Act Outs

7:28Kate:That. Well, yeah, I think. Maybe not for me. There was one day I overdosed on matcha. I went to two different places for matcha. I've talked about this on the pod, I think. and my lip was like seizing, like the muscle was spontaneous. And I looked it up and it was like caffeine overdose or whatever. And I was like, yeah, that's absolutely what it is. But now the Bambino continues to serve, but macho, we can try. We can try to get you in. But two things, rapid fire, just the barista still so cruel and then avoiding the coffee shop. Oh yeah, I'm dying to hear about this. And I had a friend with me this time.

7:58Kate:I just want to say I had a friend with me and I didn't even tell him going into it. We go in, she's there and I'm like, do me a favor. No, no, no, I didn't even say anything. we go up in order and afterwards i go didn't you find her and he was like she was like he was like yeah that was weird and i go yeah she fucking hates my ass i'm now convinced she thinks i'm someone i'm not it was so and then i went back because i was going to get something to go did you ask your name for the order no no no no so she i mean because that would be an opportunity to she doesn't speak to me she looks at me like yeah what the fuck do you want bitch she always does that to me she doesn't even say like hi or like what can i get you it's just like yeah without

8:33Jacqueline:non-verbal and you watch her to other people obviously be friendly she is fucking yucking it

8:38Kate:up laughing being so friendly i walk up face fucking falls to the floor it really is hard and then i even said when i go back i go me again i was like i can't stay away trying to make nothing just dead stare i order and you still have not you've never there was even a moment this is

8:56Jacqueline:actually funny right i mean no no i don't of course not no no no no i'm not saying did you what did you do to make her dislike you? I'm saying you haven't yet done anything to like, I don't even know what broach anything. Yeah.

9:08Kate:No, nothing, nothing. Cause I don't know what to do. Your favorite customer. I know. I'm that's actually good. Maybe I'll do that. Maybe I'll do that. That's a good, I'm going to do that. And this moment even happened. I went to tip, right. And I hit two and then I go, she flips back the iPad.

9:24Jacqueline:Have you been wildly over tipping? No, no.

9:26Kate:And I go, Oh my God. I was like, I just want to make sure. Cause I accidentally, it said two cents instead of two dollars and i was like oh i just want to make sure i was like imagine i tip two cents stone face fucking nothing it's like it's hell and by the way it really ruins my fucking day like i'm too sensitive i'm thinking about this like all hours i'm thinking about it in the night what is my problem what is going on and so i yeah maybe i'll go your favorite customer and then it happened the next day i go i'm not going there because she could be there and i i don't want it it's too much i didn't do anything to you bitch what is the problem i really think she thinks I'm someone that I'm not.

9:58Kate:I swear to God. I almost want to go, do you think, I almost want to be like, hi, this is so weird. There's nothing I can do. I can't confront her.

10:07Jacqueline:I think I might have suggested this once before, but have you tried like, have we met somewhere other than this coffee shop? Oh. Right? No. Wait, what's scary about that? Because that is just like a legitimate question.

10:19Kate:And then she'll go, I don't know. And I go, okay, because it seems like you fucking hate me. You think she'd say I don't know? I think she'd probably go, So, yeah, I mean, because what else would she say? Maybe she'll go, yeah, we've met. And I'd go, no, we haven't. We think I'm someone else.

10:33Jacqueline:She'd say, I don't think so.

10:34Kate:Yeah, where? And then she'll go, Carla's house. And I go, see, I'm not her. She's going to say something. She's going to, like, that would be amazing as if she said something like that. And I go, it's not me.

10:46Jacqueline:I can't believe now. I know it's, I'm intrigued because I'm surprised that, you know, on a particularly frustrated day or whatever day, right? You, right?

11:00Kate:I haven't lashed out. Something hasn't broken through. No, once, well, Jacqueline, Jacqueline, once she was so mean. It's hard. Once she was so, and I go, fine, I'll match her. So, cause I'm always going like, again, not, but just like I'm friendly or whatever. You smile. You say, thank you. You say, have a good one. All this shit. So one day I couldn't take it anymore. So I just, I just mirrored her. Okay. She's like, I flip it back. Yeah. I just like gave her what she gave me. Scientology style. Matched her.

11:30Jacqueline:Is that Scientology? Is that a therapeutic technique or something they suggest to do out in the world?

11:35Kate:Early Scientology, I think was like communicate. It's just like meet people, like matching people, mirroring them to communicate with them. You need to like come. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You ever try that shit on me? It's like acting class or something. no but anyway that's all to say that it continues to haunt me and i don't know what to do but and i don't think i'm good my heart is pounding when i go up to the cashier and she's there it's like my heart is pounding it's like i can't my nervous system can't take it i'm too sensitive what about no of course and um it's i mean talk about i think one day i might start crying absolutely i'm surprised you haven't go like i'm sorry like what do i say like there's but jacqueline there's nothing i can say there's a line of people behind me it's not a big car i go

12:13Jacqueline:Of course, this is where we fundamentally like, right. My belief, right. Is like, there's always words. We just haven't found them yet. Like, like language infinitely malleable, right. There's a thousand things you can say. So what can I say?

