Why Amorim Has To Go! Ranking The PL'S Top 10 Strikers And Picking The Ultimate North v South XI's!

26:04there's no deflection there's no deflection Paul Amens by the way what's he got to do to get a game? even the couple of saves he made the one is so over the top and like just catch it you fucking idiot he is fucking useless and United will not improve under him I'm sick of him under him Wayne Rooney club legend obviously has said the soul of his club has gone and he has no faith in Amarin I think the players are sick of it as well of course they are you can see they are they're looking from the sideline and thinking like even Ange will change a formation like you don't have to maintain the exact yeah it's stubbornness to be unbelieved you can believe in like Pep is like the whole philosophy he's the whole like blueprint of this is what I play he changes the way he plays at Arsenal like the best managers in the world can adapt It's an ego thing.

26:59I think he's self-sabotaging. I really do. I think he wants the sack and get the payout and just fuck off back to Sporting Lisbon. Because there's no way, no one with an actual brain cell or isn't like severely depleted in the head wouldn't change something here. Because it's not working, is it? They got lucky last week against Chelsea with the red card and still could have lost that game because they were still poor or average at best. Do you reckon he's just dug his heels in so deep now if he changes it? People are like, he should have changed it. No, no, no. it's an arrogant thing it's an arrogant thing isn't it then it's like it's ego arrogance and I think he's half you saw the interview after Grimmins but I think he's half got a foot out and he won't leave so he wants to pay out and wants to get sacked who is the answer because there's been strong rumours of Gareth Southgate there's loads Southgate would be better than this fucking idiot by the way which is metal because he sacked Ashworth for even suggestion suggesting Southgate I don't know that he's that it was part of that was his suggestion so yeah you know Ashworth didn't want to air Amurim The Glasner is just the wrong appointment.

27:58He plays the same style of football in the same formation as Man United and that doesn't work with the players Man United have. Herzler. No, no, but Glasner can adapt. He'd probably can adapt. He'd be better than this fucking idiot. He's an idiot. Xavi. I mean, those four there that are... Mine would be an Iriola. I'd go for Iriola. All better than Amrim. My old man, he's just had a knee replacement, would be better. First of all, starting for Man United. Because he could play for them at the minute. But he also would be better in charge. Carrick? Michael Carrick? Anyone? Only got a soldier. Bring him back to the house.

28:37He actually was better for them. Gladstone's the biggest... Gladstone's the highest. It's just for Man United. It's just, again, you went down the wrong path. So what? So what? Don't run out. Shit happens. Change it. Now. Fucking insanity. I want it to steer me. I love it. I can't get enough of it. Yeah, but he won't. There's already... He might get a few little wins. The fact that we already know November the 1st is the deadline for when they've got a fair match means that he's probably gone in a month and a half anyway. I've seen the Man United sort of outlets were saying that Sir Jim is like on his side and thinks he should have a season with a squad that he teams.

29:11That's arrogance from himself. Which would be like... He doesn't want to admit he was wrong. Yeah, exactly. So it's sort of... But then I don't think he has full say, does he? I'm sure the board can just be like, no, he's fucking gone. Like, we're 18th. I'm not sure Southgate they're not they're still I don't think Southgate is probably the answer Southgate would definitely improve him he could do an interim job this season for sure and bring some form of stability but I don't think he's the future of Man United my fucking bum fluff would be a better replacement anyone would be a better replacement I'm not even joking if Amarin gets the season just do it what?

29:46just put gogly eyes on him no like you just put a If Ameren gets the season, he won't. There's no way he lasts. If he does, could they get relegated? No. Doubt it. There's teams worse than them even in turmoil. Why not? Because there are teams way worse than things have happened. Have they? Name one thing stranger other than Leicester winning the title. That's what I was going to say. Leicester winning the title. He is allowed to see it. In terms of relegation, name a stranger thing. Newcastle getting relegated. Are you thick? No, they won't get out. That's a good delivery, really. I don't like football at the moment why?

30:23look at it is it because you have only one winning fight? it is only six games calm down it's just football can Wolves go down? round of applause Wolves have finally got their first point well done boys well done boys you useless bastards I'm just having a good time at Forest as well that was a good decision from Mr. Mavra what's his name again? no but you Mavra Panos Louis say sorry to him now sorry Mr. Mavra Panos But you guys said He'd be a great appointment Did I? I said he'd win him the trophy You said he'd win Forrester Trophy I never said that I'm not even sure I remember getting shouted at For saying Ange Is a terrible appointment You're just making things up I'm not making things up I'm not making things up And to make it even worse Nuno's actually going to Leap frog Ange anyway He's going to do a great job Do you reckon?

31:14I think Until he falls out With the owners It'll be This will go well For a year This will go well for a year and a half. They got rid of their head of recruitment as well, didn't they? How do you know all these things, mate? Who? Who did? West Ham. You're not seeing that? I've actually watched stuff. What's his name? I can't remember, but he's shit-like, isn't he? I don't know. He's full krug. He's the head of recruitment? Yeah, they've removed full krug. Anything to get him off the pitch. Is Nuno's style too negative for West Ham? I think they've learned the lesson that they should not complain about the style.

31:48What is the West Ham way? West Ham fans want exciting... No, it's prompting us here, but I don't even know what that fucking means. West Ham fans want exciting football and they want to win stuff. But it doesn't work for them. They have the place in everyone. No, but when they won a trophy under Moyes, they were like, oh yeah, but we're not playing the way we want to play. I'm glad they learned the lesson. Yeah, but unfortunately, success comes from being pragmatic first, doesn't it? Like, if you don't lose games, then you're going to be more successful. Do you know the whole West Ham way? Do you know when I think of West Ham, I think like, oh, East London, like proper just grit, like...

