BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 24

0:00Welcome back to the great show on the show Hello and welcome to the show. Luis Bowden's the name. It's the game.

0:14We can actually use these words on here because like the old finds it uncomfortable. You said drill. Well, no, I'm CEO of Raw Dogging. I'm officially CEO of Raw Dogging. What's your favorite way to drill a poon? The poon, there's many ways. There's many ways. I like to go in from the side angle where you have the leg one leg over there and one under between your legs damn and it's like you're riding a fucking horse they call that the sloth if you were to breed two that's the nae nae if you were to breed two footballers together to make the perfect footballer and make them have sex and produce a baby oh like a super player who would be the super player probably Jason Coombe and Mark Vaduka what about you I'd take Javi B and Lukaku What, how big is your bae?

1:01How big is your beer? How big is your love? Boys, of course, thank you very much to Double for sponsoring the show. Do, do, do, do, do. Oh, money, money. I lost all my bets on the weekend. Aha! I had a few good winners, which not many people ended up copying, which that's your own fault because you're losers. But you can get£10 in free bets when you use the code PITTSIDE. Yeah, you just need to bet£10 once you do that and you're going to get three bets right into your account and there's no restrictions. You can just bet on it, whatever you want. So it's pretty beastly. All the sports. You've got the darts, you've got the football.

1:34Don't forget Cheltenham's coming up. Cheltenham's coming up. Cheltenham, Cheltenham, Cheltenham is here again. So yeah, basically, if you want to join the banter rooms, which Lewis lives in because he's got no friends, if you want to laugh at our losing bets or if you want to copy our winning bets, there's not many of his. There's quite a few of mine. So come on. The aliens are a monster. Come and follow us. Come and get involved. It's not your normal sports book. You're boring. Oh, she's going to place a bet. No, no. Let's come and have a laugh, my G. Let's connect, my G. So yeah, make sure you use code PitchSider when you download Dabble.

2:06Bet£10. You get£10 in free bets. It's 18 plus only. New customers only. T's and C's apply. Please gamble responsibly at bgamblerware.org. Right, this week. Hollers up, bitch. Oh, the Admiral is back. They call me Elvis. You've been at Elvis ain't dead. Have you heard? No. I heard it on the radio. Yeah, no, he's doing a gig over in America. I heard it on the radio. I've seen it ages ago. I told you about this, actually. Anyway, yet again, we don't know the scores from this week. I would probably have lost again. And this week, we're back with... Psycho Juice. Yeah, I didn't agree to this. I didn't agree.

2:45I want to be on the record. I didn't agree to ghost pepper sauce. That's going to tear my arse all over. It's not going to be that bad. Do you all have any idea how many shits I've had today alone? My arse is bleeding. Why would I wonder that? Well, you should wonder, Wal, because you're a big fan. I've been shitting nonstop, and there's been more blood than poo when I wipe. I think that's an issue. Well, it is. I'm dealing with it, and I don't think the cure is ghost pepper sauce. Maybe you've got, what are they called? Hemorrhoids. Yeah. Anal prolapse. We convinced our teacher at school that when my mate was off, he had an anal prolapse.

3:18That's pretty horny. Is that the same teacher that you used to go into the back of the bike sheds with? No, no. That was the caretaker. Oh, he's just reminiscing. Good times. Memories. Right, let's get into last week's scores. And also, this week, it's a double game week. Yay! I love double game week. Oh, my God. Thank God. So next week, when there's no show, shut the fuck up. Don't DM us. But where's the prediction show? There's no fucking games There's no games You can't just come in here and just do this without games That's not against the rules Literally It's quite literally against the preface of the show It's every week Not every week It's every week There's so many footy games at the moment As you can tell we are absolutely fucking Bum diddly buzzing for the double game week And let's rock and roll my G's Right it's the first game of the weekend And also I just want to preface this I don't score the games Okay What do you mean?

