Episode 051: "The Poshmark Murders"

0:00Find your false staples at Quince. Go to quince.com.hags for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash hags to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash hags. Two best friends both alike in dignity. Nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. The hag divines when something must die. Yes, that was Poog. But this is huge. The ego loves to seek. But never to find. It was Berlant and Novak the whole time. Morning. Good morning. 9 a.m. Stay good mornings. I'll say this. I've been woken up from major yard work that's being done right now, like electric drill.

0:50And so like 7.45, they start drilling right outside. And it's so shocking, but it's amazing because it forces you up. Are you loving it? I was like, this is actually being forced to wake up. You can't sleep through it. So it's like they start drilling. medicine you required yeah and we're like oh and then it's like okay and it's now i'm like this is it that the alarm you need something that you cannot sleep through and then you're up right the alarm is a gentle nudge you know has been a joke for for 25 years right longer really 55 years suggestion i feel like in the 80s right at least in film sort of snoozing the alarm really became a I mean, we've talked about that, right?

1:37The rolling over, the rom-com, the rolling over, the hand slamming. Of course. It's like, have you ever turned off an alarm by slamming it? You know, like a slam? When I was in high school, I think I had the one with the button. But was it a full palm? Yeah, yeah, of course, no. With your palm, it's not turning off. No. It's one of those tropes. Yeah. Oh, so just, so yeah. So the waking up with that immediately having neighbor experience, I texted my neighbor, so sorry about this noise. And she goes, sometimes we make noise. It's fine. She goes, what? Wait a second. You're the source of the noise?

2:18I'm the source of the noise having work done in the backyard. This is laugh out loud. No wonder you. Yeah. Okay. Getting some pipes replaced. No wonder you. I was waiting for a, I work nights. You know, people are assholes story. You mean I love it because I'm the source? Well, you're not mad at someone because you're the source. This is hysterical. I was waiting for the like, these bastards. These bastards don't realize that they work in a town where people work nights. Well, I feel terrible. I feel terrible because they started at 745 and I was like, wait, is that even legal? I looked it up.

2:55Technically, they can start at seven, which would be completely inappropriate. I always think like they can start at five. I want to be clear. in the cities. Oh, God. It's not constant. It feels like in the cities they can do anything. I mean, you know what I mean. The 7 a.m. is legally what they can do, but it's not constant drilling. It's not horrendous. And this is what's so funny. It's 7.45. And then five minutes later, it's over. I go, so why are you starting with the loudest thing? Because right now it's silent. Dead silent. It's been dead silent for like 50 minutes. Anyway. Well, that could have to do with the order of operations of, you know, you can't fill the hole until you drill the hole or whatever.

3:30Of course. but I hear you. Maybe there's an issue there. So that's, that's the big wake up call. Pretty exciting. And then I'll just quickly say, cause after this, I have essentially nothing to report. Last night I made, um, egg bites. I'll find something in you. I'll find something in you. I'll dig something out of you. Sorry. What? Still silicone muffin tin made egg bites for emergency food. Really? On this, between the pancakes, the egg bites now. You are really with breakfast classic. Let me guess. Are they all protein recipes from Instagram? Despite being off Instagram? I made the egg bites.

4:13Thank God I screen grabbed. I haven't looked at Instagram once and today's day 10. Today's day 10. Not that I'm counting. And yeah, I did that. And I had them saved in my, I had the screenshotted, the recipe. I mean, the recipe is intuitive. Anyone can, you know, it's not, it's hardly a recipe. But made them last night. I just have to say, I went to sleep going, excited to have them in the morning. By the way, they're mediocre at best. This is not something. Doesn't matter. They don't have to be. I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to add more Parmesan next time. Unreal to be life-changing. It's just about an emergency.

4:52Yeah. I was like, it's just something. Because the new thing that I want to try, and I haven't started yet, the new thing, the thing that I probably know I need. And I hate it when people say this. Oh, no, wait. Give me a hint. You should eat before you have coffee. Oh, honestly. the coffee on the empty stomach. Oh, honestly, how dare you? Sends your hormones into shock. What? No, I find that offensive. I mean, we all, I know. No one, I mean, well, actually it's highly relevant to what's going on right now in this. First of all, you know how I like to get into the spirit when I come back to LA?

