BONUS: Premier League PREDICTIONS Show EP. 8

0:00Welcome to a new episode of Pitchside with me, Reeve, Thea Baker and Tom Garrett. If you haven't already hit follow, why not tap that button right now for new episodes every week? And if you want more Pitchside, catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram where you can find us by typing in Pitchside. Let's get into it. Anyway, welcome back to the Prediction Show. Hey! Look, obviously, international break. What have you been up to, mate? Nobody cares. Should we talk about the scores from the last round? I would absolutely love to. Because as you know, going into this last round, I was actually two wins in a row, caught up, and we were 3-3 on the scoreboards.

0:40In fairness, one of them a bit of a fugazi one because I gave it, yeah. Beast Mode doesn't care. Also, should we talk about that guy on the KSI video who wore the Beast Nation? We haven't mentioned that anywhere. If you are a virgin, Beast Nation shirts are available for you. Apparently, they're very popular. Basically I don't know if anyone saw KSI did a video Guess the Virgin And lo and behold A Virgin walked out With Lewis's merch Yes Hey we accept all Virgins I was one at one point But then I became a lad I'm still a Virgin You're still a Virgin Still a Virgin Yeah we kicked off With the Friday night game A wet and windy one At Bournemouth If you do remember I actually took the lead here Because I was so unlucky as well Why the fuck did Semenya score This is Yeah He saved my arsehole So I predicted 2-1 and obviously they scored in the last kick of the game to make it 3-1.

1:31What's even more funny as well, if you remember, if you're an avid fan of this, thank you very much, I actually swapped out Semenyo on your FPL team as one of the forfeits on the wheel, which means you got fucked up, son. So you've just been making my life a living hell. Yeah, you had a howler as well, and he didn't even bring him back in either. And then moving on, this is your first or only correct scoreline. I don't know, but it was a big one for me. Yeah, it would have been my only correct one, I think. Did you see some of the chances Spurs missed? I was so unlucky this week. Like, so... I predicted 3-1.

2:01It was obviously 2-1. So, Lewis gets the fucking points on that. So unlucky, guys. Trust me. Do you know what happens when you're unlucky several times in a row? You just might actually be shit and you might owe me an apology. But we'll get onto that, won't we? 2-1 for Tottenham, as predicted correctly by me. Tip of the cap to you? I doth my cap, sir. But then I did get my golden result. Yet again, Arsenal couldn't get a third because they're fucking shit. I predicted 3-0. Lewis predicted 4-0 so we both I've got the two points Lewis got the one this is where you start seeing some of your tactics fall apart because at Old Trafford they were hosting Sunderland and Tom went bold Concarney I don't think he was that bold like Sunderland have been good it's one of those where it is against the odds you were out there yeah I just don't go with the flow like you I don't just look at the odds and go with that I'll go with my feeling that's nice I like winning though I said 2-1 Man United he said 2-1 so I just picked up a nice little point I think that's a that's the tale of the story today Tom the what?

2:59that's the telltale of the day is it? yep I was getting like picking up little points here and there shut the fuck up Liverpool, Chelsea I went with 2-1 Liverpool it was actually 2-1 Chelsea none of us got the points there because you were with a 2-2 draw I did indeed stinky that was fine though very stinky very stinky selection well let's get on to this Aston Villa versus Burnley you said 1-0 win away for Burnley I said 3-1 win Aston Villa I knew the villains were finally going to come good. Burnley was shocking. They were. They were really bad. Oh, and talking of unlucky, another last minute injury time goal stops me from getting a correct scoreline because Jack Grealish, I love you, mate, but fuck you.

3:45Why? Why did you have to do that? Why? Why? I went with 1-1. Lewis went with 2-2, which was stinky again. Yeah. it obviously wasn't 1-1 it was 2-1 to Everton so I want to shoot myself also I've got a really bad neck so everything's just falling apart in my life so can everyone just leave a comment saying Lewis is a specky chimp with no friends it would make me feel a lot better thank you Newcastle hosted Ange who survived the international break well done big Ange well done shouldn't have I went with a 2-1 win Newcastle you went 2-0 it was an interesting game that I was actually there because I'm a match-going fan.

