BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP.3, S2

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0:16Still speak English No that's like Which football are you more suspicious About being a footballer and an alien George Hurst I think Cole Palmer's got to be an alien No George Hurst Because there's no other way he'd be a professional footballer Unless he's like Some sort of Or he's money laundering That's true Moneyball Guys, welcome back to the Prediction Show, where we make predictions and only predictions, and that's about it. It's Football Punditry at its very finest and at our very best. And make sure you download Dabball and use the code PIZZOI, because when you do, and you bet£10, you're going to get£10 in free.

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1:22Lewis just fucked a horse dressed as a rabbit. Is it a rabbit or is it a bunny? A little bunny. I can't see, but I've got a mouth hole. Look, you're a little... Oh, I hope that picked up the noise. So let's review game week two. It was 1-0 to Lewis going in to this. The first game of the weekend was Man City 4, Palace 1. We both predicted an away win, so we both get one point there. Liverpool drew with Forest. I went with a home win. You went with an away win. So no points there. It's 1-1. Bournemouth drew with Everton 1-1. You went with a 2-1 Everton win. I went with a 1-1 draw. So that's 4-1 to me.

1:58Coventry lost a home to Hull 1-0. I predicted a home win. You predicted a draw. So that's still 4-1. Before you continue, I've seen a comment. It's a great idea, and I think we should backlog it from last week and include it this week. The loser each week gets sore ass. Okay, deal. We've got a goal. But that means you owe me sore ass. Okay. But I think we used three shots. Yeah, yeah. Spurs lost at home to the Geordie boys. Lewis actually predicted a 2-0 win. I went with a home win. So that's 4-4 going into Chelsea, Brighton. I got and resorted 3-1. Lewis just said 2-0. So that's 6-5 to me. Going into Leeds, Brentford, 1-1.

2:33I predicted a draw, 2-2. Lewis went with an away win. That's 7-5 to me. Going into Sunderland, 1-0. I predicted 1-0. Lewis predicted a 2-1 away win. That's 9-5 to me. Man United beat it. It's 5-2. I went with a draw. Lewis went with a home win. That's 9-6 to me. Villa lost at home to Arsenal, 1-0. Lewis did golden result of 3-0. I went with 2-0. That's 10-7 to me. So I win this week. So it's 1-1. Let's get into Red Ass.

3:12That's the end of the line! It's over the line! It's the end of the line! That's it! Ah! Woo! Oh! Ah! Yes!

3:28Woo! Yes! Woo! Woo! Woo!

3:38That means I get an extra point for this week's I hit ya. So there we have it, Lewis now has a red arse, you're welcome. It stings like a butterfly but touches like a bee. By the way. Without further ado. Are we ready? Everyone ready, set, go. We're getting through this boys, we're ready to go.

4:04I'm the Easter Bunny, I'm the Insta Bunny. I'm the Easter Bunny. Fuck the wheel. I'm the Easter Bunny. I'm the Easter Bunny. No, no, with more like, more hips. I'm the... I'm dragging the wheel. You just did. You just did. He fucked the wheel. This can't be how this show goes. He fucked the wheel. I can't just turn off. Turn off. And then I'll just, I get a costume and it's like, go on then. I'm like, go on then what? You just fucked the wheel, mate. Kiss the horse. I feel like I'm freeing this outfit. Why don't you kiss the horse? No, no, no, no, no, no. Go and kiss the horse. No, why not shag you?

4:42You're really sweaty. Yeah, this thing's hot. Right, first game of the weekend. It's a Friday night fixture. Liverpool are taking the long trip. It's a long old trip down to East Anglia.

5:06You just said you don't want to be doing that I don't want to be doing this I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing So why are you doing it?

