BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 26

0:00Welcome back to the Greatest Show on Earth! And what might that show be called, Tom?

0:09I think show. Oh shit, yeah, it's the Bringson Show. The Bringson Show! Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen. It's a big one this week, why is that? Off-might, have you had a hair transplant? No. What do you think, no, it's always like this. Is it a perm? Off-might, is it a perm? I'm sorry, are we going to cut this? Is it a perm? It's always been like this. I know what you do. Shut up. I know what you do. It's always been like - Have you put cream in it? Yeah, I put cream. Okay. Right, before we get into it. Double. Do, do, do, do, do. Ah, money, money. Do, do, do, do, do. But that can't go in.

0:45Also, off mic. Yeah? There we are. Yeah, they're out here. Guys, I know you're watching right now. The CEOs are floating out. The CEOs are behind the camera, staring at us. You think, well, right, they're there, because apparently - Please download it. Download it now. Everyone has to download it. Apparently the goon is causing some issues. Everyone needs to download Dabble right now. Right this second. And we are going to be on our list. Otherwise the show stops. You get£10 in free bets, then you bet£10 in use code Pitchside. Pitchside. Everyone, please, please. Do you want something really cool?

1:18What? And I actually did this and I milked my friend's group chat. I was the first one to put my own personal Dabble link into the group chat, which meant I got£10 whenever they staked real cash. So I've raked in tons of free bets So if you want to be that guy Be the first one to get a dabble in your friend group And you lost it all And you lost it all Because you give all your bets to lose We lived the dream We lived the dream But if you want to copy my bets Some of mine land Some Sometimes maybe good Sometimes maybe shit But yeah You do need to be at Ian Plus It is gambleaware.org New customers only TNCs do apply And do use the code pitchside When you fucking do it otherwise I'm dead!

1:58Right, let's review last week's game! Oh baby! Have you checked? I haven't checked ever. I actually haven't checked. I've stopped. You need to check in to a mental asylum. So you need to check in. Also, I thought you've been going to the gym. I haven't been going to the gym. How are you getting... Show him the... Oh my god, it nearly fell off. I do 25 minutes of belly rolls.

2:32Okay, let's get into last week's games. I'll tell you what. What was that? What the hell just happened? I was 15-14 coming into this week, boys, because he's a fucking idiot. By the way, you had a bigger lead than that at one point. You were like four points ahead. To be fair, the Admiral's been fucking me right off the whole time. What were you going to say? Whoa! He's been trying to dodge it for me. Anyway, Burnley Bournemouth was a fucking thriller. Yeah. Nil-mil. I predicted a 3-1 away when you actually went for a 1-1 draw. And it ended with a little 1-0 for me because I know football. Well, I do.

3:11So shut up. I do. Sunderland lost 1-0 to Brighton. You shit! And I tell you what! And I tell you what! You're going to get fucking done in. I told you. I told you. You're going to fall off a fucking cliff. You shit. That's not the fucking disco ball. Jesus. No. Leave that thing alone. That's the disco. Disco stew comes in when that comes on. What's that? You know. I don't know. You fucking know, mate. Anyway, you're laughing anyway. You're giving it loads. You predicted a draw. Yeah, I psych them out though. whenever I predict them to lose, they win. So what do I do? That is true, actually. I go opposite, baby.

3:52That is true. Yeah, so that stays 1-0 to Lewis because you've both got it wrong. Arsenal beat... Oh, fucking hell. Yeah, what happened in this one again, Tom? I can't remember what I predicted. By the way, I was the moral winner in this. Yeah, yeah. Tom's the moral winner, but I'm the real winner, so fuck off. I said 2-1. He said 1-1. It should have been a draw, though. 2-0 to me, mate. Pickford's a fucking idiot. So that's 2-0 to you. Then Newcastle... What the fuck am I doing here? Newcastle won at Chelsea, but Lewis predicted a Chelsea win.

4:23I also went for a Chelsea win, so that stays 2-0. I'll tell you what, this is why you tune in for fucking analysis. West Ham drew with City 1-1. We both got that wrong as well. So that's 2-0 to Lewis going into the Palace Leeds game, where I went for a little 1-1 draw. Yeah, me too. True Geordie? I went, eh? True Geordie? No, I've just been going to your mate. True Geordie? Oh, yeah, she is. True Geordie. You're a bit like True Geordie and Lawrence's love child at the minute. What would they sound like? Brian. Hey guys, it's me, Lars. Brian. No, you sound like fucking Stewie. Does that know what Lawrence sounds like?

