BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 30

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0:54Boys, welcome back to The Prediction Show. Thank you very much for joining, boys. Before you start doing, like, your double s*** off, because we've got something really secret we have to say amongst this Dabble ad, so don't you leave. What? I'm trying to get them to not skip the ad. Say it then. They're getting clever. Say the ad. Quick one before we get back into it. Today's episode is brought to you by Dabble. Why are you doing it like it's an actual ad, like we're doing on Pitchside, you big freak? I am. This is what we have to do. You look like Zach Dingle. I'm Chris Eubank Sr. Cain Dingle, actually.

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3:01What the fuck is going on? Right, welcome back to the Great Show on Earth. We are going to go over last week's predictions after Lewis gets down. By the way, it's the best he's ever looked. You look like Crocodile Dundee. Crocodile Dundee? Yeah, a bit like Crocodile Dundee, my G. Right, let's have a look at last week's game week. Okay, so last week's ended a draw, apparently. What the hell are you talking about right now, mate? So we're up to 17. It's 17 to you, 16 to me. Current score. Moving on to last week's predictions. Game week 34. Sunderland lost to Forest 5-0. I predicted a home win. You predicted a draw.

3:38That makes it 0-0, Luke. Indeed, it does. But you look like fucking... You look... Macaulay Culkin now.

3:47Right, that made it 0-0. Moving on. Fulham versus Aston Villa. Fulham, of course, won 1-0. We both predicted draws, so it's still no points either. Oh my god! Don't spoil it, you have to read it. You have to fucking read it! Palace lost to Liverpool 3-1. I predicted 3-1. You're doing that again? Well, you have to kill time somehow. So that made it 6-0 to me. 6-0 to Tommy Gannett. But then Lewis got a correct result. West Ham beat Everton 2-1. I predicted an away win. That makes it 6-3. Then Wolves lost to home to Spurs. I predicted an away win. Lewis predicted a home win. That makes it 7-3 to me, going into Arsenal, Newcastle.

4:28I predicted a home win. Lewis predicted an away win, golden result. That makes it 8-3 to me. Man United beat Brentford 2-1. I predicted 2-1. Am I a fucking genius or what? That makes it 11-3 to me. The ones to watch didn't matter. I win. Oh, my God. I just remember what this week's forfeit is. Remember what he said last week? Oh my god, it's Pete Burns.

5:01You've got to eat that now. The forfeit of this week was you've got to eat cold soup, apparently. How are you going to do it with that? Give me a fucking soup! Give me a fucking soup! Tomato. You like tomato soup? I fucking, I do it. Oh no, I know what he's gonna do. Oh fucking hell. I'm quiet. It's very nice.

5:32Anyway, right, is everyone ready? Are you ready? I can't understand the words you're saying. Word and mess. Still can't. Right lads, I think we're all good to go at the moment. Mess cleaned up. Are you all ready behind there? Okay, ladies and gentlemen, get fucking ready because you know what it is. It is Redeeming Premier League, man! What the fuck is that? That smells unreal. You're like my very own... Right, first game of the weekend is Friday, the 1st of May. The merry month of May, the merry month of May. Leeds, Burnley, Leeds, Burnley, Burnley obviously already down. Wolves are also down.

6:18with them in the championship next season. See you next season, you fucking claret fuckers. Scott Parker has guided his side to just four wins all season. Pathetic. It's not pathetic. He's done a good job. Has he? I don't see the point of them going to sack him now when, like, if you're going to get rid of him, sack him earlier. Like, I presume they kept him this long because he's like, oh, he'll just get us back up at least. But now you're already relegated and then they'll sack him. I think they were waiting to see if he did actually take them down. But, like, they were always heading that way, weren't they?

6:46They spent quite a lot of money in the summer, didn't they? On fucking Brogia? Do you know what's pissed me off about Brogia? He's linked to Barcelona. If Brogia goes to Barcelona, I can't say what I wanted to say. It's been reported. It's been reported. There's also things being reported about you. I've seen signs. I've seen reports of you. Yeah, good ones. No. Bad ones? Sprayed on park benches. What do you think this tastes like? Go on, try it.

7:13What are you doing? You should try it. It's shaving foam.

