Episode 061: "Sleep is Surgery"

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1:21Have you been too much on your own? I had a huge Les Mis week last week Never seen it to remember who the fuck I am. By the way, this is hilariously not an ad. I, Kate Berlant, myself, signed up for Cozy Earth alerts for sales. Oh, that's... Careful. I gotta get some more free sheets out of them. They email twice a day. Shit, I gotta be careful. You gotta be careful. Now, 10-year warranty, I go, fair enough. Okay. Fair enough. The silk comforter, the great silk comforter that I destroyed via rinse.com by basically sending it in for regular dry cleaning. I still blame myself. A company that covers your ass when you fuck up.

2:03That's quality. By the way, by the way, that's something. A company that covers your ass when you fuck up. That's a friend for life. Oh, by the way, speaking of brands, I took a Southwest flight. Wait, loved it? I'm dying. I've never done it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Well, by the way, the kindness, the Southwest brand. So I only do Southwest if I'm flying to the Bay Area to see my family and I have my whole life. So there's like a familiarity and a coziness. Yes. And it feels like it's a school bus. Like it's because, you know, there's no, it's non-hierarchical. So it really does feel, and I swear to God.

2:39Do you just get on the bus and find a seat? Yeah. So what it is is like, and this is chaotic. And in the past, I've really not liked this. It's like A through whatever the fucking letters are. C A one through C 922, whatever of like the order to get in and you can pay extra to have an earlier right boarding time, whatever. But something about the flight, something about the flight attendant, something everyone's just, I encountered a couple of flight attendants that were so jolly in a way where I was like, is this company taking care of you? Cause that's the energy you're giving. Like, Oh really?

3:13Yeah. Yeah. And there was just, and something about the logo, it's a heart, something that's so simple it just feels like the flight tenants are actually nurses like there's like a feeling of like holy shit like that they are prepared to nurture in a different way they are um it's the word not first responders but oh yeah essential workers you know like i feel like maybe nathan for you or me oh no maybe we're watching some of these things on reddit these like that plane crash in the snow where everyone like got off got off easy their crew and they're trained you know like yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly oh it reminds me Kate when I was flying to New York for Thanksgiving uh-huh I really meant to talk for this with you oh that's right you flew to New York the day before Thanksgiving that's crazy you know like weeks ago and we will be publishing a subscriber only the text I got from Jacqueline being like Jacqueline was in the car she was like head to the airport this was like in the early afternoon and then I get a text moments later heading back home forgot my passport change no I want I want to get that the actual text exactly right because it's so funny okay Jacqueline goes forgot I need my passport my driver's license no longer works for domestic so I'm switching to a red eye turn the uber around I remain completely unperturbed already changed flight once in the app it's so easy takes one second and I could just I know you I could just see you in the back I saw your face I saw you there like I I just could see you oh my god by the way we i've forgotten again and you know to see an impression of the self particularly when it's like never been seen by anyone your impression of me when i'm that you saw on tour but also then anytime oh my god yeah yeah taking care of business i mean it's a joke the eviscerating someone an email i mean that's like um also that i'm sorry that is like neuro d Okay, that is stimming.

5:07That is ED. That is, you know. God, we are so backlogged with shit to talk about. It's unreal how much we have to cover. I know. Huge year ahead for the podcast. Anyway, I was saying, I'm here. Southwest Airlines. Yes, yes, John Early, okay. Text him, I go, you know, whatever. Getting on a plane. He goes, oh, no. oh, Thanksgiving pilots are notoriously bad. And then he goes, did you not read the piece in the Times? Okay. Now I have this weird thing where we both know, okay, John, that is a perfect John Early joke, right? It's 100 % a joke. It's hysterical, right? You know this and yet, I don't know if you have this, okay?