5:01Oh, Brian. No, he doesn't sound like that. Sounds like this.

5:08Palace 0, Leeds 0, Armin for 1-1. Lewis went for a 2-1 Leeds win. That's 2-1 to me. Oh, baby! Man United beat Aston Villa 3-1 What the fuck? Tommy Gallo went for a 3-1 win You went for a 2-2 draw That makes it 4-2 to me Because that's a correct score, bitch It is, bitch Don't you call me bitch I referred to myself So going into Forrest Fulham Oh my god Fuck me I'm like Who am I like? What the fuck's going on? I'm like Big Bucks Do you remember the horse? Big Bucks Just stays on Stays on Stays on to the bitter end Constitution Hill, yeah So Boris drew 0-0 with Fulham I went for 1-1 you went for a home win so that's 5-2 to me going into Liverpool Spurs which this sums you up because on the on the stream you were saying I have a fucking feeling for Spurs man Spurs are going to do it I did but you predicted 3-1 Liverpool that was the Admiral ah shalom yeah shalom Jackie I went for 3-0 I think I got and resorted that as well did I oh no I didn't oh shit oh shit this is going to get tight so 5-2 to me going into Brentford Wolves I predicted 3-1.

6:13You went for 1-1. Down the street. Golden result. Keep on. Which makes it 5-4 to Lewis. My one to watch was Igor Thiago, who got six points. Yeah. You went for Super Sly. Yes! Boo! You got 11. Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's a complete draw. The three options are half a point each. Never. I'll never give him shit! Two. Zero points each. I'm willing to discuss this. Or three. Kiss! A fight to the death. I prefer kiss. Or four. Kiss. I'll give you an option four, right? Kiss. If you kiss the horse, I'll give you the point. I'm not kissing the horse. Kiss the horse. I don't want to kiss the horse. Kiss the horse.

7:06What do you mean? Define kiss the horse. A five second kiss. No, I'm not kissing the horse. Five seconds. Kiss the horse. No, I'm not doing it. Kiss the horse. Or. Why are you bringing them all in? Why, why are you bringing them all in? What do you mean by that? What do you mean bringing them all in? Yeah, they don't like, they don't like, they don't like it. They don't look, they're all shaking their heads. They're writing things down on their notepads. Look at him. Look what you've done to this boy. His eyes look sad. Wait, Louis, kiss the horse. How long for? Five seconds. I'm not kissing him for five seconds.

7:36Three seconds. No. Three? You just said how long and you're just saying no? I'll kiss him on his lips here. Yeah, go on. Kiss the horse. Kiss the horse and you win. Just a little peck, though. Kiss the horse. Just like a little muah. There's nothing else. Kiss the horse. Nah, I'm not doing well. I'm having the point. Kiss the horse. I'm not kissing the horse. I'm not kissing the fucking horse. Half a point. Half a fucking point. No, zero. That makes it hard to follow. I just think zero. Or it's half a point. It's in football. It goes one-one. What, perhaps it is? Nah. No, definitely not. Cocked on dentist.

8:07It's fucking half a point. We need a proper fucking actual leaderboard for ball knowledge. That's what this is. It's a tight race right now. Fuck. How about we get a point each then? I think just half a point. It misleads it. Half a point. Then you might win by half a point at the end of the year. It's fucking tight as fuck. Yeah, go on then. Whatever. I might think if I kiss the horse. Oh, kiss the horse. I'm not kissing the fucking horse. Kiss the horse. How about no? How about no? Kiss the horse. Right. That's it. So the forfeit is. There's no forfeit. Because we put none of us lost. The forfeit is.

8:37There is no forfeit. The forfeit is we've got to change shirts. Yeah, but it is still 15 and a half to 14 and a half to Mr. Ball knowledge right here. I ate halves. Well, how about this? It winds up in... Get better at the game. It winds up in... What? We drew? Yeah, but I'm a point ahead, mate. So fuck off. By the way, we only drew because of the one to watch which I bought in for your benefit. For my benefit. I've been winning. You have actually not led this entire season. That's not true. You genuinely haven't led the entire season. I lead men into battle every week. on this show. Hola, como estas?

9:12Mi nombre es Domás. Vamos a predicar la Premier League, man! I don't know!

9:28Come here!

9:32Come here!