12:26Kate:Hi. This is so strange, but I just want to make sure there's nothing you can say. Cause also it sounds like competitive. Like, what am I going to do? Like, like we good. You know what I mean? Like, what am I going to say? Hey.

12:43Jacqueline:I'm trying to think about similar situations. It's just wild.

12:49Kate:Me going, hi, it's your favorite customer, that's almost going to make her hate me overdrive, right? Because she already hates me. But maybe that is the way you acknowledge it. Well, I mean, sort of calling it out a little bit. No, you know what makes you want to do? Get up there and faint. Pretend to faint. To see, like, it's almost like I need to go hard. Yeah, or like I need to go, can I have a... And I pass out and then see. And then it's almost like I need to be in her arms and I need her... See, but isn't that interesting, Kate?

13:14Jacqueline:Dare I say, okay, this is, this is, you, you reach for, you reach for victimizing for closeness. Yeah, totally. Because you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you know, I'm a performer. So I just performed. Can you open the restaurant for us or whatever? Like, you're like, I had a tough, you're always like, should we tell him? You're like, should we tell him I had a tough day? Okay. You always like reach really fast. You're like, should I tell him about the pain in my hip? you're like I'm gonna tell him about the painting in a minute and I'm always like no no I think it's like because I always think that that's gonna someone's gonna experience that as um like someone trying to turn a screw which which to me would make me back off more yeah right so what what should I do what should I do let me think let me think Kate okay okay let me think for you I texted

14:02Kate:Jacqueline live from the line because I was so sad and Jacqueline you have to you have to come

14:06Jacqueline:Well, the sadness is it's sad for a little Caperland because you like community. The people's cloud. And you like connecting at the coffee shop. And we all remember our song. Hey, what's going on? Yeah. And that was all about feeling alive and connecting with the baristas. Okay. Now, here's a question. Have you. Okay. Is she always on the register? Yeah. Never behind the machine? Never. And then are there other people who are in the register and they're normal, whatever?

14:39Kate:Sometimes? Like generally at the shop? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's lovely. And do you see? I'm getting, I'm exchanging curl routines. We're having fun. Does anyone know your name? Like, yay. There was someone that knew my name. He moved on. I haven't done a full name exchange, but like talk chatty, talkative, like totally. I wonder if you could get video.

14:59Jacqueline:I mean, not, not for the listener. I'm sorry. I want to be very clear. I'm going to go with Metaglass.

15:04Kate:I'm going to go with Metaglass. You know I care about privacy.

15:06Jacqueline:I'm talking about specifically for me to help diagnose.

15:08Kate:And I'm going to go, hey, do you mind that I'm recording you right now? And she'll be like, yeah. Is this? I hate you.

15:15Jacqueline:Let me just try a few. It would be so cool if I went. We experimented with me doing spontaneous role play to see what emerged. Not saying that any of them are good suggestions, but like. No, no. The role playing was good all over rehearsal.

15:27Kate:It was good.

15:28Jacqueline:So I'm like, what are some options?

15:30Kate:What can I say? I'm almost like I need to do something. what's the grand I need to do something to make her like me like what do I say like oh my god you're gonna do bake cookies hi I just baked these cookies do you want one I think I'm gonna fucking bake cookies take them in there do you want a cookie I just baked them I could be

15:47Jacqueline:wrong but I feel like if you're working in a coffee shop like a baked good is sort of just like you already are like no but it's the free ones no I know but it's the gesture are you talking about killing with kindness is that what I'm yes are you trying to go let's watch you react to this yeah hi this is so weird what about this Kate what about like I was like I was like hi um I don't know don't you at some point I'm surprised like because you know you're somewhat brazen right I mean you know we all contain many sides oh I can

16:21Kate:get pissed off no if someone actually fucks with me like she's not actually fucking no no right like it's weird no no but somebody i'm trying to think of an excuse like an example rather like i will

16:32Jacqueline:be like oh like you obviously like when that you know uber driver like started driving off when

16:36Kate:like i was like half out of the car i lost my shit okay yeah and like you started saying like

16:41Jacqueline:bitch made i told him it was bitch made yeah okay that i brought up his mother oh yeah i'll go how

16:48Kate:how the fuck did your mother raise you start moving the car with a with a woman halfway in

16:53Jacqueline:halfway out um i just drew with a pen i drew a little heart on my inner ankle like um like a teenager um i draw hearts too so let me just think about this like it's like hey um i almost didn't come to the cafe yesterday because um it's like so clear that you like literally hate me and um i just say like i see uh i recognize i can't really do anything about it um but just like that's what I'm getting from you. I watch you with the other customers. Um, so, you know, peace be with you. I am going to continue to come to the cafe. Radical honesty. Yeah. Uh, like kind of sucks for me. Um, but I thought I would just say, I see it.

