Episode 052: "HARDLY RF LOLOL"

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0:22Before we go into the episode, I just, I need to say this to the group. We started Berlant and Novak six months ago, and this was a, you know, a transformative time for us. It was a real risk. We felt abandoned, not by you, by corporations. Anyway, we're not getting into that. There's no anger. The point is that the people that are paying for the premium feed for our show are the reason why this podcast exists. You keep us afloat and this podcast would not exist without our paid subscribers. So there are, you know, you don't see them, but we have, of course, people behind the scenes. This is a, this has become a whole operation for us.

1:01And the only reason we can continue to do this show. And the only reason we can have a free Berlant and Novak feed is because of the paid subscriber. So please, please, if you're able, consider subscribing to the paid feed to keep us going. But also if you're a paid subscriber, you're going to receive all different kinds of fun bonus content, including an ask us anything and access to product corner. We talk about the products that we're using that week. So thank you so much. If you are a paid subscriber and if you're able, consider$5 a month,$10 a month if you can, or of course$1 ,000 a year if you're a real freak.

1:36Consider it. We love you. Thank you to everyone who has supported us and made the show possible. Two best friends, both alike in dignity, nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. The hag divines when something must die. Yes, that was Poogh, but this is huge. The ego loves to seek, but never to find. It was Berlant and novak the whole time morning poog morning poog i love my podcast i love having a podcast i'll sing this at the end again i'll do it better i realized morning glow from pippin could be huge for this podcast and by the way i want buttons like a radio show never seen pippin where you hit a button okay yeah i mean you wouldn't have had a chance to and you know nothing against it We could get sound effects in.

2:25That would be – imagine having a button. I mean, I'm straight – that's the thing about morning poo. I'm straight out of bed. And then these clips go on the internet and I go, wow. But – I know. Well, I was – I mean, in this day and age. Okay. I mean, the puff, the sheer – the salt in the face from snacks before bed. Oh, by the way, you want to talk about puff? Because I'm going to come right in with something huge that I'm implementing. Oh. A new life. Wait. is it the shark thing no wait what's that oh no because it turns cryo and cold and i was about to use it because i'm no i have to wash all the shit out of my face right now or we're fucked for the next hour all right give it to me listen listen to me listen to me since yesterday i have changed my life in this way and i'm committing to a three-week protocol i cannot fucking even imagine are you listening i need everyone across the seaboard i need everyone to stop what they're doing pull their car over if you're driving it better not is it food intolerance related what caperland is notoriously known for not having but but no listen i am stopping all electrolytes i repeat i am stopping element i am stopping the salt are you i know i know i know that's why I said pull over.

3:48I mean, I'm scared. Okay. Okay. It's been so important to me, particularly in the last few days. Okay. Okay. No, honey, trust me. So first I want to say, are you talking about bloat? Are you talking about? I have been mainlining. Are you talking about something else? I have been mainlining. I have been mainlining electrolytes for a year plus. And of course, in the past, maybe every other day, whatever, when I'm traveling, as we all know, I love Element. I love the taste, whatever. I go, it's making me drink more water. And then I'm almost making it, I go, I don't drink water without it. That's been about the last, I'd say eight months or so, really hardcore.

4:29I don't know when it happened that I was doing them kind of a lot. And then maybe the last eight months, it's like every day, absolutely two packets a day easily. And almost then getting kind of braggadocious and like, I don't even drink water without electrolytes because what's the fucking point? Because if the salt's not there, then you can't absorb it. Okay. So, so, so, so. I was thinking the same thing yesterday. I was taking a glass of water going, what's this for? Better stop this now. No, I know. I've been going, I've been going, water's bad. Unless there's electrolyte in there, what am I fucking doing?

4:57It's scraping the sides. Particularly, I mean, filter the water. Filter the water. Once you're living that lifestyle with the AquaTrue product corner hag shop. And I've got my under the sink. I've got my under the sink triple osmosis system, which the water people who installed it comically never respond to emails. I'm like, hello. Okay. Anyway, the point is, the point is, so listen, life, we all know in this life, bodies change, there are fluctuations, there are moments. Okay. But I have to say the last few months I've been going, am I like, like, what's this? Like, I've been feeling puffy, been feeling, you know, you always joke when I say blow.