7:22Do you want some? No, I'm all right. Right, Leeds bonus, you just go first, because you lost, you big loser. Leeds and Burnley. You big chicken fucking loser. It's Dr. McTurkey to you. Is that a turkey or a chicken? I'm a Leeds fan. Oh, well, Leeds actually have something to fight for, and it's at Ellen Road, so I'm going to say... Could drag you into a relegation battle here. They could go above you. Yeah that would be a nine I'm going to say 2-0 Oh wow You're so out there Aren't you buddy I'm playing to win bitch I'm going to say 3-1 Leeds Leeds Leeds Matching Together We're matching Together though Yeah they lost the final Come together What did you say 3-1 Okay Do you like that Nah Do you like that bitch Nah they won't score that Hey bitch do you like that I'm not a bitch don't call turkey make a chicken that Saturday though 3 o 'clock kick off it's Brentford versus West Ham West Ham it's a fucking London Derby you c*** West Ham on some of the best form of their lives Callum Wilson the hero is that true yeah it's up there the playing class though 8th on the form charts under in the new year God you're good at this Bowen's two assists do you think they should have sold Bowen in January no not now what do you reckon Brentford all they do is draw at the moment.

8:43They haven't won in six games. They literally lost last night. Yeah, no, but except for that, they've just been drawing all the time. They lost last night. Who scored for Brentford? Jensen, was it? Yeah. He's class, I like him. Handsome man as well. Preach it. It's a fucking London derby. I feel like West Ham gets some, isn't it? I'm going to go 1-1. Actually, no. 2-1 Brentford. Hmm. I'm going to go... The Batsby B! I'm going to go 1-1, please. Why? Why? Because if I'm right, then you'd be like, oh, that's a dot. I won't. Because I changed my mind. Oh, I thought we got rid of that. Are you sure?

9:20I thought we got rid of that. Sorry, everyone. Are you sure? Oh. Sorry, everyone. Give me that. Sorry, everyone. I should have got that. Give me that. Sorry, everyone. Right, moving on. Oh, no. Uh-oh. Spaghetti-o. Uh-oh. Spaghetti-o. It's the Seagulls. Oh, they're taking a long trip. They're venturing north. They're spreading their wings. They fly, mate. They're migrating north. Fly. For the wet season. Oh, you know it's going to get wet and nasty. No? In fucking dub dub, man. In fucking bisho, man. Newcastle's lost to Arsenal. They're playing Newcastle, if you haven't guessed, at St. Shitty Park.

10:05Don't say that. Actually, the real St. James' Park is down in Exeter. Just letting you know. Yeah, their loss to Arsenal was their ninth. 12 games and they're 4th in a row. I am not joking you. Albion are better than Newcastle. That's how shit they are. Brighton have 6 wins in 8 games leaving them top of the form table in the Premier League. The Premier League, man. They are on course to go to Europe and fight for the Champions League especially if they go there and fucking beat these Geordie fuckers. The Seagulls qualified for Europe for the first time in 2023 and they're on course to do that again.

10:36I'm going to give you a scenario, Mr Bowden. Look, a lot of people want Howl out. I know you're not Howl out. you how in but for one time only for one night only here's saturday night live no uh i'm gonna allow you to manage the boys you're in charge of newcastle you're in the dressing room at st james's park you're now in charge take it away oh let me tell you something real quick real hard Oh You boys this season

11:12In fact, I'm gonna show you the red card Oh Because all the rules are out the fucking window We have nothing else to lose and nothing left to prove You could get down You need to respect the ball Oh You need to fear the ball What? Because when life gives you lemons, you must let out the bulldog and let him purr! That's a cat. Lick your wounds bitches. Because we're in Newcastle United. And we've lost. We lost again. We lost again. But the one thing we do is lose, but fighting! Lose and never give up! We've had great managers in the past. Oh God, they're nice. Joe Kinnear. Steve McLaren Steve Bruce Let me tell you right now Let me tell you right now Oh angry That shirt's unreal There's been no one out there Like Sir Eddie Howe So I want you to rally I want you to remember everything we can and will be I want you to not care about anything Oh he regrets that Oh What's that I hear It's the victory bell That's not from Greece Oh god

12:48We're Newcastle United Junior going down Ding ding

13:03Who's going to score? Who's going to score? I think we lose 2-1. I do. What am I supposed to do?

