Episode 054: "The Haunted Car Wash"

0:00Kate, happy anniversary. It's been a huge week. Happy anniversary. What a way to celebrate. I've really felt the love coming in from the community. Get ready. A lifetime offer is coming your way. Here we go. It's time to go premium. Hi, public feed. Listen, we appreciate you more than you could imagine, but if you've ever considered, you know what? Maybe I'll throw them a couple bucks. We have a huge, huge sale happening right now, only until November 5th. If you can make the leap to premium, I really think you'll be happy about it. What does the dear friend premium tier get you? Add free episodes, access to that locked monthly bonus episode, longer episodes yes you get the product corner segment at the end of every episode 20 off merch ama apps and the rest of the premium lifestyle you get access to some of the casual behind the scenes stuff we like to post links to unlisted videos just for uh for you guys of us at home a recipe an unboxing a video from a facial the things that we just do not wish to share with the broader public.

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1:32Two best friends, both alike in dignity. Nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. The hag divines when something must die. Yes, that was Poogh. But this is huge. The ego loves to seek. But never to find. It was Berlant and Novak the whole time. Good morning. Hi. Good morning. Back in the studio again. So good to be back. Out where a friend is a friend. You just write that? No. It's a classic Western tune. Oh, I don't know. Where the home fires are burning and da-da-da-da-da-da. Back in the saddle again. Back in the saddle again. I don't know it. Out where a friend wins a friend. So I did it again, not because I thought I was so charming doing it, but I was doing it so low a tone that I thought maybe you couldn't hear the melody.

2:21Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I shockingly don't know it, though. I have found... So did I tell you journaling's back? Okay, it's a joke. It's such a fucking joke. so I clean up my patio. I'm in the biggest restoration. All we talk about is journaling. I know. And every time it's the same fucking discovery. Okay. I'm just saying, I'm just saying I finally did it. Okay. After not doing your journal. Yes. And I go. Do your diary style? No, I actually allow for a mix of essentially bubbles and webs and going in different directions and little lists and whatever. But I've, I've, we're both working on our backyards essentially.

2:57Yeah. Mine shared space as a renter, of course. You have a very exclusive patio. My patio, I've cleaned it up for us and Boo, okay, the cat. And I'm making daily progress and I tinker. I get a dopamine burst from tearing vinyl off of an old sofa. Amazing. And then I do a little work. Yeah. The word first, I ride the dopamine. So I'm tinkering, it's heaven, right? Yeah. It's all coming together. Literally not until the space was clear, I was able to sit down with a notebook in the morning and go. It's real. So next we move to the living room. But look at all this. Quickly, of course, it becomes a to-do list.

3:36What do I say? Purchase. Leaf blower. Okay. Then what does that remind me? Purchase. Leafy wraps. Because I want to create these little wraps. You need to eat. Yeah. Because I want to get my anointed greens, right? I want kale. I want my anointed with vinegar greens because of the acetic acid. It's good for the arteries, blah, blah. and then and then I go Google best option Google best option? Yeah I want to find the best leaf blower Wait what do you want a leaf blower? Like a little handheld one Yeah clear leaves by the way nearly impossible to purchase one that's cordless they don't include the battery they don't include the charger Well your neighbors are going to love that No I know it sounds boring but when you're in the leaf blower culture you'll be shocked I was on with an Instacart guy he's like you'd have to buy the charger separately Tool only.

4:22Sick. I had to go. I had to go. Anyway, I'm really excited about the patio. It's hard to overstate. I've got more lights. Oh, I got spotlights. Solar spotlights. They offer colors, so they're going to be different colors for the holiday. Oh, that's fun. Uplighting, Kate. Solar's great. Do you have uplighting prepared? Actually, no. For your... Okay, and here's where I get you. For the holidays. I stimulate you. And for in general. You're going to want to uplight... Front of the house. No, uplight your plants and your stuff in the back to create atmosphere. Oh, wow. Overhead is shit. There she is.