17:33Jacqueline:So I'll stop dancing, fawning and whatever for you. Um, you know, respectfully, I really liked this cafe. I'm going to continue to come here. I'm going to continue to smile at your fucking ass. Okay. Yeah. Uh, I don't know. I'm getting no i think i think it is um just i don't think i'd be able to resist i'd be like oh i'd be like um i don't think i'd be able to resist going like i mean i'd probably start with days of sort of jokes like kind of like uh we like we okay you know what i mean like me again everything okay

18:03Kate:like hi well i'm too scared to even say like how are you i think i've been like hi like no i've done like how are you because maybe someone like anyone with a fucking pulse would go fine how you doing? Thanks for asking. What does she do? Nothing. She's always stonewalled. She doesn't give me shit. And you know, when I was with my friend, I even said, I planned to go ask her how late the cafe's open. I was like, I want to delay. I want to extend the thing. So I said, okay, remember, you're going to ask her how late you guys open. Cause I thought, Oh, maybe there'll be a little moment in there.

18:33Kate:Like, and then I, you know, do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know, just anything just to see more of like, I love that. No. Hey, I just want to say

18:41Jacqueline:that your radical honesty because because here's the thing i just want to say can i ask you something

18:45Kate:and she'll go what and i'll go this is so funny but um i have this theory that you think i'm someone that i'm not that's so crazy that's kind of interesting what's wrong with that and i'll go

18:57Jacqueline:let's roll play let's roll play yeah okay i have a couple first of all and then i'll note you after i give tweaks okay because i have ideas all right i remember don't say anything because she doesn't

19:06Kate:fucking say shit she she nods her head at me like yeah what do you want cunt that's literally what she does by the way. Okay. Okay. Okay. Do it. Do it. Hi. Um, can I do, can I have, um, an almond milk cortado please? Great. Um, sorry, this is so funny. I'm, um, this, this feels crazy to say, but I have this theory. I come in here a lot, right? I have this theory that you think I'm someone that I'm not. Is that possible? Do you, do we know each other outside of the, are you talking to me i'm sorry what yeah sorry sorry i know this is this is totally crazy i'm just wondering i have this feeling that sometimes i think that you think i'm someone else that maybe

19:47Jacqueline:you're reacting to me i don't what are you i don't know who i don't know who you are i don't we don't

19:52Kate:know each other sorry there's someone else coming in line by the way it's really good that's really good it's too scary i'm like i know it's terrifying it's terrifying it was terrifying right role play

20:02Jacqueline:is really powerful yeah role play is really fucking powerful because it was wild to be hurt because it's also really uncomfortable for me because it's not how i approach the world okay

20:13Kate:this is now let's try but can can yes can someone break in with the naomi has an idea yeah i think you need to say clearly my presence in this coffee shop is uncomfortable for the both of us what days of the week do you work oh shit holy shit did you hear that yes so what i heard was clearly my presence in the coffee shop is uncomfortable for the both of us what days do you work and i'll reroute i mean here's what i'll here's the issue right no i will never do that that's way too scary well here's you go with me again and see and then maybe i need to know she hates you too what the fuck is this what come in i have a theory okay do you think there is any way that this is a friend of an ex oh honey we've talked about that i've gone is this like lesbian drama something but there's just like by the way anything's possible because that's what it seems like almost and that makes me then i do want to go what right because if it's that what happened i stand by nothing there's no i don't my record is clean is clean nothing yeah yeah yeah it's like i understand right like we all have we all have friends who have exes where it's like we're not gonna go to fucking tijuana with them i don't know why tijuana came home but it's like we all have friends are like yeah you're not gonna see me breaking bread with my fucking friend's ex right of course but there's a difference between that and unless you have been violently cheated on right yeah unless there's been some horrible gross um misconduct what the fuck are you doing so just hating someone because like they are connected to a friend through an ex or something you know like that that's crazy so yeah yeah it makes me want to go in more i go let's go today let's go i fucking hope she's there today well i have ideas and i actually had it in the shower because i was like i want to go there today and i was scared and i was like kate how fucking like what come on what is so i mean it's really fascinating it's like a crucial

22:17Jacqueline:approach psychic encounter i have a couple approaches um i know that makes me want to fight yeah um she actually has beef there's no beef i have a couple ideas kate okay okay one you accept it as a you pretend you're fucking larry david okay and it's funny way in okay yeah yeah it's

22:37Kate:I'm filmed and this is a recurring bit. Mary David's actually, that's a really powerful archetype and powerful healing figure to have with me. It really is. When I go through that. Okay.

22:46Jacqueline:It's like ego.

22:47Kate:You just healed me.

22:48Jacqueline:You go, thank you. Okay. No, he's, he does that. So, so it's like, you go, right. And you don't actually have to do what, you know, the character would do. Right.

22:59Kate:Yeah.

23:00Jacqueline:It's just suddenly you're seeing it from a perspective of like the joke of how over the top people are and oh yeah like they have a feud and you know how would how would it all play out so anyway yeah that's one of my suggestions and that's my suggestion for if you choose to do nothing but see it as the weather that you can't control yeah right okay that's one idea next is and this is like i'm not saying i'm right for this okay it's just how i think about stuff okay And it comes from not necessarily like great places. Like it's like my desire for my like unimpeachable responses to behavior. Right.