9:39Kiss the horse. Alright then, Mr Gymnast. That was a bit of a weird intro. What went on there? I don't know. Also, you're banned from being within 50 yards of gymnasiums. Gymnasiums is different from gymnastic halls. I'm allowed near gymnasiums, not gymnastic halls, between the hours of 7 to 8 on Tuesday nights. I apologise. I really apologise. Don't forget, because I can't forget legally. Otherwise, I'm in some bother. Yeah, well, yeah. Anyway, moving on to this week's game week. Game week. Oh, we've got a Friday night game. We're there. Oh, see you later. Who's that? Me. Willy Wonka. It's the Admiral.

10:34Do you think he touched the Oompa Loompas? Allegedly No, but genuinely break it down Like this guy was secluded in a forest Went and found the Oompa Loompas Took them home And he didn't have any other relationships He was fucking them He was fucking the Oompa Loompas It's actually kind of fucked And well Horny Horny Very horny Mate, do you know who you look like? What? Slash

11:03What band's he from? Metallica No, he's not Where's Slash from? Metallica Guns N' Roses, yeah What song? What do I look like? Give me one of their songs I can't see Oh

11:17Oh, sweet child of mine She's got a smile And it seems to me Reminds me of childhood What the fuck have you done? What? You gone poo-poo? Has Lewis had a poo-poo? Shut up, shut up, cut that Did you have a poo-poo? Did you actually go poo-poo? What the fuck are you... Smell to do do Mate, you're like Doofy off Scary Movie My F Right, Man United, Bournemouth Fernandes has overtaken David Beckham's record with his 15th and 16th assists of the season in the last game. Can I call bullshit on this guy? The most from a Man United player in a single Premier League campaign. Call it, baby. Hi, guys. Sideshow Bob here.

12:00No, Slash. Put your hat on. Put your fucking hat on. He has only got seven assists in open player. Kiss the horse. No. Why? Why does it matter? Is that not crap? No, I think... I think it's crap. I hate assists in open play or not in open play, to me, don't matter. Do you not think it's a sign of how times are changing? Maybe, but I mean... It is a bit because every other person in that list, every single one of them on similar numbers, theirs are Omar in open play. So it shows, even if it's against him because that's how football is, but it shows on paper the shift. Or maybe he's just a great set-piece taker and a great delivery taker.

12:40Do you think he's the best set-piece taker on that list? Because I don't. Possibly not. That's what I mean. I feel like it's a sign of the times, as Harry Styles would say. Yeah, obviously a lot more goals are being scored from set pieces, but it's not like when you say open play goals because basically what people mean by that is penalties, and penalties are basically a pretty high chance of scoring. No, but this is about assists, though. Yeah, I know. So my point is, a non-open play assist is still pretty impressive. You've still got to deliver a ball perfectly. Nah, not perfectly these days.

13:11You just lump it in the area. I'm just saying. I'm playing devil's advocate. So why haven't Arsenal got, why hasn't Declan Rice got that many? He's not as good as my answer. He is very good, clearly. I'm just throwing out questions. I think you've been really picky. And Carrick has six successive home wins, but not wins in general. Otherwise, that guy would have shaved his head. Where's he gone, by the way? Oh, Carrick? No. The hair boy? Hairy boy? Chimp boy? Oh, the other one called Chimp Boy. Amaroum? No, the guy with the hair. There's so many people who have hair. The one who was going to cut his hair if United won.

13:46Oh, he's right. Yeah, him. This is me. United Strand. What is he doing? Frank Lett. Lillette. It's a fucking long day for Frankie Boy, isn't it? Yeah. It's just like, I feel like everyone's kind of like, I can't be arsed anymore. He's probably like, I can't be arsed. I can't even be fucking arsed, man. 1.5 million followers. What the fricky? That's how big Man United are, mate. They're a proper big club. Anyway, Manchester United are taking on Bournemouth. Bournemouth are now beaten in 10 consecutive top flight games, but they have drawn five of the past six, Lewis. Rock, Bob, Scissors, who goes first?

14:20Rock, Bob, Scissors, shoot. You win. You go first. I'm going to say 2-1 Man United. I know, guys, 2-1 is a rare one for this show, but sometimes we have to go against the grain. And let me talk to you about grains. Let me tell you about a little team called Leicester City. Leicester City know things. Have you heard what's going on there? No. Bad things. If you don't know, you don't know. 3-1 Man United. Copying me a little bit, but that's fine. Saturday, though, Diff and Gravy, Brighton and Hove, Albion against Liverpool. Liverpool have conceded 15 goals from the 75th minute onwards, obviously off the back of a terrible, terrible result against Tottenham.