4:24Oh, wait, I got the correct score. Then moving on to Brighton Wolves. We both got this wrong because it was a 1-1 draw. I went with an away win and you went with a home win. And then you reversed my score for the City-Brennford game. Reverse Mulligan, bitch. Which are now back. We both have hours back. Yeah, we have them back until the next international break, which is what, in like a month? Yeah, boy. So we've probably got four or five weeks to play that. I've already eyed mine up, I think. But yeah, Lewis Golden resulted it. So he gets the two points So that means The final result Was 9-7 To the Admiral

5:01You're not the Admiral You're not the Admiral I'm not saying I am the Admiral The Admiral predicted them He's not here yet That is true You're going to give yourself A fucking half of time It's 4-3 It's 4-3 Oh my god right anyway well come on then you're losing all your aura this might be a bigger aura loss than when we shaved your beard I'm not gonna lie no I don't think so it's getting there because when will it end Gabby why if I just keep on winning for the rest of the season if that happens I'll let you fuck me

5:43I don't know what's going on what the fuck don't know fucking up lightheaded Yeah, it went a bit over the top there, didn't it? Trying to make myself as great as possible. You've gone all bloodshot in your eyes. That's what it means to me. Also, before we get on to this, you may notice that this looks different and, dare I say it, shite. Yeah. What it is, because yet again, the fellas just can't leave us alone. No, they can't. They can't just let us be this successful show that just gets on with stuff and we just... Running their whole studio. Yeah, we put the content out, we get all the fucking views, all the fucking listens.

6:16For you people watching and listening, they're taking our fucking wheel writing their shit on it and just leaving it and they've done it with permanent marker so we can't get it fucking off. And ironically, the video they used that for is a video they stole of us. They stole. Luckily, producer Will has a brain so he's taken a photo of it before so basically whenever it lands on he's got the photo of what it would be because it's colour coded obviously so without further ado it's time to spin the wheel. It's been so long I'm so bad to do this. It's lovely. Don't forget your mic. Don't forget your dick in your ass.

6:54Okay. Now, what I want you to do here is spin that wheel. Who are you trying to be there? Carriker? Carriker? Have you spin it right there? Why are you doing the my face when you say that? I think that's my impersonation face. All right. We ready? You got it ready? Whoa. Oh, that was a sudden stop. What the fuck? Who's tightened this up? So you've got light blue. What's that? Text someone saying I love you Okay I hate the texting ones, those shouldn't be on the board But it is a texty con carne Who are we gonna message? Who are we gonna message? You've already looked through my contacts before Fuck yeah, and Tom has a ridiculous amount of Should I just like scroll like this and stop?

7:43Ellis Forber Based by Footworm him. He'd probably love it. I haven't seen him since I was like 17. That's why he'd love it. Is that you texting? Who's Laura Gill? Laura Hill. She's a... Gill with a Spanish flag. Yeah, she was a Spanish tennis player at the university I went to. She's a lesbian. So you can happily text her. Aidan IQ producers. That's the Aidan.

8:17That's fucking beautiful That's so funny isn't it I don't really care about this one I love you's nice at least And I feel like Girls are off limits Yeah I'm not going to I don't fancy getting into that I cannot believe How many names you have in your phone book You do realise I was a fucking I've had this number since I was like I can't even remember You've got to remember But I've actually worked normal jobs and have built up a lot of... Rosie Odell, I know there as well. That would be funny. A load of connections, shall we say. Come on, guys. You know how it goes when you're a salesman and that.

8:57Come on. Mate, I'm just trying to find a name that I kind of actually recognise. But like, Bilal Qureshi. Oh, he was a dentist. I sold him a dental... Okay, can you message Bilal Qureshi saying I love you? Uh, no. Okay. That's a, that, no.

9:27Um, Smithy. Smithy. From Soccer AM. Is that it? Yeah. Would you say I love him to him? Would that be awkward? I've got his number. Yeah, Smithy Soccer AM. Oh yeah, you can text him. I'll bring that in. Right, I'm going to pick a nice one. I think this guy would appreciate this. And hey, I might get you onto a big channel. of Sky Sports. Smithy from Soccer AM. Now he's on Saturday. Frankie Fryer. Keep your nap down. Keep your nap down. Oosh! Beast mode. So I've got to text him. Text or WhatsApp? I'm a bit of a potato, innit? Just tell him you love him. Because we're sharing love on this programme.

