BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 6

0:00Welcome to a new episode of Pitchside with me, Reeve, Thea Baker and Tom Garrett. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap that button right now for new episodes every week? And if you want more Pitchside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where you can find us by typing in Pitchside. Let's get into it. Welcome back to the greatest show on the internet that nobody asked for. It's the Prediction Show with Tammy Garrett and the smelly chimp who doesn't shower. Lewis Borden. My name is Lewis Borden. Thank you. Subscribe to Lewis Borden Vlogs. Link in the description. Can we cut that, please?

0:39Link in the description. Okay, thank you. Link in the description. Right, so an interesting weekend where, I mean, we're not going to ruin the end result, even though you're probably going to see it right now on screen. But let's quickly go over what happened the weekend. I mean, should we just ruin it straight away? Lewis had a good weekend. Yeah, I was fucking cooking con carne. It's probably the most successful weekend we've had in terms of - It was very close. So it went down to the last game. Yeah, I got two correct scores. You had two correct scores going into the final game, which you called correctly to be 1-1 City Arsenal, which you also golden resulted.

1:16The first golden result to come in, correct result, a six-pointer. Correct score. Correct score. Well, we started off the week with Liverpool winning 2-1. Of course, yeah, six points. It was 6-6 going into the final game. Obviously, Lewis getting the correct score. Golden result. Yeah. Do you know why? So now it looks like you battered me, but you didn't. The Arsenal prediction, I kind of did, because that's the glory of the golden result. If you super back yourself on a result, and it comes through. I understand that, but you didn't batter me. You got three correct scores. I got two. Whatever helps you make your sleep, buddy.

1:49Whatever helped make what? Shit, fucked it. I think that I will. 2-1 Liverpool was my first correct score line. You went with 1-1. Everton did well, man. I thought they were going to nick the second. They were unlucky. They were unlucky. But then again, this was also close. You went... Actually, no, it wasn't. You had a stinker here. How? Spurs were 2-0 down. Oh, yeah. You never had a chance of getting that. So you went with 2-1 Spurs. I went with 2-2. Obviously, correctamundo. And another correct... Oh, shit. I thought that was me. No, that was me. Tip that energy off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went with 1-0 Burnley Forest.

2:27You went with 1-1. By the way, I just want to stop by here. Great show. Three games. Both of us have always got the correct scoreline That's fucking classic Actually, make it four Do you get the next one? Because I went with two on Palace But this is where it all falls down for me Because I golden resorted I also backed them in my last man's standing You fucking useless dingle fuckers But it is hilarious It's a win-win for me now Because they're probably going to go down Which is fucking hilarious And it makes my life so much happier. First of all, knowing they're going to rot, they may not get a point until 2028.

3:06Yeah, what are they actually going to do? Because like, they've got Strand Larson on like whatever contract they've just given him, but it'll be a lot of money. There'll be a release clause when they're in it, I think. I know, but like, did they have money to spend? Who the fuck are they going to buy? Are they relegated? I mean, they've just took a loan out against a loan. Have they? Oh, that's always good financial. So, yeah, so the Dingles look like they might be going down the route we went down, which is quite ironic because they were all pissing their pants when we were in financial problem with our old shitty owner.

3:31And now the turns of tabled, haven't they, Wanderers? But hey, they lived the dream. We lived the dream. The Rupert Nevers wants to come back to England, so you never know. When did you see? He won't go back to the Wolves. Are they going to pay him? Anyway, the Dingles are shit. Leeds battered him. There were 3-1 up at half time. I said 3-1 to Wolves. You said 2-1, Wolves. Yes, actually, it was worse prediction from you. Yeah, indeed. And then this is the stinker, because I did see one in the comments, and they were right, and I was aware of Chelsea's bad record at United, but I just thought, surely not.

4:01You saw that red card though. Surely not. I'm not too annoyed about that because they would have beat Man United if they had 11 men. Well, United then did get down to 10 men though. Yeah. And Maresca's challenges didn't really help them. Yeah, I don't like. Palmer obviously getting injured as well. But yeah, just really frustrating. Then you went for Brentford to beat Fulham. Yeah. That was wild. Yeah, it was a bit cookie-concarny. Fulham ended up winning 3-1. Again, I went for the draw, so I was rung in that as well. And then the most boring game of the weekend, Bournemouth against your mighty...