13:16Yeah, but they want to know who's going to score the one. I'll say this music. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. Me, when Eddie Howell finally wins us a football game. Me, it's Christmas. Yippee-yay-yay! What do you want to do? Woo-hoo! Yahoo!

13:41I think it will be... I actually think 2-1's a good show. Why is it my side that always looks like this? I'm a messy pup, you could say. Mucky pup, am I right? We're blazed! Is that on? Is this on cream? 2-0 Brighton. Terrible, terrible that. Do you feel me? I don't feel me. Do you feel me, G? I think it's a terrible... Moving on to the actual pride of the North East. Oh, it's a solid man. Nah. We lost 5-0. And Chris Wood and Elliot Anderson score past them. So it's 2-2 now between us this season.

14:23It's okay. I'll just power. They take on the worst team ever existing in the Premier League. Because they're propping up the table. It's the Wolverines, the dirty dogheads, the useless wank stains. Don't say that about them. They're fucking a*****. They are 100 % a*****, aren't they? Wolves fans are horrible. I'm not from Wolverhampton. There you are. Have you ever been to Wolverhampton? Yes. It's like going in a time zone back to the 70s. 70s was a good year, wasn't it? How do you know? They had the Blitz. the Blitz in the 70s what is the Blitz again is that like when there's discos and that I'll Blitz you in a minute you fucking you saucy bagger they always say that but I don't really the Blitz was during the world war mate the second world war the Germans were bombing us I thought the Blitz was like where they had like the disco vibe going on a nice getting ring disco stew yeah it was like that's you know what I mean that's the Blitz oh you're going on a roller ring yeah it's Blitzen anyway Wolves are taking on who I think are on the beach Wolves are down anyway this could be an absolute stinker.

15:28Wolves have lost three on the bounce without scoring. All of those against teams in the bottom six as well. They're fucking rubbish. They're so shit. It's hilarious. See you next year, bitches.

15:51You're going down, bitches. You're going down. I can see the future I can see the future And you're going now

16:15Fucking hell I don't know where that came from I don't know where that came from Do you know when you can just channel it somewhere That was a bad one Was it bad? Yeah It feels so good Did that feel like an out of body experience? It feels so good Does it? Honestly. You've got a headache now though. No, it just feels like you're no longer in charge. You're free. It's like I'm no longer in charge. Cause you're free. Someone help. To do what you want to do. Don't have to ask me. No, leave that on. That's a really nice shirt. You start singing. That's my favorite shirt. I always unclawed. This is the best you've ever dressed.

16:46I really like it. Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who. Hello ladies. Oh God, bitch. I'm a dog. Oh You haven't got an ass to do that

17:08You want to see I'm just like a funny guy I'm not the villain I'm the fucking beast Beast.

17:24That one felt bad. Oh, God. That one felt bad. Did it? That really... Did that feel... That didn't feel good, that one. What felt worse? That one or when you first did the Harvey Barnes? That felt worse than the Harvey Barnes. Really? Going, I'm the beast and going, like, that. Yeah. That was a good one. I like that one. That was a good one, mate. Right. Only Burnley and Spurs have conceded more goals than Sunderland in the Premier League in 2026. It's like a tale of two halves this season. Before the new year, only Arsenal and City had let in fewer than them. So they kind of got it done in the early doors.

17:56They got out fast out there. They've plateaued a bit, but it don't matter because they're going to be mid-table. You buy one, you get one free. You buy one, you get one free. Download double, guys. Yeah, it's me actually because you went first from Newcastle. Newcastle, man. Fucking Newcastle from a fucking North, man. Arsenal versus Fulham. What are you doing? I haven't even predicted the score. You're doing this as a prediction show. Not a skit show for you to try and relay your BTEC media acting. No, you're meant to do the other side for that angle. No, the other side. The other side. If you're going to do...

18:36What? No, that's not... Smile with the other side. Oh, God. Right, I'm going to go for a 2-0 Sunderland win. What about you, bitch? What about you, Piggy? Come on, Piggy. I think Wolves win 1-0. Do you not believe that? Check it, bitch. I don't think you're going to like what's going to happen. Yas, Queen. Yas, Queen. Yas. Do you know who's next? Is it my cottages? Yeah. Moving on. It's my colleges taking on the gooners. Arsenal are back to winning ways.