5:36Did you Google like electrolytes? No, no, no. So I was kind of, I wasn't thinking about the electrolytes at all. And then I follow this. Here we go. This, I know. But listen, I didn't get her from, okay, Instagram is fascinating. I'll tell you exactly how I found this one because I've got my influencers. By the way, the ProMix protein bar, which I've been eating, which I love, I got that from like some influencer I follow who has like 20 ,000 followers. She's not even big. It got pushed to me one day. and like targeted she's she's pushing sales she got right to me she was like i love that when i'm craving a rice crispy treat i have a pro mix bar and i was like what the fuck and i ordered like a box like a 40 dollar box i go i'm trying it fuck it and now i love it are delicious and i saw you eating one in front of me yeah and i go no it's a pro mix and then that same influencer is the one who had the flax meal porridge recipe that i started making and it hurt my stomach so much i pulled over to the side of the road and thought i had to call 911 and i texted naomi my coordinates I was like, I'm pulled over the side of the road here.

6:35My stomach hurts so bad. And then I look it up and they're like, yeah, flax seed expands in your stomach to the point of no return and it will cause severe pain. It wasn't – wait, just to be – it wasn't psyllium husk, was it? And you're saying flax? Okay. Careful, folks. No, no, no. Flax seed. And maybe I just have an allergy. But like – But was the whole porridge made of that? Yes, bitch. It was like flax seed. No, no. It was like flax seed with like a little shredded coconut. and like some hemp seeds, like whatever. And I was like, oh, I just love it. I just love this stuff. Unbelievable pain.

7:10Imagine having a bowl of those seeds as your – No, no, no. Imagine just the full seeds, right? In a bowl. That would be insane, right? Yeah. So like here's a tablespoon of ground flax in my growl bowl. Sure, sure. Sure. A tablespoon, not four. Anyway. Yeah, more. So then I was scrolling. This is a while ago I was scrolling. Looks like shit, but I think I need it. All right. And the Instagram and the algorithm feeds me this woman who is a Chinese medicine practitioner. She's an acupuncturist. I don't know fully the story, but if it showed me a video of her and she was talking about just like her, like walking, she's like, just talking about like how walking is everything and just like, don't freak out over working out, whatever.

7:53Like just walk, walk, walk, walk. And I was like, I like this. I can get behind this girl. And then she makes a tea. She has her own proprietary tea, which is like a digestive herbal tea, whatever. I started DMing her. Shout out to her tea. Dr. Stolberg is her name. And then I see - Wait, proprietary recipe or proprietary? I'm sorry. I'm saying proprietary. I'm just throwing that word around. It's just like she has a tea called Rest and Digest. That she sells. And it's - That she sells, yes. Okay, yeah. So I'm seeing, you know the thing on Instagram where someone will just be like, people are asking questions and they're answering the questions and stories.

8:31Right. Yeah. And it's like, what do you wish people knew or something or something like that? And she was like, I see a lot of abuse of electrolytes and, um, yeah. And she's like, we really don't need to be taking in that much sodium. I'm like, excuse me. So then I DM her, I go, Oh my God, I've been mainlining. She's like, she's like, well, did you say mainlining to her? No, I don't think I use the word mainlining. Right. Right. Like, could she handle the comedy of mainlining basically? Yeah. But I just was like, she's like, she goes, well, she was like, well, first of all, I would just recommend two to three weeks, cut them out, see how you feel, see what happens.

9:07She was like, the truth is our diets contain enough sodium to absorb water unless you're on an extreme low sodium diet. She was like, our bodies are getting that amount of salt. And she's like, people are taking these packets that have 800 to 1 ,000 milligrams of sodium. and they're taking them throughout the day and it's causing water retention. And yeah. So let's just say, yeah. And I was like, there is something that just intuitively sounds like, right. And then people, and then she did a post about it because people were freaking out and she was like, I can't believe how much like people really don't know about this or think about this.