5:15Liverpool are taking the long trip to East Anglia Where they are going to be taking our new friends of the show An absolute cult hero now It's the Tractor Boys

5:43Yeah

5:55Yeah, I'm out of the tracks, boy. I don't back down from a fight. Only Chelsea and Bryan have produced a higher tally of goals than the 10 produced in Ipswich's matches. Dating back to last season, Liverpool are without a clean sheet in their last eight Premier League matches. They've conceded 15 goals in their last eight Premier League encounters. Liverpool, you'll never walk alone. No, they don't sound like that. They sound like, I'm from Ireland. You'll never walk along. Oh, you're saying all the fans are Irish? Yeah. Oh, wow. It's a clever joke. Ipswich have started well, by the way. They look decent at Man United in the first half.

6:37And CISO looks good. Oh, hello, Admiral. Good. Liverpool-Ipswich. It's a tricky one. And CISO could do them some damage, you know.

6:49What? It's just a fucking echo in here. Did you see that? Yeah. That's ball knowledge. Raz Clark no actually and I also think Liverpool are quite fractured but I believe and Rogue Turkey I think they're going to start Victor Munoz on the right they did the other day no they didn't start him they brought him on didn't they no he started oh he did well as well he scored yeah I predicted this from a start you know do you know how I knew he was good because he was about to sign for Newcastle I'm going to say 2-1 Liverpool I was going to go yeah but I went in first I'm going to go I'll go 3-1 Liverpool Bit too much quality in the end I think it's just you'll give them a game And then just the quality Shines through Isaac Brace Moving on to the early game on Saturday It's the Cherry Oh do we do the Cherry We haven't got the Cherry Boy Cherry Boy coming soon Oh yeah Knock that down Cherry Boy coming soon They are taking a big long trip To a place where they usually do well Where's that?

7:45It's the Geordie Boys Fogging the tines on mine on mine Newcastle have not beaten and the Cherries in the pen for six years. Bit of a bogey team, but that was under Howe. And Howe couldn't play against the Cherries. He couldn't pop that puss. Bournemouth have taken one point from two league games after conceding late against both City and Everton. Newcastle haven't been defeated in five of the last six league matches at St. James'. Some would say it's a bit of a fortress, especially with Yasel. Mr. Yasel? I'm Sven Bartman.

8:23Where have you been? Sven? I've been protecting the world of St. James' Park. The Newcastle defence has never been more secure.

8:33Yeah, you did keep a clean sheet the weekend. You thought I was shit after my ACL injury. No, no, no. Did you play? Did you play? Yeah, I've been playing. Yeah, Dan Burton's injured. Sven Bradman. What's your favourite part about St. James' or Gotham or whichever? I like the toilets. Yeah? Shit goes down in the toilet. It does, it does go down. It gets flushed away. Do you want to give a rousing speech to your fellow professionals for this? I don't want to do it in the Batman voice. Do a normal voice then. And scene. Okay, who are we playing? You've got Bournemouth. Cue the music. I know what you're thinking.

9:13Every single time I'm gonna be wrong. No, no. 2-0 Tottenham. What's that I taste in the air? The blood of my enemies. You're... Don't look at me like that. I like it. The cherry boys are gonna get us seen to him. That red juice is gonna flow like the river of the Nile. None can compete with Yasser. I thought you weren't doing the Batman voice. Well, I'm dressed as Sven Batman, so I feel like it's all over the gaff down the morning. Yeah, we can't just rock up and do it. It's good. It's good. Carry on. I don't know what to say. Maybe cry. We've done everything. There's something that I do. What do you want from me?

9:58What do you want from me? We want a rousing speech of what you're going to win. Now. Do it. Perform, monkey. I actually don't have anything. You do. I don't. With this one, you can't just be like, right, put Batman on, send Batman speech. I haven't got it. I don't know what you want me to say. I've done everything. You're an actor, comedian, bodybuilder. You can do it. The bodybuilder's bit. Exactly. So do it.

10:25Aye. We're going to give you hell out there, boys. I'm not convinced. Not convinced at all. You cherry boys going to get a scene to you like you've never seen before. It just doesn't feel like you mean it. Yeah, you thought you could beat Eddie Howell. It doesn't feel like you mean it one bit. I'm going to get you, boys. I'm going to see you down the tunnel as well. and we're going to run you over. You're definitely going to lose. I can see you. Going to kill your dog. Kill all the dogs. Don't like it. I'm not feeling it. Why didn't you do something then? Because I don't want them to win. I want you to lose.