15:03And that is the sign of the times, Harry Styles. No, what is this? What do you think Liverpool conceding that often means? Tell me what it means, genie. So you can break it down to two things. Tell me. You can say, is it fatigue? Kiss the horse. And then, no. And then also, is it panic and concentration and composure? I like to come over... What the fuck do you know, you stupid specky onion? That's new. They've won just two away against in 2026 Liverpool. They lost at Wolves last time round. They are shit. There's your analysis of Liverpool, all right? Why you You need to swap over No No seriously No No it's I've done How many times have I done it Alright kiss the horse then That's not my That's not part of the job Yeah it is It says there Lewis kiss horse Mate I was playing with toilet paper I do the gravy stuff Like this is your part of the bargain It says Lewis kiss horse It doesn't say that there And even if it did I can't molest a horse It's not good Mate this is it But you'll fuck a dog Stop Deeper the conversation You fuck the dog That wasn't me.

16:09And also you did it and watched. No, I didn't. You did it. Stop derailing it. I rang the RSPCA. I'm not doing it. Oi. I'm not doing it. I'm actually not doing it this time. I know you're doing your role. And then we cut to me looking stupid. I'm not doing it.

16:29It's Brighton. I can't hear you actually. Can you speak up? Can you speak up, please? It's Brighton. doesn't sorry doesn't sound like a bird voice there it sounds like you I want you in character it's Brighton nope again no do the voice do the bird voice do a bird voice caca caca give me your chips and a high pitch it's like a seagull's like pitchy screech it's screechy you're pushing you gotta just do it you gotta just do it 2-1 Brighton go on the seagull This is the who? The seagull. Who's a good birdie? Does Polly want a cracker? That's a fucking parrot. Just do a high-pitched voice. No. Please.

17:20Please, do a high-pitched voice. Caw-caw. Do a high-pitched... Do a little... Yes, I think it's going to be two ones. Caw-caw-caw-caw. No. Go on. Kiss the horse, I don't know. No, that's not part of it. There it is. I'm making it a part of it. It's not part of it. Give us your prediction. You guys slash here.

17:43Squawk, squawk. I think it's going to be...

17:502-2. Fucking hell, a Patricia after all that. 2-2. Come on, do a squeaky voice. Give me some chips. Get up and do a squeaky voice. No. They'd want not...

18:03Oh, it's my fabulous cottage. They are not so fabulous at the minute. No, they've fallen off a little bit. I don't know why. I don't know if it's to do with the prediction show at all. What's your favourite Prosecco? Prosecco. I like Sauvignon Blanc. Not a Prosecco. Chateau Neuf de Pop. Not a Prosecco. I don't know any. Books Fizz.

18:32Oh, we fucking love Fallon. I love the cottage And I love my cottages But I tell you what They've been fucking shit lately What's going on? It's fucking hot in there What the F is going on my G? Because I tell you what my slime Raw Where's my backy? You're being Major Raz Clark right now My work one Because I tell you what If they ever Ever Saw me on the King's Road I'd fucking tell them I'd tell them straight Go and get me my fucking cheese board Go and get me a fucking olive because I'm naughty. I think I broke my glasses. I think I broke my glasses. I don't know how this happened. What do you want about?

19:13They're not broke. I look like Ozzy Osbourne. No. Shaman. Shaman. They're up against Burnla. Burnla. Oh, that's Leeds. We have nothing going on, so I have nothing to imitate because it's Burnla. Did you know if you were your ex-boyfriend? Oh, yes. Jordan, give me a call. The slam out of the City ground was Fulham's first league draw since the 4th of January. During the intervening period, they have won four and lost five of their nine league fixtures. Is a wookie a bear? Just one win in 21 Premier League matches now leaves Burnley eight points of drift of safety. At the fucking cottages. I can't wait to go and have a Prosecco bar the river.

20:03Who do you think's the most attractive footballer in the Premier League? Everyone who plays for Fulham. I would say... Because they are fabulous. Do you know what? Call me crazy. Emile Smith-Raw. What? Actually, yeah, bitch. Actually, Beto. Right. Actually, Barry. Yeah, Barry. Barry White. Or Barry from EastEnders. Both. We're going to do it anyway. We're going to do it anyway. We're going to do it anyway.

20:41Oh, no.

20:49Oh, I'm going to say, guys. I'm a man of many talents. Do you want to see my seal impression? Right.