4:24So on our screen here It tells us Below each game The ongoing score We need to go back To that score So if there's If there's mathematical issues It's not fucking me But that means I might not have lost That second week Because you must have Miscounted my score Yeah you did And also I called 3-1 Leeds to beat Forest Woah Well done It said That's all you want I said a draw on it I didn't I said three fucking one. That's what, you still won that week. I know, but that was one of the best calls this season. Wow, well done. There you go. Well, yeah, that's what, this is a fucking prediction show. You think when someone predicts something, we celebrate the fucking prediction.

5:03I don't. It's a prediction show. So if we not do the predictions, then it's just a fucking show.

5:13Oh my God. He's going to fucking explode. Right, so Villa 1-1, we both went into home wins. That's 0-0. Moving on to Brentford v. Bratton. We also both went for home wins and those tricky seagulls. They keep on squawking. They're a bit tricky. Relegate them. Yeah. I think even they won't be relegated. So that made it 0-0 still. Oh, still. Come on. Have you heard about his brother? Ed still. That's what they say to you in the barbers.

5:48I don't go, Babs. Chelsea 1-1 with Burnley. We both predicted home wins. I actually gone and resorted that. So three games in, it's 0-0. Fucking hell. This is the worst that we've ever done. With West Ham 0-0 draw against Bournemouth. You went for an away win. I went for a home win. That makes it 0-0. Oh, my God. We're fucking... Going in to the Man City-Newcastle game. Well, that ended 2-1 to Man City. That ended 2-1 to Man City. I predicted 3-1. you went for a draw which was crazy I was unlucky were you? I mean Barnes almost scored do the release but you didn't release it you didn't oh shit yeah so that makes it 1-0 to me Palace Wolves we both went for a home win that makes it 2-1 to me Liverpool got a last minute winner at Forest I went for 2-0 you went for 2-1 so both again get the point that's 3-2 to me going into Fulham Sunderland however you predicted a 1-0 away win I went for a draw it ended up Fulham 3-1 so that's 3-3 going into the North London fucking Nermy Spurs lost to Arsenal 4-1 because they are corrupt you went for a draw I went for a 2-0 away win so that's 4-3 to me Lewis Golden resorted a Man United 2-1 so that means we're drawing 5-5 so that means I went for a 3-1 away win so that means it's 5-5 both our golden results your golden result worked but one to watch you went for Bruno Fernandes I went for Mbremo Tom wins 6-5 woo

7:30that's ruined me dear that

7:37no mate don't put loads on I'm actually I have work to do today I can't be on the toilet all day mate Mate, it's got ghost pepper in It's not even that bad It is, of course it is Don't put a load on it I'm not gonna You are? That's a fucking load Instantly a load on there We'll drip some off and show the camera that That's not that bad That's a fucking ton, mate This is supposed to be done in droplets If you do some, I'll do some I'll do a big, big dab Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah That's fair, that's fair, that's fair Yeah, that's fair That's fair Don't drip it everywhere No, that's fine, dude Just do that Go on Do it, do it Do it, do it, do it.

8:15I didn't drink to this shit. You've got to do that five minutes for that drink as well. I'm not going to agree to that. Give me that beer for now. Woo! Lewis, just do it. Oh, it's not really, it's really. You've got to do it all. Give me that right now.

8:38I want to try it. It can't be that bad.

8:45That's quite hot. I didn't agree to this shit. It's really not that bad. Anyway, it's time for a double game week. Bitch, you motherfucking bitch. It's time for the motherfucking double game week, motherfuckers. Anyway, is everyone ready? Are you all ready? You ready? I need to wash this to my hand because I'm going to touch my eye. He's not ready. Are you ready? I'm ready. You all ready? Why is there so much extra spit in my mouth? So it makes me have to swallow those. Right, while he's dying, I'm gonna have to do the honors show. And I've got a bit of a better arm than Lewis. As we've all seen.

9:27Let's beneath the Premier League, man. Woo!