10:03Okay. I think WhatsApp's better. I think that comes across more real. I don't text people. I love you. That's it. We're the full star. Maybe a kiss. Okay. Put a kiss. Send. Yeah. He's a nice guy, Smithy. He'd appreciate that. Okay. He'll reply with kindness. I think he'll go, is everything okay at home, mate? Hey, shout out to Smithy. Hopefully he sees us. I mean, I love Smithy. I used to love him. He's a legend, mate. The old fucking Frankie Fryer. Fucking boy, oh man. Do you remember that time he kidnapped those kids? Tied them up in the back of his van? We can't slowly Smithy's name like this.

10:38Not that Smithy. James Corden Smithy? Oh, Sniffy. What? I don't know. Anyway, do you know what time it is? I'm not too sure. Actually, I do know what time it is. Have you... You're new here. Do you know what time it is? Yeah, yeah. Are you sure? Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, I think we're all ready.

11:01Fucking hell. Let's predict the Premier League, man!

11:19So as you just heard there, we're about to predict the Premier League. So let's get right into it. But I must say, every time... Wait, wait, wait. Oh my God, the Admiral is here and you look absolutely mental. Oh my God. I'm so sorry for watchers and not listeners. Every time I do this each week, I do feel like my head's going to explode. Why? I don't know. I think I'm getting more intense with the predict. You're getting a bit wrong, like. No, I love it. Oh, okay. It's like a high. And hey, we love you guys. We see the comments. We see the appreciation. Also, impressive pop of the balloon with the spoon.

11:56I thought I just went in with pure aggression. Yeah, that was kind of hot. I did a lot of hot things today. It's what the Admiral does. Did you? Good night. What the fuck are we doing again? Yeah, thank you very much for the support on the prediction show. Yeah, you guys seem to be loving it. It's what you need to do. You need to share it. You need to like it. You need to sub. You need to comment. How much of an ugly specky fat chump Lewis is? He's doing 75 hard-dose. He's soon to be a ripped mother effer. Right, let's get into it. Nottingham Forest take on Chelsea in the half-twelve game. That's a tasty little half-dose.

12:28Oh, we like trees. Save the Amazon. I'm from Sherwood Forest. Robin Hood. Where's Sherwood Forest? In Nottingham. Oh, that's fucking big. Is that why they called it? Is that why they named themselves the Forest Trees? Probably, yeah. Fuzzies. Are you thick? What do they call themselves? The fucking foresters No, the tricky tree The tricky tree Yeah, I actually think they do call themselves the tricky tree Lads, we can do better than that We can do better than that, lads We'll come up with something new for you Forest's nickname is like, just forest? I don't know, Google that I don't know what their nickname is Wood The trees Anyway, it's me to go first as I lost Again Sounds familiar Forest at home to Chelsea International break And really needs this The Reds The Tricky Trees Yeah, it's the Tricky Trees Or simply Forest The Garibaldis Right I'm going with a 2-1 away win Chelsea, please Over to you, Chimp Very interesting Smelly Chimp The Chimp has left This is the Admiral Thank you very much I'm going to go with 3-1 Chelsea Chelsea.

13:40Ange isn't going to get it done, even though I give a big speech for him to give him time to impress. Yeah, you keep saying in his time, but you predict him to lose every week. He should have time. Do you think he gets sacked if they lose 3-1? I think they give him... It depends how bad it looks, isn't it, really? I do, yeah. I think if there's... Because it's Chelsea, but it's at home, so they'd hope to get at least a point. Surely, over this little period, he's been able to get his system in a bit better. I kind of wish I put a draw on, but I'm going to stick with 3-1. I think they'll give him a game this weekend for us.

14:06I do think he will be able to implement, actually some form of, what do we call it? Like tactic. Oh yeah, what do we call it? Tactics. Fucking shut up, you dickhead. Brighton against your mighty mags at the Amex. Do you have a good record there? I feel like you don't. I feel like we don't. I just remember on the season we got promoted, there was that Diame wonder goal, remember, where he just hit off his heel and flicked in the corner. It got us promoted, basically that. I don't remember that. Basically, someone smacked the ball off his heel and it fluked up in the air and went in. So it wasn't a wonder goal, it was lucky.