23:40So it's like any version of saying something in my mind cannot be framed as one thing,

23:47Jacqueline:but it actually is something else. Okay. So if you go and go, I just think, you know, this is uncomfortable for us. And so we need to, um, I'd like to know what, what days you work. It's sort of like, if that were really true and you're, and you're going to say that. I know, no, no, but I'm just, just as example, if that were really true, if that were like true. Right. And it was like, I'm going to find out what hours this person works. So I don't have to work there. You'd find those hours out in another way. Right. It's a faux, like when someone's like, like, Hey, like I don't like, I just, you know, I, you know what I'm saying?

24:20Jacqueline:It's like information seeking that's fake, but you'd figure it out another way. So I guess here's what it is. What do you want? One, restoration and her to like you and realize she was wrong this whole time. And is that what you truly want?

24:34Kate:I want her to like me and I can't. Right. And that's not up to me.

24:38Jacqueline:You have a theory that maybe it is up to you because there's, you know, you're aware that there's a misunderstanding here. She thinks you're Bianca. Bianca Doolittle. Okay. She thinks you're Bianca Doolittle. Okay. And, you know, whatever, you know, it's not magical thinking or something. I mean, it's not. I just mean, it's maybe there's a way out. You're bargaining with God here. You're like, you're like, I know. Right. You're like, it's denial. It can't just be what it is, which I and I'm like you. I think everything has a reason. Right. And so I would be trying to fix it. So I think there's a reasonable amount of investigation that, you know, I don't think it's that crazy.

25:20Jacqueline:But have we met before? I mean, obviously I come in here all the time, but I'm like, I feel like I know you. I'm Kate Berlant. What is your name? And then maybe she'll go, wait, what? So you're Bianca Doolittle, okay? Who left my father in the lurch? Exactly. So I'm just saying the fact that you've never said your name to her, right?

25:42Kate:Yeah.

25:42Jacqueline:If you have this theory that there's a chance she thinks you're someone else, right?

25:47Kate:I don't think it's even by name though. I think like maybe, you know, like someone in the neighborhood was rude or something. And she like thinks it's me. I mean, I don't know. But I want to go in. I hope I see her. I want to go in. It's very interesting. I'm just going to laugh. I'm going to laugh. It's going to be. Wait, another. I was walking down the street, funnily enough, on the way to the coffee shop. And I thought, by the way, my eyesight and I'm like, it's getting worse. Like my distance glasses now, I'm like needing them more. and last night I wore them like out I was like oh fuck like I guess I gotta get contacts I don't

26:24Jacqueline:know I'm oh god but paperland with contacts is so like I just can really see it with you with this

26:31Kate:with the contact solution I know it's paperland just lost her contact you know I just see a lot

26:37Jacqueline:of contact-based drama unfolding it's too scary another medical another medical thing for shit

26:44Kate:to go wrong like really fucking scares me i don't know i don't know why don't you pursue i'm walking

26:49Jacqueline:all those exercises they're like you actually they're like why don't give it a shot give one of the things where they go actually your eyes just need to be strengthened there's various eye muscles do one of the fucking programs for one month but disgusted by eye muscles yeah but yeah

27:04Kate:no you're right what but what's funny so the eyesight you do that just grosses me out eyes freaked me out but i think that i so i was walking and because of my eyesight it's really happening where i'm not recognizing people or i see them and i'm like looking at them like they're strangers and they're looking at me and i go huh and i go oh it's my friend or someone i know so i was walking and i thought i saw someone walking toward me i did not want to run into not dramatic like and that's what's funny not like someone there's no one on earth i need to like actively avoid back to the barista i don't have beef i there aren't there's no one that i'm like oh fuck we're about to get into it like of course we all feel that we're not dying to run into, but I don't have anyone that would make me like cross the street, but you know what I mean?

27:45Kate:Yes. Um, actually, actually I crossed the street to avoid a good friend who I just wasn't.

27:48Jacqueline:Well, that's, that's what you're talking about. Then yeah. Like, no, no, no, no.

27:52Kate:But somebody's walking toward me. I think I know who it is and there's a bakery. I just gently, and I very realistically act as though, Oh yeah, I'm going to the bakery. I go into the bakery and then I start to pretend to look at a cake. Of course. And I, and I have, I have a full, put in an order. I have a full act out about buying a pie to avoid someone. It might not have been them. And I go, that's gorgeous. I go, how, um, how much is that? And she goes, Oh, it's this much. Oh, actually it's this much. Okay. God, it's great. Yeah. Okay. Um, if I were going to order that, like how much lead time I go into a full, I take a picture of it.

28:28Of course.

28:28Kate:I go, I'm going I send this to the birthday girl. I send this to the birthday girl.