4:51There she is, boys. Okay, overhead is shit, okay? You want everything low and glow. And then you uplight this shit. It's un-fucking-real. Uplighting my lemon tree? This is what I'm talking about. Can you see it? Yeah. I'm like, it's like being in a hotel. I didn't think that would be me. But no, you're exactly a hotel. And guess what? Guess what? It's a solar stake, okay? You stick it in and it goes. You put it on a little thing. So cool. At dusk, it turns on. It's so cool. Okay, so I've got that going. I've got a couple other, I've got so many solar things, solar candles. At night it comes alive.

5:27Send me your best solar. I want to know the solar items. And folks, it's Amazon. I don't know what to tell you. I'm not saying that's the best quality, but it's the best because, you know, we have to be real sometimes on this podcast, okay? Yeah, I know. I will not lie. I found a new sick addiction in the Amazon universe, which is the top, you know, you can click on the thing and it can go to categories, home, whatever. I never do that because it finds it, right? Yeah, yeah. But I go looking through there. You scroll way, way, way down to S. And this is not ideal the way they've housed it, but same day store.

6:01Oh, damn. Okay, you click on that. Now you're searching and you're only seeing stuff that can get to you that day after. That's so sick. Three, five, and ten. That's so sick. I'm going, I guess I do an hour under the, I do my solar under a lamp for a quick hour. I can have a glow on my night. You know what I had to get back into? My vibration plate. You really Oh well you know what I'm back into Because I had a little light RLS What's RLS? The other night The Chi Vitalizer Pro Oh yeah Kate you should get one just for the benefits I used my HiZoo the other day I can't believe I'm so jealous I want a HiZoo I gotta get back on my HiZoo I've used it only a few times It probably cost me like $35 a pop I think it costs$200 $150 something 20 uses, you're down to$10 a use.

6:53Okay, this helps. This helps. This helps. 40, you're down to five. Use that thing 40 times, it's$5 a usage. Okay? Okay, okay, okay, okay. This is good. Okay, 80. Okay, 80 usage. Okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you're down to$2.50 a usage. Love. Okay,$2.50. Okay, this is like a morning latte at a gas station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six years ago. Six years ago. Yeah. Okay. Okay, great. And then, I forget what number I said, that was only, that was near 80. Yeah. Right? Let's just pop it up to 160. Let's just go wild. Now we're at$1.25. Now I'm getting paid to use it. Almost. Okay, we're almost there. This might be Zeno's paradox, though, where you never get – no, you do.

7:31No, wait. This is Zeno's paradox. You never get to zero. Huh? Want me to blow your ass off? I'm trying to – actually, once it gets to lower than a penny – no, I think we get to something approaching zero. Do you remember when things would approach infinity in math? That was cool. Okay, it was a curve. But anyway, do you want to know Zeno's Paradox? Do you remember it? No, no. Boy, is it dreamy. Try it, try it. All right. Zeno's Paradox is really calls everything into question, okay? Can the camera see you? Okay. You're standing here. Okay. This is a wall, right? Don't know it. Let's just say you had different ways of, in order to get to that wall, okay?

8:17Let's just say you decided the space between you and the wall, you were going to walk halfway there. Okay. Okay. So let's say it's 10 feet or whatever. Okay. You go halfway, right? Now you're here. Okay. Let's say now you want to half the distance between you and the wall again. Okay. Okay. If you keep moving half the distance between you and the wall, you'll never get to the wall. If you keep moving half the distance between you and the wall. You'll never get to the wall. what i think that's it so so imagine so so so you've gone you've got there's a way that you just say you gotta walk to the wall to get to it you mean like like you you can't it's it's a paradox about it it that walking half the distance to a wall over and over again seems like it should get you to the wall but it doesn't because look you're here you go halfway obviously you're not there right now this goes smaller okay cuts it in half again yeah we'll revisit zeno next time oh but we announced last week call me ishmael yeah which call me ishmael colon jacqueline novak and kate berlant yeah novak and berlant yeah yeah remember because then you won't say berlant yeah berlant i say my name wrong all the time when it's berlant novak because it's a natural intonation so novak and berlant god you know what's happening i'm sorry my this woman who went to see what she's like you cock your head to the side and now i'm really noticing it i'm constantly like this jacqueline and i go like if i'm talking or i'm listening to someone i'm going like this i'm constantly going do you think it's a fawning instinct you know what i'm talking about right showing the neck vulnerability like my neck i go so easy this way and then this way i'm like ow really it's so weird i'm this is so natural i was just listening to you like this well that that's that's a common well it is a fawning sort of not to put a spin on it but it you're revealing the neck it's a vulnerable you're softening the self oh Jacqueline I need a high zoom well you know what you need to do you could do it at Artha okay if they give this pull it all get it all whatever via between the shoulder blades use that and then there's a lot of work we have to do on the neck or we're fucked every which way if we don't get the posture together.