32:17Smash them. Yeah, like smash into people, like good atmosphere, like tough place to go. I don't think all like Wenger's Arsenal. No, you think Di Canio, Joe Cole. I don't. That's not what I think of. I don't think of West Ham. West Ham, when they've ever been successful, like when they had like Marlon Harewood and players like that, they were tough to beat. They weren't this fucking... Nigel Rio Koka. Upton Park, horrible place to go. It wasn't like this fucking lovely passing football. Paul Koncheski, yeah. come work innit I'm glad that they've done shit since Moise left I'm glad Moise did well because I said at the time it was like fucking ridiculous how they went on and Tretton his interview was like well if you want someone that can win I'm your man is that not what you said?

32:58Tret? yeah Tretton treated him no we need to get over this we all speak differently don't we it's class that anyway well done dictionary no seriously though what? have you read the dictionary? I think we need to give Crystal Palace their flowers as well 18 unbeaten 18 unbeaten and again they've played Liverpool three times in that period Palace did what Liverpool have been doing to everyone else do you want to know something as well no they didn't FN Cup Community Shield what do you mean Liverpool will be getting last minute winners no but Palace absolutely battered them I know Liverpool have been playing badly and getting last minute winners but they're still scoring last minute winners guess what guess what as well so in 2011 Parish said in an interview Palace could be winning the league in 10 to 15 years you think they're going to win it this season I'm just saying is that what you're trying to say this is the 15th year are you sure he didn't mean the championship but what happens when no no no Premier League but what happens when Gehi goes to Real Madrid next year well he's going to stay with the Premier League he's implying they win it this year how about this if Palace are literally going to win the league do you think he signs a new contract he's like fuck it I'm going to be with the champs I think what he does is wins the league with Palace and goes to Real Madrid yeah I mean that's the best outcome really isn't it most likely outcome as well the most likely outcome is Palace win the league and then he goes to Real Madrid I'd fucking love it if Palace won the league it would be unreal actually yeah I'd like if they came second to Liverpool to Arsenal anyway Palace were fantastic they've got a great set up there fantastic manager great players they've lost their best play and somehow have kicked on from it it's just it's a great time to be a Crystal Palace fan very good time to be a Crystal Palace fan my mate was Stannard was loving life I'm not surprised loving life and just when Keirsa thought he'd what?

34:41save the game for Liverpool. Another late... Eddie dunked on him. He's been doing well this season, but he's always impactful. Yeah. Great impact sub. I'm glad they didn't get away with it, though, this time. Oh, I agree. They can't keep getting away with this. I just... I don't know why they didn't play Salah. Anyway. Speaking of boom, boom, boom, Mateta is in the room. How good would that goal have been as well? Oh, that would have been a feel. Like the first time I saw the box. Yeah, fuck me. We are going to be ranking our current top 10 Premier League strikers. Oh, yes. It'll be interesting to see Lewis's list, actually.

35:18That list is good, I think. I'd be really interested to see Lewis's list. I'm scared if I've forgotten someone. I'll go first if you want. I'd love for you to go first, mate, because obviously, last three years, you've been banging on about how Izak is by far, in a way, the best striker in the league. I wonder if six games has changed that. We could probably pull up 30 tweets of him saying it as well. Good thing we're not making this list in the last few years then, isn't it? Just have a bit, though. Ten. I have got Yikarez why do you keep calling him that Yikarez it's an O it's no I in his name I'm I'm from Portugal bro he's Swedish he's Swedish yeah no but he played in Portugal and that's how he said his name ninth I've got Volta Mardy I put those bottom because we've not seen as much of them but they're both looking well one's looking a bit better than the other but do you think Volta Mardy genuinely looking better than Yikarez yeah I really do I feel like on the ball he looks really calm composed he's just not had I hardly disagree yeah I agree but I don't even want to try and be biased there I just think you have an agenda against Jokeres I don't even if I had a agenda against Jokeres I promise there was so many games I could have put in his link up playing stuff against Forest and obviously leads to the agreement but Jokeres has been better yeah if you're talking about link up play that's what Volmada does best Jokeres yesterday proved that Volmada well I went you don't see that no Jokeres was a lot better yesterday in terms of his link only because the bar was so low Volmada's best one of his best aspects of his game is his link up play and dropping deep.

36:40But Jokic has proved that he's actually not bad at that. I genuinely don't think you've seen Vortimada. I don't think you've seen Vortimada play, genuinely. Have you actually? I have. No, have you watched him older than that game? And like, if you haven't, he hasn't played that much. But like, genuinely, have you seen it? And then Barca as well, you see his little cameo, no? Well, I mean, cameo, but... Well, it led to... It is a link-up play. I think he's been good. I think he's been good. He's been good. It's a link-up play and it led to the goal. Yeah, I think he's a good player He got 6.5 Eighth, I've got Mateta If you want to go rating Eight What?

37:08Eight That's so low By the way, talking about ratings is ridiculous JPM Are we actually taking Okay, the ratings count for something then Because I'll use that later No, no, no I was just using it as a point Don't get so triggered by it Because I'll use that for Isaac Eighth, Mateta That's crazy That's so low He's actually probably one of the best I just I don't know Mateta's class He is unreal I mean, he's going to fall off He's so consistent as well his floor every game is actually just for a team that doesn't dominate the ball either to be such a good outlet all the time and like he occupies like three, four defenders maybe so actually and I regret putting this name ahead of him because I put this name before I watched the highlights no I put this name before I seen the highlights and this guy missed an absolute sitter Chris Wood seventh he's not better than Mateta mate yeah you've got Chris Wood over Mateta I know but like yeah I regret that genuine question alright genuine question to make it more understandable in your mind at the current climate of world football strikers would you take Mateta at Newcastle or Chris Wood at Newcastle?

