In short
Two best friends (“hags”) riff on how “anything can lead to anything,” using internet rabbit holes and community life as examples—especially soothing farm videos, cold-place survival vlogs, neighborhood food, and microdosing/health routines—then wrap with a Scotland ghost-tour anecdote.
Guests
No formal guests. The episode is a conversation between the hosts: Jacqueline and Kate (plus occasional mentions of friends/Chris/Naomi).
Key claims
Watching calming, hands-on videos (especially watermelon preservation) can feel deeply healing and even improve sleep/dreams. Community connection (neighbors baking/pizza/sourdough) is transformative. Microdosing mushrooms (Silo gummies) can enhance mood, concentration, and perception; amla is a “magical berry” with health benefits. Raw tomatoes trigger an allergy; cooked is fine.
Notable examples
“Azerbaijan farm life” watermelon-juice-to-jelly candy video; cold Siberia knife-making family; Ojai Farmer’s Market basil flowers; neighbor sourdough/bread/pizza pricing; Esselstyn “savory oats” with turmeric/amla; Silo mushroom gummies; Edinburgh underground ghost tour at 11:15am (Kate left hungry).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOExploring Jiminy Glick and Performance
0:45 to 3:57
Kate discusses the influence of Jiminy Glick on her performance style.
“But I was telling Jacqueline, wait, you haven't watched Jiminy Glick, the Martin Short.”
Encountering Nature and Animals
3:57 to 5:59
A conversation about experiences with animals and nature during performances.
“I mean, I guess, you know, the internet.”
The Healing Power of Farm Life Videos
5:59 to 8:50
Jacqueline shares her experience watching soothing farm life videos on YouTube.
“Because it's like this family and it's like so fucking cold.”
Food as a Connection to Community
8:50 to 11:34
The hosts discuss the joy of local food and community connections through sharing meals.
“By the way, also, this is transformative.”
Microdosing and Culinary Adventures
11:34 to 14:00
Jacqueline shares her experience with microdosing and creating unique meals.
“Oh, pepper, turmeric, the pepper to activate the turmeric.”
Radicalizing into Farmer's Market Culture
14:00 to 18:08
The hosts discuss the joys of summer fruit and their experiences at farmer's markets.
“This is unbelievable, the sweetness of this.”
Introducing a New Period Care App
18:08 to 18:49
The hosts introduce and discuss the benefits of the Kama app for tracking menstrual health.
“This episode is brought to you by Kama, the period care company behind Sara.”
Cooking Adventures and Food Memories
18:49 to 19:55
The conversation shifts to food memories, including the hosts' baking experiences and how they feel about certain recipes.
“See, I keep mistaking the video of that watermelon, and I love watermelon.”
ADHD Hacks and Weird Solutions
19:55 to 24:14
The hosts share interesting life hacks from a social media thread, particularly for ADHD and organization.
“What's something that you've automated in your life?”
Drama with Household Items
24:14 to 28:00
The hosts discuss the ongoing drama with their orange tree and household experiences, including vacuum maintenance and takeout food.
“But, you know, that's what you almost hoped for.”
Show all 19 chapters
Delicious Takeaway Thoughts
28:00 to 28:54
The hosts discuss their experiences with takeaway food and the peculiarities of dining out.
“I think somebody was going to send us beeswax candles and it never happened.”
Life as a Cat Enthusiast
28:54 to 30:01
Jacqueline shares her thoughts about a cat she's been observing and the joy it brings.
“I walked by a window twice now, seeing the same cat sleeping in their tree in their home.”
Hunger and Food Cravings
30:01 to 31:05
A light-hearted discussion about hunger and the cravings they experience.
“I stumbled into a secondary place that I wanted to try because I could see just like tiny little place called Dine Time spelled T-H-Y-M-E.”
The Effects of Microdosing
32:03 to 33:16
Jacqueline talks about her experiences with microdosing and its effects.
“I'm just looking at an article about the uptick in mushroom and psilocybin and the whole thing.”
Ghost Tour Tales
33:16 to 34:34
The hosts recount their experiences and thoughts about ghost tours.
“Anyway, my life has really been playing out on, um, on the laptop this month.”
Reflecting on Ghosts and Experiences
39:09 to 42:00
Discussion on ghost experiences and reflections on their significance.
“Are you having any kind of ceremonial dinner, anything in Scotland to like mark time?”
Ghostly Encounters and Boundaries
42:00 to 43:05
Explore the hosts' experiences and beliefs about ghosts and personal boundaries.
“I named them, but I don't want to shame them for questioning how a ghost can walk through a wall.”
Creative Work and Focus
43:05 to 43:39
The hosts discuss strategies for focusing on work and maintaining productivity.
“You know, such a believer, but blind, but can't see.”
Communication Breakdowns
43:39 to 44:09
Discussion about a communication issue with a borough contact and future actions.
“The email I sent to the borough person bounced back.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Jacqueline Novak:Quince gives you luxury without the markup. It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that just clicks. Go to quince.com slash hags for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash hags to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash hags.
0:23Kate Berlant:Two best friends both alike in dignity. Nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. The hag divines when something must die. Yes, that was Poog. But this is huge. The ego loves to seek, but never to find. It was Berlant and Novak the whole time.
0:42Jacqueline Novak:Hi, eavesdropper. Literally, we just were having a wonderful conversation. We're like, we should hit record. And of course, now the pressure's on. But I was telling Jacqueline, wait, you haven't watched Jiminy Glick, the Martin Short. It's so fucking funny. It's some of the funny shit of all time. And I, a couple of times on stage, I'm like, wait, am I doing Jiminy Glick, like falling into that, like, like the voice.
1:02Kate Berlant:And because I was saying that a voice has emerged for me and it feels like it's been really specific to the primal nature of being on stage at Fringe Festival in Scotland.
1:12Jacqueline Novak:OK, you're down there and it's like. And you're almost at the end. There's something.