4:32Yeah, I predicted four goals, 3-1 Newcastle, and there's zero goals and like one half chance. Can I just say, on the stream, you were like, oh shit, did I predict a draw? You predicted 3-1 Newcastle. So so far, Newcastle are on about, how many games have we played? I think five. So Newcastle will be on 15 points, plus 20-odd goal difference when actually you're in the bottom half. Do you think maybe you're a bit silly with your predictions? We are underperforming. No, do you think you're being a bit... Or maybe you're not as good as you think. I do look back and I'm like, I don't know what I was thinking.

5:08Do you ever think maybe you're not as good as you think? In the moment, I think my bias really takes over because I was saying we always do shit at Bournemouth. Eddie Howe's not beat Bournemouth since he left. So you've played five games, you've got one win. Yeah but we've already lost once So we should have won Not a great start No we do not We'll come back though We'll come back Yeah you're below Man United in Leeds You said Bournemouth would win That's equally as bad Bournemouth are fourth Yeah fuck you Zero points both ways there though This is the one that's pissing me off And to all the people in the comments It's so boring Lewis said something's going to lose every week Because let's be honest You should lose every week Why?

5:44Fair play of the Avon They're good at home Fair play of the Avon But my logical brain is Aston Villa should be beat in Sunderland Not based on this season That's why I went with Sunderland to win But how long can it go that badly? Very long apparently I mean yeah But this is the logic If I start now They even, by the way They went 1-0 up Against And Sunderland had 10 men And still come back Sunderland are unbeaten at home They're very good at home This is the thing right It's a tough place to go But Give them some respect Fuck off No give them some respect No Why? I don't want to Why? Because I don't want to I don't want to ever give Wolves or Villa I mean I don't have to at the minute But I don't They're playing well.

6:22That's what I'll say. They don't have my respect. No, I didn't. I said show them the respect. I said they're playing well. Okay, there you go. So you respect them? No. The wheels will fall. It'll be funny when you fly them and lose, isn't it? Nah, I couldn't be after that. That would be very funny. The wheels will fall off eventually. Are the cartels still after you? No, they give up. They gave up? Yeah. That was fucking short-lived, wasn't it? It was really short-lived. It was very intense for two days and then stopped. Pussies. whoa they'll come after you next be careful I don't care nah they'll never come after me mate I'm an honorary Mexican oh that's true well I said 2-1 Asselvilla you said 1-0 Sunderland with the end result being 1-1 so no points there so I meant it all came down to the final game of Arsenal Man City which I called 1-1 the most predictable game in this entire fixture list was Arsenal getting a 1-1 win

7:16I can't wait to predict Newcastle Arsenal later on. But anyway, that puts Lewis into a 12-6 lead for the week, which means it is currently 3-2 to me. I needed that. You did need that because 4-1, that's a hard bridge to gap. So, yeah, so let's, what we need to do though, Tom, we're now five game weeks in. We have a table of the scores that we predicted for each of us. So, should we look at yours first, Tom? I think mine's alright. Okay, let's scroll down. So, let's have a look at the standoff. Can I just say, this definitely does... I'm just saying Palace are third. Palace are doing well. I know, but like third and then Spurs are second.

8:01Palace are fifth. Are they? Yes. Oh, jeezy peeps. Palace are fifth and Spurs are third. So they're very good predictions, by the way. Yeah, why am I thinking this is like end of the season? Sorry, guys. No, but it does show a bit of my bias because everyone knows I like Chelsea and Spurs. But I don't really like Liverpool I've only got them fourth, but even though they're top. If you're an audio listener, Tom from top four. I am happy with this table, by the way. This is actually all right. Yeah. So for audio listeners, he has Chelsea, then Spurs. Over then Leeds, over then Leeds. Chelsea, Spurs, Palace, Liverpool, Everton, Man United, Arsenal, Brentford, Bournemouth, Newcastle.

