Episode 059: "Pig to Poog Slaughter"

0:20Hi. Hi. Hi. I have been. I am good day, sir. I have been actually, I was thinking of myself as I was in the bathroom going, oh, I am a pig to the poog slaughter right now. Okay. Like I am last night in bed with my red cinema glasses on that, you know, the ones, the cheap ones that I want to develop. You haven't forgotten again, have you? Fuck no, but you're reminding me that I need my blue blockers. Yeah. So I'm lying there on my phone, but with the red thing, reading on Reddit about mushroom medicine. Okay. Yeah, bitch. And not even, you know, the whole psilocybin thing, you know, even bigger, longer conversation.

1:11But I'm talking just the chaga and the reishi, whatever. Oh, yeah. Because what happens to a girl like me? I hear these things, they start showing up in the aisles of Erewhon, etc. You hear people say it, you see it on a little chalkboard in a cafe, and you go, okay, okay, what's this? And then you sort of get tired of seeing it. And then you start to wonder, like for me, kind of like, what is that? It's probably something. And then like, and it sort of falls away. And then I'm reading Reddit and someone's like, I'm going to change your life. No. And, you know, and they're like, and actually, it might have gone from, I might have been on Instagram and they sent me there.

1:52I don't know. They were like, and then someone else piped in, Chaga, you're welcome. Like, you know, like, Chaga will change your life. Why? What does Chaga do? Reboot the nervous system. Can't recall. Okay. But instantly decided that I needed all of them. Right. Right. And then just today it was like, I should get it. Maybe look into that, get something. And then I go, oh my God, I tossed the mushroom powder just days ago going, let's get real. Which one? It was one from Re-Grocery. I just was like, it's been sitting here a long time. That was what I told myself. But they go like, it's everything.

2:35And I was like, oh fuck. And then And I was like, I'd want a fresh blend anyway. Let's get real. It's been sitting there for like a year. No, no, no. You want to start fresh. Speaking of re-grocery, actually, I'm drinking hibiscus tea I made from my dried hibiscus. We got to revisit our hibiscus journey. It's, wait, did your amla. Cold. Up here? My amla should be here any minute. Oh. There's actually a lot to talk about. First of all, and Jack and I texted you this. today I'm fresh off. I went to magic body spheres. I went, it's endospheric, endospheric massage, which is, I've learned the endosphere.

3:17It's like, it's a device that was just, that was, um, invented in Italy. But so what it feels like though, is just, it's like a million little balls that are rotating. They're little. Yeah. Well, you know, yeah, they're like, no right i was picturing sort of a big ball gum gum ball size and she is doing it's it's not painful but it's just like it feels kind of relaxing it's just a massage but she what got me is that she's like yeah you know she's russian she's like people come for everything from cellulite to they want to um you know for muscle tone blah blah blah and she's like but it also just makes you feel good.

3:57And that's, of course, what I'm after. Like, she's like, you know, she's like, it just, you know, feels because it's moving your lymph, everything's moving. She's like, I have a lot of clients in their 60s and 70s who, you know, are like, I have never felt this good. Whoa. I know. And so she's like, you know. Running the lymph through the pipes, getting it. Yeah, because everything's moving. Boy, does lymph have a spike in a chokehold right now. Doesn't it kind of feel, I'm so lymph upset. doesn't it kind of feel like yeah sure so but here's the thing of course it's expensive meaning two hundred dollars a pop which is holy shit yeah a facial you know yeah like a cheap facial these fucking days but two hundred dollars a pop she goes what she recommends is 10 times once a week for 10 weeks she goes if you really want to see what it can do once a week for 10 weeks and then once a month after that for like once a week for 10 weeks and then once a month for the rest of your life so yeah i recommend for for free uh free free feeders i i recommend a regimen okay of once a week poog premium for 10 weeks and then followed by right it's like i know i know monthly that so it's so it's wait let's just go get this down so but listen but listen three of 4.3 weeks in a month sorry i just have to do it so let's just 4.3 weeks in a month you heard me okay but listen oh so here's the thing so i have like a new pia pia's not hasn't been replaced but the the stolberg the tea girl woman natasia who has her tea just as i tried to let go of tea in the last couple months going it's now now i'm rejoining yeah i can't believe you're back but she said but listen but we agreed it can't be done i've decided i know tea's never been possible until now but listen something about i have that it's all about the pot.