38:09Mateta. So it's an easy answer isn't it? Yeah I don't know why I've done that. Right. Chris Wood? I agree. Wait you think Chris Wood's better than Volta Marder? Or Yocarez? I only I put those bottom because it's like it'd be hard to argue them but you can see enough in the play to know there's probably going to be a future but there's Woods like I I agree. I would not critic Chris Wood over any of those strikers, but does his amount of goals not stand for something? Yeah, it counts for... You can tell right now Paul Hartley does count for something, but the way you've put Meteta below him is what the argument is.

38:44Yeah, realistically, I feel like Wood should be... But then the argument could be Jock Reyes was the top scorer in Europe last season. Exactly. He won the Gerd Moller Trophy. I know, obviously, you're going to laugh about that, but he literally won the best striker in the world last season. Most goals, not best striker. Lads, I actually agree with you. Most GA. I don't know why he's there but he's there so let's just move on 6th I've got Wisser 5th João Pedro 4th Watkins I know he's having a slow start he's injured isn't he oh Wisser yeah I didn't do injuries but he's injured I forgot about him I've got Visser in mine but he's not that high 4th Watkins slow start of the season but the whole team is out of the start yeah yeah yeah true 3rd Ekotike 2nd Isaac 1st Haaland you're a fraud mate João Pedro no no no I understand like the joke but like if Isaac hit He hasn't played So it's And Harlan Harlan started Unbelievable form So I'll tell you What I'm supposed to do Did you just Strand Larson Yeah I forgot about him That's my vibe This show He's a fucking disgrace I forgot about that There's a point They're doing lists I forgot about that Lewis It's hard He's disagreed With half of his list And then he's forgot players I can't lie I forgot him Yeah it's hard sometimes There's a lot of players He's been injured And I forgot about him To be fair Luke What have you What have you seen The last like I've seen Isak's drop fucking two stinkers.

39:59So two games after two and a half years or two years of you banging on that Isaac's better than Harlan. Going to win the Ballon d 'Or before him. All this. So two years he's completely wiped out by two games. It's not completely wiped out. Yeah, of course it is. No, not completely wiped out. It's a very close conversation but one striker is on the green. You never once said it. How many goals does Harlan score this season? I don't know. I think. I don't know. Like a certain point. No, no, no. We're not arguing Harlan. Oh my God. This is like I feel like I'm going mad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Izek under Eketike?

40:30No, I haven't. No, you didn't. Did you not? No, I haven't. Do you not agree by the logic you're trying to prove here right now? Eketike should be higher than Izek in your opinion. In that case, it would be. But the thing is, this season does have to play for something. He was playing in a completely different team in Newcastle where the whole player went around him. So far, all we've seen of him in Liverpool was, admittedly, he's not fit. He's not fit. Yeah, he's not much fit. Like, shit performances as well Like, he will get better And this list If he comes on And starts banging loads of goals Later on I'll change it back But one striker scored Eight goals Right, so you just base it On like the last six games And everything then Your whole argument Has been for the last two years If you actually watch them Even though Harland scores more goals And he's more output Isaac does this And he does more And he drops in And he beats players And he dribbles And he links up players better So he's the better player He's the better striker For two years you've said this Like, unquestionably He's the better striker and you all laughed at me.

41:27You all laughed at me when I said he was better. Oh, who scored more goals this season? Haaland's better. Just because he's left your club. Also, sounds about right. Sounds about right. Also, to double down on that, that logic still applied last year. Haaland was heading goals at Izak every single point of the year. Izak's not been playing football this year and the football I have seen from him has been really bad in a new team. In the Newcastle team, yeah, he filled the role really well but also the team all operated around specifically him. So far, we've seen him in this Liverpool team and he was he dropped a stinker he played the whole game so that that negates any football ability otherwise I'm always going to have the same list every time we do this if I like I have to take it to account no no no but you can have a belief that you continue with the belief but like I can't after that two years of concrete evidence no but you argued it so so strongly that he was better than Haaland and then just because he's had a few bad games this season now it's flipped for something that you were so strung on yeah but if Iza came in and was scoring goals it's irrelevant I'm saying it is relevant it's not Otherwise we'd never do this list ever again.

42:28No, it's not. Two games isn't enough, in my opinion, to flip the things you've been saying for two years. Yeah, it's not just two games. Harlan's played every game and he scored eight goals. But what about... So what am I supposed to do? He's not listening to what I'm saying. You're not listening to what I'm saying. I am. I'm saying a couple of games should be completely irrelevant to the strength of argument you've made over two years. And I'm saying it's not just his couple of games, it's also the games Harlan's played this season. Okay, so six games. Six games shouldn't affect... but we're making this list now.

42:57Can I ask what's dramatically improved in Haaland's game in the last six games to make you think that he's now better than Izac? Because obviously like you did it on total football ability. Lou, I think also the main argument they're making is that it's not necessarily you picking Haaland over Izac now. It's the fact that the last two, three years where I think it's been quite clear that Haaland is the better striker. And it's not denying that Izac hasn't been fantastic, which he has, is that you have felt so strongly that Isaac is the better striker than Haaland the entire time. You've now just, because he signed for a new club.

43:31Haaland's been looking different this season. There's no dramatic improvement in Haaland's game. What we're saying, they're actually arguing, not now, they're arguing with you from the last three years and saying, admit that you were biased as fuck. By the way, is this to go without saying? I am biased and I hate him. Like, is this not like, why do we pretend? Is that the reason he's second now? Oh, it's a definite contributing factor to him falling down the list. Is it the only factor? And Lewis, is that the reason? He's also had a stinker. Is it the only factor? Harlan's had bad games this season as well.