9:33Oh, that's all gonna be hot as well now. Oh, no! Where's that come? Shit! Shit! No! Where's that come from? Just to let the viewers know, he's had to run out because he's found a little bit of hot sauce on his hand. Right, moving on to the first game of the weekend. It's on Friday, Friday Night Lights. I'll be honest with you, boys. This is like picking between Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler. Who would you pick? Death, I'd just pick instant death. Who wins in a fight? Between Stalin and Hitler? They were on the island, you know. Probably Stalin. Which island? Release the villain files. No! Keep the files locked!

10:21Right, poo-wee! Oh, that's the villa! Stinky villa fuckers! Horrible brummy bastards! I can't even pick up their fucking bins! Birmingham's a shit-o! But, for one time and one time only, I actually think I want them to get a result because they're going right down Schitt's Creek they're going to the vile, horrible city that some people dare to blurt out Wolverhampton

11:05Why has he only got one? Oh, he's like, oh, I've just realised he'll be angry again now because they've not been winning. He's not a cat. He's not a cat. Also, you look like Mick Ucknell.

11:28That's not me.

11:32Daddy's not me. I'm the Wolverine. Do not, do not find him. Right, the stinky villa bastards are taking on the disgusting, horrible inbred Wolverines at the Molineux. Hey, what the fuck are you? And we're not inbred. Well, what, define inbred. Your father is your mother, your sister is your brother. You all shag one another. Kissing isn't inbred. The Dingle family. We just lick arseholes because that's the way you cover up poo from predators. Is it? Yeah, eat dogger. Wolves eat dog shit so other wolves don't eat you. Yeah, they am. That is fine. Hey, you are what you eat. It burns everywhere in my mouth and face.

12:09It's really not that bad. Do you know what? I'm going to do even more because you're that much of a bitch. I got it around my lips and my chin. I'm doing more. That's not as much as me. I've done two of these now, which is about the same. Put it on the top of your lip and below your lip then. Right, Villa dropped important points at home to Leeds last Saturday. They were pretty lucky, I'd say. They're just going down, really. They've not been very good, have they? Meaning they've now failed to win in three of their last four. Villa have won just five of their last 15 visits from Olyneux. Bit of a bad record, some would say.

12:37You could say they are shit, but beating Arsenal. They drew against Arsenal, actually. Didn't anyone predict that? Who? Wolves. We didn't predict it, did we? Right, you lost. Show it your turn to go first. Wolves versus Villa. Where is he today? Who? Don't say it. Don't worry about it. Don't say it. I don't know what's going on. Do you remember what happened last week, by the way? No, Mick. I'm not Mick. I'm not Mick. No, like... Your... His husband. Your wife is your husband. I'm just saying. Stop being stupid, mate. No one knows what you're on about. You've been really silly. it's your turn to go first I'm not jealous I'm just saying you're being silly though because you're just making things up it's not funny or cool and that is the whole point of the show it should be funny and cool I'm going to say it's going to be Aston Villa Wolves I'm going to say 3-1 Aston Villa Derby Day actually it's the fucking Brabby Derby no it's not do you know what I'm from Aston Villa stop doing that This is tough because I don't think Villa are very good.

13:55But obviously, Wolves are probably the worst thing we've ever seen ever in the history of football. I'm going to get 2-1 Villa. No, 2-0. 2-0 Villa. 2-0. 2-0. 2-0! Right, moving on. We've got a red dot. We've got a simply red dot. It's the Cherries taking on Reggie LeBreeze. A black-a-cata. Bournemouth's draw at West Ham mean they're now unbeaten in seven league games. It's ironic after I called them shit. They've just suddenly... It's actually since we became, since two became one. Bournemouth have actually got it together. The Cherries have lost just two games at home this season. Only Arsenal and City have lost less.