1:16Kate Berlant:And you're like, OK. And so, like, there's almost a reaching for archetypal energies. Right. You might have a more nuanced paintbrush. and another you know but i'm like like yeah so i don't know it's a murder it's kind of like who was it there were a couple cats i met once
1:32Jacqueline Novak:actual cats yes okay or like jazz cats yeah yeah yeah and i was like
1:39Kate Berlant:and it they launched for me with my friend paul's animals they launched for me um which was not how i ever talked to animals okay going oh it was like a very specific like oh hi candy okay and it was like opening up you know hearing a new note right it was like suddenly it was like oh that's new and that's you know brought on by them it's very interesting but anyway that's been present for me let's see what else I've met a lot of hags here I've met a lot of hags and you're almost at the end yeah and now I consider whether I return to states or not because we have international tags everywhere me?
2:24Jacqueline Novak:Azerbaijan
2:25Kate Berlant:that's you? Azerbaijan you got that gig? I was making a joke like that was you and you've been paid to do it
2:32Jacqueline Novak:oh my god can you believe no I was saying that there's Azerbaijan for some reason I haven't blocked it pronouncing it I'm gonna link it to Pook there are these videos on YouTube I think if you just search that and say like farm it'll come up the most Jacqueline like beautiful euphoric no narration no these videos of this couple that have this like unbelievable beautiful farm and it's just them like tending to their farm and there's kittens what crawling around and like the animals and like i watched this woman she has these melons i fell asleep to this last night on the couch no and i swear to god it like it's deeply healing to watch this woman she watermelons beautiful the most beautiful watermelons you've ever seen she's hacking them up and you watch her make this process where she's you know she methodically hacks them all up she's cubing them you're like what's she doing and then she with her hands goes in she's making juice with her hands and this big thing you know watermelon juice yep so it becomes pure watermelon juice then her and her like husband you see them lugging it over to this outdoor fire pit they have there and they're cooking it over you're going what's going on they're cooking the watermelon juice and then after a couple hours and then it'll say like in text like three hours later or something that then it reduces all the waters out so it's just the pure and you're like the color of it you're like, what does that taste like?
3:44Jacqueline Novak:Like the purest mountain watermelon. And then you go, what comes next? Then they pour it into these different pans and then they're leaving it out in this beautiful garden for three days. And it becomes this like, you're like, oh, it's like watermelon jelly roll, like dried watermelon candy. She peels it off. You're going, what's next? Coconut shavings.
4:03Kate Berlant:How did you find this? All over it. I don't even know. I mean, I guess, you know, the internet. Do you see it? Do you see it? I'm hunting now. I wrote, I wrote Azerbaijan. I wrote farm life kittens watermelon okay yeah yeah i mean farm youtube like and i i said to nami
4:19Jacqueline Novak:because we watched it once i found it i found it once before and i was like i need to watch this roscoe b with six subscribers no i think it's this person with 7.85 million okay this is it honey
4:31Kate Berlant:everyone okay this is it all right send it over listen to some of these wild onion preservation
4:37Jacqueline Novak:wild onion bread like you know this is this is it this is it by the way because in the uk they ask
4:46Kate Berlant:or the brits preserving vegetables they go wait country life vlog yep this is insane kate i mean this is what what yeah no i've never seen a youtube channel like this jacqueline it is it is the most
4:58Jacqueline Novak:healing this is all we should be watching and i and it happened to me i go marinating green beans village style all right hold on yeah and jacqueline i said i was like we live the wrong life like obviously i don't actually think that whatever but i was like i am so broken i know all my pain stems from not making watermelon jerky out in the sunlight like this is and just you have to watch
5:25Kate Berlant:it you'll be so moved it's a very interesting thing because what is it in the human that can instantly see what's wrong with its life and yet still feel that meaning is only that it would be an exit from meaning to abandon one's life for one that, you know what I'm saying?
5:47Jacqueline Novak:Of course.
5:47Kate Berlant:We're determined to make meaning within the context already, I'm looking at this garden, I'm looking at those pink rhododendron.
5:56Jacqueline Novak:Jacqueline, if you watch the watermelon the day before bed i drifted off to sleep pure peace and then i go i'm falling asleep i need to relocate to the bedroom right i go the piece of the video because you know when you fall asleep and you go i don't want to wash my face i don't want to i floated into a full like six step face care routine like without even you were able to i was able to completely do it care for the self i cared for the self i get into bed i call into the next room to naomi i'm awake they come in we started to watch the first episode of the biggest loser which is amazing but the beauty and the transcendence of the Azerbaijan video like canceled out any of the poison of the biggest loser documentary i drifted into sleep had really great dreams woke up worked on my dreams for the first time in months Jacqueline promise me you'll watch the watermelon video before you go to bed
6:47Kate Berlant:or tonight you just have to i'm looking at i'm scrubbing through i'm seeing it being poured
6:52Jacqueline Novak:traditional wild cherry plum preservation this is what the internet can give us we don't need it to
6:58Kate Berlant:give us i have a question for you no well you know what see this is very interesting i just want to see i'm wondering if chris could possibly pass this along because chris it's like you were served that right i don't know how he's gotten to this but he has found his way into sort of he watches these videos about the coldest places on earth okay whoa that's soothing these families okay Like I watched a little bit of one where like I'm whispering because I was like thinking it would be a good Christmas gift. Okay. Because it's like this family and it's like so fucking cold. Okay. Like the warmest like in like Siberia or whatever, like the warmest fucking time of the year.
7:34Kate Berlant:Like they are in nine layers of wool up to, you know, their eyeballs. Right.
7:38Jacqueline Novak:Yeah.
7:39Kate Berlant:And it's like it but it's like warm enough for them to go and like, you know, make water out of the ice, whatever. Right. It's like insane.
7:45Jacqueline Novak:Yeah.
7:45Kate Berlant:And then this guy, he's like the father. It's like, you know, he makes these knives, right? And they're like, you know, surprise, surprise, best in the world, right? Yeah, yeah. You know, like taught by his father, whatever, like slow, you know, it's, and so of course me, okay, like a capitalist hog, right? Going, well, Christmas is almost here.
8:06Jacqueline Novak:Yeah, yeah, totally. I'm going, does he deliver?
