BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 7

0:00Welcome to a new episode of Pitchside with me, Reeve, Thea Baker and Tom Garrett. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap that button right now for new episodes every week? And if you want more Pitchside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where you can find us by typing in Pitchside. Let's get into it. Welcome back to the greatest show on earth. The greatest show that no one ever asked for. The greatest show on the internet. It's better than anything you can find on the internet. Especially in our band. Oh, yeah, there's always a way. Trust me. And we had a fucking sensational weekend.

0:36Before we start, though, before we, first of all, laugh at you for something. I don't know what there is to laugh about. Well, there's multiple things. No, no, no. And second of all, you're welcome. Why? You know why. But before we get into that, I do just want to address one thing. We are filming this before Everton West Ham. Yeah. So Everton West Ham fans, we are sorry. We're not going to talk about the game because we don't know what's going to happen. Actually, I do. West Ham are going to lose 2-1. Everton are going to win. To be fair, is it? And then Joy's going to score and Jude's Bill's going to score.

1:08It is the easiest game to predict on there. Well, no, Nuno's first game. Nuno could cook up a madness anyway. Let's get straight into what happened over the weekend. How did you do? How did you do, Tom? My golden result come in. Yeah? But so did yours. Hell yeah! Thanks to me. Oh, you're celebrating that? I'm celebrating winning you. You're celebrating that? No. Celebrating that golden result that I give you, yeah? I'm celebrating it. So you're happy your team lost? Happy your team lost? But I'll fucking take the points right now. Fake fan. You can tell he's from Middlesbrough, are you lads, eh?

1:38So what happened last week if you didn't watch it? If you didn't watch it, what the fuck are you doing? I predicted 2-1 Newcastle and Tom thought he'd be a funny boy and reverse mulliganed it. Turns out we lost 2-1. I just want to say right now, I knew we were going to lose 2-1 and I just reverse psychologyed you into waste in your reverse mulligan. So we've only got one more week for it. I'm going to have to use mine this week. so maybe you have to reverse psychology, me? Or maybe we reverse psychology each other together? Or I could just put a draw for every game. Would that be a good tactic moving forward?

2:10Well, yeah, because then you can't reverse anything, can't you? You would win lots of points as well. Is this the last week before international break? Oh, if I go draw every game, you can't use it. You'd have to get more points than you did this week. Three! Three is not that bad, considering...

2:30Can I just say, if I wouldn't have used my reverse mulligan, if I just wouldn't have used it all, I would have beat you this week. Yeah. You have been a, what's the footballing phrase? A master of your own downfall. I've shot myself in the foot. Architect of your own downfall. Yes. So the end result for this week is 8-3 to Lewis with the double result, the double points for the golden result, which was Arsenal to win 2-1. I also got my golden result right. Didn't I, Lewis? Yeah. old pesky Sunderland winning away at Forest can we talk about this do you want to apologise say sorry Sunderland fans are currently I don't know if you've seen it they're making like compilations of my predictions from these shows keep making them because I'll keep retweeting them and what I will say to Sunderland is fair play like because I do I'm not even doing it out of bias I do just genuinely keep thinking they're going to lose you also don't watch them they're quite good and they've got a really good manager and they're tough to beat they're solid defensive they've got a great goalkeeper as well the problem is like like they're bound to lose at some point and I guarantee the one time I predict them to either draw or win they're going to fucking lose so I'm going to do it there you go maybe you're reverse jinxing them at the minute shall we go through the ones that stand out on the scores from last week we'll just go through them all yeah as we do every week shall we do it yeah let's do it so Lewis went for a 1-1 draw in the Brentford Man United game I went for a 2-2 draw obviously Brentford won 3-1 we were I was really close with that because if Bruno scores the penalty I will say you were unlucky this week Yeah, I had a few unlucky ones.