28:33Jacqueline:I do a full and then I leave. Some people really like to me that makes total sense. Right. Yeah. And even like, although I probably with that level of engagement feel like psychically like I had to buy something almost like, I know, but no one was in there. It was very empty. I wasn't like crowding. No, no, no. I don't mean like, I almost just mean like, like you were part of this drama with them. Like now you do know more about their pies now. Would you maybe consider buying a pie from this person? A hundred percent. So I see it as like, you know, to take in information of a business has value to that business.

29:10Jacqueline:And so I still, I think there's, you stand on moral grounds here is all I'm trying to say. It's a transaction that is meaningful, even though it was built on a lie.

29:22Kate:You're still doing good business. You're still doing good business. I'll tell you this. If I had to buy a cake next week, guess where I'd fucking go.

29:28Jacqueline:okay exactly um some people do no act outs i have to believe some people it's crazy no some people that story makes sense tool right like that's just a that's a tool that is right there at any time

29:41Kate:it's i've acted my way into yeah it's all yeah it's almost eerie when you realize what you can

29:48Jacqueline:act your way into i do it with like with a meaningless transaction that's out of time I don't usually invent other like I don't invent other specificity like characters for some reason like there's like I wouldn't have the courage almost to go birthday girl right yeah yeah it's like it's like there's something like I think it's all gonna fall apart if I involve like another character it's like it's like totally it's like I believe like there's some it has to almost be like an illusion that blows past and can go up in the dust it's like yeah don't anchor it to another

30:21Kate:yeah even though why not it's just interesting the little rules we live by quick i purchased oh here's my mailman oh that's exciting how do you know your mailman at least here's what i'll say at least it's not your mailman that hates you oh my god can you imagine well hello where we're glazing over one of my famous act outs which was the fedex guy who was delivering the heavy boxes and i felt so bad that i pretended to be pregnant unbelievable and i pretend to be pregnant I meant I just stood with my hands. You didn't say anything. You didn't. No, no. Right. I just did a motion. I think I put my hand, I kind of rubbed my stomach and leaned back into my hand, lower back to insinuate, I wish I could help you with those heavy boxes, but I'm expecting.

31:08Jacqueline:But doctor's orders. Doctor's orders. Yeah, I'm actually supposed to be on bed rest, they said.

31:13Kate:Yeah, I couldn't do it.

31:14Jacqueline:But I came to the door anyway.

31:15Kate:Anyway, I purchased two boxes of Gerolsteiner from Trader Joe's. This is the best sparkling water money can buy. I go, this is extraordinary. It's kind of a bitch because going there, loading the boxes. But I was like, this is how important the Gerolsteiner is to me. Multiple bottles were flat. I repeat. No. Multiple bottles. And Gerolsteiner is the most bubbly. You can leave a Gerolsteiner open on the counter overnight. It's just fizzy in the morning. it's crazy oh it's the minerality of it is so dense that it just like is that's a geyser right yeah and so i was horrified and i go so do i reach out to gerald steiner or do i reach out to trader joe's i called trader joe's no one answered and i gave up but should i see that's really

32:04Jacqueline:the courage not the courage you had the internal strength to make a phone call like because first of all was it i love making hi welcome to trader joe's like listen for no it just rang rang rang bang, bang, bang, bang. Okay. Well, yeah, the on-air courage. I mean, I guess like the way I see it is like, you're not going to get anything on the phone from them. That's meaningful. I feel like the only way I don't have a refund isn't coming from like someone on the phone to Trader Joe's. They're going to be like, well, you could bring in the bottles and you're not going to do that. So your only move is like, Gerald Steiner.

32:36Jacqueline:Yeah. Gerald Steiner. And just be like, this happened. I'm not bringing the bottles back. I'm not bringing the bottles back to Trader Joe's.

32:42Kate:they're not gonna you know it's not cheap by the way they'll think i mean because they're open now

32:46Jacqueline:so it's sort of like they're open you've opened it open it yeah nothing's there so you can't bring back the flat bottle so your only option is to say like i'm a big fan the work yeah my heart was broken my heart was broken and uh i'm just curious is there anything you can do home yeah no no i'm

33:04Kate:gonna do that i'm gonna send the email um because that's i have a new hack i have a new life hack okay give it to me corkage fee wait a second when you're going to dinner explain what you mean you're now bringing your own wine yeah no no like you're like what you thought was a scam now you're actually

33:25Jacqueline:no actually it rocks saves you hundreds oh listen to this no no no okay i so my mother and my aunt

33:33Kate:come to town or you know my aunt's in town we're going to dinner the four of us i go i call the restaurant um shout out to bachetti call the restaurant and i go hi do you guys have a corkage fee um and they go yeah it's 35 bucks damn maybe it was 40 i think it was 35 and i go great i go i hope it's not uncouth and they're like not uncouth at all they go we have maximum two bottle quirkage you know but um yeah i go great so i have a fancy bottle of champagne that was a gift

34:04Jacqueline:i bring it wait hold on take me take me back okay yeah why are there quirkage fees

34:12Kate:punishment alone i mean i gotta charge you something that makes sense to me they're why you just drink for free 35 that's the price of fucking two glasses but if you're ordering dinner if you're ordering dinner yeah i understand you're not you can't bring your that's crazy i restaurants they have to i think it's it's that's why it's a half i'm not saying it's a deal of a century then you're having you're having we had because i i i wanted one glass like everyone gets a glass more than a glass you know a little champagne pour and then you're not just saving the meal why are you saving cheaper because because you're not buy a glass of champagne would be expensive bringing your own was not you're saying the 35 dollar i'm saying i'm saying that at a restaurant nowadays, you're looking at$18 a glass.