14:36It was a wonderful goal. Oh. My bra. I doth my crap. I am excited about what I'm saying about Newcastle, especially one particular German. I'm going to say this is a game that we must win to reach our ambitions this year. Must win? If we want to reach our ambitions this year, we need to go on a run now. We've lost points. We have to make up points. Okay. I think we win 3-1. Ooh. Yeah. I'm going bold. I just think we're that team. Oh, don't you do that, mate? I think you win as well, actually. What the frick? 2-1 Newcastle. 2-2. What am I? Oh, that's that one. Next up, it's... Oh, my God, we've got a shit.

15:19We've got fucking Burnley. Burnley kicking on... Yorkshire puddings in my mouth. We like to eat them. You do realise Yorkshire puddings aren't actually from Yorkshire? Where are they from? They're from your mum's pussy. I think Leeds

15:38Let's hope Miss Bowden ain't watching She don't watch this She ain't watching this shit Burnley leads Oh my god You know Usually I do look at the Fixtures beforehand I didn't last time I have this time I've been eyeing this up I never look man And I've been just going Back and forth Firstly I thought 1-0 Burnley Like solid at home Like good at home But then I thought like last year Leeds this is a tough one football it's anyone's game 1-1 oh you've stole my score that's my favourite saying I'm going to say 2-1 Leeds then yeah I was I was literally between 1-0 Burnley 2-1 Leeds I've got in the middle I feel like it will be if it's going to be a draw it has to be 1-1 but if anyone wins it it has to be 2-1 that is my football analysis I have visions right I can actually have visions of that away end going mad and Leeds getting like a last minute winner.

16:32Yeah, and you messaging and chatting, you lucky twat. Yeah, literally. Next up, we've got Crystal Palace. Oh, the fucking Eagles. The fucking Eagles taking on the cherries. And they're going against Bournemouth. Oh, would you like a cherry on that cake, you little bitch? I just said take it. Why is he turning into the gingerbread man off Shrek? That's what they do over Borny. Oh, not for cherries. Not for cherries. Is it me to go first? No, it's you, isn't it? Who is it? This is a hard one. I went first, yeah, it's you. This is a hard one to predict. like two of the better teams in the league at the moment.

17:01They actually are. Top, mate, title contenders according to you. You know, all the rest of you out the race. Exactly. I'm going to go fuck my ass. Oh, horny boy. That is such a hard game to predict. Or is that nipple creeping out or fold that away? Yeah, this is a toughie. Two, two, two, two. I think, that was so hard. I think Palace win this 2-1. I was close to seeing that. Oh, that's my favorite thing. I was going to say 2-1 to Bournemouth as well, though. There's definitely a two involved. No, it is really hard. Bournemouth are looking fucking class. Crystal Palace finally lost, but they're still the mighty Seagulls.

17:43Are they? Mean Eagles. There we go. Next up, we've got Madflet, Madflet, Madflet against... Yes, the strikers wearing apples and bras! Apples? What is it again? Knickers. That makes it a lot more often. It's the Jack Grealish derby, guys. Man City take on Everton he's going to cook this game you know he's gone oh he's not going to play is he because he's on loan oh that's such woke nonsense isn't it it's always been a rule I know but it's fucking to be out shouldn't it would you say it's outdated I would say so Man City take on Everton I think this is probably going to be a comfortable home win Everton aren't very good away from home 3-0 City Jesus 2-0 City I don't think it's that many they haven't been as potent in front of goal as I would like to see from Man City.

18:29That is pretty true. Didn't they score five in their last home game? Anyway, moving on to Sunderland against Wolves. Wait, was it? Yeah. I thought it was 1-0 Brentford. Their last home game they scored five against Burnley. Yeah. Harland's got nine goals this season but not very potent. Unlike the footballer who was very potent. Oh no, that's potent. Why don't you shut up and give me a prediction for your favourite team against my most hated team. I wouldn't say Wolves are my favourite team. For him, Sunderland, Sunderland, checking on the fucking dirty dingo bastard. This is the... We hit these clubs derby.

19:07We're rooting for each other's teams. Like, who we hit. Yeah, I want Sunderland to win more than anything. And I want Wolves to win. No, you don't. Okay.

