed lots of previous managers At Nottingham Forest He is an expert at keeping teams in the Premier League So can you stop breathing? It's fucking minging, mate It's minging

38:01You're fired I don't think you can do that. You are fired. I don't think you can do that. You are fired as well. Everybody's fired. You, you, you, you, you, me. You? Even if you can't believe it. I don't know why, but I am fired as well. Time to continue for now. I don't work here anymore. Okay, then. Anyway, the tricky trees are appointed crazily. Woohoo, loco. Vito Pereira. I can't believe they've done that. I can't believe you've done this. This room ain't big enough for the two of us.

38:59Honestly, you... I didn't think Harvey Barnes could be outdone but that runs it fucking close you big freak Forrest have won just two of their past ten matches which may be a reason why they got rid of old Dyche I like Dyche he's a friend of the show he's been on the show before he has been on the show you do a really good impression of him don't you you know what mate not very happy with the results yeah alright Liverpool ended Sunderland's unbeaten home record for their first away win since December Liverpool they're a weird one they look good against Brighton in the cup as well yeah but everyone looks good against Brighton because we've established their shit yeah they are pretty poo poo I've thing with this do they get the new manager bounce Forrest I hope so because I'm preying on Liverpool's downfall all season Forrest though if they don't get a new manager bounce they're going to get fucking relegated like I mean I had to West Ham to overtake that do you think they go down I said Tottenham but if you were placing a bet you'd say Forrest work that one out folks because I can think something against the odds will happen but I understand that percentage chance but I'm not asking what the percentage chance is I'm asking what you think is going to happen so here's how to move we have a pie right I'd say 70 % of the pie what kind of pie 70 % of the cream pie is Nottingham Forest but I would choose the 10 % which is Tottenham because I think it's a more attractive slice but this is a bigger bit of the pie no but I yeah I understand odds and probability my point is what do you think is going to happen regardless of what Tottenham's getting relegated well there you go don't you think Forest will stay up yeah because I like that bit of the pie more but there's more of that you are a fan of a pie aren't you cream pie cranberry pie corned beef I like corned beef pie I've never had a corned beef pie steak pie is good what's your favourite type of pie corned beef pie corned beef potato yeah it's class never had corned beef pie no you'd fucking love it you'd love corned beef I do love corned beef I'll cook that after the carrot cake yeah you'll never ever put in food in my life again oh Only food So I can put other things In your mouth Me to go first Forest Liverpool I just can't see anything Other than an away win But I do think they'll concede Actually no I don't Liverpool 2 Forest 0 No new No new manager balance For the tricky trees

41:17I think he's broke 2-1 Liverpool Oh Yeah I'm going rogue I'm pulling out with the Paul Paul 2-1 Moving on, this next game is Fab You Loose Jazz hands What an abomination is this That ain't a cowboy I'm a cottager My god You look Fabulous You look fabulous I've always wanted a hat like that, darling. Yes, I'm so sick of wearing this. Look at this. It's yucky, yucky, yuck. I want that. That is so last season. I'm going to cry. Don't cry, bitch. Don't cry, bitch. You're the bitch. You're the silly bitch. You're the silly bitch. You slag as well. I've seen you down in the alleyway. You're getting pumped up the ass.

42:18Reddy's gone. My wonderful cottage. By the seaside We live in a cottage No It's by the river I live by the river That's ghastly They're not by the seaside mate They're by the river I thought the cottage was by the seaside That we're going to live on Together That could happen I'd like it to I wouldn't mind that either You made your nostrils bigger How would you do this? Oh Yeah There's no end to my nostril game Chazzy Join in!

43:01But Sunderland, your favourite team with Reggie Le Brie? No, no, no. Reggie Le Brie? No, no. In the North East? No, no, no. He managed to be like a cutter. Lots of Sunderland fans are claiming he should be sacked if he doesn't get European football. I saw one person say that. He spoke for all of them. Did he? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What did you...