10:58Why? Funny. I'm not feeling it, mate. You've got to give me more than this. You want this team to win. Do you want Newcastle to win or do you want them to burn into obscurity? Do you want them to get relegated? Do you want them to fail? don't want to finish this season on four points. That's all you're on at the minute. You could have had six. You could have had six. And if you win this weekend, you go on to seven. But if you don't, you'll be stuck on four. Yeah. We're going to kill you all! Oh, baby, I've been waiting and praying for times like this. You thought we were getting relegated. Tottenham, you little slimy **** bags.

11:40To gnarly, you spaghetti-eating monster. Get dicked on, motherfucker. We're Newcastle United. We're in a title charge. I've never been this horny and erect in my life for the game of football. Look at the size of the sphere that comes from within. I will thrust it. We will pound it. We're going to do things for you that the Premier League has never, ever seen before. So I've got a message for you. It's Yasser our time. Cheers.

12:15Oh no! Oh! Get ready for what's coming to you.

12:27Oh my god! I've got a long last thing I want to say to you.

12:38About get the dick in from a langer bitch. Oh, it's Whistler time. Score. I think we win 3-0. Ooh, bold prediction from a bold man, actually. I'm going to go for... Bournemouth have got a really good record there. I'm going to go for... I'm going to go for... I'm going for Patricia. 2-2 Deuces Deuces Deuces Hey Hey guys Throw up the deuces If you want to get Beef mode This is me when I see the bitches Deuces Oh Well we'll get on to that later Because No we're not going into that again Oh well Now I think I think Bournemouth can get something there They've been They've been decent Under Marco Rose Still got some good players Yeah no but they only ever beat us Because of Eddie Howe And Eddie Howe can't beat Bournemouth Easy Yeah but no We're actually way better Plus we've got Pardo Yeah, but Yassir has never beaten them either.

13:33Yeah, but he hasn't ever lost to them either. Don't do my laugh. Shit, yeah, yeah. This is the thing, right? I actually think we are going to go for a Champions League run this season, and for that, we have to beat people like Bournemouth. And that's normally where we lose a lot of points in our seasons. Look, would you deny that we're in a title charge right now? Yeah, I would. Why? Because you're not good enough. But we're within title reach? It's two games. Well, let me tell you about a team called Leicester City. A little team called Leicester City? Mm-hmm. tell me about them why have you done that why have you done that oh Jesus right moving on it's Reggie Lebreze Sunderland getting their first win of the season they're taking on the Buffy B played the worst team in the world the Buffy B Brentford's going to do a number on them they've got four points in their first two as well Brentford Sunderland have their first shot at European competition since 73 74 when they went out of the cup winners cup in the second round also have you ever seen a mac in my land well you will soon bitch because they've drew them they're gonna get relegated you're not in europe and now they're gonna get relegated how do you feel about by the way they're in the fake europe what telly they're in the fake europe can do it they're on the fake europe i am not doing it by the way they're gonna go on the group stages anyways and get relegated so Are they?

14:58Yeah Really? I can't wait By the way They're shit They're actually shit They only beat the worst team in the league 1-0 They're going to get done in by Brentford They're not the worst team in the league Are they? Fulham Why are you looking at this finger for? Because it's weird What you're doing What am I doing with it? You're being weird You're just a weirdo You're a weird guy You're kind of a weirdo You're weird by looking at it You're fucking free It's me to go first I'm going to go for Brentford 2 Sunderland 1 who's at home Brentford the G tech yo my G come down to the deck yo yo are you guys going to get G teched when you head down here wagwan my G we've just been down at the carnival my wagwan yeah which carnival is that you went in yeah actually yeah we've got a little story so Lewis went to the carnival and was it Saturday yeah and you were brooking off some backs well I can react reenact it so I was yeah POV Lewis at the carnival.