43:58He hasn't played great in every game. I said he had his worst start to the Premier League season. Yeah, so Harlan before the weekend had his worst start to the Premier League season. No, you asked me how much of a factor. It was about 80 % of the factor. He's got seven injuries. But suddenly he's now like... But also, Lewis, so in the last three years, admit that you were biased and wrong about your Isaac Harlan. They want to hear it, mate. They want to hear it. Yeah, come on. Just be honest with me. Be honest. We have an open relationship with the viewers, man. Admit it that you didn't believe What you were saying I believed every word I was saying Whilst I knew No you don't You're a liar You're a liar Because now you've completely flip-flopped Yeah you wouldn't You turned that quickly mate If you did You fucking snaked us for Liverpool He can fuck off He's not going first Flip-flopped about Arteta Don't let me forget I haven't flip-flopped about Arteta at all You did go from sacking him To he's going to win the league Don't deflect I didn't say he's going to win the league He could win the league I think there's a slight chance he may I don't think he will Okay Anyways Lewis well done on your list mate Thank you That was fucking horrendous Who's next?

44:52It wasn't that bad Go on Revo Yeah sure Tenth I've got Evan Nilsson Yeah good shout Ninth Chris Wood Just on history Alone I think I haven't included injured players So like no Solanke, Visser Oh you're going to be missing a few So you've got Evan Nilsson And Chris Wood Yeah I wonder who you've missed On mine Eighth I've got the Pigeon Richarlison's not better Than Chris Wood I think he is Why are you not Richarlison's in your top ten Yeah that's not an average shout Why are you not including Injured players as well Well because it's current Isn't it Like they're not Oh I hate that I know but like Richarlison's out for three weeks of an entire season.

45:23Four weeks. At the moment, yeah. That's not better than Chris Wood. Everyone's better than Chris Wood. Richarlison is better than Chris Wood, otherwise Chris Wood would be at Spurs. So you ain't got Sean Larson. That's not how it works. No, I said I forgot. That's just not how it works. That's not how it works. You can't just say Richarlison's better than Chris Wood because otherwise Chris Wood would be at Spurs. That's not how it works in football. No, I know that. Yeah, but it's a point I'm trying to make. Considering Forrest were better than Spurs last season. That's true. Retract that point.

45:49Why? Because he's not a very good one. Richarlison's better than Chris Wood He's come over to this side Yeah obviously Obviously he's better than Chris Wood Everyone's better than Chris Wood It's that seat It's the seat It's the brain Brain cellless seat Wait you disagree that Chris Wood should be higher than Richarlison I think Chris Wood's better than Richarlison yeah I either know I think that Really? Well you Oh fucking hell No I'm not surprised Richarlison would never score 20 goals In the Premier League Even if he played for Brazil In the Premier League Like 0-2 0-2 prime Brazil Has he ever had a full run in a season At number 9?

46:20Oh that's so I don't think he has. Everton he did but also not only that if he can't ever get a full run of games surely that says a lot. Yeah. But that's he's now getting a full run at Spurs and what has he scored? One, two? He's not even injured he's getting benched again. Solanke's not even playing he's getting benched. He had a good start first couple of games. Solanke's injured. That's what I'm saying. The child hasn't started every game for Spurs. Did he start yesterday? Yeah. Oh fucking hell. Has he started every game? They have no other striker. Colm Warnie and Solanke are out. I'll take it back to score three in the Premier League.

46:51Yeah. But still. All right. He's not bad at Chris Wood. I think he is. I forgot about one. Seventh, I've got Gio Pedro, just because he's a bit of a 9.5. Jesus. He's not outrageous, is he not? Wow! Sixth, Jokeres. Wow! Fifth, JPM. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Fourth, actually, we have the same top four, Lou. Fourth, Watkins. Third, Ekotike. Second, Ezek and then first, Haaland. No Visser. I said no injured players. No Visser, nor Voltemade. No Voltemade. JP over Jokeres. That's crazy. I don't actually think you've seen him play to not even put him on the list. But like, for you to think Jokras is sick that Volta Madder's not even in the top 10 is mental to me.

47:27I've been more impressed by what Jokras has done this season than Volta Madder. I completely disagree. See, the thing is, I'm biased, you're biased. Tom's the unbiased one. If anything, he likes to wind me up over Newcastle and even he thinks I've got the most unbiased list and that's saying something. Well, I am the only unbiased one. Even Jokras, you still have a four-person difference. Like, you can think Jokras is better, but have a four-person difference between them. Yeah, I mean, it's... Horrendous slight stinker, go on. I will say... I put him sick. That isn't buying. Do you know what?

47:53I've got confidence in you, yeah. I actually did forget Visser. So I've got an injured strike, I just forgot Visser. I don't think it's crazy to leave Visser at the top 10. No, I 100 % would have put him in, but I was like, well, if I leave that injured place, then that's across the board. No, but I don't think even if he... I don't think it's crazy not to put him in. He would be like that 8-12 sort of position. Yeah, I agree. Like Igor Thiago. There's a few of these that are difficult because it's like it's alright doing it for Brentford you don't know we haven't seen him at Newcastle yet I don't know 10 I got Chris Wood come on Chris Wood you're my mighty Wood why'd I say that what the fuck the hell did you just say brother 9 I got Volta Marder 8 I got Jokarez same reason respect you haven't like you haven't like seen enough of them I'm glad you didn't put him too high well done 7 I got Strand Larson 6 I got Eketike I don't like that Stinker alert Stinker alert Because I know we have But then He's been so good I know he's been good But it's still early doors And I think Looking at historically In the Premier League You have to see who are proven In the Premier League You have to see who are proven Amir Zaki had a purple back And also He is young And you saw him get the red card That's just fucking silly Like that's just That's naive I see your logic I think just with Eketike, you can see the Valdez should start.

49:16No, I fully agree. And I think if he continues the way he's playing. Yeah, but he is right. He's only six games. If he continues the way he's playing, 100%, he could be the, he could genuinely keep Izac out of the team. I hope he does. Trust me. Five, I got Watkins. Four, I got Jao Pedro. Third, I got Mateta. Two, I got Izac. And one, I got Haaland. You know what, Theo? I was right. Would you actually take, like, Jao Pedro over Eketike, though? Arsenal, sort of. No. You know what I mean? I would gamble more on Eketike. you think Geketika will eventually retire. I think the way Gio Pedro has gone into Chelsea and just like they've had so many strike issues in the past and even if you're proven in the Prem going to Chelsea's number nine look at Torres you're not guaranteed to fucking do it.