14:30That's actually fucking impressive. I cannae lie. Sunderland have now lost three on the bounce and four of their last five league games. Is the ship a sinking? They are without a win on the road since beating Chelsea back in October. What are you, is this Harry Potter? What's this? I'm the Port. What? The Pope wears like robes. What's the Pope got to do with this? Dunno. You're wearing a sombrero and I was just dressed as a wolf. Yeah. What's your point? But God forbid we get the Pope on here. What's your point? Oh, I get it. The Pope, because Xhaka's back and you think Xhaka's like the Pope of football because he's so good.

15:08He's fucking shit and I told you something fans that you would fall off and now you have and you don't know what you can do. They're all scrambling to try and sack Reggie the shit. Reggie the me. No they're not They are the same They want him out Who are they playing again? It's Bournemouth Up against Sunderland For his Sunderland For his Gary Kyle Man For him No No No Fucking leave No Bournemouth have found some form as well now I've just been through all this Were you listening? No You weren't listening were you? Right it's me to go first I believe that Xhaka is back I think He doesn't know if he'll be back.

15:50I'm going to go with a 2-1 Bournemouth win because I don't predict many 2-1s. What the fuck is going on over there? Score line? I'm trying to cool my nose down. Big heavy weekend, was it, boy? I'm saying 2-1 Bournemouth. I've just said that. I'm in trouble here. I touched the inside of my nose. Lewis, it's really not as bad as you're making it up. It's not bad in the inside of your nose, mate. 2-0 Bournemouth. You're not backing your black cats? They're fucking shit. They're blacker cats. They might get relegated. Aren't they above you? I'm the guff. Goal difference, bitch. Oh, that's fucking embarrassing.

16:26Anyway, moving on to... Oh, this is a good game. NUT! You had me gone. You just got mogged because you support shit teams if you're a Burnley and a Brentford fan. Ha ha, mogged. Yeah, I can say it as well. I know more teams going down, but I've already shut the fuck up. You're about to survive. Well, maybe. We've sacked our manager today. Have you? Another one bites the dust. Nine games, no wins. You got a draw. We did get a draw, but we should have won yesterday. Anyway, talking to teams who are shit, Burnley are without a win in nine games at Turf Moor. Their last win was at home over Leeds in October.

17:07Brentford have won four of their last five away games. And before the Brighton loss, Brentford had collected more points in the last 10 Premier League games than any other team in the division. The Buzzy Bees. Buzzy Bees. Do you know a buzzer's bee is only like... A bee's buzz, you mean? Like, they don't know that they have a stinger. That's not true. A bee doesn't know that it has a stinger, but they're so angry that they get you anyways. No, if a bee stings you, it dies. Because it doesn't know it has a stinger. How do you know the bee doesn't know? Because they don't fly around with authority.

17:43Like that. it's only when they're really did you also hear that apparently bees technically shouldn't be able to fly based on physics it's a myth it's a fucking myth how do you know fucking no shit anyway predictions it's you to go first for this absolute Premier League classic at Turf Moor fucking hell I'm gonna say this is a game that is absolutely Burnley have looked okay lately they've looked I don't want to fucking watch them though yeah obviously you also watch Burnley it's the Premier League fixture of the season nah it's not what's worse er Brighton versus Palace I hate that fixture nothing ever happens I know but more gonna happen than that than this alright Wolves Burnley yeah at least that's a battle of the shit though yeah true erm I'm gonna say Burnley Brighton yeah Brentford are better to watch than Brighton I agree yeah 1-1

18:47I'm going to do something I don't usually do What? I'm going to go for a 2-1 away win Fucking hell you fucking You Apples and pears Apples and pears Come down to the river Come down to the fucking river I'll bury you You

19:15Addy Slot That's what they needed to say his name You fucking bold little You horrible little Fuck you you Addy Slot Is that what Addy Slot says is his own name? Right, as you can tell, it's Liverpool taking on West Ham. That's where we buried fucking Jack. Liverpool have won their last two league games, but both of those came away from home. Away, away in a manger. They have... Because I want life support as a Liverpool manager. West Ham coming to this losing just one of their previous six league games. Some would say they're on an unbelievable run, Arnie. Yes. But West Ham have won just once at Anfield in 62 years.