19:21This is not sexual. This is... It's a gym exercise. He's working out, guys. It's a gym exercise. It's the gooners. This is for you, Arteta. This is what they're doing in the training concert now. You have to goon. Goon. Let's goon, guys. Goon together. They're going to win the league. Are you out of breath? It's fucking heavy, that, you know. What weight? Is it like two kilograms? Am I right? I think it's like 37 kg each. But this is Gabriel and Saliba. You've got to work together. You've got to work together. Arsenal are back to winning ways after suffering back-to-back defeats before a 1-0 win over Newcastle.

20:00They got lucky, though. They were shite. They could get six points clear before City face every on Monday. That is big. That's so big. Big. We love the theatre. Fulham have won just two games in the last six but are just two points behind Brighton in sixth and they did win their last game. Stop right there! Stop right there! It's the football police! Now Arteta, I want to make sure that we are going to play some proper football. We are going to try shit out this. We're going to win the league like proper football fans want us to with actual footballing ability and not this fucking football! I have a fire.

20:38Let's fucking go. There's a fire in me, guys. There's a fire. I said fire to the rain. No. I want you to play good football. I want a fucking... Where the fuck... Good football. Where the fuck is the fox? Where the fuck is the rabbi? I'm serious. I'm serious. You need to play proper football if you're one of your Premier League champions. You can't just shithouse it and scrape by. You've got luck against Newcastle. Are you going to play properly? Oh, fuck it. I can't take that. Edison invented the bulb He actually Do you know what He actually didn't He actually If you're going to do a fucking pretentious Stupid dickhead speech He didn't even invent Fucking all this shit He copied it and stole it Just like you're copying tactics From every League One football team out there You fucking fraud

21:24There is a fire Within my soul

21:30Did he say that? Let's fucking go guys Let's fucking go Go guys almost say though since we've banned the Guna Since we've been the Guna also have kind of dropped off and thrown away the title so But I stopped though stop doing your workout because we don't want them to win to be we wanted to fail I wasn't doing the Guna that I was just working out. Oh, no. What are you doing? Fogging winning guys I Fucking hit us. It's you to go first. This is a oh boy. It's a fucking London Derby you I'm gonna be serious right now. Oh, serious mode. I think Arsenal are being very pussy ass bitches. Oh, why are they not Raz Clark?

22:13If they were, mate. Are they not Raz Clark? If it was a parameter, if 10 was Raz Clark and then zero's being a pussy Clark, honestly they're operating at like a three, which is just knocked down with the fucking mandem. Sorry guys, we have to cut something out there. Yeah, Louis said something really, really offensive. And then Tom got his cock out, he was fucking big. you make. I'm going to say right now that Fulham are going to get something. I'm not saying this is going to win but they're going to go and get something and that's all that it's going to take for Arsenal to lose the title. Do it to me baby.

22:41Give it to me baby one more time. 2-1 Fulham. Oh fuck I was going to say that. And tell you what I'm so confident because I have a PhD in Arsenal. You have a pretty huge dick in Arsenal. Oh what is this? Oh what is this? Oh I know. Where did you give it? Devil finger. Oh that's the other one. Golden result, bitch. Oh! You regret that a bit, don't you? Yeah, you do. I'm going to go 1-1. Fuck Arsenal. Fuck Arsenal. Arsenal shit. Excuse me, boss. What team do you support? Can't you see? Fuck Chelsea. Chelsea shit. Can you stop? I've already cleaned it all off. Right, moving on. It's the cherries.

23:25You're welcome. Since we've made the truce, you are the greatest team in the world. You're fucking welcome. taking on the Squawk Squawk Eagles. Palace are a bit, I think they're on the beaches. I don't know. So you get called out by the CEO of Palace Fonds. Who? Ollie Thomas. Did he? Yeah. He didn't appreciate you saying they were cringe. He didn't appreciate you saying they were cringe for the European-esque celebration. I don't actually think I said they were cringe. You said they were cringe. I don't think I did. You said they were cringe. Did I? Yep. I just said I found it weird. Did I say cringe?