5:50There's an anxiety that is like, I know it's a joke, but I need him to confirm. Thanksgiving pilots. Exactly. Or notoriously bad is so funny. Thanksgiving pilots are notoriously bad. Did you not read the piece in the Times? Yeah, that's so funny. And I'm like, you're joking, right? And then he's, you know, my preferred form of satire, right? You know, absolute realism, right? His jokes are so dead on like that, that at times I'm like, I'm unsure I have to check for anxiety I'm like you're like there's a part of me that needs to hear right now that it's safe that it's not real yeah anyway red eye okay now normally I with anything I book my flight not the day before the event I have to be there but the day before the day before right and that allows comfort and room particularly a show an event it's like okay worse comes to worst shit gets really fucked up you're not like fucked yeah i had to break my own rule because i was installing medicine cabinets until 11 30 in the night with a handyman okay yeah i got a text from jacqueline i'm i'm like ripping into drywall i was like i have a lot to tell you about drywall kate and i got news for you it's pressed powder oh i know how just powders away no it It is powder.

7:21What's holding it together? A piece of adhesive paper on one side. The whole thing's powder. That's crazy. You can cut it with a box. You can cut it with a box cutter. Okay. So I needed a piece of drywall to fill the hole where my recessed cabinet's hole remained. I replaced a recess with a surface mount, but had to cover the hole. Okay. Where'd you get the Madison in cabinet the bold look of kohler oh i got it at uh lowe's okay nice i had four trips to lowe's point is okay this is a huge event we'll talk about it you want to hear about the red eye but i'll save my you know i have a lot to talk about reno about you know shout out richard in aisle 36 okay at the mid-city lows wow i'm serious guys richard he's a plumber okay he knows everything oh he's a king he rules we're best friends i was soaring in lows hamming it up so fun like cracking jokes he's having a good time he's he's taking me over to a section that's not his section it's hysterical taking you over what's he doing with you in there you know to get the drywall right to go i'll walk over there you know it's fine you're buying drywall at lows Yeah.

8:36And then cutting it myself with a box cutter. What did you say? Fucking dyke? Yeah. It's, I am king of drywall. Yeah. What'd you say? I said, it's going in your file. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, Chris was like, um, called me, referred to us as a couple of gentlemen or something. Okay. Or called me a gentleman or something like some context, you know, where he could have gone the other way, but he, he decided to, to go gentleman on me. like you know you're like uh and i lit up from within yeah he goes i knew i knew you'd love it so so so true romance to be seen all right what the hell's going on all right we'll talk about my drywall another way i want to hear about the red eye i know you do i know you do all right take me take me there so so was there a vibe when you were like were they like happy thanksgiving like is it like everywhere like are people like when when you flew on the day for thanksgiving i just want to know was the air different or was it the same was there a demeanor shift were people particularly stressed were they yeah so you're picturing i feel like you're picturing what i always picture and i know this is the christmas reference but home alone o 'hare exactly okay and a lot of movies will do this holiday airport thing but it was it was completely normal okay not packed oh like just normal and then i mean literally thank you tsa um take tsa you know clear okay you're clear yeah remember we both didn't we both do it with amex together on the road mine mine um lapsed i still have the picture greased up with the with the facial products it pops up every time i do clear okay i see like me and i can remember us mine lapsed lapsed yeah i paid up because i'm through in seconds okay yeah of course huge bottle of mountain valley i send straight through the machine oh god damn it i see it going in i see it heading in my my esselstyn tote my gus esselstyn tote i thought i saw jane esselstyn wait what no i thought i i thought i saw jane walking the silver lake reservoir and i was like oh my god i'm gonna say something and then i lapped her again she was with two people was not her but it was the same type and i was like god bless her wait this is hysterical because i want to make sure because remember remember i invented an esselston and gus had to tell me i was like oh yeah you made up a name i was like no that's a suze esselston i was like that's a suze esselston classic yeah yeah anyway anyway anyway anyway it's a gorgeous tote that says like the like Like language is ability to...