49:56Gio Pedro's just come in and nailed that position and it's his. Like think how often it does help that everyone else is injured though. No but he's always going to start number nine. He's always going to start. Yeah yeah yeah. We have a bigger with Chelsea what's the word I'm looking for? Pool of players. No, bigger evidence of him. What's that? Historic history. No, a bigger... Sample size. Sample size. Bigger sample size. If I look at the Chelsea line-up, if I look at their front five that say, you know that João Pedro is the first name on the team sheet up front in their attacking output. You think, is Neto going to start?

50:31Even Palmer, will he start with the injuries and whatnot? João Pedro is always going to start. And he gets goals. If Palmer's fit, he starts. Well, yeah, but... That was a crazy one. He's done fit. You know what? No, you had a good list. I believed in you beforehand and you delivered. Well done. That was very unbiased and fair. And here, boys, we have the correct answer. No, no, mine's... I think a lot of these are interchangeable, genuinely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think even Nilsson was quite... I think he should be considered. Yeah, he's been good for them. There's not as many good strikers. He's got records not amazing, though.

50:57No, but he's good, though, isn't he? He's good, yeah. There's not as many good strikers in the Prem now. It's a much closer list outside the top three, I think. I don't think there's as many great strikers. The top six, I think, are probably nailed. I feel like 7 to 10 is just a little bit interchangeable isn't it okay in 10th Jokeres oh man 9th I've got Visser 8th Strand Larson we forgot about him don't worry about him 7th I've got Voltemada 7th interested I really like him I think so I don't know about that I think there's a reason Newcastle didn't pay the money for Strand Larson and went and got him yeah they were both the same price but was it not I thought he was between him and Witt.

51:39Stan Larson's had a good season in a struggling team where he's done well. He's been asked to come and be the number nine for a massive club and he's coming straight away unfit and delivered. I like everything about him. I think he's got a bit of everything. I think he can link up. He's obviously got the physical size but he uses it like the goal yesterday and the goal he scored against. Who was his first goal against? Wolves. Wolves. When he come on against Barcelona. His link up play is brilliant. He's so neat with the ball. I really like him. How many non-penalty goals did Vista get last year?

52:1018? 19. 19, yeah. But Chris Wood got 20 goals. He's not on my list. I think it's one of those where it's like you're banking on him to go on to do well. Something like you can see the ingredients. Oh, yeah. I've got a tiny sample size, but I can only go on what my eyes tell me. It was a gamble as well. I think he's slightly better than Stran Larsson. That's why he's one above him. Six, I've got Watkins. Fifth, Mateta. Fifth. Fourth, Jao Pedro. Fifth. Third, Ekotique. Second, Isaac. First, Haaland. Not Chris Wood. It's not crazy. Mateta fifth. That's right, I got him. No one's taking Mateta over.

52:45João Pedro, Ekotique, Isaac or Haaland. Obviously, it's very early doors, but do you think Mateta's better than Ekotique? I think you've got a bigger sample size of him. No, I know that. No, that's what you just said. We haven't seen loads of him. Who do you think's better? Ekotique. Just be honest. When you watch him play football, but he's he is the real deal you know it's an interesting one if you're a team in the Premier League who needs a number nine say they're both available say they're both available right now I bet you there'll be a lot of clubs and they see Mateta's proven alright I'm going to do the thing that I did with Lewis at Arsenal would you soon sign Ekotiki or Mateta at Arsenal?

53:27yeah maybe Mateta oh sure it's not mate but Ekotiki in a season and a half's time, he's going to be like... He's cemented himself as one of the best players in the league. He's the real deal. Yeah, he's a bowler. He needs to fucking... Well, there we go. Let us know in the comments what you think and who your top 10 would be. Have we missed anyone out? Have we missed anyone? Any notable admissions? Danny Welbeck? Yeah. Sesco was on the prep, wasn't he? Galapagos? No, I know. I'm saying like the fact that no one's even... Sesco. He had three goals at it, didn't he? Yeah. Isidor. he's done well this season he's injured Beto Calvert-Lewin Callum Wilson obviously Callum Wilson Full Krug fuck me yeah I didn't I know he's played obviously we're not putting Bowen as a striker no and Bema's a hard one he's not a striker yeah obviously Cesco's not getting in because he fucking stinks yeah he fucking reeks of shit took him three chances to score that goal the other day fucking hell right something we haven't done for three years and actually Tom you and I are the only ones who have done this before on this table.

54:33Really? When we did this three years ago, it was Tom, me, Mitch, and Ben Black. Anyways, we're going to do our North versus South 11. And the reason we are divided up on this table like this, I actually prefer this, by the way. I feel like you're giving it large more. Normally, you just sit and cower in the presence of Tom.

54:51Now you've got a bit more bored about it. Yeah, guys, the aura from Tom on this side of the table is crazy. So we've got the two Southerners against the two Northerners. So Reeve and I are the Southerner. is going to be doing... Yeah, but come on, mate. I had to pick a side at... Leicester is a nibble. That was a nibble. No, I'm just saying I had to pick a side at university back in the day and I'll pick north because they make you choose in the Midlands. Okay, we didn't ask. We are going to be doing south 11 versus north 11 and then I think we're going to try and combine the teams, aren't we?

55:18Yes. Do you want to do your north sides? Yeah. Burnley. Everton. Leeds United. Liverpool. Manchester City. Manchester United. Two, two. Newcastle. Forest. Sunderland Man. Oh! The Wolves. He's saying the predictions show. Okay, South Clubs are the Mighty Arse Man. Aston Villa. AFC Bournemouth. Brentford. Brighton have Albion. Chelsea. Crystal Palace. Fulham.