8:08Kate Berlant:Okay. Yeah. I'm going, does he do two-day shipping, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'm going to get Chris one of these knives or whatever, right? But you watch this and you go, we have a problem here. Okay. We have a real problem where we are able to see what works. Okay. For humans. And yet we are unable to go. So got it. Okay. I see. Yep. We, we need to care for each other. We need to change a basic sense of, you know, utility and community, blah, blah. And we know it. And yet we're almost like, oh, we are. The neighbors.
8:46Jacqueline Novak:I continue to be transformed by neighbor connection. So listen to this. By the way, also, this is transformative. Look at this fresh basil I got at the Ojai Farmer's Market that I have as a flower arrangement in my home. Flowering basil. The finest smell in the world. This almost brought me to tears. So as you know, I talked about the amazing community I'm experiencing in my neighborhood, how the sweet man invited us in to look at the kittens. Right? Oh, yeah. Last night, I'm walking, running to a neighbor. He goes, oh, you know the neighbors that live there, they bake bread and stuff out of their home.
9:18Jacqueline Novak:It's a couple. Lesbian couple. Okay. Older. He goes, yeah, yeah, I'll send you the menu. I got the menu. What? Welcome to your neighborhood bakery.
9:29Kate Berlant:Orders on these days. What?
9:31Jacqueline Novak:Thanks for keeping it cozy and local. Sourdough bread offering. Signature flavors.
9:37Kate Berlant:Full, small, medium, large. Full, different kinds. Neighborhood menu.
9:41Jacqueline Novak:Yep. My God. Herb legend. A savory fusion of thyme, rosemary, golden. Yeah. Jalapenos. Kalamata olives folded into the rich, chewy sourdough. They make banana breads. They have a banana bread menu, a cookie menu. And then this is where I go, excuse me, pizzas. I've never been so hungry in my life. Can you imagine? I go down the block to pick up a pizza from two women who made it for me. And it's$10. they go here$10 cheese base$2 for each topping like I'm gonna start crying so I go so I'm gonna I'm gonna I was like I'm ordering the sourdough loaf and then my neighbor last night texted me at 9 o 'clock hey I got two loaves this week I can walk one over to you right now if you want like I'm not gonna be able to finish it no can you believe this
10:29Kate Berlant:oh my god that with the
10:31Jacqueline Novak:Azerbaijan videos I'm like I'm locking it and the wild basil and the mushroom
Read the full transcript
10:36Kate Berlant:microdose I think I might have sent it to you but maybe you're not downloaded it at this time well the esselstyn family okay and oats her savory oats that she starts the day with i want that it's gonna want this no no you didn't send that to me oh really okay i saw it i i meant to because it's like you know it's savory fucking oats you heard me which you know for some of us i want that bad she's like no matter what i do i know i had these okay and it's like a lot of stuff right it's
11:03Jacqueline Novak:like like what walk me through it turmeric bring it up okay turmeric nutritional yeast all right
11:07Kate Berlant:Let me see if I can find it. Bring it up. Let's go. I just want to make sure that it doesn't fuck my recording. Hold on.
11:12Jacqueline Novak:I'm sorry, but I'm moaning because the basil that I got at the Ojai Farmer's Market.
11:16Kate Berlant:Oh, she throws some shiitakes in there. She keeps them in the freezer. They're frozen. So they're just like you pop them in. Okay, let's see. Wait. Morning porridge, Ann's Warrior Oats. Basil flowers are unbelievable.
11:26Jacqueline Novak:This is. Shout out to Gus Esselstyn, Pug Fan. Let's see what's in here.
11:34Kate Berlant:We'll have to source it later. But she did all the herbs. Oh, there goes the ginger I'm seeing. Oh, pepper, turmeric, the pepper to activate the turmeric. Greens, of course. You got to get your greens, your anointed greens. Is it cooked with water, broth? Oh, I think probably water. But it's all the stuff she's thrown in there. It's like.
11:58Jacqueline Novak:I want to make that like right now. Well, Jacqueline, you know what I'm thinking? Instapot. Right? Yeah. I mean, she's doing it over a pot.
12:08Kate Berlant:Stove top. You don't need it. I mean, unless you want to like freeze blocks of it. Yeah, yeah. She's doing stove top and she's going, yeah, I'm ready for this. I might make that for lunch.
12:19Jacqueline Novak:I mean. Wait, I had. Wait, can I show you my holistic breakfast? This is the. So everyone, I am experimenting back with micro dosing mushrooms, silo gummies. Silo is the brand. I don't know what the legal status is of their business. I don't know. But the point is, can I show you? This looks like a really small amount of food because I had already eaten part of it. But look at my plate of, look at this. This is from Ojai. Shout out to the Duchess. Best pastries I've maybe ever fucking had in my life. Look at this sourdough olive bread. And on top, that is zoeful, unbelievable, polyphenol rich, raw olive oil.
13:00Kate Berlant:I knew when I heard polyphenol. Oh, what's coming next? Yeah.
13:04Jacqueline Novak:These are eggs I made with fresh eggs from the Ojai farmer's market with sheep milk feta that will blow your fucking balls off.
13:11Kate Berlant:Feta rules. Feta rules. Unbelievable. I mean, I'm a vegan, but I'll be waiting for almond.
13:15Jacqueline Novak:These are daikon, spicy daikon radishes. These figs that I got at, cover your ears, air one. And this is how when the micro dose is, the mushroom micro dose. Can I tell you, this is the benefits of today. One gummy, lowest amount of dose. almost sub perceptual but kind of there for me because i took out an empty stomach we walked down to the coffee shop i see a guy with my same car and i go hey we start chatting end up exchanging numbers friendly talking the whole waiting in the whole coffee line having fun talking and then and then i'm home and i'm eating the fig and i'm just it's like sub perceptual it's like but i'm looking at the inside of the fig and i'm like genuinely kind of captivated by like the structure of the fig.
13:57Jacqueline Novak:I'm like, oh my god. This is unbelievable, the sweetness of this. Fruit in August. Listen, everyone, run. I'm so sorry, but now you can ignore it all year if you can't get yourself to the farmer's market. This is the month to be radicalized into farmer's market culture. It's late summer.
14:17Kate Berlant:This is when you get the craziest fruit. Are we still getting the tomatoes?
14:21Jacqueline Novak:Oh my god. Is this when the tomato gallery can live?