15:54So I was just going down and doing me shopping and that. No, you were blazing. No, I didn't even realise. You were blazing. Yeah, shopping for letters. Anyway, so I was there and I was like, whoa. Someone's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I was like, what? And there's a gal dam here like this. So imagine this is the gal dam. Yeah, shows with the villain. I was like, not today, honey. And then she's like, I was like, whoa, if you're going to pull me into the crowd, hey. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. All the other guys were getting threatened, because I was stealing all their galvan.

16:31Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're over here like, what the hell is what's going on over here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, yo, I don't discriminate, bro. Hey, hey, hey, hey. You wear that, bitch. I remember you buy it.

16:51The magician who also comes as Batman once in a while. Right. I'm going to say 3-1 Brentford. Oh, you think some of them are going to score? 2-0 Brentford. Oh, you think Brentford are going to score? Clean sheet as well. That's my guess, bitch. So next up, we've got Brighton against Leeds. Daniel Farkas, Leeds. The Whites. The Weights Where's Daniel Falker from? Daniel Falker is German My superweights started the season so well Brighton have scored 11 goals in the last three matches They are flying Well, they did get beat They are fab You

17:37Include a 4-0 win Obviously against Villa And then a 4-0 Conference League victory over Tromsø Leeds have taken four points in their first two games I probably should have won against Bremond in the second half, I'm being honest. And they also did the double over Forest in a couple of days. 2-0 in the Carabao Cup as well. Two good teams here. Especially my Leeds. Who are marching on together. I'm not convinced by this Leeds brigade. I'm not convinced. But we pressed. I don't think it's going to last. We pressed so high at Ellen Road. I don't know if it's going to last. Who are they playing again?

18:09They're at Brighton. Oh, shit, yeah. Oh, Brighton look good as well. Do you just go first here as well? Brighton, I think both things look good here. Is that at Ellen Road? Do Brighton play at Ellen Road? The Super Whites play at Ellen Road. Okay, is that the Brighton Hall of Albion Stadium? I'm going to say... Oh, this is an interesting game indeed. I struggle to see a world where Leeds get it done on the road. Well, they got it done on the road in the first game against Forest and then done on the road in their second game in the EFL Cup at Forest. Forest is shit though. How dare you? I hate trees.

18:42Fuck the climate. What if Mr Hey who'd you say that Mr Can't say his name Well He's up there with him Yeah

18:56Yeah you're gonna get You're done now mate You're absolutely done I'm so sorry Go on then I'm going to say A 2-1 Brighton I don't mind that I think Leeds I think this stinks I'm gonna go for another Patricia It's 2-2 It's 2-2 The Super Vites They're going to get another point. Brighton, yeah. Brighton are weird. Brighton are weird. Yeah, they're just a tough team to call. Are they going to do anything this season? Are they just going to chill about, like, ninth? Well, I didn't want to say anything, but they've been... They're in talks. With who? What about? You know what. No. You know what. No, don't...

19:33Next up is fucking Fulham. I like the old Fulham. Fulham! I like the old Fulham. It's a fucking London derby as well. They're taking on the Eagles. There's a London derby every fucking week, isn't there? I fucking love a cheese board, you c***. Do they even, like, enjoy this derby? Don't you just fucking love a walk round Hammersmith? I've never been. I fucking love it. I love beer. Anything else? Yeah, what? Penis.

20:06No, no. I fucking love, like, women. Women and beer and nuts. Nuts. And cheese balls. Well, no, well, maybe a glass of vino, but... Who are they playing? I love fighting as well. Who are they playing? They're playing Palace. Sorry, we're playing Palace. Oh, this is a game of the... This is literally the battle of the shit. El Chittico. I know you fucking say that about my club. You ain't gonna do nothing Bear Grylls. I fucking am. We're really fucking naughty. Oh, what are you gonna do? Pound my fucking tight arse all out? Oh, what are you gonna do? You're gonna bend me over and put a finger - a fish hook in my mouth and start ramming me in the arse, are ya?

20:47Is that what you're gonna do? You horny fucking scumbag. Is that what you're gonna do? Oh, I'm gonna - No! Urgh! Urgh! Urgh! Urgh! I fucking hate that. I hate it. Although, a brew dog on the train to an away day is fucking lovely. followed by a fucking fight.