4:00Palace, Liverpool, you went with 2-2. That was almost right. A result, anyway. I went with 2-1 Liverpool. Obviously, that was 2-1 Palace. Brighton, Chelsea. Lewis got the correct result there. Good one, that, innit, actually? Yeah, 2-1. Brighton or 2-1. Slightly lucky, though, with the red card. I think Chelsea were in control. Yeah, both there. This is where my look changed. 2-1 Leeds. And they threw it away. And Calvin Lewis missed about four sitters. Ah, fuck me. And that was a bold shout from me. It was. I'll back you this week, Leeds. I'll back you, and you just let me down. But you know what?

4:35You had a go, and I don't mind that. You tried your hardest. Then we both went with a big win. I didn't know you could see me. We both went. There's a telly there with us on it, you fucking dingbat. We both went with big wins for City Burnley. Yeah, I said 4-0. You said 3. And then, obviously, I got the Sunderland result right. like they won away at Forest. You thought Forest would win, which was crazy. Then two stinkers and my player of the week. Oh my God, you said 5-0. I forgot about that. Yeah. 5-0 Tottenham. Do you know what? If he wore the Dingles, I'd have felt sorry for him because they were unlucky.

5:13It was almost a perfect away display. Spurs were terrible. Yeah. Spurs were really bad. Like, it's only a moment of magic at the end that salvaged a point. After Wolves, when one they looked, Spurs scored a brilliant goal. they got disallowed but after that and after Wolves scored they never looked like scoring Spurs it was pitiful of all their fixtures that they've lost and then they go away to Spurs who are quite fancy like yeah and then you finally get a result right for Villa yeah Villa win 2-1 again slightly lucky the header from Jimenez was sexual yeah Fulham were the better Fulham were the better team first half and could have had a penalty maybe yeah but in fairness I think Emery's kick up the arse has finally hit them He's been slagging them off in the press, hasn't he?

5:58And sucking them off in the changing rooms. Obviously, we've been over Arsene Nixle and West Ham is tonight, so we can't talk about that. So, Lewis wins 8-3. A bit of a hammering, a bit of a Ruben hammering. I don't know what the fuck I'm on about. And also, that means now it's 3-3, is that right? 3-3. 3-3 in the end of season. I mean, as funny as it was, reverse mulliganing you, I've fucking shut myself in there I feel like that's some good karma back because I trusted Reeve to stand in for me who's over there and he'd lost me a point and you've gave me a point so I feel like justice has been served Has it?

6:34But I know what it is time for It's time to spin that wheel And thankfully I can't have a change FPL player this week Go Because and again on that as you all saw he fucked me in the arse because Semenyo scored and he's fucked up I don't know what to do now, my future transfers. I'm fuming. He's shit.

7:02I'm in the ghetto. I don't know what I even am rooting for at this point. Spank him, spank him, spank him. Mmm, fucking yes. I don't know what I'm rooting for. As soon as he sees spanking, he gets a boner. Oh, fuck. Oh, for fuck's sake. It's only one, by the way. No, you're not - Fuckers here. No way. I'm joking. Where's the whiteboard? How hard did you go when you hit me? Not that hard. You got three. No, one. I don't know how hard - It's got more than one. It's not a spank. No, I've definitely got three. I'll give you three. It's a spanking.

7:42This is some beauty now. You ready for this? Yeah, just do it. Mm. Oh my God. He's busted. You can't use the rest of it. Was that even hard? Just use the other one. Was that even hard? Can I just shove this spiky bit off?

8:02Was that even hard though? All I do is get degrade. How did that feel? Was that nice? It's not like that actually. It was quite nice actually. It sounds worse than what, it feels, it sounds worse than it feels. Oh wait, did that not mean you get to spank me? Oh shit, sorry I forgot what this was So that means now we've both been spanked So next week there will be a new one on the list Which I think It's wanked No, it's going to be the bomb hot sauce Coming off We are doing that shit Anyway I'll know what time it is Do you know what time it is, producer Will? Do you know what time it is Reeve I do Do you know what's how it is?