14:24Kate Berlant:Remember my refrigerator?
14:26Jacqueline Novak:This is when you get the most pornographic.
14:31Kate Berlant:I got the plant-based shepherd's pie again today. It was fucking heavenly at my spot. Oh. Okay. Sorry, I'm just looking through because I just noticed I found my way to something and then someone doing Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen for 60 days, etc.
14:49Jacqueline Novak:Will you please send the oatmeal recipe?
14:51Kate Berlant:Yeah, but it was a video.
14:54Jacqueline Novak:Send it to the group so we can post it.
14:56Kate Berlant:If you're following a rip, see it. I'm just looking at someone going, I'm a 77-year-old ex-diabetic that follows the Daily Dozen. It's worked better for me than any medication or medical solution for my diabetes. My cholesterol is great, too. I'm off all stectants. He's right. Traveling is the hardest part. A week at the family reunion messed me up this past year. It took me almost three months to recover. No, no, no, no. Okay. From having, like, cornbread and, like, ambrosia salad every day. To get back on. But, yeah, I mean, I do. Oh, you know what she throws in? The Amla, which, you know, if you're looking for a hot secret tip, exactly.
15:30Kate Berlant:Amla is like a magical berry. Wait. I've never even heard of it. Let me look this up. Jacqueline, Jacqueline, Jacqueline.
15:38Jacqueline Novak:You saw what I caved and bought yesterday? Oh, yeah. I was wondering about that. From last week's episode. Yeah. Array, tone, creatine, gummies. Fine. You got me by the cunt. And I bought them.
15:49Kate Berlant:I just asked a guy who's into weightlifting. I go, should I get out? Creatine! He goes, yeah, a lot of women are talking about it. I go, the brain, the brain, that's what we're all hearing, right? But, okay, gooseberries. Indian gooseberries are not to be confused with Barbados gooseberries, Cape gooseberries, Chinese gooseberries. Okay, point is, AMLA. In vitro studies have shown that AMLA may have anti-cancer properties, not only, blah, blah, blah, antioxidants, cholesterol arterial function where i find amla so they have the fruit frozen dried sweetened etc etc indian gooseberry but i've gotten the powder and i was dumping that in back in the day as in when i lived in the united states okay in my porridge daily it just has a tart flavor like like anything else okay amla was in your daily porridge sure was baby where'd you get it i ordered it online okay after reading about it from dr greger so i go almost like un-fucking-believable almost stuff you're like you're a fool not to be having omla i'm humiliated that i you know i wasn't before now i say this as someone who the only supplement i've enjoyed for the last you know a couple months has been vodka yeah so i just want to remind everyone no yeah she parties that which we well just like you know i scream for you know the truth of omla and i haven't had it in nine months so yeah yeah of course you know stars i'm just like you wait i need to find i need to find and show you what else let's see what else what else he's got going and i'll say this for
17:24Jacqueline Novak:product corner i'll reveal the brand of this uv 50 sun hat i got oh my god i mean i have headphones
17:31Kate Berlant:on so but just it's kind of funny just when you think about i mean this really shows how disinterested you are in my visor right the fact that you've bought a different hat and my visor remains my signature visor the visor for me i think the visor yeah how dare you okay okay there's no for me it's it has a deeper brim yeah it's true so that's all it is it's not about it's not i would do it if it were a hat i'm not in it for the visor i'm in it for this you know you'll see you'll see yeah see how you do you'll come visor weird eventually of course
18:09Kate Berlant:This episode is brought to you by Kama, the period care company behind Sara.
18:14Jacqueline Novak:An app that helps you track your cycle and period symptoms without selling your soul or your data.
18:19Kate Berlant:Sara securely tracks your fertility and period, but it's also your personal health companion, monitoring everything from mood, energy, and bloating. We'll tell you when you shouldn't wear white jeans, but we can also help you identify if you're at risk for diseases like PCOS. You shouldn't have to choose between demystifying your body and the threat of surveillance. That's why Sarah goes the extra mile to protect your sensitive data.
18:42Jacqueline Novak:Check out yourcomma.com to learn more and try the Sarah app. Use the code HAGS60 for two free months. That's yourcomma.com for better period care.
18:57Kate Berlant:You know what I like? Do you ever find your ways into these? See, I keep mistaking the video of that watermelon, and I love watermelon. But I keep mistaking it for a second. I'm like, are those tomatoes? I keep seeing this. And the way my mouth waters when I think a tomato is present.
19:11Jacqueline Novak:Oh, really?
19:13Kate Berlant:Yeah, the video. It looks like it's tomatoes.
19:15Jacqueline Novak:As you know, I'm allergic to raw. Right, right. Well, nothing's better than cooked. By the way, I'm getting an allergy blood test. Allergy blood test. Really? And you know what I think? I think I've a little bit of research. I think I'm self-diagnosing. I think it's a pollen allergy. There's a whole thing about the body confuses certain pollens. I don't really understand, obviously. Why would I? I'm not a doctor. But the point is, raw tomatoes, I'm fine with cooked. Thank the Lord, or else I'd be devastated.
19:43Kate Berlant:Wait, what was I running? I was running to my phone to get something. Oh, yeah. I was wildly doing screen grabs. Okay, going, I'm going to do screen grabs because I always see things I want to talk about with you. This is the perfect way. And what did I grab?
19:57Jacqueline Novak:Look at the brownies I made yesterday.
19:58Kate Berlant:and I used to not I used to not be into brownies they were too rich recipes going up for the eavesdroppers unimaginable oh yeah so I'll be posting the recipe for the people for the paid
20:09Jacqueline Novak:subscribers will get the recipe to the protein brownies that I made yesterday um well on right
20:13Kate Berlant:now so there was one of these you know comment threads where they go where someone poses like what's your craziest hack or whatever like what's your craziest adhd or whatever like come on give me your unhinged solutions now and they really are bevies of interesting shit right and then all these people go like like this comment so i'll remember to come back here it's like this like you ever see that i guess if people like your comment then you'll get an alert so that'll bring you back to the thread just if you like it like i guess if they have that turned on so people are like please like this for me so i'll come back it's like very weird okay so anyway i must have screen grabbed a few.