55:49You've got to say the thing. They might not know. And then West Ham of course. We are going to go first to the North and what we're going to do, we're both going to read out our individual teams and then we're going to come to a combined team, lock it in and then move over to the south. Hey, put your team away. I'm trying to be Southen. Southen. You don't have to fake it. Southen. Okay. So we only have two players per team. Please bear that in mind. We're on a team now. Just stop. Okay. So my team is Jordan Pickford in goal. Hey. I've gone with Livermento at right back. Oh, that's so sad though.

56:25What happened? With Virgil van Dijk, Yoro, and Nico Williams. That makes me feel sick. Why? Nothing. Yara's good, man. Would you not agree with that? Do you not think Yara's a good defender? You've probably got better options. Go on, then name one. Who? I don't know yours. Then in midfield, I've gone with Tonali. My midfield, I don't know who to go for here. I've got three options. Who shall I go with? Who shall I go with? Who shall I go with? I'll go with... You're combining it anyway, so just... Well, my three options are either Jao Gomez Because I did that as well Dewsbury Hall Or Longstaff I know you'll like that With Bruno Fernandes I'll go with That team's well shit How's this happened?

57:06What the fuck? I'll go with Is he making a I'll go with Dewsbury Hall I'll go with Dewsbury Hall Tonali Dewsbury Hall Bruno Fernandes And then up front Salah Harland Doku Are you Are you perfectly trying to make the world's shittest north team? What's going on here? We only have two players per team You have to make a balanced team We only have two players per team Are you not aware of that? He needs to choose two United players The problem is We have a lot of strength in midfield I feel like on it, yeah Wait, Sam So it's like you miss out A lot of good players Before he goes What are the teams How many teams do you use there?

57:39Do you know how many There's not many good left backs In this list You can have a chance To critique it Once we have our full team Lou, we're going to need A good side from you here To save that pile of shit I was just quite similar Especially defensively So I've got Pickford and Goal From Everton Livermanto, Van Dijk I went with DeLitt instead and then Mikkelenko. Yeah, I like the dilute poo. I feel it's a little bit better than your own. I've gone Longstaff. I do. I feel like I've stunk it in midfield a bit, but I'm going to, we'll change it to yours because I haven't got Tonali in, but he's literally unbelievable.

58:11But I've got Longstaff, Bruno Fernandes and Gibbs White and then Salah, Harlan, Gordon. But I think what we do is... So you went Gordon as your new carster player? Yeah, that was City. I forgot Doku. But then if we have Doku on the left, we can have Tonali in the middle. So are you agreeing now before we do ours are we saying ours we now lock our so in goal we're in goal Pickford we agree Pickford we agree Livermento and Van Dijk so Livermento and Van Dijk yeah how hard are you on Joro I really like Deleit I think you like Deleit and Van Dijk together is fucking hard but you can have a left back then I'm happy with that Nico Williams yeah Nico Williams you'd say who else should we have then go on then let me see the teams let me see the teams scroll up a bit You know the North team No, let's do the North team We'll come back to that Because I guarantee you won't have one You'll see Goodbye the old How many City players you got?

59:01Two Docku is one of them Yeah, Docku and Haaland Probably the best left wing In the league this season Yeah, got a point actually There aren't I'm sorry, we're waiting We're waiting, genius Mikkelenko What about In midfield then I mean Do we go Dorga and like Murillo Oh yeah Murillo would have been That's a great shout Dorga and Murillo is a better combo Than DeLitt and Williams I think No, he's not. You actually debated that in a second in your head. He's sure at left back. If he hasn't played left back once this season, good shout. We've already got two Man United players. So are we going Bruno Fernandes, Longstaff and Tonali?

59:38Is that... I'd probably go KDH over Longstaff. Yeah, I'm not angry at that. Or even Thiago Gomez. I'm happy with any of those. So we go Tonali, Tonali, Dewsbury Hall and Bruno Fernandes. I will. Tonali's definitely leaving us. and then we finish on Salah Harland and Doku that is a good do you play Bruno Fernandes like holding mid no he's not 10 Dewsbury Hall's playing second mid because he can play he's an 8 isn't he really that is a fucking filthy two that's good man that's a great both agreed on Salah crazy boy we could have gone with Grealish left winger as well yeah I did think I fancy Doku although actually we can't because we've got Dewsbury Hall and Pickford true I feel like that's a very well balanced team we could have easily went and tried to be a bit silly but you've got better attackers to choose from for sure I think I can't stop sneezing just alert it's how shit that was we've got the Rolls Royce in midfield as well the Italian maestro he's going to leave us here we go then this will be funny well well well ladies and gentlemen we're from the south go on through you first no darling you go first in goal I have Emmy Martinez

1:00:47alright that's embarrassing it's in the Midlands club as well You've got left back from Nottingham. I don't know where anywhere it is. Have you not heard him talk? Yeah, quite close to where I'm from. That's not how they sound. Back four is Munoz, Romero, Gabriel. Romero, who's he playing for? Raggy? Carry on. I'm just getting bullied this episode. What the fuck is going on, mate? Can I sit back there? And then Robinson at left back. Obviously, he's been out injured for a bit, but he's still a quality left back. And then midfield three of Caicedo, Adam Wharton and Cole Palmer oh nice and then a front three of Saka Watkins and Semenya I think we win don't know about that right what have you got darling oh spiffing in goal got Leno I don't mind that actually I can scrap my next thing right back Timber ooh centre halves of Gay He and Gabriel with DJ Ed Spence you've used your two Arsenal players on Gabriel and Timber best defence in the league Jesus fair enough there's a fair amount have attacking players to choose from, to be fair.