10:40I know the neck is pulling the face down. The platysma? Every day. Okay.

10:48Okay, okay. Oh, but call me Ishmael, colon, Novak and Berlant, Reed, Moby Dick. Okay. Call me Ishmael. Boom. Sorry. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. What? Me working on it? This is very good to essentially you Just like It was amazing Call me Ishmael Boom It was like It was so you That I couldn't believe it Boom I go The podcast is called Called Ishmael Call me Yeah I'm really excited about that I just want to drop that again Yes we're open to sponsors To now Okay Yes Who sponsors that Nice Kaweco sport by the way I know that's I don't know if we've talked about that But you're She's got a Kaweco sport folks Unscrew it please I got this Flip it now It's called using it posted.

11:40What does that mean? No, put it on the bed. Put it up. No, no, no. Oh, you mean this? Yeah. This is called using a post. I've never done that. I know. I knew you'd lose your mind. Now it's like a full-size pen if it's on there tight enough. So it goes small in the pocket. Amazing. Don't you wonder what – here's a classic case. Sorry. Just a few things that happened to me in my bag. Classic case of what's in here. I decanted something. Jesus. Wow, I've never seen the color. Oh. What do you mean? I've never seen the color of it because it's always in there. Oh, because you know what this is. Yeah.

12:11You remember from the other day? Okay, because what is it? It's a jasmine garden. We all remember. You want a long one? Can I actually have it? Yeah, because I think it'll bring me back. Yeah. It's unfortunate it's not in the gorgeous bottle. They're not getting that. I know. It was essential. Okay? I couldn't do glass in the gym bag. No, you can't. So. Oh, I know what's missing. My notes. Look at me. Look at me with my head. Jesus. Oh, this is what I wanted to talk about. So in the old days, reading this kind of energy work kind of stuff, like reading Debra King talking about vectors and stuff.

12:51So possession, the most extreme. My jaw. Sorry, keep going. Everything's connected. Tongue to the asshole. The migraine. Back of the foot, straight to the eyebrow. Yeah, yeah. Fascia. What are the vectors? So it's like possession is the most extreme. Yeah. Okay. possession is the most extreme okay that sounds about right and then a really like bad vector okay is like arrow of energy sucking energy from you kind of okay from someone meaning you ill will or you know whatever this is kind of the idea and then less than that sort of light gentle vectors which are just the kind we form in relationships with other people like you're going to like and that's not a vector that's a energy cord or something right and that could be like a mother's going to like instantly do that for their child you know they're going to form that thing now sometimes that can become toxic sure so sometimes this is where the cord cutting ceremonies come in and you release the cord and you send it back like elastic right you know at the end you know classic energy hygiene end of the night snip snip send back what's not yours gently and lovingly back to the source.

14:01You know what I want to get into every day? Legs up at the end of the day. Against the wall? Against the wall, right? Blood, yeah, blood draining. And they say that that's like a nervous system, parasympathetic, sympathetic. No, it's supposed to be really good for sleep. So part of this was like, well, you know, you can ultimately, if it's like long-term, sometimes, you know, see it in the body, right? Not just clairvoyantly, okay? So someone's pulling me this way? Or, you know, one shoulder really high, and then someone goes, that's your, you know, So that's someone from your past for a job. Two jobs ago.