11:14I'll post it. I was very proud of it. And I actually was going to get a photo of it with the huge mountain valley heading in. No time to stop it. Trying to say it to TSA. Yeah. You're going, oh, yeah, yeah. I let it through. A huge bottle of mountain valley in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thinking like it'll speed things along or something. Whatever. The point is that was... Anyway, when I flew... But I was thinking of you when I flew for Thanksgiving. I go, okay, it's okay. Same as usual. A couple of happy Thanksgivings here and there. Anyway, boy, it's a heavy New York experience at this time of year.

11:45JFK? Yeah. Oh, fuck. You've got to take the tram to Guam to get your ride? No. Why? You listening? Hold on to your own ass, okay? Curbside, uber black. Yeah, you got to pay, okay? But now when you get out to JFK, Terminal 3 or 4, no, 4, whatever the Delta is in Terminal. I mean, the classic JFK with the Dunkin' Donuts, which I did stop for. Yeah. What'd you get? I got a medium iced coffee, right, with almond milk. And again, same counter. This is JFK, New York, Dunkin' Donuts on the right, if you're looking out, okay, through the windows. And there's an interior diner that no longer is a diner that Chris referenced.

12:32I was like, oh, my God. Anyway, right over there. Go over there. I get the coffee. go, I go over to get my straw. I go, there's a phone, an iPhone resting on the thing. Again. You left it? Listeners may recall, okay? No. Last time I was there at the same airport, I think it was the time, maybe it wasn't last time. It was the time I was like, New York, right? When I cried entering that scene. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. If it's real, okay, I was so moved. Okay. Last time there was a woman, she left her phone there and I found her and said, you left your phone on the dunking counter. This time I go up, there's another phone.

13:09Now, again, the guy was four feet away. I go, is that your phone? Yeah. Four feet away. Still bold to leave it on the barista counter. Very bold. Anyway, I go, this is interesting. So, red eye. So, I'm there. I'm going, oh, right. I packed so light that I didn't have my normal bag that has my passport in it because I just decided to bring an Esselstyn tote, throw some things in there. By the way, the way that my Tom Bin is just fused into the routine. My passport lives in my Tom Bin. Exactly. Me too. I mean, and this is why. Hence the issue. Hence the issue. And by the way, guess what? Not that this helps anyone, but never had to pull out my passport with a TSA in the clear.

13:44So didn't need it now. Oh, fuck my cunt. You don't want to fuck around. You don't want to fuck around because who knows what's going to happen with JFK. No, no, you got to have it. But when I'm going and I'm rebooking or I'm booking, I'm going, all right, I got to, you know what, fuck it, let's take the red eye. It was so fun, actually, going back to the apartment, okay, being like, we walked to the Grove, got some sneakers on sale. at backcountry because it's closing. At what? Oh, back... Oh, no. Store-wide sale. You want a fleece? You want a fleece? You want a whatever? Because the rent there is$170 ,000 a month or something?

14:21I mean, they're not a mom and pop shop. How'd you find that out? Chris overheard it. He went like three times because he goes in there, gets some sneakers, whatever. He sees the sale, goes to the thing, then looks at his receipt. He's like, what the fuck? The sneakers somehow are like$30 yeah yeah and so then he's like i'm going back yeah back and then i goes back again with me i believe it i bought some sneaks anyway a grove trip in the in the day having bought yourself time so i go all right all right fine switch when i'm switching into the red eye i go let's just see what's going on here you know what what would it cost right i pop up all the way to delta one it says i make money back it says if you switch your flight you know like like i mean doesn't say oh change your flight and it's like all right what are your options delta one they're like you know it'll say like okay you know the cost of your original flight plus or minus whatever yeah it says plus 50 credit like like what i'm like why is it cheaper than my ticket no stop okay anyway point is i guess this flight you end up in delta one yeah jacklyn you're kidding no it's delta one classic now still chris and i going what does that mean you know like on the way classic They say Delta One Classic, and I think it's like not their biggest.