35:00Kate:The hack is bring your own wine. You're not getting out of the corns fee. Of champagne, I'd say there's five glasses. Yes. That's$90. 18 times five.

35:13Jacqueline:So you're, oh, are you saying, and to buy a full bottle of champagne. I'd say it's$55.

35:18Kate:Wait, hold on.

35:19Jacqueline:But if everyone had a glass, wouldn't you have just gotten a bottle of champagne in the restaurant? This is what I'm trying to understand. With the bottle of champagne in the restaurant, everyone had a glass oh there's yeah yeah so you're why would everyone have ordered it by the

35:32Kate:glass i'm saying oh but there's no you're not gonna get a bottle in a fucking restaurant for 35 the bottle's gonna be minimum 70 right and you're saying but you like good champagne and no i don't care about the quality it's about saving money it's about being able to have champagne at all to have a drink at all i only drink champagne that's the truth and by champagne i mean bubbles i I don't like, I'm not drinking red wine. I'm not drinking white wine. In a restaurant, I want either maybe a martini, a Marg, right? Or a glass of bubbles. So I would rather have, and my mom only drinks bubbles. We all like bubbles.

36:08Kate:So I go, great. Either we can each order an$18 glass of fucking champagne.

36:11Jacqueline:But the comparison that needs to be drawn, and I'm sorry to be harping on this, but I'm only doing it because I just spent time on it already. What does it cost to get a bottle of champagne in the restaurant? I'm not saying I know the answer. I'm just checking. Minimum 70. Versus 35 plus how much was your bottle of champagne that you brought with you? It was free. It was a gift. Oh, well, here we go. Drink your own free champagne in the restaurant is how you're saving money.

36:38Kate:Right, right. But even if I had bought, let's just say the bottle was, I don't believe in spending more than, I don't believe in spending more than$40, my God, on the bottle. Cause you can get really good stuff. So let's say 40.

36:49Jacqueline:So$40 plus$35 corkage fee. $40 plus$35. $75, right? Yeah.

36:58Kate:Oh, so it's back to normal.

36:59Jacqueline:So then what if you bought a bottle of champagne in the restaurant that was not the greatest champagne ever? Would it be$75 and under? That's what I'm saying. I just think the comparison, if you're saying everyone loves bubbles in the family, the comparison to everyone ordering a glass is not, see what I'm saying? Okay, fuck.

37:18Kate:okay but it brings the bill down at the end of the meal and that's what i like to see

37:22Jacqueline:oh i want to be i if anyone thinks like i am like the the sour grapes i know i know no i'm truly just trying to understand okay and also make sure you don't get fucked by your own confusion okay i don't want you getting really fucked because sometimes i do get sometimes i do the math wrong yeah i know and it's wrong you get an emotional idea and and i just that happens a lot um what did i have i'm just trying to think if i've had anything interesting oh but i was thinking what about mason mason matcha okay i was trying to think about something so i read carolyn mace while i drink matcha and then that becomes the association that can be my 4 p.m spiritual

38:02Kate:i'm still gonna say it 4 p.m is a little late for matcha what about yeah but i'm already i'm

38:06Jacqueline:having coffee at four anyway yeah you're already fine but i saw where was i oh right i was in a hotel. A lot of hotel reportage to do, but they were, they were doing a strawberry matcha. They said it was pure strawberry worked into the matcha.

38:23Kate:La Cologne does that.

38:24Jacqueline:Oh, maybe that's what it was.

38:26Kate:This is a big, so by the way, I have an announcement, which is bitch. I know exactly where you were. It was, it was at Chicago's in Chicago by the Viceroy. I bet anything right by the Viceroy, there's a La Cologne in Chicago. And I famously went there after Rome, landed from Rome, say at the Viceroy and trying to stay awake, went to La Cologne. And I literally, of course, told them, I was like, I just landed from Rome. It's like, they don't need to hear it. I was like, a little late in the day for caffeine, but we just landed from Rome. They had the strawberry matcha on top. That's not usually what I get ever because I'm like, it's too sweet.

38:59Kate:I don't, you know, I'd rather have a cupcake, whatever. Totally, totally. I said, can I have a sample? I said, would it be okay to try a sample? And then I, and they were like, sure. And I go, I buy so much La Colombo over the years. They gave me a sample of strawberry matcha. Explaining why you're owed the sample. I deserve it. My knees almost buckled. It was so fucking good. See, that's the thing. It's not too sweet. It was sweet, but not too sweet. Strawberry is un-fucking-real. Strawberry is unbelievable. Okay, it's a flavor. It's berries, berries above all. And I was blown away. And then it became a hyperfectation.