5:27Oh, yeah. These are our signature Target. When we moved to Los Angeles, we were at Target. We got two. I remember that. I remember that. Two Los Angeles, West Coast is the best coast, I think. And then the other one is something I forget. And we were like, but do you want to know what's going on in here? Because it's highly relevant to everything you're talking about. Are you curious what's in my mug? All right. You're actually going to be like, by the way, nice t-shirt. You're going to tell me it's not coffee? Nice t-shirt. Yeah, I'm wearing Berlant Novak merch. Yeah, the original drawings when we drew each other's face.

6:02now when when i sent that in to the merch company i will just say the idea was actually that that whole drawing okay it was going to be shrunk down to like an icon size because you know like shrinky dinks you know how you draw like not that well you shrink it down it looks kind of amazing because it looks like you have this oh so it was almost supposed to be like an icon i stand by it i'm just saying i think it's great thank you it's always a good idea right for the for the creator for the people behind the product to say we actually meant for it to be like this. Yeah, yeah. All right. You ready?

6:36Guess what's in my mug? What's in the mug? Saffron? No. Okay. This is in a classic taste profile of the morning. Classic, dare I say, 90s yet. Don't say mushroom coffee. No, actually, I forgot to add that. Okay. But no. Why? Because it's like - It's an adaptogenic blend? because I just, I inherently resent people who are like, don't need to do, or just people who are like, yeah, I gave up caffeine six years ago. And I just really realized I wanted the morning ritual. I wanted something warm. It didn't matter that it wasn't coffee. Well, yeah, that's, um, I think that's one of those things that maybe once the addiction's out of the system and then once total emotional detachment from every glorious association with it is gone.

7:25Maybe then, maybe then it switches. I ran into someone yesterday who I don't know well, like I'm not, but he goes, I haven't had sugar in over a year. And I go, wait, what? What kind of sugar does he mean? Let me guess, agave all day. He has fruit. He still has fruit. No, no, no. He still has fruit, but no, no sugar, no sugar at all. No table sugar. I think he, I think he looked too thin. No brown sugar. I think it was too much. Yeah. Well, hold on. That's interesting. But I actually have a lot to say about your – I was thinking about your fixations recently that have been floating up about protein.

8:09Now, I was thinking, oh, it's been there the whole time. By the way, it's – no, no, no. I'll just say this. Yeah. Ten days off Instagram, I don't care. Like, I'm not – I was really getting fed that shit. See, this is what I was going to say. I was going to say, I was thinking this morning as I was putting things in my mug, and guess what's in my mug is coming any minute. Okay. Okay. The answer. I was thinking, Kate is just, I was like, she got suckered by the protein movement. Okay. I was like, I know. I was like, she's, I was like, it's got to be her feed. She clicked on one cottage cheese recipe.

8:43It's my feed. It's my feed. And now she gets more and more. You live in, you live in terror. And then I was thinking, because you were talking about - It's also my mom though. My whole life I've heard my mom go, you need protein. You need protein. I've heard it my whole life. Yeah. My mom is very, yeah. She's always worried about me not having protein. God bless her. So, because then I was thinking about how last week you were telling me, I think you were fatigued. You were feeling fatigued, right? And then I go - Heavy, heavy weight of fatigue. Oh, I bet she's going, I need protein. I'm weak.

9:18Right? Yeah. Okay. so so so anyway who cares whatever and then i was like meditating on how why it's very like old school to think that just like eating muscle sorry and not not to be like you know plant-based vegan like just you know propaganda but like you know like the idea like eating a muscle would make a muscle you know what i'm saying versus the building blocks of protein which is in all sorts of things you know they love saying it and and i love hearing it every time they're like an ox or whatever they're like they're like an elephant i forget which animal they give them they're like you see those muscles he's eating grass yeah yeah of course okay so anyway anyway anyway here it is you ready so i am not fucking around anymore about cocoa we need it i forget why but i know that when I saw why we needed it the other day.

10:15Cacao? Well, you're not going to believe this. According to Dr. Greger, and I can't remember, maybe a year ago I read this, it stuck. I don't know why, that actually the powdered cocoa is better. Stop. Like get cocoa, not cacao. As in? As in Nesquik. C-O-A. Yeah, C-O, right? I forget why. Something about if you're using it in this supplement form. so maybe it's just is powdered cacao cocoa maybe i'm not sure no that's cacao or is it roasted whatever oh god i'll look it up later okay see this would be this would be nice we need we need the not real i'm not talking about real research okay we all remember you know that well i mean listeners don't they never saw that we'll talk about it later when there was a brief period where executives pushed us to have a scientist on board all right oh yeah when we were when we were starting to do poog they were like yeah this isn't gonna work you two clucking in the hen house we need to bring in a scientific my favorite thing about is when people who have clearly never listened to poog tried to talk to us as though like there's been a couple times where they're like they debunk health oh every time they do it uh health myths every time so what i'm hearing is you've never heard a single episode no they wanted to go bang they want to go knock knock who's there and then the sound of a door creaking open.