5:51I'm convinced it's a teapot. So the teapot that I have glass, you mentioned right in the center, loose leaf, putting it in something about it, it feels possible. And then I put it in the fridge and then it chills. I have that same thing. Oh yeah. That's how I was doing my hibiscus. So then two days I've got iced tea. But I just want to say 200 a week for 10 weeks. that's roughly dare i say two thousand two thousand dollars that's two thousand to start and then 200 from thereafter let's just say i know so then i go what but here's the thing here's where i get crazy so this woman she posted today the woman that recommended again i've never met her in person but i have a you have a cute damn relationship she's fab okay she posted it and said my secret to reducing inflammation, speeding up recovery, smoothing skin, and encouraging lymphatic drainage.

6:44Today was my 10th session, and she was so right when she said each time the benefits build, my body has never looked or felt so good, truly. Wait, you mean that, sorry, sorry, your new person you enjoy following got magic spheres? That's who turned me on to it. And said she's never felt so good? Wow. She's not in bed. She's not getting kickbacks. But then I go, well, sure, sure, I'll do it. But by the way, here's the toughest thing, almost tougher than the money. The money is like, ugh. I was sitting there, I was going, oh my God, am I committing to this? It's in Beverly Cocksucking Hills. So you're looking at, call it, I know, call it 47 minutes each way for me.

7:30Like, do you know what I mean? Plus, but I have to say, God bless, the session was an hour and a half. Habit stack. I know. I was already thinking I do Spanish lessons on the way there. No, but I was already doing that. But I have to say the massage itself felt good. And then she has one of these really long red light panels. It's like the length of your entire body. So you lay there under it, you know, on their back and then on your stomach for a while. I nearly fell asleep. I was so relaxed. Wait, so you're laying on top of it? This is what I did. No, no, no. It's on top of you. It's on top of you.

8:02But it wasn't cranked up. It's hovering on top of you. Oh. Not below you. Right. And, and it is so relaxing. I was like drifting away. I was like, well, this is almost, this is more relaxed than I've been getting body massages. Wow. Well, if you love that, the relaxation alone, the benefits of that, I want to do light bed with you. I don't know. I got it. I'm questioning my Arthur membership because it was like, I kept trying to do last minute bookings and couldn't get in. So then it didn't work out where like, you know, I, I didn't make money on the membership this year, this month. Yeah. They're not paying me to get red light sessions.

8:37Yeah. But if you like that, I don't know. I'm just thinking about it. Just roll over there. I mean, it would require scheduling in advance. Fine. I lock it in. You wouldn't have to go in the super hot, you know, setting. $15 or whatever. But what do you think? Should I commit to endospheric for 10 sessions and report back? I'll tell you this, Kate Berlant. Okay. Kate Berlant. Berlant. Yeah. Bertram. What is it? No, no, no. Here's the thing. It's fun, right? It's fun. So yeah. Well, when I was in there and she was doing it to me and I was doing the math in my head, I go, well, this is kind of a hobby.

9:21Like this is like my tennis lessons or whatever.

9:27Yeah. I mean the money, the money, you know, people, people spend their money on all sorts of crap you know you know whatever right so who cares about that i think but i got my car from 2015 right paid it off years ago here yeah here's what here would be the thing well wait why don't you first lock in your something further down on the like even just like in the bullshit of the wellness efforts right you know what yeah okay okay it doesn't feel like the first thing to do It feels like something that people who've done everything else. I know. Or who's like, whose shit is so locked in that they're like, you know, I think the one thing tweak that's holding me back is like this lamp could move.