8:35That's your top 10. And then it goes to Man City, 11th, Villa, Sunderland, Wolves, Forest, Brighton, Fulham, West Ham, Burnley, and in last place, Leeds. Who are, well, Leeds on zero points, you have them. They've got seven points. Leeds, I'm actually just looking at it. I think Leeds is my only, like, stinker. It's not that bad. Guess where Forrest are in the table? Are they exactly where you have them? Yes. 15th. How many points? Five. You have them with four. That's fair. That's fair, though. 15th. Hey, yours isn't too bad. I have a slight suspicion, though, Tom. This is going to be funny. I think mine's slightly worse than yours.

9:12Oh, no. No, because you don't tend to be that biased. I think yours would be like legitimate prediction. I'm like a rogue general though. Sometimes I talk crazy. Let's have a look. Should we have a look? Yeah, let's see how we're doing this far through. So Newcastle are first. Newcastle first and Sunderland are last. So yeah, Newcastle, so you've got Newcastle with five wins out of five and Sunderland with five losses out of five. Did I have Newcastle win Liverpool? We should have beat Liverpool. When actually Sunderland are seventh and you're thirteenth. The thing is, So on the Newcastle one.

9:45Say sorry. So on the Newcastle one. Say sorry to some of them. Definitely not, because my Chelsea Spurs, Liverpool, that's fair. But on the Newcastle one, it wasn't outrageous to say we should have won all those games. It is. It wasn't, because Liverpool... You predicted to be the best team in arguably Europe at home. But by his side, were we not the better team, even with 10 men, never mind when we had 11 men? We were the better team. Hang on. Where's that trophy? But no, what I'm saying is... We played better with 10 men. At St. James Park against Liverpool with the hype behind them, I don't think that was a crazy call.

10:14We have underperformed though And it has equaled No you're just not as good As you think you are We've underperformed We've underperformed It's fine You're not as good As you think you are This is what I keep Trying to tell you It has nine goals Different It's like Bournemouth The weekend I had us plus nine Goal differences Yeah you've got Villa Seventh They're in the bottom Three We're early days You've got Wolves Ninth They're bottom With no points So you've got Newcastle first Chelsea second Spurs third Then Liverpool City Arsenal Villa Palace Wolves United Everton Brentford Forest West Ham Burnley Brighton Fulham Leeds Bournemouth Bournemouth with one point They're fourth With ten That's fucking Scandalous And then bottom Of the league With minus ten The mighty Mighty Mackhams Sullenman Minus ten goal Difference yeah well the thing is though ultimately that doesn't matter because it's 3-2 and there's only one point in our system so that's all that matters I think we should do an end of season forfeit for whoever has the better table definitely fucking not but one thing we do have to do because I won this weekend is spin the wheel okay you spin it we have got a new one we've got two new ones yeah we'll find them out as we go along fuck it Basically, we've got five ear flicks as one, and then also we can change a player on each other's FPL team.

11:49It feels nice this not being me now. Right, give that a fucking rat-a-ta. A rat-a-ta-ta. Yeah, we fixed the wheel as well, guys. Well, wheelers. A rat-a-ta-ta. No. It's the fucking one. Change FPL player! Yes! Oh, may I introduce you to a little person called the Vultimare? He's already in my team. Shit. Right. FPL. Okay, so by the way, just quickly rule switch because we couldn't fit on here. We've agreed that we're allowed to change a player. However, it has to be the same value. Yeah, because otherwise it's just like we're going to ruin the pitch side league. Because obviously we have a pitch side league with Reeve and Theo.

12:30We're like, hang on. Why are we taking potential flack for this each week when they, basically, they're the ones benefiting from this. They need the help. Hey, I'm going to help you out big time. Don't you worry. Okay, so I don't know if you want to. I need to have a look at his team. Okay. Yeah. There you go. I shall take this. Okay. Transfers. 37 point a week. Ooh, yikes. Yeah, it was a bad week for me. You have to play this player. You can't just bench him. No, 100%. Yeah. And you can't pick an injured player. No. Okay. Who do I want to give you is the question. Plus, you can't take out Haaland or Salah because there's no one with equivalent value.