1:01:49Fair enough. Timber best right back in the league. Gabriel best centre-half in the league. The left side is centre-half in the league. Oh, no, he's not. He's still not. He's still Van Dyke, isn't he? That is Gabriel better. Midfield three of Casado, Warton and Palmer. That's an easy suggestion. The guys are very good midfield. And then a front three of Bowen, Watkins and Semenyo. Okay, so Watkins and Semenyo locked in. I'm happy to sacrifice Martinez for Leno. Leno's a good shout. I want to put Romero in ahead of Gehi, though, which means Munoz is a better right back and we have Saka. Basically, I'd just go with my team.

1:02:21I don't agree with that. It's weird that you've not put Mateta in considering you had him third in the striker list. Because I've got two Palace players. Who? Gahey and Wharton. But you would not, you'd rather not have the third best striker in the league? I think Wharton's that good in terms of players to choose from, yeah. Fair enough. I think you'd sacrifice Munoz for Timber. No, I'm not taking Saka out of this team. He's the best right winger behind Salah. Timber's the best right back Yeah but it's not That much of a drop To Bowen Is it really Bowen's a good pick He's very good I think Munoz and Saka Is I'd prefer over Timber Romero stinks of shit No he doesn't actually That's a He's got good aftershave Alright I can't believe you put Tottenham player in As an Arsenal fan That's cringe DJ DJ Ed Spence DJ Friend of the Show That's fucking cringe DJ Ed Spence Come on then Let's agree You've got to have Timber mate He's the best right back In the league But then that means You can't have Saka And I don't want to do that Yeah, but I'm okay with Bowen.

1:03:17I'm not. The two players from Arsenal should be... What's the biggest drop-off? Timber to Munoz or Saka to Bowen? Saka to Bowen. Really? Yeah. Just stop trying to influence our team, man. We're trying to build a squad here. Mate, when we're debating... Is Saka top three right-ringers in the world? Right-ringers? Right-ringers? No. Is Timber top three right-backs in the world? Possibly, yeah. Yes. So I don't understand the logic here. We're trying to build the best Premier League 11. Is Bowen top three right wingers in the Prem? What the fuck's up? Potentially. Oh, good question. Yeah, possibly.

1:03:58Is Mignol's top three right backs in the Prem? Yeah. Oh, is he? Yeah. Really? Wait. Yeah. So you have Livermanto. Livermanto. Timber. Timber. Yeah. Ben White. Just kidding. Come on, man. We've got to agree. They agreed quite quickly. Yeah. Rhys James. Do you know what? We were willing to compromise so nicely. Yeah, I know. There's zero compromise. You've compromised with him. I've given him Lennon. No, he's not compromised. He's like, get me Lennon. Go with his team. That's not compromising. That's not compromising. That's not compromising at all. It's not really. You're one player out of the 11.

1:04:38I think my defence is considerably better than yours. Tim Bagehi, Gabriel, DJ Ed Spence, Munoz Romero, Gabriel Robinson. Yes. Yeah. Your attack, though, feels like a boiled egg, though. Literally one player different to his. I think Saka should be in the team. I'm not willing to stand down on that, so we have to change elsewhere. Oh, they're turning on each other. He's dug his heels in? Yeah. What's going to happen now? This is a new Reeve, I mean. He's in animal over there. This is out of your aura. I'm not having Robinson in over DJ Ed Spence. We can have Ed Spence in, because I've got a second Spurs slot for you.

1:05:13You used up two Spurs slots. No, I didn't. I've used one for Romero, but if you want to put Ed Spence in... Whoa. What are you doing here? We're on the same fucking... We're trying to agree 11. The Salah are on the same side as we were talking to. Yes, because you're not agreeing with me. You are not punching an asshole. He's giving you two minutes. Good negotiation. Yeah. We're having Saka in this team. You can choose any other players that you want. Saka's going in the... Okay, fine. We have Saka. By the way, the cheek of them to say we have the better selection. We really don't. Okay, so...

1:05:42Matt's doing it. You have a better team. If we have Saka and Gabriel, that's our two Arsenal plays. Yeah, I agree. That's what they should be. Other than City and Liverpool, our teams are pretty stinky. So we can't have Gehi. They've got Arsenal, Villa, Bournemouth, Chelsea, Brighton, Palace, Spurs. Why is the team still bad then? We can't have Gehi if you're getting rid of, if you're having them yours. Yeah. You haven't used any Brighton players now? Maturna just didn't make it. Semenya, Saka, Watkins kind of just... I don't know how that goes down. no Belieber no Belieber you're not a Belieber no I'm not a Belieber I'm an Eagle I said a Wharton Palmer like well I've given you Ed Spence over Robinson so you can have that Ed Spence over Robinson is not a gimme is it's like common sense he's been injured and he was like the second best left back last year DJ Ed Spence good oh fuck so if we have Manuel's over Timber then we have to you're doing that and just discounting Saka Saka's like Yeah, but then we have to have Romero.

1:06:46Do we have to pick the players from the players that we've suggested? Not really, I don't think. We could go elsewhere. Romero. Romero's genuinely actually class though. Van Der Ven's better. No, he's not. Romero is cringe, isn't it? No, Romero's better than Van Der Ven. Oh, Romero. He's top five centre-backs in the league. Don't agree with that. We don't have to. Who could we have then? We could have Lewis Dunk. Right. Well, let's just... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put Duncan. Yeah, do it. Yeah, do it. Front three is Saka Watkins. We could have done that. So we've gone with that. You can change Munoz to someone else.

1:07:26Do you want like Porro? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. You can go Porro and Gehi. Porro and Gehi. I quite like Porro and Gehi. We could do that unless Munoz and Romero, but I think Munoz and Romero is probably better than Porro and Gehi. But I think Munoz to Porro, I think Gehi's just better. I think Munoz and Romero is better than Porro and Gehi, but that's a combination that you can have I've given you two players you barely gave me Saka I've given you the midfield we have the same just pick up that back fine Mignolso and Romero it is and then you want DJ Ed Spence do you? I think you have to have DJ Ed Spence there you go that's our team then right how have you managed to have a worse team than us?