20:53Kate Berlant:What's something that you've automated in your life? Okay. So let's see. And then it's always very interesting when you see questions because sometimes people like answer in a way that's like, oh my God, like people are, my brain, like the dopamine firing that was happening while reading this, right? I was like soaring with excitement. It was like, like, let's see, someone's like, I use vertical reusable towel dispensers for my underwear. Okay. Now I know that's never going to work for cable land okay because to you it's going to be about so you stack the underwear on top okay she goes new one comes in through the top i remove what to wear at the bottom slot i have three of them for the three main types of panties i wear so like thong whatever whatever they're like no more rummaging around in the drawer and i get to them all evenly okay i hear you okay someone's like my favorite has been laundry service it's totally worth it i'm like sure okay but i'm looking for the good shit right someone else are you ready this like I was like, yeah, right?
21:51Jacqueline Novak:Well, by the way, no more nesting bowls. I was clanging with my nesting bowls yesterday going, I can't live like this.
21:56Kate Berlant:Cannot live like that, Kate. It's over. I know.
21:59Jacqueline Novak:I know.
22:00Kate Berlant:Okay. It's a fool's game.
22:02Jacqueline Novak:I know.
22:03Kate Berlant:It's for display only. So someone else, I hooked up Pex tubing. Immediately I go, I'm so excited because I go, I don't even know what that is. I'm going to find out. I hooked up Pex tubing with an oil funnel that goes from the sink down to my dog's water dish so I don't have to pick it up and refill it at the sink every time I get it in water. I was like, genius. Okay. Someone else is like, an Alexa routine, play a romantic list, you know, whatever. Sure, sure.
22:30Jacqueline Novak:Do you know there's an ADD thing about sitting in chairs weird? Because I, I mean, you're the master. You probably know this. Like, I do. And I went to a jaw person and then I went to an acupuncture. They're commenting on the way I'm sitting in the chair. Which I don't think I'm sitting that crazy. but like twisted contort like right like someone's like well look how you're sitting right now i'm like i always have my legs crossed right i'm never just like supine open ready to receive
22:56Kate Berlant:god's will right i mean some of it is confused because it's like if they're trying to be like
23:01Jacqueline Novak:you know why are your legs crossed and you're like because i'm a woman and i was taught this you know like that's one thing right yeah yeah of course there's socialized posture yes but the
23:10Kate Berlant:add thing and some of the other things in that realm with the seating which i relate to to a certain extent i mean i'm in rock climber right now okay yeah it's like you know having a leg folded up like so i often sit in the chair like i'll sit cross-legged in the desk chair so if there's like a chair that's going to be my desk chair that i'm going to work in i need to be able to like move into all these different like positions and it's it's kind of like you almost it's almost like needing to be in an uncomfortable position because the discomfort of the position
23:40Jacqueline Novak:is like giving you stimulation so it's almost like a stim okay so it's sort of like you know
23:46Kate Berlant:i'm always like like like i'm always like begging chris to just like you know like i'm like like stand on me or like it'll help me focus like if i'm on my stomach on the computer i'm just like will you just like stand on my legs okay you know and it's like sort of like uncomfortable but like that's doing something so it's like it's almost like take the burden off me of making myself uncomfortable like will you just do it i mean the weighted blanket like right it's like feedback so like sitting almost like contorted or whatever it's a yeah it's like being in the comfortable chair suspended in comfort is like floating is not yeah so anyway it's um let's see make sure
24:22Jacqueline Novak:i'm going here back to add just really quick my son smock my son smock the drama continues look i go out for my neighborhood walk this morning to be in community look what i get I get a goddamn sorry we missed you leave it on the porch
24:38Kate Berlant:and by the way like they didn't like they there's something
24:44Jacqueline Novak:available no so here's what's confusing to me available for pick up date I don't want to pick it up this is not a$400 you know I don't know that's the highest number I could go I'm like it's not
24:58Kate Berlant:a you know oh I mean well I told you about you know what I went through Luckily, they left it at Bannerman's Bar next door.
25:05Jacqueline Novak:Oh, I know. And then we talked about it. Last up.
25:07Kate Berlant:But, you know, that's what you almost hoped for. Looking at a photo of my...
25:12Jacqueline Novak:I want to shout out the Shark Ninja Vacuum, which we were generously gifted.
25:16Kate Berlant:Wait, the little one or the big one?
25:18Jacqueline Novak:No, the big one. Okay, I got to get that.
25:20Kate Berlant:Yeah.
25:21Jacqueline Novak:Because it allows me to vacuum without plugging it in. I thought you got one.
25:25Kate Berlant:Well, I've been away. So I said I'll have to hold off.
25:27Jacqueline Novak:Today I was doing vacuum maintenance. Couldn't believe it.
25:31Kate Berlant:No, but I did a while back at their little one that I like. I've got the little one, too.
25:35Jacqueline Novak:And I was like, oh, one of these in every room. Why do spiders? Oh, yeah, I remember you saying that. Why do spiders? I was tracking a spider yesterday. Yeah. It was on the ceiling from 10 a.m. to maybe 8 p.m. What's he doing up there? I almost thought he died. But then to my horror, around 10 o 'clock, I look up, he's gone. And I've been tracking him the whole day. Is he laying eggs? Ew. I looked it up. Couldn't really get an answer.
25:59Kate Berlant:Well, I don't think he is laying eggs, right? Right. But I don't know. Wait, hold on. Let me just make sure I got this going here. Wait. We'll see if anyone else had any.
26:10Jacqueline Novak:You know my ongoing drama and trauma with my orange tree? Yeah. I mean, kind of. You know, I've been like devastated. I've been watering it more. Look. Look. It's producing fruit? Yeah. Wow. I sighed. The relief, I sighed. Being like, oh my God, I haven't killed.
26:25Kate Berlant:All manner of insult and injury, Kate.
26:27Jacqueline Novak:I know. I unsubscribed from Grooms.