13:04So I should be okay. What we see in equivalent value, like... The same value. But, like, some players don't match... Oh, so, like, within... Within reason. 1 or something. Yeah, 0.1 is really, like it limits me on what I can do. Okay, within a half a mil, half a mil. Fuck it then. I've done you a favour. Oh. So, you are transferring out Semenyo. Okay. But incoming is Anthony Gordon. Is he fair? Yeah, he's back from his red card. Don't know if he's going to start. Who have you got? Arsenal. Oh, fuck. That's so annoying because Bournemouth have got Leeds. By the way, I'm pretty sure Anthony Gordon's going to play against Bradford tonight and will be on the bench.

13:46That's not part of the deal. Well, he might not. He's free to play if he wants to. He's within the Paris range. That's annoying. That's really annoying. The manual's really good as well. See, I could swap out Harland and stuff, but I could only swap in someone who's fucking class. It's actually... I wanted to give you someone else, but they're all... Harvey Barnes is 6.5 million, so it's way off. Right. Bastard. There we go, boys. We'll come back next week and we'll see how that went on for Tom. Hey, Gordon might come on and score a hat-trick. I'll tell you what would be really funny if he does play a hat-trick.

14:19Now you're actually cheering for Newcastle on the weekend. That's my goal. Oh, no, I'm not. Oh, okay. Anyway, do you know what time it is? Oh, I know what time it is. Do you know what time it is, Will? Yeah? Yeah. Do you guys know what time it is? Do you guys know what time it is? Let's play the Premier League, man! I need more! Woo!

14:41I'm sorry if you're listening to this with headphones on. Hang on, I'm nearly passed out, didn't I? Yeah, you look red. I just get so fucking pumped. Is that so rare? Why is it so pointy? Yeah, this is looking a bit sus, Will. I agree. I am not part of a certain clue. Anyway, let's kick off this week's prediction. Oh, my God. Have we got another 12.30 to late here? Oh, my fucking God. Do you know what? Honestly, Premier League, Premier League. Come here, come here. I just want to talk to you. I fucking love you I fucking love first of all Albion got Leicester Friday night so I'm going to be out all day getting fucking sourced up hopefully watching the baggies win and even if they lose I've then got a full day down the pub watching the Premier League man and hopefully the Dingles lose at 8 o 'clock away at Spurs so that'll be another fucking hilarious day of boos betting banter and bollocks in my mouth why do you always change into the Admiral this is what I do where we predict Anyway I lost It's me to go first Kicking it off With Brentford Man United Oh the Buzzy Bees Buz, buz, buz Against United Madflip, madflip, madflip Oh Trafford Centre Okay I Oh god this is tough You know usually before the show I look at the fixtures And have an idea I haven't looked I never look Oh you'll just You'll just tell from the table Yeah you'll just a feeling Brentford Man United Half 12 2-2 Desmond I'm going to go Treacle 1-1 what?

16:15Desmond's 2-2 Treacle's 1-1 I don't get it of course you don't right next up 3 o 'clock Palace Liverpool Lewis to serve do you know Palace are undefeated in 17 games yeah Oli told us that yesterday didn't he no that came from Ibram oh yes they have no Eketika which means they're going to have the Rats Rats Rats playing do you reckon he has to surely he's fully fit now yeah yeah but like he's a fucking prick um so i pray i pray not bad things i just hope he has a terrible terrible terrible game i'm going 2-2 2-2 is my bias getting involved yes it is deal with it uh i just think liverpool and liverpool like isak isn't that good He was doing the fucking finger gun celebration against Southampton.

17:09He was celebrating by himself in the corner. Fucking freak. It's still a goal. You celebrate it, mate. To win anyway. He's acting like Arsenal. Yeah, but they were winning. It put them ahead. They were winning. 2-1 Liverpool. You think he's a X-Gos? Yeah. Really winds me up in the air. He said 1-1. Should we have a bet? Did I say 1-1? I said 2-2. Oh, 2-2. You said, sorry, 2-2. What did I say? Yeah, I said 2-2. Yeah, you said 2-2. I said 2-1 Liverpool Alright should I have a bet? No I say he's at scores You say he don't No You say he don't What's the odds? No definitely not One spin Come on man I did that for Grimsby Fuck off Not a chance I'm not doing that for you Because he's like He's going to score As much as it hurts me He is going to score Because it's fucking Why don't you just have Some bollocks for once?