9:47And they're like, well, what about if I go to the sauna? What about, she's like certain extreme athletes, sure maybe they need a supplement with electrolytes. She was like the only point, she was like, if you are exercising to the point where you see salt crystals on your skin, she goes, she's like, then maybe, no, of course. And then she's like, then maybe, but probably half an electrolyte packet. She's like, it's just too much sodium folks. So I'm, I'm implementing and I'm and I'm day one or today's day two of what is that pure water it's just pure water bitch I'm terrified for you I was so scared she's when because I also have a fresh box of my favorite flavor of the element lemonade which I bought oh and I was like god damn it I know but listen I'll pay for it I'll pay for it I'll buy it oh you're gonna give it you're gonna gift it i know no it's staying no i'll give you some but it's staying in the closet because i know that i will drink it eventually for whatever reason but who knows maybe i'm off the sauce i'm joking that's why kate that's why i said pay i think it's the only way it's getting off of her no no no the lemonade to me is like holy grail i would it's like that flavor right but that's why i said pay okay i can order some myself you think i would actually make you pay no no i would insist no then it would be strings free element by the way by the way do you know what i'm doing right now cry out to the face now what careful fat loss all right hold on fine fine that's all we're getting today well by the way i mean there's so much to cover have you tried this because i just want to say i'm not trying to whatever but these are ice ass cold okay this is a feature proprietary ice ass cold they are they're sweating yeah that's cool the under the eye no it's really cool yeah that's the shark ninja cryo mask but i don't even know but yeah i don't even know i'm taking this off because i mean look i'd wear this during the pod if it looked good stays i know the mask you know what we need someone needs to invent something to keep a mask they have a gel mask on okay of course they fucking yeah it just goes around the ear there's so much to say um i mean i'm sorry but i do feel like i maybe left everyone hanging out to make my own personal drama everyone's drama but what else is a podcast but my facial which i was talking about ad nauseum wait did you see my text which no sorry it making it oh no did you panic thinking like the text gave straight from the mayo clinic reasons that i'm like was that was that medical panic I just saw okay no no because I was laughing I want a Mayo Clinic sweatshirt yeah I was laughing okay I don't know though it might bring you it might not be manifesting in the right way I don't think actually you're right I think that's actually bad energy yeah yeah you're like my favorite stuffed animal my favorite stuffed animal is is the one you get at the hospital yeah yeah so I feel my home with those okay what my favorite text that I ever got from you was just was I hate medical oh because you were like doing tests or whatever you were everything's fine but you were having some medical thing and you were like I hate medical and I was like oh god I know it's I'm gonna say it again health is fucking wealth is all it's the only wealth because the fucking ground every day kiss the ground yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah wait wait but don't go back to your facial because because oh I know what you mean about me being like it's about yesterday i i think it was yeah because i don't know if you see how how funny it is i feel like you didn't see okay there's a couple that's very funny no no that's me it's me reassurance seeking it's me reassurance seeking okay so first of all in the most but but in the most like almost arguably to the abyss right you have to explain okay i'm going to i'm going to so wait let me pull it off first of all let me just say about this because i've had people, friends reach out.

14:00Can I get in? I hate to say this. She doesn't take clients. She doesn't take new clients. I weaseled my way in. Yeah. I've never had you, you've never gone to anyone who isn't already past their list. You elbowed your way in with charm. Okay. You danced your little ass. Okay. You fluttered it in like a little turkey with a tail. I know. Okay. And I don't just mean your physical ass. I mean your humor ass. Okay. As well. Your charm ass. Thank Thank you. Thank you. This borders on actually one of the funniest things you've ever done. Okay, okay. This actually almost is mushrooms the whole time or something.

