BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP.4, S2

0:00Welcome back to the Gay Show on Earth! Hello. Good morrow. Can you just repeat what you were saying to me before we started filming? I don't know if I should get a buzz cut. No, do the other thing. What was the other thing? Just do what you were doing with your hair. I'm trying a new look. What is that look? It's my FPL forfeit. Have you not seen? There's been crazy FPLs forfeits going on. Someone had to do curtains at school. Anyway, moving on from that. Can you hear that? Cool, cool. Oh, it's... Hello down there. Hello down there. Yeah guys, we're coming live to you from Hawaii. No, no, no, no.

0:34And where all the girls are, Kauai.

0:41What was that? I don't know, I think it's like what the oo-oo people, oo-oo! Oh God, don't do that. Let's start again. Oh my God, don't do that. Oo-oo! What do you mean I can't, What do you mean oo-oo? What the fuck you want about? Of course I can go in. Keep that fucking in now. Right, make sure you go download double, use the code PICTRO. Guys, when you bet£10, you're going to get£10 in free. I said you bet£10, you get£10 free. Guys, if you don't download it, I'm going to kawaii. Make sure you go download Dabble, guys. Use the code Pitchside. You do need to be 18+. It is for new customers only.

1:13It is T &Cs. Apply. Please come on responsibly. Beinghavenaware.org. Look, there's banter rooms. Yeah, I like them. You're in there. I love banter. Don't you love banter? Banter's the best. I'm the king of banter. It was just banter. It's just banter. It was just banter. Just because I said I want your whole family to burn in a fire, doesn't mean I mean it. Yeah, it's just... It was banter in the dabble room. Banter. And look, you can bet on any sport you like, football, racing, whatever you're into, the darts, maybe even, I don't know, hockey. What about e-sports? Ooh-ooh! Make sure you go download Dabble and use the code PIDGSAID.

1:47Right. PIDGSAID? I was thinking... What? You don't think. You don't have a brain. Curve, man. He's trying to play the old... Switcheroonie. Yeah, switcheroonie. Rank your top three most embarrassing moments on the show Since we started it In your personal opinion What made you feel the most embarrassed? I can give you some options if you want The gimp mask The goona Oh my god, remember the goona? That was crazy Shagging the dog I'm actually proud of that one The first Harvey Barnes one you did You looked dead in the eyes Have you seen I've started a trend now? People are copying my flow On TikTok Really?

2:30Yeah they're coming up With their own What? And you might think It's a compliment Stop tagging me in it It's fucking trademarked If you do another Fucking celebration You stole it off Harvey Barnes? No but they're doing Harvey Barnes Harvey Barnes No What were you going to say? Rank your top three Most embarrassing moments On this show In your opinion I think you probably Put three separate Goona ones on there Just those ones I think maybe the VR one The VR one yeah We've had the boy That's one of my favourites though If you wonder why Some of these characters disappeared, it's because it's going to lose us all jobs and brand deals.

3:01I don't agree with that or conform to it. But you join us. We're in sunny Hawaii. Hawaii? Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. Do you know the lyrics to this one? What? Aruba, Jamaica. Ooh, I like to get in the Coco Town. Aruba, Jamaica. Bend me over like you want to go downtown. Did you get any push from last week? No. No? No. The DMs have been lighting up like a candle these days. Light the candle! Just like a really dim candle. Yeah, but... People are pouring out love. Really? Yeah, some people have been asking me how to do it. Is it... Should I go? Yeah. As the villain. I know, I mean, as...

3:46Don't say his fucking name. You know what happened last week? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck me, lad. Anyway, let's review last week's... Guys! Storm coming in. Oh, no. Mary Poppins, he's going to fly away. Can we put in, Jamie, in the edit, can you put in some rain sound effects and thunder and then make it all dark as if clouds coming in and it's pouring? And I'm like, cue the sound effects. Whoa. I think you fly away like Mary Poppins. Lewis, Lewis, where are you going? Now make me really small, Jamie, and have me flying across the ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, cook scene. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa.