39:32Kate:Strawberry is a, yeah, yeah. And I went back and got it, I think, twice. Never transferred to Los Angeles. I never brought back the craving.

39:38Jacqueline:I feel like the way the strawberry would intersect with the matcha would really be big for me.

39:43Kate:And so how do I make it my own way?

39:46Jacqueline:This is what the culture is now.

39:48Kate:What about freeze-dried?

39:50Jacqueline:What about freeze-dried? I just bought freeze-dried strawberries. Freeze-dried strawberries to powder and stir in. Well, I have freeze-dried strawberries in my house, and I have the top shelf matcha. Now, the Brevo Bambino can't help you out in the matcha world, I imagine, right? No. There's no...

40:06Kate:I have my, I have my whisk. I have my, of course I've got my whisk. I've got my strainer. That's the thing that really changes the game. Really? I have the little thing that scoops one gram. So I do three grams of matcha for my cup. And I have my tea bowl that I literally brought back from Kyoto years ago. Wow. So I have my whole, I have my sacred set up. Every time I drink from it, I go, God, what if this breaks? I'm like, don't break it. Don't break it. Really? Every fucking time.

40:32Jacqueline:No, wait, because you feel like you couldn't get a replacement?

40:37Kate:If it actually broke into big pieces, I could get it fixed. But it's just like, yeah, just the sentimentality. You just love the specific one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm tempted to end the episode on, yeah, you guessed it, a fucking ghost story. And I'm hesitant to even bring it up because I don't want them trailing.

40:54Jacqueline:Well, start by, let's just, before you get into the topic, okay? Okay, great. Still a little energy work. I do not. Yeah, I do not. But first just start with some feet on the ground, okay? A little grounding to Mother Earth.

41:05Kate:Okay.

41:06Jacqueline:All right. Deep breath in and why you shoot the breath out and expel anything that's not your own energy. Lovingly. Yes. Maybe one more. Go out hard. And then now let's just call in the light that's going to, you know, kind of like beef up your own light.

41:30Kate:I call upon Archangel Michael to protect me. Perfect.

41:33Jacqueline:Okay. Get that egg around you or whatever shape you need and then tie it up tight up top. And now you can talk about it. You talk about it and it has nothing to do with anyone trailing.

41:43Kate:Exactly. Okay, great. So, and again, this continues to happen at hotels, other places. Which again, remember, you need to do this before you get to the hotel. On the way. No, I know. No, I thought about this a lot, Jacqueline. So staying at this hotel, very nice. I say before you book the place, okay?

42:00Jacqueline:You get on booking.com and they're going to see your light, I think. These guys coming. Okay. They're going to see you. You can't do it in the cabin on the way over. Okay. You're a beacon.

42:10Kate:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But anyway. Energy hygiene every morning. This really sucked. This was a scary one. So I - I can't believe this happened again. I was in the hotel. So we're - What city? California. Okay.

42:27Jacqueline:Say no more.

42:28Kate:Not Los Angeles. and um because i love this place and i want to go back yeah and i just don't want to no don't spread it so i'm what happened was hanging out everything's great go to bed and what happened was i and again it's this thing where it's kind of lucid i'm like kind of half awake but this was the first time this had happened where and my partner was with me so they witnessed it happen where I woke up. So what I saw was I didn't see a face. How late? Hard to say. Midnight-ish. Okay. Between midnight. But you were in bed like earlier than that.

43:08Jacqueline:You got in bed at 10 or something. Yeah.

43:10Kate:We've been like watching a movie, whatever.

43:11Jacqueline:Yeah.

43:13Kate:It was a, I know it was a man with short brown hair, but I didn't see a face. And he was hovering like almost over me. Like his face almost like looking. Like looking down on you?

43:24Jacqueline:Yeah.

43:25Kate:And I, and I said, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God. And I started moving to the, like towards the head, the headboard, like out of bed, like zipped up. Oh my God. Oh my God. Like scared, really scared. My heart was racing, flew to the back of the head crawling backward. Yeah. Crab crawling backward. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. It was really scary.

43:47Jacqueline:And when you went backward, Or did the face disappear? Did the hovering disappear? Or did you see him still there in front of you?

43:55Kate:No, it was like I reacted and then I was out of it. And then I was like, but it sucked. And again, it really scared me. And I was like, and then of course I'm like awake. I'm like, sorry. And I just feel, I like don't want to get up and go. And so one thing that's kind of, there was like, so the hotel is old. and there was a thing with like the light earlier where like you know I don't know there's things you could read into and go a flickering light whatever yeah and like but I was just staring into the like it just it scared me and I fell back to sleep and then I was fine but I won't be staying in that room again and then the next day we kind of so it is an old hotel and um and then And I was actually joking with a friendly barista who doesn't fucking hate me.