1:08:03shall we read out each team then for the listeners starting off at the north we have Pickford we should have just gone with my entire team I was waiting for you to say the next name oh Livermento at right back Van Dijk De Ligt next to him Williams Then we've got Tonali Jusby Hall Jusby Bruno Fernandes Salah Haaland Baku Yeah, that's a strong front three to be fair Yeah, our team's class Ours is just Ours is so unbelievably better Your left side defence is a bit weaker than ours True But other than that, we beat you everywhere Other than possibly midfield Yeah, midfield We've got the Italian maestro We've cooked you in midfield We haven't cooked us in midfield Caicedo, Warton, Palmer versus Tonali, Dewsbury Hall, Bruno Fernandes.

1:08:44Warton out does Dewsbury Hall. The rest are close. In goal, we have Leno. A back four of Munoz, Romero, Gabriel and DJ Ed. Spread the show. Midfield three of Caicedo, Warton and Palmer. And then a front three of Saka, Watkins, Semenya. Ooh. Clocking out. And let's get them combined. So in goal, we obviously win. Yeah, we get Pickford. Thank you very much. We'll take that. We'll probably take Livermantle as well. Yeah, we'll have the right back too. We'll take Van Dijk. Wait, should we get typing it in? Yeah. let him do it first. Right, so we've got combined. How long is Livermento out for, by the way?

1:09:16It's a nine at the moment. Four years. He's going to prison. Really, Horb, he's okay. Because think about it, mate. You can't change. Salah's getting taken over Bowling. Livermento? Livermento, and then Van Dyke will tear. We don't really have anyone from the front three other than Tomenio. If we went with the other team, we would have got more players than the combined. We wouldn't. And Dyke would. We wouldn't. We would. And then we've got scroll up, scroll up, scroll up. Gabriel just a quick question why is Livermento like just he's just better I don't he has been outstanding this year so he went for Timber what do you think he's better I think Livermento is better than Munoz but I also think Timber is better than both of them yeah obviously obviously okay then you get you get Gabriel and Spence I think DJ Ed come on you know his name there's no way we can leave this without Tonali we have the entire midfield.

1:10:05No, no, no. We can put Tonali in there. It doesn't have to be extreme midfielders. Yeah. We're getting one midfielder in there. I think you'd go Caicedo, Tonali, Palmer. Yes, I agree. You're getting Tonali in there. Yeah. You didn't even pick him. Huh? No, we did. No, you didn't. Caicedo, Tonali, Palmer and then I think we've got the front three. Yeah, the front three is just locked in. Maybe Semenyo. It's fucking Doku over Semenyo. What planet are we on? What timeline are we in where Doku's better than Semenyo? Semenyo's better. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck have you just typed in?

1:10:36Oh, sorry. Let's go down. Oh, Jesus. We have the three, man. And then Salah, Haaland. You know what? Actually, Saka's better than Saka. No, he's not. As a footballer, he is. It's not Saka. Is Saka even in your team? Yeah. Oh, you did? Are you forced him in? Saka's in the team, mate. Where's your agenda gone? I hate watching Saka play, but he's better than Saka. Even if we give them left winger, we win 6-5. Is he technically better than Saka? Like, technically. Yeah, we'll... Sorry, say that again. I think Saka's technically better than Salah. So? There's more to football than just being technically good.

1:11:12No, no, goals and all that is very important. You think Saka's better than Salah? Is that what you're saying? This season he is. And he's been injured. Don't do that. Okay, so we'll give you some Eno and we win 6-5. Stinker from you lot. The North! The North! The North is... We're not playing to win. we're playing to build the best 11 from our area. We're playing to win. No, you can't, classic Arsenal. Yeah. We're playing to draw. No, no, no. Hooray! But you're saying that we should have sacrificed a better right wing spot just to get right back in there against it. We're going to lose that place anyway.

1:11:45Yeah, exactly. That's why we should have gone timber. Yeah. Probably should have. Yeah, but that's not the way we're playing. You've been out-tacted. He was on a different wave length. I actually gave him more players from our 11 than he gave me. Yeah, because I had a better team. You didn't, though.

1:12:03I mean you probably could have Could have gone with my entire team Declan Rice maybe Could have got another one there But stinker That's tight though Really silly You were never going to win Right wing or striker So you should have sacrificed those Shouldn't you He's got to sacrifice himself That's not how it works You have to You put out your best 11 You can't draw in an 11 tip If you're playing for the draw You can't actually draw You're playing for the loss. No, I was playing to put out the best Southern XI. Anyway, let us know in the comments what your team would be. And don't forget, it's two players per team before you go, why didn't you just put four City players in, you fucking idiots?

1:12:41Sorry. British show out on Friday. I believe, Lewis, you're winning at the moment, aren't you? It will be overall be tied to the end now. Because I gave him the golden result, you jammy bastard. Make sure you tune in on that on Friday. Make sure you rate us 5 stars on our podcast and Spotify and drop a like. Big tings are coming. And obviously don't forget that the Stag Do video is out right now on Backside, the YouTube channel. So make sure you go check that out. It's a good laugh. And we've got dates coming in for the next one, haven't we? Yeah, they're already in. Yep. See you later. It's all right, mate.

1:13:11Are you so sad? I'm not. We're ending the show. There's a turndown. So you're happy to be ending the show? Good shout, Adam. It's okay, mate. Anyways, ciao. You made it to the end. Well done, you. And if you haven't already hit the follow button, why not tap it right now for new episodes every week? And if you want to see more Pitchside, you can catch us on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram by typing in Pitchside.