26:32Kate Berlant:That name is like unbelievable. It was designed for you to say it. I know. It was designed in that way. I'm just making sure. Sorry, I've been a little sloppy with my audio. I'm just starting to, I won't lie. I'm starting to think about what, because I'm going to be ordering in because it's getting late. It's getting late in Scotland. And the question is, because I had the most delicious falafel wrap. Okay. I don't know what these people are doing. It is one of these things where I taste it and I go, God, I feel taken care of by a kitchen I didn't see. Arriving in a warm little metallic packet, just like a warm water bottle.
27:14Kate Berlant:But you know there's food in there. You open it up. Yum, yum, yum. I get one of their chili sauces or their ketchup. But it's their unique ketchup that you go, what even is this? They made it themselves. I'm going to have to look that up And then I'm going to have to decide Am I going to explore Greater Scotland This time Where's Loch Ness But you have to meet me in New York You would worry about that It's like weeks away When do you finish? I had my last show just now What? Jacqueline You're unbelievable Well I'm considering Today I felt bad There were a couple people in line okay okay and the pay what you want i'm going i was like tell them maybe i'll tell them to check my instagram maybe i'll try to add a show for anyone i don't know i'm starved you know once
28:06Jacqueline Novak:i'm on stage i like to stay there wow i know it's really how it goes isn't it this is the classic
28:11Kate Berlant:thing where i'm just looking up the place that i got the delicious thing from and going if i walked down the street would i have gone into that restaurant no meanwhile they've been providing most delicious like this is what takeaway delivery this is it is so it is so relevant can you imagine some of them knowing they're incredible but knowing that when you see them
28:30Jacqueline Novak:like you doubt me but you love me in the night yeah i know like if you saw where this was coming from fucking with the lights off yeah exactly it's like glory hole but for a restaurant yeah yeah is that what it would be yeah exactly what it would be yeah it's like i only want to see Another thing, my new lifestyle, 100 % beeswax candles. Nothing better. We've talked about it.
28:53Kate Berlant:I think somebody was going to send us beeswax candles and it never happened. I suspect we are to blame. 100%. Something tells me. I walked by a window twice now, seeing the same cat sleeping in their tree in their home. And next to the cat tree where they sleep, big ass basket of toys where I go, are there like 20 cats in there? Because there's so many goddamn toys. And I know, look, I know how they can add up. Okay. But there was something very sweet about it because it looked very organized. And this basket is just filled. So many. With toys. And it's like, you know. Adorable. And it was just snoozing in the sun of the window.
29:32Kate Berlant:And God, to be a cat napping.
29:34Jacqueline Novak:Well, you're going to love the watermelon video I sent you because there's like two little girls so cute with their kittens. And like, this is the thing. It's like a baby, a human baby, being curious about the cat and kind of like feeling that And like feeling the sharp nails and like recoiling. It's like, yeah, she's learning. You know what I mean? Right. Let her learn. Yeah. Let her learn.
29:54Kate Berlant:Yeah. Let her feel. I actually stumbled into a new, I'm saying it like it's related and it's not, but it. Bring it on. I stumbled into a secondary place that I wanted to try because I could see just like tiny little place called Dine Time spelled T-H-Y-M-E. It's right next to the place I go a lot. So I haven't really been able to get in. And I finally did. I go, I'm going to get in there and have a little something. before I go over my other spot. The guy was a goddamn prince. Okay, dine time, folks. Wow. T-H-Y-M-E. Give me a little lemon candy on the way out. He was unbelievable. Stay here. The whole thing.
30:25Kate Berlant:Okay. It was like something very special was going on there. And I was like, I wonder how many hags live here. I'm just looking up now. I'm just for fun. People under the daily dozen. Someone's going, I've been following it for years. I love it.
30:40Jacqueline Novak:Jacqueline, please send the savory oats recipe.
30:43Kate Berlant:I can't right now because - I'm panicking. I'm on the phone and it's on Instagram.
30:48Jacqueline Novak:Okay, got it.
30:49Kate Berlant:If you follow Rip Esselstyn, which you should. I deleted Instagram.
30:54Jacqueline Novak:Exactly.
30:54Kate Berlant:I can't redownload right now, but I will. I deleted it this morning. I've never been so hungry in my life. Oh, my God. Really? I am starving. I can't wait.
31:02Jacqueline Novak:I have breakfast, but I'm hungry. And I'm going to listen to my body. And I'm going to take that as a signal to eat. Good idea. But I just mean like I want the brownie.
31:14Kate Berlant:It should have held.
31:16Jacqueline Novak:yeah yeah i'm like i'm hungry didn't if it didn't it didn't listen to this i'm sorry folks but i am gonna reach out to silo and tell them because i don't know why the silo microdose gummies for a while i loved the way they made me feel but i was getting a stomach ache from them like clockwork every night and i was like heartbroken i was like can't do this but this is what i'm experiencing the house blend microdose listen to this one to three gummies they They say like start with two. I've been doing one. I'm a lightweight. One. Mood boost. Increased concentration. Giddy. Positive elevated energy.
31:51Jacqueline Novak:Enhanced perception of colors. Groovy body high. I am experiencing the increased concentration, the mood boost, and the positive elevated energy. Hence, staring into the eye of the fig. Right.
32:02Kate Berlant:Right. Anyway. I'm just looking at an article about the uptick in mushroom and psilocybin and the whole thing. and the therapeutic effects, but also there's been more calls to the emergency room.
32:14Jacqueline Novak:Really?
32:16Kate Berlant:They freak out. I guess. Or they sub-hallucinogenic doses. I'm also saying, is this the mushrooms?
32:23Jacqueline Novak:I'm going to send you this. This little piece of candle wax broke off. I go, it's a cock and balls. Tell me this isn't a cock and balls. I just texted it to you. Is it uncanny? To me, it's uncanny. Ew. I mean
32:36Kate Berlant:I mean you should have you know not preloaded and said what is this
32:40Jacqueline Novak:oh yeah you're right
32:41Kate Berlant:in which I've been like what is that beeswax you'd be like what does this look like and then let me try to see it like that I go a gun I don't know yeah then you go you know let's see microdosing can lead to some things but so can other things I'm not going to poison your experience
33:00Jacqueline Novak:no I mean here's the thing that you know Anything can lead to anything They said And you can quote me on that
33:12Kate Berlant:This might have to be a classic Short episode due to hunger for dinner That's all I'm saying Because damn When did I start reading in the night We have not been recording long Feels long because I'm so hungry I know I'm just trying to think if there's any snack nearby I think we got an email about someone heard that I was, they acknowledged my use of, of ARC and they recommended something, another browser. Anyway, my life has really been playing out on, um, on the laptop this month. I got to say the laptop is like my home. It's filthy.