10:09Yeah. Yeah. I know. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I mean, at a point. Here's the thing. Yeah. Here's what you're also paying for. I have to say. I love today. Today I'm like ADD overdrive where I'm like, it's almost like the only way for anything to happen is I have to have an appointment and I go there. which is similarly why I kind of have to the only way I'm going to work out is if it's in a group class or like I know, like showing up going there, I go, okay, I'm going there I'm paying it, she's doing it to me, something's happening. Because you're going to like this, guess what she likes?

10:41The restless leg shaker mover thing for lymph She vitalized her motherfucking probe because by the way, folks She was like, I like that So now, I don't just wait for restless legs It sits on my couch, a huge huge beige device. I throw my legs in there. Would the whipping be stronger if it were on the floor? Yes. Cause the cushion of the couch makes it sort of a softer, but I love it. And I think it's also like stimming kind of. And I was like, Oh, what other forms of like, you know, I say to Chris, like walk, if I'm lying on my stomach, I'm like, stand on my legs. Like, yeah. Can you stand on my legs?

11:19It's like, it's the weighted blanket. It's all this stuff. I mean, we are really, you know say what you want but boy have we reached the pinnacle of madness I mean just you know just like oh I ordered I I dropped 500 bucks last night on a whim okay another long flume to purchase log flume not quite remember last week I went I marveled I marveled at the marketing that got me to buy that like scale that was gonna say half my body was compensating for the other half it didn't has it come by the way yeah and what'd you learn anything nothing oh i mean i mean sorry nothing not nothing i mean a bunch of info i'm not i don't want to hear my metabolic age today no no of course like you know i'll love it maybe in a in a couple weeks you know when i'm soaring but whatever it's like i i don't know i i've got this is why i'm a pig to the poog slaughter right now I'm I'm data well major meltdown discover whoa it was my glucose tanking yeah because I popped in the glucose monitor look mood I mean we can get it maybe it's a bonus episode I don't know but glucose and mood oh well you know me you got to take a look at that you I can't yeah I think it'd be completely acceptable for this like I mean you don't need a prescription anymore that that ship has gone where ships go um but prescription for what you know like a glucose monitor by the psychiatrist i mean you know like complete total whatever and then you i go look and it's like yeah you just tanked for the last 15 minutes you were in a dead straight down arrow it just and i wasn't hungry so i i am so about wearables right now i'm like i'll take any fucking wearable i can get okay i'm thinking multiple bands anyway what was i fucking saying oh i bought this thing last night anyway wearables my whoop leads me i am so i'm so in wearables but anyway the neurable it looks like headphones like this okay okay and it's like sensing brain waves you know the whole thing we'll see oh so but but i'm gonna drop something on you that i think will make you laugh and you can then share with the listener.

13:45Are you ready? Hold on. Live reaction video coming. Are you ready? Are you texting me? Yeah.

13:55I did that. Because by the way, by the way, by the way, based on a single text from you, the final Dodgers game, right? It's like, you know, I don't really care. And also like, fuck the Dodgers or whatever. Not the team themselves, but the powers, the people that own the team, like they haven't said anything about the ice raids, whatever. like again i've done the i know almost nothing i don't really follow it but i'm like you know the people love it and dodgers sure i have some attachment to because i'm from la whatever sure yeah so naomi it's like okay let's watch it's it's bottom of the ninth whatever the hell it's a really tight game so we turn on the only way to watch the dodgers game for free is to twitch so turn on twitch really and i've watched hassan piker's twitch like you know a good amount and it's like oh and then I and then I go we should we could we could watch a movie together so I I was confused about that you're just I thought I thought it was going to be we can go on CB2 together okay I mean we could do all sorts of things right we can do a lot of stuff on there sweetheart because I was just thinking like screen share right right but but I just think twitch is going to be huge for us for hangouts because a lot for live hangouts that that are for cocktail hours yeah it's interesting i'm just wondering what happens right now like overview i'm following no one whatever right get notified it's like bitch i'm trying to cast i'm not trying to watch where's my go live anyway not sure what's going to happen but but i did join i type in poob podcast taken not available someone's sitting on it if anybody would like to do if anyone's intrigued by by that idea uh let's we want to hear from you next up should we talk about the big get or do you want to wait in case you decide to get you know or just go for it okay basically do you have it though i want to see it it's still boxed up it's no it's downstairs but i I have a photo of myself in it for you.