14:38You know what I mean? Okay, okay. Okay. Do it. So Kate sends a video because what do we do? Sends it to our gal who edits our social videos. Shout out Kayla. Shout out to Kayla. Check out those carousels. Unreal. Okay. serious aficionado, that's not even the right word, of poog, okay? Scholar, whatever. Point is, Kate sends a little video because we like to, hey, premium, okay? Yeah, hey, premium, exactly. Send out in the newsletter, there's a post that comes with every premium drop, right? You're getting behind the scenes shit, folks, if you start paying up. And there's little photos, there's a recipe, there's a link to whatever, okay?

15:24That comes with every episode. Vulnerable video. Vulnerable video. Where we go. This is for the subs. So, so, oh shit. So this is a video of Kate and her facialists that in theory we're sending to Kayla, our social gal in order to do this, right? I texted to the thread for, for premium subscribers. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Yeah. Clarity. Okay. So, so, so, oh, right, right. So I see a video come in and, and to be clear, like, and Kayla wouldn't, wouldn't, wouldn't disagree. Okay. Like we keep it pretty professional on like with, with Kayla, this is not like some ongoing beauty threat or something, right?

16:02This is, this is like, no, no, no. And also I just want to preface for, for context for anyone who somehow didn't listen to last week's episode. I have been obsessing about this, doing this technique or this facial thing, facial, no downtime, whatever with this woman that my friend goes to, but I was told that it does involve a very, very low amount of radio frequency. And I've been terrified of radio frequency of it melting fat in the face. And so this woman, you know, is aware of my, cause I, cause I turned it down twice. I was like, I'm really scared. She was like, do not be scared. And my friend who's done it for years, who looks great is like, don't be scared.

16:38So I went in ready to do it since she's 19. You know, she looks great. I know. I know. Well, she also is like a model and is 27 or whatever. So, but, but the point is, so I'm in the chair and I'm, I sent a video of myself with, and don't you think one of my sides of my face does look lifted? Oh, wait, you're doing a lifted, not lifted. Is that what you're doing? Also, I'm also laying down. Wait.

17:05I'm also laying down. And yet, no, no, no, no, no. I see it, but something's up. We'll talk about that after. Okay. Oh, the eyebrow. I thought something's up. Your eyebrow. You thought the downsize was the upside? Yes, but it's because I think it's a fullness, a lifting where the other one is hanging flat. Okay. But also someone could say, look, I really carved out this side. Yeah, totally. So this is a huge question.

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18:49So just, just, just, this has been ongoing, right? Kate sent a, like, she finally does the RF, low frequency, whatever. And she's talking about it for weeks on the podcast. What would you do? What would you do? Okay. Talking about it for weeks. Okay. I get a text after, this is not even the one. This is where I'm like the Lexapro. I'm like, fill the Lexapro prescription, bitch. Because I'm up in the night looping. You have it ready to go? Well, I still haven't taken it. It's probably still good. Oh, no, but you have the bottle. No, it's still at Vons. Yeah, I don't have the bottle yet. All I'll say is, my God, getting your scripts at Vons, I got to say that's got a quality.

19:27There's something to that, Kate. It's actually Albertson slash Savon, I guess. It keeps changing. I didn't know you had that in you almost. Okay. To go to like something so crass, so vulgar. I mean, I'd like it. The old days, Target. Well, no, I actually, this Savon Pharmacy and Albertsons kicks my ass because they straight up, like it's 1952, have a lunch break, an hour lunch break at 12 to one where the entire pharmacy is shuttered. Union job. Yeah. And also, no, I go, God bless. I'm happy for them. Oh, that is a pharmacy thing. But I'm like, no, no, no, it's not. I think if I worked at a pharmacy, I wouldn't want lunch.

20:05It would just slow down the day. Okay. I don't want to go into it. They're open 24-7. Also, I go, when do people go pick up their medications? On their fucking lunch break. What is this? And I mean shuttered. There's like a metal thing that goes around. You go, we get it. You're not available. Yeah. Well, I think that's also like to protect the pills from people like vaulting over to steal. tretinoin a bunch of small girls trying to steal tretinoin okay yeah so but but yeah by the way lexapro reveal yes my doctor has been begging me to take lexapro for years okay remember we all remember okay the morning kate was leaving paris deciding on which hour train 11 30 or 12 30 and i was like kate it's time i was like it's time really sweet you were like i do think a little bit of lexapro with help with this because i was telling my doctor i go yeah i'm up in the night looping.