15:35Pre-pod. Yeah, yeah. No, but it's still pods. It's a pod. Wait, hang on. I have to take a second with this. You changed your flight, and you went from not being Delta One to Delta One. I went from Maine to Delta One and got$50 back. What is that? Okay, I go, this can't be true. This can't be true, right? But it seemed to be true. So what does this mean? Delta One Lounge at the airport. which is a fine restaurant Chris we get we're put into an elevator they press a button Chris goes this is someone with a soft voice he goes I didn't even sense a hint of doubt that we belonged in the lounge like when you walk up and they're like assuming you probably don't have the right credit card yeah of course like sweetie we go up and roll in I'm like staying silent when what I want to do is be like are you blown away are you blown away because I've been in this once when we when we were flown, right?

16:26And so we sit down, okay? Waitress of dreams. Yeah. Server, you know, she wouldn't mind if I called her what I called her. Waitress. Okay, okay. Comes over. I go, oh, there's no chargers where we're sitting because we're sitting in the outside section, you know, like. Yeah. And she's like, no, but I can bring you a portable charger. I go, this is luxury. What? okay i go it's unbelievable i start looking at the menu i go okay okay a couple vegan options i see you know okay i've got to ask about you know the nuts of course kate burr motherfucking land so we all know that i was shitting on delta right saying on the planes you know they're out of control with not having ingredients not having ingredients right of any kind of course the open bowl of warm nuts you know right you pay you pay through the nose for for delta one anyway so and it's still an issue like i didn't have the meal you know the first class meal damn due to a combo of that's vegan and whatever so it's crazy so i go um is the spice is the rigatoni is the rigatoni pomodoro whatever you know and the carrot soup okay that's listed as vegan in the lounge yeah i go is that you know i have a nut allergy it's not free she goes our delta one And she goes, our kitchen is not free.

17:54Stop. Did you start crying instantly? Okay. I, she goes, yeah, it was just, you know, we were just like, she's like, the only thing is there are milks that if you want to order a latte, there are options like an almond milk or whatever. Okay. We have no problem with that. We have no problem with that. Okay. Are you freaking kidding? So we go, you know, two carrot soups. Okay. Okay. Like we were able to order these vegan options. Freely. freely. It was the meal of a lifetime. I see these two guys across the way. One of them is clearly drinking espresso martini. I go, espresso martini, espresso martini.

18:29I go, you know what? I actually hear him finish his espresso martini while I'm ordering and then order what his friend's having. I go, why am I getting espresso martini? That's stupid. You know what? It's not what I want. I go, on our way out, I go, you know what? Dirty martini. Grey Goose or Tito's? Grey Goose, I say. Wow. I was I was like fuck this is good you know what I mean I was like damn we gotta we gotta make this podcast a hit because I need I know no no every time every time it happens whenever you are in a first it's like I will you you see how the wealth criminals how they destroy nations and the earth because they're like, they get a taste.

19:16They get a taste. Absolute power. Wow.

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21:06Wow. Oh, wow. I glanced to the left of me. Chris, once we're on the plane, right? Chris is gone, right? I go, what the hell? Okay, and then I see he's slipped into an abyss. Lap dance in the champagne room. Okay. No, he slipped into an abyss. This is on the plane, okay? He slipped into an abyss because I realized, oh, he's gone lie flat. Wow, he's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's sinking away. Okay, I literally did double take. Chris? Okay. Yeah, yeah. He's down there. He's flat. I realized he's flat, but no pillow. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Get the pillow. I get the pillow. Find the pillow.

21:37The struggle's over. There should be a banner when you go into Delta Lounge. The struggle's over. I told you, I know I've talked about on the pod about when Naomi was being flown Delta One and I was back and then I came and sat in their lap for like an hour and a half. We've talked about this. Back? I was back in stowage. Stowage? Stowage? Steerage. Steerage. Jesus, this isn't happening. This is scary. A stowaway. Stowaway. I mean, stew is obvious. You're eating rule down there if you're eating anything. I was like, sewage? Yeah. No, I had to have talked about that when I came and sat in their lap.