43:24Look, Sunderland coming to the east off the back of their own beating home record, coming to an end against Liverpool, as we established in the last segment. They've won just two league games in 2026. They've been struggling without Xhaka, haven't they? Yeah, yeah. Well, he is... Granit. He's their team a bit, isn't he? He is the heartbeat of their team. Yeah. But he'll be back to play you and beat you. I would love to make fun of them for that, but we're the exact same with Bruno G. They're still above you, aren't they? No. I think they are. No. Are they not? We're ahead on goal difference. Wow, how the mighty have fallen out.

43:55Mind the gap. Hey, guys, mind the gap. Freaking hell, that's dangerous. I fucking love the theatre. I love the pantos. I love cheese boards. They're also full of coming to this off the back of three successive league defeats. Can these bitches just tighten up at the back? Honestly, my favourite cheese is Brie because she is a s***.

44:25Right, shoot's going first.

44:30You're going to have an aneurysm. I can make myself go red. Do you want to see? Yeah.

44:38He's going to pop. It didn't work. You haven't read it before. Ah, that hurts me. Yeah, that's going to give you a fucking head out, you fucking stupid bitch. Is that me tensing my brain? You don't have a brain. Because you hear it go, like, in your head, it's going, mmm. She's go first. I'm, like, tensing my ears. Suddenly let them have to follow them. Did you know that all humans are able to move their ears as a child, but because we never learn how to do so, like, most adults can't move them properly as an adult? So you would be able to move those even more. Like, you'd be able to move them out and do this.

45:12And, like, move them like a wolf. Or a dog.

45:19you're to go first Fulham's going to win of course we are 1-0

45:29I think this is going to be a draw is Xhaka back? very soon oh no no no 2-3 alright okay I think this is going to be 1-1 I think the cottages are going to go all the way out to the north east and get a lovely point and take it back to the river. I think this is reversible. I think it's supposed to look like this. That's fucking awesome. That is, that's freaking awesome. I got, it's, it's, it's reversible. That's freaking lit my G. No, that is. It's not. It's my exact style. This is my exact style. Just, so you don't have to wash it. Just turn it inside out like your box is. It works one way and then it works the other way.

46:12No, it doesn't. because you can see the label. It's my exact... Moving on, it's a fucking London derby! To be more specific, it's a fucking North London derby! Spurs Arsenal with their new manager, Igor Pudara, the Croata. Do you think he's going to do well? I have no idea because I don't know who he is. But do you know what I'm thinking? I don't necessarily hate Tottenham in any way but a department does want to see them get relegated because I'm just interested what happens just because how mad it is yeah it's just like you know what I mean I just want to see like what happens if Tottenham get fucking relegated I do kind of agree with you how many points do they win by in the championship yeah I think it'll be similar to when you went down you just win the league and come straight back up pretty easily yeah but I think they'd be a lot more like they'd literally win every game 4-0 yeah they really shouldn't lose one game yeah like they will because it spurs they'll probably finish sick imagine these struggle they'll probably finish genuinely Spurs will probably finish six Spurs have just won two league games this season at home I'm guessing that's crazy that is absolutely mental yeah that was Burnley on the opening day and then Brentford in December that is I was playing golf the other day and he paired me with like a duo or whatever and that guy was a Tottenham fan season ticket holder and like even like he was happy to chat about anything as soon as I engaged Tottenham as a conversation like it was just shut down you could just see the depression in his eyes what am I sceptre well just imagine actually you have a season ticket and you keep going and you just keep watching that shit.

47:44You wouldn't know because you never go. To a Tottenham game. Burn. I don't go Tottenham game. Just got burned, my G. Arsenal have been in the last five league games on the road, but have just two wins in the last six league games. They're still top of the league. Top, top, top of the league. And they're going to be top of the league by how many points? Because this is recorded before the Arsenal-Wolves game and they're obviously going to beat the Wolves because Wolves are shite. Imagine they don't. Imagine. Imagine. No, no, no. Actually, imagine it. Go on. I like that world. I want to live in that world.

48:12That's freaking... Am I going first on this? It's me to go first, aren't you? Yeah, it is. Now, you see, my loins are burning for a Spurs win or just a Spurs upset or just something Spurs. What's a loin? Don't worry about it. You never ask a man about his loins. Okay. Ever. Never? Never. What about a woman? Never. Ask a woman about her burning loin. Yeah, definitely. What would I be asking about then? I don't know. I'm not a woman. Okay. I think Arsenal are just going to win this pretty comfortably because I think Spurs could hire Batman and he wouldn't do much. Well, he's not a football manager.