4:21Hawaii's really blowy and windy. See how well he does that. It's going to be pretty hard. Yeah. Oh, I've never had one, but I do want one. Can I swap this out for an espresso martini? Yeah. Ah, like magic, guys. Right, Ipswich lost at home to Liverpool 2-0. We both went for away wins, but we didn't get the score. It's just 1-1. Okay. Newcastle 2, Bournemouth 2. According to this, is it 1-1 on game week so far? 1-1. And the sore ass. Yeah, we got the red ass. Newcastle 2 Bournemouth 2 I got it bang on Booyah Lewis went 3-0 and got and resorted you are miles off it that's brutal that I waste my golden result so that's 4-1 to me going into Brentford Sunderland which is 1-1 we both predicted a home win so it's still 4-1 Brighton Leeds 1-1 I predicted a draw Lewis predicted a home win so that's 5-1 to me however you got Palace to win at Fulham I went for the draw so that's 5-2 Man City 1 Coventry 0 I got and resorted this you went 4-0 I went 3-0 so that's 7-3 to me Forrest Spurs 0-0 I predicted Will how would you get the scores wrong every time Will by the way is panically fixing the scores as we go but look guys I'm a professional Forrest Drew Spurs 0-0 I predicted the draw Lewis went with a home wins that's 8-3 to me this is big the Tigers drew 0-0 I went with a home win you went with an away win so that stays 8-3 Lewis did predict Everton 2-2 against Man United I went with an away win that's 8-6 to me going into Arsenal-Chelsea was 2-1 to Arsenal.

5:54I predicted 2-1. You went with 2-0. So that makes it 11-3. No, 11-7 to me. I win again. I go 2-1 up. Booyah! I'm sorry, Arsenal. Get your little perky arse. Actually, it's not perky. You don't have an arse. You get away with it because you have the world's longest back. Ooh-ooh. Are we ready? Can we get a clap going in the studio? Clap the door from me.

6:35Oh, Aloha. Let's do the Premier League.

6:41Oh, you fucking knob. How do I do it now? It's not going to be fixed now, is it? I've ruined everything. You have ruined everything. Here, pass it here. Can you fix it, Daddy?

6:58Awwww.

7:03That's the worst one yet. That's the worst thing you've ever done. That is the worst thing you've ever fucking done. You literally said something the other day. The sexual stuff has to stop. The homoerotic has to stop. Wait, why are you making that into a sexual thing? What else was it, Lewis? I was just trying to get it out. Trying to get it out on you. Oh, don't open your mouth. Don't do that, I'm being shocked. You've opened your mouth. You stuck his tongue out. You just went like this. I feel scarred. Well, you're covered in it. I feel scarred. You need a towel. Right, it's Saturday, half 12, it's...

7:46I just did this. It's Nottingham Forest. The tree. It's Nottingham, the tricky trees. Nottingham Forest are taking the short trip over too. I don't see it out loud. I don't see it out loud. Aston Villa. Both sides arrived still searching for a league in this season. Villa boasts an impressive unbeaten streak of seven games against Nottingham Forest at Villapoc. Forest are without a win in six league games going into the end of last season. It's okay. Is your heart going? Kill your jets, boys. He's normally here by now. They are lethal weapons. Luckily, I never have to see him. I just feel him.

8:27Do you ever think of the time when you were a boy? Yeah. When you were... When I was... A young boy. A young boy. Your father... Your father... Took me into the city. To see your granddad come. Aston Villa, Boston and President of the... It's you to go first because I won last week. Aston Villa. Villa haven't scored yet in the league. Shh. Oh, shit, yeah, sorry. Aston haven't scored yet in the league. Aston Marriold. And Forrest Gino... If I die, yeah, would you come to my funeral? Would you cry? What do you expect? Shut up, Will! It's not broken, it's just loosened. Yeah, it's kind of hard. That was broken It's Wayne Mardle Oh mate Wait there That's hot I thought you were going gym Oh god Right cue the music

9:34Again not in the prep dish by the way people

9:48Tonight the music seems so loud I wish that we could lose this crowd Maybe it's better this way You hurt me with the things that you want to say We could have been so good together We could have had this last forever But now I've got Ryan Please stay And I've never got a dance He looks like Hitler Get his hair My hair's still over How's it going to get the girls? Oh, you are going to get some poon I've been getting more boys than girls recently Right, wait, we still haven't done We're not even doing the first game I've got to say something there I've got him what was it you were a bug eyed freak I can't actually remember what it was give us a score nottingham Forrest they're pretty good at the moment actually I'm pretty impressed and that's from Villa have they gotten people back from injury yet sorry sorry what's impressed you about Forrest just not being bottom of the table so them losing to Leeds and drawing with Spurs losing to Leeds twice yeah they haven't scored in the Premier yet?