11:42Oh, it's another health myth coming here to ruin our morning. Oh, oh, oh. Have you heard this, Kate? You know, it's like... So research shows that actually, yeah, yeah. No, someone yesterday, the other day was like, I was talking about walking and then John Early was like, oh, I saw there was like a New York Times article that said like walking actually isn't isn't isn't good isn't good i was like well that's just not true i don't know what yeah nice try new york times i mean honestly that's a step something okay now now i also like the audacity okay i won't lie sometimes you do need to question the old models someone needs to say hang on you know what i mean yeah i appreciate i appreciate inquiry okay but we'll get back to the research of the cocoa oh it's just saying like like someone on board for the newsletter okay someone on board for the bonus you know or in the newsletter whatever couple of these things sourced and i'm not talking about i'm not talking i'm talking sourced like trash sourced like the screen grab from instagram not this is real just this is what i heard so at least no i once tried to pitch to a vitamin company i've probably talked about this rumor versus rumor research okay it was going to be on a vitamin thing because you can't lie and say that something is proven to do something obviously if it's not you can't say like valerian root for sleep there's very specific language so so my pitch was like rumor research okay both on the bottle rumor research shows yeah and then and then and then you hit the rumor thing like like you know witches have been saying for ages right yeah and then you got whatever the real research is and and because because let's get real we want both right yeah oh yeah i'll buy on a rumor anyway i thought that was huge so here's what i got in here i got basically nearly a tablespoon i think cocoa powder 100 whatever next up mocha mocha flavor what hideous right perfect amino powder in it goes wait that's next they make perfect aminos makes mocha mocha as one of their flavors of their perfect aminos okay interesting so in it goes what's the first thing that's in the cup cocoa powder okay got it how much like roughly a tablespoon a little less hershey's brand like what like what are we doing honestly sure but i think i mean because because interestingly and actually this is another thing for the researcher i've just hired in my mind okay and again not researcher i just mean go to dr gregor's site all the time okay and see what gregor said that's all i'm asking for here gregor said um you know so whatever sure but there's plenty of organic fair trade whatever whatever cocoa powders you can pick up at your local air one okay so do as you please cocoa okay or you refuse you want to be a cow me yeah no of course not i don't give a shit and you make this tomorrow.

14:49All right. Hershey's? I'm going cocoa versus, I'm like, okay, here we go. Sorry to do research corner, but cocoa versus cacao. Cacao, unprocessed. Cocoa, processed. See, these are the, cocoa's roasted at a high temperature. Cacao is wrong. Yeah, yeah. Okay, now that we're going research corner, I guess I will be, will be coming through. Hold on. Grigor. Well, listen, because this is propaganda. This is propaganda against cocoa. Hell yeah. Thank you. Cocoa heat destroys nutrients. What does? Sorry. No, they're saying cocoa is bullshit, that heat destroys nutrients. That's lower in antioxidants, lower in minerals, lower in happy hormones.

15:32Inferior. And then cacao, they're going, superior, rich in neurotransmitters. Yeah, of course. Rich in iron, rich in antioxidants, no added chemicals, cold-pressed, nutrient-dense. So this is all anti-cocoa. There's a study here. I mean, I'm telling you, yeah, he's like cocoa, right? and he's not he doesn't fuck around like you know what i'm saying like he makes you i fucking love cocoa my goodness delicious then someone read on a thing about metal contamination products blah blah yeah i have heard there's a whole thing with um heavy metals and cocoa cocoa and cacao all right well we'll have to do this later but the point is i love cocoa and if you've been if If you've been eating dark chocolate for the last 15 years, right?

16:17Yeah. Tablespoon of cocoa. Keep me on track because I'm not on stimulants for the last week. All right? Tablespoon of cocoa. Oh, by the way, it reminds me. I'm launching a community, maybe a reality television show, patented here now, copyrighted before anyone steals it. ADD only island, okay? Uh-huh. You're only allowed in if you're ADD? yeah yeah and we see how it all works out because guess what we do fine amongst ourselves oh interesting you know the crazy man is only the man that you know all right so so here's my cocoa scoop of perfect amino is mocha flavor okay okay i stick it under the curry yes okay i'm a hog okay under the curry it goes coffee there we go here comes the donut shop whatever do i want to get get vita boost back sure do okay remember vita boost that they i think it was called vita boost or Vitacup or something.