17:57Definitely not Definitely not He's going to score It's written at the start I'll let you have a free spin For Grimsby Grimsby Knocking out Man United is a lot more high odds than a fucking... Yes, it was. Is it really? Yes. Not according to you because every turnover. At the time, what I said was crazy. Nah, not a chance. But next up, we have Chelsea versus the... The what? Seagulls. Oh! Right, this is at Stamford Bridge and I don't know if Palmer's back. They didn't look great in the first half against Lincoln yesterday. Do you know what? I think Mariscu's under pressure. You think? He just won the World Cup.

18:33Mate, they haven't had a good start. Mate, they're starting. to turn. The Chelsea, ye old faithful, are starting to turn. Do you think if they weren't lying to themselves about the World Cup meaning something, they wouldn't have turned? You know what I mean? If they actually thought the Club World Cup meant something, they wouldn't be turning this early? No. If you just won the Champions League, you wouldn't be turning right now? No, I don't think they think it's as big as that. I think it's more a matter of, I think he had a lot of doubt as Maresca, and the Club World Cup just bought him time.

19:02And now, now it's been going slightly badly and some of his decision making has been a bit poor hasn't it I think I think a few are jumping on the bandwagon however I am going to go with I'm going to go 1-1 so many draws predicted I fancy a draw there has been a draw heavy season this I feel

19:24fuck 2-1 Brighton 2-1 Brighton well who's got two shots he got in goal it'll be Sanchez Oh, no, Jorgensen. He was so bad last night, by the way. Oh, my God. 2-1. Yeah, they almost lost to Lincoln. Yeah. Not well. Wait until you come across the spicy seagulls and see if you can handle it. The spicy seagulls? Oh, the spicy. What have they been eating? Minta doing this. Da Bomb. Da Bomb. Or salsa. Hot salsa. Hot salsa. With Doritos. Next up, we have the mighty Leeds against the Borny Bournemouths. what's a barmouth do down there they're the cherries aren't they oh I'll have some cherries please what do Leeds do Leeds isn't it Yorkshire fucking Yorkshire Yorkshire puddings well actually Leeds is nickname what is it the lily whites they just hate you all hate Leeds scum no is that not what they chant I don't think so I think that's what rival fans sing we all hate Leeds scum anyway come on what do you fancy Leeds Bournemouth here I mean it's Bournemouth winning isn't it I'm going to go Bournemouth 3-1 a big scoreline that for Ellen Road which that might be a bit ambitious but Bournemouth are fucking good like they're really good

20:50I think Leeds will get something here

20:55what do I fancy oh this is so it is I just don't know how they're going to turn out Like if Bournemouth just get on them early and quiet the crowd then I know but I feel like Bournemouth are better at home Yeah I'm going to go 2-1 Leeds That is a spicy meatball I think Leeds can pick up a win here Oh my god this next one's brutal Go on Leeds City Burnley Apparently Harland's a doubt Is he? Yeah Oh I just traded him in On what? FPL Yeah apparently he's a doubt I mean that's not You can still have him for another week Right, for me to go first here City Burnley 3-0 City Let's keep it short and sweet Simple 4-0 City I mean, it's going to be lots of goals Yeah, I feel like Burnley I'm going to be able to deal with the firepower And then the half five game This is tasty This is very tasty Forest taking on Seventh in the table Above the mighty mags Sunland What you fancy here, boy?

21:55Angie's Forest against Reggie Le Brie Sunderland, man. Right, they are going to lose at some point. Who? Sunderland. They have lost? Yeah, but they'll lose again. But I keep predicting them to lose. But if I now predict them not to lose, they're going to fucking lose. They've only lost once, to be fair to them. 2-1, Forrest. And that's not agenda. You don't believe that, though. That's not agenda. I'm going with logic. 2-1, Sunderland. Fuck's sake. If that happens, I'm just so... God, Sunderland, man! I just need Sunderland to keep winning, just to wind him up. Do it be, Eddie. It's so good. We're going to fall off eventually.