11:03What's the impression? I thought that was us and Villa. It's both. They have? You don't even know football. Wait, what game am I missing? Every game ever. Idiot. What are you on? No, no, no. No. You don't even know football. Oh, they did. Yeah. Fuck, I'm actually one. Are you impressive? I'm actually one. I'm going to go 1-1. Uno, dos, tres. And 1-1, senpai. Oh, wow. 2-1, Villa. Right, moving on. Oh, my God. It's the... Borny Bournemouths. It's the BB... It's the Borny Bournemouths. It's the BBC Derby. BBC, the Borny Bournemouth. Oh, I like that. It's the Borny Bournemouth. New character unlocked.

11:48I don't know what this is. I'm from Bournemouth. You're the... Ah, the Borny Bournemouth. You're the 60-year-old Bournemouth lady who lives on the sea. Do you want to look at my Cornetto? No, you've taken it a bit... The start was good. The Barney Barney. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Horny Barney Barney. Against the Buzzy Bees. I'm the Horny Barney. I'm the Horny Barney, bitch. Whoa, whoa. I'm trying to flesh out the character. But be careful, though, because we're friends with them now, and that guy might come after you again. I don't agree to that. Don't remember, we made a truce. I don't remember that.

12:19After that guy threatened us. Yeah. Huh. That was pretty beast mode. Beast mode. Do the voice. Barney Barney. No, no, no, no. Do the beast mode. Beast mode. Beast mode. That's my favourite ticket. Brentford of... Beast mad, beast mad, beast mad, beast mad, beast mad. God, it feels so good. Yeah, it's actually embarrassing. Beast mad. Beast mad. Brentford of Unbeaten in 11... You're 30. Brentford of Unbeaten in 11... Actually, you're 30. Yeah, and I'm not doing that. I'm 26. Beast mad. Okay, stop, because that... I just felt like I was selling inside. We're better than that. Do you not feel how nice that is?

12:58You're a bodybuilder comedian actor. you better than that and Shagga am I right ladies alright Shagga right Brentford have been beating in 11 league meetings with Bournemouth since a 1-0 championship defeat in August 2014 that's actually crazy you keep miming Bournemouth have led in all three games this season becoming the second side to do so after Chelsea in 92-93 no side has ever done so in the opening four games and not one that will be interesting fuck yeah Oh my god, I've just realised The Borny Bournemouth, that's Cherry You're doing Cherry Boy? Who? You're doing Cherry Boy? Who's that?

13:39He's doing Cherry Boy! Woo! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was doing that all along Yeah! Who's that? So, alright, so, what, um Borny Bournemouth, you could say Say, obviously call this Say to the camera now, look at camera three I go, do you want to pop my cherry in that accent? Do you want to pop my cherry? The Borny Bournemouth It's the Borny Bournemouth And you're going to pop my cherry That doesn't feel right You've had it popped What does that mean? What does that mean? You know what it means Have you ever popped a cherry? No, have you? No Have you ever popped a cherry? Don't know what that means Right, it's me to go first I can see goals I'm going to go 1-1 Bournemouth have been decent and stills Brentford yeah two good teams two of the best run teams in the country I think Brentford are the better of the two do you reckon but Bournemouth did finish above them last season Matt Bournemouth were quality against you first half yeah we were very shit but they are always good against us they just have our number I also thought it was just like the Eddie Howe tax but like also can we I reckon we I reckon we have a go at the Premier League why I'm not happy with the Premier League oh I'm cheating no first of all things you left in my apartment I weren't happy with.

14:59Second of all, stop putting Bournemouth, Newcastle as half twelve on a Saturday. Why? Some of their fans have to leave at like 1am. That sounds like a skill issue. Why is that? I'm going to go 1-1. What about you? Oh, what? I'm going to say 2-1 Brentford. Yeah. Yeah. A way win for Brentford. The Buffy B's. I think they're going to do it. Right, moving on. We've got Crystal Palace from Dan Schaaf. And they are taking on...