17:12They were an advertiser at one point for us. They were like mold-free coffee, classic Berlant question that it's, you know, shoe leather and sawdust. No, no, no. I know. Those were good beans. Vital boost. That was good coffee. So, you know, I've run out. I'll take more. They had decaf, which I was like, this is for like an after dinner treat. They might have even had half-caf. Anyway. They had good goddamn beans. This is a formal beg. And by the way, let's get a code and let's get a code now because if they're like podcast type advertisers. Life Boost. Life Boost Coffee. This was good coffee.

17:52I think Vita Cup is something else. By the way, wrong brand. I'm asking them to pay. I'm like, Life Boost needs to pay for me advertising Vita Cup. All right, hold on. No, Life Boost Coffee. I remember they sent those beans and they were damn good.

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19:21A Vitacup is something. Oh, it's vitamin infused. Yeah, no, no, no, no. I only need espresso beans, but yeah. I would just go in there. I'm curious. I'm just like, what happens if you go to lifeboost.com slash poog vintage? I wonder if it comes up. Oops. No, it didn't. Oh, my God. If it still exists. Anyway, we're going to get a code. We're going to get. It'd be interesting to encourage the free listener, dare I say. Mm-hmm. By the things we advertise. That's another form of support. All right. All right. All right. Take me back. In goes the coffee. Okay. Guess what? Yeah. I grabbed a little whirring thing, which I've had a few issues with.

19:59I throw it in there boldly when the cup's too full. I think I can make it work. It goes a few places. It's fine. Okay, now I've got a nice frothy thing happening. Sounds nice. And I take a sip. Now, is the sweetener that's in the Perfect Aminos a tad unnecessary? Yeah. Sure. But. But I'll take it. It gets the job done. Sure does. Hey, I've purchased out of pocket, and I'm forgetting what it's called. The night hot chocolate. I used the whole bag and just bought another one. Moonbrew? Moonbrew. Wait, is that it? Moonbrew. Was that sent to us or did we both buy that? It was sent to us and then I re-upped and we have a little, we call it night chocolate.

20:50We have a little, oh, you're going to love this. Guess what it says? Hot cocoa on the front. Hell yeah. Not cacao. By the way, by the way, sorry. Okay, but dare I say mug or tea right there, Kate. Mug or tea? Hot cocoa, not cacao. Wait, what do you mean? I'm seeing a t-shirt that says not cacao. Oh, yeah, yeah. And maybe it says hot cocoa. Or the cacao myth. Yeah. The cocoa myth. Yeah, so I'm soaring, okay, on the idea that we're going to get life boost back in our life and that everyone's going to freak out because this is a very authentic push. And then the advertisers are going to love it. We're going to become a life boost girls.

21:34Life boost girls. So moon brew, we were sent and you re-upped and it's chocolate. And is it also magnesium or did I fantasize that? Yeah, it's magnesium. I mean, I can look. It's, yeah, I ate the whole tub and I've been, and I re-upped. We've got magnesium glycinate. Oh, right. Okay. L-theanine, chamomile, reishi. Damn. And they come in a different plate. Vanilla latte, caramel chocolate, hot cocoa. I've just got the hot cocoa. What do they sweeten it with, if anything? There is definitely a fake sweetener in there. I think it's, let me see. It tastes to me, monk fruit. All right. I'm listening.

22:19We've got monk fruit. We've got maltodextrin. Uh-oh. I think it's probably fine. Citric acid, not the best. But whatever. What the fuck are you going to do? It's over anyway Yeah Look what am I using This was something from Product Corner last week I go I go Are you anti burning candles because of Endocrine disruption and poison because Burning a scented candle is so Fucking pleasant and such a godly Experience that I don't think I'm Willing well right right right Sometimes you gotta what are we gonna do I live in The world we live in Los Angeles Like right you welcome a certain amount of death into your home in order to have a home at all.