8:50People who are locked up in the back back there Yes I do

8:56I do this every time I get like a head rush Okay The admiral is back. I need a big, big week this week, man. And we're kicking it off with a Friday Night Football. Break the button. I lost. You can't see, but there's a weird man who's just... It's a yeti. Who's just broken in. I don't need it yet. Have you got a golden? Delivery for my favorite Mexican and pet. And pet. Thank you. Muchas gracias, señor. Amigo. Thank you, sir! Now, call me! Call me, putt! Oh,

9:56you fucking... Shall we bend the show off? Not him again. You're going to have to cut him out of the show because the viewers don't want the honor. So, we're kicking off with a Friday night foosball, Lewis. It's the Barney Barnmouths. It's the cherries. Oh, look at me, I'm a cherry. Oh, put it in my mouth. Against the West End of Fulham. Oh no Cottage cheese Oh I've got a lovely Little stadium by the river Are you It's a fucking What's his name He lives in the chimney Oliver Twist Yeah He doesn't live in it What are you doing What are you doing Just coming in He's ruining the best show On pitch side Anyway He's jealous He's not in it And he just Ra ta ta ta Ra ta ta ta Okay Seeing as though I lost Yeah I get the first pick here You do And it absolutely reeks, it reeks, ooh, pooey pooey of a 1-1 draw.

10:48Oh, I don't mind that. I do not mind. Actually, no. 2-1 Bournemouth. Oh. I changed my mind. Well, I tip my cap to you, sir, because I will take his 1-1. Oh. Because just off the fact that I want to get to next week and be able to say, you could have had that, son. Ah, yeah, you like that, don't you? Yeah, I like the storyline. You like that, don't you, you bastard? But next up, we have the Leeds-y-Leeds. Leeds-Leeds. Oh, Yorkshire Pudders. Yorkshire Pudders. against the Cockerels. Ow. Tottenham Hots... What? They're not Wolves. Owls. Owls. That just looks like you're choking us. Lees for Spurs are home at Ellen Road.

11:28That's a tricky one, that. He's a tricky, tricky little tinker. Big Frank ain't quite the big hand, it's seeming so far. He's better, isn't he? Victory sip. We'll be having a few of those today, boys. I go first here. I'm going to say... it's a hard place to go you've got Sean Longstaff cooking scoring screamers the thing is they just struggle to score like it sounds stupid because they scored twice but they should have scored five the weekend 2-1 Spurs I think is a fair result I think they'll sneak it that was going to be mine but now it's mine look at my chest everyone you don't get this from Gary Neville yeah you do are you not subscribed to his only fans I love those clips when Gary Neville was staring off and he was like, you alright?

12:16I bet you didn't think you'd be getting interviewed by me. Yeah, you're boring, mate. 3-1 Spurs.

12:25Okay, next round. Oh, we've got a fucking land in the Derby, you f***er. We like drawing. Except against Newcastle. Oh, you dirty, dirty bitch. Now, we don't know how Nuno's got on in his first game, but I know how he's going to get on in his second game. Also, they're going to batter him 3-0. That's a good prediction, is it? I'd go a step further. 4-0 Arsenal. Arsenal have learned that maybe if we play offensive playing players, we might actually win games and score goals. They do do that against the shitter teams though, they did it. Do-do. Hey, they did it against, talking to do-do. It's your two favourite teams.

13:02Fucking Man United mad for it up against the mighty Sunderland man. Sunderland. Champions League, Champions League, Sunderland, Sunderland, Sunderland, Champions League, Sunderland, Sunderland, Sunderland. This is like asking me, do I want you to take me mam on a date or my dad? Well, I've already got with your mum, so probably your dad. Yes, I'm having my dad, yeah. Who do you hate more? Sunderland. Do you though? Because you're talking about Man United more. You're a bit obsessed. Sunderland have been quite irrelevant to us for a while, those words. A little bit obsessed. I do love hate watching Man United, don't get me wrong.