16:03Okay, great. Okay, great. That I want you to send to me. All right. This is an early poog kind of obsession. I feel like this was many, many years ago. Yeah, and this will not be the photo that goes wide, okay? But they'll get much better video. All right.

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18:10so the v-light i've been calling it violet for years i i've been after this product for probably eight years okay whenever they first i was an early uh visitor on the website back when they had a single model you know the whole thing and it's a photo this is early days photo biomodulation you know i wanted this thing before i got the light path to wellness light path led from scott um begged begged a whole thing this is this is red light in the nose and against the skull to go straight to the brain i say red light i mean near infrared it's the 880 it's the 550 it's the alpha and the gamma straight to the brain it's crazy straight to the brain through the nose cranial and it has arrived here unbelievable i'll send you another photo okay and it's kind of oh my god it's terrifying right it's so terrifying it looks like something's gone horribly wrong oh it looks like a crazy like brain device yeah a head brace like a like i mean i guess it is Yeah.

19:22No, no, it's soft. I mean, it's not like it doesn't hurt. So I did a alpha session earlier. I got it out of the box, popped it on. And the question of protocol. So you were asking, so just what does it do? Guys, it does everything. It's like, guys, picture like a helmet. Picture basically kind of a helmet that has a probe that goes in your nose. Well, here's what I'll say. If you're on premium, you will have gotten your email today. With the picture. Actually, and if you got the monthly newsletter, okay, point is, yeah, you'll see a picture, okay, maybe a video to my unboxing, essentially. Unboidable.

20:03So check your email now, okay, it's in there, but, and what does it do? You know, everything, okay, okay, you look it up, you figure it out. It's obviously in the hag shop. Oh, boy, Boy, do I need some affiliate points coming. Okay, it's not even, I don't even know if they'll do us an affiliate. The point is, get your V-lights, okay, through the hack shop. By the way, I meant to tell you, Kate, you also got a shop through the hack shop. I know. Trust me, I know. Kick back ourselves, I think. Hey, why not? But I put it in the nasal cavity. I go, oh, yeah. And you're asking, is it the kind of thing you feel immediately or whatever?

20:40And I was like, yeah. And then I looked at the thing. It said four to six weeks. okay now that's tough of every day 20 minutes well i ain't ever happening fuck so i go at that point too i think my you and like it's like the stackables i was like when i was laying there doing getting the endospheres i was like okay i'm gonna do this plus i'm gonna you know plus the probiotic plus the meditation plus the the walking even you know it's like it's just fucking impossible and i keep going cut me off no i know i know i know i know i know i mean the stacking can be satisfying and it's like well for me there are certain things that i've decided certain devices are and this is why i think you need to incorporate more nightly television in your routine okay that is standardized oh what are we watching tonight not should we watch a movie okay because that's where the device work happens right right right you see you're sitting there you pop it on you grab the lima lima okay so i was thinking but i do always have the fantasy of um I mean, for a while I had the higher dose on our couch, but, you know, the couch at this point is a medical center.

21:48Yeah. Higher dose, the chief idolizer machine on top of it. A bunch of plugs hanging over the side. Yeah. And then my basin of supplements on the table. Yeah. And this is like, it's funny. It's like. The center. Yeah, this is how. Yeah. But yeah, it really, it requires the baseline stack. It is, the base of the stack is television. I think if you want to do any of the other things. Well, you know what I started thinking actually related to that? I go, maybe it's time to finally get a rug. Okay. Interesting. Now, you know, so many ways to go with it. Fuck, there's so much I want to talk about because you're talking about that.