21:00I go, but who doesn't? And I go, yeah, you know, and she's like, yeah, just, you know, could really help take the edge off. So I've been, so I was looping about the RF facial in the night. Don't do it. Don't do it. You're going to melt your face. So then I do it. I send this short video to the POOG social thread. I'm sorry. I know you're trying to speed it up, but all I'm interested is slowing it down because I have one other thing to say, which is the first just comedic piece. And this is not what I was leading up to. It was just that right after you get the facial. Okay. You send posts in it.

21:29And I forget what you said, but it was in a spirit of like, look, I'm alive. Yeah, yeah, totally. Exactly. And I was like, wait, like you weren't going to walk out of the place ruined. It's more like, you know, long-term is to me the whole like, don't do our F it was more like long-term use, you know, like, is this really what you want to be doing for your skin in the same way that someone else might be like, you know, have some claim about some other thing. I know you said you saw a post where a woman was sobbing, but it wasn't immediately following the rf it's not like the fat falls out of your face in the office she sweeps it up totally yeah yeah she mops it up i'm scared again now i'm scared again okay no okay why but keep going keep going just keep going okay first of all doing it once okay well by the way bitch i felt the heat you feel the heat on your face yeah it's not hot it's like a little bit warm like other there's no pain you're fine okay point is but why are you so committed actually this is funny for all the anxiety this particular treatment yeah why am i doing it it's like it's like are you oh no i have the answer you're doing it to fill your days to have something to fixate fixate the anxiety i mean i mean versus take the stressor out then you have to fixate on you know like your basement with the laundry and is it gross down there or something you know some other no i think i think it's just like i want i don't know

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24:06By the way, the hideousness, right? Like, okay, it's 1950s. Okay. Or later because those women would hide it, let's just say. Okay. But whatever. You have a woman, your wife, whatever. She's gorgeous. Okay. Okay. And she's always doing her beauty treatments, right? And yeah, yeah, they're good. Okay. But you constantly see her in the home just like, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like I was just doing this like there's a face meaning hideousness of the faces made while doing like the beauty treatments. While washing, while doing it. You're like, is it worth it? You know, like, or if she was just being herself around the house.

24:41Anyway, so, so it's not a new take, but it is like, you know, the whole like unwrapping or whatever, what is it called in the morning? People do the videos. Oh, Jesus. Where they take off their castor oil packs. These ruin, I have one I'm going to have to share to the podcast. I think I've talked about her and it was like, and that's when I, I think that was what propelled my like two week Instagram cleanse. I was like, I can't let these people into my life anymore. It's like, I'm hardly conscious waking up. And it's someone going, wake up with me. And of course the joke is that she looks like unhuman, inhuman, like the amount of stuff all over and then taking it all off and the products and she's doing her little morning potion and it's just, it annihilates life.

25:21It's not life. We can't live like this. Wait, I have a huge idea. I mean, it's not a huge idea, but I just had a vision. Okay. Sorry. All right. Really shouldn't sell something like this, but I just, my face went away. You might have seen it. Okay. And I saw something which was just to the get ready with me or not get ready, but the wake up with me, whatever. Okay. And you watch. Okay. And it's all this stuff that's, that's okay. Now they're on their vibrating thing. Now they're doing their whatever. Now they're moving the limb. Okay. Yeah. They're getting the red light exposure. Now they're rehydrating with the, whatever, right.

25:54They do the whole thing. Now I just, I just saw my head and I've done, I've sort of done a version of that when I was like healing at my parents' house. Okay. Again, after, you know, whatever, back that, that time where I would meditate and work out, do the whole thing. But still, this is more, I was like, I had this vision. So one thing after the other, and there's this piece and this like, dare I say dopamine. Okay. Okay. We'll ever stop talking about it, but, but going through the little things, right? Okay. Now, what about, what about this? And then they go, and that's my morning. Right. Or they go, and now I'm ready to start the day.