14:30If somebody were here, would it make sense if my head was going this way? It would, right? Or it would be that way. Well, it could be there. It doesn't matter. See what I'm saying? No, because somebody, the fashion woman was like, someone's here. And which way is your head going? It's going this way. Yeah. Because they're sitting there. Could be, yeah. No, they're not sitting on your shoulder necessarily. Yeah. Like, I really think the way that your body would respond to that could be either direction. Okay. But there was a woman on the news, okay, who I became fixated on after reading about this.

14:57I'd watch her and I was like, Chris. I was like, she has a vector. Okay. She like only reports like. Oh, wow. And I was like, someone's got to help her. Yeah. I know. Who's it going to be? Yeah. There's like, yeah, I just, there's something really. A reporter? Every time I remember the energy field, I'm like, Jesus, I forgot about it for fucking six months. What am I doing? Maybe for Halloween, you and I see a scary movie together. I'm ready. I'm always ready. I'm scared. I wonder. no you know it'd be fun but i set up the scariest way you could watch x particular movie in a home setting you mean yeah okay versus i don't think i'm renting you know what i mean well i've never seen the conjuring so for example it'd be like watching blair witch in the woods or something okay okay okay okay you're watching you know chucky in the in the doll store or whatever you know what i mean but but i create it or like certain times like you don't want to be against a wall or you do want to be against the wall while you're watching you want to feel behind you So imagine your chairs are in the center of a big room.

15:55So scary. While you're watching? That's scary. That's really scary. You know what's really sweet, though, that I saw recently? Haunted car wash for October. What do you mean for October? Like drive-thru for Halloween. Like they're turning their car wash into a haunted house. Fucking awesome. Is that genius? Maybe. And I don't want to compete with them, so we'd have to promote them. Maybe we could get another car wash to let us design a haunted car wash at their house. That would be my dream. At their house. Okay. Imagine. well i was actually thinking about it i was thinking i was thinking is this the year that i have fun and try to like scare the kids so first of all yeah okay see this is what this is the problem though this is why i think if i'm coming to your house for halloween coming to your neighborhood we have to time it right so because there's certain responsibilities i have particularly in my housing structures because we have so what i noticed is that the kids were coming by Let me guess.

16:48Later. 3.30? No, later. Parents getting trashed at home. I was out too early. And then remembering, oops, we got to take the kids out. But we got some trick-or-treaters. There were a lot of kids. So I have been hesitating on a skeleton purchase because, well, first I sent an Instacart guy and they were out. They were really tired. By the way, Instacart, you're on watch. Okay, you're on my watch list. Why? It literally will say three in stock or many in stock. they go to the store lies yeah of course so i i order a skeleton because i want it instantly yeah and and i go i can't wait and so i order a skeleton from lowe's to be sent to be brought to me via shift or instacart or something yeah the guy's there no skeleton damn i go do you have any other skeleton any other big ones no okay and then and then what do i get i get freaking cedar oil and like a roll of you know paper towel like the little add-ons i did that's all they have Very frustrating.

17:48What's the famous, isn't it like the Home Depot skeleton? Yeah, yeah, that's like beloved. Yeah. Yeah, I want, there's one on Crescent Heights or something. One of these houses on Crescent Heights. It's nearly like, it's like a story high. Okay, and it stands out front. It fucking rules. It took me a second to register. I know. I'm like, it's not two stories. Don't lie. Yeah, yeah. It's a story. It's a story in many ways. Yeah. Oh, let's do a game. So I was just doing it. This is to the side. Okay. This is straight. Let's do a game. Okay. Where we do a spontaneous. Okay, don't do it yet. But we're going to relax the gaze.

18:29And we're going to see what pops up in our vision in the other person's energy field. And yes, it can include. It's not just a round. Okay. Okay, should we try? I'm seeing something. Okay, hold on. Okay, with three, two, one. And then silence for 10 seconds at least. Okay, ready? Go. First instinct. I saw a pail of water. Wait, not yet. Oh. Okay, hide it. Hide it. Okay, wait.

18:58Let me just relax because I'm still self-conscious. Hold on. Talking about images that we're seeing? Whatever form it takes. How about this? Okay, you could smell something. All right, hold on. I see. Yeah, I guess we should go one at a time. The cross is a bit dangerous. I'll let you have me. Have it me. Well, I told you at first, this first instinct was like a pale, like a bucket of water. Just direct knowing? Yeah. Okay. Pale, blue water. And then I saw kind of a moderate, like a bowl, sort of shallow bowl, vanilla colored. Does that ring a bell? No, but here's what I want to do. If you're the psychic here, right?