22:29Shit. No, like there were like nine things that flew to me. And I was so excited. Wait, what were you talking about before? Obviously, the device, does it work? I wanted to say something about does it work. How about the protocol? Four to six weeks. Oh, well, one, I cannot get my father, shout out to the dad, okay? Yeah. Off the AG1. He loves it. Yeah, okay. Well, hey. I know they like to be updated about my father's smoothie at home, right? And I tell him things, and then, you know, sometimes, six months to a year later, he gets on board. So he's been pouring his apple cider vinegar into his smoothie.

23:13It's not the way, right? And his AG1 in there, okay? And the AG1, I guess they added a probiotic. So finally, he's hunting around. He realizes, I'm killing the probiotic with the vinegar. With the cider? Yeah. Yeah. Shit. So he's starting to make some changes. but he won't stop like he is locked in because of all my doubts about ag1 and you're getting one molecule of tart cherry and whatever and that tiny scoop and they're like it's mostly inulin or whatever he's like won't he's like when i started taking ag i stopped having colds i mean it's and again yeah i really am not encouraging people to get it okay this would be genius if this was if this was i yeah hey when i started swishing water when i started swishing water around in my mouth and drinking it first thing oh right i think that helped my immunity and then i randomly stopped without thinking and then i felt like i was getting something

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25:25Also, I want to quickly bust in and say, I got a hydrafacial the other day and I go, sorry, this shit is good. It agrees with me. The hydrafacial. I'm like, and it's of course a fourth of the price, a quarter, a fourth. It's a quarter of the price. Vacuum. It's a water vac. By the way, did you get your shout out Shark Ninja classic? okay yep shout out shark ninja fans remember me crying and then came um so shout out shark ninja whatever it was the stain the stain uh stain master pro did it did you where were you in the chimney sweep ruined my life oh yeah and now i feel safe because i go hey someone spills remember jackal when i was scared to buy the nice carpet in front of the in front of my holiday party well now i have that and i go well if someone spills i've got the shark ninja vacuum stain remover to just suck it right out out of the yeah it's a little wand and um we'll throw it in the shop for the curious it's it's shaped like a there's a little bucket with a handle and then it's a spritzer and then the other thing i'm pretty excited about it um i think it's really going to change life on the couch for me because i eat on the couch who can blame you things happen and you know a chip goes into some salsa and it's soaring towards my face i get a little i get a little overconfident thinking that the salsa is gonna gonna hold yeah um no actually this is like a heavy product right because it's like it's like yeah we got the shark ninja i mean oops we really product cornered.

27:03You're lucky. Okay. You're lucky free feeders that you got product names. Oh, look, I finally did the thing. I guess I could save it because there was something else I wanted to say about the V light. Are you, are you telling me? No, no, no. Are you telling me you're going to do 20 minutes a day for, is that the plan? 20 minutes a day for 10 weeks? god damn that sucks there are things that i get into well i really think my tv watching is going to support me that's true and you know the brain mood absolute you know the ongoing well butrin nightmares well butrin chronicles and they're through thousand months and i can't pay it and so i'm taking the generic unbelievable listeners now that doesn't agree with me oh and i don't know if I've told the listener, just if anyone wants to have a little.

27:57My doctor says, and she said in the past, but she never said this explicitly. It's not the same. Okay. Specifically with Wellbutrin, the generic's not the same. It's good, but there is a difference and some people have a problem. So anyway. So upsetting. Because I was like, well, the therapist doubts me and goes, it's chemically exactly the same. And she's like, well, you can tell the therapist actually they study that or whatever. So do your own research, say what you will, but I'm getting my meds from Canada and who the hell can blame you? Anyway, meantime, I'm going, you know, as many, as many, uh, I'll take any protocol I can get.