48:49How do you know? But he's fighting crime. Yeah, crimes against football. Arsenal. Maybe he's just the man you need. I think it's going to be 2-0 Arsenal. Tom, call me crazy here. Crazy. I'm going to disagree with you. Crazy cat. There's a crazy cat. I smell something. Oh, sorry. Oh, yes. And I taste it too. Oh. And you look like one, two. Something's in the air. I really can't see this side. I think Tottenham are going to do something a bit crazy here. They are going to draw. Wow. It's going to be 2-2. Patricia. In the North LD. In the NLD.

49:402-2 for me Football's crazy It's a derby New manager bounce The players will be fucking over The fans will be back Because there's a new sense of energy And if they start the game strong The fans get on them It's at home You never fucking know The fans are going to get on them Fair enough I think that's absolutely mental And finally the Monday night football It's a proper This is a proper fucking Premier League fixture Isn't it? Proper Because we've got Everton it never shines so brightly where's my sunglasses nice Adlib nice Adlib

50:19they're taking on Man United and that guy didn't get his hair cut yeah he didn't after we paid him fucking thousands to come to the studio give us an interview did he cut his pubes? obviously not he told you that a million times I wasn't there I seen him in the toilet though Yeah he had a weird thing Like that Wayne Rooney doesn't like him Which must be so sad I actually feel a bit sorry For the moment I feel bad for him He seems like a nice guy I met him he's a nice guy And he's just doing this thing He's raised money for charity He didn't expect He's getting this big did he Yeah and he What's he supposed to do now Is he supposed to just stop You're too far D Yeah you've got to You've got to just do it It's been fucked like That was a perfect exit point Yeah And now he's just like Literally fucked That is like Alan Shearer coming out and publicly saying he doesn't like me, I'd be so sad.

51:07Yeah, but also, do we have a plan in place for if Alan Shearer turns up to match the day with a long head of hair? Do we? I need to know. We need to know. We all need to be on the same page. Is there a plan in place? Look, despite picking up four Premier League home victories at Hill Dickinson Stadium before the turn of the calendar year, the mighty Toffees haven't won there for the last six games. Have you ever noticed? They're good away, and then they're shit at home, I don't get it. You haven't noticed that about Everton? What? The words dick is in their stadium. No. Hill dick. Wow. Man United are undefeated in the last five games with a Sesco last minute goal keeping Carrick's undefeated run going.

51:46He is maybe Carrick him although he's not going to be able to keep his job because he decided that he's not good enough for some reason after just doing very well. I reckon he gets them into the top four. Obviously top three I think. Obviously leaves and then he goes to Newcastle which is a Geordie. I don't want him after you sack Eddie Howe I don't want him I do not want him they've lost just one of their last seven on the road winning three of them should we go first this is I actually don't think this is tough at all Toffees are winning this definitely 2-1 Man United fuck I was going to go that Gordon Result that bitch I tried to play him let's Gordon Result that bitch hashtag Gordon Result I'll go 3-1 United so we've both Gordon Resulted who is your one to watch this weekend, Lewis?

52:33Well, I'm going to be watching them all because I like football. You're actually a fucking connoisseur of football, aren't you? You're like the chicken connoisseur but with like foosball. Foosball? Foosball. I love foosball, yeah, yeah. I'm going to say... Silence in the studio. Bruno Fernandes. Fuck! I was going to go similar. I'm going to rival you. I'm going to rival you, bitch. Rival me. I'm going to go for Brian Mbwemo. I was thinking of him as well. I was also thinking of Sesko, but I don't think he stars. Sexy Sesko? Yeah, he's just a guy who's going goals at the moment. Well, there we have it.

53:06There's the golden result. There is the ones to watch. Tell us how crazy our predictions are. And please, please look after yourselves. And as always, Raz Clark. Your cake's done, isn't it? Yeah, thank you. Let's have a look. Roll the credits.