13:31I think this is tricky. I'm going to have to, out of pure bias, out of pure bias, I will stress, I'm going 2-1 Man United. Clip it! Clip him again I am going to go with Can I not change that? No, you're locked in I should say 2-2 I'm going to go 2-1 Sunderland They're going to do it again, mate What the Sunderland man? I just want to say His is most likely correct I sort of lost my head there No, don't, don't Cut all this shit Because he's doing it Because he's scared of the Sunderland fans Who clip him Keep clipping Keep clipping his chimp Keep clipping It's good for the show actually No it's like My brain Says you're 100 % right Because Man United are useless And Sunderland are actually Looking really good For a team that just came up Actually no I'm going to go 2-2 No you can't change to 2-2 I was just trying No I just said to change to 2-2 Not a chance Don't you dare put him 2-2 We've done that before No I just said I want to go to 2-2 Once you go first And then I get to speak No fuck off mate Not a chance Not a chance He's 2-1 as well I said 2-2 Not a chance No change him back He's not getting 2-2 What do you want then?

14:45I said 2-2 And you were like No no no No he's not 2-2 You can change him back Right next up We've got Chelsea Liverpool The biggest game Of the weekend We are streaming it Live on Pitchside Is that screen frozen? Yeah it's frozen You're up first Oh no I'm up first I think it's Is it I don't know What about this one? You can change him off 2-2. Like he's not, I'm not, not a chance. We'll discuss it later. No, no, no, not a chance. I don't know why you're giving him that. Alex, you said I wanted 2-2. We'll discuss it after the show. Not a chance. We'll discuss it after the show, right. Fucking hell, he's afraid of him.

15:24Oh, this is always his go-to. He's scared of him. Because I said I wanted 2-2. You're like, no, you can't change. We're doing it for this. We're doing it for this right now. It's going to change. It's going to be 2-1. Calm down. I want 2-2. Put the vein away. Eat my ass on the wheel Eat my ass on the wheel I'm going to win every week You can get deep in there

15:48At least you haven't got angry today Well done buddy Right Chelsea Liverpool I'm going to go with Fuck I just feel like Chelsea playing at home every week Because they played at home last week That's probably why 2-1 Liverpool yeah 2-1 Liverpool I think

16:13he's trying I think a TK's back so they might actually score come on buddy I know you just lost your head I think I'm going to go 2-2 I feel like Chelsea you can't have that mate sorry have another one nice I think I'm going 2-2 I fancy them he's like only playing so that's a benefit for Liverpool he dropped a nice 6 rating it was a good start I think you need to let this obsession go. We're talking about the game. It can't be healthy. This is relevant punditry. Is it? We're here to divulge information. Yeah, but why don't you mention any of their other players who didn't play well? I don't happen to track their performances that much.

16:48Did you watch the game? No. So how did you know he had a stinker? Looked it up afterwards. Right. That's very interesting, isn't it, guys? Just research. You're seeing the true Lewis Bowden here. It's just market research. You've just seen the true Lewis Bowden two minutes ago with the vein, the angry vein. and now you're seeing the pure bias coming out of that. 130 million for four completed passes is a good deal is what I'm saying. You keep changing that completed passes. I can't remember what it was. Yesterday you said it was none. No, I said one. No, you said zero. I said one. Did he not say zero?

17:20I said one. You said zero. And then we checked it up and it was six and then you've changed it to three. It wasn't six. It was four out of six. It was six. He's just a liar. Two of them were kickoff. Anyways. Also, we don't know of that for a fact. You didn't watch the game, how do you know? Just no, sometimes. You full of shit. Next up, we have the Villa versus where are the Bernie Burnleys? On to Sunday's, yeah, Sunday's fixtures, these are. Right, it's the fucking Claret and Blue Derby. Oh, yeah. Who's going to come out on top? And the loser keeps the colours. No, the winner keeps the colours.