22:15Lap? Lap. I literally came and sat on Naomi's lap. In stewage? No, they were in Delta One. I disappeared. Oh, you did. Of course. And I got into their pod. We snuggled. It was so fun, yeah. This is classic. We talked about sideways on a lap. Yeah. It's like, because I was like, sideways? or cowgirl. Or full. Yeah, yeah. Reverse cowgirl. Yeah. Right, right. Reverse cowgirl is what I meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reverse cowgirl is like Munchausen by Proxy, where the second one has become almost... More than cowgirl. All right, sorry. Then I refer to it as cowgirl. I just remember, I know this is like hack to talk about, but sex tips from Cosmopolitan Magazine.

22:57Of course. And I just remembered reading one when I was like, you know, 15, and it was talking about reverse cowgirl, and it was like, pull his toe while you're in reverse cowgirl i know i was like and even i knew as a never been kissed virgin 15 i was like that's not doing shit literally pull his toe as in i'll never forget pull his toe and then there was also a sex tip lick eyelids lick his eyelids i was like ew fucking ew okay first of all that's funny i have to break through with a detail about an origin story of my life which i feel which i've never talked about on the pod and you don't know a detail that I feel like really sets the scene.

23:36Tell me now. So when my mother was pregnant with me, my parents, they frequented very regularly in a local Italian restaurant. You might know this. I just, I can't believe this is real. And I confirmed with my mom, is this real? I don't know it. I would know this. I would never forget this. I was like, is this real? Did I make this up? She goes, it's fucking real. My mother gives birth to me at the hospital. Who shows up with flowers? The waiter from the Italian restaurant, Oscar. No. So you might ask how. So apparently my parents were such regular. Shows up where? What? At the hospital. No. Okay.

24:12Okay. Okay. Like family and friends aren't even there. I thought it can't be true. No one's there except Oscar with flowers. So, and my mom's like, oh my God. So my parents were such regulars at this restaurant. Your father's in the lobby drinking whiskey with Don Draper. Okay. Exactly. And my parents were constantly there. Oscar always made a big deal about my mom and her being pregnant and whatever. And then my dad's, my uncle, my dad's best friend, who I call uncle, whatever. My uncle Ed is at the restaurant. And Oscar's like, where's Tony? Where's Helen? And Ed's like, they're at the hospital, actually.

24:46She's giving birth right now or whatever. He goes to the hospital, gets flowers, goes to the hospital. Does that not set the stage for me? Of course it does. Yeah. the need for the personal relationship with I mean it just makes a lot of sense from an archetypal incarnational standpoint I know you entered through through the kitchen so to speak yeah you entered right through the kitchen it's like in my blood it's so great wow that's beautiful shout out to speaking of shout out to Sogo shout out to Sogo sushi and you know where is it it's essentially it's where Hollywood Silver Lake and Los Feliz freaking converge.

25:35Wait sushi? Yeah Sogo but by the way babe. I thought you said Italian restaurant did I just go there? No I'm literally I'm rapidly jumping to a different topic. Great. That was Italian that was Romano's which is gone Romano's it's gone but I just wanted to say I was thinking about restaurants and I was thinking about Sogo which has vegan options for you. God, it's great. Okay. I'm just remembering the Italian restaurant that we would go to nightly in London.

26:07After the show, the one I found, stumbled into, it was unreal. I'm shaving coconut cheese. I need a big Italian meal. Oh my God. So the rigatoni comes. Okay. Oh yeah. I was like, how do I up it from moaning? Because I was going to text you like moaning. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Rocking back and forth. And moaning is you fundamentally. Because I was thinking I was going deeper. I was going because dining with you, you know, I'll go. Well, that's usually when it's arriving. I go. Huge smile when they're setting it down before me like a dog. OK. Yeah. But I'm like, what am I doing?