20:11That was a 3-0 win back in August 2015. For me to go first, but Arnie, what do you think of the game? Yeah, I think... Shut it, you fucking... We're missing a very important aspect. Obviously, we bought the iPhone but not the charger. We need Jacob Murphy. So, until then... What the fuck's Jacob Murphy got through there? Arnie Slott said he bought the iPhone without the charger did he? yeah he actually said that I don't think he did he said that referring to fucking the rat I don't think he did he did you heard him say or you read it or you read it he said it in a press conference he said it he bought the iPhone without the charger and Jacob Murphy was asked about it today and he's like yeah I'm the fucking best now can I go back to my fucking spot on Arnie Slott impression please yeah sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

21:03Imagine this was your manager Genuinely Like you need Inspirational team talk You're playing shit And he's just sat there Breathing like this That's all he fucking does Yeah but it meant You want to get out Of the dressing room And go out He'd give some good head though

21:20Show us how he'd do it Well we don't do that now We're beyond that now Anyway For me to go first I think West Ham's run Comes to an end Liverpool are do you think Slot are weed Ed he's from the Netherlands yeah they all love the ganj he blazes you look like you're from Ensign

21:45that's class that was good that was good that was kind of good man I'm going to go for a 2-0 home win Liverpool West Ham West Ham Liverpool don't look great but West Ham are still shy even though you keep telling me they're fucking amazing I actually had ham as some food yesterday when I was at the game. I go to football matches. Did you go West? They had ham and peace pudding buns, stotties. Nice. Peace, man. Oh, you actually went to a game, didn't you? Well done. Yeah, guys, I go to games. Not plural. I'm going to say... Surely you think West Ham will get something here considering you keep telling me how good they are.

22:26They are. I'm going to say I'm really torn between saying a draw. I feel like I'm torn. 1-1. I'm so out of faith. This is how I feel. I'm calling out to say I'm naked on the floor. No, there's writing on the wall. No, I'm lying naked on the floor. There is writing on the wall. I'm saying 1-1. Get a load of this guy. I think Villa are back on a brand new track. They're playing beast mode. They've got momentum. They're going to stay up. It's my stamp. Who did I say? Villa. He's in me. Oh, not again. Anyway, we're moving on to your boys. Fucking Italian is all mine. I'm fine. Fucking Italian is all mine.

23:16This is handy. Well, we're nifty handy, but what was it you were singing? Handy, nifty, no bots. We like to do our jobs. Oh, wow. He looks like he's been electrocuted. Do you know what I've been electrocuted by? Our exciting football at Newcastle United. Champions League, you're our bitch. We're the team that scored the most Champions League goals this season. Is that possible? It's a real start. To do with the fact you've played two more games than most teams and those two games were against the worst team ever. Irrelevant. They drew against Chelsea. Yeah, but what? They drew against Chelsea.

23:52We fucking did them in the ass. Yeah, but you're way better than Chelsea. Exactly. we're going to go I have a theory we're going to win the Champions League do you know it really backs your point up when you look like that when you say things like that I think we're going to win the Champions League you definitely do not look mental there's nothing wrong with how I look and my thoughts I'm speaking eloquent English like Mr. H.S. Tiki-Toki I have a stupendous vocabulary stupendous yeah I'm on business meetings all the time yeah but the investors aren't happy with you mate the investors are really happy they've heard what you've been doing no that's alleged I wasn't on the island No you weren't You know you were Flashing yourself Down the fucking High Street the other day That has to stop Doesn't it Does it That has to stop Seriously Friend to friend That has to stop Okay You need to stop flashing I always kind of Knew that as well Yeah So I think I just needed someone Because like We all like a laugh and a joke We can all have a push and a pull That has to stop So this has to stop Yes This has to stop More so the lower end Oh okay Yeah Good lad What do you think of this game because Newcastle have struggled at St.