17:54And then they play West Ham in the final. Just terrible, terrible content this is. How many people watch this shit? Right Villa It's you to go first Isn't it What have you got Is next to each other Get me away from him Is it me to go first Put him below me Where he belongs Is it me to go first Yeah because I put Liverpool 2-1 first 3-1 Villa That one came from the heart That

18:23You like that I can feel it 1-0 Burnley You're not scared To go a bit Fucking Crazy mode Who won this week because of me you're welcome you're welcome victory sip hit it off my teeth yeah that was every time you try and be cool you actually end up looking like an idiot anyway

18:52Everton Palace is next up another why is there so many two o 'clock games is it because of Europe Europe as Adam Pearson would say

19:01Where are the boys Going to Europe

19:08Anyway Sorry mate But that is How he speaks Everton versus Palace At The Hill Dickinson Stadium I am This is a hard one I feel like the last few weeks Have been really difficult Why can't you just give me Fucking Leeds versus Arsenal. That is a very tasty fixture. 1-1. I wanted that, you didn't do it. 1-1. 2-2. You're such a pussy. Have an opinion either way. Sitting on the fence, fucking embarrassing. Yeah, I just... Whenever they're too hard to split, don't split them, guys. Anyway. Oh, this is tasty, baby. Newcastle who are currently below Sunderland in the league and below Intermall Man United in the league take on Angers Forest at St.

20:07James's which you're going to you're going to be there if we lose well done buddy finally going to a game if we lose to Angers Forest then like cheesy peeps is he under pressure? no well he's under pressure to win if you lose 4-0 is Eddie Howe under pressure? no oh you had it here first I'm not going to lie like fucking hell please let us win this one like because Jesus go on then if we lose to these 2-1 Newcastle I was gonna go for that yeah I'll get 2-0 2-0 Newcastle the thing is I don't think it's we make it look easy like I think we make it a bit yeah but you're the mighty mag you've got all the best players in each position surely this should be easy I don't say that I think you do no I don't yes you do when you say it all the time You're getting very high, bitch.

20:59And next up we've got, oh my God. Wolves don't tend to like playing teams with Albin in the name at home in the league. Do you boys? Hey, do you? Do you will? You don't like it? It might be 5-1 again, this, isn't it, you dingle fucker? Anyway, Brighton are going to get to the Molyneux and absolutely take a dump on you like most Seagulls do. They're going to go and win 3-1 to Brighton.

21:26Come on Albion The Woofie Wolves Are in action They just did well Against The erm The Cockrell Spurs Call me crazy Call me Call me I don't think I need to Look at the state here Don't talk Look at the camera Don't talk to the Admiral Like that Well at the minute You look like An absolutely Bat shit crazy Admiral I don't know why Your hat's like that Your glasses are all wonky You're fucking Sorry I was going to Go in on you then I'm not going to be horrible About your appearance But you Your hat and your glasses look absolutely crazy. You've crossed your arms. I'm trying to keep my straight ears looking at him like...

22:05Come on. I can't remember what I was going to say. You said you were going to be crazy. Oh, yeah. Go on, be crazy. Oh! One-nil, Wolf!

22:18Fucking hell! They have to win at some point, don't they? Do they? Do they? Statistically, Really? They don't have to win though, do they? A little bit Fuck it, innit Sometimes you go to shake and bake Fuck it, innit Shake and bake, my G Fuck it, innit Okay Brentford Man City Now look at me Look me in the eyes Oh my god, they're so blue No Stop, no Hold my hand Hold my hand as I say this Shall I be crazy? Yeah Shall I be really crazy? What? What were you saying? Just kidding Had to ruin it, didn't he? He just had to ruin it. Sorry. 3-1 Man City. Oh, no, it's... How's that crazy? How was any of that crazy?

23:04Don't worry about it. Oh, it's your go. Oh, it's me. 3-1 Man City.