44:47Kate:Yes. The next day I was chatting and I was like, kind of, I saw a ghost last night or whatever, you know? And he was like, yeah, there's like been stuff there. And I was like, are you serious? So here's my question. Cause I'm planning to go back. Do I say at the front desk, hi, this is so crazy, but please don't put me in any room where people have complained about ghosts. I think it's completely.

45:06Jacqueline:Okay.

45:07Kate:I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. Reasonable. Cause I'm like, I don't want to be in a room where they go. yeah some people as we all know from bend oregon when i call and they go yeah that's the area people

45:16Jacqueline:have reported issues well it's yeah it's interesting um because i uh stayed at basically a b &b kind of place old house um and it was it was interesting because it's sort of like you get there there's no real check-in unless there happens to be someone there and then they It's kind of like halfway between a hotel and a B &B. It's just an odd thing, though, because they leave at 7 p.m. They leave at 7 p.m. I know. You're like, so I guess I'm on my own. And the other people. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. So I guess your room locks, but you're just in a shared space that you're just in with the other people who also have the room.

45:57Jacqueline:There is no central authority.

45:59Kate:By the way, it happened again. I'm just going to briefly chime in and say. Please. I was staying in a place like that with no concierge, no front desk where you're alone with the guests at night. And I wasn't in the room, but my partner was. And a man opened the door, came in, sees my partner, goes, oh my God, sorry. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He accidentally went into the wrong room. His key worked for our room. Well, he was like, I'm sorry, my rooms are across the hall. The doors look the same. Can you imagine? I mean, what if you had headphones on and you were jerking off wildly spread?

46:34Jacqueline:This is the same narrative as Jamaica. Call, stay free. I know it's Jamaica. Okay. It's someone else's key can't work on your door or they didn't give you a hotel room. That's not a hotel room. Okay. I know. Okay.

46:46Kate:That's absolutely outrageous. He was mortified. He felt bad. We, I mean, I mean, it's not a great experience for him either.

46:55Jacqueline:Like, no, like, like in other words, like you shouldn't have to, um, your key shouldn't work in someone else's room. I've definitely, when I've, my room has been changed or I go from one hotel to the next like george clooney in that movie okay where am i okay and i i go up i go to the wrong room you know because like i have the other number in my head i think all the keys just work i think every key work i think i think they're just really letting that happen so i say this to say oh i asked on the way in because i have yet to see a ghost and so i don't have the fear that you have i just don't right because i've never actually had had it yeah so i i know not what i you know wish for or whatever right i'm like i bet this place has got some uh spirits eh like on the way in when when the woman was there and then she was trying to feel me out i want the information so i act like i you know i'm hoping there are yeah right because i don't want them to not give it to me because i'm sure some people it's not haunted is it you know like kind of yeah yeah yeah so i'm like no no i I think it's cool.

47:57Jacqueline:I love the history of the building. Yeah. And so then she sort of gives it to me like, yeah, yeah. Well, not, I haven't, but the person, you know, the other person who works here or whatever, or the person who was here from the previous owner said that, you know, just like classic kind of like, I haven't seen any paranormal activity, but you know, classic stuff, like, you know, picture frames flying off the walls. I was like, wow. But it's, but my self-consciousness when I do ask that is that I don't want to be, I don't want them thinking I'm some ghost hunter crassly, you know, because there are people sort of like wildly going to provoke ghosts or something like that, which is rude.

48:37Kate:I don't want to provoke at all. And that was, as you know, I've had some friendly ones that really didn't scare me where I'm just like awake. I see them. I'm fine. I go back to sleep.

48:48Jacqueline:I think the only, the only, I just had to remember, I'm sure I've brought this up, but you know, sometimes you see these mediums talk about all this anxiety they experienced or whatever and in their life. And then like when they finally accepted their gifts, like all the other anxiety left. Okay.

49:04Kate:Oh shit.

49:06Jacqueline:Like almost like there's all this energy running through you that you're like pushing away.

49:10Kate:Yeah. Okay.

49:11Jacqueline:Like, like this kind of thing, like, you know, maybe you need to take control of your gifts, so to speak. Okay. Yeah. you should at least really develop, uh, the energy hygiene, which is, you know, there's nothing, there's so much you can do instead of like just waiting for, you know, there, there's someone hovering over you and you scream for Archangel Michael. Right. I know it's in the last ditch, right. It's like, you could probably, and then I just feel like also if, if you are, if you do have some of these gifts, then, you know, might you not be vulnerable in some ways to energy? You're obviously sensitive, right?

49:48Jacqueline:So it doesn't suggest that you should be actively sort of helping your own energy field.

49:56Kate:You're correct. You are correct.

49:57Jacqueline:Maybe it's time for you to read Be Your Own Shaman. Remember I read a couple bits from that and some good practices in it. But there's nothing books out there about this.

50:07Kate:I'll look into it.

50:08Jacqueline:All right. Talk soon. Love you.

50:10Kate:Okay. I love you.

50:16geeky experience