22:27We want that, though. We want the promoted teams to do well. I don't want them to have a good time doing it, though. I had major doubts of the promoted teams, and they're all, at the minute, especially Leeds and Sunderland, are proving me slightly wrong. So long may it continue. I want them to stay up. Live. And as we round off Saturday night, our baby. Oh, yeah. Just give it to me. Come on, you Spurs. Spurs, Spurs. The mighty, mighty Spurs take on... The Dingleberries. Take on. frothing up the table dingle besteds Tottenham Hotspur 5 Wolves 0 he's actually just said that by the way guys I don't think that's going to happen 3-0 Spurs Wolves are really not very good at football if I was to do my complete tactical breakdown really not very good guys do better There you have it You don't get that with Gary Neville do you?

23:29But on the Sunday We have the villains Who are playing like a bunch of wolf players They're playing like a bunch of villains Alright Against Fulham They're a whore They're playing like they've rubbed their bank Are they going to stop being lazy? You know Emery's been fucking breaking it down I mean Maybe it's to kick up the arse they need Emery might have a breakdown Like Amram if he keeps going Like So now Like he's on the break Amram's doing alright I know That shows I think sometimes you should need let it out Yeah Okay Who's to throw? Mate it's you So 2-1 Aston Villa You keep predicting Villa to win And they keep Letting you down Sancho's going to score 2-1 Fulham please Fulham are going to Go to Villa Park And piss their pants Because Villa are shite They're going to get Points eventually You keep saying this But why do they have To keep getting points Eventually Because they're not Going to end on zero points They're not on zero They're on three Three points And finally The game of the weekend We will be streaming this Live on Pitchside It's the Pitchside Derby guys.

24:25Newcastle at home to Arsenal. I wonder what Lewis will predict. Anyway, I am gonna...

24:40This is tough. It's easy. Just look at history. Look at the current Arsenal. I know they're playing attacking goalkeepers and we should all be very scared. Fuck me. He's gonna turn up at St. James' Park, brick it with three defensive midfielders. 2-1 Arsenal. That's crazy. Who's going to score? They've got loads of players who can score against you. Jokeres is going to be just... They're basically playing with 10 men. It's going to be 2-1 Newcastle. Please do come watch the stream. It's going to be another monumental Theo Baker breakdown. It's going to be fucking beautiful. They can't hack it at St.

25:14James' Park and in the recent history, I'm sorry, but Eddie Howe, every single time, outsmart and outclasses our tether. It's as simple as that. Clip that, please. Literally, by the way, It really is. This is our easy game of the season. Didn't you lose to them in the league last year? If you look at, put them on the screen, the recent last fucking six fixtures of these teams, I think we've lost once. In the Cup, we played them three. Last year, we played them four times, and we beat them every time, didn't we? Or we'd never lost once. No, you lost away, didn't you? You lost in the league away from home, I think.

25:48Yeah, we were going into it winning all three or something, and then they got one finally at the end. you've lost two out of the last five look at that look at the wins painted with green that's not yeah two league cup wins home and away beat them three times last season in the league haven't got a good record do have you yeah we have no if you look at recent like from the takeover no yeah but you're looking pre takeover there like pre Eddie Howe if you look at Eddie Howe win draw loss win loss win win win loss no no no I said in the league just in the league win draw loss win loss loss win loss I mean, yeah, it's not a bad record.

26:24And if you notice, the wins, St. James' Park. Fourth, St. James' Park. I mean, yeah, if it's Emirates, I'd be going for a draw. I wouldn't be surprised if Newcastle win that game. I just think Arsenal will probably have a little bit too much for it. And I don't think Newcastle are a scary team to play at the minute. Yeah, we're not very good at scoring goals. We're very good defensively, though. Yeah, well, we've got three clean sheets in the league so far. Four, three. What, against the mighty Leeds? Wolves. Not Wolves. Wolves. Wolves, Leeds. Aspen Villa. And Bournemouth. Almost, yeah. It's good results, man.