15:45Yeah, I'm the tractor boy. I'm going to pound some eagles. Still not doing much, is he, tractor boy? I think he's overrated character personally Oi I think you all need to pay attention to the Everton guy I think the Everton guy is better Yeah I love the Wrangler He's a bit insecure though No you don't like the Wrangler He's really See he's insecure You're insecure Don't know what for I am it Ay Ay Ay Oh he's hip Oh your hips don't laugh Ay Ay Oh my god There's three gal them Ay Ay Ay

16:31Oh, you went to do a slug drop, but you couldn't do it because of your knee. Because of your knee. Among ever-present Prem sides in 2026, only Spurs have accumulated fewer points at home than Crystal Palace. So Sellers Park's not a fortress, is it? Screenshot this, guys. Eh? Yeah. Keep going. Yeah, get the traps up, get the traps up. Ipswich are without a clean sheet in the last 22 games, conceding 57 goals in that time. That's 2.6 a game, guys. and that's quick maths. I actually think Ipswich have had one of the best windows in the whole Premier League. I think they've done really well. A lot of business.

17:01Business. It's like a new trend, isn't it? Business. Business. I don't know. I don't know. I don't get you to just do anything. You're a freak. Right, choose to go first. Come on. That's the point in my life. Come on. Guys, no, this isn't a skit. This is nothing. This is good. What am I doing? Do you know sometimes I scroll TikTok and I see an old prediction show video and I'm like, what the fuck? What am I doing? What am I going to do as a job in five years' time? It gets you puss. It doesn't get me puss. Mate, you are well respected in the football community. I don't think I am well disrespected.

17:42What? Well disrespected. I'm well disrespected. No, no, they love you. No, they don't. This show has made you a superstar. Because I'm the clown. I'm the class clown. and when he leaves school, what does he have left? He's just the fucking idiot who doesn't have any GCSEs. That's what I am. Sick of this shit. You need to go first. What's the point? Lads, none of this matters. Nothing matters. This is real, guys. Not a skate. Fuck off, Will. Have some fucking manners. I'm opening up. I'm opening up. I'm here for you. Oh, God. It's like sandpaper. His hands are like a snake. Go on. Someone told me recently they like cornflakes.

18:30Mate, have you seen how cornflakes are made? No. It'll blow your mind. Will they? Genuinely, they just bash corn and then like... Make them into flakes? Yeah. And then deep fry them? Yeah, well, I don't know if they deep fry them. Go on, what's the score? Oh, yeah.

18:49today 2-1-2 Chelsea it's not Chelsea it's Palace Ipswich erm I'm going to say are you alright? no I'm going to say Palace Ipswich is going to be where's my Admiral hat? yeah cut all this Lucy's taking 10 minutes to Cleopatra 2-1-2 Palace. Oh, I'm going to go for a Patricia. 2-2. I was going to say a Patricia. Oh my God, a 2-2. Put your 2-2 on. We haven't got a 2-2. I'm not putting a 2-2 on. I'm not putting a 2-2 on. You do the 2-2. I'm not putting a 2-2 on. Right, moving on. 2-3. Hey! Fucking hell, lad. I'm not doing that closely.

19:44I'm blinding. It actually hurt that. It like stings. What the fuck are you doing? Literally says on the instructions, don't fire it directly at someone. I'm glad I had me glasses on. He could have taken me fucking eye out. Oh, Jesus. Hey, it's perked you up, man. I'm glad health and safety is in good effect on this show. Hey, it's perked you up. I wish it had hit me in the eye. I would be suing the fellas. I'm going to sue the fellas. You're blind anyway. Let's be honest. Yeah. You're getting mauled by the tigers. Mauled by the tigers. You're getting mauled by the Tigers Mauled by the Tigers It's my new favourite team, by the way, Hull.