26:24Okay. And you go, there comes the existential panic. Okay. Just, just imagine the video keeps running. she forgets to turn it off whatever okay her phone's still there right she's like okay now what yeah okay and then it's what what day if it's beauty fine okay but this idea that you're actually like like getting yourself like ready for what in this healthful clear state yeah yeah yeah it's like obviously getting ready to you know edit the video but well this is gonna lead me this is the panic of the of the day oh this is gonna okay but we still have to do the thing no no keep going i know i know the the thing things okay because i know you're reading wait don't bring out the book yet it's gonna take me away okay okay okay okay find your spot oh yeah yeah okay i'm just gonna quickly because and i'm gonna talk about this later but i went into a used bookstore i found some amazing books shout out to reverie you get spiritual and he used when you get spiritual and he used it feels straight from god i'm not just gonna drop this in we're gonna talk about later later latery reverie books book shop in echo park spiritual picked up this pima that I'd never seen.

27:29Oh, yeah. The Wisdom of No Escape. And just listen to this. You sent me the cover. Talk about Healed by a cover. Oh, yeah. I know. I know. You sent me, go, go. It's real. I know. I know. I know. The problem is that the desire to change is fundamentally a form of aggression toward yourself. The other problem is that our hangups, unfortunately or fortunately, contain our wealth. Our neuroses and our wisdom are made of the same material. That might not exactly be the thing I was going to read, but just basically. Is that? No, no. I have the other thing you were going to read, but is it Pima? I just want to make sure.

28:03Or it's Pema. Okay, because I always, yeah, I had Pema in my head. I think it is Pema and I say Pema. Because Pema makes it smaller. It makes it a smaller, like, cuter name. No, Pema is a much more, like, gravitas. It's almost like, yeah, you start with Pema. It's almost like you bring her in the door as Pema. Like, you don't overwhelm someone. You're like, read a little Pema. You got it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're scared. and then it's like yeah you're not the next level it's pema now okay okay okay okay okay so point is we keep it business-like okay on this particular thread because we got a lot of threads it's on a kiki thread yeah this is whatever okay it's it's like yep that clip's good whatever or whatever you know remove that don't want the magic going away okay and keep it i'm laughing because it is important context okay so it really is like like yeah like Like it's a very admin.

28:57It's a very just like admin. And so, so Kate shoots the video over, you know, workflow real quick. So quick, right? Just for subs, right? For subs as in for premium subscribers, right? And then Kayla, just, just admin. Okay. Needs to know what treatment this is for reference because what, what? Okay. It's just for subs and it's Kate going, all the video is, is lifted, not lifted. lifted not lifted okay yeah so she's going oh is this the treatment you got and have been talking about for three weeks in the podcast essentially so all she writes admin style is this is the rf right the rf as in the one you've been talking about for weeks and i know the entire context is is what she's essentially saying yeah yeah yeah kate kate replies all caps hardly rf lolol just to see that a minute are you serious this is like I was taken over by my emotions.

29:56I don't even remember. Okay, okay. That's crazy. Okay, no. Hardly RF, lol, lol, lol, lol. It's basically the beauty sandwich facial, but it's her special version. There's no name. Dot, dot, dot. Uh, what, Kate? Okay, literally re-explaining, like, Kayla knows, first of all. I'm reassurance-seeking. This is where I'm going. This was incantation to the self. Okay, but this was This was an incantation, okay? Okay. Kayla was brought into and just, oh, okay, gotcha. Which, very kind of Kayla, you know what I mean? Not to go, okay. Oh, my God. No, I know. Okay. Okay. She would never. Okay. Okay. Point is, point is, the hardly RF, LOL, LOL, to a room of dermatologists.

30:45Okay. It was, I immediately screen grabbed, you know, screen grabbed, cropped, and sent it. We'll have it for the subs. because we'll have it for the subs you've got it's like you've gotten to the point in self uh incantation you know you know self-assurance right where you've moved from nervously saying it okay to cackling right right you've moved to the no one words you're like you're like you're like place never gone down to the turbulence