19:34What do those symbols mean to you? I don't know. I don't know. No, but see if anything associated comes up. Both are vessels. And where, if you picture that bowl in life, does it go anywhere for you? Like my mother's. No. Cabinet? No, it's just an object. Pure object. What's the shape of the bowl? Soft like that? Kind of low? Kind of low. It's not a big soup? No. A ramen bowl? No. God, I'm hungry. And pale blue water? Or what's that vessel? Pale blue water. Nice, nice, like a bucket. Like a classic bucket. And what color is the bucket? Blue. Blue, blue. And there's clear water in it? Blue water, yeah.

20:07Blue water in it? Well, it's so clear and pure. That it's turned blue because the bucket? Probably. Okay. I mean, I like that stuff. Yeah. What am I seeing? Now, I believe the bucket got into my image because of you. Okay. I'm seeing a little, like, elf up there. Cute. Okay, pouring a little bucket or something onto you. Oh, shit. Maybe I heard you say bucket, too. Okay, let me clear this slate. Okay, it's clear. It's really hard to clear. All right, silence now. Okay, silence now.

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21:54Okay. Did you say what I see? I thought we were doing you. Oh, okay. All right, fine. We're back to me. I'll rest. Okay. Let's each have our thing and then we say. Let's find a spot physically on the body almost. I want to say what just came in. Okay. Do what you just came in. You do you what you want to do. And then after when I do you, I'll use my techniques. Okay. So I saw a red bird. Oh, my God. A little red bird. I'm not really sure what a robin looks like necessarily, but I like red robin. It's a company. What do they do? They do bottomless french fries. Really? Yeah, I've spoken of their magic before.

22:32Have you said Red Robin, though? I think I've said it's the one place I ever in my life. I think it's called Red Robin. Oh, no. Round Robin? I feel like I've never heard you say Red Robin, Jacqueline. And I go in there, and the indignity. I've never. I think I said it on the pod. Archivists will have to check. But. Red Robin? But you saw the bird. You didn't see the fries. No, I saw a little Red Robin. Yeah. Still. The point is, the indignity that I experienced, I was so excited. oh my god they have bottomless fries okay but if i have to glance at the waiter and glance down at the bucket and go let's get it going it's not really bottomless yeah bottomless you don't see the bottom shame free god did you ever go to the place in uh in new york city astor place or not aster place a little bond street b &b what was it called and they had endless mimosas and they served free banana bread with brunch my friend was a what's a server there and i would go there wait where wait oh bond street it was like bond street fuck someone find it during the blood orange days and blood orange was everywhere what do you mean i don't know i just remember thinking like there was a primacy of blood orange the music or the orange oh the orange yeah the blood orange mimosa um okay okay let me so what i like to do because this is when i get the most images for myself if i'm laying down do my own energy work on myself let's just say so i like to imagine a thick net of white light held taut as if on a a big um you know thing that you do embroidery on yeah so really taut okay netting of a mesh of white light okay or healing light or whatever.

24:14Right. And then I, I think I start from the feet as though I'm stepping through, through it. Like, like a, like I'm straining myself with that mesh. Okay. So I'll move it up through and see what, what it catches on. So I'll try it on you and we'll see where it hits. And this is the best way that I get images. Cause it's almost like I'm trying to just move the light through me and then things get in the way. Okay. Okay. So hold on. Okay. Rock at the ankle. okay on the right ankle i see a little a little rock at the ankle okay wait okay this is really interesting no don't say anything yet let me keep going on okay okay bear at the knee left knee teddy bear left knee okay cute okay hold on all right let me just relax okay

24:59all right around the upper knee i'm going to a friend's house growing up okay and the household it was very strict strict parents very nothing sort of like that you associate with you it's just not yeah so it's sort of interesting get there later okay okay let's see what's happening to be clear I'm not saying I have these gifts right the only way is to explore okay like me like going like at the crotch can't get past there's a wall joking okay but There is something in this sort of, there are these sort of, it's almost like I'm hitting a lot of bones in this sort of. Huh. Okay, wait. All right, down the center here, I'm seeing almost like a trickle of red, like, not blood, not, like sparkly red.