20:23Yeah. Yeah, genuinely. Why? Generally or genuinely? I just think that is the greatest song in the history of football. And honestly, I can't think of anything that would rattle. Could you point people up? I think it's like, mate, that would rattle me to fuck. Like, genuinely. It's that and when Palace had Mateta score. Do you know, Hull is the only stadium I've ever been to where I've seen other than the Albion Wolves thing the other year it's the only standard I've ever seen fighting in the ground they were fighting each other they were mauling each other

20:58Chelsea take on Hull Chelsea have never come on for me Carly Hull have kept the clinch in all three games this season the last thing to do so in the first four games was Man City in 15-16 with no promoted side ever doing are you impressed by Hull City I think I actually really enjoy watching Who's that left back that they have who's whipping all these balls in? Giles. Mate, he's good in. He's gonna fucking carry them with those deliveries, set pieces alone and those crosses. They're class. They're actually fun to watch. It's me to go first. I've enjoyed them. They can get some in here. Right, it's me to go first.

21:35Chelsea 4, Hall 1. Chelsea 4. Golden result. And I'm also gonna want to watch Cole Palmer. Lock it in, bitch. Does he still do that at Sky Sports, where he goes, Nottingham Forest, one, Chelsea, nil. I think the guy who always did that was, I think he died. Oh, really? Yeah, because I think now the guy who hosts it just does it. Oh. And Gellet's like, I know. Oh, no, that used to be class. I know. Oh. Dagenham and Redbridge, one. Russian and Diamonds, nil. I literally sit and watch them all. I have, like, no invested interest. I just sit and watch and read them all. Wanking. Well. Right, your prediction, let's go.

22:10Puberty hits hard, doesn't it? I'm going to say

22:182-1 Chelsea Really? Yeah really All they're good man And they're good defensively They can get Wait wait wait Pull my finger

22:29Probably stereotypical fart noise That was like a stereotype part of that Stereotype Stereotype part Up next it is Liverpool vs the Fullham Warriors Liverpool Liverpool have drawn each of the last three Prem games at Anfield they last had a longer winless run between December 2020 and March 2021 how are you rating Liverpool this season? I ain't fucking happy I thought we were not doing this guy anymore I ain't fucking happy we're not doing him anymore it's the bunny rabbit nope I'm fucking happy I ain't fucking happy I don't like this guy I ain't fucking happy but they're yet to pick up a point this season only in 1951-52 I'm fucking happy about it 2020-21 did they lose their opening four matches of the top flight of the season and also I'm a fucking cottageer apparently there is a war going on behind the scenes certain footballers at the club like Smith Rowe and etc other people think Tete are deleting posts off Instagram putting cryptic stories all again we also saw that fucking can on his line bike who?

23:25Tete well he was on a line bike did you not see it? did you not like that? he was on a line bike slagging me slagging I blow her off was that not Brogia? no it was made up Brogia doesn't Brogia see Brogia though he was fucking slagging yeah He's a prick, he's a shit at football. I ain't fucking happy with that fucking little c**t. What do you think's going wrong with Arbeloa this season? Not enough cheeseboards. Do you think it's wrong that he brought in a Palacios who started like 10 games in his whole life? Not enough Prosecco at the cottage. What about the footballer? Fabulous! Fabulous! Do you think that they've lost the fabulous player?

24:02Fabulous. Fabulous. What do you hear about the rumours about them being renamed as the Bunnies? Because we haven't got a use for the outfit on this show. So we are now officially changing their name. What? I'm a cottager. They've been called the Bunnies. I'm a cottager. No, no, no. It's going around circulating on that. I'm a manly cottager. Guys, we're starting a new trend. Call Fulham the Bunnies. We don't have a reason. We're just doing it. What, we're doing that right now? Yeah, they're called the Bunnies from now on. So I don't have to do that ever again? Yeah. Yahoo! Hey, yippee! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

24:35Hashtag get it trending, the Bunnies. Yeah, we've come to the conclusion. Well, not to repeat. Yeah, we... Fulham from now on. Do you think we can just rebrand them? Yeah. Maybe we just go around. They are a small enough club for a rebranding. You definitely can, because you've got the power. Guys. The power. Guys. Fulham are the bunnies. Whenever they pour something, call them the bunny rabbit. Because then now we can use the... Because they're so soft and cute, and they just love... They just love cheese. Oh, bunny rabbit chippy cheeks. Oh, well. Oh, God. You get worse every week. Yeah, so from now on, Fulham are the bunnies, and then we can get a good use of the bunny outfit for the critics of the show.