19:18I don't know. They're both... I mean, it's Sunderland at home and admittedly, they've been very good at home. They're all beaten at home. And Wolves are one of the worst. Is Strand Larson back? I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are they looking up? They looked better in their last game. Did they? What was the score? Cannot remember. Did they play? Can't remember. So they looked better, did they? I just remembered. Now this is what you tune in for, guys. They did look better. Who did they play again? They did okay against Brighton. Yeah, they were better. Their manager made some questionable subs.

19:50Ah, no, I recall. I'm going to go. They can't defend. I think there's a lot of goals in this game because I'm going 2-2. I think Wolves are going to improve. I don't mind that. That's annoyingly quite good. But Sunderland will score goals. They're at orb. Two on Sunderland. Up to Sunderland, man. I could do with Sunderland fucking losing for once. It's going to be hilarious if Wolves lose that. Do me head in them. Oh, my fucking God. Do you know what we've got next? Cottage cheese with me, please, sir. What is it? Oh, it's a Derby day, baby. What is it, though? It's a fucking... What is it? North.

20:25It's a fucking London Derby, you can't! Fucking yeah, baby. Jesus. Who runs their long... Oh my god, put your burger nipple away. Oh shit, sorry. Fucking hell. I'm sorry, that's not very ladylike on me. Fucking Fallon, the WestEnders, taking on the North London Arsenal fuckers. My dad watched me play! That's not... My dad watched me play! The game against Fullham! Hey, Glenn! All that. Glenn. Yeah, that's how you'll be remembered for life. Our little porn in our film. It's me to go first, isn't it? Yeah, baby. At the Cottage, half five, on a Saturday evening. I'd love them to beat Arsenal. 1-1.

21:06Arsenal getting so ahead of themselves. I think Fulham get a result. Yeah, yeah. I don't think they do, though. I just want Fulham to do something. Fulham have that feeling. I feel like when it's a night game at Craven Cottage, they're pretty good. Yeah. I think Arsenal go ahead here and Fulham come back. when the Wolves come out of that. I'm going to say 2-0 Arsenal. They'd love a 2-0. They get one, they get two and then just sit and defend all game. Cheers. Fucking hell, there's a lot of games, isn't there? This is groundbreaking. Yeah, it's almost like there's 20 teams in the league. Next door.

21:42Yeah, go on then. We have, on the Sunday. Is this... Oh, we don't have a day full of football. This is like a prime Premier League fixture, isn't it, this? Spurs Verse Villa The dirty Dirty Villa bastards The dirty Brummie I'm a villain I'm a villain Sorry

22:09You know this is going on telly Yeah Fucking look at me Jesus Christ Would you put me My other girlfriend Imagine Imagine like this all goes Tits up and you have to try And get a job Tits up baby Imagine you, oh my fucking god, man, this is so... Mate, what happens if you have to try and get a job after this? I actually think about that, you know, I'm fucked. What is it they say about things never disappearing off the internet? What's the saying? Well, I think that's it. No, it's not. It's like, it's... Anyway. Well, nowadays, I think this is perfectly fine. True. I'm just wearing, I'm just wearing, I'm breaking fashion trends.

22:51It's you to go first. Fucking hell, where do you guys? Spurs are home to Villa. The mighty Tottenham Hotspur. That is a tricky one, my G. But I tell you what, fam, I'm going to go 2-1 Spurs. 3-1 Spurs for me. You raised me, eh? I raise you your 2-1, you fat fucker. But then we have another game, half four, get in. Big one this. Is this what we're streaming? Yes, it is. It certainly is. It's one of the biggest derbies in the world. Liverpool vs. Ooh, you stinky devil. Mad for it, mad for it, mad for it, mad for it. Manchester. United, United. Fucking Sir Alex. 20 times United. Fucking Jamie Hutchinson.

23:35Fucking Ryan Giggs. Fucking Paul Scholes. Fucking Carrick. He's from Newcastle. He played for Man United. Fletcher. Fucking the Stone Roses, man. You said Cleverson? The fucking Georgie Best on the fucking Ales, mate. And then Spurs, who have... What are you on about? They're not playing Spurs, you fucking idiot. You have one job. We have one job. And then... That's... Who made the Beatles? You know about the fucking Beatles and Paddy the Maddie like? If you stop it right there! Let's move on. Liverpool, Man United. Fucking hell. I'm going to go 3-1 Liverpool. I want a demolition job from Liverpool today.

24:20Actually, no, I don't, because that means Isaac will probably score.