33:51Jacqueline Novak:It's in the restaurants covered in. Okay. Listen, so here's my little desk area for the day. I'm going to start to do my work. I'm going to do a 15 minute Melissa Wood health I know I said I have a new girl and I do shout out to the Pyro app which I've been enjoying for workouts that also are like they're more intense than Melissa Wood I'm going to introduce just small daily motion even if it's small a little bit and you're going to send me the savory oats recipe I'm going to make that okay wait trying i gotta leave them with something i'm trying to think i mean we're
34:29Kate Berlant:too short we can't leave we're gone oh yeah okay we can't leave me i don't think we can't leave we just gotta hang out for a little while and like find like i think by virtue of us hanging out and doing what like we actually want to do on the internet for a minute we might find a way to
34:41Jacqueline Novak:something so let me just see like i love a full yawn into the into the mic into the mic fully on
34:50Kate Berlant:into the mic so it's it's late august we're actually approaching christmas now to a point where we it's too late to do christmas in july do you see what i'm saying yeah it is we're actually it's like christmas is on route folks looking for a bird bath if anybody has any ideas of right really a gorgeous affordable bird bath yeah now are we talking like a classic stone whatever yeah i'm open because what i'm imagining is i feel like you grab those at an estate sale if you've got the manpower.
35:20Jacqueline Novak:I got to get myself to an estate sale for the first time in my goddamn life.
35:24Kate Berlant:There's always a bird bath at the end, I feel like. I mean, I could be wrong. I'll check with my friend Paul. He'll have the answer. I used to be obsessed with like, but what do they do with this stuff that doesn't sell? Where does it go? And it's like this man picks it up and he sells it.
35:41Jacqueline Novak:There's always someone. I want to do a huge shout out. And guess what? This is overdue and I'm happy to do this. I want to do a huge shout out to Burrow has been a major no this is huge Burrow has been a major part of our life a major supporter of the podcast and I have to say Burrow they sent us we had Jacqueline's sofa in her Los Angeles home is Burrow
36:06Kate Berlant:and then Burrow sent
36:07Jacqueline Novak:wonderful shelves and then they Extreme Generosity sent me and I will be posting because I am doing some yard work because I want to wait for the yard to be complete before I, you know, am posting. But beautiful outdoor furniture. And I've had people compliment me. I had someone come over, someone very high end, someone who can afford the highest end of stuff. They go, I love this. Where is this from, right? Because Burrow, it ain't cheap, but it's at an affordable, it's not obscene the way some of this can become. Comes in parts. That are manageable.
36:39Kate Berlant:Yep. I was an early adopter back in New York City, folks.
36:42Jacqueline Novak:I have a gorgeous teak outdoor table with two benches that I love. It's really chic.
36:47Kate Berlant:I have a couch, two chairs. Phenomenal.
36:50Jacqueline Novak:And so just Burrow, fabulous. I'm going to go on the website and check out what else is cooking. Poke around, see what's new. Yeah. Yeah, because we were like - I wish I had gotten a bigger - Oh, we got 70 % clearance. That's always exciting. Let's see. We've got a big sale happening on Burrow.
37:06Kate Berlant:I mean, I was literally an early adopter. I discovered them looking up. I know. Because it was Dr. Couch was all you had in New York City. Labor Day sale. Yeah, Labor Day's coming. Wow. Because all you had in New York City, if you wanted to get a couch and you had a narrow walk-up, there was a thing called Dr. Couch where you have to pay for someone to break your couch in half, bring it upstairs and sew it back together. So burrow came in pieces. We hauled those sections up to – I should post a picture of the early burrow in my 71st Street. I've got the Dunes Teak collection.
37:37Jacqueline Novak:It is so gorgeous.
37:38Kate Berlant:Yeah, as do I.
37:39Jacqueline Novak:I've got the Dunes Teak table. I've got the Dunes bench. And I just really –
37:44Kate Berlant:Dunes and groons.
37:47Jacqueline Novak:Okay. Okay.
37:49Kate Berlant:Oh, wait. Nomad Sleep Kit. That's new. So I boldly went for the – wait, that's a new – I don't recognize this sofa. What is this one? But I boldly went for – oh, my God. I'm like, wait, is it no longer? Did they decide it was too chic and had to get rid of it? Let's see.
38:06Jacqueline Novak:Where is it?
38:07Kate Berlant:But my sofa, what I love about this sofa is that it always looks neat. because it's really firm and taut. Let's see what they got in the...
38:17Jacqueline Novak:I'm emailing them. Ottomans. Wonderful customer service. What? What? Nothing. Oh, this is new. This is a new chair for them.
38:28Kate Berlant:I haven't seen this before.
38:29Jacqueline Novak:No, I was just laughing at like... By the way, I'm looking... Folks, listen, ahead of the summer, this really seems like an ad,
38:35Kate Berlant:and I swear to God, they are not paying us. This is from the heart. Wonderful customer service.
38:39Jacqueline Novak:No, because outdoor, outdoor space. Now's the time. They've got this sale going on. I'm looking at some of this stuff, this beautiful teak dining set again. But this is quality. This is going to last. It's going to transform your outdoor space. We've got 70 % off. So now's the time.
38:55Kate Berlant:I mean, I remember when they had one sofa, okay, and I ordered it in the oatmeal. And I had so many naps with my dear cats on that sofa. Heavenly naps.
39:07Jacqueline Novak:So you finished your show. It's unbelievable. Are you having any kind of ceremonial dinner, anything in Scotland to like mark time?
39:14Kate Berlant:I'm thinking about going to Portie Beach. I'm thinking about a couple people, Portobello Beach, that is. I'm thinking about, you know, maybe now it's time to go in the classic ghost tour, the one that, you know, go at night for once.
39:27Jacqueline Novak:Oh, yeah.