22:59Exactly. Wait, you're going to love this. Last night we're walking in Silver Lake down there's this little street. Locals will know this, but I had never really been there in front of it. In this little alley, there is a beautiful altar that someone has made. Oh my God. And it's like neighbors have put, it's really fun. It's beautiful. Wow. Electric candles, like has a sense of humor. Like someone put like the TikTok logo on the altar, but it's like huge Virgin Mary in the center, genuinely beautiful. I was like, and I'm not kidding. I go, I'm going to do an altar. We've been talking about it for years.

23:34In my backyard. Let me show you. Wait, that's weird you said that. Cause I woke up thinking about how in my New York apartment, I had this sort of idea of this doorway altar. Yeah. Yeah. You know where else they have an altar? Gracias Madre. I light a candle every time I'm there on the way out. Wait, oh my God. Wait, is that a new thing? I mean, not to me. I mean, I was there a year ago. Because my partner and I, you know, we're spiritual beings, and we really honor ritual and all of that. Having a human experience? On the way out, yeah, on the way out, I saw the altar, or like the ability to light a candle and write a prayer, and I go, and they were like kind of in a sweet way, like, oh, should we?

24:14I was like, no. It was too much there. I get it. I did it anyway. It felt too, no, I'm not, hey, if I had had one more Marg, I probably would have been on all fours praying. Or just on my knees, rather. Yeah, and I had had one more Marg than you, certainly, every single time I've been there. I had one Marg. Yeah, the first Marg lays down a red carpet for the second Marg. I had my Christian, my pastor's wife, one margarita. Yeah. And I go, that's enough.

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26:01But yeah, I woke up thinking about it because I had this, you know, this thing about mapping sort of spiritual abstract things onto physical things. So like I was going to have in my little apartment, a wall on the wall in the loft, the little tiny loft where my mattress was like this door, like this cave door. And then in my lucid dreams, I was going to go through it. You see what I'm saying? Build the sacred space like physically and then move through it in the night. Anyway. No, but the altar, the home altar, particularly because we're doing, you know, construction in the back. Yeah. And I go, I'm going to build a freaking altar.

26:37Yes. And here's the big question. What do you put in the center? Okay, here we go. Let's talk about it. I was like, this is really great. And like, I, this is fun to look at. You can imagine sitting back there with friends or entertaining. Oh, look at this altar. What do you put in the center of the altar? And I have an announcement. I don't know about entertainment. Well, I guess that, that's a, that sounds like a different. But it's in the back. It's in the background is what I'm saying. People would look at it. Right. Right. This is not your deep meditation altar. This is a little bit more of a...

27:08No, but it also would be that. I'm saying it lives there. And at the very least, someone goes, wow, that's kind of interesting. And then at the most, you're praying. I'm just wondering if the moment that... Okay. Private home, Cape Verlance altar. Does it become cheapened? When you are conscious of, they're really going to be blown away by that. Maybe we'll get a little one of these resting on there. You know who's going to love that? They're coming over tonight. Here, move the little figurine in front of the other thing, okay, in front of the TikTok sticker, okay? And then, and then, so. I just realized how to shelter it from rain.

27:41Yeah. So, so then you go, I'm just going, if there's that consciousness of sort of dinner party conversation piece at all living in you, I understand that out in the street, the shared community energy is, is brings you a different thing that you're, you're praying with a stranger essentially. But I'm worried that in your own home, this kind of, that's interesting. I think you like, well, maybe it's all the same to you. Like, I mean, maybe it doesn't matter and you're fine. I'm just saying careful. No, no, no. I see what you're saying. Cause I have like little talismans. Like I always sleep next to my bed.

28:18I have a couple little figurines, Like a couple little talisman things. So, but you're saying that once you have a dinner party and people are looking at it, it becomes tainted or it's no longer pure or. Not inherently that they're looking at or that people see it. Because I'm saying I'm being more babying like to you or if it were me. Right. Which is if there's a consciousness that people at the dinner party might. Oh, what's that? Okay. I just think that's going to slip in in the same way. It's going to, it might slip into a decor. I don't think they're going to see it. Well, this is the key.

28:58It needs to be hidden. They're not going to see it though, because it's going to be in the backyard. It's going to be in an area. I know exactly where I think it would go. And it's kind of like. Oh, I thought you were dining outside. We will be dining outside. But there's, but I think where the altar would go is kind of more, it's not out in the open. It's not like. It's a sacred grove. Okay. Yeah. And I'm not, you know, implying she has forests behind her. Okay. To be clear. I just mean if there's a little bit of a semi-obscured turns a corner, right? It's that. It's that. It's turn the corner.