28:36So I'm, I'm pretty motivated at this time. So I returned from travel and, um, you know, trying to pig to poog slaughter. I mean, I'm just, I'm, I'm right now in a like let's do it all stack it all on why the hell not so i'm thinking chaga reishi now i'm also feeling desperate hence hence my excuse me my endosphere going endosphere endospheric massage what about your vibrating thing yeah the vibrating plate you already own it going do you can you not do you step on it every morning absolutely not i i step on it maybe twice a week I don't know how I step on it twice a week oh god it needs to be so I mean again this is the problem needs to be out do you want to live in a home like that I know no I can't it needs to be under something you slide it out it slides back in see what I'm saying that's kind of where it is it is kind of that and it's still hard yeah I'm just trying to think where you can stack i'd like to think do you try to get sunlight in the eyes first thing because my whoop asks me huberman tells us we gotta do it i know no it's the truth i fucking don't and sunset i like to tell myself that i do you're supposed to get sunset too apparently it's a whole different thing sunset yeah like the brain is like got it i see what's going on yeah yeah

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31:28Wait, I'm just trying to remember. Sorry, I'm fixated on mushrooms at this time, but I've always been a believer in mushrooms. I mean, it was, it was interesting that, oh no, I think it was on threads. It was on goddamn threads. I knew it didn't feel, I knew it felt text. Like I think I'm not sure what point it was a weird account and the account I didn't necessarily like, and they were selling something. Okay. And, but, and I didn't totally love the tone yet. I, am I still going to buy? Yeah. but maybe not from them which is interesting okay you know like they they got me but they didn't get me they didn't they didn't make the like you didn't go the the long they didn't make me choose their brand they made me go i'm gonna research and find a brand is there where am i starting what am i doing any any hot tips i mean all i know with mushrooms is that if you flip to the back it'll say it's like mycelium like some some shit is grown on brown rice and that's not what you want you want to try to find here we go yeah actual fruit it'll say like fruiting oh fruiting body is like fruit yeah fruiting body is what you want you don't want just the fucking powder thing that's that's the supplement game is really something the dirty game and it's gotten it's gotten too much.

32:52I was an arrow on today and I haven't been in eight months or something. And I go, I look, I've strolled out. I'll, can I help you? Maybe a little bit. All right. And I look, I look, I go, what's going on here? It's too much because it used to be, um, there's a couple brands that are fun and you go, Oh, that looks fun. Or Ooh, nice packaging. Now there's way too many yeah there's a million that all look elevated chic and like they really know what's going on what everyone's really done in a very powerful way is they've there's a thing i remember like early on do they still have this as their little tagline where it's like if it's here it's good for you oh wow which is just genius because then you just go okay yeah like there's this just assumption that definitely works for me so you're kind of like they've imbued every item that is there with this majesty that it feels like you can't really make a wrong choice yeah it's just it was uh it was impenetrable because it was sort of arranged by brand and sort of arranged by category do you know what i mean where you're kind of like i don't know this is boring me but i i went in looking for for something left with nothing like i was ready to buy mushroom powder saw saw a few options and just and was like i need someone else to tell me a story have you talked to a special so i think it was at the studio was it the studio city one i think i talked to an excellent vitamin expert at the studio city really location yeah who who won me over oh i vaguely recall at the sportsman's lodge studio city air one yeah yeah yeah was it that one i really want to remember it was good that's what i remember i remember going damn you're good i and And he really made me feel seen.

34:41And then he even, I think I made him feel seen because I was like, thank you for all the trouble. And he was like, thank you for saying thank you. Oh, yeah. You can see my jeans system sort of from where you're sitting. Do you see that that's a wall with jeans hanging? Organization. Yeah, do you see them? Yes, I do. One jean on one hook. Yes. It really works for me. I hate hanging pants on a hanger. I mean, like jeans. Like I just want to grab, see them all decide. Jeans I feel like really should be folded. You know, I think that's kind of. Should be as in what for their benefit? Or you just mean like it's just stupid.