26:41It was like, you know, like, like, like that chewy quality of pasta. It's just when it is so. When it's unctuous. Yeah. It was perfectly spicy. Exactly. Wow. Wow. Okay. When they nail the spice level. I'm drinking a martini. I go, this isn't real. I took photos. I got this. It was the most delicious meal I've ever. Oh, I hand her the menu going like we could never ask for more, right? She goes, why don't you hold on to the menu in case you want something else? I go, oh my God. Okay. So a little while after, we're waiting. We still got time. We've digested, whatever. I go, I get a couple orders of fries.

27:19I was hoping you were going to get fries. I go, with ketchup and mustard. Almost. You know that I like ketchup and mustard with my fries. I like ketchup, mustard, and mayo. I do my trifecta. Oh, right. The Holy Trinity. Wow. I'm making, again, jumping wildly from topic to topic, but I make Alison Roman's new cookbook, Something from Nothing, which is simply fantastic. Oh, yeah. Drop it in the hang shop now. Oh, yeah. And it's so gorgeous. And by the way, what's a real thrill about it, and this is like what the book is, but you really can just open to a page and go, oh my God, likely I have all these ingredients already in my home.

27:54Damn. Like that's the whole idea. Wait, have I alerted you that I have made, based alone on you talking about, you telling me verbally the secret, the pasta salad, right? Hers. Has led, in the quick pickling. Yes. Yeah. And sun-dried tomato has led to me spontaneously, you know, utilizing those ingredients without thought in my instant pot. Okay, so I got the capers lying around. I picked up some sun-dried tomatoes, okay? What else did I throw in there? Just made a pasta but brought in a sun-dried tomato, brought it through all of the... Yeah, I like sour tangs, okay? You know, the amatriciani we talk about.

28:35So I'm like loading it up. One day I went too far, okay? The pickled, with the onion, because I literally got a full pickled onion. I know that's different. I know that's not what it is. It's been a quick pickle. Like in a jar, rinsed it. This was a budget version. Well, Allison, she gave me the strength to quick pickle. Because I see quick pickle, I go, I'm not ready for that. I'm just, eh. It's too much, yeah. It's not too much. It's perfect. It's literally just. And that sun-dried tomato pasta is in this book, along with the pasta that I'm making tonight for dinner, lemon pepper pasta. See, the problem for me is anytime there's a pasta recipe that is not tomato.

29:13You're out? I start to go, fuck. No, no, I started to go, or would I rather have the tomato? Yeah. It's almost like I need it also. It needs to be like, I mean, I can manage. Let's get real. I need to accidentally not have any tomato-based products. That's the thing. I almost, I would never get a Cacio. I'm so scared of tomatoes right now due to my latest allergy outbreak. Kate, I saw an Instagram. Two, two of them. Two Instagrams changed my life. Okay. One. I go. By the way, I have a complaint against Apple. Do you use AirPods? No. Exactly. So, and I'm sure I've brought it up before, but it just comes to a head again for me.

29:51The remote, too small, right? The Apple TV. It's a laugh and a half. It's not Zen to have a tiny remote that's never not between the couch cushions. It's impossible to find at all moments. Yeah, credit card size. And that slips around in your fingers. Two, AirPods, okay? They don't fit my ears right, blah, blah. But I've been around people who are committed to the AirPod, Chris included. okay a friend of mine i'm sorry is it zen is it okay is it is it is it steve jobs you know zen simplicity of design to watch them on their knees hunting in the airport okay in the tsa line chris dives under on his knees okay dives and military crawls under the ropes okay Yeah, yeah, yeah.

30:40To seize his AirPods. Then we're walking, crossing to where you get the, if you do Uber Black and you can do the curbside with the code, it's a whole new thing at JFK. You need to try it, okay? You don't have to look for your car. It's just the first Uber is in line becomes your Uber, whatever. Genius. Well, finally, someone fucking figured it out. Someone fucking figured it out. Jesus Christ. Like animals down here. Rooting. It was a huge quote. The biggest overhaul in years. the New York Times on the side of a building at JFK because they're overhauling. It was like a blurb about their rent.