39:28Kate Berlant:You know, I've only been during the day because Berlant insisted that she come along and didn't want her sleep cycle to be disturbed. So we went during the day. She left after 15 minutes. Wait. She was hungry for a protein bar and was not impressed by the tour, the acting. Oh, it's so sad. I do remember that. It's absolutely unreal. It's unbelievable. I would know – I mean, and I knew you at the time.
39:50Jacqueline Novak:So what happened?
39:51Kate Berlant:This is a perfect way to wrap up. What happened? Some listeners know that obviously I was very excited to go in an Edinburgh ghost tour because the caves, you go deep down below. So it is, I mean, it's, it's, you're beneath, you're truly in the bowels of the city. These places are haunted.
40:09Jacqueline Novak:Wow.
40:09Kate Berlant:And I wanted to go on one of the night ones, but. Oh, of course. Kate. Me, the fucking narc loser. Okay. I wanted to go.
40:17Jacqueline Novak:I can't interrupt my sleep. Yeah.
40:19Kate Berlant:Day. And I decided, well, we are going in the underground tour. So no light gets down there. So in theory. Yeah. This shouldn't ruin it.
40:26Jacqueline Novak:Yeah.
40:26Kate Berlant:We go. Kate's like rolling her eyes at the actor who's leading the thing. Okay. She's unimpressed by like the jokes. of our ghost or leader. And then, you know, it's classic Kate where...
40:38Jacqueline Novak:I don't remember even going downstairs.
40:40Kate Berlant:I don't think you did. I think you left before we actually descended. We were still outside.
40:45Jacqueline Novak:And as I say, I'll remember it was being outside and going, uh-oh. And being like, uh-huh.
40:50Kate Berlant:And being like, I'm just like, I need something with protein in it. Quick. I just need something. I need a piece of protein. Like, no. And it was like, I'm going to go. Oh, no. Okay, within minutes. Fuck. And then there I am at 11. Okay, I'm in like 11.15 a.m. fucking tour. Unbelievable. I'm so sorry. That's outrageous. But, you know, it's how you learn, right? You learn to keep your own. Like, I would now go, like, if it really mattered to me. I'm going at 8. Then I want to go. Yeah. Right? I would go. Because I need to be able to beat, you know, boundaries. I need to be able to say, if I'm at the 11.15 p.m.
41:30Kate Berlant:That's not what I want. And this is actually, I would argue, is how I felt, which is, you know, good, right? It's like, no, I chose to do the 11-15 because I thought it would be dark and it would be fun to have Kate. So, like, that choice. I made this choice. Oh, so sad. So I have to be, I'm okay with it even if she leaves hungry.
41:47Jacqueline Novak:I'm so sorry. For the purpose of the story, though, I do want to read, I just want people to know Jacqueline was not alone. No.
41:53Kate Berlant:Yeah. Yeah.
41:53Jacqueline Novak:I just mean that it wasn't like it was us and then I was like, I got to go. No, no. You had Chris. Yes, and another couple acts were there. There are people there. I just want to be clear. I named them, but I don't want to shame them for questioning how a ghost can walk through a wall.
42:08Kate Berlant:Okay, because I had to lay down the law and say, remember your quantum physics. All right.
42:14Jacqueline Novak:Wait, what was the second ghost I saw? I saw the first. Well, you saw the bust. Yeah. Did I see it recently?
42:18Kate Berlant:You saw one with like the buttons on his coat.
42:20Jacqueline Novak:Oh my God, in London. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Unbelievable. Incredible. And I wasn't scared. I've been talking a lot about ghosts on stage.
42:29Kate Berlant:You know, and it's amazing the resistance. Some of these people.
42:34Jacqueline Novak:Don't you think it's a sign that it was real, that I wasn't scared?
42:37Kate Berlant:I know it was. I know it was real. Because I'm scared of ghosts. Respectfully, I do not wish to see you.
42:43Jacqueline Novak:Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I said, no, I'm not open. Thank you. I want you to have peace. But I'm actually not. I don't want to engage.
42:51Kate Berlant:There's something that's very you about respectfully. It's like you drawing boundaries is very specific. I don't know. It's like it's good. I wonder what it would be like us together. Imagine if we were both sleeping in the room and you wake me up, you go, Jacqueline, Jacqueline. And I'm so ready. You know, such a believer, but blind, but can't see. Can you imagine? Oh, my God. I want to see.
43:16Jacqueline Novak:I want to see. He's right there. Maybe I could in that setting. Okay. I'm going to force myself to work. I've got a special matcha. I've got my brownie. I'm going to work for, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work for 60 minutes uninterrupted and see what happens. Work for 11 with a timer and see how you feel.
43:36Kate Berlant:Because once you're going, you just might, but you can quit after 11. Okay. Okay.
43:40Jacqueline Novak:Oh no. The email I sent to the borough person bounced back. You mean we have a dead? We have a dead zone? They're no longer there. They're no longer there. Our borough contact is no longer there. No.
43:50Kate Berlant:Well, now it's time to take their name, their full name, which should be in there.
43:54Jacqueline Novak:Yeah.
43:55Kate Berlant:And go find them and see where they landed. Because that's worked out for us a couple times.
44:00Jacqueline Novak:Sure has, honey. Sure has. Where they land, we land. Love you. Love you. Bye.
From the publisher
Reaching for archetypal energies. Marinating green beans village-style. Neighborhood bakers. Staring into the eye of the fig—frozen, dried, sweetened. Unhinged solutions, no more nesting bowls. A warm metallic packet. You doubt me, but you love me in the night. Christmas is en route.
🎙️ Rate and Review.
🌟 Premium Feed: Subscribe
🛍️ Shop Our Favorites: Shop My Store
👕 Official Merch: Merchtable Store
📱 Instagram: @poogpodcast
If you ever hear an ad during the show that you suspect shouldn't be there - please immediately let the Berlant & Novak ads team know at podcasts@wearebv.com
While there are strict blocks on certain ad categories in the show's automated ads system, **sometimes advertisers find ways to circumvent these restrictions**. They might categorize their ads differently or use unclear descriptions that don't immediately flag the show's set filters.
The ads team greatly appreciates you flagging these ads so they can identify advertisers who are gaming the system.
Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.