25:59Almost like what red glitter glue would look like. Okay, right here. but inside, right? Okay. Okay, then I saw like, I saw like almost like shoulder pads exactly but like blue kind of like like if a shoulder pad were made of porcelain. Okay? Okay. Like almost like a porcelain epaulette or whatever it's called. Okay, okay. Give it to me. Okay, now then I get to the jaw, right? And I saw like a wire like that. Yeah. Well, that's for sure. Okay. Possibly from previous life being silenced. Chimney sweep. okay yeah okay coming up on a year since i was literally deep behind the nose cmj from the chimney suite mr chimney don't fucking take your partner blowing the nose and and uh blowing the nose pure ass yeah okay the fact that i'm seeing a metal so similar to like almost the like headgear that's deep in the jaw here i'm seeing almost deep behind the nose I'm seeing like like as if like there were two metal bent like wires like as though that's hooked in in some way.

27:06Okay. Okay. Okay. Wait. Okay. We're past that.

27:15You're going up above. I got tingled. I got tingled. And by the way I just opened my eyes and something's changed. In me? Just everything. My entire. Yeah. Gaze, I shifted. I felt it. I actually, we channeled. I got tingling. I was like, I feel great. Thank you. You probably cleared some stuff. Now, if there's anyone with, ah, if there's anyone with real spontaneous, by the way, spontaneous toning in the home. So, Chris was like, hmm. Okay. And then I join in and we're like, ah. Without speaking of it and then we just move on. because it clears a lot vibrating the body from within you know i've been trying to do in the morning big belly breath it's so hard to do it's like the worst it doesn't feel like release it feels like we have to hold tension to get the vocalization and versus right yeah it's a different thing

28:23I'm still I still have a buzz on from I know in the net of light. Thank you. I know what do we talk about even? I get tons I get tons let's see here. So yesterday or the no four days ago whatever log okay log I go I'm gonna log the day see what I do actually. So I go patio and green journal okay because that's what i was doing you logged the day so i was starting in the journal so logging the journal and then i wrote because it was clear and calm i was able like much like i said to you another incantation to the self about how i need to make things clear and calm yeah then i next dash heading in to check the time and get the phone okay no stop so i'm writing down that i'm leaving the journal behind to go do something right and then i write in parentheses need an ipad maybe question mark right it always goes to a purchase i decided i need an ipad okay and then let's see now ha self-awareness okay to go consumer like that that was the last entry of the day that's amazing forgot forgot was that i was doing it and then restoration my solar lights up lighting is the new way.

29:35And I want your uplights. I tore off of my rental the vinyl sides and front lip of boldly tearing off the rental. Never forget, it's worth losing the safety deposit. Oh, for sure. Make any fucking upgrade you wish. What do you think about? Because I got news for you. Mosquito, you're going to be interested in this stuff. Okay, two weeks from now when your renovations are done, you're going to be begging for mosquito information. Okay? What do you mean? Just all this patio stuff I'm doing is going to get relevant when you're at the next phase. of what actually gives the skitos away going. I need an outdoor coffee table.

30:10You didn't get one from Burrow? Well, wait. CFR Patio. Why don't you talk to CFR Patio guys? I'm forming a serious relationship. I'm doing massive promo for them. See what they've got in shop. If you follow my instructions and send me your brown Jordan, I'll see exactly what it is. They might have a vintage brown Jordan in the realm. Oh, in the back. You need to smash in the back. Your brown Jordan's in the front. Mod in the front. classic in the back yeah so you actually do need to match the bro right yeah not match yeah but be in the realm of a teak wood a lounge yeah yeah yeah yeah you're my stomach the hunger do i have um am i hyperglycemic hypoglycemic hypo is what i think you're my friend self-diagnosing my friend tried to tell me that i was because i freak out so much when i'm hungry and i shut down it's like I actually can't do stuff.